January 27, 2022 • 38 mins
Meri joined Amy for a little intro to this important episode with Danielle Owens from ‘The Refuge Ranch’ (a place of rest & restoration for child survivors of sex trafficing) because @TheShopForward is is currently supporting them with their ‘LOVE’ collection. Danielle is President & COO of 'The Refuge Ranch' and we are so thankful that she joined us for this conversation.
LINKS:
TheShopForward.com/Love (Valentine’s Day line supporting The Refuge Ranch)
TheRefugeDMST.org (click to learn more & see the impact they are making!)
STATS:
Child sex trafficking is the fastest-growing crime in the world. — United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime
The average age a girl is lured or forced into sex trafficking is just 15 years old. — National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)
Online forms of sex trafficking increased by more than 45% during the COVID-19 pandemic. — Polaris Project
Child sex trafficking is the fastest-growing crime in the world — United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime
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(Episode 325)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for you. So life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful. Thanks, beautiful laughs, a little month. You're
(00:29):
kicking four. Happy Thursday. I've got Mary on with me
right now. And Mary, this is your first Cammy on
the podcast. Oh wow, yeah, happy, Thanks for having me.
And if you're new, Mary's a close friend and she's
founder of the Shot Forward, which you'll learn how Mary
ties into today's episode in a minute. Because the topic
(00:52):
is child trafficking, which is a very important topic. Also heavy,
definitely heavy conversation. So I just kind of want to
put a litt trigger warning here right now to let
you know in case you need to skip this conversation.
But first, I want to start off with a little
gratitude since Mary's on here. It's something we've done a
lot over the years, especially you know, given that we
(01:13):
have a four Things gratitude journal. But Mary, I want
to get specific with you for things that you're thankful for.
I like doing it this way because you know, if
we go over something that you're reading, you're watching on TV,
I'll follow on Instagram and a drink that you like.
I feel like people may learn something that they want
to go check out like read, or watch or or
maybe even drink. So we'll start with four things. Gratitude
(01:36):
if you want to start with a book you're thankful for. Okay,
when you first started talking about this, the things that
come to mind are like not deep, like you were talking,
this is gonna be a deep conversation and like heavy.
But I feel like recently I just wanted things that
are entertaining but like don't necessarily matter. So my book
would be The Royal we which I read it like
a long time ago, and it's if you're into the
(01:57):
Royal family or just like want something fun and like hearted.
It's almost like a royal Hallmark movie in a book.
So and the audiobook is really good too, So that's
what that would be my book. Well, I just want
to say you understood the assignment, even though there was
no instructions the assignment. But in that with the kids
say oh yes, I understood the assignment or whatever. Because
(02:17):
it is a heavy topic. But I did want to
start with some gratitude and keep it kind of light
because yes, heavy conversation, just adding some balance and there's
already a lot of heaviness out there. So I'm sure
a book to escape in is something perfect for People
TV show. I recently got Peacock, which I didn't have before.
So and I'm a huge Office fan, and they have
these extended like super fan episodes with deleted scenes that
(02:41):
I had never seen before. So it was just like
this amazing little gift as an Office fan. So Stashia
and I have been going through Friends, like while I
do her hair, which through the computer, can you see
all these burns on my hand? God? So I thought
that was from your cat. No. I call these love
marks because Stashira has started to want to want her
hair to give it that like a beach wave, and
(03:04):
so I do her hair and I have yet to
not bear myself, so I need to put on gloves
or something. But anyway, these are my love marks. But
we watch Friends while we do the hair, and we're
we've made our way through it, like we just did
the finale. And she sent me a text this morning
actually saying now that we're done with Friends, can we
start the Office, And I was like, oh, yes, we can,
(03:26):
So I know. I just I love having a teenager
and being able to enjoy things together that we both like.
And then I replied back, oh, I love the Office,
and she replied back, well, then it's settled. We're watching
The Office next. I love it. Okay, So what about
a follow on Instagram? So going with the theme of entertaining,
but not like super deep, it's this girl her name
(03:46):
is not skinny, not fat on Instagram, which it has
nothing to do with like diets or anything like that.
But she's just like everything pop culture and just like
lighthearted things that don't matter. But she also lives in
New York City, which I live there for ten years,
so I love part of it too, but mainly just
like anything pop culture related, like gossip like things housewives
or The Bachelor or anything like that. Like, she's just
(04:09):
funny and very entertaining. And so what's her handle again?
Not skinny but not fat. And then what about a drink? Drink?
I guess I just go with my consistent iced tea,
like unsweetened green iced tea from Starbucks is my favorite.
But I also like make a lot of different types
of iced tea at home too. Sometimes at Starbucks, though,
you do like a little bit as stevia or something. Yeah,
(04:30):
I just get like a Stevia packet and then they're
you like a hole packet, or you like, I don't
have a packet and a Trenta that would be mine. Well,
I would say Mary is the pro at creating the
perfect unsweetened green iced tea, so sometimes that if you
go overboard on the Stevia, it tastes totally different. So
your recipe is trent to half a packet. That's really
big if you're like, maybe don't start with the trent To,
(04:52):
maybe start with the Grande and just like add your
own Stevia if you want, or some people do like lemonade,
which I think I don't love that with green iced,
but with their other ice tea it's really good. Isn't
that technically like an Arnold Palmer? Yeah, with their black
ice tea. Yeah, Okay, I love that. Those are good.
Now Mary's on because the shop for it is currently
supporting the Refuge Ranch, which is a place of rest
(05:15):
and restoration for child survivors of sex trafficking. And your
new love line is supporting the Refuge Ranch. And you know,
there's some really cute things if you happen to be
shopping for Valentine's Day that will get back to this organization.
And they're just providing so much hope and support to
girls that really really need it. So why did you
decide to work with the Refuge Ranch. Well, we wanted
(05:38):
to do a fun collection for Valentine's Day, and we
had all these ideas for cute products, but we always
try to think of something that makes most sense, like
with the collection, and they just came up right away
in my mind, because it's like things that say you
are loved or just loved. And I know that sex
trafficking is a real thing that's like really happening all
over the world, but also in our communities. And I
actually first learned about it from your sister Chris d
(06:00):
when she helped them in the past decorating some of
the cottages I think for some of the girls that
live there. So we always research a lot just to
try to let things out, and everyone had amazing things
to say about them, So I set up a call
and Yeah, I was just so impressed with everything they
do and to learn from them, and I'm also just
excited to hear your conversation with them or even more. Yeah,
(06:21):
and if you're curious about what all they do, that's
what I'll get into in my chat coming up after this,
but before you go, Mary, I would love to know
your favorite item. My favorite item is we have this
pink hoodie that says it's like has a like a
heart's happy face on the front, and then it has
you are loved on the back, repeated with a little
smiley based emoji. Two. So I've worn that way too
(06:43):
many days in a row and I think it's just
a fun sentiment to that says your love. That would
be my favorite. Yeah, I'm gonna actually have that one
up on my Instagram Radio Amy and like a like
a size fit thing because I did a photo shoot
a couple of weeks ago with some of this stuff
and h Racy took some videos showing you know how
it fits because the oversized look is right now. And
(07:06):
I ended up with the small because that's typically what's
true to size for me. But I wish I would
have kept the large. So if people wanted oversize, are
they kind of going one size or two sizes up? Yeah,
we recommend one, did too. I want two sizes up
because I wanted it really oversized, But just depending on
how you wanted to fit, I would say go up
one or two sizes for the oversized look otherwise get
your normal size. When's the last day to get in
(07:27):
time for Valentine's Day? Certain styles have already started selling out,
so I wouldn't wait too long. But we're saying February
three is the last day to order for Valentine's Day,
and so I know that the easiest way to get
there is the shop for dot com slash Love. And then, actually,
I got an email from a listener today randomly. She
obviously had no idea I had an episode coming up
(07:49):
about child trafficking, but she was sharing a book recommendation
with me, and it's from Emily in Illinois. And here's
what she wrote to all of us. You know, she
was recommending it to everyone. Have you read the book,
Open Blind Eyes. It's the story of a girl who
lives near my hometown who was sex trafficked by her
basketball coach as a young child. I know you've had
several episodes about sex traffickings, so just wanted to recommend it.
(08:12):
It comes with a strong trigger warning, but it's very
eye opening, hence the title Open Blind Eyes. And I
just thought that's a great book recommendation if you're looking
to learn more. But also a reminder and then you'll
learn more on this chat with Danielle coming up, that
it's happening, like you said, Mary, in our communities, and
it could be even yes with someone that you know
(08:34):
and someone that's supposed to be safe, like a basketball
coach or someone else. So I just wanted to share
Emily's email in case you listened to this episode and
want to do some further reading, and then you know,
before I get into my interview with Danielle. Her name
is daniel Owens and she's the president CEO of the
Refuge Ranch. But I want to just share some statistics,
(08:55):
which you know, Domestic minor sex trafficking is underreported and
an underground crime, so even the numbers that are out there,
it's likely more than what we see. And the average
age of a girl that is lured or forced into
sex trafficking is just fifteen years old. Online forms of
sex trafficking increased by more than during the pandemic, and
(09:17):
child sex trafficking is the fastest growing crime in the world.
Very I'm just thankful that you have created this line
that's going to come alongside the Refuge Ranch and support
what they're doing. Any final thoughts before I share my
chat with Danielle. No, we're just honored to support them.
And I hope everyone who bought anything from our loved
colection knows that you're directly helping these girls and what
(09:39):
you're learning about today. So these people who have gone
through like unimaginal things, you're gonna be helping them to
a place of restoration and healing through that journey. So
I hope you again. That's the shop floor dot Com
slash love and here is my talk with Danielle Owens,
who's President CEO of the Refuge Ranch. Alright, so honored
(10:09):
to be sitting across from daniel Owens on Zoom right now,
and she's coming to us from Austin and I'm in Nashville.
But are you at the Refuge Ranch headquarters? I am
actually on the Refuge Ranch. Okay, well, then this is
a perfect way for you to explain to us exactly
what the Refuge Ranch is all about, what you'll do
(10:30):
there on a daily basis. Thank you, Amy so much
for the opportunity to share. The Refuge Ranch here in
Central Texas is the largest long term residential therapeutic facility
for domestic miners who have been rescued from sex trafficking,
and so the work we do on these fifty acres
is really about rest restoration and self actualization for girls
(10:54):
who have experienced the worst. This world can offer them
things that we can't imagine as adults who came from
loving homes and environments, and you know, we're able to
choose our destination through adolescents and into adulthood. These girls
haven't had any of that benefit, and so when they
come here, we try to create a space that is
(11:17):
restorative and that can meet all of their needs. How
do they typically make their way to the refuge Our
girls come here from primarily Texas, but we have girls
from all over the country. Majority of girls come to
the Refuge Ranch from Child Protective Services, from Juvenile Justice,
(11:38):
from FBI. UM. We have a number of girls here
who were trafficked across state lines as children and so
FBI places them here for recovery. Also from national advocacy
agencies like Traffic nine one one all provide referrals here
into the Refuge Ranch for us to take over care.
Do you think there's a misconcept sin that children that
(12:01):
are trafficked must be kids that come from a home
where the parents aren't present and they're more vulnerable. Where
does it typically fall? And I guess just if you
have any stats regarding that, Yeah, absolutely so. There are
a lot of misunderstandings about minor sex trafficking UM. And
when we say minor sex trafficking, we're talking about children
(12:22):
under the age of eighteen. The youngest age that I'm
aware of any of our children here who were trafficked
was three. The average age for miners who are trafficked
is fourteen to fifteen. We think, based on media representation,
that all these children are coming from other countries, UM,
and they're being brought here to you for people to
(12:44):
make money, or the families are selling them across the
country to raise money and have a better life, And
that's just not the case. Nine of the children who
are trafficked in this country are traffic by people they
know or people they've met, and the majority are actually
American citizens. They didn't come across state lines. So this
(13:07):
is a very pervasive crime that's happening across all neighborhoods,
across all states, across alsocio economics and demographics. Their majority
tend to come from areas of poverty within the state
or the country. But we have girls who've come from everywhere.
So you do have girls that have come from loving
(13:28):
homes where you would never suspect that something like this
would happen. Absolutely, and you know some of the routes,
especially for girls coming from loving homes, you know, some
of the routes are friends who recruit them. Again, these
are people, you know, a friend's older brother who recruits them. Um.
There are lots of different avenues, and there's also an
(13:48):
intersection between drugs and minor sex because when girls are
traffic the traffickers use drugs to control them and to
keep them manageable for the types of things they have
to do. Sometimes if girls get caught up in drugs,
they get pulled into trafficking by dealers who were trying
to create other revenue streams. This is a billion dollar
(14:10):
business and it's one of the most lucrative organized crimes
in the country. I feel like I learned a lot
about this actually listening to the podcast that was done
and then later watched a documentary about Jeffrey Epstein. Absolutely,
so I would encourage people to go listen to that
just because it is a mind blowing story of someone
that was super powerful and had all the resources but
(14:34):
was able to groom and recruit. When you said recruiting,
I instantly thought of him because some of that would
be He met one girl who went to this high
school and she told her friend at school, Hey, you
want to make some money here, just like giving massages.
Like it started as something not what you would think,
but then they once they get in, it's very, very
difficult to get out. That's exactly how grooming works. And
(14:57):
for many girls. You know, I think about myself as
a teenager. You know, am I lovable? Well, they think
I'm cute. Oh my gosh, I want you know, all
of those things you go through as a normal teenage girl, um,
and all of those insecurities. And if someone who's older
and has some money and they're telling you you're beautiful
and you're special and they love you, that's how grooming works.
(15:20):
And so you know, younger girls with older boyfriends, that's
always one of the warning signs we look at for
trafficking because if the girl feels love, she feels bonded
to them, and it's not until later in the relationship
where he starts to up the auntie of what she
needs to do to prove how much she loves him,
or she needs to do to pay him back for
(15:41):
all the wonderable gifts he bestowed on her. And so
it's very insidious how the traffickers work, and they are
really good at it. I'm curious, Daniel, how the pandemic
has affected child trafficking. That's a great question. You know,
the pandemic has been very difficult for those of us
provide services. But when we think about how victims, because
(16:05):
remember their children, so they're gonna go under the radar
for most you know, systems. When we think about the
pandemic closing down schools and after school programs and places
where children would gather with loving adults that supervise them
or or trying to teach them or in part care
on them. Without those environments, they go further into the
(16:29):
shadows in terms of their victimization. This is not a
crime that is out in front of us. It's you know,
in the dark Internet. It's you know, on web pages,
it's you know, through Snapchat and money and you know,
getting money for for pictures on Snapchat. It's variety of
mechanisms and those in the best position to notice changes
(16:52):
in children, to notice that suddenly they have lots of
bling or items, or they're feeling withdrawn, or you know anything.
I think it changes those adults weren't in their life
during COVID. And so we have seen from our advocates
in this state. We have seen from child Protective Services
the numbers of reported cases going way up now that
(17:16):
children are beginning to engage with safe places again, like school,
like after school programs. So on our website we do
have some of the signs of trafficking and what you
can look for, and we really encourage our communities and
our teachers in particular, who are finally going to be
able to put their eyes on their kids again, to
(17:37):
really understand what they're looking for, because without a community
watching and with the children being really out of you
with the pandemic, the level of victimization seems to have
gone up dramatically based on the reporting that's happening. How
long is a typical stay for someone at the refuge
trench um this day here is anywhere from nine to
(17:58):
twelve months. We have girls who have stayed longer. We
find that anything under nine months, the outcomes aren't quite
as we would hope, because it's just not enough time
to really deprogram, to uncover the different traumas and to
help heal those traumas. Most of our girls have traumas
(18:19):
upon trauma upon trauma, and so it takes a long
time to unpack that and get to a level of
safety with the girl as well as healing where she
can begin to finally start creating some hope for herself
and begin to start building a life for herself. You know,
what we do is provide residential care. Why we exist
(18:43):
is to hold hope and unconditially love these girls until
they can find hope and love themselves. And that is
a really tough journey. And then once they you know,
have spent twelve months there and there has been some healing,
are they typically reunited with family or where do girls
go next? Great questions, So that's very individual to your point.
(19:06):
We have some girls who come from you know, loving
families who we actually you know, we have foster families
who adopted girls who were you know, trafficked before they
were adopted and are now dealing with all of that
trauma that helpened when they were so young. So our
hope is to work with family therapy help the girl
heal and her to be able to go back and
(19:26):
be a robust part of that healthy family. It is
hard with that kind of childhood trauma to be fully
engaged in a family unit, and so some families have
just really struggled, and so bringing healing to the girl
and to the family is really important. The vast majority
that come from systems, and so it's a case by
case with their legal team, with their child protective team.
(19:49):
If that home was a place and that community was
a place that trafficed the girl, that's not someplace we
want to have her heal and go back to um.
And so we really do work for a chur jectory
of independence and economic stability for them. If there is
an opportunity to create a safe environment upon discharge, then
(20:09):
that's what we work for. Lots of our girls come
in sixteen seventeen, so they're leading closer to eighteen, and
so we really work on what is your hope, what
is your dream? What do you want your life to
look like, and built towards that so that they are
not dependent on a community or a person who has
trafficked them in the past or put them in an
environment that was unsafe, and to that point, we had
(20:31):
a girls graduate from high school in December and they
all started college here at the Ranch online this month,
so they aren't already starting their journey towards independence from
the situations that were so unkind and victimize them. That's awesome.
Thank you for sharing that. And I know this is
on zoom and it's a podcast, so people couldn't see
the excitement, but you were talking and then when you
(20:53):
thought of those three girls that graduated and now they're
in college, like your face completely lit up and you're
definitely citty. I of goose bumps now just seeing your
reaction and response. So obviously y'all are cultivating really special
relationships with these girls and you truly do care. And
I know that y'all are a five oh one C
three And so how do you get your funding? Where
(21:14):
does it come from? And then what are your big needs?
We get our funding from a variety of sources. But
the Refuge Ranch was built by Central Texas Community debt free.
So the community understood that this is a problem that
can affect anyone anywhere at any time, and that there
were so few services for the girls, and so the
(21:34):
community came together and helped us build the Refuge Ranch.
In terms of operations, we received funding from a variety
of sources. So we do have a Governor's grant here
in Texas that provides funding for minor sex trafficking recovery
and restoration. And then we received money from private foundations,
but the bulk of our money come from concerned citizens
(21:56):
who learned about this problem, can't believe that this is
something happen thing in our country, and a deep desire
to help these girls overcome their victimization and have a
life that's all their own. Yeah, I think. Um, if
people are ever evaluating, especially since the beginning of the year,
who do you want to support this year? Maybe consider
(22:17):
the Refuge Ranch. Maybe consider searching up similar type places
in your area, if maybe you know you want to
stay close to home with your giving. I mean we
understand that for sure. I mean, Austin is where I
was born and raised, even though I live in Nashville,
and my sister's family has been involved with the Refuge Ranch.
And Mary made these sweatshirts through the shop Forward that
(22:38):
are supporting the Refuge Ranch. So whatever that looks like
for you, maybe it is just it's buying a sweatshirt
and knowing that a donation is going to go to
the refuge ranch and every time you wear it, like
you can think of these girls and say a quick
prayer for them, and you know, I can imagine that
work is heavy at times. It is I say on
a daily basis, this is the hardest work and the
(23:00):
most joyous work I've ever done. And it's hard and
enjoy us simultaneously. To really walk beside these girls on
their journey, you have to be able to stand and
hold their trauma. And their trauma can be incredibly painful.
It can be angry, it can be fighting, it can
be just any variety of behaviors that help them survive
(23:23):
and get to the point where they could be at
the refuge, and we have to be able to stand there,
allow this trauma to show itself for them to work
through it. But it's intense, and it takes incredible fortitude
and caring of spirit to be able to stand in
that space day after day and still be whole for
(23:44):
yourself and be able to offer to the girls and
to go homeful to your family. So it is incredibly
challenging work and when the girls begin to see themselves
in a way that no one ever talked to them,
in a way where they find their own value, in
a way where they can start to articulate dreams and
(24:05):
hopes that they never even could think of before. The
joy is too much. And you know, when the girl,
when the girls graduate, or when they achieve something they've
been working for, it brings you to tears with the
joy and the possibilities that these girls have inside of
them and are beginning to see. Yeah, I mean really
it is true representation of hope because I'm just sitting
(24:28):
here imagining, you know, the gift I had as my childhood.
Like sure I had certain challenges and different things, but
my childhood wasn't ripped away from me and stolen. And
I just even think of my fourteen year old daughter.
And if you're listening right now and you have a
child in your life, whether it's your own or a
niece or or nephew, this isn't exclusive to just girls,
(24:51):
but just picture them in this type of situation. And
I just want to use this time to remind people
that it could happen to anybody, could have happened to me,
could have happened to my daughter, and then that helps
make it more real because I think sometimes even I
even though I know that it's true and it happens
like I think of like the movie version of things,
(25:12):
or like you mentioned earlier, it must be from another country.
But even if it is from another country, it's still children,
and it's still children that that need support. And I
love that y'all are offering that to them and then
ultimately giving them that big story of hope. I know
(25:38):
there's something cool that happened last year when the big
snowstorm hit Austin, So I would love to hear because
I don't know this story of how how y'all survived
that and then something that was negative actually ended up
being something positive for you all. It was so for
those who you know are in Austin, we have what
we belovedly called the snow apocalypse. And so the temperatures
(26:02):
dropped down into the teens and twenties, which is not
normal around here, and and none of our facilities are
are weathered to that temperature, and we got snowed in
with ice. And so it was the second week I
had been working at the refuge, and I was living
out here so that I could meet the girls, understand
their journey, work with the staff. And we got trapped,
(26:24):
absolutely cocooned here for a week and we lost power,
so we only had power five minutes every hour. We
had water except the pump that we have the well
required electricity. So we had a whole lot of cold
and a whole lot of time and not a lot
of things to entertain us. Um so we had you know, bonfires,
(26:47):
We went roller skating in the chapel. We we did
snowball fights, m but we had no heat and we
had limited water and power. And as I was new,
I took the time. I was like, you know, girls,
come do a little process mapping with me. And they're
like what, And I said, like, let's talk about your
(27:08):
day from the moment you wake up here at the
ranch till the night when you go to bed, put
your head on the pillow and fall asleep. Let's go
through the whole day and tell me at each step
you know what's working, what's helping you feel, what's helping
you move forward, what's making you crazy and not helping
you at all? And what is it what is it
that we're missing that could really be a benefit to you,
(27:31):
and how do you feel at all of these stages?
And when we completed this exercise that we were starting
from a strong pace because all of the girls said
when they went to sleep at night, they felt safe
and peaceful here at the ranch. So job done, I
feel safe and peaceful. But how do we help them
have a transformational journey of the heart. When the girls
(27:53):
come to the ranch, their heart is well insulated from
the pains and the traumas and dignities and the way
they will monetized. And so you know, sort of falling
that out and helping them find their little light and
their joy and their voice is really the key. And
so in working with the girls, we kept going back
(28:16):
to what are the things that would help you believe
that there's hope for you? What were the things that
you need that will help you be willing to try
and test something new that might be great for you.
And what the whole process revealed was a change in
how we provided our services to the girls over this
past year. We moved it more from behaviors and you know,
(28:41):
always doing the right You know what you've been told,
if you do this, you get this to wow, if
you do this, you get this, that's normal behavior, but
how do you have a transformation of the heart and
we will be We were able to start putting pieces
in place that helped the girl first find safety and
then moved to a space of stability and exploration and
(29:04):
growth in her own self. And it's that shift that
got us to three girls graduating this fall and three
girls starting college and you know, five more behind them
on the same track. And and it transformed our ability
to deliver our love, our care, our therapy in a
way the girls could receive it, use it, and grow
(29:27):
from it. It's always attempting in these environments to provide
the services like you would want them, but we're adults
and we haven't been through what they've been through, and
so to have their voice in the whole development of
the process really transformed what we did and how we
did it. And clearly it seems to be reaching the
(29:48):
girls more fully. I think sometimes we underestimate the voice
of a child. They know and they know what's tippen
not and they'll be sure to tell us. But the
another amazing thing that happened during that week, I mean
we were just cold the whole time, is that the
girls themselves are so resilient, and they came together and
(30:11):
bonded in ways they hadn't before. And you know, we
had one girl who literally figured out how to make
enchilada's to feed the entire ranch five minutes at a time,
so she knew when the power was coming on, she'd
get everything created that she'd sit there by cook for
five minutes and then wake um. And she managed to
(30:32):
cook meals and feed the whole the whole campus for
multiple days in a row. You know, just cool stuff
like that, where you you wouldn't have had the opportunity,
nor would she to prove what she could do for
so many other people who needed her. And that experience
of you know, sharing her love language of cooking with
(30:52):
everyone else on the ranch actually catapulted her onto a
growth journey where she saw that she had value and
she knew she could do things she never imagined and
it translated to the rest of her treatment time. It's
a perfect example in such a good reminder that I mean,
not everyone's going to be in that exact situation, but
of a challenge arising and then it end up you know,
(31:14):
something that could be really like oh and frustrating, which
I'm sure it was at times, but ultimately ended up
being something awesome and it created an experience you never
would have had otherwise. If you're faced with a challenge
this year, just think of this story and know that
good can come from it. What about Valentine's Day? Since
that is approaching, I guess at least it's what like
(31:37):
two weeks away from now, And I know there's something
cool that y'all do there, and I want people to
know about it because maybe they can help out with
it this year or next year, or again searching up
places similar in their community. Because I saw that last
year y'all had all your dresses donated from other people
in the community. And I'm thinking, gosh, so many of
my listeners probably have amazing dresses in their closet that
(31:59):
they could and eight to something cool like this. Yes, well,
Valentine's Day is really special. Um. You know, the girls
live on site, um, and we have all of the
services here, so you know, how do you create a
special Valentine's Day with all of the stereotypes of what
happens in the community. And so what we do is
we have all the staff come together and we create
(32:21):
an incredible five course meal for the girls, and the
girls get to dress up in ball gowns and do
their makeup and their hair and go to what is
a fine dining experience. And for the most of the
girls who come to the refuge ranch, uh, they have
not had that experience before. So we help them out
with you know, which works, do you use? Which plates?
(32:43):
And all of us wait on them hand and foot
while they enjoy a Valentine's dinner and celebration just to
the nines and learning their social skills, but feeling really honored,
loved and special. You touched on this when you start
talking about it. I don't want you to elaborate, because
it didn't dawn on me when I was asking the
(33:03):
question that a day celebrating quote unquote love and relationships,
what a difficult subject or topic that must be for
these girls. Yes it is. And the number one group
that the girls have requested and now that they attend
is really on interpersonal skills. They do not know how
(33:25):
to meet someone and have a healthy relationship. All of
their relationships, primarily with boys, have been through their traffickers
and it's been about what are you worth and what
do you've cost, and what will you do, not about
who are you? What's important to you? How will you
honor me? How will I honor you? And so really
that shift of you know, interaction is huge, and then
(33:50):
you add teenage years and all of them everything that
goes with that, and it's a really big challenge. So
our Valentine's Day celebration is really a celebration of our
love for them, hopefully their love for themselves and their
ability to build healthy relationships for the future. And so
we're trying to teach them the skills for when they
(34:13):
leave us and have those healthy relationships so that they
can feel comfortable making small talk, meeting people. What are
the appropriate kinds of questions that start a conversation. They
are gorgeous when they come. They love it so much
and they feel really honored and special. I love that
you'll do that, and I'm sure that's just one of
the many things that y'all are doing throughout the years.
(34:36):
I feel like between yes, the different therapies you'll offer,
and then the things that you do just so that
they have childhood experiences. There are multiple ways people could
get involved if they wanted to and to learn more
and just even maybe even this is something you become
a monthly donor. I feel like small donations can really
add up. You may be like I don't know if
(34:58):
I could add anything else on to my plate, or
if I don't know, if something strikes you about this,
like I'm sure organizations such as yours, you would rather
have more people know what's going on and donating a
little of time and it really adding up than depending
on one huge donor who you know. If that donor disappears,
then what absolutely and I think for us, we want
(35:19):
to reach as many people as possible because we talked
about at the beginning of this conversation this is really
hard to wrap your head around, and the more people
who know about us can share that minor sex trafficking
is real issue in every community in this country and
can be looking out for the children in your neighborhood.
(35:40):
We love when we have lots and lots of donors
from all over the country because it's not about what
they're giving, it's about what they're learning, what they're taking
back to their own communities so that children everywhere can
be kept safe from this kind of horrific victimization. I
know we've had guests on. But I know there's resources
online or if you wanted more information, you could search
(36:01):
it up and know what to look for and how
to Like there's stories of people who literally have saved
children's lives because they notice something weird at a grocery
store or they noticed something weird in a parking lot.
But you do have to be dialed in. And that's
why even though we're fitting this in in January because
that's Human Trafficking Awareness Month, this is something we need
(36:22):
to be aware of three hundred and sixty five days
a year or so. If we continue to have these conversations,
then it stays top of mind. And that and that
you'll kind of listen to your your inner voice. If
you see something I would say, even act on it.
You know, just it can't hurt, just if something's nudging
at you. Because I have seen those stories in the
(36:42):
news where I'm like, oh, my goodness, like thank goodness
for that person that said something. I'm going to give
out your website. It's the refuge d m ST. Now,
I know that stands for something, So why don't you
tell us domestic minor sex trafficking? So domestic minor sex trafficking.
So that's what the d M s T is for,
So the Refuge d m ST dot org. And I'm
(37:06):
just super thankful for the work that y'all are doing,
offering amazing care. I know, it's trauma informed, it's holistic care.
The girls are on site, there's psychiatric services, a lot
of your experiential things, and then again just a safe place.
Thank you so much for what you'll do, Daniel, And
I know it's not easy, it's heavy stuff, but I
(37:27):
am thankful for you taking the time to talk with
us today and and all the work you do every day. Well,
thank you so much. Amy, it's been a delight talking
to you. We really appreciate your support for giving this
information out to the community. Yeah, and then I'll just
remind people when last time, you know, Mary was on earlier.
But the shop forward dot com slash Love is where
(37:49):
you can check out the entire love line and it's
supporting the Refuge ranch your If you're looking for something
to shop for Valentine's Day, I would do it now
because you want to make sure you get it in time,
or if you're trying to find a Valentine's Day gift
for a friend or a loved one or something like that.
Then shop this line because it'll be a special gift,
and when you give it to them, it's a win
(38:11):
win gift. It's a gift that keeps on giving because
you're getting them something, but you're also contributing to an
organization that is changing lives. Thank you Daniel, Thank you Amy,
Okay, little food for you. So life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful. Thanks, beautiful laughs, a little month. You're
(00:29):
kicking four. Happy Thursday. I've got Mary on with me
right now. And Mary, this is your first Cammy on
the podcast. Oh wow, yeah, happy, Thanks for having me.
And if you're new, Mary's a close friend and she's
founder of the Shot Forward, which you'll learn how Mary
ties into today's episode in a minute. Because the topic
(00:52):
is child trafficking, which is a very important topic. Also heavy,
definitely heavy conversation. So I just kind of want to
put a litt trigger warning here right now to let
you know in case you need to skip this conversation.
But first, I want to start off with a little
gratitude since Mary's on here. It's something we've done a
lot over the years, especially you know, given that we
(01:13):
have a four Things gratitude journal. But Mary, I want
to get specific with you for things that you're thankful for.
I like doing it this way because you know, if
we go over something that you're reading, you're watching on TV,
I'll follow on Instagram and a drink that you like.
I feel like people may learn something that they want
to go check out like read, or watch or or
maybe even drink. So we'll start with four things. Gratitude
(01:36):
if you want to start with a book you're thankful for. Okay,
when you first started talking about this, the things that
come to mind are like not deep, like you were talking,
this is gonna be a deep conversation and like heavy.
But I feel like recently I just wanted things that
are entertaining but like don't necessarily matter. So my book
would be The Royal we which I read it like
a long time ago, and it's if you're into the
(01:57):
Royal family or just like want something fun and like hearted.
It's almost like a royal Hallmark movie in a book.
So and the audiobook is really good too, So that's
what that would be my book. Well, I just want
to say you understood the assignment, even though there was
no instructions the assignment. But in that with the kids
say oh yes, I understood the assignment or whatever. Because
(02:17):
it is a heavy topic. But I did want to
start with some gratitude and keep it kind of light
because yes, heavy conversation, just adding some balance and there's
already a lot of heaviness out there. So I'm sure
a book to escape in is something perfect for People
TV show. I recently got Peacock, which I didn't have before.
So and I'm a huge Office fan, and they have
these extended like super fan episodes with deleted scenes that
(02:41):
I had never seen before. So it was just like
this amazing little gift as an Office fan. So Stashia
and I have been going through Friends, like while I
do her hair, which through the computer, can you see
all these burns on my hand? God? So I thought
that was from your cat. No. I call these love
marks because Stashira has started to want to want her
hair to give it that like a beach wave, and
(03:04):
so I do her hair and I have yet to
not bear myself, so I need to put on gloves
or something. But anyway, these are my love marks. But
we watch Friends while we do the hair, and we're
we've made our way through it, like we just did
the finale. And she sent me a text this morning
actually saying now that we're done with Friends, can we
start the Office, And I was like, oh, yes, we can,
(03:26):
So I know. I just I love having a teenager
and being able to enjoy things together that we both like.
And then I replied back, oh, I love the Office,
and she replied back, well, then it's settled. We're watching
The Office next. I love it. Okay, So what about
a follow on Instagram? So going with the theme of entertaining,
but not like super deep, it's this girl her name
(03:46):
is not skinny, not fat on Instagram, which it has
nothing to do with like diets or anything like that.
But she's just like everything pop culture and just like
lighthearted things that don't matter. But she also lives in
New York City, which I live there for ten years,
so I love part of it too, but mainly just
like anything pop culture related, like gossip like things housewives
or The Bachelor or anything like that. Like, she's just
(04:09):
funny and very entertaining. And so what's her handle again?
Not skinny but not fat. And then what about a drink? Drink?
I guess I just go with my consistent iced tea,
like unsweetened green iced tea from Starbucks is my favorite.
But I also like make a lot of different types
of iced tea at home too. Sometimes at Starbucks, though,
you do like a little bit as stevia or something. Yeah,
(04:30):
I just get like a Stevia packet and then they're
you like a hole packet, or you like, I don't
have a packet and a Trenta that would be mine. Well,
I would say Mary is the pro at creating the
perfect unsweetened green iced tea, so sometimes that if you
go overboard on the Stevia, it tastes totally different. So
your recipe is trent to half a packet. That's really
big if you're like, maybe don't start with the trent To,
(04:52):
maybe start with the Grande and just like add your
own Stevia if you want, or some people do like lemonade,
which I think I don't love that with green iced,
but with their other ice tea it's really good. Isn't
that technically like an Arnold Palmer? Yeah, with their black
ice tea. Yeah, Okay, I love that. Those are good.
Now Mary's on because the shop for it is currently
supporting the Refuge Ranch, which is a place of rest
(05:15):
and restoration for child survivors of sex trafficking. And your
new love line is supporting the Refuge Ranch. And you know,
there's some really cute things if you happen to be
shopping for Valentine's Day that will get back to this organization.
And they're just providing so much hope and support to
girls that really really need it. So why did you
decide to work with the Refuge Ranch. Well, we wanted
(05:38):
to do a fun collection for Valentine's Day, and we
had all these ideas for cute products, but we always
try to think of something that makes most sense, like
with the collection, and they just came up right away
in my mind, because it's like things that say you
are loved or just loved. And I know that sex
trafficking is a real thing that's like really happening all
over the world, but also in our communities. And I
actually first learned about it from your sister Chris d
(06:00):
when she helped them in the past decorating some of
the cottages I think for some of the girls that
live there. So we always research a lot just to
try to let things out, and everyone had amazing things
to say about them, So I set up a call
and Yeah, I was just so impressed with everything they
do and to learn from them, and I'm also just
excited to hear your conversation with them or even more. Yeah,
(06:21):
and if you're curious about what all they do, that's
what I'll get into in my chat coming up after this,
but before you go, Mary, I would love to know
your favorite item. My favorite item is we have this
pink hoodie that says it's like has a like a
heart's happy face on the front, and then it has
you are loved on the back, repeated with a little
smiley based emoji. Two. So I've worn that way too
(06:43):
many days in a row and I think it's just
a fun sentiment to that says your love. That would
be my favorite. Yeah, I'm gonna actually have that one
up on my Instagram Radio Amy and like a like
a size fit thing because I did a photo shoot
a couple of weeks ago with some of this stuff
and h Racy took some videos showing you know how
it fits because the oversized look is right now. And
(07:06):
I ended up with the small because that's typically what's
true to size for me. But I wish I would
have kept the large. So if people wanted oversize, are
they kind of going one size or two sizes up? Yeah,
we recommend one, did too. I want two sizes up
because I wanted it really oversized, But just depending on
how you wanted to fit, I would say go up
one or two sizes for the oversized look otherwise get
your normal size. When's the last day to get in
(07:27):
time for Valentine's Day? Certain styles have already started selling out,
so I wouldn't wait too long. But we're saying February
three is the last day to order for Valentine's Day,
and so I know that the easiest way to get
there is the shop for dot com slash Love. And then, actually,
I got an email from a listener today randomly. She
obviously had no idea I had an episode coming up
(07:49):
about child trafficking, but she was sharing a book recommendation
with me, and it's from Emily in Illinois. And here's
what she wrote to all of us. You know, she
was recommending it to everyone. Have you read the book,
Open Blind Eyes. It's the story of a girl who
lives near my hometown who was sex trafficked by her
basketball coach as a young child. I know you've had
several episodes about sex traffickings, so just wanted to recommend it.
(08:12):
It comes with a strong trigger warning, but it's very
eye opening, hence the title Open Blind Eyes. And I
just thought that's a great book recommendation if you're looking
to learn more. But also a reminder and then you'll
learn more on this chat with Danielle coming up, that
it's happening, like you said, Mary, in our communities, and
it could be even yes with someone that you know
(08:34):
and someone that's supposed to be safe, like a basketball
coach or someone else. So I just wanted to share
Emily's email in case you listened to this episode and
want to do some further reading, and then you know,
before I get into my interview with Danielle. Her name
is daniel Owens and she's the president CEO of the
Refuge Ranch. But I want to just share some statistics,
(08:55):
which you know, Domestic minor sex trafficking is underreported and
an underground crime, so even the numbers that are out there,
it's likely more than what we see. And the average
age of a girl that is lured or forced into
sex trafficking is just fifteen years old. Online forms of
sex trafficking increased by more than during the pandemic, and
(09:17):
child sex trafficking is the fastest growing crime in the world.
Very I'm just thankful that you have created this line
that's going to come alongside the Refuge Ranch and support
what they're doing. Any final thoughts before I share my
chat with Danielle. No, we're just honored to support them.
And I hope everyone who bought anything from our loved
colection knows that you're directly helping these girls and what
(09:39):
you're learning about today. So these people who have gone
through like unimaginal things, you're gonna be helping them to
a place of restoration and healing through that journey. So
I hope you again. That's the shop floor dot Com
slash love and here is my talk with Danielle Owens,
who's President CEO of the Refuge Ranch. Alright, so honored
(10:09):
to be sitting across from daniel Owens on Zoom right now,
and she's coming to us from Austin and I'm in Nashville.
But are you at the Refuge Ranch headquarters? I am
actually on the Refuge Ranch. Okay, well, then this is
a perfect way for you to explain to us exactly
what the Refuge Ranch is all about, what you'll do
(10:30):
there on a daily basis. Thank you, Amy so much
for the opportunity to share. The Refuge Ranch here in
Central Texas is the largest long term residential therapeutic facility
for domestic miners who have been rescued from sex trafficking,
and so the work we do on these fifty acres
is really about rest restoration and self actualization for girls
(10:54):
who have experienced the worst. This world can offer them
things that we can't imagine as adults who came from
loving homes and environments, and you know, we're able to
choose our destination through adolescents and into adulthood. These girls
haven't had any of that benefit, and so when they
come here, we try to create a space that is
(11:17):
restorative and that can meet all of their needs. How
do they typically make their way to the refuge Our
girls come here from primarily Texas, but we have girls
from all over the country. Majority of girls come to
the Refuge Ranch from Child Protective Services, from Juvenile Justice,
(11:38):
from FBI. UM. We have a number of girls here
who were trafficked across state lines as children and so
FBI places them here for recovery. Also from national advocacy
agencies like Traffic nine one one all provide referrals here
into the Refuge Ranch for us to take over care.
Do you think there's a misconcept sin that children that
(12:01):
are trafficked must be kids that come from a home
where the parents aren't present and they're more vulnerable. Where
does it typically fall? And I guess just if you
have any stats regarding that, Yeah, absolutely so. There are
a lot of misunderstandings about minor sex trafficking UM. And
when we say minor sex trafficking, we're talking about children
(12:22):
under the age of eighteen. The youngest age that I'm
aware of any of our children here who were trafficked
was three. The average age for miners who are trafficked
is fourteen to fifteen. We think, based on media representation,
that all these children are coming from other countries, UM,
and they're being brought here to you for people to
(12:44):
make money, or the families are selling them across the
country to raise money and have a better life, And
that's just not the case. Nine of the children who
are trafficked in this country are traffic by people they
know or people they've met, and the majority are actually
American citizens. They didn't come across state lines. So this
(13:07):
is a very pervasive crime that's happening across all neighborhoods,
across all states, across alsocio economics and demographics. Their majority
tend to come from areas of poverty within the state
or the country. But we have girls who've come from everywhere.
So you do have girls that have come from loving
(13:28):
homes where you would never suspect that something like this
would happen. Absolutely, and you know some of the routes,
especially for girls coming from loving homes, you know, some
of the routes are friends who recruit them. Again, these
are people, you know, a friend's older brother who recruits them. Um.
There are lots of different avenues, and there's also an
(13:48):
intersection between drugs and minor sex because when girls are
traffic the traffickers use drugs to control them and to
keep them manageable for the types of things they have
to do. Sometimes if girls get caught up in drugs,
they get pulled into trafficking by dealers who were trying
to create other revenue streams. This is a billion dollar
(14:10):
business and it's one of the most lucrative organized crimes
in the country. I feel like I learned a lot
about this actually listening to the podcast that was done
and then later watched a documentary about Jeffrey Epstein. Absolutely,
so I would encourage people to go listen to that
just because it is a mind blowing story of someone
that was super powerful and had all the resources but
(14:34):
was able to groom and recruit. When you said recruiting,
I instantly thought of him because some of that would
be He met one girl who went to this high
school and she told her friend at school, Hey, you
want to make some money here, just like giving massages.
Like it started as something not what you would think,
but then they once they get in, it's very, very
difficult to get out. That's exactly how grooming works. And
(14:57):
for many girls. You know, I think about myself as
a teenager. You know, am I lovable? Well, they think
I'm cute. Oh my gosh, I want you know, all
of those things you go through as a normal teenage girl, um,
and all of those insecurities. And if someone who's older
and has some money and they're telling you you're beautiful
and you're special and they love you, that's how grooming works.
(15:20):
And so you know, younger girls with older boyfriends, that's
always one of the warning signs we look at for
trafficking because if the girl feels love, she feels bonded
to them, and it's not until later in the relationship
where he starts to up the auntie of what she
needs to do to prove how much she loves him,
or she needs to do to pay him back for
(15:41):
all the wonderable gifts he bestowed on her. And so
it's very insidious how the traffickers work, and they are
really good at it. I'm curious, Daniel, how the pandemic
has affected child trafficking. That's a great question. You know,
the pandemic has been very difficult for those of us
provide services. But when we think about how victims, because
(16:05):
remember their children, so they're gonna go under the radar
for most you know, systems. When we think about the
pandemic closing down schools and after school programs and places
where children would gather with loving adults that supervise them
or or trying to teach them or in part care
on them. Without those environments, they go further into the
(16:29):
shadows in terms of their victimization. This is not a
crime that is out in front of us. It's you know,
in the dark Internet. It's you know, on web pages,
it's you know, through Snapchat and money and you know,
getting money for for pictures on Snapchat. It's variety of
mechanisms and those in the best position to notice changes
(16:52):
in children, to notice that suddenly they have lots of
bling or items, or they're feeling withdrawn, or you know anything.
I think it changes those adults weren't in their life
during COVID. And so we have seen from our advocates
in this state. We have seen from child Protective Services
the numbers of reported cases going way up now that
(17:16):
children are beginning to engage with safe places again, like school,
like after school programs. So on our website we do
have some of the signs of trafficking and what you
can look for, and we really encourage our communities and
our teachers in particular, who are finally going to be
able to put their eyes on their kids again, to
(17:37):
really understand what they're looking for, because without a community
watching and with the children being really out of you
with the pandemic, the level of victimization seems to have
gone up dramatically based on the reporting that's happening. How
long is a typical stay for someone at the refuge
trench um this day here is anywhere from nine to
(17:58):
twelve months. We have girls who have stayed longer. We
find that anything under nine months, the outcomes aren't quite
as we would hope, because it's just not enough time
to really deprogram, to uncover the different traumas and to
help heal those traumas. Most of our girls have traumas
(18:19):
upon trauma upon trauma, and so it takes a long
time to unpack that and get to a level of
safety with the girl as well as healing where she
can begin to finally start creating some hope for herself
and begin to start building a life for herself. You know,
what we do is provide residential care. Why we exist
(18:43):
is to hold hope and unconditially love these girls until
they can find hope and love themselves. And that is
a really tough journey. And then once they you know,
have spent twelve months there and there has been some healing,
are they typically reunited with family or where do girls
go next? Great questions, So that's very individual to your point.
(19:06):
We have some girls who come from you know, loving
families who we actually you know, we have foster families
who adopted girls who were you know, trafficked before they
were adopted and are now dealing with all of that
trauma that helpened when they were so young. So our
hope is to work with family therapy help the girl
heal and her to be able to go back and
(19:26):
be a robust part of that healthy family. It is
hard with that kind of childhood trauma to be fully
engaged in a family unit, and so some families have
just really struggled, and so bringing healing to the girl
and to the family is really important. The vast majority
that come from systems, and so it's a case by
case with their legal team, with their child protective team.
(19:49):
If that home was a place and that community was
a place that trafficed the girl, that's not someplace we
want to have her heal and go back to um.
And so we really do work for a chur jectory
of independence and economic stability for them. If there is
an opportunity to create a safe environment upon discharge, then
(20:09):
that's what we work for. Lots of our girls come
in sixteen seventeen, so they're leading closer to eighteen, and
so we really work on what is your hope, what
is your dream? What do you want your life to
look like, and built towards that so that they are
not dependent on a community or a person who has
trafficked them in the past or put them in an
environment that was unsafe, and to that point, we had
(20:31):
a girls graduate from high school in December and they
all started college here at the Ranch online this month,
so they aren't already starting their journey towards independence from
the situations that were so unkind and victimize them. That's awesome.
Thank you for sharing that. And I know this is
on zoom and it's a podcast, so people couldn't see
the excitement, but you were talking and then when you
(20:53):
thought of those three girls that graduated and now they're
in college, like your face completely lit up and you're
definitely citty. I of goose bumps now just seeing your
reaction and response. So obviously y'all are cultivating really special
relationships with these girls and you truly do care. And
I know that y'all are a five oh one C
three And so how do you get your funding? Where
(21:14):
does it come from? And then what are your big needs?
We get our funding from a variety of sources. But
the Refuge Ranch was built by Central Texas Community debt free.
So the community understood that this is a problem that
can affect anyone anywhere at any time, and that there
were so few services for the girls, and so the
(21:34):
community came together and helped us build the Refuge Ranch.
In terms of operations, we received funding from a variety
of sources. So we do have a Governor's grant here
in Texas that provides funding for minor sex trafficking recovery
and restoration. And then we received money from private foundations,
but the bulk of our money come from concerned citizens
(21:56):
who learned about this problem, can't believe that this is
something happen thing in our country, and a deep desire
to help these girls overcome their victimization and have a
life that's all their own. Yeah, I think. Um, if
people are ever evaluating, especially since the beginning of the year,
who do you want to support this year? Maybe consider
(22:17):
the Refuge Ranch. Maybe consider searching up similar type places
in your area, if maybe you know you want to
stay close to home with your giving. I mean we
understand that for sure. I mean, Austin is where I
was born and raised, even though I live in Nashville,
and my sister's family has been involved with the Refuge Ranch.
And Mary made these sweatshirts through the shop Forward that
(22:38):
are supporting the Refuge Ranch. So whatever that looks like
for you, maybe it is just it's buying a sweatshirt
and knowing that a donation is going to go to
the refuge ranch and every time you wear it, like
you can think of these girls and say a quick
prayer for them, and you know, I can imagine that
work is heavy at times. It is I say on
a daily basis, this is the hardest work and the
(23:00):
most joyous work I've ever done. And it's hard and
enjoy us simultaneously. To really walk beside these girls on
their journey, you have to be able to stand and
hold their trauma. And their trauma can be incredibly painful.
It can be angry, it can be fighting, it can
be just any variety of behaviors that help them survive
(23:23):
and get to the point where they could be at
the refuge, and we have to be able to stand there,
allow this trauma to show itself for them to work
through it. But it's intense, and it takes incredible fortitude
and caring of spirit to be able to stand in
that space day after day and still be whole for
(23:44):
yourself and be able to offer to the girls and
to go homeful to your family. So it is incredibly
challenging work and when the girls begin to see themselves
in a way that no one ever talked to them,
in a way where they find their own value, in
a way where they can start to articulate dreams and
(24:05):
hopes that they never even could think of before. The
joy is too much. And you know, when the girl,
when the girls graduate, or when they achieve something they've
been working for, it brings you to tears with the
joy and the possibilities that these girls have inside of
them and are beginning to see. Yeah, I mean really
it is true representation of hope because I'm just sitting
(24:28):
here imagining, you know, the gift I had as my childhood.
Like sure I had certain challenges and different things, but
my childhood wasn't ripped away from me and stolen. And
I just even think of my fourteen year old daughter.
And if you're listening right now and you have a
child in your life, whether it's your own or a
niece or or nephew, this isn't exclusive to just girls,
(24:51):
but just picture them in this type of situation. And
I just want to use this time to remind people
that it could happen to anybody, could have happened to me,
could have happened to my daughter, and then that helps
make it more real because I think sometimes even I
even though I know that it's true and it happens
like I think of like the movie version of things,
(25:12):
or like you mentioned earlier, it must be from another country.
But even if it is from another country, it's still children,
and it's still children that that need support. And I
love that y'all are offering that to them and then
ultimately giving them that big story of hope. I know
(25:38):
there's something cool that happened last year when the big
snowstorm hit Austin, So I would love to hear because
I don't know this story of how how y'all survived
that and then something that was negative actually ended up
being something positive for you all. It was so for
those who you know are in Austin, we have what
we belovedly called the snow apocalypse. And so the temperatures
(26:02):
dropped down into the teens and twenties, which is not
normal around here, and and none of our facilities are
are weathered to that temperature, and we got snowed in
with ice. And so it was the second week I
had been working at the refuge, and I was living
out here so that I could meet the girls, understand
their journey, work with the staff. And we got trapped,
(26:24):
absolutely cocooned here for a week and we lost power,
so we only had power five minutes every hour. We
had water except the pump that we have the well
required electricity. So we had a whole lot of cold
and a whole lot of time and not a lot
of things to entertain us. Um so we had you know, bonfires,
(26:47):
We went roller skating in the chapel. We we did
snowball fights, m but we had no heat and we
had limited water and power. And as I was new,
I took the time. I was like, you know, girls,
come do a little process mapping with me. And they're
like what, And I said, like, let's talk about your
(27:08):
day from the moment you wake up here at the
ranch till the night when you go to bed, put
your head on the pillow and fall asleep. Let's go
through the whole day and tell me at each step
you know what's working, what's helping you feel, what's helping
you move forward, what's making you crazy and not helping
you at all? And what is it what is it
that we're missing that could really be a benefit to you,
(27:31):
and how do you feel at all of these stages?
And when we completed this exercise that we were starting
from a strong pace because all of the girls said
when they went to sleep at night, they felt safe
and peaceful here at the ranch. So job done, I
feel safe and peaceful. But how do we help them
have a transformational journey of the heart. When the girls
(27:53):
come to the ranch, their heart is well insulated from
the pains and the traumas and dignities and the way
they will monetized. And so you know, sort of falling
that out and helping them find their little light and
their joy and their voice is really the key. And
so in working with the girls, we kept going back
(28:16):
to what are the things that would help you believe
that there's hope for you? What were the things that
you need that will help you be willing to try
and test something new that might be great for you.
And what the whole process revealed was a change in
how we provided our services to the girls over this
past year. We moved it more from behaviors and you know,
(28:41):
always doing the right You know what you've been told,
if you do this, you get this to wow, if
you do this, you get this, that's normal behavior, but
how do you have a transformation of the heart and
we will be We were able to start putting pieces
in place that helped the girl first find safety and
then moved to a space of stability and exploration and
(29:04):
growth in her own self. And it's that shift that
got us to three girls graduating this fall and three
girls starting college and you know, five more behind them
on the same track. And and it transformed our ability
to deliver our love, our care, our therapy in a
way the girls could receive it, use it, and grow
(29:27):
from it. It's always attempting in these environments to provide
the services like you would want them, but we're adults
and we haven't been through what they've been through, and
so to have their voice in the whole development of
the process really transformed what we did and how we
did it. And clearly it seems to be reaching the
(29:48):
girls more fully. I think sometimes we underestimate the voice
of a child. They know and they know what's tippen
not and they'll be sure to tell us. But the
another amazing thing that happened during that week, I mean
we were just cold the whole time, is that the
girls themselves are so resilient, and they came together and
(30:11):
bonded in ways they hadn't before. And you know, we
had one girl who literally figured out how to make
enchilada's to feed the entire ranch five minutes at a time,
so she knew when the power was coming on, she'd
get everything created that she'd sit there by cook for
five minutes and then wake um. And she managed to
(30:32):
cook meals and feed the whole the whole campus for
multiple days in a row. You know, just cool stuff
like that, where you you wouldn't have had the opportunity,
nor would she to prove what she could do for
so many other people who needed her. And that experience
of you know, sharing her love language of cooking with
(30:52):
everyone else on the ranch actually catapulted her onto a
growth journey where she saw that she had value and
she knew she could do things she never imagined and
it translated to the rest of her treatment time. It's
a perfect example in such a good reminder that I mean,
not everyone's going to be in that exact situation, but
of a challenge arising and then it end up you know,
(31:14):
something that could be really like oh and frustrating, which
I'm sure it was at times, but ultimately ended up
being something awesome and it created an experience you never
would have had otherwise. If you're faced with a challenge
this year, just think of this story and know that
good can come from it. What about Valentine's Day? Since
that is approaching, I guess at least it's what like
(31:37):
two weeks away from now, And I know there's something
cool that y'all do there, and I want people to
know about it because maybe they can help out with
it this year or next year, or again searching up
places similar in their community. Because I saw that last
year y'all had all your dresses donated from other people
in the community. And I'm thinking, gosh, so many of
my listeners probably have amazing dresses in their closet that
(31:59):
they could and eight to something cool like this. Yes, well,
Valentine's Day is really special. Um. You know, the girls
live on site, um, and we have all of the
services here, so you know, how do you create a
special Valentine's Day with all of the stereotypes of what
happens in the community. And so what we do is
we have all the staff come together and we create
(32:21):
an incredible five course meal for the girls, and the
girls get to dress up in ball gowns and do
their makeup and their hair and go to what is
a fine dining experience. And for the most of the
girls who come to the refuge ranch, uh, they have
not had that experience before. So we help them out
with you know, which works, do you use? Which plates?
(32:43):
And all of us wait on them hand and foot
while they enjoy a Valentine's dinner and celebration just to
the nines and learning their social skills, but feeling really honored,
loved and special. You touched on this when you start
talking about it. I don't want you to elaborate, because
it didn't dawn on me when I was asking the
(33:03):
question that a day celebrating quote unquote love and relationships,
what a difficult subject or topic that must be for
these girls. Yes it is. And the number one group
that the girls have requested and now that they attend
is really on interpersonal skills. They do not know how
(33:25):
to meet someone and have a healthy relationship. All of
their relationships, primarily with boys, have been through their traffickers
and it's been about what are you worth and what
do you've cost, and what will you do, not about
who are you? What's important to you? How will you
honor me? How will I honor you? And so really
that shift of you know, interaction is huge, and then
(33:50):
you add teenage years and all of them everything that
goes with that, and it's a really big challenge. So
our Valentine's Day celebration is really a celebration of our
love for them, hopefully their love for themselves and their
ability to build healthy relationships for the future. And so
we're trying to teach them the skills for when they
(34:13):
leave us and have those healthy relationships so that they
can feel comfortable making small talk, meeting people. What are
the appropriate kinds of questions that start a conversation. They
are gorgeous when they come. They love it so much
and they feel really honored and special. I love that
you'll do that, and I'm sure that's just one of
the many things that y'all are doing throughout the years.
(34:36):
I feel like between yes, the different therapies you'll offer,
and then the things that you do just so that
they have childhood experiences. There are multiple ways people could
get involved if they wanted to and to learn more
and just even maybe even this is something you become
a monthly donor. I feel like small donations can really
add up. You may be like I don't know if
(34:58):
I could add anything else on to my plate, or
if I don't know, if something strikes you about this,
like I'm sure organizations such as yours, you would rather
have more people know what's going on and donating a
little of time and it really adding up than depending
on one huge donor who you know. If that donor disappears,
then what absolutely and I think for us, we want
(35:19):
to reach as many people as possible because we talked
about at the beginning of this conversation this is really
hard to wrap your head around, and the more people
who know about us can share that minor sex trafficking
is real issue in every community in this country and
can be looking out for the children in your neighborhood.
(35:40):
We love when we have lots and lots of donors
from all over the country because it's not about what
they're giving, it's about what they're learning, what they're taking
back to their own communities so that children everywhere can
be kept safe from this kind of horrific victimization. I
know we've had guests on. But I know there's resources
online or if you wanted more information, you could search
(36:01):
it up and know what to look for and how
to Like there's stories of people who literally have saved
children's lives because they notice something weird at a grocery
store or they noticed something weird in a parking lot.
But you do have to be dialed in. And that's
why even though we're fitting this in in January because
that's Human Trafficking Awareness Month, this is something we need
(36:22):
to be aware of three hundred and sixty five days
a year or so. If we continue to have these conversations,
then it stays top of mind. And that and that
you'll kind of listen to your your inner voice. If
you see something I would say, even act on it.
You know, just it can't hurt, just if something's nudging
at you. Because I have seen those stories in the
(36:42):
news where I'm like, oh, my goodness, like thank goodness
for that person that said something. I'm going to give
out your website. It's the refuge d m ST. Now,
I know that stands for something, So why don't you
tell us domestic minor sex trafficking? So domestic minor sex trafficking.
So that's what the d M s T is for,
So the Refuge d m ST dot org. And I'm
(37:06):
just super thankful for the work that y'all are doing,
offering amazing care. I know, it's trauma informed, it's holistic care.
The girls are on site, there's psychiatric services, a lot
of your experiential things, and then again just a safe place.
Thank you so much for what you'll do, Daniel, And
I know it's not easy, it's heavy stuff, but I
(37:27):
am thankful for you taking the time to talk with
us today and and all the work you do every day. Well,
thank you so much. Amy, it's been a delight talking
to you. We really appreciate your support for giving this
information out to the community. Yeah, and then I'll just
remind people when last time, you know, Mary was on earlier.
But the shop forward dot com slash Love is where
(37:49):
you can check out the entire love line and it's
supporting the Refuge ranch your If you're looking for something
to shop for Valentine's Day, I would do it now
because you want to make sure you get it in time,
or if you're trying to find a Valentine's Day gift
for a friend or a loved one or something like that.
Then shop this line because it'll be a special gift,
and when you give it to them, it's a win
(38:11):
win gift. It's a gift that keeps on giving because
you're getting them something, but you're also contributing to an
organization that is changing lives. Thank you Daniel, Thank you Amy,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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