BRIAN JOHNSON: what it’s takes to be your own hero!

Brain knows what it’s takes to be your own hero, and now he’s showing how to activate the hero within ourselves in his brand new book ARETE!
Brian’s built one of the most successful self-development platforms in the world called Heroic. It is his mission in life to help us all answer the question: “What does it mean to activate your heroic potential, and how can one achieve it?”
This convo is supercharged! Brain shares incredible insight on on how to “close the gap” from where we are to where we want to be, optimizing the Big 3—Energy, Work, and Love—and its impact on self-development, plus how can individuals build antifragile confidence through their actions.
This podcast will leave you feeling ready to be step into your heroic potential!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Caryl Lone.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
She's a queen of talking, and so you know she's
getting really not.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Afraid to feel the episode soul. Just let it flow.
No one can do We quid that Cary Lone is
sounding care Lone. I am here with Brian Johnson. Brian
Johnson has entered the chat. And I was telling you
right before we started. God must God always like lines

(00:38):
it up for me with people that I need to
talk to in the season that I really need to
talk to them, and then I hope I can have
these heartfelt conversations and everyone listening can benefit because I
think so many of us go through the same things.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
And that is why you are coming at us with
an overload from your book.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
I got that of amazing tips tips four hundred and
fifty one to be exact of incredible heroic. You get
into history, you talk about philosophers, you have all you
pull from all sorts of like real wisdom, and you
have made the ultimate book for life called Rita. Talk
to me about that, and I cannot wait to talk

(01:16):
to you about the book.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Caroline, Thank you, bless you. I'm thrilled to be here.
And yeah, RTE is the distillation of the last twenty
five years of work for me, I've spent half of
the last twenty five years as a founder and CEO
and built and sold a couple of social platforms before Facebook,
and the other time as a philosopher, a lover of wisdom,
just trying to understand what ancient wisdom modern science have

(01:39):
to say about how to live an optimal life in
the twenty first century. So the book is four hundred
and fifty one ideas to help us move from theory
to practice to mastery, not someday but today. And just
thrilled to connect and to chat about some fun ideas
from the book. And I love the fact you're going
overload on us from the beginning.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Let's go hey, And you said this, this is a
lofty goal, and I am here for it. And if
anyone can do it, it's you, Brian. I can already
tell by your energy and buy this book. You are
the one with the stamina and the bandwidth and the
mental fortitude and wisdom to do this.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
So I believe in this. But you say this, You say,
where is the quote you have? You have a dream?

Speaker 3 (02:20):
You are first fifty percent philosopher, fifty percent CEO, which
you said, and you are one hundred and one percent. See,
you give us that extra one hundred and one percent
committed to helping create a world in which fifty one percent.
So you're just tipping it over, You're tip the tipping point.
Fifty one percent of humanity is flourishing by the year
twenty fifty one. Okay, first off, that's awesome. I'm here

(02:43):
for this, but that's also so lofty.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
And how are.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
We going to get fifty one percent of the population
be flourishing? And what does flourishing mean exactly? And does
that play into RTA which I printed out your uh,
you know, like your pillars of Faith.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
For our TA.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
So do you kind of help me out with all that?

Speaker 1 (03:02):
That is such a cool frame for everything. So we
could talk about that for a weekend, Caroline. So I
got that fifty one percent of humanity flourishing by twenty
fifty one, which to recognize the fact here that's insane.
It's on one side of the.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
You're insane though, and I like it.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
I think you're you're the one who's like a good
insane and I think you're going to take us over
the edge.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
So that's great.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Here's to the crazy ones, baby, but we can remove
the qualifier. I am certainly crazy. But I got that
mission from Martin Seligman, who founded the positive psychology movement
in the year two thousand. So when he founded that
movement moving from kind of quote negative psychology, where they
were just focused on mostly how to move someone from
negative ten to negative five to zero. But he in

(03:44):
the year two thousand said yeah, yeah, yeah, but what
are human beings capable of? How do we move them
from negative ten to five to zero to five to
ten to what are we capable of? And he said
that he wanted his research team to help create a
world moonshot goal in which they're science helps create a
world in which fifty one percent of humanity is flourishing
by twenty fifty one. The first time I heard that

(04:05):
forever ago, I thought it was crazy. I still think
it's crazy. And I tattooed my body with the goal,
so you know, I got heroic here and then above it,
I have fifty one twenty fifty one. And my joke is,
you know a lot of people science says if you
write down your goals, you increase the likelihood of hitting
them by forty two percent. So my joke is most

(04:27):
people write down their goals and a post it note
and put it up on their bathroom mirror. I put
mine somewhere where I can't miss it, and I'm hoping
that that increases the likelihood of doing it. Now. We're
not going to do it alone, obviously, but our mission
is can we help you? Can we help others of
influence who are committed to living their best lives make
a difference in their families, in their schools, and their
communities and their companies. And the answer to that, of course,

(04:50):
is yes. It's what you do all day, every day.
And if more of us step up and show up
as our best selves, there's no question we can change
the world. And then that's the mission to where I've
committed my life. And that's now a long answer to
your fifty one twenty fifty one where I got it
from and all the craziness that goes with it.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Why are you devoting your life to the betterment of humanity?
Most people can't even get outside of their own little
ecosystem and their brain. Most people have so much trauma, drama,
life debris that they've gathered inherited all of it. You
know all that so many people can't get past that.

(05:30):
How have you gotten past that? And why are you
now not.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Focused on yourself?

Speaker 3 (05:37):
Because I feel like everyone is to focus on self
and like to get to the place where you're not
focused on self, and you're so far like obviously you're
focused on yourself, but it's the bigger hole of humanity.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
How did you get to that enlightenment? And why is that.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
So important to you that you tattooed on your body
that you actually need the whole world to flourish?

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Not just how did you get to that place? And
why are you there?

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Ken Caroline, give me, give me a question here in
my goodness. Uh, there's a lot of ways I can
answer that question, but the one that arises for me
is one of the last chapters in the book. So
I went to Catholic school for twelve years, you know,
and just my mom was just a devout woman. And
I remember the youngest of five kids.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I'm the youngest of five kids, youngest.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Of five, right, And I remember I'm like ten, eleven,
twelve years old, and I did sound I never did
anything wrong, right. I was that guy that was just
the golden kid or whatever. I did something like you know,
and my mom.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
You did okay, so you never did anything wrong and
then you did something to upset your mom.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Well another chat, Caroline. But you know, my father was
an alcoholic. His dad was an alcoholic who struggle with
alcohol ended his own life. And you know, I like
to say I kind of father did my father's father
ended his own life struggle with alcohol. My dad did
his best struggle with alcohol, worked really hard. So you
know that whole dynamic. I was kind of the youngest
of five and the one I was supposed to be

(07:01):
doing everything the way that it's supposed to be done.
So I did something that my mom wasn't wasn't pleased with.
And I remember her grabbing me, which she never did,
and I can remember it like it was yesterday, and
this is this is a shoot almost forty years ago. Right.
She grabs me by the shoulders and she looks me
straight in the eye, and she shakes me a little
bit and says, God gave you gifts and you must
give them to the world. And it literally that's it. Again.

(07:24):
There's a lot of other things that have influenced me, obviously,
but that like the power of that moment for me.
And in the book, I talk about that story and
I say, you know what, to the extent you're open
to us having developed a relationship in the preceding four
hundred and you know whatever it was forty five ideas,
May I reach through or someone that you admire reach

(07:44):
through and say, God gave you gifts, however you frame
up your relationship to something bigger than yourself, and we
need you to give them to the world and for
whatever reason, and again emotionally, even thinking about it, it's
important to me, you know. And this is the idea
of being a hero in our comp in his heroic
public benefit co operation. But I redefine what the word
hero means. It's an ancient Greek word, and an ancient

(08:07):
Greece hero didn't mean tough guy or killer of bad
guys or huge podcast, successful person or super Bowl champion. Obviously,
it meant protector. The word they picked for hero was protector.
And a hero has strength for two and a hero
is willing to do the hard work to have the
strength for two. And a hero's secret weapon, according to

(08:27):
ancient yeah, for you, your daughter, you and your husband,
you and your community. And the hero's secret weapon in
the ancient world was love, and so my whole thing is, man.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Sure we missed that. The vote these days, well yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Now it's it's you know, Instagram followers and championship rings,
and this is what qualifies as a hero. Now a
lot of those people are admirable off the field or whatever.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Coach Prime, oh my god, are you obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
I feel like he's bringing some goodness back into the game. Okay,
just side not go ahead.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
There's a fun shot there.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
I mean.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, So my whole thing is, Look, we're facing historically
significant challenges and we need to step up, each of us.
And you know, you're the hero we've been waiting for.
Is kind of our mantra, go look in the mirror.
You are the hero we've been waiting for. Quit looking
outside of yourself for someone to solve all of our problems.
You're the one we need. Step up, play your role

(09:24):
well and do your best. You want to show up
for yourself or your family, your community, et cetera. And
for whatever constellation of reasons, I have a fierce ambition
that I'm now unapologetically committed to embodying and expressing and
have you know, feel blessed to have the support of
a community that's excited to do some great work together.

(09:44):
But again, I'll answer to your great question.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Okay, So I've got a couple of things I want
to ask you, and I don't know.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
You can just time together however you want.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
So was your childhood was your early upbringing difficult?

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Was it hard? Were you emotional?

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Was it an emotional what were what was your emotional
state like as a child and with your mom and
within your family dynamic. Did you from that moment that
your mom said you have gifts inside of you? Did
you from that moment on get laser focused and like
were you allowed to did you feel like you were
a kid. Did you have a moment where you like
partied and or reckless or were you just.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Like on this mission? Have you been on this mission
since then?

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Because of what you've experienced, Like, I guess we can
start there.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah, I mean the original state of me as a
little boy, you know and as a young man, was
was uh scared? You know, the first grade picture of
mess is the cutest thing ever. But I've soaked through,
you know, just stucking my little shirt. You know, I
was scared of everything.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
And because of your because of your you didn't feel
safe at home with like your dad's d.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I don't know, you know, it wasn't like a conscious
There were punctuated moments of course in any family, you know,
and and especially one with the dynamics I had in
my family. But my childhood was fine. It wasn't, you know,
overly abusive per se. But I just really didn't have
a relationship with my father. And there's this obviously underlying
tension blue collar family. My dad worked in a grocery

(11:13):
store for thirty nine years. Money was tight, so there
was a lot of you know that everyday American and
blue collar stresses that one has exacerbated by alcohol and
things like that. But you know, it was a good
My mom was amazing, my dad did his best, But
my emotional state was one of fear, is how I

(11:34):
would summarize it. Which is great because now I know
what it feels like to feel that. I know what
it feels like to want to contemplate any in my
own life. I've been there, you know, I've suffered, and
I It's something that's been a really powerful part of
my work to be able to say I know exactly
what that feels like or at least in my way.
And I also know what it feels like to feel

(11:54):
what I feel now. And of course there's highs and
lows to any human experience. I would certainly never call
myself anywhere near enlightened in that way. But I can
look there, I can look here, and I can also
bread crumb what I've done to create the scaffolding, so
I have just a sustainable base. Well, I'm not worried
about those ups and downs, and that's what I'm most

(12:17):
proud of, frankly, is being able to share that with
our community and being told that we've been blessed to
help people who didn't know if they wanted to get
up another day, you know, to find meaning, to find purpose,
to be able to get stability in their lives through
the fundamentals that I preach, the eating, the moving, the sleeping,
the cognitive restructuring and finding purpose and meaning. So that

(12:39):
that upbringing and all my experiences as a young man
deeply shape me. And again, wonderful question.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
You got to the point where you contemplated ending your
own life. A lot of people get there, I mean,
especially like in this date age. I feel like suicide
rates are higher than ever. Kids are starting to play
around with that idea Flix so much, such a bigger,
so many more children at such.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
An earlier rate.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Like it's a really it's a really real issue. What
when you got to that place? What pulled you out
of it? And what what was the moment? Like the
moment you know, there's this transformative moment where you go
one of two ways. You either go all the way
down into the darkness and end it. And there's many

(13:24):
reasons and it's totally justifiable why people do that, even
though there is this better way, but it takes so
much energy and it is such.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
A rebuild of who you are and you have to
rewire everything. And it's this moment. What was that moment like?

Speaker 3 (13:40):
And how did you get out go from the absolute
darkness to where you are now?

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Like?

Speaker 2 (13:44):
What was that transformative?

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Caroline? Is is that what we're doing right now?

Speaker 2 (13:51):
You know what this podcast is called?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
I know that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
An inter at your own risk.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
I don't have time. Listen, you said you don't have
time to bs either in your book you got right
to it, so I'm.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
I'll get the real questions.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
I love it now and this is this is so important.
And I literally just got off the phone with a
friend of mine who does some stuff at a an
educational place where three kids end of their own lives
in one school. I mean, it's horrifying, it's heartbreaking. You know.
I had my challenges early twenties. So I graduated from UCLA,
I did well and all those things, but I knew

(14:32):
I didn't want to start my career where I was.
I threw up on the side of the four or
five freeway all my way home from work. Two days in.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'm like, ah, but it was rejecting it so much.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
It was so bad. Literally I pulled a RP. No,
I don't want to do that. And then I'm like, oh, cool,
I go to law school. You know, I'll get a
stamp said I'm a smart guy. I go to law school.
I throw up. Literally, I move into my apartment, I
drop out before a semester is over, and I'm spinning.
I have none of these skills. None.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
When you throw up, that's that's you saying. Your body
is literally rejecting it. And I felt that before, where
I've tried to push through so hard that like my
body takes me to my knees and I enter a
panic attacker, full body shake. So like if anyone else
has felt that, when your body is literally making you
throw up or break down, your body is speaking to you, right,
he pro.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Tip pay attention to that.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
It's a message.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
That's a sign that you might not be on the
ideal path. And it's funny. I happen to be, you know,
I'll come back to my own story. I happen to
be in a documentary called Finding Joe featuring Joseph Campbell
and the story of the modern hero's journey along with
Deepak show pro let's.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Not bring a deep Deepak show bro. He's like the
he to me is who I follow. I'm like everything,
he says.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
I'm like, so he's beautiful in the movie. He's absolutely
beautiful in the movie. And one of the reasons I
have my heroes behind me is he says, And we'll
come back to my own story. But he says, think
of your three favorite heroes, bring them to mind and
reflect on them and connect to them. Often what you
will find is you will start embodying qualities goosebumps of
your heroes. He says that in the movie, So Joseph

(16:08):
Campbell says that when you follow your bliss, and everyone's
heard this, follow your bliss, you know. Then he says,
that's a jumping off point to enlightenment, and very briefly,
and I actually I'm the guy talking about it in
the movie. In ancient Sanskrit there were three were three
jumping off points to enlightenment. Sought shit in Ananda. Sought
and shit mean beingness and consciousness ananda means bliss. Joseph

(16:34):
Campbell said, Look, if I'm honest, I have no idea
what proper being this is or consciousness, right, but my
bliss when I feel alive, that I can feel and
I have goosebumps again, I'm going to follow that. And
the ancient scriptures of India, that was a jumping off
point to enlightenment. Now I share that because the opposite
of that is you having a physical response or me

(16:55):
literally throwing up on the side of the freeway. That's
the opposite of bliss. You want to pay attention to that.
And he says, when you lose your bliss, slow down
and find it again. Makes you feel alive, you know,
don't get.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Lost in the rush of your life. And the rush
of trying to keep up with your life or whatever
you think you're supposed to be doing, or whatever programming
you have in your brain, like pay attention to how
you actually feel. Do you feel like you're throwing up,
rejecting what's happening to you or are you in bliss?
That's a huge it feels people like feel like they
have to disregard that and just put their head down

(17:28):
and you know.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Plow through. But really, your body speaks to you all
the time.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
All the time. And then again, if we go into
the suicide rates and self harm, particularly among the young
women and girls in our society, now the social dilemma,
you know, the unintended catastrophic consequences of social platforms like
Facebook and Instagram and TikTok et, cetera. So we're disconnected
from our joy and our best selves, and then we're
constantly inundating ourselves with comparison to people that are photoshopping

(17:55):
their identity, editing who they are, and we're always coming
up short. And then we feel alienated and we just
want to numb ourselves and it becomes this vicious cycle.
And this is the first objective in the book is
you've got to know the ultimate game. You got to
wake up and you got to know that society seduced
you to play the wrong game.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
What's the game we're playing, What's the game we've got
seduced into, and what's the game we're trying to play?

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Well?

Speaker 1 (18:17):
The game we've gotten seduced into playing is that you've
got to be better than your neighbor. You've got to
have more Instagram followers, you got to be hot, you
got to be famous, and you need to be wealthy.
So I'm going to measure your self worth based on
your number of Instagram followers, the square footage in your
house and the letters after your name, or whatever other
measures you have extrinsic stuff, But the science is unequivocal.

(18:37):
People who pursue that, even if they're successfully pursuing it,
are less an i quote, psychologically stable than people who
focus on intrinsic stuff. But our society tells us that's important.
The intrinsic stuff is you becoming a better person, deepening
your personal relationships, and making a contribution to your communities.
Not being a on a whatever best settler list, per se,

(19:00):
but being a good human being to your kids and
to your spouse, those are the things that make you happier.
And ancient Wisdom says the same thing. So I've got
Aristotle on my wall back there, and in the book,
I playfully say, look, ancient Wisdom, modern science, what do
they have to say about the ultimate purpose of life?
Aristotle no last name necessary, and Martin Seligman, founder of

(19:23):
the positive psychology movement, as proxies for ancient wisdom and
modern science. So I playfully say, hey, guys, what's the
meaning of life? Aristotle answers in a single word, He says,
the summum bonum is you diemonia. You diemonia is the
Greek word that literally means good soul, you daimone. Now

(19:43):
we translate it very weakly into English as happiness, but
it means something deeper. So then we go to Martin Seligman,
who say, hey, what do you think? And I say.
He winks and smiles at Aristotle and says, well, let
me show you my most recent book. His most recent
book is called flourish, which is the proper translation of

(20:04):
the word for that Aristotle use you daemonia. So the
ultimate purpose of life is to flourish, is to express
the best version of yourself in service to something bigger
than yourself. Ancient wisdom, modern science agree. When you get that,
then you unplug from all the nonsense it's stressing you out,
including the twenty four to seven news cycles, et cetterah

(20:26):
blah blah blah. The follow up question to Aristotle and
Seligment is Okay, that sounds nice and warm and fuzzy.
You d'emonia, good soul, flourishing. How how do I do it? Again?
This is the one answer to that question. So the
one word answer to the question, Aristotle says, live with rta.

(20:47):
And we translate arata as virtue or excellence, but it
has a deeper meaning. And the way I describe it
in the book to my ten year old son is look,
and to everyone is look. If you're capable of being
this in any given moment and you're actually being this,
and there's a gap between who you could have been
and who you were actually being in that gap in
the moment. In that gap is where regret, anxiety, disillusionment,

(21:10):
depression exists. If you close the gap and you live
with RTA and you've expressed the best version of yourself
moment to moments moment you put your phone down and
you connect to your kid instead of looking at Instagram
one more time. You do the little things well. In
that moment you live with RTA, you experience yourd aemonia.
Right then, you don't need to wait. And I say,

(21:31):
and I tattooed my other forearm with RTA, So I've
got RTA and I've got heroic. The moment you live
with RITA and you express the best version of yourself,
you are heroic. You don't need to wait, you don't
need to impress anybody. You feel great. And again, this
is the whole book, four hundred and fifty one ideas
to help you do that more and more consistently, never perfectly.

(21:53):
And you get me fired out. Let's go, let's get real.
We can go back to the end the dark spots.
But that's it.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
So I have a couple questions.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
First off, it's like, oh, I just yesterday failed so
hard at living with RTA, and like I have been trying.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
So I mean, I'm gonna cry. I cry all the time.
I cry at least like three times a day.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
But I'm like, I have been trying so hard to
like clean up my life and get an alignment and
get rid of all my debris. I've done so much therapy,
so much work, life, coach, self help, Like I literally
started this podcast years ago to talk to experts to
gain wisdom. Like I'm constantly trying to improve and learn,
and I do the hard work.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
I'm not scared of it.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
But I'm just like, man, then when you like fail,
you know, and you like do something that causes you shame.
I haven't had one of those moments in so long,
and like I let someone go who's been on helping me,
and I just didn't do it correctly at all, Like
I came at it without the my heart didn't come
at it. It wasn't It was just I failed, and it's

(22:59):
out there and I already did it, and I like,
I said the wrong words in the wrong way and
I just because I didn't know what I was doing
and I didn't handle it correctly, and I sense apologize
and stuff, but I'm like, oh.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Like, oh I feel shame.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
Oh why did I make such a big Why did
I do something so wrong? How did I get it
so wrong? And I ended up hurting someone when I
could have done it a different way If I would
have had closed my gap and had the RT, but
like I didn't even know how to close the gap.
In that moment, I thought I was doing the best thing,
and then in retrospect it was totally the wrong thing.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
But I'm like, those moments take.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
Me to my knees and I'm like, cause, you're trying
so hard to do all this good work and then
you do something so bad in retrospect but not intentionally,
and it's like, I've just been in a shame cycle
for like two days.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
So I'm like, oh, oh, bless you, and we've all
been there, and I'm like, I don't need to way
two days. I can go back yesterday. I'm like, really,
I really just say that to my six year old
when she was yelling like is that helping the cause? No,
I'm pretty sure it's not.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Right to live an RT all the time. I mean,
that's another thing. This is to be so good and
up all the time.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
But here, here's the deal, and so objective one is
you got to know the ultimate game, right, And I
talked through well, okay, let's frame it up intellectually and
practically right, But objective too is you got to it's
called forge anti fragile confidence. And the first chapter in
that section is rule number one. Rule number one of
the Ultimate Game is it's supposed to be hard, So

(24:27):
we're seduced by society to play the wrong game. Then
we're taught it's supposed to be easy. And if you
fail the way that you just did yesterday, that I
do every day, multiple times a day, you cry three
times a day. I do too often, and I screw
up countless times. There's a joke in my family that
Abraham Masmo says there are no perfect human beings, So
I emphasize this throughout my work.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
He says, You're I'm like, I don't deserve to be
a leader because I can't even lead correctly.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
And I hurt this person.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
And what if they go home and they it messes
their mind for the rest of their life, and I'm
that mark on their on their life journey log that
Caroline Hobby, that girl at that moment, she's at the
moment that I had that change.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
And what if they go bad and don't come out
of it.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
What if I was that you know well and you
may have been, and then we can talk more about
It's called damage repair, which is one of the chapters
in the book. A dear friend of mine who's one
of my favorite teachers, Dan Siegel, a leading neuroscientist Harvard
MD psychiatrist parenting expert, gave me the permission to be
imperfect when he told a story about him parenting his

(25:29):
kids and he would flip the lid, his prefrontal cortex
would go offline, limbic system would just yell at his kids,
and it was crazy right. Well, good, because I do
that too, and now I've got permission. Common humanity is
how Kristin Neff, the leading researcher on the science of
self compassion and the toxicity of Shane, She tells us,
you got to know three things. Number One, You're not alone.

(25:50):
So when I was a little kid and I was
scared of everything, I thought it was just me. I
thought that everybody was okay but me. Everybody was confident,
but me, I'm the nerdy what elstra day kid that
nobody wants to hang out with. Oh shoot, okay, cool,
something's wrong with men. I'm scared of everything. And then
I learned no, no, no. The greatest performers in history feel
the same things I feel before I do something, But

(26:11):
they know how to work with that energy. They don't
try to get rid of it, They work with its,
understand the energy. So yesterday, you're telling yourself, if I
may be so bold, that sometimes inherently wrong with you.
Nothing's inherently wrong with you. It's not you, it's you're
not experiencing what you're experiencing because you're you. You're experiencing

(26:32):
it because you're human. And the more you try to lead,
the more you will experience those things.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
I just myself or how I handle it, because I
know that I know I got you.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
So then what I would do is so I would
go back to Dan Siegel, and what I do with
my kids is something he calls damage repair. And then
you want to get really good at allowing yourself to
make mistakes, and then you want to learn from it.
You want to look back and say, what could I
have done differently? Because anytime we fall short, which we
will all the time, don't waste that data. Go back
through it and look at it and say, all right,

(27:05):
it was right here that I became For me, I
can be a jerk, So right there, I was too intense,
and I could have done this. I could have taken
a breath and I could have said this instead of
that goosebumps. But now I'm not repeating the horrible moment.
I'm going back to the moment and seeing how I
can do it better next time. Then I go to

(27:25):
the individual and I say I'm sorry, and I repair it,
and I let him know that I'm the one who's
screwed up there and I'm so sorry, and I hope
this doesn't scar you because it may scar me. And
we use the opportunity to deepen our relationship. And my
beloved coach is Phil Stutts, who's in a documentary called
Stats with Jonah Hill. I've worked with him four hundred times.

(27:49):
We've done four hundred one on one sessions over the
last almost eight years. He says, those glitches, those things
you don't want to happen, are the absolute best things
because they give you an opportunity to grow. So you
got to take what he calls the turds of life
and use them for fuel. And then it's just practice.
It's how you get good at anything. You got to
go back through it and get another repin. But I mean,

(28:12):
it's exciting for me to imagine you having that conversation
now and when I come to fill with things like this,
he gets excited. He's like, awesome, finally we got something
to work with. What are we going to do? And
then you use the thing that makes you want to
go on to bed and pull the covers over your head,
or if you're in a really bad spot, do some
of the things we were talking about before and self

(28:34):
harm and really negative thoughts. And instead we can embrace
the fact that it's supposed to be hard, and then
now we got an opportunity to practice our philosophy and
get a little bit stronger. We can talk about some
other ways that I do that practically, but I love it. Yeah,
but all the people we admire they've failed more than anybody.
They've tried harder, they've failed more than most people have tried.

(28:57):
And when we embrace that, you know, okay, we have
the freedom to grow, and then you can quit wasting time.
And again, frankly, a little bit of shame is appropriate
because we don't want to continue the patterns. But then
to go back to Kristin or Brene Brown or fill
in the blank on the brilliant teacher in this domain
common humanity. It's not just you and then treat yourself

(29:19):
like you would a beloved friend or your kid in
your enlightened moments, and then be mindful of when you're
spinning out into shame. Those are the three steps for
self compassion. No, you're not alone. Everyone experiences it. Two,
be nice to yourself, notice the self taught shape it.
And three notice when you're spinning out and see if
you can go from a week to a few days,

(29:41):
to a day to a few hours to x minutes
and then take action. Then say, and you know this
from the book targeted thinking, So what do you want?
So you want to be a noble leader? You want
to repair your relationship with your dear friend. This person
helped you. They wouldn't have been on your team unless
it was a fit at one point. So we want
to you pair of that relationship. You want them to

(30:02):
feel stronger than they've ever felt. You want to you know,
own your shortcomings there, and you want to become a
better leader. Perfect do Let's get clear on that, and
then we take all the energy we were wasting and
shaming ourselves. We get clear on that target, and then
we ask ourselves, what do you need to do? So
what's the next thing? You need to do.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
It's probably call them your intuition. Tell you is that
how you know the next thing? You just kind of
feel it?

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Well, we go back to you absolutely. I mean, this
is Mel Robbins comes to mind. So Mel Robbins, you know,
I love her five second rule. You don't always know,
but we pretty much do if you saw it down
long enough. And she says, look, when you know what
the right thing to do is, you got to take action.
And she has account five four three two one go

(30:46):
and she playfully says, wait, wait, wait, wait, give me
a minute while I overthink it, you know, and then
you overthink it and then you're like, oh whatever, a
day went by, two days went by, three days? But
why And then you can't figure out what you feel bad?
And the reason is you didn't do what you knew
you could do. You could have closed the gap. You
could have lived with RT.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Oh yeah, so okay, so this is a good thing.
You can live with RTA even when you did your shortcoming.
You can have our RT.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
To make it right, Like no, yes, right, like you can't.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
This is it.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
That's they are never totally.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
Screwed, like even at your worst moment of opposite RT
you can do what you know you need to do
to get back up and close the gap.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
And then the irony here is that those are actually
the moments that give you the best opportunity to grow
the most when you approach them right. And that's a
really powerful point. And what you just said I've tried
to explain over the years, and I haven't done it
as well as you just said, which is those moments
when we fall short, the next moment is the opportunity
to close the gap, because there's always an opportunity to

(31:50):
close the gap. And then literally the more you let
yourself down, the greater the opportunity to rebound. And this
is what we call anti fragile, where you're not fragile,
you're not resilient, you're anti fragile. The more you get
kicked around, the stronger you get. And there's a lot
we can talk about on that. But then you develop confidence.

(32:12):
The word confidence means intense trust CONFIDERI intense trust in
what in things going perfectly? No, of course, not intense
trust in yourself to handle whatever life gives you. But
then I say in the book and in my work,
how do you build trust in a relationship. So if
you want to build trust in a relationship, what do
you need to do? What's your what's your gut?

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Well, you need to have a little consistency.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
You just summed it up there, you go, Okay. The
way I frame it up is you need to do
what you say you will do.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
So if I didn't show up today for our chat,
would you trust me? No?

Speaker 3 (32:50):
Should trust you in a category of I still might
trust your advice, but I would think you're just.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
Yeah, yeah, you just too much going on, you know
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah, and that's poite. You wouldn't trust I wouldn't trust you.
If I may, I give you one shot and then
we do it again. Something came up, right. But if
you want to trust yourself, if you want to have
confidence in the deepest sense, you need to do what
you say you will do. So if you say you're
going to meditate, if you say you're going to eat
a certain way, if you say you're going to hang
out with your kids without a phone, and you don't

(33:25):
do those things even though you know you want to
do them and you said you would do them, you
shouldn't trust yourself. You shouldn't have confidence. But stated positively.
If you do do those things more and more consistently,
especially when you don't feel like it, you completely change
your life. And that's what I'm most proud of. In
the book, we call it forging anti fragile confidence, and

(33:45):
the way Phil Stutz framed it for me was he
calls an emotional stamina. He says, the worse you feel,
the more committed you need to be to your protocol.
The worse you feel, the more committed you are. Now
that begs the question, what's your protocol?

Speaker 2 (34:00):
What is the protocol?

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Okay, the protocol is and I define this as well
in my work. The protocol is what you do when
you're at your best. So you have had moments in
which you are at your best, energy, work, and love wise,
which we call the big three. So we help you
get clarity on well, what were you doing because you
were doing certain things and you weren't doing other things.
All of us have those moments of us on our best,

(34:23):
So we want to get clarity on a protocol. And
I compare it to a pilot flying a plane. So
you would never get on a plane with a pilot
who didn't have a checklist. Surgeons who have a checklist
kill forty percent less people than those who don't. So
my question for you is, do you have a checklist
of the important things? Not the you know whatever things,

(34:46):
but who you are at your best? How are you
going to spend time with your kids? How are you
going to move your body? What you do at your best?
Your protocol? Do you know what that is? Most of
us haven't spent the time. And it's not because we
don't have the time. It's because we're wasting the time
doing nonsense stuff that's stresses this out as we talk
talked about. But anyway, you get clarity on your protocol.
And then here's the trip. When you get knocked down

(35:07):
by life. When you experience what you experienced yesterday, and
I experienced what I experienced yesterday, what do you do?
Do you open a bottle of something, do you numb
yourself and binge watching? Or do you say, oh wait, wait,
wait wait, I feel horrible right now. That means that
I really better take care of my eating, my moving,
my sleeping, my breathing, my focusing. I'm going to dominate

(35:28):
my fundamentals like I never have.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Oh, it's been making it worse.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Okay, you make it better and then.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
Add to the problem because when you feel bad, you're like, oh,
I just want to, like literally exactly, do all that
eat Reese's pieces.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Then you do that, Then you do that, and then
again that's where the self loathing comes in. That's where
the erosion of self trust comes in, and then you start.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Beating yourself up.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
You get in that cycle, that shame cycle where you
just loop it, loop it, loop it.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, it's a vicious cycle, and we can turn that
into a virtuous cycle.

Speaker 3 (35:56):
Really compounds the energy, and this is what people always
talk about with no minimum, the momentum and what you
think about becomes your reality. So if you get in
that bad spot and then you compound the energy by
just doing more things to make you feel bad, it's
going to be so much harder to get out. So
you're saying, you're in the bad spot, now do all
the things that make you feel the best so you
can start getting out of it faster.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
It's life changing. I mean literally, that's a.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
Mental switch though, that's a mindset rewiring.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah, and again it's it's easier to say than to do.
I'm not going to pretend that that's an easy thing
to do. But but even one percent, three percent, four
percent better is life changing, totally life changing. And again
I get goosebumps. I say that too, like that's anti
fragile confidence, and uh, that's what I've learned. So to

(36:46):
go back to the Hey, you at your darkest points,
I didn't know any of this stuff. And so what
I teach people everyone, I mean, we have blessed to
serve people at the very highest levels and we take
them to the next, next, next, next level because you
and I we still have room to work. Everybody has
room to work. And then those who are having a
tough time getting out of bed, same same exact principles apply,

(37:11):
and we can systematically build the structures such that we
create that meaning, we create the purpose, we create the
self trust. And it's a beautiful thing, you know, to
see and to be blessed to be part of these
kinds of conversations. Yeah, I'm loving our chat. By the way,
I really appreciate you getting real fast and uh helping

(37:34):
some really powerful things.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
It's because I have these questions inside of me. These
If I didn't have this podcast, I don't know what
I would do with my mind. I think I would
be certifiably crazy because I have so many hard questions
that I like struggle with and baffle with all the time.
And that's why, like I love what you are doing.

(37:56):
Is it's like, if you want to get.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
In shape, you follow a protocol of an exercise plan.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
You've got to have consistency with it. If you want
to eat healthy, you've got to follow a protocol if
you want. But the thing is with the mind that
I think we're kind of getting into a new spot
with which I like, I feel like the mental health
world has just sort of like opened up and can
mainstream not that long ago, and then there's like this
influx of self help books and all. It's like fad diets.

(38:22):
Everybody has a new self help technique. There's all this stuff,
Like it's like literally like everyone's writing a book. Everyone's
telling you this is how you do it. It's all
kind of different but all kind of the same. This
is so great because this is just like absolute protocol,
like in steps, like someone doesn't even have to necessarily
it's like the one day at a time thing.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
It's like someone doesn't even necessarily.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
Have to believe fully in themselves if they just read
this book and start applying these things to their life,
the work will.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
Happen for them.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
I've learned that with like yoga, Like whenever I love yoga,
And it's like when I took a break off for
like two years and I was like, oh my god,
I know it's going to be like a month and
a half of pure misery.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
We're just gonna have to show up, do the moves,
and then eventually.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
It's going to click over and it's going to be
something I love and feel and appreciate and all the
higher wonderful things come from it. But in the beginning,
you just got to follow the protocol and do it,
and then it clicks in. And I feel like that's
what this book is. And I like this because and
this is what you have so many testimonials from like
high power people saying the same thing.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
You base this on so much. It's not just a
feeling or a thought. This is like.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Absolute wisdom and like ancient wisdom too. And you've put
it into a step type thing with all and you
gave give us four hundred and fifty one because you're
like in the beginning, You're like, I'm gonna give you
an overload, so you will find something that works, right, Like,
tell me kind of if that man any sense what
I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
That's the hope. Yeah, and again, I've spent a long
time studying this stuff. So I created something called Philosopher's Notes,
in which I distilled over six hundred now of the
best books ancient ways to money.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Have you been looking for happiness?

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Have you been?

Speaker 2 (40:04):
And you've been really looking for happiness, haven't you?

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah? And flourishing. I mean then, and you know, the younger,
the younger of me was greatness. So let's not pretend
that I was invited. I mean, the younger of me
was like, look, I want to I want to be
that guy. I want everything. I just said, Yeah, society
seduced us. I was fully seduced. Yeah, yeah, I call
it a greatness at the time. You know, I want
to be that guy that's doing this and this and this,
some of which was virtuous and noble, much of which was,

(40:30):
you know, just conforming to the normal societal standards. But
I have, for whatever reason, you know, just and we're
alike in this regard, unquestionably, just just had a hunger,
you know, just to fear strive to understand how to
optimize my life, but it's also always been to help
others do the same. You know, I never wasn't able
to help my dad, he passed away seventeen years ago.

(40:51):
My brother had the same challenges I wasn't able to help.
So I've just, again Goosebump's been really hungry to be
able to figure it out, to audel it, and to
try to be a demonstration of these ideas in my own,
you know, idiosyncratic ways, and then figure out how to
systematically help people. So we have ancient wisdom, but we
have modern science, and we've done a lot of research

(41:12):
on our protocols. So we train coaches. We have ten
thousand people that have gone through our coach program from
one hundred countries. You know. One of them's the New
York Yankees hitting coach, another one is the mental Toughness
coach for the Angels. Another it's just really cool people,
and then there's just you know, the person that's coaching
at their company or life coaching, et cetera. But we

(41:33):
worked with Sony Leebamirski, a leading researcher in the field,
and she said in thirty five years she'd never seen
results as powerful as what we created over a three
hundred day program, and it's because it's ancient wisdom, modern
science and common sense. Nothing we've talked about today is like,
oh my god, I can't go Wow, we all know it,
but we got to move from common sense to common practice.

(41:56):
So our whole thing is you got to go from
theory to practice and then you will achieve mastery. But
it's your consistency. It's to showing up, making today the
day to give your best. And but yeah, that's the
idea is I've been obsessed, you know about what does
everyone say. I've tried to do my best to study it,

(42:17):
to embody it, and then to teach it. And we've
been blessed to be able to help you know, people
across the spectrum. But that's it, you know, and then
to try to make it easy and palatable and just
uh ultimately practical, like people need to feel the power
of this, you know, and that that a simple idea

(42:38):
can what do we change your life? You know? Jim
Row and Tony Robbins's mentor. He says, you know, sometimes
in life, it's like you're approaching a combination law and
you think you don't have any of it figured out,
but you might just need the last number. And if
you just got the last number, click, everything would open
and goosebumps again. That that's how I see the book
is can I give you a bunch of different angles,

(43:00):
maybe one of them, or two of them, or ten
of them, or even one hundred of them could help
you make a little distinction. But when you aggregate and
then compound those over an extended period of time, you
change your life. And that that's the ultimate intention of
the book is to activate. The reason why it's four
hundred and fifty one ideas is if you want to

(43:20):
make a fire, or you want to boil water, you
have to hit an activation energy point. So if you
want to boil water, nothing happens at one hundred and
fifty degrees or two hundred degrees or even two hundred
and ten degrees. You have to hit two twelve fahrenheit.
You boil water, one thing becomes another thing. In making
a fire, you're, you know, trying to create fire. You

(43:42):
need to get to four hundred and fifty one degrees.
But the moment you do that, you activate a different
state of being. So that's why we have four hundred
and fifty one ideas is, look, can we as we
work together over these ideas get you activated where you
know you now have what it takes to show up
powerfully in life, never perfectly. I want to emphasize that again,

(44:04):
no one will ever figure it all out, which is
one of the other rules from Phil Stuts that I share.
Rule number one is it's supposed to be hard. Rule
number two it's always going to be hard. We all
want to get to a point where we're exonerated, is
how Phil puts it, where we no longer need to
experience pain, uncertainty, and hard work. And he says, and
I say, that is one of the greatest threats to

(44:25):
your well being. The story you're telling yourself that you
should have already figured it out, that you if you
were a good leader, Caroline, you wouldn't have these glitches,
you wouldn't have the pain, the uncertainty, the hard work,
the failures, etc. But again, you know that that's not true.
But we tell ourselves the story that something must be
wrong with us. But when we realize it's hard and
it's always going to be hard. Yet we, like the

(44:48):
individual trying to summit Mount Everest, don't need to complain
about the weather anymore. You don't go try to summit
Mount Everest and complain about the storm that rolls in.
You kind of sort of know that when signed up
for that, there's gonna be a few storms. You may
not even make it to the summit, but you're gonna
do your best. Life is like that, and this is
what you know. We're trying to teach people. And again

(45:09):
that's why it's called hero. Supposed to be hard, but
you have it within you to show up and give
us all you got and more importantly, we need you to.
So let's go. Is we like to say today one,
what are you waiting for?

Speaker 2 (45:22):
So you are like a match for society?

Speaker 3 (45:26):
Like you're just like you're just like the match and
you just you're sparking it off with everyone that you meet,
because you know, you have done enough work, You've lived
through enough things, You've done enough studying, You've elevated enough,
You've deep dived into the whole concept of what is
life and why we're here?

Speaker 2 (45:41):
What's the game?

Speaker 3 (45:42):
You've studied it like you're a master at your studyings
of all this. You have realized that the only way
for people to have joy and to thrive is to
get to this RTA state of being where you are
being your best and highest version all the time in
any situation. And you are realizing that society has not

(46:05):
been taught this, that this is not is what is
programmed into us.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
People get stuck in these loops.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
You talk a lot about mind, the voice in our head,
you call it part X and like closing the gap
and all that with the RTA, but it's like we
have not been taught this, that we are controlled in
our mind by like we have a programming that's happening
to us, and that we don't have to follow that programming.
And so you are like one of those people who
comes into a time and they are here to show

(46:35):
you another way, to show you the way, and yes
there isn't it's the way is love.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
The way is being your highest and best self.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
And so you are on a spiritual mission to raise
the consciousness of the world. And that's a huge, huge calling.
I mean, that's a very huge calling. And you have
like put so many things in place to let this
message be heard and seen, and I know this is
so much much bigger than you, Like you are called
to share this on a large level. Why what is

(47:05):
going to happen when people wake up and we get
the fifty one percent of the population understanding this new
this real way of thinking, how we really are supposed
to live, how you really have control over your mind.
And like you said in the beginning of your book,
with your son Emerson, Emerson's the son, right, yeah, great, Yeah,

(47:25):
He's playing chess and like he doesn't want to play go,
he like is obsessed with it. And then he doesn't
want to go to his like competition that he's been
so excited about and working so hard for, because now
all the sudden.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
He's scary is going to lose, and he gets in
this loop of you know.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Performance and trying to be perfect and all that, and
it's like when but then you have this conversation with him,
teaching him aout voice in his head really the game
of life for trying to play the RTA all this
the whole book.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
You have that in this conversation with your son.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
When the consciousness, the collective consciousness of fifty one percent,
which is your goal, reaches this understanding of RITA and
starts living by it, what going to happen in our world?

Speaker 1 (48:03):
But here, here, we go. So it's funny because as
much as I'm committed to that big, big, you know,
a twenty five year goal, there's only one person I
care about, and that's right now, you and whoever is
listening to this. So I actually don't think in the
abstract societal level much. I think of one person. Can
I help one person? And the person I want to
help right now is you and whoever's listening to this.

(48:24):
And that's my obsession. And in the book I talk about, hey,
here are some of my favorite heroes. You know, I
got them on my wall back here, this person, this person.
But you know who my all time favorite hero is
and then you know, go look in the mirror. It's you.
And so that's all I care about is can we
and I mean we, me and you and others who
have been blessed to be in a role that you know,
a hero when they're on a quest, they get a guide.

(48:47):
Harry Potter got Dumbledore, you know, and then he got buddies,
Hermione and Ron you can fill in the blank. On
any hero story, they get a guide, they get buddies.
So I feel blessed and honored and humbled to be
in that role for people in our community, and then
I want to be worthy of that. But at the
end of the day, I want to train heroes who
become guides who can then help people in their community.

(49:08):
And that's mathematically how we will change the world. But
my obsession is on the individual, and if we can
take care of that and do it at scale, we'll
change the world. But then the frame work is and
I briefly shared the two objectives but really quickly. Objective
one is you've got to and this is how the
book is architected. Objective one, you've got to know the
ultimate game that we discussed. Objective two four janti fragile confidence.

(49:32):
Know it's supposed to be hard, get stronger with every
challenge you face. And then Objective three is you got
to simplify life. I used to get over, you know,
by trying to do everything right, and we say no, no, no.
A good life comes down to three things. Energy, work,
and love. Get your energy optimized, show up more productively,
and be more connected. Boom, we help you do that.
Objective three is optimize what we call your big three.

(49:55):
Objective four is you got to make today a masterpiece.
Don't wait until next year. Don't set New Year's resolutions
and forget about it. We talk about New Days Resolutions,
which is our entire heroic app which we didn't talk about,
but that's important. Make today the day right, So that's
objective four. Objective five is you got to master yourself.

(50:17):
So we talk about the you know, art and science
of behavioral change. In one of the early chapters, as
you know is I played laser tag with my kid.
I missed the training for it. I didn't know how
to shoot the laser tag gun and I sucked right.
And BJ Fogg, the leading thinker on behavioral change, says,
it's not a character flaw. Nothing's wrong with you. It's

(50:39):
a design flaw. You don't know how to play the
game well yet. And when you learn the art and
science of behavioral change, these things become a lot easier.
That's objective five. Master yourself. Objective six is dominate the fundamentals.
And this, by the way, is how I have scaffolding
in my life that I know I will never fall
into the depths of despair because I figured.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Out, Okay, you built yourself matter.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
It's the fundamentals. It's eating, moving, sleeping, breathing, and focusing
my mind. And we don't have time to go into
the depth of it, but I do a little bit
in the book. Your physiology drives more of your psychology
than you know. If you're sick, overweight, and you're dealing
with chronic disease and other things that you know are
related to if not driven by your nutrition, your lack

(51:23):
of movement, your lack of sleep, there's no they're literally
good luck getting your mind right. You got to start
with your body. So I talk about that a lot, eating, moving, sleeping, breathing, focusing,
and then the final objective. When you do those things,
you activate what I call your superpower. And so each
of us has this latent potential within us, and all
of our heroes manifest it in their own idiosyncratic ways.

(51:46):
You have it in your style. I have a bit
of it in my style. Each of us has it.
And the trick is, can we more consistently express the
best version of ourselves by closing the gap? And that's
kind of how the book systematically builds up to it.
And yeah, but again back to your the frame of
your question, it's the individual that will that will change

(52:09):
the world, and it's not abstract it's you listening to
this or watching this right now. You're the one we're
waiting for. And that's my obsession in life is to
figure out how I can help each individual show up,
not someday but today.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
I love that. I love it so much. Rita. That's
your book. It's coming out really soon. When's it coming out?
When is it coming out? It's like coming out November fourteen. No, okay.
You also have all sorts of programs people can be involved.
The Heroic program. Just tell me about that a little
bit where people can find it.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Yeah, we've got I don't know if I can share this,
but we've got something called Heroic, which is kind of
the primary business Heroic Public Benefit Corporation. We have an
app that we built with the same company that built
slack tender, Uber Eats, and Elon Musk's Neuralink that helps
you do all the things we just talked about. So
we help you get clarity on your basic protocol. We

(53:03):
help you set clear targets for who you're going to
be at your best. We call them identities and then
virtues and then targets. And research has shown that that
app will help you be more energized and productive and connected.
So yeah, that's your.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
Daily check in, right, it's kind of like your daily
like motivator, like having like a life coach right by
your side all the time, just kind of giving you.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
You're like our chief marketing officer. No exactly, Yes, that's
kind of that ready at hand right there.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
You know, like when you hit your pull up the
hero gap and you're gonna be like, Okay, okay, here's
my protoco.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
I'm gonna get I'm gonna do this and I can
get out of it.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Gets like your it's like your best positive friend, right,
who's gonna pull you out of the slab or keep
you moving forward?

Speaker 1 (53:46):
Yeah, And then we've got a social platform with people
who are interested and interested in this dialogue connecting with
one another. So it's our answer to the social dilemma,
a virtues based Hey, look, let's let's have this conversation.
Let's get real outside of the toxicity of all the
other social platforms, connecting with people whose values aligned with ours,
helping them connect offline to meet people who share our values.

(54:10):
So that's the social training platform. You combine the two things,
and then you can we think fundamentally and permanently change
your life.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Awesome, so great.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Other than that, I should get fired up.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
I mean, this is so great, it's so important. I'm
so inspired by what you're trying to do. I'm so
impressed with your bandwidth and energy to do all this stuff.
Like when I talk to people like you, I talk
to a lot of amazing people, but like every now
and then, someone like you comes along with this, just
like huge bandwidth to have all this energy to do things,

(54:43):
and I'm so inspired by it because like you are
truly maximizing.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
Every bit of your potential.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
And thank you for sharing that with us and channeling
it into such a way that can help us as
a collective. It's such a gift and a blessing, and
thank you for doing the hard work and sharing it
with us. I always up with leave your Light, and
it's basically, what do you want people to know?

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Thank you? First, before I answered that, I just appreciate
you really really enjoyed our conversation, and yeah, I mean
that was just a beautiful conversation. So thank you for
giving me an opportunity to share so much and so broad. Yeah,
it's what we've talked about a number of times. The
number one thing I want people to know, is you're
the hero we've been waiting for. Quick looking outside yourself,
you are the hero we've been waiting for, and yeah

(55:34):
we need you. Let's go.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
Okay, just my last little question because I just want
to know, like your dream when we just when we
hit this spot, I keep coming back to twenty fifty one,
when people have elevated and woken up and like we are,
so many of us are living in RT and it's
a great experience.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
What is going to be the world. What's going to
be different? Like what's the lead? Like what is it
going to feel like? That's different to now?

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Wow, Well, I look at the what I see a
pandemic levels of you know, we're not just recovering from COVID.
We have pandemic levels of anxiety, depression, obesity, cancer, diabetes,
political polarization, environmental degradation, et cetera. So I see a
world in which each of us is stepping up again
in our own idiosyncratic ways, because everybody's got a different calling,

(56:19):
and my challenge is to make help you step up.
But when we each do that, and enough of us
do it, then I believe we literally solve those in
many cases, existential crises. So you have a world in
which there isn't the it's insane, the stats on anxiety
and depression and cancer and diabetes, et cetera, all of

(56:42):
which are lifestyle related, all of which can be solved
with each of us doing the hard work and then
leading others in our respective domains. We have partnerships with
the special forces operators in the military. We have partnerships
with people in the corporate role. We have partnerships with
sports teams and organizations, we have partnerships with schools. Each
of us does this, then those chronic pandemic levels of

(57:06):
suffering will be mitigated. Now it's not ever going to
go away, obviously, and again even the fifty one percent
that's crazy. I want to be your eyes right open
on that.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
I'm your point.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Yeah, but that's what I see. I see a world
in which we're able to meet, rise up together and
meet each of those challenges. And and now's the time.
I mean again, I'm not a sky's falling kind of guy.
But if if now isn't the time to wake up,
and then what is right? Like uh, and again we're

(57:36):
waiting for someone else to do the work. That's the
thing I'll keep on trying to come back to quit
waiting for anyone but you to step up and do
your best. You're the hero of your own story and
the one we've been waiting for. I mean, we really
get that, and then we step Look my life, my
life may suck, I may have made some poor choices. Perfect,
let's go, let's work with that, and let's just do

(57:57):
the hard work over an extended period of time. But
I see world in which we're flourishing, you know, and
by definition, the definition of that is we are more
consistently experiencing that deep joy and meaning and engagement, and
as a byproduct, all a lot of those current societal
challenges are met head on and hopefully significantly reduced. That's

(58:19):
what I see.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
I love it. I love it so much.

Speaker 3 (58:22):
I think this is such a great interview, and I
love that you are literally just you want to change
the normal baseline for a lifestyle. You want the lifestyle
standard to change, and you want it to become healthier,
and you want people to thrive, and you want to
showcase that like what the baseline was for a lifestyle
and normal is really supposed to be here, and you
want to implement the method and show people how to

(58:43):
do it and get enough people living with the benefits
of that. So then if we can take care of
ourselves all, if everyone can take care of their own
individual self and their own individual world, that rises everyone
as a whole.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
I love that is right? Did I say that correctly?

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Ish? Yeah, I'm going to take these Yeah, let's go.
That's perfect.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
It's so great, it's so important, and I'm so glad
we have this conversation. And I also just want to
say one more time because this really hit me today.
For everyone listening, when you fail or you're in shame
or you did something it makes you feel lucky inside.
That is a great opportunity to have our ta and realize, Okay,
what is the highest best thing I can do in
this situation instead of wallering like you're saying, in that

(59:27):
disgusting feeling, figure out the steps to get you to
your highest and best and this book shows you how
to do that. But also it's just you know it
within yourself too. You're activating what we already know, the
hero within ourselves.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Right, beautiful, Yes.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
I love it. This is awesome. Thank you so much.
Everyone grabbed this book Rite, it's coming out. It's literally the.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Guidebook you need for your life. And just follow it
and just follow the steps and we're all gonna be kind.
Thank you so much, Brian Jonathan, thank you, Caroline.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
Appreciate you. Bie,