March 29, 2025 • 16 mins
OUTWEIGH: If willpower alone isn’t enough to stop numbing, what is? In this episode, Chip and Leanne explore why true healing starts with understanding the function of our coping behaviors—not just trying to “fix” them. They share the first steps to recognizing an unhealthy coping pattern, decoding what it’s really telling you, and shifting from avoidance to awareness. This episode is all about embracing discomfort as the key to freedom and learning how to break the cycle for good.
Visit Chip's website at: ChipDodd.com
You can order your copy of Chip's book, The Voice of the Heart: A Call To Full Living HERE.
Listen to the Living With Heart Podcast HERE.
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong,
I feel free, I know everybody of me.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then he'll always out way if you feel it,
but you.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
She'll some love to the food by you have.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
There, say good day and did you and die out?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Hey hey leanne here and I hope you enjoyed this
series with doctor Chip Dodd. Here on outweigh and if
you want to learn more about how I teach my
own clients to turn off the part of their brain
that's obsessed with food, obsessed with their weight, and rewire
their own brain for peace and freedom, then head on
over to Stressless eating dot com, where I've literally peeled
back the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy
(00:58):
I teach my clients to heal themselves from the all
or nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves,
punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use
words like macros, low carb or calorie burn. It is
all over there for you to access over at stressless
seeding dot com.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Happy Saturday at Way, we are here back with doctor
Chip DoD.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Hello, Hey, how good see you again.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, glad to have this momentum.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
If you missed the first two weeks, definitely go back
and check it out. The first part of this series
we talked about what addiction really is, what it isn't
and then last week we talked about why we actually
numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain and
seek comfort.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And on both of.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
These episodes we got obviously the emotional.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Heart side of it, because that's where we're learning, is
where it starts and it ends right and where there's
really no starter end but no ending, i should say.
But then we also got into the neuroside of it
and the logic and reason side of it, and to
help you meet your logic and reason brain with your
emotional spiritual side. So now that you have this new
awareness of what the problem is and what the problem isn't,
we're going to the next two episodes we're going to
(02:05):
talk about what does healing look like? So this week
we're going to talk about healing from the inside out
and learning to actually break free from the need to numb.
So we've talked about in the past couple of weeks,
why willpower alone doesn't work, and how breaking free from
that numbing starts with its true understanding where it's really
coming from. And we went into depth about where it
comes from, which is really the heart right and that
(02:27):
brain heart kind of dance that's going on right now,
and how you recognizing these unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning
to decode what is actually being told. And we talked
about the dopamine oxytocin connection and really just the need
to be needed but not giving ourselves permission to be
needed and to need and the self sufficiency that comes
alongside that. But then also it becomes an identity, and
(02:51):
we also feel shame about our shame and that all
the stuff that's happening within that paradigm. And so now
let's talk about how do we shift from avoidance to
awareness and then obviously the healing side of it without
like we talked about going back in our old the
skeletons are emotional graveyard, and we talked to a little
bit about how we yes, there's a bit of embracing
(03:13):
the discomfort and not relying on the short term gratification track,
which is easier said than done right.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So how do we start.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Moving into healing, moving from avoidance to awareness? Big loaded
question that is fantastic.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I want to back up just a little bit. I
love you said decode, and you also said shame about
our shame, and so it's amazing how far removed we
get from being able to identify our true selves. We
have shame about our shame, and then we say we
shouldn't have shame about our shame, which has a third
level of shame. By the way, I would love for
(03:47):
everybody to back the episode up and just listen to you,
because you are power packed with literally accurate expression of
how we're made and what we're made to do and
so on. So I just hope that people will continue
to come back to any episode you do. And he
says a genuine affirmation, not because I'm on your podcast,
(04:10):
but I mean that you're really bringing a wanting and
a desire for people to get what they need so
they could be set free to go live the lives
they're made to have. Because other people's lives get blessed
when we dare to take the journey into healing, because
we become a place that other people can find what
they're looking for. And man, look, other people out there
(04:32):
are alone because we're along with ourselves, and other people
out there are every bit just like us. No matter
how much they look a certain way and we internally
feel a certain way, they feel the same way. And
if we would just dare to say, hey, do you
somebody else is going to say, yeah, me too. Like
we refer to the woman last time and who went
(04:54):
to her meeting and she looked around the room, Will
me too? I didn't know that could be so close
so fast as the people I've never met before. Yes,
this episode, I want people, if they would, to go
to chipdawg dot com hit free resources and go ahead
and download. It's two little bitty expressions. One's called the
(05:14):
Amazing Gift of Feelings. I'm talking about like three fourths
of a page. Please, you can read that much even
in today's fast moving climate. And the second one is
the eight core Feelings and their purposes. Okay, because that
is the doorway into the rest of our lives with healing,
and we know that we our job is to come
(05:36):
back to living fully and then just simply live until
you die, but live fully until you die. Because everybody's
going to so there's no end to the journey. There's
a reawakening and then acquiring the skills of living so
that you end up riving to be somebody who can,
who is recognized that they're gifted, and there's a world
in need of our gifts versus just a shame. And
(05:59):
maybe someday, if I work hard enough, I'll be worth something.
You're already worth something, but you forgot you're already worth something,
but it was suppressed. You were already worth something, but
somebody told you you weren't, And whoever that was was
important enough for you to hide your heart and put
your willpower and thinking in front of it. And so
the willpower and the thinking took over. For how God
(06:22):
made a person to be to use their brains to
express their hearts rather than using their brains and willpower
to hide their hearts. Because once your heart is committed
to something, you will will follow, and once your heart
is committed to something, your mind will engage in attending
to it. But anyway, it all starts with the amazing
gift of feelings. So how do we heal? We have
(06:45):
to take a risk of facing that our feelings are passwords.
They help decode the mechanism, the push button thing to
let us inside ourselves. So feelings are passwords that let
you in yourself on your computer. If you know your passwords,
Think about the times I've lost my passwords and I
freak out so I can't get in to my whatever. Anyhow,
(07:08):
I wound up being so helpless that I want to
numb out, run away, escape, you know, jump off a building,
you know, just quit whatever it is I've had planned
to do. So feedings are passwords, and they are also lanterns.
So once you get in, they show you around, and
they're also keys. They don't they unlock rooms in a
(07:30):
mansion that we left behind and never learned how to
grow into. So I want you to know who our
true selves are, so much bigger than we even know.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
It's an abandon.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
Yes, it's an abandoned mansion and it is. And there's
one room that we locked a long time ago. It's
full of light French doors. In the back, there's a
there's a grand piano in there, even we don't we
don't even play. The first is covered with sheets. We
just take the sheets off. But what's amazing is the
one thing that's not uncovered. There's a vase of flowers
(08:03):
sitting on that grand piano with clear water, a clear
vase and fresh flowers picked that morning that still have due.
That means somebody's been coming into that room, waiting and
hoping on our return. In other words, there was a
home we left because on some level we foreclosed on
our hearts or orphered our hearts. So returning to the
(08:25):
feelings now upon the doorway of the human heart, there
are written eight words. I mean, I know it sounds
overly simplistic, but it isn't. There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame, song.
You can look them up, but each one is a
tool that allows us to step into what are our
needs and what's through our desire? What are I long for?
(08:47):
What our hope? It's a return to how it remade,
which is what addiction and even our coping skills take
us away from. We try to cope in such a
way that we don't have to feel or become addicted
that don't even know what we fit right. So returning
starts to come with believe or not we learn four questions.
(09:11):
Here are the four questions. Once you kind of get
familiar with taking a risk of believing you do have
feelings and they're kind of eight of them, and at
first you may not know the eight. But here's how
you can find the eight. You can say, I don't
know what I feel, but what would another human being feel?
In other words, you can picture yourself being somebody else.
(09:32):
What would that person feel in this situation? Because we've
spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other people to
see what we need to.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Then you can know for yourself. Or you could say
what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Another way of doing it is describe what it's like.
You shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say now, what
(10:01):
is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
feelings being described? So you get closer. You can also
believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
some ways, but thank god we're actually paying attention to it.
Body keeps the score when the body says no, your
body will tell you an experience. But I want you
to know don't stop there. Your body's telling you an experience,
(10:22):
and what's your body telling you that it's trying to
tell you that you're feeling? Like, go to your eight feelings.
Now there are just eight feelings. Well, guess what, there
are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book
The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
eight feelings specifically and how each one.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Has a gift, which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
But then how also each one has its own impairment
and how you know, kind.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Of when it's like if they talk about clean pain.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And dirty pain, context you know, and a way to
navigate and kind of again decode your own feelings.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
And so that's so so relevant to this.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I heard it that I've heard it was like a
psychle an actual psychological term that psychologists us. So there
you go, we're masterminding right now. But I'll just share
from from your book. The eight feelings are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt,
and glad and I'll blink it. In the show notes,
(11:33):
we talked about this in depth and we talked about
when you're on what's God got to do with it?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
But definitely check that out because it.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Really becomes this navigation system like if you're lost in
the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 5 (11:42):
You know?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
So this is that for the heart. In terms of
this conversation of healing and what true healing looks like.
You know, we talked about we have to acknowledge our
needs and our emotions and boundaries right to break the cycle.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
So before we end, if you were to just nutshell,
what does that process.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Look like this?
Speaker 5 (12:00):
It looks like this is there are four questions we
need to answer to really reunite with ourselves. This is
just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which is kind
of like what am I feeling? It's amazing? That's God's
first questions, where are you? To humanity? And the answer
that God was looking for was emotional and that's where
the human beings said, I was afraid and this is
(12:22):
what I did with it. So where am I, which
is what am I feeling, what am I doing with it?
What am I doing with where I am? Which is
taking ownership, which is using your mind to address your motives.
And then number three is what happened or what's happening?
What's the story not the rationalization, but what's the story
(12:46):
of how I wound up where I'm sitting right now
or standing? And then the fourth question is what's this like?
And then there's a fifth thing. Finally, First, you find
yourself as much as you can with the help of others.
Speaker 6 (12:59):
But then who do I tell? Because remember you're created
for relationship. You're created to find fulfillment through connection to yourselves,
others in God. So you got to kind of be
able to start finding that self to speak. So the
five things, there are four questions, and then the final one,
the fifth one is who do I tell?
Speaker 5 (13:18):
I mean who will care who? And we find out
a lot of times we have restricted our lives to
no one first, and I remember that for myself. I
picked up a phone one day, it was nineteen eighty something,
and I've got to call somebody because I am so lonely.
I found the lonely and I picked up the phone,
and I ended up looking at the receiver. There was
(13:40):
no one. Now I could call people to see how
they were doing, right, totally, how you doing? Just call
to see how you're doing, to get somebody to care
about me. But I need to carry about them, right,
But no one to call to say I'm in need.
And there are a lot of people out there who
were really needing to hear somebody say I get it,
you know, like you know, sorry, that's where it starts
(14:02):
flu do I tell Yeah, And it's okay. If you
find no one.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Fresh, that's okay, it's not bad. It's part of again,
it's part of what. That's the way, it's just a
product exactly. It's an awareness of like, okay, maybe this
is something to look into, you know. So and yeah,
we talked a lot about that on episode one of
this series of really you know, finding that the need
to be needed, but also knowing that it's it's human
of you and that's something that needs to be addressed
(14:25):
because it's not.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Going to go away and to require not asire And you.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Know, it's so good to leanne because you know, we
we have to face that we can't give what we
don't have. And if I'm not good at knowing what
feedings are. Also, if I'm not good at needing, can
I really step into the needs of another? Really, I
can't give what I don't have if I if I
don't know what it is to be in need, then
on some level I might meet your needs. But I'm
(14:49):
doing it for me, not as a way relating to you,
but really relating.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
You know, absolutely, soh so good recovery. Yeah, it's amazing.
It's amazing. And definitely go.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Over to chip DoD dot com and find out all
of the resources. If you click on free resources over there,
you'll get the amazing gift of feelings in those eight
core feelings and their purposes when you go over to
that page and definitely check out his Living with Heart podcasts.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
He gets to be all of who he is and teach.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
What I would say is really, you know you you
beautifully take the voice of the heart, but you back
it up with science, and then you back it up
with stories and experiences and you share your.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Own and those of you know, decades of working in
the recovery world.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing, Leanne. You
will you will have a longevity in terms of the
passions of your heart. Almost certainly for as long as
you're here, Okay, and see, I want your audience to
hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
(15:52):
I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
passion that comes out of I don't like honestly, look
at anger chapter and the voice of the heart. Anger
is essential And I was wanting something, desiring something, longing
for something. Once you have that, you'll get tired. But
you your candle doesn't go out, right.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I needed to
hear that.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I know everyone out there that's candle's gone out needed.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
To hear that.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Absolutely, it'll reignite.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Absolutely love it. Well, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
We will be back next week for our fourth and
final part of the series, talking about the courage to
feel and transforming your relationship with emotions.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
So we kind.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
going to get to the core of that center of
that onion next week.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
So thanks for being here and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Bye, thank you,
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong,
I feel free, I know everybody of me.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then he'll always out way if you feel it,
but you.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
She'll some love to the food by you have.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
There, say good day and did you and die out?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Hey hey leanne here and I hope you enjoyed this
series with doctor Chip Dodd. Here on outweigh and if
you want to learn more about how I teach my
own clients to turn off the part of their brain
that's obsessed with food, obsessed with their weight, and rewire
their own brain for peace and freedom, then head on
over to Stressless eating dot com, where I've literally peeled
back the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy
(00:58):
I teach my clients to heal themselves from the all
or nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves,
punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use
words like macros, low carb or calorie burn. It is
all over there for you to access over at stressless
seeding dot com.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Happy Saturday at Way, we are here back with doctor
Chip DoD.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Hello, Hey, how good see you again.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, glad to have this momentum.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
If you missed the first two weeks, definitely go back
and check it out. The first part of this series
we talked about what addiction really is, what it isn't
and then last week we talked about why we actually
numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain and
seek comfort.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And on both of.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
These episodes we got obviously the emotional.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Heart side of it, because that's where we're learning, is
where it starts and it ends right and where there's
really no starter end but no ending, i should say.
But then we also got into the neuroside of it
and the logic and reason side of it, and to
help you meet your logic and reason brain with your
emotional spiritual side. So now that you have this new
awareness of what the problem is and what the problem isn't,
we're going to the next two episodes we're going to
(02:05):
talk about what does healing look like? So this week
we're going to talk about healing from the inside out
and learning to actually break free from the need to numb.
So we've talked about in the past couple of weeks,
why willpower alone doesn't work, and how breaking free from
that numbing starts with its true understanding where it's really
coming from. And we went into depth about where it
comes from, which is really the heart right and that
(02:27):
brain heart kind of dance that's going on right now,
and how you recognizing these unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning
to decode what is actually being told. And we talked
about the dopamine oxytocin connection and really just the need
to be needed but not giving ourselves permission to be
needed and to need and the self sufficiency that comes
alongside that. But then also it becomes an identity, and
(02:51):
we also feel shame about our shame and that all
the stuff that's happening within that paradigm. And so now
let's talk about how do we shift from avoidance to
awareness and then obviously the healing side of it without
like we talked about going back in our old the
skeletons are emotional graveyard, and we talked to a little
bit about how we yes, there's a bit of embracing
(03:13):
the discomfort and not relying on the short term gratification track,
which is easier said than done right.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So how do we start.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Moving into healing, moving from avoidance to awareness? Big loaded
question that is fantastic.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I want to back up just a little bit. I
love you said decode, and you also said shame about
our shame, and so it's amazing how far removed we
get from being able to identify our true selves. We
have shame about our shame, and then we say we
shouldn't have shame about our shame, which has a third
level of shame. By the way, I would love for
(03:47):
everybody to back the episode up and just listen to you,
because you are power packed with literally accurate expression of
how we're made and what we're made to do and
so on. So I just hope that people will continue
to come back to any episode you do. And he
says a genuine affirmation, not because I'm on your podcast,
(04:10):
but I mean that you're really bringing a wanting and
a desire for people to get what they need so
they could be set free to go live the lives
they're made to have. Because other people's lives get blessed
when we dare to take the journey into healing, because
we become a place that other people can find what
they're looking for. And man, look, other people out there
(04:32):
are alone because we're along with ourselves, and other people
out there are every bit just like us. No matter
how much they look a certain way and we internally
feel a certain way, they feel the same way. And
if we would just dare to say, hey, do you
somebody else is going to say, yeah, me too. Like
we refer to the woman last time and who went
(04:54):
to her meeting and she looked around the room, Will
me too? I didn't know that could be so close
so fast as the people I've never met before. Yes,
this episode, I want people, if they would, to go
to chipdawg dot com hit free resources and go ahead
and download. It's two little bitty expressions. One's called the
(05:14):
Amazing Gift of Feelings. I'm talking about like three fourths
of a page. Please, you can read that much even
in today's fast moving climate. And the second one is
the eight core Feelings and their purposes. Okay, because that
is the doorway into the rest of our lives with healing,
and we know that we our job is to come
(05:36):
back to living fully and then just simply live until
you die, but live fully until you die. Because everybody's
going to so there's no end to the journey. There's
a reawakening and then acquiring the skills of living so
that you end up riving to be somebody who can,
who is recognized that they're gifted, and there's a world
in need of our gifts versus just a shame. And
(05:59):
maybe someday, if I work hard enough, I'll be worth something.
You're already worth something, but you forgot you're already worth something,
but it was suppressed. You were already worth something, but
somebody told you you weren't, And whoever that was was
important enough for you to hide your heart and put
your willpower and thinking in front of it. And so
the willpower and the thinking took over. For how God
(06:22):
made a person to be to use their brains to
express their hearts rather than using their brains and willpower
to hide their hearts. Because once your heart is committed
to something, you will will follow, and once your heart
is committed to something, your mind will engage in attending
to it. But anyway, it all starts with the amazing
gift of feelings. So how do we heal? We have
(06:45):
to take a risk of facing that our feelings are passwords.
They help decode the mechanism, the push button thing to
let us inside ourselves. So feelings are passwords that let
you in yourself on your computer. If you know your passwords,
Think about the times I've lost my passwords and I
freak out so I can't get in to my whatever. Anyhow,
(07:08):
I wound up being so helpless that I want to
numb out, run away, escape, you know, jump off a building,
you know, just quit whatever it is I've had planned
to do. So feedings are passwords, and they are also lanterns.
So once you get in, they show you around, and
they're also keys. They don't they unlock rooms in a
(07:30):
mansion that we left behind and never learned how to
grow into. So I want you to know who our
true selves are, so much bigger than we even know.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
It's an abandon.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
Yes, it's an abandoned mansion and it is. And there's
one room that we locked a long time ago. It's
full of light French doors. In the back, there's a
there's a grand piano in there, even we don't we
don't even play. The first is covered with sheets. We
just take the sheets off. But what's amazing is the
one thing that's not uncovered. There's a vase of flowers
(08:03):
sitting on that grand piano with clear water, a clear
vase and fresh flowers picked that morning that still have due.
That means somebody's been coming into that room, waiting and
hoping on our return. In other words, there was a
home we left because on some level we foreclosed on
our hearts or orphered our hearts. So returning to the
(08:25):
feelings now upon the doorway of the human heart, there
are written eight words. I mean, I know it sounds
overly simplistic, but it isn't. There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame, song.
You can look them up, but each one is a
tool that allows us to step into what are our
needs and what's through our desire? What are I long for?
(08:47):
What our hope? It's a return to how it remade,
which is what addiction and even our coping skills take
us away from. We try to cope in such a
way that we don't have to feel or become addicted
that don't even know what we fit right. So returning
starts to come with believe or not we learn four questions.
(09:11):
Here are the four questions. Once you kind of get
familiar with taking a risk of believing you do have
feelings and they're kind of eight of them, and at
first you may not know the eight. But here's how
you can find the eight. You can say, I don't
know what I feel, but what would another human being feel?
In other words, you can picture yourself being somebody else.
(09:32):
What would that person feel in this situation? Because we've
spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other people to
see what we need to.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Then you can know for yourself. Or you could say
what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Another way of doing it is describe what it's like.
You shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say now, what
(10:01):
is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
feelings being described? So you get closer. You can also
believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
some ways, but thank god we're actually paying attention to it.
Body keeps the score when the body says no, your
body will tell you an experience. But I want you
to know don't stop there. Your body's telling you an experience,
(10:22):
and what's your body telling you that it's trying to
tell you that you're feeling? Like, go to your eight feelings.
Now there are just eight feelings. Well, guess what, there
are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book
The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
eight feelings specifically and how each one.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Has a gift, which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
But then how also each one has its own impairment
and how you know, kind.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Of when it's like if they talk about clean pain.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And dirty pain, context you know, and a way to
navigate and kind of again decode your own feelings.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
And so that's so so relevant to this.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I heard it that I've heard it was like a
psychle an actual psychological term that psychologists us. So there
you go, we're masterminding right now. But I'll just share
from from your book. The eight feelings are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt,
and glad and I'll blink it. In the show notes,
(11:33):
we talked about this in depth and we talked about
when you're on what's God got to do with it?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
But definitely check that out because it.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Really becomes this navigation system like if you're lost in
the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 5 (11:42):
You know?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
So this is that for the heart. In terms of
this conversation of healing and what true healing looks like.
You know, we talked about we have to acknowledge our
needs and our emotions and boundaries right to break the cycle.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
So before we end, if you were to just nutshell,
what does that process.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Look like this?
Speaker 5 (12:00):
It looks like this is there are four questions we
need to answer to really reunite with ourselves. This is
just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which is kind
of like what am I feeling? It's amazing? That's God's
first questions, where are you? To humanity? And the answer
that God was looking for was emotional and that's where
the human beings said, I was afraid and this is
(12:22):
what I did with it. So where am I, which
is what am I feeling, what am I doing with it?
What am I doing with where I am? Which is
taking ownership, which is using your mind to address your motives.
And then number three is what happened or what's happening?
What's the story not the rationalization, but what's the story
(12:46):
of how I wound up where I'm sitting right now
or standing? And then the fourth question is what's this like?
And then there's a fifth thing. Finally, First, you find
yourself as much as you can with the help of others.
Speaker 6 (12:59):
But then who do I tell? Because remember you're created
for relationship. You're created to find fulfillment through connection to yourselves,
others in God. So you got to kind of be
able to start finding that self to speak. So the
five things, there are four questions, and then the final one,
the fifth one is who do I tell?
Speaker 5 (13:18):
I mean who will care who? And we find out
a lot of times we have restricted our lives to
no one first, and I remember that for myself. I
picked up a phone one day, it was nineteen eighty something,
and I've got to call somebody because I am so lonely.
I found the lonely and I picked up the phone,
and I ended up looking at the receiver. There was
(13:40):
no one. Now I could call people to see how
they were doing, right, totally, how you doing? Just call
to see how you're doing, to get somebody to care
about me. But I need to carry about them, right,
But no one to call to say I'm in need.
And there are a lot of people out there who
were really needing to hear somebody say I get it,
you know, like you know, sorry, that's where it starts
(14:02):
flu do I tell Yeah, And it's okay. If you
find no one.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Fresh, that's okay, it's not bad. It's part of again,
it's part of what. That's the way, it's just a
product exactly. It's an awareness of like, okay, maybe this
is something to look into, you know. So and yeah,
we talked a lot about that on episode one of
this series of really you know, finding that the need
to be needed, but also knowing that it's it's human
of you and that's something that needs to be addressed
(14:25):
because it's not.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Going to go away and to require not asire And you.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Know, it's so good to leanne because you know, we
we have to face that we can't give what we
don't have. And if I'm not good at knowing what
feedings are. Also, if I'm not good at needing, can
I really step into the needs of another? Really, I
can't give what I don't have if I if I
don't know what it is to be in need, then
on some level I might meet your needs. But I'm
(14:49):
doing it for me, not as a way relating to you,
but really relating.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
You know, absolutely, soh so good recovery. Yeah, it's amazing.
It's amazing. And definitely go.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Over to chip DoD dot com and find out all
of the resources. If you click on free resources over there,
you'll get the amazing gift of feelings in those eight
core feelings and their purposes when you go over to
that page and definitely check out his Living with Heart podcasts.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
He gets to be all of who he is and teach.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
What I would say is really, you know you you
beautifully take the voice of the heart, but you back
it up with science, and then you back it up
with stories and experiences and you share your.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Own and those of you know, decades of working in
the recovery world.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing, Leanne. You
will you will have a longevity in terms of the
passions of your heart. Almost certainly for as long as
you're here, Okay, and see, I want your audience to
hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
(15:52):
I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
passion that comes out of I don't like honestly, look
at anger chapter and the voice of the heart. Anger
is essential And I was wanting something, desiring something, longing
for something. Once you have that, you'll get tired. But
you your candle doesn't go out, right.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I needed to
hear that.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I know everyone out there that's candle's gone out needed.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
To hear that.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Absolutely, it'll reignite.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Absolutely love it. Well, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
We will be back next week for our fourth and
final part of the series, talking about the courage to
feel and transforming your relationship with emotions.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
So we kind.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
going to get to the core of that center of
that onion next week.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
So thanks for being here and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Bye, thank you,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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