Ever wondered what it’s really like behind the scenes of being Miss Arkansas USA, navigating a toxic relationship, and feeling completely lost in your 20s? 🤔 Meet Hannah Mooney, who shows up unapologetically as herself—minivan, four kids, and all—while married to one of country music’s biggest stars, Shay Mooney. 🌟
I’ve known and loved Hannah for nearly a decade, and this conversation dives deeper than ever before—so much that we couldn’t fit it all into one episode! In Part 1, we cover:
✨ Her unplanned path to the crown and what truly defines a pageant girl.
✨ The post-college struggles that left her feeling lost and behind.
✨ The divine timing of moving in with Ms. JoAnne.
✨ How surrendering to faith transformed her life.
✨ The whirlwind first date where she met Shay *and* his entire family—plus, the unexpected public proposal that followed!
✨ Shay’s journey through health and sobriety, and how therapy took their marriage to a whole new level.
This convo is real, raw, and oh-so-relatable—whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, or beyond. 🔥 Grab your favorite drink and tune in, because you don’t want to miss this juicy deep dive!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Adam Adam, Carol Lone, she's a queen and talking song.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
She's getting really not afraid to feel tenisol and soul.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Just let it flow.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
No one can do we quiet. Caryl Lone is so
of Carolne. Okay great, I'm so glad we're rolling because
I am having the most fun with Hannah Mooney. Oh
my gosh, welcome back.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
You were here six years ago, six years I know,
And I feel like I just saw you like a
few weeks ago the hair salon, but you only don't
get to catch up like you want to the hair salon,
No I know. And also you're just looking crazy, but
at least it's like amongst.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Other women looking crazy, all on her hair, laying back,
you know, talking at the sink, b washing it out.
Where else are you gonna hang out? When you got
all these kids? Fourth is on the way.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
It's true. When do you have one second to hang
out anybody? Not a lot, not a lot, not adult
time anyway.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
You're killing me though, because first off, you're just a bombshell.
Oh you're gorgeous, and you're hysterical, and you're just so
freaking real and you're momming so hard, right, now. I mean,
you're in full force mom mode, mom era.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Why can out look like a dream?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Though? Now?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I said, if I stood up, y'all would know that
I look like a pregnant pirate today. I like have
my piratey sleeves and like my high waist, but you
can't really see the bump, but it's there.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
But you're you're such a style icon and it's such
your own style, which I love, even pregnant.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I mean, I was in a.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Freaking stretch dress every day and had one that I
wore so much it ripped on the side and I
still wore.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
It because I like this. There's so judgment here. Leave
your judgment at the door of my house. Okay, I
told you when I got out of my car that
my pain. We'll talk about that a minute.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Give over. What kind of car was? Here? Comes handed
driving up in a minivan. I die, Oh my gosh,
you're bringing it mini. I have been screaming that minivans
are the coolest, most functional, smartest you and Shay.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
They make so much sense.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's the stigma.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Shae has been on the minivan for years and I'm
absolutely not well cool.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
He's cool.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
He knows he can drive the minivan to the point
where he like hyped it up last year two years ago,
and Asher was like, why can't we get a minivan?
And then asking and lady accused me of thinking that
I wanted to drive my car because it's a cool
popular car.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
What is your car? It's it's a Denali. Oh that
is a cool popular car.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
No, And I'm like, well, you're not wrong, and he
and I was just like, I'm gonna remind you this
when you're eighteen and you get and that's your first car.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
How about when you turn sixteen, ash Er, you will
be driving this cool But I'm just for it. I'm
just gonna say, there is no cooler car than a minivan.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
It makes so much.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Sense the deal.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I will get behind the practicality of a sliding door
because when you have kids, they bang the doors open
into everything so that I can get behind. Also has
a built in vacuum cleaner, so.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
That's neat, and you can like fully swivel a chairs
in their store underneath it.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Does It does have a lot of I means for days,
nothing to do with the purchase. Shae was like, do
you want to help, and I was like, I don't
care what you get. And he came rolling down the
driveway and I.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Was like, just so he just bought it.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
He literally just like called the dealership and.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I love Okay everyone Dan is Dan and Shay. This
is Shae. You know, Vocal House for Days, total superstars.
That's how you know you're cool when you have to
hide the minivan from your wife because you're so cool
that you're like, I don't even care. It's the practicality
makes so much sense. I mean, he is a confident dude.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
The boys like they were out at the pool, I think,
and he would They were like, Daddy, when the minivan
gets here, please come pick us up. And they went
joy riding in it. They literally went to Chick fil
A and like took it around town.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And I was like, you know, your adulting, win win.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I'm not to that level. I don't think I will
ever force into it. Like I don't even recognize me
in the carpool line anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
You know who am I any even mirror like Hannah's Like,
I know I never would have I can never have
seen myself in this medio va.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
But you know what, it makes so much sense. It does.
It's a new layer of confidence. And to be fair,
I do still have my car, and I'm like, this
is my mom car now, and as soon as I
clean it, then we can like transfer all the like
trash and like children things to the van. That does
make me feel then your mom car will stay cool.
That's right. So I can purchase all my home good
things and like have lots.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Of room for it. And when you have an outing
for yourself, like coming to a podcast, you take.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Your clean mom car.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Your Genali that you love did not do today because
she has a flat so she really let me down.
She really let me down.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Shade's got like a honeydow list. When he comes home
off the road, I'm like, can you go get new
tires for the car? He's in Florida right now? What's
he doing? Touring? Okay, so the they're on a tour
heartbreak on the map tour. I had to think about it.
They're going across the whole map. Yes, I did first
leg in the spring and this is like the summer amphitheater,
(05:00):
so it's been fun. Okay, Oh yeah, come on in.
I have a low voice.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You do have a low you could have been a
phone operator, not that you ever would have gone ou route,
because you love God more than anyone I know.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
But I'm just saying, you have that good voice. Oh,
thank you. I used to hate it when I was
a child. I was like, do I sound like a man,
But no, it's just like a lower voice. It's beautiful.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
And you're so sweet, Like you're so kind. Like when
I hear you talk, I just feel better. Oh you
are so kind, you are.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
You are just an encourager to just speak the truth.
It's why you have a show, because you can sit
down with anyone and be like.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I see I see all the greatness in people, Like
I've always studied people, and I've always been very intrigued
by people, and I like, I can just see people.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's a double edged short though, because you like see
the best and then you can like glaze over the
bad stuff. It's at least at least when you're dating, right,
that's what I mean. Right, we're past that, I know,
but God, right, but there were seasons where I was like, well,
I see the good and then it really gets you
crushed biting them in the back. Okay, so he's in Florida.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
He's in Florida and Dan and Shaye, Man, what a
ride you've been there from the beginning. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
They almost hung it up for a minute.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Did Shae had life a huge lifestyle changed?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
She did. He had a health journey. Health journey we've had,
like a marriage journey. It's just been can we kind
of go on that journey? Well, you can go on
any of it. Let's start the journey. Man, chow choo,
I'm here.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Where do you want to start? So you met Shae
because the last time we talked to you, we talked
about your love story.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Yes, how y'all met the Majestic? What is the Majestic?
Georgie's George's Majestic in Fateville. Are there random meeting? No?
So I texted him on a Saturday night. I texted him, Well,
how did you know he existed? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
And did you this? By the way, we knew of
each other for a couple of years.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
He had messaged me. Oh, so all met online? Yes,
So we're both from Arkansas and so you know when
you're from the same like.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Stay extra creepy. No, a random meeting.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I was miss Arkansas, USA, and so.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I don't breeze past that you were.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Of course you were Miss Arkansas, USA. Well, Hannah, we
tell the story and he that's huge, Well it was.
That was a whole Miss USA.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I did.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I competed. Is that why your friends in this universe?
I have a lot of friends that are friends I do,
which is so funny because I'm a tomboy and I
grew up like barefoot, playing all the sports and I
never liked pink and I got talked into doing a
pageant my freshman year of college. You're like your rowing No.
(07:34):
So these are all fun facts here, and I can
get on a soapbox about it. I competed in the
America system for a few years. America requires talent. Talent
sections are ninety seconds long of performance value and they
are worth the majority of your score. Now, this is
your talent really determines if you're the one sure and
(07:55):
it and that just feels a little like heavy when
you you also do interview and all the other things.
And I felt like interview and on stage question should
be like your speaking abilities should be worth more, just
in my humble opinion, But who am I didn't create
the system, and I think the scoring system has changed.
This has been a while and I finally had a
(08:18):
woman tell me one time because I sang you saning
I did and it wasn't good. No, I'm not a singer.
I just could not do anything else in ninety seconds,
Like I don't have a rhythmic bone in my body.
I was not going to try to dance or tap.
Tapping is big in Arkansas. Tapping is huge.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It is.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
One of my girlfriends is a tapper and she's insane.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Where do they tap?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I don't know, Like they have like the dance schools.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
What do you do with it after you become the tapper?
I don't know. There are these grown adult tappers.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I don't know. I need to cole Sloan and ask her.
She's actually teaching little girls how to tap? Now, okay,
I love it anyway. Arkansas is fun. It is fun
and it's like I do tell people this, It's like
the sec of pageantry, like you are in the South
and it is. It is like cutthroat. It is tell
(09:08):
me more so serious. And Arkansas is like a top
producer eager, yeah, oh a lot or young.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Eighteen nineteen twenty.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Arkansas is like a top producer of like Miss America.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I feel that Actually, yeah, I feel like Miss Arkansas
is always like a total like.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Oh a ten, it's it's a big deal.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Okay, you're like.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Really put through the ringer. It's very political though. I
felt like, I know, shocking, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
How so.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
It just feels like give us the tea it is.
I can't. I don't.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I don't want to keep some of it wrapped up
still your pageant codes.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I actually got into it because I was like, you know,
what worst they can do is say you lost, And
the best that can happen is I can win scholarship money,
and I'm all about like helping put myself through school.
We talked about my cows six years ago. I think
because I had cattle because I grew up on a farm.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Anyway, she's beauty, she's grace, she can you are that song?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yes? So I competed and I finally had a mom
or aunt someone of another contestant walk up to me
and she was like, oh, honey, you are so beautiful.
You should consider USA because they don't require talent. And
I have heard a thing because honestly, thank you. I
(10:26):
was just like, okay, because here's the thing in Arkansas.
And it's not like this in every state, but it
is very The two systems, America and USA are very like.
They do not they.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Are like montagues and capulas.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
That's exactly it. And so if you switch over and
do together, let's not go there, you will never be
welcome back. He will be you know, blackballed if you
switch over. So I was like, after my last a
competition in like were the title of Miss Arkansas in
the America system, I was like, I won like a few,
(11:06):
like preliminary things, but I was like, I'm never gonna
win if I can't win talent, and I'm not I'm
never gonna win talent. I'm back to that lady's words.
So I was like, you know what, I'm already fit.
I've already prepared for.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Years already in the system. Keep it going, witch over and.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Do USA, and like whatever the Lord wills, that's fine,
But this is my last pageant.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
And we did.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I didn't even tell people I was in it. And
then I one no.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
One Miss Arkansas, USA, So now you're about to miss USA.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Miss USA. No one was more shocked than like me
and my mom. We didn't tell people I was in
it because that was gonna be my last pageant.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I'm so glad that you weren't like living and dying
and breath and killing yourself.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
And that's probably why I won, because I wasn't a
pageant patty, because that's what they call them, and they're
just overly trained and they say everything that they're supposed
to say. And I genuinely yes, and I genuinely went
into it just being like, this is my last goal,
Like I'm just here for the memories, and it's incredible.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
How did you get so laid back about it with
all that pressure. I'm not.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
It's just that again, I didn't grow up in that,
so I wasn't like born and bred to compete in pageants.
I was like, if I win, I will win like
a full ride tuition, I will win scholarship money. It
will be amazing and it will be Here's the thing.
It's such a good experience because you do learn interviewing
skills right, and speaking skills and how to carry yourself
(12:32):
like there's just so many benefits. And I always encourage
a lot of my younger cousins have been competing over
the years because I competed, and it is. It is
an amazing way to polish yourself and ready yourself for
the real world.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I feel like so many people would be so anti
that now they're like, wow, oh, I mean just just
look at the system.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
They're like, no, you can't do swimsuit anymore because it's sexist.
And I'm like, we signed up for this.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah, right, you knew what you were getting into, right,
And honestly, like, as long as it's well rounded, like
you're talking, brains, you're talking. It's not just like how
you look, but it's your talent, your brains, and why
not at Myer some beauty.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Listen, they have Myer Beauty listen to this. When I
got to as long as a woman is like here
for it. Right when I got to Miss USA, even
though according to the other system, USA doesn't require talent,
I was surrounded by these women that were literally like
working for NASA and attorneys and like just brilliant women,
(13:33):
insane women. And it was just an honor to be
like representing my state and to be surrounded by other
women who are like doing these things.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
And what's wrong with being the total full package?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, it's a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Sure, but there's a small group I people want to
go to Miss USA who can do all of it, Yes,
like yourself, Hannah.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Oh wow, I do a lot of things now and
none of it's patricks.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh well, sorry, I kind of like almost broke my
tailbum but it's fine, So I.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Just clear r.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
It's just awesome. What what was it like though? Behind
the scenes, because you see all of like the horror stories,
but like, what was because I feel like you took
good stuff from it?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
But what was the horror and the highlight? I took
good stuff from it because I be bopped into it
being like I have no business being here. I didn't
even think I would win.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Perfect mindset. So I hope that.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I meet like awesome girls and and it's true, a
few of them like my bridesmaids. I've been bridesmaids in
their wedding. Like we're now like having children together. One
of my best friends has three little girls and they're
all stairstat between our three boys, and it's just been
so fun. But we went into it being like, this
is an experience, this is once in a lifetime. We
(14:45):
don't actually think we're gonna take the crowd.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
It sounds like I was twenty one. So really there's
two mindsets. One where it's like this is what you eat, breathe,
live and die for. And one is like, Okay, awesome opportunity.
I'm gonna go as hard as I can, but let
it be an experience.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Because there was actually a group and we call them
the Mean Girls, and I won't name the states, but
they were They were really intense and I could tell
you so many stories because we were locked in. This
is when Trump still owned the system, and so it
was in Vegas and it was like three weeks of
(15:18):
us being there and they would take us around for
three weeks and we would film. We would film things
for like b roll and commercials and all of this stuff.
So for three weeks we would wake up at like
five am, six a m.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
And be full here and.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Make up, leave at seven, do rehearsals, do all these things.
And we had we were locked on like two floors.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Thank you Morgan is delivering us coffees without a fly,
which we won't have to tell that story on the
podcast for Morgan, Thank you so much. Thank you doing
the Lord's work.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Bye, I mean a coffee deliver Yes, please. Oh, we
just like to keep it high class over back every week. Yes, nic, yes,
some of my oat milk vanilla latte, I mean perfect.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
No flies, No flies.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, well, don't forget to come back to that fly story.
We'll come back to it because y'all she had an
experience with the fly?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Did this one not?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Now? What was I saying? Okay, So for three weeks,
your hair and makeup, full glamb five or six in
the morning, you're going out making commercials, so you're exhausting.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
We're actually locked in. There's a full security team, like
twelve huge men from New Jersey that are that are
named like, you know, just very Jersey names. I don't know.
They're like huge, like Sally and we're you know, they're
so sweet. They're like teddy bears, but also like they
could kill someone, right.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And former Navy seals.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
And so they my favorite was named norm He was
really sweet. But they would take us around and we
would literally like walk through the casinos in like this
line of fifty one girls with fifty one the fifty
first state.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Oh, it's like a it's.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Either a coaster or or oh what are you go?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Okay, No, it's d C. Oh duh, it's dcy DC
gets its own state, okay, which she may have thrown
a chair after she lost in the background.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Wild Okay, So she was in the category of life
and death. Yes, confirm, we're not in this for fun firm,
but yes, it was.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
It was wild times. We were allowed to get a
spray tan because you didn't get spray tanns until like
the end, because you you were locked in. You couldn't
go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
They brought in and bring a spray tan or cha.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
They brought two spraytan artists in the last week and
we were we signed. They were like, we're gonna have
a sign up sheet outside of our whatever room, our lounge,
and after dinner, y'all can all and sign it to
see what time you get. Okay, Well, imagine this, there's
fifty one of us, there's two spraytan artists, and the
(18:09):
slots are all like like you have to have eight
hours to process and you're competing the next day. Some
of these girls are going to be up until like
three to get their tan and then like sleep in
it and then anyway, So when I tell you there
was a stampede to get to the elevators to get
the after dinner, and I was like in this second
(18:31):
elevator and we are all just like in heels and
we're just like, you know, speed walking to get there.
And I was in the second elevator, so I was
really fortunate and that.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Sexy you kind of had to be in a competition
to get a spray tan.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I know, I know. So I get there and the
first group from the elevator had taken all of their
friends and written everyone's namestone. And there was a girl
that even came in right in front of me and
she scratched out another contestants name.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
And was like riding in her friend name. And I
was just like, what is this kind of dirty? This?
This is a wild times.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
And that was just one story, but it was an
I room. I had to room with Miss Hawaii.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
How is that?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
That was great? I love her. We So the director
of Arkansas was the director of five states at the time. Okay,
they direct over six states now, but we would have
boot camps throughout the year to prepare us. And we
were considered sister states because we had the same instructor.
We have the same directors. So it was Nebraska who
(19:44):
was La, one of my best friends, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Missouri,
and uh, Kansas City. Those were our five girls. So
at least we had spent months preparing together and we
knew each other, but they all ended up rooming together
and I was like the fifth one out.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
So I for got two room together and you didn't,
well you group up into twos, okay, and so like
two and two yes, and so then I needed to
find a roommate.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And I think Hawaii reached out to me. This is
when Instagram is brand new, and so this is not
a thing you two thousand and seven then right, no
to well, it was twenty thirteen, so I say no.
But it was like you can't just like sluice around
and like creep around on people to find out if
they're cool. So right, because they'd barely had any posts. Yes,
it's just like a hail Mary and it's just a puture.
(20:34):
Like you're not insane?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Do you want to be roommates for three weeks? That's good?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
And it was awesome and that was that was really fun,
but yeah, it was. It was a wild ride.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
So what happens though, when and then we'll get off
this because I freak can talk about it forever, But
what happens when you're in the competition and like are
people getting cut throat or are people playing pretty nicely?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Is it stressful? Oh, it's really stressful. I especially how
about you make it well? I'm a nine on the inneagram,
you know, I'm like, please keep peacemaker anyway. And so
I was just very like, I just want to be friends, guys.
Not most of these women were like that. I accidentally
stepped on a girl's dress when we were leaving, uh interviews.
(21:16):
The interviews not good. She absolutely like screamed at me
and like accused me of ruining. I literally was like,
I have an extra gown that's my actual because fun fact,
for a lot of pageants, if you compete on a
national level, you will compete sometimes in the preliminary in
(21:40):
a gown that's like nice, But then you like have
the special special gown that if you make the top
like twenty or ten and it's televised nationally, you're gonna
bust it out and like it's like your secret weapon,
like no one has seen it, and so the girls
can't be scouting and it it's like the dress, you know,
(22:03):
And so I was like, I have an extra dress anyway,
it's not good. I apologized. I had a target on
my back. It was such an accident. After that, you
had a target on your back well from her, and
I apologize profusely.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
But what are you gonna do? Though? I mean that
is probably like cut throat, Live or die, and everyone's
just so young, so they're just getting into things that
matter to them.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You know.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
It's by the first big moment and most of y'all's
lives because you're only like eighteen to twenty something years old.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Oh they've changed it now. I was like blown away
because this year I think there's like a forty something
oh all ages, okay, interesting. We wouldn't even go there,
but it was interesting. One last thing I will say
this was my worst nightmare. We danced because we had
opening numbers and this is all televised. I remember them
being like, this is televised in eighty different countries and
(22:54):
I was like, oh good, and I'm in a bikini
and we're doing a dance number and seeing a bikini
because they had like different numbers for like different sets,
so we were like swimsuits gowns. Like the open number
of outfits like, and they're sponsors for all of it, right,
so they're getting their airtime. And they broke us up
(23:16):
into different groups, and I was in the non dancer
group and they didn't say it was the non dancer group,
but by looking at all of us, we were like,
we're the non dancers. So I was like in the
back by the like the drummer, just dancing in my bikini,
praying I wouldn't fall up stage. Hannah, Yeah, I mean
were like a scenario for me. What a life experience though.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Okay, so you were Miss Arkansas, USA, you did the pageant,
and then now you're standing with a majestic about to
kiss Shaye Mooney. How did that? Oh? I skipped a
few things. You skipped a few things, and I do.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Shane and I have done a few part episodes of
the two of us, so he does get to like
chip in until his side of the story. But y'all
met online.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
We did meet online. I had gone through a lot
before him, and so I was not interested in a
relationship with dating. Yeah, I have some bad dates, so bad,
god boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
So bad. And it wasn't the guy right before Shay.
It was like before it was before that, and it
was really bad and it was abusive and it.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Was no it was like, how old were you?
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Twenty young? Yeah, it took me a few years to
get away. I had to move a few times, threaten
restraining order. It was like really bad. So I'd been
through it and then I ended up dating a really
sweet guy that was just fun, like normal for the
first time in my adult life, and we ended up
breaking up and that broke my heart. But I also
(24:49):
knew it was right because I was praying for God's
will and when it happened, I was like, dang it,
do you think not to harp on this?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
So with that abusive relationship, because like for young girls listening,
it's easy to get tricked, especially when you're young. Because
I was a door mat, like I said, oh you
were people, please are nine so looking for peace and
ruffle any feathers.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Yeah, I could get in. I'm not going to get
into the whole story, but it was really bad.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
And when you're that young, it's so easy to get
swept away, and it doesn't really start off bad, right, So.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
It wasn't even me swept away. It was it was
truly being taken advantage of your goodwill. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it was just not good.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
And until you get older and you learn that it's
just so you don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, you really don't.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
You don't know. You just don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
And then and then they they isolate you and manipulate
and gaslight and you know, do all the things that
you hear about.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
You have no idea that it's not supposed to be
that way because you're so young. Right, Yes, I'm so
sorry that haven't to you.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
That's okay, it was.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
It was good because you like figured it out to
get the strength to get out of it, for sure.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
No, And and you know a lot of times when
you're in that you don't tell people, right, like they
don't know that it's abusive, Like they don't know that
it's bad. They might because you're totally isolated and you've
lost all your friends and it's because they've been scared off.
But yeah, it was really bad and controlling. And I finally,
(26:18):
like I said, got away and then had that other
boyfriend that was like fun and like normal for the
first time, broke my heart. And then after that, I
was just on a sabbatical with Jesus and I was
like good for you?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
How was it?
Speaker 3 (26:33):
It was awesome. I didn't want to leave it.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I truly wastal.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Got to that place where I was like God would
not want.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
That for his daughter. So you were just real like
healing yourself.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I wasn't healing me.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
God was healing me? How So what were you doing? Like?
How were you healing? What were you How would you
spend your time with God?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I mean it was It was truly such a hard
season because I, because of Miss Arkansas, was graduating a
semester behind all my girlfriends. So everyone graduated that spring
and I was having to take a summer semester to
catch up to finish and graduate that summer. Well, my
roommate and I she was graduating and our lease was
(27:15):
up in May, so I was like, I have nowhere
to live. I just got my heart broken because the
good boyfriend broke up with me.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
You probably have still probably compiled upon the bad boyfriends
so through.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Sure like he's still the ex still knew where I lived,
So I was I was also like living in fear
and like having nightmares that you would find me.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
But you're not like does that did it just go away? Eventually?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Like because no, I still have nightmares.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Oh dinnah, but.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
But it gosh, I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
So you Lisa was up up okay.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
So I was about to be homeless. I was heartbroken.
All my friends were graduating and moving on and I
was just like left like with the pieces of my life. Also,
I had just given up my crown and I wasn't
so funny. I just did an interview with Jimmy Tebow
and we've talked about this, like when you pass the crown.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
She's married to sim Tibo.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Yeah, she was miss Universe. That's miss Universe. Yes, okay,
but fortunately, like that's not where I was finding my identity.
But I did. I did hold on to it as
like this makes me feel like purposeful. And as much
as I was like representing my state and I was
traveling and I was speaking to kids and going to
(28:32):
schools and like doing these things and then my.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Year of service was over, it's so intense, like you're
twenty four to seven of the day doing something that
matters and you are like a spokesperson and it's all
on you and all these people are coordinating it. So
it is that is purposeful, and it's you have a
job to do right that is needed every day, and
then it just ends cold turkey. Hm. Oh that's a
harsh ending.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
We just pass it on, which I was so.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Happy to do. Totally, okayther thing, you can feel this
and that at the same time, Like you can feel
so happy to pass it on, I'm sure also completely
lost and like who you are now?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Well, I wasn't lost in who I was or what
to do with It was that it was that feeling
like I was being productive and purposeful for the better
of something else, something bigger than myself, which is important
to me. Oh wait, you thrive it motherhood, thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
But it was all of it, like it all.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Hit at the same time, and I honestly went back
and I asked my counselor what am my closest to
graduating in because originally I was going to be in
speech path and you can't. I mean, you can get
your degree, but you're gonna have to go back and
get your masters to even have a job as a
speech path. So you're looking at so I was like,
(29:44):
I'm not doing more. I'm not doing that. The year
that I started that program, they switched it after that
after my class and they switched the program, brought in
new professors and brought in new like like basically lifted
the whole course load, and they were like, your classes,
the class is going to have to basically like start
(30:05):
over because the class the classes that I took that
year weren't going to go towards because it was a
new program. If that makes sense. Okay, So then I'm like,
I'm like already a year behind technically, and I already
took these classes like neuroscience and like anatomy and physiology
and hearing and you know, sign language. I took all
(30:28):
these things and then it's like some of them account
someone you're gonna have to like go back and then
you're gonna have to get your master's scree and I'm
already behind because I took all a semester when I
was Miss Arkansas.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Okay, so how are we feeling?
Speaker 3 (30:39):
What I went I went to my accounselor and I
was like, tell me what can I graduate with? What
degree can I graduate with? Because I've been here four
and a half years, and it was like, I feel
like there's no end in sight, and all my friends
are leaving and it's really sad, and it was family
can sue sciences? I was like, great, sign me up,
(31:03):
let's do it, family, Let's do it. And at that point,
because of Miss Arkansas, I hate to say this, but
if anyone's out there struggling with their degree and like
their purpose in life, no one. I don't know a
lot of people that know that. There are maybe a
handful of weirdos out there that are fortunate enough to
be like since I was seven that I wanted to
(31:25):
do this.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
That's very cooch.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
I love that for them.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I know.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I always say, like, when you have that, God bless you.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
You are so lucky. I'm thirty three and I'm still
figuring it out, you know what I mean. And so
I but I'm not thirty three. I'm actually forty one.
Well you're like, you don't look it way ahead.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
You are crushing the game.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Oh wow, thank you? Yes, yes, So I I just
want to say, as an encouragement to anyone that's feeling
like wow, like this is like all for nothing, it's not.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
And all that stuff does pay off. Like even those
classes that you took that like you don't need, like
that all works in absolutely favor. Eventually, I took a
lot of good.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I don't I don't even want to call them extracurriculars.
But like I took finance, I took I took things
that I interested. I was genuinely like, this will better
my life.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yes, So I did that, and I think that just
to like add one more note to this to everyone listening,
like I do think when you are young, you think
that there's such a timeline and it's such a perfect
timeline and everything has a stop and it's like a
train track to get off on and like you got
to accomplish this by this age, this, by this age,
graduate college, fall in love, getting married, have a perfect career,
then have baby, never wanted, buy this, and like you
(32:31):
don't allow yourself any room for all the mess that's
gonna happen. But the mess is what the whole point is.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
That's why I had my podcast Expect Unexpected. It's like
you will literally never meet anyone whose life goes according
to what they planned, never ever. And if you look
into it, and this is what my podcast is about,
but if you look, you will find God in everything unexpected,
like you working God in those moments. So that's an encouragement,
(32:57):
just an aside, And.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Also your podc Yes is so good. It's like daily
devotionals too. It's like just that gives you what you
need to be like okay, and you're bringing in real
life stories and it's so good. I love it. I'm
so glad of me.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I'm so proud of you for doing such a champion
you know, well, you know what the same as you.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
It's like this world is dark, and when I now know,
I'm a light worker, and like you're a light worker,
and it's like when you meet other light workers, you
have to like get them to stay motivated because the
people who are working the dark are sure motivated. So
it's like when you're a light worker, you have to
stay motivated because you got to shine this light. And
you know, there's hope.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I love that you say that. Did you know that
a scientists have proven that a single candle glowing in
pitch black if you were to have binoculars because I'm
really blind and I couldn't see two miles away, but
you could see it with the naked eye from two
miles away, if if if everything was just pitch black,
(33:53):
you could see a single flightlight a candle, And I'm like,
that really represents being a light in a dark world,
and so you really feel like I'm just a single candle,
but for miles around, you don't know that you could
be like impacting someone. And there's a lot of people
that hopefully we will one day it will never know
about And that's fine.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
When I think I got past the point like it
was such a self journey for me for so long,
like I was such on a journey. I started this
podcast because I needed answers. I was like, how do
these people have life figured out? I'm so lost, Like
I don't know anything. I my self worth was low,
like and not due to anything other than life is
freaking so difficult.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
And I was looking for answers and I was.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
And there's a lot more media outlets now where people
can find great inspiration, but like kind of back in
the day when I started this, like eight years ago,
I just needed to talk to people who, like I
thought were crushing at life and for them to tell
me how they did it. And what I realized is
exactly what you said. Everyone's life has been unexpected, like
your podcast. Everyone's life has been crazy. Everyone has had
horrible moments of tragedy and pain. Some of them been early,
(34:51):
Like I have nervous notice. When people have early trauma,
that is a lot harder to overcome because you didn't
have another perception right that there wasn't trauma.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
Right, and so like that is that.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
But people who have to relearn how to live and
you have to really seek guides and teachers, and it's
easy not to because you don't have that guidance. But
people who do are like the game changers of the world.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
You know, And kudos to you because you started this
eight years ago. And this is not when podcasts were
a thing.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
No, I was like the first part Nashville. Yeah, yeah,
I know it's insane and I didn't know what I
was doing, but it was the same thing I had
trail Blazer. No, everything I've done has been out of
complete desperation, like literally hitting the rock and not knowing
what to do, but listening to God, which is like
I hit this moment where I was in a band.
I was actually like in Runaway June with my best
(35:37):
friend jin Way. I remember this and we nail me
who is the best voice in talent, And like God
just kept telling me, this is not your path, this
is not your path. I kept feeling so much resistance.
I've kept feeling so many roadblocks, but I was pushing
through because I was like, I am going to do this.
This is what I wanted, this is what I want.
I don't care that every part of my being is
rejecting this. I'm going to do this.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
But it wasn't good for anyone.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
And I was still so young that I didn't realize
that when your whole body is shutting it down and
you're getting resistance and you're feeling sick and like all
these things feel heavy and hard, that that is God
telling you no. But I had to have a few
moments where I pushed so hard against what God was
trying to tell me that it took me to a
panic attack. And finally I'm like, oh, okay, I'm like
(36:18):
freaking out so bad that I actually have to walk
away because my nervous system is shutting down. But I
pushed it so hard when I was young a couple
of times that now I feel and hear God so fast, right,
and I'm looking for him all the time.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Quicker obedience because yes, And I actually really like to
say because people are like, well, you know life's going well,
and you forget about like needing God. But I'm like,
if you didn't, like we wouldn't need a GPS, like
if we knew where we were.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Just because you generally know how the you know what
I means is mapped out. You still got to get
directions right every day, right, every You got to know
which road you're on right, and you got to be guided. Yes,
you have to listen for that guidance. And you're so
good at listening to that guidance and you can reroute
and you totally can.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Rad will change all things to the good for those
who are called and love him.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
You know. That's why, like I love I think people
are loving jelly Roll right now because like what a reroute,
you know, like doesn't everyone love to see an inspiration story?
And it's like that's why Shay like you know, and
I am all over the place right now we have
jump ship from where we started, you know.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
What, the coffee has entered the chat.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
So but it's like that's why I'm so inspired by
Shay as well, because he did a reroute and now
everything that wasn't on the route before is used as
a blessing, right you know, Well.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
It's kind of like that was God's original purpose, right,
Like he has a plan and a purpose for each
of us. He knew us, and he formed us before
the foundations of the world. He called us, and he
has good plans for us. But you know, we enter
this world and we're like, all right, what is our plan?
What do we want to do? Instead of being like,
my life is your Scott, I want to bring you
the glory, lead me where I should go wherever You're
(37:53):
trying to figure it out, even what we were talking
about the college route, like we're like we're like, oh,
I have to have it all figured out to have
it guy, I have to make this happen instead of
just like wait, God, guide me, So how do you
what do you want? God?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
So, if you were going back to that girl and
you because you always had a strong faith, but like
you know, sometimes you have to live into your faith. Okay,
So like now that you have deeply lived into your faith,
what would you go back and tell that girl who
was panicking in college, because now you'd come at a
different approach. I think, let me tell you it actually
came to me in that season because that's when you
started really walk darker the night.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
The brighter the stars. I really had to hit such
a low place.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
That's so many dark nights, man, and our stars are
so bright, you know, that's why it all pays off.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
But I hit a place where I was like, gosh,
am I about to be homeless. I all my friends
are gone.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I'm stuck. I don't have a plan.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
They're moving on, they're getting jobs, like some of them
are in relationships, getting engaged. Everyone's passing you by, everyone's
passing me by. I just got my heart broken, and
it was shredded before I even got it broken.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And the band aid just ripped off, right, and so
I was just like, what am I gonna do? You
were really really lost? That's when I rock bottom in
your world?
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Yes, And I was totally rock bottom, and I was like,
you know what, God, I'm down here and the only
place I can look is up.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Yeah. And so that's why, honestly, it's a kind of
a freedom when you hit the rock bottom.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
Oh, freeing when you can finally when you hit the
random over to God, because you're like, I don't have
anything left, no choice left, I'm just broken pieces. So
you just take take it and like, so don't be
scared of it.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
People when you get there, just no, God's finally freed you.
That's right, and you're finally but you have a choice
to make.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
You have to let go. I had my Bible and
I would read it occasionally, but like I didn't study
it and I didn't I'd never read it through, and
I'm not I grew up in church, so I knew
Bible stories, but I would just read in like the
Psalms and the Proverbs and like basically the things that
(39:53):
David wrote about being sad, like calling out to God.
I would just read those to give me comfort, like
that's that's where I was.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
But you weren't feeling it personally yet.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Well, I was just I was deeply depressed because again
I was like, what am I doing? I'm broken, I'm lost,
to be helmeless. I need to graduate, I need to
find a job after this. I don't even know what
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Because family, it's like your time was up to figure
it out, and now it's like here, you're supposed to
be moved on, but you haven't figured anything out yet,
and you think everyone has going back to no one has.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
And I actually talk to a lot of girls, women
on the podcast, and I feel like that point in
particular stressful right after college or like some point early twenties,
when you are exiting like an actual let's just call
it a like a I don't know, like.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
A structure, because school is a structure, and at least
you know like what you're doing every day, and then
you're out and you're in the real world.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
And that's when that's when, for the first time in
adult life, you're like, Okay, what matters, what's important? And
then you're living.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
You're also lost, like what have I picked?
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Just in it?
Speaker 3 (41:03):
And so that I feel like is a pivotal point
for so many people.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
And it's okay if you feel like you lose your mind,
hit a depression, kind of fall off the deep end
a little bit I did for lost.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
It's normal.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
It's very normal because it's a huge, huge, huge change,
and you got to give yourself grace in these transitions.
It's like transitioning into motherhood. You've got to give yourself
grace in these big transitions because it's a mess. This
is where I was, and.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
I just again hit my knees and God just started
like opening these doors and it was like slowly I
lived with my boss, who at the time I was
seventy two and no woman, Miss Joeanne. She's still so
dear to me and I love her heart.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Miss joe What was it like living with this show inn?
Speaker 3 (41:50):
I worked at a frame shop art gallery.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Stop it, because you're an artist you have a paint
room in your house and.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Forget you're so cool. But I built the picture frames.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Like splatter paint in your house and have a whole
whole room. I do all the things. Hannah, what an
expression of all your feelings. You should sell that art.
Let's get to that letter. We still got to talk
about coffee and now paint room. Yeah, don't forget. Well.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
I ended up living with Miss Joe Anne. Her husband
had just gone into the nursing home, and so she
was like in a transition period too.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Y'all needed each other, and she had so much to share.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I became Rami's and I already loved her. I'd worked
with her for three years through college, three or four
art store, and so and her little granddaughters were like
I saw them every day they'd come to the store,
and so I had my own room at her house,
and they were like, that's Miss Hannah's room and I
want chapter had shark tank every Thursday night and we
would get keish every Tuesday. And I mean truly, like
(42:42):
genuinely one of my dearest.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Friends, tell me how she healed you, because I know
that was a divine moment, because here she is on
the way out. Well, she's older, she's lived her life,
and here you are in the beginning, you are starting,
and she has all this to share and you have
all this to learn. I feel like she and I
were very much.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Together on in this, like she was there for me
and I was there for her, and we were equal parts.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Like y'all both really needed each other.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
We both did. But at the same time, she offered
me a safe and and honestly like happy place to
just rest while I was finishing up my degree. I
was helping her transition her shop to close it, to
move part of her stuff into her home.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
And she gave you a home. She gave me a home,
the home environment of love.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
It was a home and a friendship and we'd go walk.
But during that time, what a gift.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
See God never messes up, He.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Doesn't mess up. And during that time, I was so
in my I was so in the word. And I
actually remember some of my friends being like, I would
be freaking out right now. I would be panicking, like
I feel like you're not. And I actually remember googling
this is funny how to know when you have the
peace of God, and you know, different stuff would come up.
(44:06):
But I'm like, I'm living in Like if anyone saw
me from the outside, like my friends, they'd be like, oh,
like I would be spiraling. I was living in God's
hand and I knew, like I for the first time
was just like I had surrendered it. Like you said,
(44:26):
I had given it all to him. I was. I
was just living in that and I was allowing him
to just hold me in that space. And Miss show
Anne was a part of that. And then I ended
up getting a job out you know, in northwest Arkansas,
and the rest came and I already knew someone that
lived up there, so I started paying rent for that apartment,
(44:51):
so I knew where I was going, I knew who
I was gonna live with. Finished living with Miss Shoe
in a finish up school, and then I moved up there.
So pieces were falling into place, very very like peacefully yes.
And it was during this time that I kind of
meet Shae Ish, He's like reached out, but again, I'm
like me and Jesus, I don't need anyone.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
He like reached out to you on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Facebook, I think it was Twitter at first.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Okay, yeah, okay, so he just found you in the
orbit and found me and shot you a message then.
But he wasn't Shay from Dan and She at that point.
Was he even Dan and Shaye? Yeah? Yeah they were.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
They were, but they're going so new they were babies.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
He sent me like he was like, check out our
music video. And it was like a YouTube video maybe
of them like singing on a log by a creek.
I don't even I don't even know what song it was.
And I was just like cool, but I mean you're like,
damn that voice. No, I don't think I listened to it.
I was so off of anything and anyone. I didn't
know his music. I didn't know any of it. He
(45:49):
would he would like message on my Instagram pictures of
like my dogs.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Occasionally it was like so subtle, like he would write
a message on your dog be.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Like I love those dogs. You have those on our
farm too. Those dogs are so sweet and it was
never like a selfie of me or you know, it
was never anything that was like you like, it was
just he was just like coming in so subtle and
was just like, let me know that he's.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
There, but a little sweetest. He's the sweetest, isn't he?
He really is and sweetest, have the funniest.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
He is the funniest.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Like you laugh all the time.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Listen if you are married and that person does not
make you laugh, but she is like in a.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Level of his own self. True. I mean he's every
time I see him, even just for a second, I'm laughing,
and not just like laughing, I'm like having to hold
my sides.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
I laugh so hard. We'll tell you though, it does
become like I'm chopped liver in our home because when
Daddy comes home, it's like a cool parent is home,
the fun funny, cool person is home, and I'm glad my.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Kids have that. But then it makes me feel like
I'm feeling this for the first time, Hannah, because like
and I'm jumping ship all over again, so like I'm sorry,
my coffee is eighty D. But like I want to
talk to you about this is why you have all
the answers you know all the things I don't. I'm
still figuring it out. Sunny and I have been bff forever,
and I'm not saying everything's changed. This has been two
days and I'm like crying in the bathroom putting on
my makeup to day because Sunny woke up and she said, Mom,
(47:09):
I want to have a daddy daughter day with Dad,
and I want to go get my nails done. They
went and got a blowout, hair blowout, both excluded, got
her nails done, went for a walk, and she did
not want me to come and like she has only
wanted me to be everywhere forever. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm so happy, like and did all the pigs. I
love all the thing about a blowout nails and I
(47:31):
was like, I'm so happy for you. Oh go have that, Daddy.
I was crying in my bathroom getting put makeup on
today because I'm like, she told me again today she said, Mom,
dad and I are gonna go for a walk and
we're gonna have a daddy daughter day today. And I
was like, what happened to me? And she loves me anymore?
And I literally I'm checking myself. I'm like a forty
one year old woman over here crying because my daughter
(47:52):
wants to have a daddy daughter day, which I love.
But I'm like, it's she's turning five. I'm like, are
you you don't need me anymore?
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Listeners. Oh this is good, this is good for her.
And I know I'm just gonna tell you this because
this happened like a week ago. I suggest we got
fishing poles for the boys, and you.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Got three boys, so that might they're gonna love their
mom so much. But then also, Dad's probably the coolest
that ever was.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
Yeah, okay, well let me just tell you some like fun,
really sad stuff down the line that's gonna make you
feel better as a girl mom. So I'll just hold
on for that one. And I'm gonna really give you
a line of hope. But we got them all the
stuff to go fishing, and we went one evening and
then like the next time Shaye got back off the road,
He's like, take the boys fishing, and I was like cool,
(48:35):
Like I was ready to go with him. And I
was like it's gonna be family memories and and and
it just ended up being Shay.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
And the boys and I how did it just end
up being shaded. How did you get that message? That memo?
Are you and your like camp?
Speaker 3 (48:50):
I was like, do you want mommy to go too?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
And they were like no. And I was like, oh this,
take a bath myself and enjoys some quiet.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
Okay, but I had so hard I had to check
myself same because okay, it was just the two big boys.
I had the baby, because pond and a baby doesn't
they don't remember, right, but I sure seven aims is four.
And I had to check myself because I was like, no,
they need they need, I know, time with their daddy,
(49:21):
I know, without me, agreed, without me, hovering, without me,
like telling him not to step in the mud, without
me whatever.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
But I've always been the one to say you need that,
and then they go have their time. But now for you,
as a child, to initiate.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
I packed the car for them. I thought, who would
plan the daddy daughter it's before and send them on
their way. But now she's asking for them. Yes, that's
a difference. This is good okay, and I'm gonna I'm
so happy about it.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
I'm so happy. Here's your line of hope. Okay. I
started reading is it raising boys? And girls. You know,
Dave David and Sissy Goff and David Great Resources for
Raising g Resources and they've got a podcast and like
all the things. But I was reading the Raising Boys
(50:07):
book and I had to stop reading it because I
got to the point where it was like the first
few years, you know, their babies, they're sweet, they need
their mom. And then there's the the years where they're
called they're called something, and it's like the like the lovers,
like the lover Stage lover, where they literally like love
(50:29):
their mom. I just want to like snuggles embarrassed to
you the sweetest. It ends at like eight.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Okay, so you're getting very basically.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
In the book it says is without saying it, but
it's like they leave mom and go to dad and
they'll never return.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
And that's like my interpretation of it. But I had
to stop reading it because I was like, they're all
gonna leave me. And then I got panicky not another.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Baby, because I'm like, oh, my goodness, is like I
have all boys and they're all gonna like grow up
and leave me.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
And like get married and then I'll never see my grandchildren.
And that's how it spirals. Okay, and so you know,
this is where I went to just make them. But
I was like, Sonny already loves She's been touring with
Michael now and she loves it.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
She loves the band.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
I'm like, Oh, she's gonna get old enough where she
can be self sufficient. And she's like, Mom, don't come
on the road with me and dad. It's gonna be
me and dad. And then she's gonna start singing opening
for him, and then they're gonna be on the road
together as plans and she's like, not gonna need Mom anymore.
And I'm just gonna be back at the house crying. Yeah,
that's where I am.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
The boys have made plans too. Shay's like, when the
boys get a little older, I'm gonna start taking them
on the road.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
And terrible idea that is, who's gonna watch them. I'm like,
you've got.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Sound check, You're gonna be out there exactly anyway. I'm
like already panicking, I know, but SHA's like already excited
about it.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
But it switches, doesn't It where like Mom, because here
we are with all this love to give, just nurturing, nurturing, nurturing,
just kissing your face and holding you and just being
with you twenty for seven everything you need to love
you so much, and then they hit five and then
they're ready to go. They don't need you anymore. Yeah,
but she'll We're being so dramatic right now, but thank
you for letting me be able to be this dramatic,
(52:14):
because that's how I felt when I was switting on
my makeup today. She will come back to you because
she's your girl. And I don't know.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
I've got other girlfriends that have daughters and got I've
talked to moms across the board of all ages, and
I feel like the daughters always come back.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
And then she hasn't left. To be fair, she still
totally loves me. She's just like, can't drive. She's just
loving dad still, which is great. All these are really
great things. Yes, it's just you're not ready for him
because it happens like.
Speaker 3 (52:39):
Over, not just an emotional separation if you will. But
she will come back.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
And the thing is, too, we both have cool husbands
and so like as your kids learn that their dad
is so cool and like has such a cool life
and hangs out with cool people and does these fun things,
like the older they get, we have to offer, I know,
and cheese I'm gonna give you back and cheese like
at the cool I'm introverted to.
Speaker 3 (53:06):
So I'm like, I really can offer you all my love,
literally just food and all my love, a quiet home,
you know.
Speaker 2 (53:14):
What, though not quiet right now. But here's the thing.
One day, here's the thing. It is so wonderful and
it is so great, and it is so healthy, and
this is such great things to have, and what great
growing pains that we have these beautiful children who are
so loved by their family. But I mean, it is,
it's just like every little moment it's and I was
thinking to myself, like, oh my god, you think it's
gonna be one way forever, and it immediately changes, like
you just have to keep you can't wish it away,
(53:36):
you can't. You just have to give everything you have
in the moment.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
It's so tangible to me right now because Abram is
eighteen or nineteen months old, and he really looks a
lot like Asher, like baby Asher, and so they'll be
sitting side by side and Asher's seven and then Abram is,
you know, one and a half years old, and even
their profiles, like everything looks the same, and so it's
almost like in one picture, like you see it and
(54:01):
you just like see, like.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
How fast six years in a blink of an eye,
and it is.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
It's really sad, but it also makes you savor it more.
Like Shane out often are like, gosh, it goes it's
going so fast, and Aims is four, and I'm like, gosh,
I love four, Like I love this age and it's
it's it's like bittersweet, but it's also giving you a
living time stamp of the years as you're watching each
(54:28):
of your children like grow and and like seeing how
exciting you know, a new birthday is. Asher actually called
me out on it the other day and he was like, Mommy,
do you get sad when we have birthdays because we're
growing up? And I literally started to like tear up.
This is bedtime, and I was like, I do, baby,
But also I was like, it is the privilege of
(54:50):
a lifetime that she grew up. Like it does make
mommy sad, but also it could like I could be
more proud did I get to see this? You know,
God forbid. You know that her parents out there that
don't get to see their baby.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
That's why it's the privilege of a lifetime and you
have to be in the moment.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Yeah, we knew we'd need the tissues, didn't we have
a tissue?
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yes, thank you Vox. I thought we were gonna get
through this podcast and no tears were almost at the end.
But I do have to circle back because I went
all over the place because I just knew I had
so much I wanted to do for Rabbit Trail, but
I like, I love a rabbit Trail. So just coming
back to college and Miss joe Anne freaking Angel on Earth,
you move out God. Your life was enshambled. You're falling apart, depressed,
like what is gonna happen? I'm just recapping you find
(55:36):
God in the moment you fully surrender, Miss Joanne the
Earth Angel comes in and now you're on your way.
You're moving to an apartment with a friend and you're
feeling peaceful. I am.
Speaker 3 (55:44):
I mean, I'm still still looking for that job.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
You know.
Speaker 3 (55:47):
It's around this time that I message Shay and I
was like, do you ever play in Arkansas? This was
on a Saturday night and he texts me.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
That will funny.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
I'll be there tomorrow, he said, Wednesday in that town,
literally in that town.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
That God is just working it out girl.
Speaker 3 (56:03):
At George's Majestic. And again, in all this time, it's
been almost ten years, he's played Arkansas twice and we're
coming back and I'm so excited. Next week is the
Arkansas show. It's like the Amphitheater in Rogers, and so
it's gonna feel like a full circle moment that they
will be in Arkansas because it's I just want to
(56:25):
say for perspective that in almost ten years, he was
in Arkansas twice. And it was three days from the
day that I was like, when do you play Arkansas?
God is working at you know, the tour sets like
they're all over the country and there's circuits.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
And he's not like flexible dates.
Speaker 3 (56:41):
It's booked right and you may like hit a city
like once a year. Okay, so you see him?
Speaker 2 (56:47):
So I see him.
Speaker 3 (56:48):
Well, it's the first time we'd ever met and i'd
never heard him, not familiar with anything they'd done, not
a fan. I actually told him, and I've told this
story but for but I was like, how much are tickets?
Because I didn't have my job yet, was still job hunting,
so broke, and he was like, I don't know, like
thirty dollars and I was like, I can't go. I'm
(57:09):
not going. I can't I'm not going. I'm broke. And
he was like, well, how many tickets do you need?
And so I got two and so me and my
girlfriend went and he looked for me the whole set.
Where were they playing, uh, Georgia's Majestic.
Speaker 2 (57:23):
Oh at George's Majestic.
Speaker 3 (57:24):
Okay, it's like a club, right, yes, And it was
on Dixon and so he's like looking for me and
I'm perchaed up high so I can like see him
looking for me.
Speaker 2 (57:35):
And what were you feel when you saw him singer?
You're like, okay, okay, fine, it was good. You had
to know that voice was like spectacles.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
I mean, it really was, and it wasn't. It wasn't
until he started singing this edge sheering cover, what's the
what's the Evergreen?
Speaker 2 (57:51):
Yeah? And you're like, oh, he's singing that to me.
Speaker 3 (57:52):
He sang that, and I was like, and I again
never would have admitted to him that. I was like, dang,
and I'm like pretty picky anyway with music, but I
was like, huh.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
That's real good.
Speaker 3 (58:06):
He asked me to come to his best and so
after the show, I was like, okay, well security was
giving me a hard time, and then I got miffed
because I was like, I'm not even a fangirl.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
I don't even want to be here. I don't even
want to be here, and now I have to get security.
This is annoying.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
And my girlfriend was like, show them the text messages,
show them the text message, and I was just like
too prideful, and I was like no. I was like,
I'm not a fangirl. And they're literally like, you have
to get off the property. You can't be here. And
so finally Shae came and got us and brought us
on the best.
Speaker 2 (58:38):
Because so what was the moment when you met Shae?
Because he's having to rescue you from his security, which
is great, he had good security, but he should have
let them know you're coming. I mean, I'm a little
so we're a little annoyed.
Speaker 3 (58:47):
I found out that it's because he was hosting literally
his whole family.
Speaker 2 (58:51):
So did you meet the whole family too, his mom
and dad and sister. You meet everybody at the same time.
Speaker 3 (58:55):
Brother in law, not all of them, but like a chunk,
good chunk.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
So you and I had met Shae and the whole
family all the same time.
Speaker 3 (59:01):
Didn't know his whole family was there. And this is
also when they're all on one bus, so it's like
band and crew. There's thirteen guys on a bus, right,
and then.
Speaker 2 (59:10):
His family's also on the bus, so you're all cramped
in there, and one of his buddies is on the bus,
and then me and my girlfriend are on the bus.
So yeah, that's how y'all met. So you're like pack sardines.
Was there like music on people drinking or was it
calm and sit down de mirror? Did they say mostly calm? That?
Speaker 3 (59:23):
I mean his parents like we like not drinking bunch,
but like the band, you know.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
It just a chill though.
Speaker 3 (59:29):
She wasn't like a crazy environment. It wasn't.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
So who are you talking to? You? Are you talking
to the mom? You're talking to Shaye, like what's happening?
Speaker 3 (59:34):
You remember sitting down?
Speaker 2 (59:35):
You feeling nervous?
Speaker 3 (59:35):
His mom? And I was just like, I did not
sign up for any of it, told them that no, no,
I was just I don't even remember what we visited about,
but Shy asked me to go to the ACM.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
Kind of nice that that you just knocked meeting the
parents out of the way. I mean, I guess, and
you fell in love with his sisters. I did love
his sisters because y'all are likesties. Oh yeah, you kind
of had a jackpot there.
Speaker 3 (59:57):
He invited me to the ACMs and I said, no,
why me, and Jesus, I'm not interested, which is not
my type?
Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Why not? It just was not my type?
Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
And with all I'd been through, the last thing in
the world I wanted was to be with someone who
is in an industry that presented temptation and like lifestyles
that I.
Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Was like trying to get away from. Yeah, fair, fair, fair.
Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
I'm from Arkansas. We don't even have a stoplight in
my town. I was happy to go home to my
white pick of pens, my farmer husband.
Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
You weren't signed up for like millions of adoring fans
and temptation all around and him being gone yeah so often? Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
So I said no. But then he asked me again
when he walked me to the car, and I said,
I'll go as your friend.
Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
So the first time he met you, who asked you
the a SAMs Yes, in.
Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Front of everyone? What the heck about pressure?
Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
In front of everyone, like he's proposing? Does that? Wait,
Hannah Billingsworth, Wait Billingston was your name?
Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Billingsley?
Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Hannah Billingsley, will you go to the SAMs with me?
It's like no.
Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
He literally looked around and he was like, hey, guys,
I think I should Inviteter to the ACMs.
Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
And I was just like, as if this night you
could not get more into I know, And this is
a Sidebarb's intense first meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Yes have you do you have thoughts about people that
propose in front of large groups of people because.
Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
Oh maybe like there there's aul terror motives and it's
not just genuine that is worst case scenario. Okay, what
were your thoughts about someone who proposes in front of
his whole family the first night you meet someone?
Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
Well, he didn't propose.
Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
He proposed that you join him to the ACM and
I was just like laugh at all.
Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
And so then he asked again and I told him
I would go as his friend, but I literally told
him it was me and Jesus and that I wasn't
interested in dating, not just him, but like anyone. Yeah, yeah, anyway,
and so then yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Then you fell in love with ASAMs when did y'all
fall in love?
Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Well, I did fall in love with the sisters of
the Asms because they were there. So you're like, okay,
really bonded. Like we went out to dinner one night
and it was Shay and his two sisters and me
and Erica and Gabby had the best time.
Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
You're like, okay, Okay, I could see this forever.
Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I think that like knowing them now, they one hundred
percent were like vetting me for their brother, but I
wasn't interested in their brother, and.
Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
So it's a perfect man.
Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
I just had like a good girl's time. And yeah,
and again I've shared this million times, but I tried
to scare him off that weekend because he was like,
I really want to date you, and I was like, look,
I've been through too much. I'm not I don't care
for games. Like next man I date, I'm gonna marry him,
(01:02:28):
and he's.
Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Gonna lay it on the table, sister. Yeah, I was like,
he's gonna So you know this is where I stand
in the story.
Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Yeah, I was like, I was like, he's gonna lead
our family in Christ. We're gonna raise our babies to
like love Jesus and and this is like what you
say to someone to scare them off right, like you're not.
He's just like, I am up for the challenge. I
think he was twenty three at the time and just
starting getting mussion and so I was like, this will
get rid of him.
Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Yeah, and he said sign me up.
Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Literally it was just like his face lit up and
I my friend. After this conversation, I was like, crap,
I think he loves me. Like in that moment, I
was like, oh crap.
Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
I was like no.
Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
And I think what scared me the most is I.
Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Felt God going like this nudging you towards sending me
out of my little nest that I had made over
the last year. And he sure threw you out though,
huh he did. You've seen the whole world, the girl
coaster of Shay, huh.
Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
I have seen any things, so many things, a lot
of good, a lot of bad, a lot of in between.
Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Tell me the high and tell me the low because
we got to wrap up forward the end. But tell
me the highs like the best of the best of
Shay and tell me the loaves and aren't that low's
but like where they've led you to now?
Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
Because he had a big breakthrough yeah, he did. I've
again been really candid. You can probably find this all over,
but we shared a lot. We've shared our whole story.
I love that. And I'm actually super proud of him
because it's it takes a real man to be transparent. Yes,
it does about the things that they struggle with or
have you know, dealt with or noticed that needed to
(01:04:01):
change right and then change even the awareness of it.
And and Shay has done that. And I'm just so
proud because I've received many messages and I know that
he's received so many messages from men that are like me,
and thank you for sharing that. It's changed my life
and it's it's given me hope to know that like, hey,
I'm not alone, I'm not the only one, and that
(01:04:21):
I can turn it around. And it wasn't everything, and
it wasn't Shaye, it was it was like it was
like it was God like getting Shay to this place.
So why did he know he needed to turn stuff around?
It was a culmination of things. It was like health
and anxiety and panic attacks and we had our second baby.
(01:04:42):
COVID happened. That was hard for all artists mentally. They
were about to start tour, got poolled.
Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
Is that when Dana Shay almost broke up to no
it was like after that, the aftermath, the hall just compounded.
Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
Yea. I was maybe two years after that, Okay, they
were This is a fun fact. They were one of
I think nine artists nine tours that actually went on
that year or the following year after COVID because everything
shut down for COVID.
Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
And it was really sad because they were about to
their first arena tour and they had really busted throughly.
Speaker 3 (01:05:13):
They did two weekends. It was like the Arena Tour,
the Arena tour, it was such a big deal, and
they did there. They had two back to back shows
at Bridgestone in town. Ames was two weeks old and
like brand new, and then they like went the next
weekend to a show and the show literally got canceled
(01:05:34):
in the world shutdown. So I was happy during this
time because I had someone newborn and a toddler and
came home for the first time, so I was happy.
He was really trying to figure out a lot, and
he again he talks about this, and he talks about
this moment and he cries and I cry when he
shares it. But like of like he's got you know,
(01:05:56):
a grammy sitting up on the mantle and we've got
all these things. But likea like toddler Asher runs by
and he's like, Daddy, chase me get my tickles. And
she's just like, man, what am I chasing? You know,
like I've got the grannies, I've.
Speaker 2 (01:06:16):
Got oh my DearS were gone, and he's.
Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Just like, what am I chasing? And I think that,
I mean, I know that was a pivotal.
Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Moment when there's a little boy that loves me with
anything that was.
Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Yeah, and like they just care that you're there, you know,
And so it was really a culmination and that was
like one moment for him, and there were a few
others even in our marriage because it was really hard.
Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
And also just like this, Michael gave up drinking and
I know shaded too and has she still continued to
so is Michael. And it's like when you are in
this career, you don't even know you're drinking a lot,
because like everyone, it's a party, you're on tour, you're
having breakfast mimosas, you're having a lunch meeting with a cocktail.
I mean, it's just NonStop and it reeps up on you.
(01:07:00):
You don't even realize that you're then.
Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
You need more and more and more to even feel anything.
Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Exactly, and it's just the lifestyle that's just happening, and
it just kind of swallows you up sometimes it does.
Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
And it really turned into coping and like escapism. And
there was a point where I think that he realized,
like this is this is gotta stop.
Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
But good for him. And I will say this just
like for so many guys like Michael kind of had
the same thing. It wasn't like it was like a
huge awful moment. It wasn't like it's just not working
right and I'm not evaluating my life and I just
don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
Like I've checked out in my life why And like
it's like taking the time to be self aware enough
to be like okay, and that's that's hard work. Like
I did a we did a marriage intensive at on
site no okay, and but we did it with another couple.
It was a two Christian like husband and wife like
(01:07:57):
counselor pairs, and so we would come in with him
every day. And I was so excited about it because
I was like, we're going to fix all of Shay's problems.
Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Hannah. Yes, I feel like we are about to dive
into a whole new topic that is going to take
us to the depths of our souls, which I cannot
wait to get into. But we alread in an hour. Okay,
so are you down too? I don't feelve we can stop.
I feel like we have to keep going. Can you
stick around for a part two?
Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
I'm ready, let's do this.
Adam Adam, Carol Lone, she's a queen and talking song.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
She's getting really not afraid to feel tenisol and soul.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Just let it flow.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
No one can do we quiet. Caryl Lone is so
of Carolne. Okay great, I'm so glad we're rolling because
I am having the most fun with Hannah Mooney. Oh
my gosh, welcome back.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
You were here six years ago, six years I know,
And I feel like I just saw you like a
few weeks ago the hair salon, but you only don't
get to catch up like you want to the hair salon,
No I know. And also you're just looking crazy, but
at least it's like amongst.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Other women looking crazy, all on her hair, laying back,
you know, talking at the sink, b washing it out.
Where else are you gonna hang out? When you got
all these kids? Fourth is on the way.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
It's true. When do you have one second to hang
out anybody? Not a lot, not a lot, not adult
time anyway.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
You're killing me though, because first off, you're just a bombshell.
Oh you're gorgeous, and you're hysterical, and you're just so
freaking real and you're momming so hard, right, now. I mean,
you're in full force mom mode, mom era.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Why can out look like a dream?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Though? Now?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I said, if I stood up, y'all would know that
I look like a pregnant pirate today. I like have
my piratey sleeves and like my high waist, but you
can't really see the bump, but it's there.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
But you're you're such a style icon and it's such
your own style, which I love, even pregnant.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I mean, I was in a.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Freaking stretch dress every day and had one that I
wore so much it ripped on the side and I
still wore.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
It because I like this. There's so judgment here. Leave
your judgment at the door of my house. Okay, I
told you when I got out of my car that
my pain. We'll talk about that a minute.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Give over. What kind of car was? Here? Comes handed
driving up in a minivan. I die, Oh my gosh,
you're bringing it mini. I have been screaming that minivans
are the coolest, most functional, smartest you and Shay.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
They make so much sense.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's the stigma.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Shae has been on the minivan for years and I'm
absolutely not well cool.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
He's cool.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
He knows he can drive the minivan to the point
where he like hyped it up last year two years ago,
and Asher was like, why can't we get a minivan?
And then asking and lady accused me of thinking that
I wanted to drive my car because it's a cool
popular car.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
What is your car? It's it's a Denali. Oh that
is a cool popular car.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
No, And I'm like, well, you're not wrong, and he
and I was just like, I'm gonna remind you this
when you're eighteen and you get and that's your first car.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
How about when you turn sixteen, ash Er, you will
be driving this cool But I'm just for it. I'm
just gonna say, there is no cooler car than a minivan.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
It makes so much.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Sense the deal.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I will get behind the practicality of a sliding door
because when you have kids, they bang the doors open
into everything so that I can get behind. Also has
a built in vacuum cleaner, so.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
That's neat, and you can like fully swivel a chairs
in their store underneath it.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Does It does have a lot of I means for days,
nothing to do with the purchase. Shae was like, do
you want to help, and I was like, I don't
care what you get. And he came rolling down the
driveway and I.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Was like, just so he just bought it.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
He literally just like called the dealership and.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I love Okay everyone Dan is Dan and Shay. This
is Shae. You know, Vocal House for Days, total superstars.
That's how you know you're cool when you have to
hide the minivan from your wife because you're so cool
that you're like, I don't even care. It's the practicality
makes so much sense. I mean, he is a confident dude.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
The boys like they were out at the pool, I think,
and he would They were like, Daddy, when the minivan
gets here, please come pick us up. And they went
joy riding in it. They literally went to Chick fil
A and like took it around town.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And I was like, you know, your adulting, win win.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I'm not to that level. I don't think I will
ever force into it. Like I don't even recognize me
in the carpool line anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
You know who am I any even mirror like Hannah's Like,
I know I never would have I can never have
seen myself in this medio va.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
But you know what, it makes so much sense. It does.
It's a new layer of confidence. And to be fair,
I do still have my car, and I'm like, this
is my mom car now, and as soon as I
clean it, then we can like transfer all the like
trash and like children things to the van. That does
make me feel then your mom car will stay cool.
That's right. So I can purchase all my home good
things and like have lots.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Of room for it. And when you have an outing
for yourself, like coming to a podcast, you take.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Your clean mom car.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Your Genali that you love did not do today because
she has a flat so she really let me down.
She really let me down.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Shade's got like a honeydow list. When he comes home
off the road, I'm like, can you go get new
tires for the car? He's in Florida right now? What's
he doing? Touring? Okay, so the they're on a tour
heartbreak on the map tour. I had to think about it.
They're going across the whole map. Yes, I did first
leg in the spring and this is like the summer amphitheater,
(05:00):
so it's been fun. Okay, Oh yeah, come on in.
I have a low voice.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You do have a low you could have been a
phone operator, not that you ever would have gone ou route,
because you love God more than anyone I know.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
But I'm just saying, you have that good voice. Oh,
thank you. I used to hate it when I was
a child. I was like, do I sound like a man,
But no, it's just like a lower voice. It's beautiful.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
And you're so sweet, Like you're so kind. Like when
I hear you talk, I just feel better. Oh you
are so kind, you are.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
You are just an encourager to just speak the truth.
It's why you have a show, because you can sit
down with anyone and be like.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I see I see all the greatness in people, Like
I've always studied people, and I've always been very intrigued
by people, and I like, I can just see people.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's a double edged short though, because you like see
the best and then you can like glaze over the
bad stuff. It's at least at least when you're dating, right,
that's what I mean. Right, we're past that, I know,
but God, right, but there were seasons where I was like, well,
I see the good and then it really gets you
crushed biting them in the back. Okay, so he's in Florida.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
He's in Florida and Dan and Shaye, Man, what a
ride you've been there from the beginning. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
They almost hung it up for a minute.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Did Shae had life a huge lifestyle changed?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
She did. He had a health journey. Health journey we've had,
like a marriage journey. It's just been can we kind
of go on that journey? Well, you can go on
any of it. Let's start the journey. Man, chow choo,
I'm here.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Where do you want to start? So you met Shae
because the last time we talked to you, we talked
about your love story.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Yes, how y'all met the Majestic? What is the Majestic?
Georgie's George's Majestic in Fateville. Are there random meeting? No?
So I texted him on a Saturday night. I texted him, Well,
how did you know he existed? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
And did you this? By the way, we knew of
each other for a couple of years.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
He had messaged me. Oh, so all met online? Yes,
So we're both from Arkansas and so you know when
you're from the same like.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Stay extra creepy. No, a random meeting.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I was miss Arkansas, USA, and so.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I don't breeze past that you were.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Of course you were Miss Arkansas, USA. Well, Hannah, we
tell the story and he that's huge, Well it was.
That was a whole Miss USA.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I did.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I competed. Is that why your friends in this universe?
I have a lot of friends that are friends I do,
which is so funny because I'm a tomboy and I
grew up like barefoot, playing all the sports and I
never liked pink and I got talked into doing a
pageant my freshman year of college. You're like your rowing No.
(07:34):
So these are all fun facts here, and I can
get on a soapbox about it. I competed in the
America system for a few years. America requires talent. Talent
sections are ninety seconds long of performance value and they
are worth the majority of your score. Now, this is
your talent really determines if you're the one sure and
(07:55):
it and that just feels a little like heavy when
you you also do interview and all the other things.
And I felt like interview and on stage question should
be like your speaking abilities should be worth more, just
in my humble opinion, But who am I didn't create
the system, and I think the scoring system has changed.
This has been a while and I finally had a
(08:18):
woman tell me one time because I sang you saning
I did and it wasn't good. No, I'm not a singer.
I just could not do anything else in ninety seconds,
Like I don't have a rhythmic bone in my body.
I was not going to try to dance or tap.
Tapping is big in Arkansas. Tapping is huge.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It is.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
One of my girlfriends is a tapper and she's insane.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Where do they tap?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I don't know, Like they have like the dance schools.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
What do you do with it after you become the tapper?
I don't know. There are these grown adult tappers.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I don't know. I need to cole Sloan and ask her.
She's actually teaching little girls how to tap? Now, okay,
I love it anyway. Arkansas is fun. It is fun
and it's like I do tell people this, It's like
the sec of pageantry, like you are in the South
and it is. It is like cutthroat. It is tell
(09:08):
me more so serious. And Arkansas is like a top
producer eager, yeah, oh a lot or young.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Eighteen nineteen twenty.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Arkansas is like a top producer of like Miss America.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I feel that Actually, yeah, I feel like Miss Arkansas
is always like a total like.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Oh a ten, it's it's a big deal.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Okay, you're like.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Really put through the ringer. It's very political though. I
felt like, I know, shocking, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
How so.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
It just feels like give us the tea it is.
I can't. I don't.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I don't want to keep some of it wrapped up
still your pageant codes.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I actually got into it because I was like, you know,
what worst they can do is say you lost, And
the best that can happen is I can win scholarship money,
and I'm all about like helping put myself through school.
We talked about my cows six years ago. I think
because I had cattle because I grew up on a farm.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Anyway, she's beauty, she's grace, she can you are that song?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yes? So I competed and I finally had a mom
or aunt someone of another contestant walk up to me
and she was like, oh, honey, you are so beautiful.
You should consider USA because they don't require talent. And
I have heard a thing because honestly, thank you. I
(10:26):
was just like, okay, because here's the thing in Arkansas.
And it's not like this in every state, but it
is very The two systems, America and USA are very like.
They do not they.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Are like montagues and capulas.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
That's exactly it. And so if you switch over and
do together, let's not go there, you will never be
welcome back. He will be you know, blackballed if you
switch over. So I was like, after my last a
competition in like were the title of Miss Arkansas in
the America system, I was like, I won like a few,
(11:06):
like preliminary things, but I was like, I'm never gonna
win if I can't win talent, and I'm not I'm
never gonna win talent. I'm back to that lady's words.
So I was like, you know what, I'm already fit.
I've already prepared for.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Years already in the system. Keep it going, witch over and.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Do USA, and like whatever the Lord wills, that's fine,
But this is my last pageant.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
And we did.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I didn't even tell people I was in it. And
then I one no.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
One Miss Arkansas, USA, So now you're about to miss USA.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Miss USA. No one was more shocked than like me
and my mom. We didn't tell people I was in
it because that was gonna be my last pageant.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I'm so glad that you weren't like living and dying
and breath and killing yourself.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
And that's probably why I won, because I wasn't a
pageant patty, because that's what they call them, and they're
just overly trained and they say everything that they're supposed
to say. And I genuinely yes, and I genuinely went
into it just being like, this is my last goal,
Like I'm just here for the memories, and it's incredible.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
How did you get so laid back about it with
all that pressure. I'm not.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
It's just that again, I didn't grow up in that,
so I wasn't like born and bred to compete in pageants.
I was like, if I win, I will win like
a full ride tuition, I will win scholarship money. It
will be amazing and it will be Here's the thing.
It's such a good experience because you do learn interviewing
skills right, and speaking skills and how to carry yourself
(12:32):
like there's just so many benefits. And I always encourage
a lot of my younger cousins have been competing over
the years because I competed, and it is. It is
an amazing way to polish yourself and ready yourself for
the real world.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I feel like so many people would be so anti
that now they're like, wow, oh, I mean just just
look at the system.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
They're like, no, you can't do swimsuit anymore because it's sexist.
And I'm like, we signed up for this.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah, right, you knew what you were getting into, right,
And honestly, like, as long as it's well rounded, like
you're talking, brains, you're talking. It's not just like how
you look, but it's your talent, your brains, and why
not at Myer some beauty.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Listen, they have Myer Beauty listen to this. When I
got to as long as a woman is like here
for it. Right when I got to Miss USA, even
though according to the other system, USA doesn't require talent,
I was surrounded by these women that were literally like
working for NASA and attorneys and like just brilliant women,
(13:33):
insane women. And it was just an honor to be
like representing my state and to be surrounded by other
women who are like doing these things.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
And what's wrong with being the total full package?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, it's a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Sure, but there's a small group I people want to
go to Miss USA who can do all of it, Yes,
like yourself, Hannah.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Oh wow, I do a lot of things now and
none of it's patricks.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh well, sorry, I kind of like almost broke my
tailbum but it's fine, So I.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Just clear r.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
It's just awesome. What what was it like though? Behind
the scenes, because you see all of like the horror stories,
but like, what was because I feel like you took
good stuff from it?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
But what was the horror and the highlight? I took
good stuff from it because I be bopped into it
being like I have no business being here. I didn't
even think I would win.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Perfect mindset. So I hope that.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I meet like awesome girls and and it's true, a
few of them like my bridesmaids. I've been bridesmaids in
their wedding. Like we're now like having children together. One
of my best friends has three little girls and they're
all stairstat between our three boys, and it's just been
so fun. But we went into it being like, this
is an experience, this is once in a lifetime. We
(14:45):
don't actually think we're gonna take the crowd.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
It sounds like I was twenty one. So really there's
two mindsets. One where it's like this is what you eat, breathe,
live and die for. And one is like, Okay, awesome opportunity.
I'm gonna go as hard as I can, but let
it be an experience.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Because there was actually a group and we call them
the Mean Girls, and I won't name the states, but
they were They were really intense and I could tell
you so many stories because we were locked in. This
is when Trump still owned the system, and so it
was in Vegas and it was like three weeks of
(15:18):
us being there and they would take us around for
three weeks and we would film. We would film things
for like b roll and commercials and all of this stuff.
So for three weeks we would wake up at like
five am, six a m.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
And be full here and.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Make up, leave at seven, do rehearsals, do all these things.
And we had we were locked on like two floors.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Thank you Morgan is delivering us coffees without a fly,
which we won't have to tell that story on the
podcast for Morgan, Thank you so much. Thank you doing
the Lord's work.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Bye, I mean a coffee deliver Yes, please. Oh, we
just like to keep it high class over back every week. Yes, nic, yes,
some of my oat milk vanilla latte, I mean perfect.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
No flies, No flies.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, well, don't forget to come back to that fly story.
We'll come back to it because y'all she had an
experience with the fly?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Did this one not?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Now? What was I saying? Okay, So for three weeks,
your hair and makeup, full glamb five or six in
the morning, you're going out making commercials, so you're exhausting.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
We're actually locked in. There's a full security team, like
twelve huge men from New Jersey that are that are
named like, you know, just very Jersey names. I don't know.
They're like huge, like Sally and we're you know, they're
so sweet. They're like teddy bears, but also like they
could kill someone, right.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And former Navy seals.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
And so they my favorite was named norm He was
really sweet. But they would take us around and we
would literally like walk through the casinos in like this
line of fifty one girls with fifty one the fifty
first state.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Oh, it's like a it's.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Either a coaster or or oh what are you go?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Okay, No, it's d C. Oh duh, it's dcy DC
gets its own state, okay, which she may have thrown
a chair after she lost in the background.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Wild Okay, So she was in the category of life
and death. Yes, confirm, we're not in this for fun firm,
but yes, it was.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
It was wild times. We were allowed to get a
spray tan because you didn't get spray tanns until like
the end, because you you were locked in. You couldn't
go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
They brought in and bring a spray tan or cha.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
They brought two spraytan artists in the last week and
we were we signed. They were like, we're gonna have
a sign up sheet outside of our whatever room, our lounge,
and after dinner, y'all can all and sign it to
see what time you get. Okay, Well, imagine this, there's
fifty one of us, there's two spraytan artists, and the
(18:09):
slots are all like like you have to have eight
hours to process and you're competing the next day. Some
of these girls are going to be up until like
three to get their tan and then like sleep in
it and then anyway, So when I tell you there
was a stampede to get to the elevators to get
the after dinner, and I was like in this second
(18:31):
elevator and we are all just like in heels and
we're just like, you know, speed walking to get there.
And I was in the second elevator, so I was
really fortunate and that.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Sexy you kind of had to be in a competition
to get a spray tan.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I know, I know. So I get there and the
first group from the elevator had taken all of their
friends and written everyone's namestone. And there was a girl
that even came in right in front of me and
she scratched out another contestants name.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
And was like riding in her friend name. And I
was just like, what is this kind of dirty? This?
This is a wild times.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
And that was just one story, but it was an
I room. I had to room with Miss Hawaii.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
How is that?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
That was great? I love her. We So the director
of Arkansas was the director of five states at the time. Okay,
they direct over six states now, but we would have
boot camps throughout the year to prepare us. And we
were considered sister states because we had the same instructor.
We have the same directors. So it was Nebraska who
(19:44):
was La, one of my best friends, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Missouri,
and uh, Kansas City. Those were our five girls. So
at least we had spent months preparing together and we
knew each other, but they all ended up rooming together
and I was like the fifth one out.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
So I for got two room together and you didn't,
well you group up into twos, okay, and so like
two and two yes, and so then I needed to
find a roommate.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And I think Hawaii reached out to me. This is
when Instagram is brand new, and so this is not
a thing you two thousand and seven then right, no
to well, it was twenty thirteen, so I say no.
But it was like you can't just like sluice around
and like creep around on people to find out if
they're cool. So right, because they'd barely had any posts. Yes,
it's just like a hail Mary and it's just a puture.
(20:34):
Like you're not insane?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Do you want to be roommates for three weeks? That's good?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
And it was awesome and that was that was really fun,
but yeah, it was. It was a wild ride.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
So what happens though, when and then we'll get off
this because I freak can talk about it forever, But
what happens when you're in the competition and like are
people getting cut throat or are people playing pretty nicely?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Is it stressful? Oh, it's really stressful. I especially how
about you make it well? I'm a nine on the inneagram,
you know, I'm like, please keep peacemaker anyway. And so
I was just very like, I just want to be friends, guys.
Not most of these women were like that. I accidentally
stepped on a girl's dress when we were leaving, uh interviews.
(21:16):
The interviews not good. She absolutely like screamed at me
and like accused me of ruining. I literally was like,
I have an extra gown that's my actual because fun fact,
for a lot of pageants, if you compete on a
national level, you will compete sometimes in the preliminary in
(21:40):
a gown that's like nice, But then you like have
the special special gown that if you make the top
like twenty or ten and it's televised nationally, you're gonna
bust it out and like it's like your secret weapon,
like no one has seen it, and so the girls
can't be scouting and it it's like the dress, you know,
(22:03):
And so I was like, I have an extra dress anyway,
it's not good. I apologized. I had a target on
my back. It was such an accident. After that, you
had a target on your back well from her, and
I apologize profusely.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
But what are you gonna do? Though? I mean that
is probably like cut throat, Live or die, and everyone's
just so young, so they're just getting into things that
matter to them.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You know.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
It's by the first big moment and most of y'all's
lives because you're only like eighteen to twenty something years old.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Oh they've changed it now. I was like blown away
because this year I think there's like a forty something
oh all ages, okay, interesting. We wouldn't even go there,
but it was interesting. One last thing I will say
this was my worst nightmare. We danced because we had
opening numbers and this is all televised. I remember them
being like, this is televised in eighty different countries and
(22:54):
I was like, oh good, and I'm in a bikini
and we're doing a dance number and seeing a bikini
because they had like different numbers for like different sets,
so we were like swimsuits gowns. Like the open number
of outfits like, and they're sponsors for all of it, right,
so they're getting their airtime. And they broke us up
(23:16):
into different groups, and I was in the non dancer
group and they didn't say it was the non dancer group,
but by looking at all of us, we were like,
we're the non dancers. So I was like in the
back by the like the drummer, just dancing in my bikini,
praying I wouldn't fall up stage. Hannah, Yeah, I mean
were like a scenario for me. What a life experience though.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Okay, so you were Miss Arkansas, USA, you did the pageant,
and then now you're standing with a majestic about to
kiss Shaye Mooney. How did that? Oh? I skipped a
few things. You skipped a few things, and I do.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Shane and I have done a few part episodes of
the two of us, so he does get to like
chip in until his side of the story. But y'all
met online.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
We did meet online. I had gone through a lot
before him, and so I was not interested in a
relationship with dating. Yeah, I have some bad dates, so bad,
god boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
So bad. And it wasn't the guy right before Shay.
It was like before it was before that, and it
was really bad and it was abusive and it.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Was no it was like, how old were you?
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Twenty young? Yeah, it took me a few years to
get away. I had to move a few times, threaten
restraining order. It was like really bad. So I'd been
through it and then I ended up dating a really
sweet guy that was just fun, like normal for the
first time in my adult life, and we ended up
breaking up and that broke my heart. But I also
(24:49):
knew it was right because I was praying for God's
will and when it happened, I was like, dang it,
do you think not to harp on this?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
So with that abusive relationship, because like for young girls listening,
it's easy to get tricked, especially when you're young. Because
I was a door mat, like I said, oh you
were people, please are nine so looking for peace and
ruffle any feathers.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Yeah, I could get in. I'm not going to get
into the whole story, but it was really bad.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
And when you're that young, it's so easy to get
swept away, and it doesn't really start off bad, right, So.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
It wasn't even me swept away. It was it was
truly being taken advantage of your goodwill. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it was just not good.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
And until you get older and you learn that it's
just so you don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, you really don't.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
You don't know. You just don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
And then and then they they isolate you and manipulate
and gaslight and you know, do all the things that
you hear about.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
You have no idea that it's not supposed to be
that way because you're so young. Right, Yes, I'm so
sorry that haven't to you.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
That's okay, it was.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
It was good because you like figured it out to
get the strength to get out of it, for sure.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
No, And and you know a lot of times when
you're in that you don't tell people, right, like they
don't know that it's abusive, Like they don't know that
it's bad. They might because you're totally isolated and you've
lost all your friends and it's because they've been scared off.
But yeah, it was really bad and controlling. And I finally,
(26:18):
like I said, got away and then had that other
boyfriend that was like fun and like normal for the
first time, broke my heart. And then after that, I
was just on a sabbatical with Jesus and I was
like good for you?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
How was it?
Speaker 3 (26:33):
It was awesome. I didn't want to leave it.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I truly wastal.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Got to that place where I was like God would
not want.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
That for his daughter. So you were just real like
healing yourself.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I wasn't healing me.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
God was healing me? How So what were you doing? Like?
How were you healing? What were you How would you
spend your time with God?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I mean it was It was truly such a hard
season because I, because of Miss Arkansas, was graduating a
semester behind all my girlfriends. So everyone graduated that spring
and I was having to take a summer semester to
catch up to finish and graduate that summer. Well, my
roommate and I she was graduating and our lease was
(27:15):
up in May, so I was like, I have nowhere
to live. I just got my heart broken because the
good boyfriend broke up with me.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
You probably have still probably compiled upon the bad boyfriends
so through.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Sure like he's still the ex still knew where I lived,
So I was I was also like living in fear
and like having nightmares that you would find me.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
But you're not like does that did it just go away? Eventually?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Like because no, I still have nightmares.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Oh dinnah, but.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
But it gosh, I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
So you Lisa was up up okay.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
So I was about to be homeless. I was heartbroken.
All my friends were graduating and moving on and I
was just like left like with the pieces of my life. Also,
I had just given up my crown and I wasn't
so funny. I just did an interview with Jimmy Tebow
and we've talked about this, like when you pass the crown.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
She's married to sim Tibo.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Yeah, she was miss Universe. That's miss Universe. Yes, okay,
but fortunately, like that's not where I was finding my identity.
But I did. I did hold on to it as
like this makes me feel like purposeful. And as much
as I was like representing my state and I was
traveling and I was speaking to kids and going to
(28:32):
schools and like doing these things and then my.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Year of service was over, it's so intense, like you're
twenty four to seven of the day doing something that
matters and you are like a spokesperson and it's all
on you and all these people are coordinating it. So
it is that is purposeful, and it's you have a
job to do right that is needed every day, and
then it just ends cold turkey. Hm. Oh that's a
harsh ending.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
We just pass it on, which I was so.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Happy to do. Totally, okayther thing, you can feel this
and that at the same time, Like you can feel
so happy to pass it on, I'm sure also completely
lost and like who you are now?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Well, I wasn't lost in who I was or what
to do with It was that it was that feeling
like I was being productive and purposeful for the better
of something else, something bigger than myself, which is important
to me. Oh wait, you thrive it motherhood, thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
But it was all of it, like it all.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Hit at the same time, and I honestly went back
and I asked my counselor what am my closest to
graduating in because originally I was going to be in
speech path and you can't. I mean, you can get
your degree, but you're gonna have to go back and
get your masters to even have a job as a
speech path. So you're looking at so I was like,
(29:44):
I'm not doing more. I'm not doing that. The year
that I started that program, they switched it after that
after my class and they switched the program, brought in
new professors and brought in new like like basically lifted
the whole course load, and they were like, your classes,
the class is going to have to basically like start
(30:05):
over because the class the classes that I took that
year weren't going to go towards because it was a
new program. If that makes sense. Okay, So then I'm like,
I'm like already a year behind technically, and I already
took these classes like neuroscience and like anatomy and physiology
and hearing and you know, sign language. I took all
(30:28):
these things and then it's like some of them account
someone you're gonna have to like go back and then
you're gonna have to get your master's scree and I'm
already behind because I took all a semester when I
was Miss Arkansas.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Okay, so how are we feeling?
Speaker 3 (30:39):
What I went I went to my accounselor and I
was like, tell me what can I graduate with? What
degree can I graduate with? Because I've been here four
and a half years, and it was like, I feel
like there's no end in sight, and all my friends
are leaving and it's really sad, and it was family
can sue sciences? I was like, great, sign me up,
(31:03):
let's do it, family, Let's do it. And at that point,
because of Miss Arkansas, I hate to say this, but
if anyone's out there struggling with their degree and like
their purpose in life, no one. I don't know a
lot of people that know that. There are maybe a
handful of weirdos out there that are fortunate enough to
be like since I was seven that I wanted to
(31:25):
do this.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
That's very cooch.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
I love that for them.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I know.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I always say, like, when you have that, God bless you.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
You are so lucky. I'm thirty three and I'm still
figuring it out, you know what I mean. And so
I but I'm not thirty three. I'm actually forty one.
Well you're like, you don't look it way ahead.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
You are crushing the game.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Oh wow, thank you? Yes, yes, So I I just
want to say, as an encouragement to anyone that's feeling
like wow, like this is like all for nothing, it's not.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
And all that stuff does pay off. Like even those
classes that you took that like you don't need, like
that all works in absolutely favor. Eventually, I took a
lot of good.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I don't I don't even want to call them extracurriculars.
But like I took finance, I took I took things
that I interested. I was genuinely like, this will better
my life.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yes, So I did that, and I think that just
to like add one more note to this to everyone listening,
like I do think when you are young, you think
that there's such a timeline and it's such a perfect
timeline and everything has a stop and it's like a
train track to get off on and like you got
to accomplish this by this age, this, by this age,
graduate college, fall in love, getting married, have a perfect career,
then have baby, never wanted, buy this, and like you
(32:31):
don't allow yourself any room for all the mess that's
gonna happen. But the mess is what the whole point is.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
That's why I had my podcast Expect Unexpected. It's like
you will literally never meet anyone whose life goes according
to what they planned, never ever. And if you look
into it, and this is what my podcast is about,
but if you look, you will find God in everything unexpected,
like you working God in those moments. So that's an encouragement,
(32:57):
just an aside, And.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Also your podc Yes is so good. It's like daily
devotionals too. It's like just that gives you what you
need to be like okay, and you're bringing in real
life stories and it's so good. I love it. I'm
so glad of me.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I'm so proud of you for doing such a champion
you know, well, you know what the same as you.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
It's like this world is dark, and when I now know,
I'm a light worker, and like you're a light worker,
and it's like when you meet other light workers, you
have to like get them to stay motivated because the
people who are working the dark are sure motivated. So
it's like when you're a light worker, you have to
stay motivated because you got to shine this light. And
you know, there's hope.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I love that you say that. Did you know that
a scientists have proven that a single candle glowing in
pitch black if you were to have binoculars because I'm
really blind and I couldn't see two miles away, but
you could see it with the naked eye from two
miles away, if if if everything was just pitch black,
(33:53):
you could see a single flightlight a candle, And I'm like,
that really represents being a light in a dark world,
and so you really feel like I'm just a single candle,
but for miles around, you don't know that you could
be like impacting someone. And there's a lot of people
that hopefully we will one day it will never know
about And that's fine.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
When I think I got past the point like it
was such a self journey for me for so long,
like I was such on a journey. I started this
podcast because I needed answers. I was like, how do
these people have life figured out? I'm so lost, Like
I don't know anything. I my self worth was low,
like and not due to anything other than life is
freaking so difficult.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
And I was looking for answers and I was.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
And there's a lot more media outlets now where people
can find great inspiration, but like kind of back in
the day when I started this, like eight years ago,
I just needed to talk to people who, like I
thought were crushing at life and for them to tell
me how they did it. And what I realized is
exactly what you said. Everyone's life has been unexpected, like
your podcast. Everyone's life has been crazy. Everyone has had
horrible moments of tragedy and pain. Some of them been early,
(34:51):
Like I have nervous notice. When people have early trauma,
that is a lot harder to overcome because you didn't
have another perception right that there wasn't trauma.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
Right, and so like that is that.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
But people who have to relearn how to live and
you have to really seek guides and teachers, and it's
easy not to because you don't have that guidance. But
people who do are like the game changers of the world.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
You know, And kudos to you because you started this
eight years ago. And this is not when podcasts were
a thing.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
No, I was like the first part Nashville. Yeah, yeah,
I know it's insane and I didn't know what I
was doing, but it was the same thing I had
trail Blazer. No, everything I've done has been out of
complete desperation, like literally hitting the rock and not knowing
what to do, but listening to God, which is like
I hit this moment where I was in a band.
I was actually like in Runaway June with my best
(35:37):
friend jin Way. I remember this and we nail me
who is the best voice in talent, And like God
just kept telling me, this is not your path, this
is not your path. I kept feeling so much resistance.
I've kept feeling so many roadblocks, but I was pushing
through because I was like, I am going to do this.
This is what I wanted, this is what I want.
I don't care that every part of my being is
rejecting this. I'm going to do this.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
But it wasn't good for anyone.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
And I was still so young that I didn't realize
that when your whole body is shutting it down and
you're getting resistance and you're feeling sick and like all
these things feel heavy and hard, that that is God
telling you no. But I had to have a few
moments where I pushed so hard against what God was
trying to tell me that it took me to a
panic attack. And finally I'm like, oh, okay, I'm like
(36:18):
freaking out so bad that I actually have to walk
away because my nervous system is shutting down. But I
pushed it so hard when I was young a couple
of times that now I feel and hear God so fast, right,
and I'm looking for him all the time.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Quicker obedience because yes, And I actually really like to
say because people are like, well, you know life's going well,
and you forget about like needing God. But I'm like,
if you didn't, like we wouldn't need a GPS, like
if we knew where we were.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Just because you generally know how the you know what
I means is mapped out. You still got to get
directions right every day, right, every You got to know
which road you're on right, and you got to be guided. Yes,
you have to listen for that guidance. And you're so
good at listening to that guidance and you can reroute
and you totally can.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Rad will change all things to the good for those
who are called and love him.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
You know. That's why, like I love I think people
are loving jelly Roll right now because like what a reroute,
you know, like doesn't everyone love to see an inspiration story?
And it's like that's why Shay like you know, and
I am all over the place right now we have
jump ship from where we started, you know.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
What, the coffee has entered the chat.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
So but it's like that's why I'm so inspired by
Shay as well, because he did a reroute and now
everything that wasn't on the route before is used as
a blessing, right you know, Well.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
It's kind of like that was God's original purpose, right,
Like he has a plan and a purpose for each
of us. He knew us, and he formed us before
the foundations of the world. He called us, and he
has good plans for us. But you know, we enter
this world and we're like, all right, what is our plan?
What do we want to do? Instead of being like,
my life is your Scott, I want to bring you
the glory, lead me where I should go wherever You're
(37:53):
trying to figure it out, even what we were talking
about the college route, like we're like we're like, oh,
I have to have it all figured out to have
it guy, I have to make this happen instead of
just like wait, God, guide me, So how do you
what do you want? God?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
So, if you were going back to that girl and
you because you always had a strong faith, but like
you know, sometimes you have to live into your faith. Okay,
So like now that you have deeply lived into your faith,
what would you go back and tell that girl who
was panicking in college, because now you'd come at a
different approach. I think, let me tell you it actually
came to me in that season because that's when you
started really walk darker the night.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
The brighter the stars. I really had to hit such
a low place.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
That's so many dark nights, man, and our stars are
so bright, you know, that's why it all pays off.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
But I hit a place where I was like, gosh,
am I about to be homeless. I all my friends
are gone.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I'm stuck. I don't have a plan.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
They're moving on, they're getting jobs, like some of them
are in relationships, getting engaged. Everyone's passing you by, everyone's
passing me by. I just got my heart broken, and
it was shredded before I even got it broken.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And the band aid just ripped off, right, and so
I was just like, what am I gonna do? You
were really really lost? That's when I rock bottom in
your world?
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Yes, And I was totally rock bottom, and I was like,
you know what, God, I'm down here and the only
place I can look is up.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Yeah. And so that's why, honestly, it's a kind of
a freedom when you hit the rock bottom.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
Oh, freeing when you can finally when you hit the
random over to God, because you're like, I don't have
anything left, no choice left, I'm just broken pieces. So
you just take take it and like, so don't be
scared of it.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
People when you get there, just no, God's finally freed you.
That's right, and you're finally but you have a choice
to make.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
You have to let go. I had my Bible and
I would read it occasionally, but like I didn't study
it and I didn't I'd never read it through, and
I'm not I grew up in church, so I knew
Bible stories, but I would just read in like the
Psalms and the Proverbs and like basically the things that
(39:53):
David wrote about being sad, like calling out to God.
I would just read those to give me comfort, like
that's that's where I was.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
But you weren't feeling it personally yet.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Well, I was just I was deeply depressed because again
I was like, what am I doing? I'm broken, I'm lost,
to be helmeless. I need to graduate, I need to
find a job after this. I don't even know what
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Because family, it's like your time was up to figure
it out, and now it's like here, you're supposed to
be moved on, but you haven't figured anything out yet,
and you think everyone has going back to no one has.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
And I actually talk to a lot of girls, women
on the podcast, and I feel like that point in
particular stressful right after college or like some point early twenties,
when you are exiting like an actual let's just call
it a like a I don't know, like.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
A structure, because school is a structure, and at least
you know like what you're doing every day, and then
you're out and you're in the real world.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
And that's when that's when, for the first time in
adult life, you're like, Okay, what matters, what's important? And
then you're living.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
You're also lost, like what have I picked?
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Just in it?
Speaker 3 (41:03):
And so that I feel like is a pivotal point
for so many people.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
And it's okay if you feel like you lose your mind,
hit a depression, kind of fall off the deep end
a little bit I did for lost.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
It's normal.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
It's very normal because it's a huge, huge, huge change,
and you got to give yourself grace in these transitions.
It's like transitioning into motherhood. You've got to give yourself
grace in these big transitions because it's a mess. This
is where I was, and.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
I just again hit my knees and God just started
like opening these doors and it was like slowly I
lived with my boss, who at the time I was
seventy two and no woman, Miss Joeanne. She's still so
dear to me and I love her heart.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Miss joe What was it like living with this show inn?
Speaker 3 (41:50):
I worked at a frame shop art gallery.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Stop it, because you're an artist you have a paint
room in your house and.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Forget you're so cool. But I built the picture frames.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Like splatter paint in your house and have a whole
whole room. I do all the things. Hannah, what an
expression of all your feelings. You should sell that art.
Let's get to that letter. We still got to talk
about coffee and now paint room. Yeah, don't forget. Well.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
I ended up living with Miss Joe Anne. Her husband
had just gone into the nursing home, and so she
was like in a transition period too.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Y'all needed each other, and she had so much to share.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I became Rami's and I already loved her. I'd worked
with her for three years through college, three or four
art store, and so and her little granddaughters were like
I saw them every day they'd come to the store,
and so I had my own room at her house,
and they were like, that's Miss Hannah's room and I
want chapter had shark tank every Thursday night and we
would get keish every Tuesday. And I mean truly, like
(42:42):
genuinely one of my dearest.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Friends, tell me how she healed you, because I know
that was a divine moment, because here she is on
the way out. Well, she's older, she's lived her life,
and here you are in the beginning, you are starting,
and she has all this to share and you have
all this to learn. I feel like she and I
were very much.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Together on in this, like she was there for me
and I was there for her, and we were equal parts.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Like y'all both really needed each other.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
We both did. But at the same time, she offered
me a safe and and honestly like happy place to
just rest while I was finishing up my degree. I
was helping her transition her shop to close it, to
move part of her stuff into her home.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
And she gave you a home. She gave me a home,
the home environment of love.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
It was a home and a friendship and we'd go walk.
But during that time, what a gift.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
See God never messes up, He.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Doesn't mess up. And during that time, I was so
in my I was so in the word. And I
actually remember some of my friends being like, I would
be freaking out right now. I would be panicking, like
I feel like you're not. And I actually remember googling
this is funny how to know when you have the
peace of God, and you know, different stuff would come up.
(44:06):
But I'm like, I'm living in Like if anyone saw
me from the outside, like my friends, they'd be like, oh,
like I would be spiraling. I was living in God's
hand and I knew, like I for the first time
was just like I had surrendered it. Like you said,
(44:26):
I had given it all to him. I was. I
was just living in that and I was allowing him
to just hold me in that space. And Miss show
Anne was a part of that. And then I ended
up getting a job out you know, in northwest Arkansas,
and the rest came and I already knew someone that
lived up there, so I started paying rent for that apartment,
(44:51):
so I knew where I was going, I knew who
I was gonna live with. Finished living with Miss Shoe
in a finish up school, and then I moved up there.
So pieces were falling into place, very very like peacefully yes.
And it was during this time that I kind of
meet Shae Ish, He's like reached out, but again, I'm
like me and Jesus, I don't need anyone.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
He like reached out to you on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Facebook, I think it was Twitter at first.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Okay, yeah, okay, so he just found you in the
orbit and found me and shot you a message then.
But he wasn't Shay from Dan and She at that point.
Was he even Dan and Shaye? Yeah? Yeah they were.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
They were, but they're going so new they were babies.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
He sent me like he was like, check out our
music video. And it was like a YouTube video maybe
of them like singing on a log by a creek.
I don't even I don't even know what song it was.
And I was just like cool, but I mean you're like,
damn that voice. No, I don't think I listened to it.
I was so off of anything and anyone. I didn't
know his music. I didn't know any of it. He
(45:49):
would he would like message on my Instagram pictures of
like my dogs.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Occasionally it was like so subtle, like he would write
a message on your dog be.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Like I love those dogs. You have those on our
farm too. Those dogs are so sweet and it was
never like a selfie of me or you know, it
was never anything that was like you like, it was
just he was just like coming in so subtle and
was just like, let me know that he's.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
There, but a little sweetest. He's the sweetest, isn't he?
He really is and sweetest, have the funniest.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
He is the funniest.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Like you laugh all the time.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Listen if you are married and that person does not
make you laugh, but she is like in a.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Level of his own self. True. I mean he's every
time I see him, even just for a second, I'm laughing,
and not just like laughing, I'm like having to hold
my sides.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
I laugh so hard. We'll tell you though, it does
become like I'm chopped liver in our home because when
Daddy comes home, it's like a cool parent is home,
the fun funny, cool person is home, and I'm glad my.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Kids have that. But then it makes me feel like
I'm feeling this for the first time, Hannah, because like
and I'm jumping ship all over again, so like I'm sorry,
my coffee is eighty D. But like I want to
talk to you about this is why you have all
the answers you know all the things I don't. I'm
still figuring it out. Sunny and I have been bff forever,
and I'm not saying everything's changed. This has been two
days and I'm like crying in the bathroom putting on
my makeup to day because Sunny woke up and she said, Mom,
(47:09):
I want to have a daddy daughter day with Dad,
and I want to go get my nails done. They
went and got a blowout, hair blowout, both excluded, got
her nails done, went for a walk, and she did
not want me to come and like she has only
wanted me to be everywhere forever. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm so happy, like and did all the pigs. I
love all the thing about a blowout nails and I
(47:31):
was like, I'm so happy for you. Oh go have that, Daddy.
I was crying in my bathroom getting put makeup on
today because I'm like, she told me again today she said, Mom,
dad and I are gonna go for a walk and
we're gonna have a daddy daughter day today. And I
was like, what happened to me? And she loves me anymore?
And I literally I'm checking myself. I'm like a forty
one year old woman over here crying because my daughter
(47:52):
wants to have a daddy daughter day, which I love.
But I'm like, it's she's turning five. I'm like, are
you you don't need me anymore?
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Listeners. Oh this is good, this is good for her.
And I know I'm just gonna tell you this because
this happened like a week ago. I suggest we got
fishing poles for the boys, and you.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Got three boys, so that might they're gonna love their
mom so much. But then also, Dad's probably the coolest
that ever was.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
Yeah, okay, well let me just tell you some like fun,
really sad stuff down the line that's gonna make you
feel better as a girl mom. So I'll just hold
on for that one. And I'm gonna really give you
a line of hope. But we got them all the
stuff to go fishing, and we went one evening and
then like the next time Shaye got back off the road,
He's like, take the boys fishing, and I was like cool,
(48:35):
Like I was ready to go with him. And I
was like it's gonna be family memories and and and
it just ended up being Shay.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
And the boys and I how did it just end
up being shaded. How did you get that message? That memo?
Are you and your like camp?
Speaker 3 (48:50):
I was like, do you want mommy to go too?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
And they were like no. And I was like, oh this,
take a bath myself and enjoys some quiet.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
Okay, but I had so hard I had to check
myself same because okay, it was just the two big boys.
I had the baby, because pond and a baby doesn't
they don't remember, right, but I sure seven aims is four.
And I had to check myself because I was like, no,
they need they need, I know, time with their daddy,
(49:21):
I know, without me, agreed, without me, hovering, without me,
like telling him not to step in the mud, without
me whatever.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
But I've always been the one to say you need that,
and then they go have their time. But now for you,
as a child, to initiate.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
I packed the car for them. I thought, who would
plan the daddy daughter it's before and send them on
their way. But now she's asking for them. Yes, that's
a difference. This is good okay, and I'm gonna I'm
so happy about it.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
I'm so happy. Here's your line of hope. Okay. I
started reading is it raising boys? And girls. You know,
Dave David and Sissy Goff and David Great Resources for
Raising g Resources and they've got a podcast and like
all the things. But I was reading the Raising Boys
(50:07):
book and I had to stop reading it because I
got to the point where it was like the first
few years, you know, their babies, they're sweet, they need
their mom. And then there's the the years where they're
called they're called something, and it's like the like the lovers,
like the lover Stage lover, where they literally like love
(50:29):
their mom. I just want to like snuggles embarrassed to
you the sweetest. It ends at like eight.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Okay, so you're getting very basically.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
In the book it says is without saying it, but
it's like they leave mom and go to dad and
they'll never return.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
And that's like my interpretation of it. But I had
to stop reading it because I was like, they're all
gonna leave me. And then I got panicky not another.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Baby, because I'm like, oh, my goodness, is like I
have all boys and they're all gonna like grow up
and leave me.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
And like get married and then I'll never see my grandchildren.
And that's how it spirals. Okay, and so you know,
this is where I went to just make them. But
I was like, Sonny already loves She's been touring with
Michael now and she loves it.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
She loves the band.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
I'm like, Oh, she's gonna get old enough where she
can be self sufficient. And she's like, Mom, don't come
on the road with me and dad. It's gonna be
me and dad. And then she's gonna start singing opening
for him, and then they're gonna be on the road
together as plans and she's like, not gonna need Mom anymore.
And I'm just gonna be back at the house crying. Yeah,
that's where I am.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
The boys have made plans too. Shay's like, when the
boys get a little older, I'm gonna start taking them
on the road.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
And terrible idea that is, who's gonna watch them. I'm like,
you've got.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Sound check, You're gonna be out there exactly anyway. I'm
like already panicking, I know, but SHA's like already excited
about it.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
But it switches, doesn't It where like Mom, because here
we are with all this love to give, just nurturing, nurturing, nurturing,
just kissing your face and holding you and just being
with you twenty for seven everything you need to love
you so much, and then they hit five and then
they're ready to go. They don't need you anymore. Yeah,
but she'll We're being so dramatic right now, but thank
you for letting me be able to be this dramatic,
(52:14):
because that's how I felt when I was switting on
my makeup today. She will come back to you because
she's your girl. And I don't know.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
I've got other girlfriends that have daughters and got I've
talked to moms across the board of all ages, and
I feel like the daughters always come back.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
And then she hasn't left. To be fair, she still
totally loves me. She's just like, can't drive. She's just
loving dad still, which is great. All these are really
great things. Yes, it's just you're not ready for him
because it happens like.
Speaker 3 (52:39):
Over, not just an emotional separation if you will. But
she will come back.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
And the thing is, too, we both have cool husbands
and so like as your kids learn that their dad
is so cool and like has such a cool life
and hangs out with cool people and does these fun things,
like the older they get, we have to offer, I know,
and cheese I'm gonna give you back and cheese like
at the cool I'm introverted to.
Speaker 3 (53:06):
So I'm like, I really can offer you all my love,
literally just food and all my love, a quiet home,
you know.
Speaker 2 (53:14):
What, though not quiet right now. But here's the thing.
One day, here's the thing. It is so wonderful and
it is so great, and it is so healthy, and
this is such great things to have, and what great
growing pains that we have these beautiful children who are
so loved by their family. But I mean, it is,
it's just like every little moment it's and I was
thinking to myself, like, oh my god, you think it's
gonna be one way forever, and it immediately changes, like
you just have to keep you can't wish it away,
(53:36):
you can't. You just have to give everything you have
in the moment.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
It's so tangible to me right now because Abram is
eighteen or nineteen months old, and he really looks a
lot like Asher, like baby Asher, and so they'll be
sitting side by side and Asher's seven and then Abram is,
you know, one and a half years old, and even
their profiles, like everything looks the same, and so it's
almost like in one picture, like you see it and
(54:01):
you just like see, like.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
How fast six years in a blink of an eye,
and it is.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
It's really sad, but it also makes you savor it more.
Like Shane out often are like, gosh, it goes it's
going so fast, and Aims is four, and I'm like, gosh,
I love four, Like I love this age and it's
it's it's like bittersweet, but it's also giving you a
living time stamp of the years as you're watching each
(54:28):
of your children like grow and and like seeing how
exciting you know, a new birthday is. Asher actually called
me out on it the other day and he was like, Mommy,
do you get sad when we have birthdays because we're
growing up? And I literally started to like tear up.
This is bedtime, and I was like, I do, baby,
But also I was like, it is the privilege of
(54:50):
a lifetime that she grew up. Like it does make
mommy sad, but also it could like I could be
more proud did I get to see this? You know,
God forbid. You know that her parents out there that
don't get to see their baby.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
That's why it's the privilege of a lifetime and you
have to be in the moment.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Yeah, we knew we'd need the tissues, didn't we have
a tissue?
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yes, thank you Vox. I thought we were gonna get
through this podcast and no tears were almost at the end.
But I do have to circle back because I went
all over the place because I just knew I had
so much I wanted to do for Rabbit Trail, but
I like, I love a rabbit Trail. So just coming
back to college and Miss joe Anne freaking Angel on Earth,
you move out God. Your life was enshambled. You're falling apart, depressed,
like what is gonna happen? I'm just recapping you find
(55:36):
God in the moment you fully surrender, Miss Joanne the
Earth Angel comes in and now you're on your way.
You're moving to an apartment with a friend and you're
feeling peaceful. I am.
Speaker 3 (55:44):
I mean, I'm still still looking for that job.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
You know.
Speaker 3 (55:47):
It's around this time that I message Shay and I
was like, do you ever play in Arkansas? This was
on a Saturday night and he texts me.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
That will funny.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
I'll be there tomorrow, he said, Wednesday in that town,
literally in that town.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
That God is just working it out girl.
Speaker 3 (56:03):
At George's Majestic. And again, in all this time, it's
been almost ten years, he's played Arkansas twice and we're
coming back and I'm so excited. Next week is the
Arkansas show. It's like the Amphitheater in Rogers, and so
it's gonna feel like a full circle moment that they
will be in Arkansas because it's I just want to
(56:25):
say for perspective that in almost ten years, he was
in Arkansas twice. And it was three days from the
day that I was like, when do you play Arkansas?
God is working at you know, the tour sets like
they're all over the country and there's circuits.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
And he's not like flexible dates.
Speaker 3 (56:41):
It's booked right and you may like hit a city
like once a year. Okay, so you see him?
Speaker 2 (56:47):
So I see him.
Speaker 3 (56:48):
Well, it's the first time we'd ever met and i'd
never heard him, not familiar with anything they'd done, not
a fan. I actually told him, and I've told this
story but for but I was like, how much are tickets?
Because I didn't have my job yet, was still job hunting,
so broke, and he was like, I don't know, like
thirty dollars and I was like, I can't go. I'm
(57:09):
not going. I can't I'm not going. I'm broke. And
he was like, well, how many tickets do you need?
And so I got two and so me and my
girlfriend went and he looked for me the whole set.
Where were they playing, uh, Georgia's Majestic.
Speaker 2 (57:23):
Oh at George's Majestic.
Speaker 3 (57:24):
Okay, it's like a club, right, yes, And it was
on Dixon and so he's like looking for me and
I'm perchaed up high so I can like see him
looking for me.
Speaker 2 (57:35):
And what were you feel when you saw him singer?
You're like, okay, okay, fine, it was good. You had
to know that voice was like spectacles.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
I mean, it really was, and it wasn't. It wasn't
until he started singing this edge sheering cover, what's the
what's the Evergreen?
Speaker 2 (57:51):
Yeah? And you're like, oh, he's singing that to me.
Speaker 3 (57:52):
He sang that, and I was like, and I again
never would have admitted to him that. I was like, dang,
and I'm like pretty picky anyway with music, but I
was like, huh.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
That's real good.
Speaker 3 (58:06):
He asked me to come to his best and so
after the show, I was like, okay, well security was
giving me a hard time, and then I got miffed
because I was like, I'm not even a fangirl.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
I don't even want to be here. I don't even
want to be here, and now I have to get security.
This is annoying.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
And my girlfriend was like, show them the text messages,
show them the text message, and I was just like
too prideful, and I was like no. I was like,
I'm not a fangirl. And they're literally like, you have
to get off the property. You can't be here. And
so finally Shae came and got us and brought us
on the best.
Speaker 2 (58:38):
Because so what was the moment when you met Shae?
Because he's having to rescue you from his security, which
is great, he had good security, but he should have
let them know you're coming. I mean, I'm a little
so we're a little annoyed.
Speaker 3 (58:47):
I found out that it's because he was hosting literally
his whole family.
Speaker 2 (58:51):
So did you meet the whole family too, his mom
and dad and sister. You meet everybody at the same time.
Speaker 3 (58:55):
Brother in law, not all of them, but like a chunk,
good chunk.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
So you and I had met Shae and the whole
family all the same time.
Speaker 3 (59:01):
Didn't know his whole family was there. And this is
also when they're all on one bus, so it's like
band and crew. There's thirteen guys on a bus, right,
and then.
Speaker 2 (59:10):
His family's also on the bus, so you're all cramped
in there, and one of his buddies is on the bus,
and then me and my girlfriend are on the bus.
So yeah, that's how y'all met. So you're like pack sardines.
Was there like music on people drinking or was it
calm and sit down de mirror? Did they say mostly calm? That?
Speaker 3 (59:23):
I mean his parents like we like not drinking bunch,
but like the band, you know.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
It just a chill though.
Speaker 3 (59:29):
She wasn't like a crazy environment. It wasn't.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
So who are you talking to? You? Are you talking
to the mom? You're talking to Shaye, like what's happening?
Speaker 3 (59:34):
You remember sitting down?
Speaker 2 (59:35):
You feeling nervous?
Speaker 3 (59:35):
His mom? And I was just like, I did not
sign up for any of it, told them that no, no,
I was just I don't even remember what we visited about,
but Shy asked me to go to the ACM.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
Kind of nice that that you just knocked meeting the
parents out of the way. I mean, I guess, and
you fell in love with his sisters. I did love
his sisters because y'all are likesties. Oh yeah, you kind
of had a jackpot there.
Speaker 3 (59:57):
He invited me to the ACMs and I said, no,
why me, and Jesus, I'm not interested, which is not
my type?
Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Why not? It just was not my type?
Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
And with all I'd been through, the last thing in
the world I wanted was to be with someone who
is in an industry that presented temptation and like lifestyles
that I.
Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Was like trying to get away from. Yeah, fair, fair, fair.
Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
I'm from Arkansas. We don't even have a stoplight in
my town. I was happy to go home to my
white pick of pens, my farmer husband.
Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
You weren't signed up for like millions of adoring fans
and temptation all around and him being gone yeah so often? Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
So I said no. But then he asked me again
when he walked me to the car, and I said,
I'll go as your friend.
Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
So the first time he met you, who asked you
the a SAMs Yes, in.
Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Front of everyone? What the heck about pressure?
Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
In front of everyone, like he's proposing? Does that? Wait,
Hannah Billingsworth, Wait Billingston was your name?
Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Billingsley?
Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Hannah Billingsley, will you go to the SAMs with me?
It's like no.
Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
He literally looked around and he was like, hey, guys,
I think I should Inviteter to the ACMs.
Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
And I was just like, as if this night you
could not get more into I know, And this is
a Sidebarb's intense first meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Yes have you do you have thoughts about people that
propose in front of large groups of people because.
Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
Oh maybe like there there's aul terror motives and it's
not just genuine that is worst case scenario. Okay, what
were your thoughts about someone who proposes in front of
his whole family the first night you meet someone?
Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
Well, he didn't propose.
Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
He proposed that you join him to the ACM and
I was just like laugh at all.
Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
And so then he asked again and I told him
I would go as his friend, but I literally told
him it was me and Jesus and that I wasn't
interested in dating, not just him, but like anyone. Yeah, yeah, anyway,
and so then yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Then you fell in love with ASAMs when did y'all
fall in love?
Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Well, I did fall in love with the sisters of
the Asms because they were there. So you're like, okay,
really bonded. Like we went out to dinner one night
and it was Shay and his two sisters and me
and Erica and Gabby had the best time.
Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
You're like, okay, Okay, I could see this forever.
Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I think that like knowing them now, they one hundred
percent were like vetting me for their brother, but I
wasn't interested in their brother, and.
Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
So it's a perfect man.
Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
I just had like a good girl's time. And yeah,
and again I've shared this million times, but I tried
to scare him off that weekend because he was like,
I really want to date you, and I was like, look,
I've been through too much. I'm not I don't care
for games. Like next man I date, I'm gonna marry him,
(01:02:28):
and he's.
Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Gonna lay it on the table, sister. Yeah, I was like,
he's gonna So you know this is where I stand
in the story.
Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Yeah, I was like, I was like, he's gonna lead
our family in Christ. We're gonna raise our babies to
like love Jesus and and this is like what you
say to someone to scare them off right, like you're not.
He's just like, I am up for the challenge. I
think he was twenty three at the time and just
starting getting mussion and so I was like, this will
get rid of him.
Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Yeah, and he said sign me up.
Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Literally it was just like his face lit up and
I my friend. After this conversation, I was like, crap,
I think he loves me. Like in that moment, I
was like, oh crap.
Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
I was like no.
Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
And I think what scared me the most is I.
Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Felt God going like this nudging you towards sending me
out of my little nest that I had made over
the last year. And he sure threw you out though,
huh he did. You've seen the whole world, the girl
coaster of Shay, huh.
Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
I have seen any things, so many things, a lot
of good, a lot of bad, a lot of in between.
Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Tell me the high and tell me the low because
we got to wrap up forward the end. But tell
me the highs like the best of the best of
Shay and tell me the loaves and aren't that low's
but like where they've led you to now?
Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
Because he had a big breakthrough yeah, he did. I've
again been really candid. You can probably find this all over,
but we shared a lot. We've shared our whole story.
I love that. And I'm actually super proud of him
because it's it takes a real man to be transparent. Yes,
it does about the things that they struggle with or
have you know, dealt with or noticed that needed to
(01:04:01):
change right and then change even the awareness of it.
And and Shay has done that. And I'm just so
proud because I've received many messages and I know that
he's received so many messages from men that are like me,
and thank you for sharing that. It's changed my life
and it's it's given me hope to know that like, hey,
I'm not alone, I'm not the only one, and that
(01:04:21):
I can turn it around. And it wasn't everything, and
it wasn't Shaye, it was it was like it was
like it was God like getting Shay to this place.
So why did he know he needed to turn stuff around?
It was a culmination of things. It was like health
and anxiety and panic attacks and we had our second baby.
(01:04:42):
COVID happened. That was hard for all artists mentally. They
were about to start tour, got poolled.
Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
Is that when Dana Shay almost broke up to no
it was like after that, the aftermath, the hall just compounded.
Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
Yea. I was maybe two years after that, Okay, they
were This is a fun fact. They were one of
I think nine artists nine tours that actually went on
that year or the following year after COVID because everything
shut down for COVID.
Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
And it was really sad because they were about to
their first arena tour and they had really busted throughly.
Speaker 3 (01:05:13):
They did two weekends. It was like the Arena Tour,
the Arena tour, it was such a big deal, and
they did there. They had two back to back shows
at Bridgestone in town. Ames was two weeks old and
like brand new, and then they like went the next
weekend to a show and the show literally got canceled
(01:05:34):
in the world shutdown. So I was happy during this
time because I had someone newborn and a toddler and
came home for the first time, so I was happy.
He was really trying to figure out a lot, and
he again he talks about this, and he talks about
this moment and he cries and I cry when he
shares it. But like of like he's got you know,
(01:05:56):
a grammy sitting up on the mantle and we've got
all these things. But likea like toddler Asher runs by
and he's like, Daddy, chase me get my tickles. And
she's just like, man, what am I chasing? You know,
like I've got the grannies, I've.
Speaker 2 (01:06:16):
Got oh my DearS were gone, and he's.
Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Just like, what am I chasing? And I think that,
I mean, I know that was a pivotal.
Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Moment when there's a little boy that loves me with
anything that was.
Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Yeah, and like they just care that you're there, you know,
And so it was really a culmination and that was
like one moment for him, and there were a few
others even in our marriage because it was really hard.
Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
And also just like this, Michael gave up drinking and
I know shaded too and has she still continued to
so is Michael. And it's like when you are in
this career, you don't even know you're drinking a lot,
because like everyone, it's a party, you're on tour, you're
having breakfast mimosas, you're having a lunch meeting with a cocktail.
I mean, it's just NonStop and it reeps up on you.
(01:07:00):
You don't even realize that you're then.
Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
You need more and more and more to even feel anything.
Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Exactly, and it's just the lifestyle that's just happening, and
it just kind of swallows you up sometimes it does.
Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
And it really turned into coping and like escapism. And
there was a point where I think that he realized,
like this is this is gotta stop.
Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
But good for him. And I will say this just
like for so many guys like Michael kind of had
the same thing. It wasn't like it was like a
huge awful moment. It wasn't like it's just not working
right and I'm not evaluating my life and I just
don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
Like I've checked out in my life why And like
it's like taking the time to be self aware enough
to be like okay, and that's that's hard work. Like
I did a we did a marriage intensive at on
site no okay, and but we did it with another couple.
It was a two Christian like husband and wife like
(01:07:57):
counselor pairs, and so we would come in with him
every day. And I was so excited about it because
I was like, we're going to fix all of Shay's problems.
Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Hannah. Yes, I feel like we are about to dive
into a whole new topic that is going to take
us to the depths of our souls, which I cannot
wait to get into. But we alread in an hour. Okay,
so are you down too? I don't feelve we can stop.
I feel like we have to keep going. Can you
stick around for a part two?
Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
I'm ready, let's do this.
Host
Caroline Hobby
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