I sat down with This Is Us star Chrissy Metz and Nashville songwriter Bradley Collins to talk about their new children’s book, When I Talk to God, I Talk About Feelings. We talked about the power of faith, the importance of self-love, and why helping kids express their emotions early on matters so much. Chrissy and Bradley shared how they had to learn to express themselves as adults because they weren’t taught how as kids—and how that inspired this book. Chrissy also reflected on her time on This Is Us and how being part of such an emotional, beloved show shaped her perspective on empathy, healing, and using your voice.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A carry Lene. She's a queen of talking if you
want so, you know, she's getting really not afraid to
feel the episode and soul. Just let it flow. No
(00:20):
one can do weque Black cary Lne it's time for Caroline.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, this is a treat to have Chrissy Metz and
Bradley Collins joining me.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
And I don't know if I remember this, but y'all
had been on before and we talked.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
We talked about your first book, which was when I
talked to God and talk about you, with the album
that a company that prayed for you prayed for this day.
And I have to say, I have a five year
old daughter and I played that album for her all
the time, and we read the book, and that Lullaby
album is so beautiful because it's just was like a
(01:02):
It was a companion to the book.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
And the book just is so thoughtful and.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Kind, and it brings God back into the center point
and just lets people know that they're loved, and kids
known that they're loved just for being themselves.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And you're back with another book.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
When I talk to God, I talk about feelings and
this book makes me cry because I've always had big
feelings my whole entire life, Like even as an adult,
I'm forty one years old and I'm still I mean,
I literally have tears of mind because I was reading
this book of life.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I don't think the generation above us knew how to
express themselves like we do.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
You know, do you agree with that?
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Yeah? I mean my mom particularly, she would always say
like she was taught that kids were seen and not heard.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Like literally she said she was taught that.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yes, yeah, what does that even mean? Because I feel
that yeah? Yeah, how would you break that down? As
like growing up in that kind of mentality.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Right, well, you don't feel heard or seem unimportant. And
then you're like, oh wait, so if I'm in a
working relationship, platonic relationship, romantic relationship, how do I not communicate?
Like if you can't communicate how you feel, you can't
communicate your needs, how do you have how they relationships?
So yeah, it's definitely a ripple effect, yeah, and it's unfortunate.
(02:27):
So hopefully we're turning the tide you know where I
feel like our generation is and I feel like that's
our hope, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So I feel that because I mean I shout out
to my parents They're great. They did the best they could.
They didn't even know what therapy was. It wasn't even
like a term people use back then. And I feel
like now for me, I have just been in therapy
for as long as I can remember, trying to get
a grasp with my feelings because I have identified that
(02:55):
I'm a high functioning.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Codependent.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I have been in a turn people pleaseer my whole life,
and I literally just talk about like not knowing my voice,
being able to speak up, like even though and Bradley,
I've known you a long time, like I've been out
of about the music industry, be blopping around, you know,
acting confident, living my best life.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
But under meath it all, I literally had just huge,
deep feelings.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
That I was struggling as an adult identifying. And so
the fact that you guys are starting writing these books
and like teaching them to children, it is just so
huge and I just see the progress that we were
making and to have people like you guys who have
a platform and who have like Bradly, you're so incredible
at writing songs and Chrissy, you've used your talents with
(03:46):
acting and music and these books, and it's like I
just think it's so powerful that we're sending this message
to our children, because I'm like, I have this five
year old daughter, and literally I had a freaking life
crisis when I turned thirty eight, was two years old,
and I was like, if I don't get my shit
together and like figure out what's going up and on
(04:06):
in my head, like I cannot pass that on to her,
you know, but you have to heal yourself first.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Yeah, absolutely, And you know, growing up in the music
business like I did, you know, and like meeting you
through music industry, it's you're You're taught to suppress your feelings,
even as an adult. I remember when I was at
b and my my old boss told me that I
wore my emotions too much on my sleeve and that
people knew too much about what I was thinking and
(04:33):
what I was feeling. And I told them, I was like,
I'm a creative. Music affects me very deeply. I very
much feel songs, and if I didn't, then I'd be
an accountant, you know, I'd be an accountant. I'd be
doing anything else other than music. And then you're taught
to not express yourself when bad things happen, just take
(04:56):
it on the chin and move forward.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
So and why we taught that because honestly, it doesn't
go away, you know, like it just gets locked in
your body, in that freezing feeling. Like I've been doing
a lot of healing lately, where like I'm trying to
push like go back and like remember feelings that maybe
were traumatic that I had locked inside.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Because whenever we're told to suppress our feelings.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
They don't go away.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You just get stuck in that like in since pain,
and then you just lock it up in your body
and then you try to act like it didn't happen,
but it doesn't process, you know.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Yeah, I'm just living with it, especially in the music
industry where you're taught to be nice to everybody no
matter what they say. Do you just keep just keep going.
And that's not that's not healthy. You just keep pushing
it down, pushing it down, pushing it down. And I
see so many friends unfortunately that it comes back up
a lot worse. And you know, lost a good friend
(05:49):
a little while while ago because he didn't talk.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
He didn't, I know, he didn't.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
He didn't come out and say what was going on
with him, even though everyone thought his life was perfect.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
And he was the nicest, happiest guy.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Successful, success, everything else.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, yeah, literally because we talking about feelings, and literally
it comes back to this, and it's talking about feelings
is the scariest thing we can do.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I feel like.
Speaker 6 (06:14):
It's vulnerable, that you're vulnerable to your core when you
say what you're feeling and what you're struggling.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
With, because what can happen?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
You could tell someone that you feel like the feelings
you'll talk about in this book are so great, the
main feelings happy.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Even talking about that, I love how you paint a picture.
There's a scenario.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
There's like a little scene that's happening ahead of time,
and like you read about it and it's like it
puts this feeling up where it's like the happy one.
The little animals are playing with each other by the
creek and they're like you're dancing around and singing and
you can just tell that they're just enjoy.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
And it's like, oh, that's what happy is.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And then after it says, when I think about I'm
not saying exactly right, but when I think about happy,
this is what it's like.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Kind of, but you go.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Through the feelings where it's like happy, sad, frustrated, nervous,
scared to brave, And it's because it's so, it's what
are the consequences of not telling our feelings? We all
know the consequences because we're adults now and we have
lived with the consequences of not sharing our feelings, and
we see it, like you're saying, Rale that we see
it in our adult friends. And I think that that's
(07:15):
why there's like this fire burning in us to like
get our kids to know the consequences of not sharing
your feelings and to be brave enough to like start
learning how to do it at a young age. So
it's not like this giant thing we have to tackle
as an adult, you know. And like, like I said,
I've known therapy for twenty years to try to figure
this out.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
So I just incredible.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
You feelings aren't something to hide or to fix, you know, yourself.
They're supposed to be talked about, talked about openly, and
hopefully the payoff is that you know, kids feel a
little more seen if they can talk about their feelings,
and hopefully parents will use this book and feel a
little better equipped to talk to children about feelings. And
you know even how feelings affect them, So that's, you know,
(08:02):
hopefully that's the payoff of this totally.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Yeah. I mean, I think when we suppress and stifle
our feelings, that's creating disease in our body. And I
think that's where a lot of disease comes from. And
just on a cellular level, it's like we have to
do it in order to stay healthy, like mentally, emotionally,
and physically. It's all connected. And I feel like, you know,
(08:26):
I taught preschool. I have a very big family and
preschool yeah back in Florida.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yeah, I guess you did.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
Yeah, And you know, so much of any of the
communication was always about like, this is how I'm feeling,
this is this is what I'm going through. And even
if they couldn't name the feeling, they were trying to
express it. So we're trying to name the feeling, express it,
and then feel honored and communicating that. And I think
that that is so important in treating the soil in
(08:55):
the way that kids will walk through the world as adults.
So we can't like pre empt the really tragic events
that happen when people are adults and have been suppressing
their feelings of their lives. So it's you know, obviously
a simplified, very big, complex issue, and we've simplified it
into this really beautiful children's book picture book to like
(09:17):
just sort of plant the seed in that soil and
hopefully change sort of the way that children see themselves
and see relationships and their feelings. So yeah, I'm really excited.
I feel like now's the time. I think it's very
timely in many ways. So yeah, I'm hoping that it
makes an impact in what our intention was behind it
(09:40):
is conveyed for sure, I think too.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Just teaching kids like at such a young age, just
to even know how to talk about it, you know,
like you were saying, be seen, not heard, Like I
didn't even know how to have these kind of conversations.
So what are you even to say, is how would
you even know how to even bring this up?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
You have to be guided into it, you know.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Well, yeah, you're like, I know, I hurt my knee
because I fell, But do we talk about being embarrassed
because you fell in front of your friends, you know,
or whatever? So it's you always funnel down the feelings.
But of course, if you don't know, if you don't
know you don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
So Christy, you said the last book tour and releasing
that album was super healing for you.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
What was the healing? What? What did you heal with
this specially like, what was that that went on inside?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Yeah? I mean as a child, like I was a
middle child of five.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
A middle child of five, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So you were really just like in the middle of
it all, hanging on for dear life.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Like Chrissy, who like what That's how it felt. I'm
not saying it was that was my perception, but my
perceptions of my reality, and so it was difficult. I
didn't really feel seen or heard. And that, of course
obviously ushered into my adulthood and the way that I
would walk through any room or an audition room or
a relationship whatever. And I as we were writing the
(11:02):
book and the music, and I was like, oh, like,
I'm finally getting to say the things that I never
got to say, either to my parent or to a
loved one, or never heard from a loved one or
a parent. And not to say our parents didn't do
the best they could, because if they knew better, they
would do better. But being able to hear that and
(11:22):
then knowing I'm putting that energy into the universe was
just very very cathartic for me. Even if I listen
to the music now, I'm like, oh my gosh, Like,
no matter what I think, it's my favorite song on
that album.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I love that song.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
And it was do you know that song randomly would
just come on and start playing on my phone, like
I am not kidding, Like I was on a walk
with my daughter the other day and we were just
like in the middle of a like a dried up
river and it just started playing, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
God, God, are you talking to me?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yes, yes, right now, Okay.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
I believe that stuff too. Those messages and those things
happen for a reason, and we need to be reminded that,
like we are loved no matter what, no matter how
much money we make, if we ever never become successful,
if we don't continue to be successful, like just as
we are, we are loved like no matter what. So yeah, yeah,
(12:24):
always in my feelings.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
About it is that and not to talk about this
is us because I'm sure you're like, so everyone wants
to talk about it. But that show was a big
impact show, like you know, like it really hit everybody
in the freaking corps. I remember the first time I
saw it, I was like, WHOA. I did not expect
to feel this way about a TV family. It made
us all feel seen and hurt, which kind of goes
back into the feelings is what is it like to
(12:49):
be a part of something like that? And is it
just like is that just like a little special spot
in your heart forever or is it like hard to
like move on to something else, because like that is
like that's a once in a lifetime moment.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Once in a lifetime, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Like all the people that came together, the magic of it.
It's just like I justel like you can't like that's
just it.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Yeah, yeah that. There was a woman who accosted me
in the driveway and she was like, hey, like my
daughter told me that you live here, and I couldn't
believe it. But I just want to let you know
that if you never book another job, like it doesn't matter,
because it isn't. And I was like, you know what,
You're actually.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Right, it doesn't matter. You have already done the holy
Grail of life.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And it's like but it's not even like it's like
this mountaintop and everything's down from here, it's.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Like, holy cow, you got it. You got the golden Egg.
You know, like no one gets the Golden Egg.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Well, I mean we do, and we did, and that
was what's so special. It's like, because it may, it
meant and it was meant to make such an impact
that it did, it will live with me forever, and
of course it has a special place in my heart.
Of course I've done multiple projects since and just finished
a movie in Cape Town, But like it will always
(14:02):
hold such a special place for so many reasons, and
you know, provide cool opportunities, but also I still get
to talk to random strangers about how they feel and
what comes up for them when they watch the show.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And so yeah, it's like one of those shows like
Friends or like Seinfeld or like you know that are
just like it's just they just go into that catalog
of it's like these are the greatest shows that have
ever been made, and it's just so cool. What do
(14:38):
you think You said that it holds a special spot
for so many reasons.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
What are some of the biggest reasons.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Well, not only the friendships that I mean, what I
learned about myself, what I learned about acting, what I
was taught by the other actors, the camaraderie that we have,
like the confidence building, the understanding of who I am,
and how how Kate informed me and I informed her,
(15:03):
and then also just the way that impacted the world.
You know, like people that I never thought I would
have anything in common with and we end up talking
and you know, just sharing stories and it's I mean literally,
I'm in Cape townam in Nigeria and like people watch
the show. I'm like, wait, what, Like you got to
(15:23):
be kidding me? So yeah, in every single way and
every single way was changed by it.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Do you feel I feel like this?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
And this goes for YouTube, Bradley, because I mean you're
around the magic of song all the time as well.
It's like you can show up every day and you
can go to an audition, or you can write a song,
or you can even have like a freaking awesome situation
where you're like, maybe you have two of the greatest,
Maybe have an artist it's you, Bradley. Maybe you have
like there's an artist right happening, or you know, or
(15:53):
it feels like so promising, or you have such a
promising audition, but it's like that's not the thing that happens,
it's this other thing that comes in through the back
door that like you could never have planned for, and
then it gets this momentum and this magic behind it.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
That you can't force.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
And it's just like that is you just have to
like show up and be there to receive it when
it happens.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Like do you feel that way about this industry?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Like do you feel like a lot of things that
happen you aren't the ones you're necessarily seeking out that
it just you have to believe in magic with it.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
Absolutely, it's just repetition. You have to write all the
time as much as you can. You know, I never
cancel rights show up because you never know what's going
to happen or who else is going to walk in
the room that day. And you know, I chase down
the ideas I love, and I chase down the ideas
that other people love, and hopefully we land on something
that months from now will be released. Found out I'm
(16:45):
getting a cut yesterday on an artist. Yeah, yeah, exciting,
and it's something that I'd never thought that would be recorded.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Right, Yeah, it's the ones that you didn't even think
anything ese.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
It's the one that in the room and I was like, Okay,
let's let's let's do this. This artist really wants to
write this, let's do it. And then the other song
that I thought was really great, he's not gonna record.
So you just never know. You never know. So it's
showing up and kind of talking about feelings, you know,
curbing your feelings and a lot of your ego just
to go in and say, hey, I'm here to write
(17:20):
the best song I can today. No matter however it
comes out, I know part of me is.
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Going to be in there hopefully is good enough to
get out.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
You know, totally. Ego does play a big part. Why
is ego important? And how do we listen to ego?
And how do we.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Say ego with some top in the passenger seat like
I appreciate you, but no you know.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
Well, yeah, I feel like in writing, especially you, you
put yourself second, you know, and you're you're there to
write for me. I'm there to write for the artist
that day, whatever it is they're wanting to say. One
of the first questions I ask is what's next for you?
What you working towards, what's the next thing for you?
So that that doesn't you.
Speaker 7 (18:04):
Know, I don't hold onto ideas and make them.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
My precious little little babies. I just try to see
what's best for the artists and move forward with what
they want to say, because I don't. I don't have
the desire to get out on a stage and perform.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
But you do have a desire to speak your feelings
because obviously you pour your truth into it.
Speaker 7 (18:25):
Absolutely.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Yeah, you think.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
That's why you became a songwriter, is to get your
feelings out.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
Yes, I have deep feelings.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
I got referenced with my boss earlier who said that
I was too emotional. You know, writing has helped out
a lot.
Speaker 7 (18:39):
Writing is the best therapy for me.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Did you express your kid your feelings as a kid?
Speaker 7 (18:45):
I did?
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I did my kind of similar to Chrissy's background. We
were taught manners and to be nice and seen not heard,
and that we'll talk about it when we get home,
and didn't always happen.
Speaker 7 (18:58):
We talked about it when we got home.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
So a lot of this this book for me when
I reference you know, feelings aren't somebody to hide or
to fix yourself. I was to fix her myself. I
hid them myself, and last few years I've been having
to dig it up and see what was there and
what I had suppressed and worked towards. You know, we
(19:23):
talk a lot about like inner child work, you know,
and that happened a lot on the first book and
even more on this book, about you know, the little Bradley,
the little Chrissy, the little Caroline, Like what do they need?
What do they need to hear? And what did they
not get as a child that they need? Now I
know that that has really helped me out a lot,
(19:44):
just kind of digging deep and feeling out what I
didn't hear and what I needed.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
What did you need and what didn't you hear?
Speaker 7 (19:52):
I heard a lot.
Speaker 6 (19:54):
I grew up in a home two wonderful parents who
were not wonderful together. From the first time I spent
the night at a friend's house and I saw their
parents eating dinner together. I thought, Wow, that's weird. They're
in the same room eating dinner together, They're sleeping in
the same bedroom. What is going on here? And then
I realized, Okay, my home is not bad, not bad
(20:17):
by any means, but also it wasn't a place where
you could really model for future relationships. And a lot
of that work for me has come around, you know,
what is it that is right and wrong?
Speaker 7 (20:30):
And what is.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
A good way to be there for somebody else?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh, because you're having to come up with your own meter,
because you're saying, like what you said is your parents
were great, but like it's like you had a model
of like what's a healthy relationship per se necessarily it's
not like you had a bad one.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
But it's not like you had the one you want
to follow.
Speaker 6 (20:50):
No, No, it's the one that I would would have
followed would not be a path to healthy relationship.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
It's identifying that even I identifying that we have these
patterns that are ingrained in us because we're just born
into it.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
If you don't examine it, you don't even know. You
just repeat, you know, And I feel.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like something of us do repeat because we don't looking
into this.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Is hard work.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Oh it's not pretty.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
It's not pretty.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
It's not pretty, it's not fun. It's not something you
really want to talk about with your friends. You talk
about it with a therapist and whoever you are.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
There's some shame involved with it.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Why is that?
Speaker 6 (21:30):
But why are we embarrassed? Why are we embarrassed and
ashamed of where we came from?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I was always embarrassed that when someone actually got to
know me, they're going to see that there was nothing there,
that there was like nothing special. And that's been like
my biggest quest is like, and I don't know if
I do think a lot of people feel this way,
but I put it on a lot of fronts, and
like we try to get a lot of facades going
on here to make it appear that like there was
(21:56):
I didn't want anyone to ever get too close to
because I'm like, oh, if they get in there and
they really get access, they're going to see like, oh, no,
this is there's this is not good.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
You know, we all we all come from some kind
of background like that. It's not just you or me.
Everybody comes from a background where we're trying to kind
of hide what we're doing. And that suppression is what
really gets us in trouble because I found that if
you're vulnerable and you say where you're coming from and
to kind of explain your behavior a little bit, it's
(22:27):
a lot easier for someone to understand then you're distant
or disinterested, you know, that's the that's the that's the
hardest thing to do, just being fully there.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Yeah, well I think it really wells down to everything
that we do is because we want to beanked, because
we want to be loved, So we put up for sides.
We act like we're different people. We aren't honest, because
if we are and we confront that honesty and the
person doesn't agree, then they're going to go running and
they're not going to stick around. They're not going to
choose you. They're not going to love you, and ultimately
(22:59):
that's what we want. It's like, choose me as I
am good than the ugly, and the people who are
men to choose you will choose you good, bad and ugly,
and the people who aren't don't belong in your life anyway.
But it's like the fear that comes with if I
really show you who I am, will you still love me?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (23:20):
We still love me.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
That's a big, gnarly fear.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
It's so scary.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
It's so scary.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
I think it's probably the scariest thing to authentically be
yourself and put yourself out there and fingers crossed it
like you'll be loved for it, and then not take
it personally if the person doesn't, if it's like not
the right thing. So yeah, it's definitely a process, and
it's hard because we come with all of the conditioning
(23:47):
from our.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Childhood, conditioning, our origin story.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
That is not no fault of our own I mean
it's like, yes, of course we play a part in it,
but like who where were born? The circumstances were born to,
the dynamics were born to, the you know, the traumas
were born into. It's like all that, like it sets
the tone for your life and you don't even realize
that it's not you. You know, like because when you're young,
you feel like you are your whole circumstance and it's
(24:13):
all you, and it's like detaching from that as you
get order, you're like, oh my god, yes this is
what I was born into and these things happened to me,
but that is not me. And that is just like
that realization that we are not our circumstances or in
our environments. That is such a big one to learn though,
I mean that has taken me my entire lifetime to
be able to grasp that.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You know.
Speaker 6 (24:34):
Yeah, these like as children, we're told to be brave,
be quiet, be strong, but this book hopefully tells children
to be to be real, to be honest, to be themselves.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
To be frustrated, to be sad.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
You know, when we were younger, it's like if you
started to cry and be like oh no, no, no, no,
don't cry, But it's like cry cry you had.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
A bad day, Like that is awful. That would hurt
my feelings too.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And I've finally learned with my daughter, I don't have
to make it better for her like she can have.
And I just learned this because I've been high functioning
codependent with her personal and because I don't want her
to have a bad day.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I don't want her to doubt herself worth.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I don't want her to feel bad about herself, and
so I'm trying so hard not to ever let her
have these feelings. And I had on this podcast. I
learned so much on this podcast. I had a child
and like expert, come on here, and she's like, no.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
If she has a bad day, if she got left
out at school, it's like two girls are being mean
to her.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Let her have it and don't fix it, you know,
just be there with her and let her feel it.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Like you're talking on these books.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Like feel sad, feel left out, feel you know, insecure,
But no, I'm here with you and it's not true,
but you.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Feel that way. Okay, feel it all the way through
because you're never gonna not feel these feelings. They're gonna
come up your whole life.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Yeah, the point of the point is to just say
I'm here for you, I love you, and tell me
how you feel. And it really will both bolster the
confidence to like communicate that effectively moving you know, and
it's so important to be able to vocalize how you're
feeling because when you do suppress those feelings, I mean,
(26:17):
like like we've said since the beginning, like they will
find a way out.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
They will find a way out.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
It might not be great, it might not be the
way that you want them to, and it's it can
be really unfortunate. And so just sort of imparting that
with you know, faith and saying like you know what,
like God's here to also hear you, and you can
tell him anything. There's something too big, too small, no
(26:43):
feeling that you know, Like that for me is like
no matter what, Like I pray all day, every day, no.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Matter what, all day every day. Literally, I'm like, tell
me your prayer schedule, tell me your schedule.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Literally, I'm like in the morning, like I will not
get out of bed before I have like a gratitude prayer.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
And what do you say?
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Oh, I'm like, thank you God that I woke up.
Thank you God for that I can see that I
am able to walk, that I can go to the
bathroom on my own, Things that we just take for
granted in a way that like you know, we just
get up and we were hustling, we're on with our day.
I always find at least ten things to be grateful for.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
So you start your day with gratitude, I have to.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
Like I have to. If I if I don't, or
if there's like you know, I'm rushed awake with a
phone call or whatever, I'm like, I'm definitely discomboval for
the day. Like, it doesn't. It doesn't bode well for me.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
You're right, And it's like a it's like a it's
a it's a chain of events. So if you start
your day off without that gratitude to anchor you in.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Then immediately you're in the chaos without the anchor.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Yeah, and then you set up your day for what
you want your day to look like. And so you know,
if you're in gratitude, you're going to be grateful all
day if you're like in despair, not to say you
can't have the food those feelings about it, but if
you're in despair, if you're disappointed, it's really hard to
shake that. I mean, it's important to feel it, but
it's hard to shake that. So gratitude for me is
(28:05):
really helpful. But like, literally, before I do an interview,
an audition, a phone call, I'm like, God, be with me,
Like help me to be open hearted and open minded,
and help me to remove my ego to listen to
you know, like just be the conduit, Just be the
person that you want me to be. Like, it's it's
(28:26):
so hard. The ego is you know, obviously it was
necessary when the saber tooth tiger is chasing us in
the jungle.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
You know.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Now it's a little hard to grapple with, but it's
it's real and it is to protect you. But it's
also it can be detrimental. So yeah, I mean for me,
I'm just I'm such a work in progress that I'm like,
if it's working, I'm not I'm gonna keep working it,
you know. So that for prayer, for me, it's just
that collective consciousness to my higher power to God that
(28:54):
like you're with me, I'm with you, You're omnipresent, You're
in everything always.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
So did you start operating from gratitude like that? And
how did everything change?
Speaker 5 (29:04):
I think it was probably like I mean, like off
and I'm growing up for sure, but probably after this
is us.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
And just.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Like knowing what I came through to get to where
I was, I'm like, this has to be gone, Like
what else could it be? And if I'm not honoring
him and I'm not grateful to him, not only is
it incredible that the more grateful you are, the more
you receive.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
That is so true, And people don't realize that if
they're not in the practice.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Yeah, isn't it wild? Like yeah, it's almost like how
can what are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Like magic can happen?
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Yeah, it really really can. It really can. And yeah.
So I've just I found it to be so advantageous
that I was like, well, I can't stop now. So
I think consistently for probably eight years now.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, And you said something earlier and I just relate
to this, and I think there's another piece to it
that you.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Mentioned a lot.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Even your first book was about this the title your
first book says this, which is this is me loving
the person you are today, loving the person you are today,
because we're saying we hope that people love us.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
That's ultimately the goal. You know. All these things that
we do are in hopes that people love us.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
But the kicker that I have finally realized, it's like
the Alchemists, the Journey of the Alchemists, and it's like, finally,
finally you realize, Oh, I've gone on all of this
journey and all of these trials and tribulations and all
these highs and these lows and these experiences, and I've
rewired my entire existence and I've been in search of
this treasure, in pursuit of.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
This goal that I thought I was after. But really
the treasure.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Is now that I love myself and I see myself
because we want to be seen in love. But that
really doesn't happen until you see and love yourself. And
I feel like you have that revelation, Chrissy, and like
you read this book about it too, which is amazing.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Well it is also you know, it's not linear.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Healing is not no no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
You can have a great day and then next day
you're freaking back in the gutter and you're.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
Like, wait a second, I thought it was like okay
from that, And for me, like, yes, learning to love
yourself for who you are like because if you don't,
you can't get to the person that you want to
be or you're destined to be. But also the craziest
part is that like once you start to love yourself
for truly who you are, good, bad and different, and
(31:36):
you're like you don't even care what other people think anymore, right, right,
And you're like, wait a second, I don't what all
(31:58):
this for?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
What?
Speaker 5 (31:59):
And now? Well, yeah, it's just so.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Because you know you're valuable because and that's what I
feel like it took me forever to realize, is like
I'm valuable if I love me.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
I don't care if you don't love me.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And like, because I know I'm showing up every day
as the best version that I possibly can, I put
in the work. I'm gonna mess up, but like I
know I am bringing the best I can. And if
I can look in the mirror and say like I
love you and I'm proud of who you are and
who you're becoming, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks,
and any opportunity that's missed or whatever, because it's like
what you're saying earlier, if it's made for me, it.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Will come to me. I don't have to go hunt
it down.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
It will chase you down.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
And it will You say that with such confidence. How
do you know that?
Speaker 5 (32:41):
Because it happens every single time I think I'm never
going to get another job, I'm never here. I go
what's going to happen now in my life? And an
opportunity always arises and I just goes back to me
like surrendering and trusting in God and his plan for
me because I don't know. I don't know best. If
I oh, gosh, I don't know best, I certainly don't.
(33:04):
And that's surrender in trust, in knowing that, hey, what's
gonna happen is gonna happen. And I'm of course stay ready,
so you don't have to get ready, you know, but
at the same time.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Being stay ready that's so key. Stay ready, just be
ready for it. Stay ready.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
For me, personally, it's you know, whether I'm in an
acting class, or I'm taking voice lessons, or I'm singing
every day, or I'm being creative. I'm writing or developing
a show or whatever it is that like okay, like
I'm still honing those skills. It's like you expect to
run a marathon, but you've never gone and put your
shoes on. You're like, oh, probably not going to be
(33:46):
the not gonna have a great time in this marathon.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Saving your knife sharpen.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Yeah exactly, absolutely so and whatever that looks like, because
everybody's just different.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
But yeah, just being like okay for the opportunity when
it comes.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
Yes, yeah, exactly, and.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Believing it's going to come because you're ready and because
you know you have something to contribute and offer and
you know that your soul is wanting to give in
that way and.
Speaker 5 (34:12):
From a place of humility. For me is always quintessential,
Like it's not because I'm like I'm better than so
and so are I know. In fact, it's like maybe
people need to know that, like I don't ever figured
it out, and maybe I don't have it all together
and I'm just a regular girl, like just have a
different kind of job and hopefully you can relate to that,
(34:34):
you know, And also so many people's stories get to
be told that way and need to be told. You know,
the working mom who like doesn't doesn't ever feel like
she's appreciated, you know, any of those things. That every
story needs to be told and deserves to be told.
So no matter what it.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Is agreed agreed, why is that? Why is it? Why?
You too rightly like, why does every story need to
be told? Why do we need to tell our stories?
Speaker 6 (35:06):
Because it's who we are, where we came from.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
You know.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
I remember when I was working at BMI for forever,
I'd want to know where somebody was coming from and
what their what their motivation was to be a singer
or a songwriter or an industry person.
Speaker 7 (35:20):
Whatever it was, because you could really get.
Speaker 6 (35:23):
To know somebody better that way, knowing what their what
their passion is. And I realized the ones that I
connected to were the ones that I saw myself and
them the most. I could look at them and say, Okay,
they have this fire inside of them that they want.
Speaker 7 (35:38):
To do more than what they're doing right now. You know.
Speaker 6 (35:42):
I remember one of my favorite artists that I worked
with was an insurance adjuster and I was like, well,
tell me about that, and he just didn't really say much.
And then I talked about writing, and his passion for
that was just so much more through the roof that
I knew that this guy was going to do something. Now,
I never knew if they what they were going to do,
but I knew that they had something more in them
(36:02):
than what they were currently pursuing.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
So tell me they're going to get it. You knew
they had the hunger to get it.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
Yeah, And it's I worked with so many people that
got to be a little obvious about who who had
it and who who didn't, and who needed more help
and who needed to be left alone.
Speaker 7 (36:18):
You know.
Speaker 6 (36:20):
Like I remember when I first met met Michael, I
was like, this guy, he's he's got it. He's this
is what he's going to do, no matter what happens.
He's going to be your writer.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
And guess what, Riley, we have done the no matter
what happens, right, because we have seen it all.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
We're like, we went the full deluxe pack package.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
We experienced every possible scenario that can happen, the good
in the bag, the ugly like you were talking about earlier, Christy,
let's take that ride good.
Speaker 6 (36:42):
Yeah, I mean and and and having a partner like yourself,
I'm sure it just helps him and and you and
advice versa. I'm such a fan of him too, you know.
And it's it's it's not easy.
Speaker 7 (36:54):
It's not your path, I mean.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
No, and I look at it is, especially in any
kind of creative industry. There's not one success, one way
of success, and there's not one way to fail. Everyone's
story is completely unique and different, no matter where they
are or where.
Speaker 7 (37:14):
They end up.
Speaker 6 (37:15):
And that's something that I keep coming back to. It's
just because it hasn't happened yet, it doesn't mean it's
not going to happen.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
All your circumstances and scenarios have to line up to
make the perfect moment. And ultimately this is all about
us learning our lessons, our life lessons anyway. And so
it's like you can't get something before you're ready for it.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
You know, no, because you're not going to appreciate it,
or it's not going to have the lesson that you
need to have. You know that might not actually be
your lesson. I feel like we have so many lessons
to learn that I'm learning something every day about what
I need to work on and what I need to
do to be a better person or better better friend
or whatever to anyone else around me, because it's constantly changing,
(37:58):
and I really look at the people that are closest
to me and what they're going through and how I
can either help or learn or improve myself. It's constantly
constantly changing.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
I kind of have an idea for y'all's third book,
not that y'all don't already have one, but.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
You're saying to do it.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Christy, when you're saying you're mantras that you start off
and gratitude in your mantras, it's like, so y'all talk
about how like the first one is when I talk
to God, I talk about you, It's like, you know,
that deep love. And then this one's about identifying feelings.
The next one could be like putting in place, like
some structure that helps you, you know, stay on track,
like the mantras, like how you wake up in the morning,
(38:38):
and like how you say your little mantras, like you know,
because mantras are really important to like learn those. As
a kid, I try to go through mantras with my
daughter at night, like I am brave, I'm strong, I'm confident,
you know, but like I just feel like I don't know.
Speaker 5 (38:53):
Well, yeah, I mean we become I mean we're creatures
of habits. So if you can create a good positive
have it, it will it will only benefit you. And
even if you like I don't see it happening, it's
not gonna happen. And then one day you're in a
particular situation and you're like, you know what, I am brave,
Like I can do this, Yeah I can. I can't
(39:14):
do this, and you do it, and you're like, I know,
I know I was brave, you know, Like, so you
put it into practice, and it's if we've been conditioned
in a negative way, we can condition a positive way.
So I believe mantras are wonderful, awesome. I mean, you
hear people. I mean a mantra. You can say I
love you, Like that's a mantra to someone, and you
(39:37):
can say it to yourself, of course, but like it,
you know, for somebody who didn't ever really feel loved,
and you hear that, you're like, I don't know, I
don't know if I believe you. And then people continue
to show you and then you're like, okay, you do
love me, and I am loved. Like that is a mantra,
Like that is something that you then get to to live,
you know, and it's not just words, you know.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
And do you believe it?
Speaker 5 (40:01):
So yeah, I'm all about the marts too.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
For sure. So what is our hope with this book?
When I talk to God, I talk about feelings. What
do you hope that when kids are read this book
or read this book?
Speaker 5 (40:12):
What is your hope Bradly, you want me taking away?
Speaker 7 (40:16):
Sure?
Speaker 6 (40:16):
I mean the hope is that a child knows I
believe I said this earlier, is you know that feelings
aren't something to hide or fix themselves. It's something to
be talked about, and that you know, this life is
about lessons and sometimes what we go through a has.
Speaker 7 (40:33):
A bigger meaning that we even know is going on
with them.
Speaker 6 (40:36):
So if a child feels a little more seen because
they know that they can talk about, you know, being
frustrated or being nervous, or parents can feel a little
more equipped to have these conversations. Because you write a
children's book for parents, you're right for parents to have
a conversation with children. First book, it was a conversation
(40:57):
with children about what prayer means. Because that really hit me.
I didn't know if I was allowed to pray to
this God that we go in church and pray to
every single Sunday or not, because it felt so big
to me, And hopefully that book answers some questions. And
the feedback I had from even my friends talking to
their children about prayer was incredible, and hopefully this book
(41:19):
the same thing is being like you know you chi
as a child, you have emotions, you have feelings, You
have good days, bad days, sad days, happy days, but
the ones that aren't so happy or sad or happy
or fun are just as warranted to be talked about
and just is as safe of a place to talk about.
(41:39):
And hopefully that is a conversation starter between a parent
and a child to start on this. It's like me,
It's like I wish I started playing golf when I was,
you know, six years old.
Speaker 7 (41:50):
Didn't happen.
Speaker 6 (41:51):
I was like twenty six when I started playing golf,
and I don't play golf anymore. But if you start
talking about your emotions as a child and be able
to express yourself and say I feel sad because of this,
or I feel frustrated, and even if you can't even
put it like wrap it up and say exactly why,
But if you talk about it and you express yourself.
(42:12):
Getting that out is so helpful. That's just a habit forming,
positive thing you can carry with you the rest of
your life. And hopefully when I talk to God, I
talk about feelings, does that and that that's the impact
it has, That that's certainly how it was intended.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Pareful. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
I think being able to name the feeling will provide
I hope, provide a safe space for kids to Even
if you're talking to someone and they don't believe your feeling,
they're like, I didn't do that. No, no, no, no,
(42:51):
Like I'm not saying that how you're feeling. I'm telling
you how I'm feeling, you know. And so many times,
even and I was adult conversations, it's like wait, no, no, no, Like,
I'm telling you how I feel and I'm valid in
my feelings. And I get to hold this space for
myself and my feeling and you're going to listen to it.
(43:12):
And I think that that kind of confidence, and it's
not from an ego place, but just like I'm worthy
enough to to share with you how I feel. And
I think so much, especially right now in our society
with social media and all the ways that we can
separate and we don't have the connectivity, and you know,
(43:36):
it's hard. Parents are working their tails off to support
their kids, but they're also not connecting with them. You know,
they're like, oh, here's this tablet oh here, watch TikTok whatever,
and what they're being informed with is not always positive.
And so if even reading the book creates ten minutes
of connectivity and like, oh, you know what, well, I
(43:56):
felt this way today, I felt this way, and there's
like a safe space like, oh, we both have feelings
and we're both they're both important to talk, you know,
to each other about. And the better we get about communicating,
the more comfortable we feel, which means we break that
generational trauma by you know, if you've never done something,
(44:18):
you're uncomfortable about it. So the more you practice it,
the better you get at it. And so I hope
that it just sort of creates time for connectivity but
also just sort of unawareness about them about the feelings.
(44:39):
And like Bradley said, like the book is also written
for the parents, you know, because a lot of us
didn't know how to communicate those feelings or even think
that we should, we could, we should. They're warranted they're necessary.
It's like, ah, whatever, like keep it moving and not
to say that like obviously we don't want to be
(45:03):
little sacks of puddles or whatever, you know, like we
also want to create thick skin, you know, we also
want to be tough too.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
But it's a beautiful symphony.
Speaker 5 (45:12):
Yes, it's all the things, And so I just hope
that it will create conversation, create a safe space, and
bolster the confidence between the relationship with the reader and
the audience that you know, I'm here for you, I
love you and I'm listening to you, and like, also
(45:34):
what can we do about it? You know, but you
got to name the feeling first. So it goes and
steps and.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
It's such a simple book and it's so profound.
Speaker 6 (45:43):
Well thanks, and it's also even if you can't land
on the words, you know, I think we're always struggling
to land on the words. The book are the illustrator,
our illustrated, Lisa Fields is so unbelievably talented. She went
through and gave each different feeling a color.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Yeah, you can feel actual color.
Speaker 6 (46:06):
Yeah, like be brave. Okay, sure, be brave. What an
open ended concept, right, but that's like yellow? And then
Being frustrated is like a dark orange. Being nervous is
a dark purple. You know, being embarrassed is a dark color.
But all those emotions have feelings attached to them. And
(46:27):
if you can say I'm feeling like this, I'm feeling
that like this little fox that fell off the log
in front of his friends and got mud all over
his paws is embarrassed. Okay, that's fine, it happens. You
don't have to tie it all together in a bow
and say mom and dad, this is how I'm feeling.
It's like, I just feel this, I don't know why,
(46:47):
and it's this color, it's this feeling, it's whatever it is.
So it's kind of multiple. It is multiple levels of stuff,
multiple levels of communicating feelings and saying, yeah, this is
is the color.
Speaker 7 (47:01):
That I'm feeling. This is what I'm feeling right now.
Speaker 6 (47:03):
Of course, you know, if you're frustrated, okay, what are
you frustrated about? How does that make you feel?
Speaker 7 (47:10):
What is it? Is it saying?
Speaker 6 (47:11):
Do you discuss something has happened or hasn't happened. But yeah, again,
at least a fields so talented really tied it all
all altogether at the end.
Speaker 7 (47:21):
Of the book.
Speaker 6 (47:22):
Every single color through the book comes down on the
animals in a rainbow, and it's around us all the time.
And that's one hundred percent Lisa. So fortunate and proud
to be working with her, and she wanted to do
another book with us, which is great.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
That's incredible. Okay, So I'm going to wrap up.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
I wrap up, and then can I ask y'all just
like after this, just to a quick little bonus episode
where we answer a few rapid fire questions that y'all
will love.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
They're gonna be great questions and we'll be wrapped up
with them. Are okay. I always lead with leave leave
your Light, and it's open ended. What do you want
people to know? Inspiration? Just dropping some inspiration.
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Oh, that you're loved, that you're made from love, with
love to love.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
That's awesome.
Speaker 6 (48:18):
I would say, you don't have to have it figured out.
You know you're you're with children, especially with their parents
or guardians or whoever their family looks, that there's a
support system there. I just put out a song to
support this book called When I Don't Know What to Say,
(48:39):
and it's an instrumental piece about those times when you're
sitting in your feelings and you're like contemplating what is
it that I'm feeling? And it's so important I think
to think before we speak and really get the words aligned.
And it doesn't always happen quickly, but it does come
(48:59):
together if you spend the time on it and really
dig deep and say what is the honest me going
to say and not have a knee jerk reaction to
an emotion.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
I love that so much. Okay, when I talk to God,
I talk about feelings. Where can everyone get this? Tell
me all the details what everyone needs to know?
Speaker 6 (49:20):
Wherever your favorite bookseller is, Amazon, Barnes, and Noble Parnassis
here in town. You know it's it's it's going to
be it's going to be all of those places, okay.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
And it's coming out April eighth, April okay.
Speaker 5 (49:33):
Or yeah, and you can just wait to our pupdate.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
It'll be out when this by the time this air,
so it'll just have come out. So that's so exciting.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Anything else people need to know about, any places they
should be keeping up with you guys, or anything any
other news we need to stay in touch with.
Speaker 5 (49:50):
I mean, Christy Mets Music Dot com or my Instagram,
any of those social places. It's pretty much all the
info that you might want to know.
Speaker 6 (49:58):
Same here Bradley Underscore Collins. I couldn't get Bradley Collins
at Instagram but that and Bradleycollins music dot Com.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
Hey amazing, Thank you guys so much, and we're gonna
do a quick little tell me more a few questions
as a bonus episode. So I know y'all love this
so much, so tune in on Thursday and you'll get
to hear the man citise amazing questions.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Thank y'all so much, This is incredible.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Bye
A carry Lene. She's a queen of talking if you
want so, you know, she's getting really not afraid to
feel the episode and soul. Just let it flow. No
(00:20):
one can do weque Black cary Lne it's time for Caroline.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, this is a treat to have Chrissy Metz and
Bradley Collins joining me.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
And I don't know if I remember this, but y'all
had been on before and we talked.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
We talked about your first book, which was when I
talked to God and talk about you, with the album
that a company that prayed for you prayed for this day.
And I have to say, I have a five year
old daughter and I played that album for her all
the time, and we read the book, and that Lullaby
album is so beautiful because it's just was like a
(01:02):
It was a companion to the book.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
And the book just is so thoughtful and.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Kind, and it brings God back into the center point
and just lets people know that they're loved, and kids
known that they're loved just for being themselves.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And you're back with another book.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
When I talk to God, I talk about feelings and
this book makes me cry because I've always had big
feelings my whole entire life, Like even as an adult,
I'm forty one years old and I'm still I mean,
I literally have tears of mind because I was reading
this book of life.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I don't think the generation above us knew how to
express themselves like we do.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
You know, do you agree with that?
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Yeah? I mean my mom particularly, she would always say
like she was taught that kids were seen and not heard.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Like literally she said she was taught that.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yes, yeah, what does that even mean? Because I feel
that yeah? Yeah, how would you break that down? As
like growing up in that kind of mentality.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Right, well, you don't feel heard or seem unimportant. And
then you're like, oh wait, so if I'm in a
working relationship, platonic relationship, romantic relationship, how do I not communicate?
Like if you can't communicate how you feel, you can't
communicate your needs, how do you have how they relationships?
So yeah, it's definitely a ripple effect, yeah, and it's unfortunate.
(02:27):
So hopefully we're turning the tide you know where I
feel like our generation is and I feel like that's
our hope, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So I feel that because I mean I shout out
to my parents They're great. They did the best they could.
They didn't even know what therapy was. It wasn't even
like a term people use back then. And I feel
like now for me, I have just been in therapy
for as long as I can remember, trying to get
a grasp with my feelings because I have identified that
(02:55):
I'm a high functioning.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Codependent.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I have been in a turn people pleaseer my whole life,
and I literally just talk about like not knowing my voice,
being able to speak up, like even though and Bradley,
I've known you a long time, like I've been out
of about the music industry, be blopping around, you know,
acting confident, living my best life.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
But under meath it all, I literally had just huge,
deep feelings.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
That I was struggling as an adult identifying. And so
the fact that you guys are starting writing these books
and like teaching them to children, it is just so
huge and I just see the progress that we were
making and to have people like you guys who have
a platform and who have like Bradly, you're so incredible
at writing songs and Chrissy, you've used your talents with
(03:46):
acting and music and these books, and it's like I
just think it's so powerful that we're sending this message
to our children, because I'm like, I have this five
year old daughter, and literally I had a freaking life
crisis when I turned thirty eight, was two years old,
and I was like, if I don't get my shit
together and like figure out what's going up and on
(04:06):
in my head, like I cannot pass that on to her,
you know, but you have to heal yourself first.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Yeah, absolutely, And you know, growing up in the music
business like I did, you know, and like meeting you
through music industry, it's you're You're taught to suppress your feelings,
even as an adult. I remember when I was at
b and my my old boss told me that I
wore my emotions too much on my sleeve and that
people knew too much about what I was thinking and
(04:33):
what I was feeling. And I told them, I was like,
I'm a creative. Music affects me very deeply. I very
much feel songs, and if I didn't, then I'd be
an accountant, you know, I'd be an accountant. I'd be
doing anything else other than music. And then you're taught
to not express yourself when bad things happen, just take
(04:56):
it on the chin and move forward.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
So and why we taught that because honestly, it doesn't
go away, you know, like it just gets locked in
your body, in that freezing feeling. Like I've been doing
a lot of healing lately, where like I'm trying to
push like go back and like remember feelings that maybe
were traumatic that I had locked inside.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Because whenever we're told to suppress our feelings.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
They don't go away.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You just get stuck in that like in since pain,
and then you just lock it up in your body
and then you try to act like it didn't happen,
but it doesn't process, you know.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Yeah, I'm just living with it, especially in the music
industry where you're taught to be nice to everybody no
matter what they say. Do you just keep just keep going.
And that's not that's not healthy. You just keep pushing
it down, pushing it down, pushing it down. And I
see so many friends unfortunately that it comes back up
a lot worse. And you know, lost a good friend
(05:49):
a little while while ago because he didn't talk.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
He didn't, I know, he didn't.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
He didn't come out and say what was going on
with him, even though everyone thought his life was perfect.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
And he was the nicest, happiest guy.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Successful, success, everything else.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, yeah, literally because we talking about feelings, and literally
it comes back to this, and it's talking about feelings
is the scariest thing we can do.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I feel like.
Speaker 6 (06:14):
It's vulnerable, that you're vulnerable to your core when you
say what you're feeling and what you're struggling.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
With, because what can happen?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
You could tell someone that you feel like the feelings
you'll talk about in this book are so great, the
main feelings happy.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Even talking about that, I love how you paint a picture.
There's a scenario.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
There's like a little scene that's happening ahead of time,
and like you read about it and it's like it
puts this feeling up where it's like the happy one.
The little animals are playing with each other by the
creek and they're like you're dancing around and singing and
you can just tell that they're just enjoy.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
And it's like, oh, that's what happy is.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And then after it says, when I think about I'm
not saying exactly right, but when I think about happy,
this is what it's like.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Kind of, but you go.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Through the feelings where it's like happy, sad, frustrated, nervous,
scared to brave, And it's because it's so, it's what
are the consequences of not telling our feelings? We all
know the consequences because we're adults now and we have
lived with the consequences of not sharing our feelings, and
we see it, like you're saying, Rale that we see
it in our adult friends. And I think that that's
(07:15):
why there's like this fire burning in us to like
get our kids to know the consequences of not sharing
your feelings and to be brave enough to like start
learning how to do it at a young age. So
it's not like this giant thing we have to tackle
as an adult, you know. And like, like I said,
I've known therapy for twenty years to try to figure
this out.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
So I just incredible.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
You feelings aren't something to hide or to fix, you know, yourself.
They're supposed to be talked about, talked about openly, and
hopefully the payoff is that you know, kids feel a
little more seen if they can talk about their feelings,
and hopefully parents will use this book and feel a
little better equipped to talk to children about feelings. And
you know even how feelings affect them, So that's, you know,
(08:02):
hopefully that's the payoff of this totally.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Yeah. I mean, I think when we suppress and stifle
our feelings, that's creating disease in our body. And I
think that's where a lot of disease comes from. And
just on a cellular level, it's like we have to
do it in order to stay healthy, like mentally, emotionally,
and physically. It's all connected. And I feel like, you know,
(08:26):
I taught preschool. I have a very big family and
preschool yeah back in Florida.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yeah, I guess you did.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
Yeah, And you know, so much of any of the
communication was always about like, this is how I'm feeling,
this is this is what I'm going through. And even
if they couldn't name the feeling, they were trying to
express it. So we're trying to name the feeling, express it,
and then feel honored and communicating that. And I think
that that is so important in treating the soil in
(08:55):
the way that kids will walk through the world as adults.
So we can't like pre empt the really tragic events
that happen when people are adults and have been suppressing
their feelings of their lives. So it's you know, obviously
a simplified, very big, complex issue, and we've simplified it
into this really beautiful children's book picture book to like
(09:17):
just sort of plant the seed in that soil and
hopefully change sort of the way that children see themselves
and see relationships and their feelings. So yeah, I'm really excited.
I feel like now's the time. I think it's very
timely in many ways. So yeah, I'm hoping that it
makes an impact in what our intention was behind it
(09:40):
is conveyed for sure, I think too.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Just teaching kids like at such a young age, just
to even know how to talk about it, you know,
like you were saying, be seen, not heard, Like I
didn't even know how to have these kind of conversations.
So what are you even to say, is how would
you even know how to even bring this up?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
You have to be guided into it, you know.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Well, yeah, you're like, I know, I hurt my knee
because I fell, But do we talk about being embarrassed
because you fell in front of your friends, you know,
or whatever? So it's you always funnel down the feelings.
But of course, if you don't know, if you don't
know you don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
So Christy, you said the last book tour and releasing
that album was super healing for you.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
What was the healing? What? What did you heal with
this specially like, what was that that went on inside?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Yeah? I mean as a child, like I was a
middle child of five.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
A middle child of five, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So you were really just like in the middle of
it all, hanging on for dear life.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Like Chrissy, who like what That's how it felt. I'm
not saying it was that was my perception, but my
perceptions of my reality, and so it was difficult. I
didn't really feel seen or heard. And that, of course
obviously ushered into my adulthood and the way that I
would walk through any room or an audition room or
a relationship whatever. And I as we were writing the
(11:02):
book and the music, and I was like, oh, like,
I'm finally getting to say the things that I never
got to say, either to my parent or to a
loved one, or never heard from a loved one or
a parent. And not to say our parents didn't do
the best they could, because if they knew better, they
would do better. But being able to hear that and
(11:22):
then knowing I'm putting that energy into the universe was
just very very cathartic for me. Even if I listen
to the music now, I'm like, oh my gosh, Like,
no matter what I think, it's my favorite song on
that album.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I love that song.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
And it was do you know that song randomly would
just come on and start playing on my phone, like
I am not kidding, Like I was on a walk
with my daughter the other day and we were just
like in the middle of a like a dried up
river and it just started playing, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
God, God, are you talking to me?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yes, yes, right now, Okay.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
I believe that stuff too. Those messages and those things
happen for a reason, and we need to be reminded that,
like we are loved no matter what, no matter how
much money we make, if we ever never become successful,
if we don't continue to be successful, like just as
we are, we are loved like no matter what. So yeah, yeah,
(12:24):
always in my feelings.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
About it is that and not to talk about this
is us because I'm sure you're like, so everyone wants
to talk about it. But that show was a big
impact show, like you know, like it really hit everybody
in the freaking corps. I remember the first time I
saw it, I was like, WHOA. I did not expect
to feel this way about a TV family. It made
us all feel seen and hurt, which kind of goes
back into the feelings is what is it like to
(12:49):
be a part of something like that? And is it
just like is that just like a little special spot
in your heart forever or is it like hard to
like move on to something else, because like that is
like that's a once in a lifetime moment.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Once in a lifetime, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Like all the people that came together, the magic of it.
It's just like I justel like you can't like that's
just it.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Yeah, yeah that. There was a woman who accosted me
in the driveway and she was like, hey, like my
daughter told me that you live here, and I couldn't
believe it. But I just want to let you know
that if you never book another job, like it doesn't matter,
because it isn't. And I was like, you know what,
You're actually.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Right, it doesn't matter. You have already done the holy
Grail of life.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And it's like but it's not even like it's like
this mountaintop and everything's down from here, it's.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Like, holy cow, you got it. You got the golden Egg.
You know, like no one gets the Golden Egg.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Well, I mean we do, and we did, and that
was what's so special. It's like, because it may, it
meant and it was meant to make such an impact
that it did, it will live with me forever, and
of course it has a special place in my heart.
Of course I've done multiple projects since and just finished
a movie in Cape Town, But like it will always
(14:02):
hold such a special place for so many reasons, and
you know, provide cool opportunities, but also I still get
to talk to random strangers about how they feel and
what comes up for them when they watch the show.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And so yeah, it's like one of those shows like
Friends or like Seinfeld or like you know that are
just like it's just they just go into that catalog
of it's like these are the greatest shows that have
ever been made, and it's just so cool. What do
(14:38):
you think You said that it holds a special spot
for so many reasons.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
What are some of the biggest reasons.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Well, not only the friendships that I mean, what I
learned about myself, what I learned about acting, what I
was taught by the other actors, the camaraderie that we have,
like the confidence building, the understanding of who I am,
and how how Kate informed me and I informed her,
(15:03):
and then also just the way that impacted the world.
You know, like people that I never thought I would
have anything in common with and we end up talking
and you know, just sharing stories and it's I mean literally,
I'm in Cape townam in Nigeria and like people watch
the show. I'm like, wait, what, Like you got to
(15:23):
be kidding me? So yeah, in every single way and
every single way was changed by it.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Do you feel I feel like this?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
And this goes for YouTube, Bradley, because I mean you're
around the magic of song all the time as well.
It's like you can show up every day and you
can go to an audition, or you can write a song,
or you can even have like a freaking awesome situation
where you're like, maybe you have two of the greatest,
Maybe have an artist it's you, Bradley. Maybe you have
like there's an artist right happening, or you know, or
(15:53):
it feels like so promising, or you have such a
promising audition, but it's like that's not the thing that happens,
it's this other thing that comes in through the back
door that like you could never have planned for, and
then it gets this momentum and this magic behind it.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
That you can't force.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
And it's just like that is you just have to
like show up and be there to receive it when
it happens.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Like do you feel that way about this industry?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Like do you feel like a lot of things that
happen you aren't the ones you're necessarily seeking out that
it just you have to believe in magic with it.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
Absolutely, it's just repetition. You have to write all the
time as much as you can. You know, I never
cancel rights show up because you never know what's going
to happen or who else is going to walk in
the room that day. And you know, I chase down
the ideas I love, and I chase down the ideas
that other people love, and hopefully we land on something
that months from now will be released. Found out I'm
(16:45):
getting a cut yesterday on an artist. Yeah, yeah, exciting,
and it's something that I'd never thought that would be recorded.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Right, Yeah, it's the ones that you didn't even think
anything ese.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
It's the one that in the room and I was like, Okay,
let's let's let's do this. This artist really wants to
write this, let's do it. And then the other song
that I thought was really great, he's not gonna record.
So you just never know. You never know. So it's
showing up and kind of talking about feelings, you know,
curbing your feelings and a lot of your ego just
to go in and say, hey, I'm here to write
(17:20):
the best song I can today. No matter however it
comes out, I know part of me is.
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Going to be in there hopefully is good enough to
get out.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
You know, totally. Ego does play a big part. Why
is ego important? And how do we listen to ego?
And how do we.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Say ego with some top in the passenger seat like
I appreciate you, but no you know.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
Well, yeah, I feel like in writing, especially you, you
put yourself second, you know, and you're you're there to
write for me. I'm there to write for the artist
that day, whatever it is they're wanting to say. One
of the first questions I ask is what's next for you?
What you working towards, what's the next thing for you?
So that that doesn't you.
Speaker 7 (18:04):
Know, I don't hold onto ideas and make them.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
My precious little little babies. I just try to see
what's best for the artists and move forward with what
they want to say, because I don't. I don't have
the desire to get out on a stage and perform.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
But you do have a desire to speak your feelings
because obviously you pour your truth into it.
Speaker 7 (18:25):
Absolutely.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Yeah, you think.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
That's why you became a songwriter, is to get your
feelings out.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
Yes, I have deep feelings.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
I got referenced with my boss earlier who said that
I was too emotional. You know, writing has helped out
a lot.
Speaker 7 (18:39):
Writing is the best therapy for me.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Did you express your kid your feelings as a kid?
Speaker 7 (18:45):
I did?
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I did my kind of similar to Chrissy's background. We
were taught manners and to be nice and seen not heard,
and that we'll talk about it when we get home,
and didn't always happen.
Speaker 7 (18:58):
We talked about it when we got home.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
So a lot of this this book for me when
I reference you know, feelings aren't somebody to hide or
to fix yourself. I was to fix her myself. I
hid them myself, and last few years I've been having
to dig it up and see what was there and
what I had suppressed and worked towards. You know, we
(19:23):
talk a lot about like inner child work, you know,
and that happened a lot on the first book and
even more on this book, about you know, the little Bradley,
the little Chrissy, the little Caroline, Like what do they need?
What do they need to hear? And what did they
not get as a child that they need? Now I
know that that has really helped me out a lot,
(19:44):
just kind of digging deep and feeling out what I
didn't hear and what I needed.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
What did you need and what didn't you hear?
Speaker 7 (19:52):
I heard a lot.
Speaker 6 (19:54):
I grew up in a home two wonderful parents who
were not wonderful together. From the first time I spent
the night at a friend's house and I saw their
parents eating dinner together. I thought, Wow, that's weird. They're
in the same room eating dinner together, They're sleeping in
the same bedroom. What is going on here? And then
I realized, Okay, my home is not bad, not bad
(20:17):
by any means, but also it wasn't a place where
you could really model for future relationships. And a lot
of that work for me has come around, you know,
what is it that is right and wrong?
Speaker 7 (20:30):
And what is.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
A good way to be there for somebody else?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh, because you're having to come up with your own meter,
because you're saying, like what you said is your parents
were great, but like it's like you had a model
of like what's a healthy relationship per se necessarily it's
not like you had a bad one.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
But it's not like you had the one you want
to follow.
Speaker 6 (20:50):
No, No, it's the one that I would would have
followed would not be a path to healthy relationship.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
It's identifying that even I identifying that we have these
patterns that are ingrained in us because we're just born
into it.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
If you don't examine it, you don't even know. You
just repeat, you know, And I feel.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like something of us do repeat because we don't looking
into this.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Is hard work.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Oh it's not pretty.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
It's not pretty.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
It's not pretty, it's not fun. It's not something you
really want to talk about with your friends. You talk
about it with a therapist and whoever you are.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
There's some shame involved with it.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Why is that?
Speaker 6 (21:30):
But why are we embarrassed? Why are we embarrassed and
ashamed of where we came from?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I was always embarrassed that when someone actually got to
know me, they're going to see that there was nothing there,
that there was like nothing special. And that's been like
my biggest quest is like, and I don't know if
I do think a lot of people feel this way,
but I put it on a lot of fronts, and
like we try to get a lot of facades going
on here to make it appear that like there was
(21:56):
I didn't want anyone to ever get too close to
because I'm like, oh, if they get in there and
they really get access, they're going to see like, oh, no,
this is there's this is not good.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
You know, we all we all come from some kind
of background like that. It's not just you or me.
Everybody comes from a background where we're trying to kind
of hide what we're doing. And that suppression is what
really gets us in trouble because I found that if
you're vulnerable and you say where you're coming from and
to kind of explain your behavior a little bit, it's
(22:27):
a lot easier for someone to understand then you're distant
or disinterested, you know, that's the that's the that's the
hardest thing to do, just being fully there.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Yeah, well I think it really wells down to everything
that we do is because we want to beanked, because
we want to be loved, So we put up for sides.
We act like we're different people. We aren't honest, because
if we are and we confront that honesty and the
person doesn't agree, then they're going to go running and
they're not going to stick around. They're not going to
choose you. They're not going to love you, and ultimately
(22:59):
that's what we want. It's like, choose me as I
am good than the ugly, and the people who are
men to choose you will choose you good, bad and ugly,
and the people who aren't don't belong in your life anyway.
But it's like the fear that comes with if I
really show you who I am, will you still love me?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (23:20):
We still love me.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
That's a big, gnarly fear.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
It's so scary.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
It's so scary.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
I think it's probably the scariest thing to authentically be
yourself and put yourself out there and fingers crossed it
like you'll be loved for it, and then not take
it personally if the person doesn't, if it's like not
the right thing. So yeah, it's definitely a process, and
it's hard because we come with all of the conditioning
(23:47):
from our.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Childhood, conditioning, our origin story.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
That is not no fault of our own I mean
it's like, yes, of course we play a part in it,
but like who where were born? The circumstances were born to,
the dynamics were born to, the you know, the traumas
were born into. It's like all that, like it sets
the tone for your life and you don't even realize
that it's not you. You know, like because when you're young,
you feel like you are your whole circumstance and it's
(24:13):
all you, and it's like detaching from that as you
get order, you're like, oh my god, yes this is
what I was born into and these things happened to me,
but that is not me. And that is just like
that realization that we are not our circumstances or in
our environments. That is such a big one to learn though,
I mean that has taken me my entire lifetime to
be able to grasp that.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You know.
Speaker 6 (24:34):
Yeah, these like as children, we're told to be brave,
be quiet, be strong, but this book hopefully tells children
to be to be real, to be honest, to be themselves.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
To be frustrated, to be sad.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
You know, when we were younger, it's like if you
started to cry and be like oh no, no, no, no,
don't cry, But it's like cry cry you had.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
A bad day, Like that is awful. That would hurt
my feelings too.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And I've finally learned with my daughter, I don't have
to make it better for her like she can have.
And I just learned this because I've been high functioning
codependent with her personal and because I don't want her
to have a bad day.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I don't want her to doubt herself worth.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I don't want her to feel bad about herself, and
so I'm trying so hard not to ever let her
have these feelings. And I had on this podcast. I
learned so much on this podcast. I had a child
and like expert, come on here, and she's like, no.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
If she has a bad day, if she got left
out at school, it's like two girls are being mean
to her.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Let her have it and don't fix it, you know,
just be there with her and let her feel it.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Like you're talking on these books.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Like feel sad, feel left out, feel you know, insecure,
But no, I'm here with you and it's not true,
but you.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Feel that way. Okay, feel it all the way through
because you're never gonna not feel these feelings. They're gonna
come up your whole life.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Yeah, the point of the point is to just say
I'm here for you, I love you, and tell me
how you feel. And it really will both bolster the
confidence to like communicate that effectively moving you know, and
it's so important to be able to vocalize how you're
feeling because when you do suppress those feelings, I mean,
(26:17):
like like we've said since the beginning, like they will
find a way out.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
They will find a way out.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
It might not be great, it might not be the
way that you want them to, and it's it can
be really unfortunate. And so just sort of imparting that
with you know, faith and saying like you know what,
like God's here to also hear you, and you can
tell him anything. There's something too big, too small, no
(26:43):
feeling that you know, Like that for me is like
no matter what, Like I pray all day, every day, no.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Matter what, all day every day. Literally, I'm like, tell
me your prayer schedule, tell me your schedule.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Literally, I'm like in the morning, like I will not
get out of bed before I have like a gratitude prayer.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
And what do you say?
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Oh, I'm like, thank you God that I woke up.
Thank you God for that I can see that I
am able to walk, that I can go to the
bathroom on my own, Things that we just take for
granted in a way that like you know, we just
get up and we were hustling, we're on with our day.
I always find at least ten things to be grateful for.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
So you start your day with gratitude, I have to.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
Like I have to. If I if I don't, or
if there's like you know, I'm rushed awake with a
phone call or whatever, I'm like, I'm definitely discomboval for
the day. Like, it doesn't. It doesn't bode well for me.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
You're right, And it's like a it's like a it's
a it's a chain of events. So if you start
your day off without that gratitude to anchor you in.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Then immediately you're in the chaos without the anchor.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Yeah, and then you set up your day for what
you want your day to look like. And so you know,
if you're in gratitude, you're going to be grateful all
day if you're like in despair, not to say you
can't have the food those feelings about it, but if
you're in despair, if you're disappointed, it's really hard to
shake that. I mean, it's important to feel it, but
it's hard to shake that. So gratitude for me is
(28:05):
really helpful. But like, literally, before I do an interview,
an audition, a phone call, I'm like, God, be with me,
Like help me to be open hearted and open minded,
and help me to remove my ego to listen to
you know, like just be the conduit, Just be the
person that you want me to be. Like, it's it's
(28:26):
so hard. The ego is you know, obviously it was
necessary when the saber tooth tiger is chasing us in
the jungle.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
You know.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Now it's a little hard to grapple with, but it's
it's real and it is to protect you. But it's
also it can be detrimental. So yeah, I mean for me,
I'm just I'm such a work in progress that I'm like,
if it's working, I'm not I'm gonna keep working it,
you know. So that for prayer, for me, it's just
that collective consciousness to my higher power to God that
(28:54):
like you're with me, I'm with you, You're omnipresent, You're
in everything always.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
So did you start operating from gratitude like that? And
how did everything change?
Speaker 5 (29:04):
I think it was probably like I mean, like off
and I'm growing up for sure, but probably after this
is us.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
And just.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Like knowing what I came through to get to where
I was, I'm like, this has to be gone, Like
what else could it be? And if I'm not honoring
him and I'm not grateful to him, not only is
it incredible that the more grateful you are, the more
you receive.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
That is so true, And people don't realize that if
they're not in the practice.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Yeah, isn't it wild? Like yeah, it's almost like how
can what are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Like magic can happen?
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Yeah, it really really can. It really can. And yeah.
So I've just I found it to be so advantageous
that I was like, well, I can't stop now. So
I think consistently for probably eight years now.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, And you said something earlier and I just relate
to this, and I think there's another piece to it
that you.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Mentioned a lot.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Even your first book was about this the title your
first book says this, which is this is me loving
the person you are today, loving the person you are today,
because we're saying we hope that people love us.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
That's ultimately the goal. You know. All these things that
we do are in hopes that people love us.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
But the kicker that I have finally realized, it's like
the Alchemists, the Journey of the Alchemists, and it's like, finally,
finally you realize, Oh, I've gone on all of this
journey and all of these trials and tribulations and all
these highs and these lows and these experiences, and I've
rewired my entire existence and I've been in search of
this treasure, in pursuit of.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
This goal that I thought I was after. But really
the treasure.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Is now that I love myself and I see myself
because we want to be seen in love. But that
really doesn't happen until you see and love yourself. And
I feel like you have that revelation, Chrissy, and like
you read this book about it too, which is amazing.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Well it is also you know, it's not linear.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Healing is not no no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
You can have a great day and then next day
you're freaking back in the gutter and you're.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
Like, wait a second, I thought it was like okay
from that, And for me, like, yes, learning to love
yourself for who you are like because if you don't,
you can't get to the person that you want to
be or you're destined to be. But also the craziest
part is that like once you start to love yourself
for truly who you are, good, bad and different, and
(31:36):
you're like you don't even care what other people think anymore, right, right,
And you're like, wait a second, I don't what all
(31:58):
this for?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
What?
Speaker 5 (31:59):
And now? Well, yeah, it's just so.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Because you know you're valuable because and that's what I
feel like it took me forever to realize, is like
I'm valuable if I love me.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
I don't care if you don't love me.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And like, because I know I'm showing up every day
as the best version that I possibly can, I put
in the work. I'm gonna mess up, but like I
know I am bringing the best I can. And if
I can look in the mirror and say like I
love you and I'm proud of who you are and
who you're becoming, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks,
and any opportunity that's missed or whatever, because it's like
what you're saying earlier, if it's made for me, it.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Will come to me. I don't have to go hunt
it down.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
It will chase you down.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
And it will You say that with such confidence. How
do you know that?
Speaker 5 (32:41):
Because it happens every single time I think I'm never
going to get another job, I'm never here. I go
what's going to happen now in my life? And an
opportunity always arises and I just goes back to me
like surrendering and trusting in God and his plan for
me because I don't know. I don't know best. If
I oh, gosh, I don't know best, I certainly don't.
(33:04):
And that's surrender in trust, in knowing that, hey, what's
gonna happen is gonna happen. And I'm of course stay ready,
so you don't have to get ready, you know, but
at the same time.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Being stay ready that's so key. Stay ready, just be
ready for it. Stay ready.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
For me, personally, it's you know, whether I'm in an
acting class, or I'm taking voice lessons, or I'm singing
every day, or I'm being creative. I'm writing or developing
a show or whatever it is that like okay, like
I'm still honing those skills. It's like you expect to
run a marathon, but you've never gone and put your
shoes on. You're like, oh, probably not going to be
(33:46):
the not gonna have a great time in this marathon.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Saving your knife sharpen.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Yeah exactly, absolutely so and whatever that looks like, because
everybody's just different.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
But yeah, just being like okay for the opportunity when
it comes.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
Yes, yeah, exactly, and.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Believing it's going to come because you're ready and because
you know you have something to contribute and offer and
you know that your soul is wanting to give in
that way and.
Speaker 5 (34:12):
From a place of humility. For me is always quintessential,
Like it's not because I'm like I'm better than so
and so are I know. In fact, it's like maybe
people need to know that, like I don't ever figured
it out, and maybe I don't have it all together
and I'm just a regular girl, like just have a
different kind of job and hopefully you can relate to that,
(34:34):
you know, And also so many people's stories get to
be told that way and need to be told. You know,
the working mom who like doesn't doesn't ever feel like
she's appreciated, you know, any of those things. That every
story needs to be told and deserves to be told.
So no matter what it.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Is agreed agreed, why is that? Why is it? Why?
You too rightly like, why does every story need to
be told? Why do we need to tell our stories?
Speaker 6 (35:06):
Because it's who we are, where we came from.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
You know.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
I remember when I was working at BMI for forever,
I'd want to know where somebody was coming from and
what their what their motivation was to be a singer
or a songwriter or an industry person.
Speaker 7 (35:20):
Whatever it was, because you could really get.
Speaker 6 (35:23):
To know somebody better that way, knowing what their what
their passion is. And I realized the ones that I
connected to were the ones that I saw myself and
them the most. I could look at them and say, Okay,
they have this fire inside of them that they want.
Speaker 7 (35:38):
To do more than what they're doing right now. You know.
Speaker 6 (35:42):
I remember one of my favorite artists that I worked
with was an insurance adjuster and I was like, well,
tell me about that, and he just didn't really say much.
And then I talked about writing, and his passion for
that was just so much more through the roof that
I knew that this guy was going to do something. Now,
I never knew if they what they were going to do,
but I knew that they had something more in them
(36:02):
than what they were currently pursuing.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
So tell me they're going to get it. You knew
they had the hunger to get it.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
Yeah, And it's I worked with so many people that
got to be a little obvious about who who had
it and who who didn't, and who needed more help
and who needed to be left alone.
Speaker 7 (36:18):
You know.
Speaker 6 (36:20):
Like I remember when I first met met Michael, I
was like, this guy, he's he's got it. He's this
is what he's going to do, no matter what happens.
He's going to be your writer.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
And guess what, Riley, we have done the no matter
what happens, right, because we have seen it all.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
We're like, we went the full deluxe pack package.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
We experienced every possible scenario that can happen, the good
in the bag, the ugly like you were talking about earlier, Christy,
let's take that ride good.
Speaker 6 (36:42):
Yeah, I mean and and and having a partner like yourself,
I'm sure it just helps him and and you and
advice versa. I'm such a fan of him too, you know.
And it's it's it's not easy.
Speaker 7 (36:54):
It's not your path, I mean.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
No, and I look at it is, especially in any
kind of creative industry. There's not one success, one way
of success, and there's not one way to fail. Everyone's
story is completely unique and different, no matter where they
are or where.
Speaker 7 (37:14):
They end up.
Speaker 6 (37:15):
And that's something that I keep coming back to. It's
just because it hasn't happened yet, it doesn't mean it's
not going to happen.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
All your circumstances and scenarios have to line up to
make the perfect moment. And ultimately this is all about
us learning our lessons, our life lessons anyway. And so
it's like you can't get something before you're ready for it.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
You know, no, because you're not going to appreciate it,
or it's not going to have the lesson that you
need to have. You know that might not actually be
your lesson. I feel like we have so many lessons
to learn that I'm learning something every day about what
I need to work on and what I need to
do to be a better person or better better friend
or whatever to anyone else around me, because it's constantly changing,
(37:58):
and I really look at the people that are closest
to me and what they're going through and how I
can either help or learn or improve myself. It's constantly
constantly changing.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
I kind of have an idea for y'all's third book,
not that y'all don't already have one, but.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
You're saying to do it.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Christy, when you're saying you're mantras that you start off
and gratitude in your mantras, it's like, so y'all talk
about how like the first one is when I talk
to God, I talk about you, It's like, you know,
that deep love. And then this one's about identifying feelings.
The next one could be like putting in place, like
some structure that helps you, you know, stay on track,
like the mantras, like how you wake up in the morning,
(38:38):
and like how you say your little mantras, like you know,
because mantras are really important to like learn those. As
a kid, I try to go through mantras with my
daughter at night, like I am brave, I'm strong, I'm confident,
you know, but like I just feel like I don't know.
Speaker 5 (38:53):
Well, yeah, I mean we become I mean we're creatures
of habits. So if you can create a good positive
have it, it will it will only benefit you. And
even if you like I don't see it happening, it's
not gonna happen. And then one day you're in a
particular situation and you're like, you know what, I am brave,
Like I can do this, Yeah I can. I can't
(39:14):
do this, and you do it, and you're like, I know,
I know I was brave, you know, Like, so you
put it into practice, and it's if we've been conditioned
in a negative way, we can condition a positive way.
So I believe mantras are wonderful, awesome. I mean, you
hear people. I mean a mantra. You can say I
love you, Like that's a mantra to someone, and you
(39:37):
can say it to yourself, of course, but like it,
you know, for somebody who didn't ever really feel loved,
and you hear that, you're like, I don't know, I
don't know if I believe you. And then people continue
to show you and then you're like, okay, you do
love me, and I am loved. Like that is a mantra,
Like that is something that you then get to to live,
you know, and it's not just words, you know.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
And do you believe it?
Speaker 5 (40:01):
So yeah, I'm all about the marts too.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
For sure. So what is our hope with this book?
When I talk to God, I talk about feelings. What
do you hope that when kids are read this book
or read this book?
Speaker 5 (40:12):
What is your hope Bradly, you want me taking away?
Speaker 7 (40:16):
Sure?
Speaker 6 (40:16):
I mean the hope is that a child knows I
believe I said this earlier, is you know that feelings
aren't something to hide or fix themselves. It's something to
be talked about, and that you know, this life is
about lessons and sometimes what we go through a has.
Speaker 7 (40:33):
A bigger meaning that we even know is going on
with them.
Speaker 6 (40:36):
So if a child feels a little more seen because
they know that they can talk about, you know, being
frustrated or being nervous, or parents can feel a little
more equipped to have these conversations. Because you write a
children's book for parents, you're right for parents to have
a conversation with children. First book, it was a conversation
(40:57):
with children about what prayer means. Because that really hit me.
I didn't know if I was allowed to pray to
this God that we go in church and pray to
every single Sunday or not, because it felt so big
to me, And hopefully that book answers some questions. And
the feedback I had from even my friends talking to
their children about prayer was incredible, and hopefully this book
(41:19):
the same thing is being like you know you chi
as a child, you have emotions, you have feelings, You
have good days, bad days, sad days, happy days, but
the ones that aren't so happy or sad or happy
or fun are just as warranted to be talked about
and just is as safe of a place to talk about.
(41:39):
And hopefully that is a conversation starter between a parent
and a child to start on this. It's like me,
It's like I wish I started playing golf when I was,
you know, six years old.
Speaker 7 (41:50):
Didn't happen.
Speaker 6 (41:51):
I was like twenty six when I started playing golf,
and I don't play golf anymore. But if you start
talking about your emotions as a child and be able
to express yourself and say I feel sad because of this,
or I feel frustrated, and even if you can't even
put it like wrap it up and say exactly why,
But if you talk about it and you express yourself.
(42:12):
Getting that out is so helpful. That's just a habit forming,
positive thing you can carry with you the rest of
your life. And hopefully when I talk to God, I
talk about feelings, does that and that that's the impact
it has, That that's certainly how it was intended.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Pareful. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
I think being able to name the feeling will provide
I hope, provide a safe space for kids to Even
if you're talking to someone and they don't believe your feeling,
they're like, I didn't do that. No, no, no, no,
(42:51):
Like I'm not saying that how you're feeling. I'm telling
you how I'm feeling, you know. And so many times,
even and I was adult conversations, it's like wait, no, no, no, Like,
I'm telling you how I feel and I'm valid in
my feelings. And I get to hold this space for
myself and my feeling and you're going to listen to it.
(43:12):
And I think that that kind of confidence, and it's
not from an ego place, but just like I'm worthy
enough to to share with you how I feel. And
I think so much, especially right now in our society
with social media and all the ways that we can
separate and we don't have the connectivity, and you know,
(43:36):
it's hard. Parents are working their tails off to support
their kids, but they're also not connecting with them. You know,
they're like, oh, here's this tablet oh here, watch TikTok whatever,
and what they're being informed with is not always positive.
And so if even reading the book creates ten minutes
of connectivity and like, oh, you know what, well, I
(43:56):
felt this way today, I felt this way, and there's
like a safe space like, oh, we both have feelings
and we're both they're both important to talk, you know,
to each other about. And the better we get about communicating,
the more comfortable we feel, which means we break that
generational trauma by you know, if you've never done something,
(44:18):
you're uncomfortable about it. So the more you practice it,
the better you get at it. And so I hope
that it just sort of creates time for connectivity but
also just sort of unawareness about them about the feelings.
(44:39):
And like Bradley said, like the book is also written
for the parents, you know, because a lot of us
didn't know how to communicate those feelings or even think
that we should, we could, we should. They're warranted they're necessary.
It's like, ah, whatever, like keep it moving and not
to say that like obviously we don't want to be
(45:03):
little sacks of puddles or whatever, you know, like we
also want to create thick skin, you know, we also
want to be tough too.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
But it's a beautiful symphony.
Speaker 5 (45:12):
Yes, it's all the things, And so I just hope
that it will create conversation, create a safe space, and
bolster the confidence between the relationship with the reader and
the audience that you know, I'm here for you, I
love you and I'm listening to you, and like, also
(45:34):
what can we do about it? You know, but you
got to name the feeling first. So it goes and
steps and.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
It's such a simple book and it's so profound.
Speaker 6 (45:43):
Well thanks, and it's also even if you can't land
on the words, you know, I think we're always struggling
to land on the words. The book are the illustrator,
our illustrated, Lisa Fields is so unbelievably talented. She went
through and gave each different feeling a color.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Yeah, you can feel actual color.
Speaker 6 (46:06):
Yeah, like be brave. Okay, sure, be brave. What an
open ended concept, right, but that's like yellow? And then
Being frustrated is like a dark orange. Being nervous is
a dark purple. You know, being embarrassed is a dark color.
But all those emotions have feelings attached to them. And
(46:27):
if you can say I'm feeling like this, I'm feeling
that like this little fox that fell off the log
in front of his friends and got mud all over
his paws is embarrassed. Okay, that's fine, it happens. You
don't have to tie it all together in a bow
and say mom and dad, this is how I'm feeling.
It's like, I just feel this, I don't know why,
(46:47):
and it's this color, it's this feeling, it's whatever it is.
So it's kind of multiple. It is multiple levels of stuff,
multiple levels of communicating feelings and saying, yeah, this is
is the color.
Speaker 7 (47:01):
That I'm feeling. This is what I'm feeling right now.
Speaker 6 (47:03):
Of course, you know, if you're frustrated, okay, what are
you frustrated about? How does that make you feel?
Speaker 7 (47:10):
What is it? Is it saying?
Speaker 6 (47:11):
Do you discuss something has happened or hasn't happened. But yeah, again,
at least a fields so talented really tied it all
all altogether at the end.
Speaker 7 (47:21):
Of the book.
Speaker 6 (47:22):
Every single color through the book comes down on the
animals in a rainbow, and it's around us all the time.
And that's one hundred percent Lisa. So fortunate and proud
to be working with her, and she wanted to do
another book with us, which is great.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
That's incredible. Okay, So I'm going to wrap up.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
I wrap up, and then can I ask y'all just
like after this, just to a quick little bonus episode
where we answer a few rapid fire questions that y'all
will love.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
They're gonna be great questions and we'll be wrapped up
with them. Are okay. I always lead with leave leave
your Light, and it's open ended. What do you want
people to know? Inspiration? Just dropping some inspiration.
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Oh, that you're loved, that you're made from love, with
love to love.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
That's awesome.
Speaker 6 (48:18):
I would say, you don't have to have it figured out.
You know you're you're with children, especially with their parents
or guardians or whoever their family looks, that there's a
support system there. I just put out a song to
support this book called When I Don't Know What to Say,
(48:39):
and it's an instrumental piece about those times when you're
sitting in your feelings and you're like contemplating what is
it that I'm feeling? And it's so important I think
to think before we speak and really get the words aligned.
And it doesn't always happen quickly, but it does come
(48:59):
together if you spend the time on it and really
dig deep and say what is the honest me going
to say and not have a knee jerk reaction to
an emotion.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
I love that so much. Okay, when I talk to God,
I talk about feelings. Where can everyone get this? Tell
me all the details what everyone needs to know?
Speaker 6 (49:20):
Wherever your favorite bookseller is, Amazon, Barnes, and Noble Parnassis
here in town. You know it's it's it's going to
be it's going to be all of those places, okay.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
And it's coming out April eighth, April okay.
Speaker 5 (49:33):
Or yeah, and you can just wait to our pupdate.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
It'll be out when this by the time this air,
so it'll just have come out. So that's so exciting.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Anything else people need to know about, any places they
should be keeping up with you guys, or anything any
other news we need to stay in touch with.
Speaker 5 (49:50):
I mean, Christy Mets Music Dot com or my Instagram,
any of those social places. It's pretty much all the
info that you might want to know.
Speaker 6 (49:58):
Same here Bradley Underscore Collins. I couldn't get Bradley Collins
at Instagram but that and Bradleycollins music dot Com.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
Hey amazing, Thank you guys so much, and we're gonna
do a quick little tell me more a few questions
as a bonus episode. So I know y'all love this
so much, so tune in on Thursday and you'll get
to hear the man citise amazing questions.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Thank y'all so much, This is incredible.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Bye
Host
Caroline Hobby
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