May 2, 2018 • 59 mins
This girl is everything. You see her, and your jaw hits the floor because she is just so damn beautiful. Then you get to know her. You see that she has the worlds biggest, brightest heart. She has been through so much hardship from an abusive relationship (which she openly, bravely shares about), infertility struggles, to overcoming it all with a fairly tale ending of finding her handsome prince and being pregnant with their first child, little angel girl. Jessica moved to NYC right out of High School to pursue becoming a Top Makeup Artist/Stylist. She boldly went to a Model "Open Call" and introduced herself to the head booker, but not as a model, a makeup artist. Her confidence and natural skill led him to let her shadow Pam Anderson's makeup artist, and then the rest is history. Jess does all the top celebrities hair/makeup/style. She makes everyone look so naturally beautiful and sexy. She is fearless, and she never lets one rejection or hard time set her back. She gives great advice to young influencers about why being authentic and never doing anything just for a paycheck is crucial. LOVE HER!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carol. She's a queen of talking. He's got the scoop.
No one can do Carol Carol. No one can do
(00:31):
Carol Carolin. This interview is so awesome. I have Jessica
Payne with me. I called her Jeff Southern because that's
her Instagram name and I always just know hers Jess Southern,
but her real name is jess Payne because she married
the love of her life and she's freaking awesome. She's
a makeup artist, not just any makeup artist, celebrity makeup artist.
(00:52):
She started when she was just out of high school,
moved straight to New Yorker and hear all about that story.
She marked straight up to Forward Agencies, Model Agencies, and
like brought her portfolio. She says should go get her.
Her first kid she landed was with Pamela Anderson's makeup artists.
It's incredible and she's also just one of the kindest people.
She shares her whole journey. She's been on Jesse James
Decker's TV show on e all the seasons that she's
(01:14):
had it on. She's just an incredible person. She's so interesting, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous,
and she's pregnant with her little girl. Oh, y'all get excited.
Here's jess Paine a K. Jess Southern. Oh my goodness, Jess, Hi,
I'm so happy to see you. Jessica Payne, Yes, yes, okay,
(01:38):
So I always called you jes Southern because that is
your Instagram Instagram handle, but it's Jessica Payne. MS. Miss
is Jessica Payne. This is Jessica Payne. I know. It's
so funny because sometimes people are like, wait, I thought
Southern was your last name, and I'm like, no, I
don't even know I have a Southern tattoo. And that's
the whole reason I did it. Other than that I
have no I mean, I'm born from the South, but yeah,
(01:59):
that's it, so not my last name. I do love that.
How so, just you are born from the South and
southern it says southern is what your tattoo says. Yeah,
it's um. It used to be. I felt very like
Angelina esque, you know what, a girl like. I was like,
I'm gonna get a badass tattoo and it just says
southern and like an old like kind of whiskey riding
(02:21):
and I don't even drink whiskey, so it doesn't even
make sense, but I just love the font and yeah,
it just says southern, so that's kind of why I
did it. I was like, well, I don't know what
my Instagram names should be. Well, I haven't tattoo that
says southern, so I'll just go with that. I love it,
and I fel like I'm wondering how bad it's gonna
stretch when I'm older, but I know that's how I
feel too, Like I'm I got tattoos in my arms.
(02:43):
I'm like, when I have like saggy old lady skin,
is it gonna be like three little birds on fence posts,
I'm gonna have so many wrinkles in between, and that's
a guy that's a face in there. Yes, it will.
Actually that's what mine will say, like s N or something,
because I know an old man that had his name
was Phil, and I was like, why do you have
PL on your arm? And he goes, no, honey, and
he's stretched out and it's actually Phil, but because he's
(03:05):
so old, it like just wrinkled up to p L.
So I'm like, I'm gonna have s N when I'm older. Hey,
you know, living in the moment, enjoying the day. I'm like,
I'll worry about that when i'm older. Exactly exactly, I'll
get a tattoo removal of that point. Okay, so we're
reaching the end of my influencer series, So happy you
(03:25):
could join me via skypird Zoom whatever this is. I
have never done this before. I am so technology like idiotic.
So this is amazing that it's working. I know, I'm impressed.
I'm like, I've never even heard of zoom? What is that?
I heard it from Julie Solomon. She was like, because
I'm gonna sing with her and she was like, have
you do you have Zoom? And I was like, no,
but if she's using it's probably what we should do.
(03:47):
It's it's probably yeah, exactly, she's so smart with all
that stuff. I'm putting everything, you know, everything, but you're
so smart. Yes, Like, if Julie says it, then that's
what we need to do. Yes, I agree with that.
So I kind of just want to talk to you
about your journey. Tell me about like how you got
into makeup, how you what your thoughts on influencing are,
(04:09):
what this whole wild West world is of social media?
Like being a job now, you know, like because so
many people want to get into this world because it's
it is such just a new world with so much potential.
Like how how did you get into makeup and then
entertainment and how did it evolve into the social media
(04:30):
empire that you have? So I got into makeup, so
my my dad. Um, it was so funny because like
I think, like back then it was so weird, but
it's it's kind of common now. So my mom worked
at a chemical plant and my dad was a hairstylist,
so it was such like a reversal of like, you know,
(04:51):
what the normal gender jobs were back then, which is
so weird. Um, So my dad was a hairstylist and
he is the creative one, and my mom was the
like buy the book, organized one. So I took after
my dad and my sister, my half sister, um in
that aspect. And I you know, I always loved, like,
(05:15):
you know, watching the hairstyles and the cutting, and even
though I knew I didn't want to do that, Like
I knew that I personally didn't want to cut or color,
um because I'm too a d D. I would mess
up somebody's color just by like talking to them. So
I know better than that. But I knew that I
wanted to do like something artistic, and I started drawing,
So I instead of drawing, I would paint like faces.
(05:37):
So when I was in elementary and um, middle school
and high school, I would always like just paint faces, um,
and then I would you know, add makeup to them
and eyelashes and blush and all of this other stuff.
But I would love doing it with like flower pedals
because my memo, UM was like, honey, we lived in
the Great Depression. We just like ground up some flowers
(05:59):
and put water in it, and that's what we did.
That's what we used for makeup. So that was like
my first actual makeup was you know, grounding up flowers
in the garden with my mammal and I could put
it on the paper and then she would let me
put it on my cheeks. But my mom did not
know about it. Um. My mom was very and my
mom was very anti makeup. UM. And then I started
(06:23):
doing it like on my friends and on you know,
like I didn't I didn't get to do it all myself.
My mom was very strict about that, so I could
do it on her. I could do it all my friends,
and I started doing it for girls for prom and
then um, I was like, this is what I want
to do. And I moved to New York and I
(06:44):
went to New York. I was eighteen when I moved
to New York, Like I literally graduated said out. Yeah,
I went straight to New York because I was like,
where'd you go up? Where'd you go in Kingsport, Tennessee. Okay,
So I was like, if I don't leave now, I'm
going to be here. It was like kind of like
it's it's a great town, but it's one of those
towns that if you don't, like I feel like immediately leave,
(07:06):
then like you just might stay. So I was like, Okay,
I graduated, and you knew you had dreams you had
to pursue, so you're like, I gotta get out. Yeah. Yes,
And I knew that, like I wanted to do makeup
in magazines, Like that's what I wanted to do. I
didn't know what it was called, but I knew that
was it. And I went to the Forward Modeling Agency,
(07:27):
which is hilarious because they were models everywhere in New York.
You just walked into it. Yeah. So I looked up
for their open calls because I didn't know how to
start as a makeup artist. So I'm like so short. Obviously,
I'm like five to and um a tad thicker than
the most models to New York especially. So I'm like
(07:49):
in this agency and I have this little these little
photographs of a book and they were from prom pictures
and makeup that I've done on my mom, like not
a makeup artist book. And I walked in and they
got to my name because it was an open car,
and he was like, sweetie, these pictures aren't you. So
(08:12):
I'm confused. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
And I was like, yeah, no, I want to do makeup.
And he was like, oh okay. He was like because
and I'm like, I know I'm too short and I'm
too chubby, So it's okay chubby for I am for
those like tall, thin models, Yes I am. So I
don't know, I want to do makeup. And he was like,
(08:34):
you know what, I admire your ambition. What I'm gonna
do is set you up with this photographer Andrew Bruckner,
and he works with a lot of makeup artists and
he'll have you learned, and he was like, because now
it's there. He was like, I can see, like for
you not to have any training, it's there. We just
need to tweak some things. So he introduced me to Andrew,
(08:56):
and then Andrew introduced me to um Alexis Vogel, which
was Pam Anderson's makeup at the time, and she had
all like the Vogel cosmetics. Oh gosh, was perfect Pam
Anderson's makeup artists. Immediately, I was like I was dying
because you know, I'm in the South and I loved
any girl with big blonde hair, you know. And I
(09:17):
was just like, oh my god, you did the liplider
on Pam Anderson, like you have your you have your
own makeup one. I watched it late at night, like
when I'm asleep, like yeah. So I was so excited.
And um, I learned pretty much everything from her, which
is weird because people are like, what did she tell you?
(09:40):
She didn't tell me anything for you like her apprentice. Yeah,
so I assist. So she had a bunch of assistance,
but I would assist her like on shoots. Okay, um,
and I got to assist on the sheet with Pam
Anderson and I was just like dying, like the whole
day I was in it was she so nice he was.
She was like the nicest, nicest, nice as human, like
(10:01):
so sweet. And I get so defensive when somebody says
anything bad about her, like don't you talk about him
that way? Like at my pain? Would you talk about Pam?
She is a nice woman, like I love her um
And yeah, so she didn't. She wasn't like this is
what you need to do. If I asked, oh, how
did you do that, she'd be like, well, how do
(10:22):
you think that I did it? Like I want to
figure about want have you figured out? So it was
a weird way of teaching, but I liked it because
her biggest thing. And it's stuck with me to where
I went on to train UM artists at a company
called Washington, but it's stuck with me. Then she was like,
I never want to take away somebody's natural instinct because
(10:43):
your natural instinct is usually the best way that you're
going to portray that type of work. So how would
you naturally do that? Okay, And it might have been
different than her way, but it was really cool, Like
it was really cool, like you could be the best
artist you could be that I could take inspiration from her,
but like be yourself exactly. And it was such a
(11:08):
cool way. And most people when I tell them that,
they're like, that's so weird. You would think that she
would tell you this stuff, and I'm like, yeah, but
she also really made me think. So it made me
go home and like mixed colors and work to see
how I blended better or how I controured better. It
(11:28):
just it made you think, which I think is awesome.
And it genuinely taught me to be my own artists
as opposed to just call he did. That's incredible. So
you got right into I got very well because because
luck to me is true. But you also majorly put
(11:50):
yourself out there by moving to New York City and
jumping into like forward modeling agency and like just showing
up with your poor fault folio from high school. You know,
I mean that to me is what it takes. You
have to be brave and take that jump. You know. Yes, No,
I a hundred percent agree with that. Everybody thought I
was completely crazy, and my mom didn't want me to
(12:11):
move obviously. She wanted me to go to college. And
do you know the right, the right thing, that the
good thing that you should do because education is very important.
But I was like, no, that's not what I want
to do, like I want to I want to do this,
And she gave me one month to make so she
paid for one month of rent, food, subway, everything. She
was like the next month. If you don't have it,
(12:33):
you come back home. You had you had a quick
timeline I had. I had. I had thirty days of
a timeline in New York City at eighteen, only thirty days.
Girls got to go. Yeah. So my second day there,
I went and got a job at a company called
wet Seal. I love what Seals. It was so good
(12:54):
right ever, just a little bit slutty, perfectly just look
perfectly slow. I heard too much, but it was amazing.
So I got a job there and then I realized
after my paycheck that I wasn't going to make my
New York rent. And I was talking to one of
the girls about it. I'm like, I just don't want
to go home, like I can really do this. She
was like, let me introduce you to this guy, Seth,
(13:16):
who works at this nightclub called Swede. And I was like,
oh my god, the suede that like all this slebs
go to like like Joey Fatone Tuesdays. Oh my god.
So I was like, yes, so I worked coach check
um at Swede and believe it or not, CoA check
in New York pays very well. Really, Oh my gosh,
(13:38):
I don't think yeah, girl, yes it pays. It pays
so good because they're paying you to do the job
and then you're getting like a dollar per coade that
you check and it's New York so it's cold, like
dropping the coaches that night. Wow. So yeah, I mean
like I made my rent in like four days. So
tip standing on moving to New York. Become a coach.
(14:00):
Didn't become a coach check girl. You don't really have
to do. Anything you have to do is like give
them their tag and then is it. And people are like,
oh really co check. I'm like until you get the money, like,
don't don't knock it, because I did what I had
to do, and I did that and I worked with
the most I met some of the most amazing people. Say,
(14:20):
you probably met awesome people because people coming in and
out of a bar like that or a nightclub are
probably pretty fantastic. Yeah, No, they were awesome and I
still you know, um, one of the owners was Aton Sugarman,
and I still keep in contact with him, Like he's
got a great restaurant now. Like that whole family was
just so close knit and any time I had a
(14:41):
problem or anything, I would go to them. They were
like big brothers. So it was it was just great
and that's yeah. And then after that I just started
I'm sorry, Oh, it's like, um, the dogs are crazy.
There's like a Melman. They're like, get real, life is happening.
It's all good, it's happening, and like yeah pharaohs like
I need a tention. I need attention. Um. But yeah,
(15:05):
so after that I just started to makeup. And then
I got with Fuel TV and then they're like, hey,
you want to move out to l A and do
p j um fuel TV. So it was like action
sports because I loved action sports. And then that's when
I moved to l A. Okay, so then you get
in l A and then do you just get into
the whole world and make up out there? Was that
an easy transition for you? That was? It's weird because
(15:27):
I worked in action sports and that was easy and
steady work. Um and then a lot of other stuff
happened in l A that kind of unfortunately put my
makeup on hold because, Um, I was with somebody that
genuinely was scared of me being successful. So I've seen
(15:48):
your YouTube videos. We don't have to go into this,
but like, I think it is so incredible how honest
you've been about all of your journey with that. Yeah,
because so many women I feel like, and all the
women listening yesterday, you were such an inspiration for your
because you were in a very bad relationship and came
(16:08):
through that on the other side, and you've been honest.
But I thought struggle and so I just think that's
so great that you put that off there because so
many goals. How she decided to be honest about that? Um,
I'm gonna get Harlowe. Harl wants to talk Harlo. She's
(16:33):
the oldest one and she gets a little bit grumpy.
Um My nieces called her the grumpy one. They won't
They're like, she's the grumpy one. It's okay, she's old Harlow. Um,
but wait, what was the question? How did you decide
to be honest about that relationship? Um, you had to
go into whatever. No, I mean, I think for me,
(16:58):
I wanted to because what's so weird is that people
kind of knew about it because if they emailed me,
that was my last name, so then they would kind
of know about it. And then unfortunately, when we went
through a divorce, TMZ picked it up and any time
that there was like a bad thing that happened, they
(17:20):
picked it up, and it wasn't it wasn't the right story,
you know what I mean. I'm like, um, I wasn't
shopping with my ex husband, Like he literally came to
my store and like you know, got very aggressive. But
I just thought, like, you know what, if I can
help one person at all, then it's worth it to share.
And then more importantly to that, like a lot of
(17:43):
women and even like friends or anybody, I just don't
think like they understood like and I also wanted to.
I wanted to reach out to the people that were
in the relationship, but I also wanted to reach out
to the people that weren't in the relationships, so that
way they kind of maybe had little bit of a
sense of compassion about how to handle that. Because if
(18:04):
you have a friend who is in a situation and
relationship because it's so hard because I'm like, what they
don't understand is that, like, you do love that person
and you want to see the good in them and
you want to fix them. So like maybe kind of
don't come down so hard on that person because they're
in a very delicate state and they need support, and yes,
(18:25):
they need not get hard on. Yeah, but it's like
they just I just wanted to kind of like look
at both sides and have both sides understand the relationship
a little bit more. So, like now these people know
a little bit more about what it's like to be
in an abusive relationship and how you know, manipulative it
(18:46):
really is, and how you believe whatever this person is
telling you unfortunately, And then I wanted the girls that
were in it to understand that, like listen, like it
can only get worse. It will never ever ever get better.
It will only get worse. And no matter how embarrassing
it might be for you to leave that situation, at
(19:06):
least you'll leave it alive. At the end of the day.
You have a better chance of survival if you just
leave that situation. So that was why, that was why
I really really wanted to do it and put it
out there. I just think that as incredible, Jess, And honestly,
you are such a beautiful woman to share that because
(19:27):
so and I think especially when you're a young girl
in a city like l A and you meet someone
who's exciting and like, it's so easy to potentially fall
into a relationship, especially when you don't maybe know exactly
who you are all the way. Yeah, I know, and
I was. I mean I was so young, and but
I also I never knew that he had problems, Like
I didn't. Everybody's like, how did you not know what?
(19:47):
I'm Like? I was, I was nineteen. I had just
turned nineteen when I met him, and I come from
a small town that my family didn't even drink, you
know what. I feel Like when he was acting crazy,
I just thought he was hyper and entertaining. I never
thought that there was Like I was so naive and
I'm like, if I would have met him at this age,
(20:07):
I would have been like, boy, what is wrong with you?
Like I am not going down this road. I know
exactly what this road is and I'm not doing it.
But it's like, you know what, like you live and
learn and m because of that, I not that I'm
not saying I wouldn't I wouldn't have appreciated my husband
because of that, but I generally think like things like
that make you who you are. And I know that
(20:32):
I am so appreciative of Logan, probably twenty times more
than maybe I might have been if I wouldn't have
went through something like that. You know, like I might
take little things for granted that he does and says,
but like I don't take anything for granted. I'm like,
you're amazing, and he's like they have. All I said
(20:53):
was you look pretty. I'm like, you know, it's amazing,
but he you now are and that's what's so great now.
Logan loves every bit of you, appreciates you, Like how
amazing that you do have your fairy tale because it
can't happen Like it didn't happen, I know, And that's
that's also what I wanted to portray it. I'm like,
I was older when I met Logan, and that's okay,
(21:16):
Like that is might even better because you have your
head on more straight. I have my head on straight.
I know who I am, I know what I want
to do, and like we're both in the same place.
And yeah, it's just it's awesome having a baby, girl, baby,
I'm so happy for you. Just like that would make
(21:37):
me cry my eyes having to cry, like you're like, Oprah,
I'll cry now at that point. It's just so beautiful
because honestly, like you see someone who goes through so much,
and we all have our own struggles, you know, but
in your case scenario, like you went through Helen high
Water for love and it was the wrong situation and
you still believe in love, like you never even gave
(21:58):
up even after all the crap that you went through,
and then you meet Logan and you had to go
through another struggle to get pregnant. And what do you
want to say to women out there who are struggling
to get pregnant, because I am just now realizing how
incredibly delicate pregnancy is and how hard it is because
I've been like trying to avoid getting pregnant my whole life,
and you know, he's still entering the phase where like
my husband Michael and are thinking about kids and it
(22:19):
is such a delicate thing and it's such a blessing
and there's so many things that happened with pregnancy. It's
no it is it's so crazy because, like you said,
like you avoid you basically spend your twenties being like
stay away from mebe what are you doing? We need
to run to see the s real fast. What happened?
This happened. And then it's like and I thought, which
(22:42):
is and I feel like naive? Because my husband says,
he's like, Babe, sometimes you're you're still a little naive.
But I love that about you and I don't want
you to lose that about you. But I thought I
was like, well, you know what, like you said, like
I went through hell and back, like I have the
perfect husband now and like we have like our version
of a perfect life together having a baby. I'll be
(23:03):
knocked up in three months, Like this is gonna be
so easy. And then it didn't happen. I'm like, okay,
so maybe we need to try harder. Girl. We were
trying pretty hard and it just never happened. I was like, okay, UM,
so yeah, we eventually, after tracking and tracking, we went
to the doctor foun out way to um, well, I
had endometriosis. So we got that all cleared out there,
(23:24):
like you'll be pregnant in three months, um, within two
to three months because you're like, your insides are like
a sixteen year old. You're like brands making me laser
it out? Is that the laser treatment, it's it's um.
So I had four procedures done, so I had laparoscopic surgery, heteroscopy,
a d n C, and um my philope my left
(23:47):
phallopian tubes. So I had a lot of pain. But
my left phallopian tubes both my Philippian tubes were closed,
so I wasn't even even though I was ovulating, no
egg was dropping. So it was wrapptor on my bladder. UM.
So they had to un do that. So they were
like after that, like we flushed the water out, both
sides came out and meeting your eggs are gonna drop,
you'll be pregnant in two months, And I'm like great, awesome.
(24:10):
So then two months came around and we didn't get pregnant.
In our neighbor was like, we're having twins, and it
was like the day that I took the test and
found out that I wasn't pregnant again, and I was
so happy for them, but I was just like why.
So luckily he my my husband and him started talking
and Logan was like, maybe, why don't I just go
(24:31):
get checked before they keep like poking you and doing
all this stuff. You, why don't I go get checked?
And he went to go get checked and we found
out that to get like he had UM, he had
an issue with him UM, a morphology problem I had.
After more tests, I had a very low ovariant reserve UM,
(24:52):
even though it was high two years ago, which is
so crazy that it could be like hi and then
I'm low. I guess that's what they say in your thirties.
It started, It's like everyone puts some My must have
went like a straight down here in mind wasn't even
like a roller coaster. Mind was like thirty boom drop. Yeah,
it was just like straight dropped down. UM. But yeah,
(25:14):
so they're like, you really only have one option and
that's IBF, and we can put you on medicine and
maybe do a surgery on him and a surgery on
you and then you might have a higher chance. And
we were like, no, we're not going to do that
to ourselves. Like if you say IBF L two ib F,
like whatever we can. We got this UM. But yeah,
I mean it's so hard and girls that are like
(25:36):
trying to get pregnant, like like just it sounds so cheesy,
but it's literally like don't give up hope. But more
importantly like beer on advocate because I think, like I
knew from before I had my surgery in June. I
had to fight for my indo surgery because I was like, no,
there's something not right, like and doctors and friends are like, no,
(25:57):
all you have to do is like going a trip,
have a margarita, You'll get pregnant. I'm like, carl, if
that is not the case, have sex, thank you. Yeah.
I like great sex without a margarita, Like we don't
need a like a vacation and a margarite at act
and that's not how it happens. And I just I
(26:18):
felt like I had to push my doctor to be like, no,
I know something's wrong. I want to be scheduled for
the surgery. Um. And then I had to schedule two
months later and I was like, I'm not pregnant. I
know that there's something wrong, Like we have to do something.
And I came in and I had my husband's results,
my results, and she was like okay, well you're prepared
and this is what you gotta do. Um. But you
(26:39):
just have to be your own advocate. And to me,
if you haven't gotten pregnant in like six d eight months,
go to the doctor and make them test you, like,
make them test your husband. Um. Doctors will say that
they don't want to do any thing with fertility until
a year. We didn't wait that long, and I'm so
happy we didn't because if we would have waited the
full year after my indo surgery, we still wouldn't be pregnant.
(27:03):
Now we would just be starting ibs, like, oh my god.
So that's why I'm like, no, you have to be
your own advocate for yourself. I goes for all things.
You have to be your own advocate for yourself in
all areas of life. Absolutely let someone else take the
reins of their own life. How does anyone else know
how to direct your life? You know? Yeah, because you
know yourself best. At the end of the day, you
(27:25):
know you and whatever you want, Like I mean, if
I had to fight for everything that I wanted, you
know what I mean, And I think most people do.
So it's like if you want something, like if you
want it bad enough, like you fight for it. And
me and him wanted a baby more than anything in
this whole world, and we were like, Okay, perfect IVF
(27:47):
let's do it. This is what we have to do.
Like let's go so so happy for you, j and
I'm so glad of you. Like you you have fought
for you have fought for your happiness in every area
of your life, and you have it. And that's why
I think it is so important for women. I don't
I don't only mean to talk to women, because this
(28:08):
goes to men too, but I just know a lot
of women are not so used to being as bold
as men were in the past. But like this season
that we're in of life, that's I feel like where
we're going as a society and culture, women are really
stepping up and like figuring out exactly what they want.
They're not scared to speak up. And I think that
you are a prime example of someone who is a
spot for themselves and their happiness in all areas. And
(28:30):
that's what that's such a great role model, Like you're
such a great role model. Thank you. No, I just
I mean, like like my mom, you know what I mean,
Like my mom was that way, like my my memmos
that way. So they just genuinely fight for everything and
I'm like, honestly, like, we're only here once, you know
what I mean, Like, and you know what I've started
(28:51):
realizing for it. Once we're gonna die. I mean, in
a hundred of years. No one's really even remember us
at all. Anyway, you might as well just live the
life you want and go all in, which kind of
makes me want to bring bring to the influencer part
of this, how so many people are so scared to
put themselves out there special and so especially on social
media and things like that. And social media is crazy.
(29:13):
It can be really disheartening. It can really like, it
can make you feel like you're not as good as
someone else, comparing hold on, Michael, schedule an appointment at
our house right now? They Oh, we're gonna do about that, Okay,
hold on, uh, Michael, didn't check our joint calendar. We
have hold on a second, I remember us. You have
a joint calendar. That's impressive. Sorry, j'all mind is being
(29:38):
very quiet. Sorry about that. Yeah, this is called get
real and U Sometimes your husband and you aren't on
the same page with your calendar. Is all good? I
love it. Me Logan would be impressed that you had
a calendar, for one, he would be more impressed that
you wrote something down because I'm like, no, it's in
(29:58):
my mind, babe. And he's like, it is not in
your mind. You live your life like Steven Tyler, Jimmie,
it's not all of your mind, babe. Down I know.
If it's not written down, it's not happening. That's what
he says. I'm like, no, I remember, like me for
the baby, and I'm like, babe, it's today, it's at
like twelve thirty and we have to go. And he's like,
(30:19):
where's it written down at? Why did you write it all?
Because it's in my head. It's fine. I know. If
it's not written down, it's not happening. But that with
with social media and stuff. How do you feel about
social media? Because you are a queen, your queen, you
have a huge following and girls like everything you say,
girls want because they trust you. And I think that's
another thing, like trust is social media. But tell me
(30:39):
what you think the pros and the cons are and
then how you navigate your social media world? Well, I
think and I tell I actually tell our friend Jessee
this all the time. I'm like, I'm like, girl, I'm like, listen,
the whole reason I have people following me is because
they're waiting for me to post one bad picture of you,
(31:00):
want to picture of you bending over on the toilet
or something like. They're waiting for me to post a
picture of you that they've never seen before. And I'm
a good friend. So first of all, she doesn't take
a bad photo, even like I mean, if she's thrown
up sick, she still doesn't take a bad photo. But
also I'm like, I'm also a better friend than that.
I would never post a bad picture of her, So
(31:21):
while are following me, wait on something that is never
gonna happen. No, But also because you are amazing in
your own right, you're career, you're an incredibly you're an
incredibly interesting person to follow. Also, um, you're very sweet,
because I feel like I'm very bland. You're not where
I'm like two out there. Um. But yeah, I mean
(31:44):
I don't know. So I love social media and the fact,
like what I love about it is I think that
you can't I gotta tell Hey, they funny. Michael, Okay,
I'm talking a little. I'm sorry, Sorry, thank you, sorry?
Or Michael, Um, you know what I love about social
media is that you can you know, if you have
(32:06):
a struggle, you can help people. And if you want
to share something brand new that you love, you can
also share that. And because I love sharing, like I
you know, anytime somebody's like, oh, where did you get that,
like I'm like, oh, I got it here, like because
me and all of my like all of all of
us like like you know, like we're very open. Like
(32:27):
if we're all like if everybody's hanging out, it's like,
oh my gosh, you have to try this new restaurant,
or you have to try this new hair product. Like
it's just very open. And that's what I love about
social media is because like I go through and I
find stuff from like other bloggers and you know, and
I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have to buy that. I'm
gonna try. It's great. And I just think it's so
(32:47):
awesome because you get to put out what you love
and people can try it and maybe they haven't heard
about it, and I think that's like amazing. And then
that's what I feel like social media is being used
in the positive way. And I think maybe when you're
a little bit older, I feel like social media maybe
when you're younger. It can really I don't know. Actually
I have no idea. I don't. I mean the career
(33:10):
platform to how do you use it? How do you
make it a career? Like what would you tell young
influencers wanting to get in this game? Like how do
you make this your career? That is a very good question. Um,
because it's so because what's so weird is that I
don't look at it as a career. I think, which
(33:35):
is which is really weird. But also I tell everybody,
I'm like, I am like the worst blogger. I will
like barely post something, um, and then I'll get distracted
by my four other jobs that I have, and then
I might it might get posted like four months later
and it doesn't even make sense. They're like, what is
(33:57):
she talking about? I'm like, oh, sorry, it was that
conversation like four months ago that I told you I
would I would have this is it I've been I've
been sitting on my computer um and edit the whole time.
So I'm so sorry. But yeah, I mean I think,
like for girls that want to make it a career,
I think, um, you know, learning from somebody like go
(34:18):
follow a blockers. There's so many bloggers out there that
do tutorials and how two's of like how to become
a blogger, this is what you need to do. And
also try to look at like what you love in
life and focus on that. So if you're into cooking
and you are a great home chef and you know
easy recipes, focus on that, like and I think that's
(34:41):
so key, Like whatever you're really good at, whatever drives
your passion, put that out there because that's what the
world wants to see, because authentic truth. They want to see.
Authentic truth because you know, if I mean, like I'm
trying to think like for instance, like I mean I
do like go into the gym. I do like going
(35:01):
to the gym. I am not a trainer. I am
not somebody that is going to be like this is
absolutely what I need to eat. This is how you
do this exercise. Um, I might share a couple of
things just because I'm like, hey, I've been doing this,
but I'm also like, oh, I got that from the
Chloe Kardashian pregnancy app that's the that's the exercise of
that Chloe was doing while she was pregnant. That's how
(35:22):
I know about it. But if that's your thing. You
need to do that and start posting videos, and I
mean hashtagging I think is huge. I think you get
huge recognition from like hashtagging and just posting like good
original content. Um. And if you're not all over the place,
you know what I mean, because I think like if
you go into so many different realms, people get so
(35:44):
confused and they're like, what are you promoting? Yeah, like
I don't understand, Like what are you talking about? UM?
So for me, I just make it things that I
love because I kind of like I love makeup, I
love talking hair stuff, I love like home stuff to
anything that just like I personally love is what I
(36:08):
like to portray. So I'm never really going to post
like that many recipe pictures, you know, because it's not me.
I'll do something like I'll do a little insto stories
if I'm cooking and like super easy mills, and it
might be like a few, like a handful, But other
than that, I'm just I'm not that's just like not
my thing. So I'll be like, oh my god, I
(36:28):
love this and then that's it. But you're not going
to see any more of it. Um. And that's an
insistent thing that on this influencer series that pretty much
everyone has said is stay true to what you love,
because it shows if you're not being honest, it's going
to ring through because people eventually are going to pick
up on that because you can just you can tell,
(36:49):
and they're gonna be like I thought I was following
this person because they liked oranges, and now they're over
here liking enchiladas and I don't understand it, Like you
can't make any sense. It's totally like I totally, I
totally agree with that, And I think over time sustainability,
like if you want to sustain you have to be
real and authentic. Yeah, and no matter like what what
(37:11):
that is, just yeah, just be just be real. And
I try to tell everybody like I'm never going to
talk about something that I genuinely do not love, Like
if I talk about it, I'm loving it, I'm using it.
That's just it, Like that's it, that's it. Yeah, because
I'm like I'm yeah, because I feel like you lose
people's trust, Like if you post something that like you know,
(37:34):
doesn't work, then you're like you are you? Then? What
are you? Even? Then? What is your plathfore? Because you're
not really promoting you and you're I'm like, you get
that for a paycheck and you just lost my trust.
So I hope it was worth it, you know what
I mean check because I won't do that, and I've
I'm pretty hardcore about it. Um one of my agents. Really,
(37:58):
I'm pretty sure because I'm like, I'm not using that.
That product is horrible, Jessica, and I'm like, I'm not
doing it. It's are like why would I post about it?
I'm like, and you know, and then he'll be like, Okay,
well I'm gonna go back and talk to him, and
I'm like, don't waste your time. I am not doing
it for a million dollars, Like and I really wouldn't
(38:19):
because I would other have people's trust then have that paycheck,
because I mean, I am lucky. I have other things
to you know, that helps pay my bills, like my
YouTube and my social media doesn't you know, It's it's
not my main thing. Like I'm a makeup artist and
we're going to open a business, so it's like I
(38:40):
have other things that like I'm not going to push
something that I don't think that you're gonna love. You
know what you mean and if and hopefully you love it. Yeah,
and I keep you living authentic life, which I think
is what every Ultimately, the goal, even beyond influencing in general,
is people should figure out what you were saying earlier,
what do you love? Who are you? And live that
(39:00):
life in all areas of your life. Yeah, and if
you don't know who you are yet, like trying everything,
what would you say, trial and error, You're gonna know
if you like it or don't like it, Yes, like
do it? Do it one time? And I said that
at a family dinner, um one time, And I don't
know how that went over because I was like, oh no,
(39:22):
and I was like my motto before I got married
was try everything one Yeah, They're like what does that mean? Exactly?
Just yeah, they were like, um so and Logan was
just like it's like, I'm just saying, like you gotta like,
don't what is this saying? I can't think of it.
Don't knock it till you try it, right, Yeah my
(39:45):
brain is so not there sometimes, um but yeah, so yeah,
just like just wait, try it, see if you love it.
And if you don't absolutely love it, then it's not
for you. Like it's just that you closer to what
you love and then you know, like just keep being
closer and follow your curiosity and your interests. Interest? What what?
(40:06):
What is? What's the advice you would tell your younger self? Um,
my younger self, oh god um um. Sadly, for me,
it would probably be the guys that I dated, because
work wise, I was really driven. I'm I'm very proud
(40:27):
of my younger self in that aspect because I was very,
very very driven. Um, and I knew what I wanted
and I went for it. But even at like twelve,
I had a very bad thing with guys. So I
would say, justin, don't date the bad boys with um,
don't don't date the bad boys. You're clear, like you know,
if he got detention five times in school, just maybe
(40:49):
like real back in like that change. And don't pluck
your eyebrows because they will never grow back. That is
so true. I giant patchy newses and my eyebrows because that.
Don't do it. And then look your eyebrows and then
know that your mom is right. She's right about everything. Yes,
(41:12):
so yeah, I don't let the eyebrows stay away from
the bad boys and attention. And your mother is always right,
No wontter how much I wanted to argue it. She
is always right, like it never fails. And I'm like, damn,
you were really right about everything. Like how they know
they know she's like psychic, Like it's weird. They know everything.
(41:34):
They know what you're doing when you're not looking, which
is so scary to me. But because they've just loved
you so long and they've just and now you being pregnant,
I'm sure you're feeling it even more, you know, just
like knowing how a mother feels. It's so weird. Yeah,
I'm like, oh my gosh, Like I'm gonna be like
my mom, Oh my gosh, this is bad, but like
(41:56):
so good because she's awesome. But um yeah, I mean
I'm just like, oh, I said this would never happen,
and it's gonna happen, like it's happening right now. Um.
What do you think the point of life is? That's
kind of a really big question. I mean my point
of life is. I feel like I'm gonna sound like
(42:18):
a like an ad that's like live your best life,
you know what I mean, with like a big banner.
But like I do I think like like my point
to life or whatever is just to like love, show kindness,
live your best life because at the end of the day,
nobody knows if you're going to have it tomorrow, So
(42:39):
like just don't have any regrets. And if you get hurt,
the best part about being like a human, I think
is that we can rebuild ourselves. So if you go
out there and you get you know, shot down, or
you get told no, or your heart gets broken, that
(43:02):
only is a very short period in your whole life,
and you a can make it so much better and
just just never give up and like live your best life,
like to the best of your ability. How do you
bounce back from a heartbreak? What would you be yours?
Since you've had some major traumatic, heartbreaking things happen, how
(43:23):
how do you bounce back from that? How do you rebuild? Um?
I know a lot of girls are going to be
like chocolate and wine. Well I didn't do wine, so
that was not mine. Um my whole thing. Actually, I
dove into work for a lot of it. I dove
into work, which is actually good and bad. It has
(43:46):
pros and cons. So the pros that obviously you're working
very very very very very hard. The con is that
you're not addressing the issue at hand, which is the heartbreak.
So for me, I got over everything by taking a
step back and I actually I made a list of
everything that made me feel bad in the real so
(44:11):
you take inventory. Yeah, And I was like, this made
me feel bad and when he did this, this is
how it made me feel. And for me seeing it
on paper, I was like, wait a second, like why
would I love somebody that would do this? Like here's
the Like it wasn't even a pro and a con thing.
It was just like but yeah, just like why am
(44:34):
I letting somebody like this make me sad all the time?
Like I don't. I don't need to be sad because
this is this is an unhealthy person. Um. And that
was how I was able to recrup because I was like, okay,
so this is it and it was how it made
me feel. So now I need to rebuild myself and
start to appreciate me, which at that point I didn't
(44:58):
love myself at all. I was very much like out
of love with myself. I thought I didn't deserve anything.
So it took a very, very, very um a decent
amount of time for me to realize like, hey, it's
okay to like love other people, and it's okay to um,
you know, to love yourself, and it's okay to be selfish.
(45:19):
So like for me, it was putting myself first and
doing things that we're good for me, and that's how
I got over the heartbreak, which is kind of weird,
but I mean, I think stelf love has to come first,
like and there's a you know, and you can like
I think there's a difference between self love and like
just living this incredible. I mean, honestly, it's being selfish
(45:41):
though too is really important for a while. Like it's
so great eventually like expand and share, but like you
have to figure out how to love yourself first or
there's no way you're going to be able to give
it to anyone else. No, you can't. Like I couldn't
even tell um all of my friends. It's so funny.
I when I was in that bad relationship, I couldn't
even tell my friends that I loved them because I
(46:03):
was so without love in your life at that point. Yeah,
I was just so like closed off and I was like, okay,
this this person hurt me so like I'm not gonna
love you because like what if you do something bad?
So I wouldn't tell my friends that I loved them,
and they could tell me. I mean, they could be
crying in my face and be like I just lost
somebody in my family, and I would be stone cold.
I was like a wall and I would be like,
(46:24):
I'm sorry to hear that, Like I was a robot.
So for me, it was like learning to open up
my emotions and be like, you know what, like we
got hurt, We're better than that. We can continuously get
hurt because eventually it will pay off. Because don't open
yourself up, You're never gonna find love anyway, so you know,
(46:45):
might as well just get hurt a few times. Then
they'll eventually pay off. And that's it. I love that
I love and learn along the way, like don't just
so many things, yes, live like the sex in the
city life, just you know, just have fun, have your girls,
some cosmos, you know, have your aiden and then have
your Mr Big and have your Petrovsky, like just to
(47:06):
have them all, have your girger, have everybody burger, Oh
burger burger, I say gerber, have your burger and then
have Mr Big at the very end. And that's fine,
but just like do do you and keep your girlfriends
so close? And I think that is so important to
like having a great girl squad is everything and not
(47:27):
to be like girl power for life, but seriously girl
power because if you know, I know, because I'm like,
I literally don't know what I would do with all
like my friends, like I love them all so much
and there it's so important to have that, and I
think like sometimes you can lose that in relationships. I'm like,
you can't. Like your girlfriends need to be like your
(47:51):
loves as well, like they agree they need to be
like those are those are your girls? Like you love them,
they're yours to be selfish with them. I totally agree.
Jus Okay, I want to talk to you forever, but
we're almost like like an hour. Can you believe that?
So I'm gonna wrap up with leave your light. After
everything that you've gone through, all of your experiences good bad,
(48:13):
like traveling, like your careers, loves, friends, everything, just leave
inspiration of how everything you've experienced in your life, Like
this whole interview is inspiring, You're inspiring in general, but
like what just inspiration do you want to share? What
inspiration doing maybe with like younger girls especially, I mean,
(48:33):
you've given so much great insight, but just like just
some things that you've gathered along the way that maybe
I don't know mm hmm. Give me an example. I'm
having a blond moment like if what have you? It's
almost like I guess how I've kind of asked you
like advice to yourself, but like leave your light, Like
what like what do you think what would you like
(48:56):
your legacy to be? Like from everything you've gone through,
what would you like to put on the world, Like
if people are going to think of just Southern at
the end of the day of everything, what would you
want it to be? And how would you want to
like through your journeys, say like two younger people or
people watching this who look up to you like this
is it, this is what it's about, this is what
(49:18):
you know? Just sort of like yeah, I mean so,
which it's really weird. But I kind of had this
conversation um with my my mom the other day and
I was like, you know what, Like I was like,
I was thinking about it, and I want my daughter
to look back like when I die and be like
(49:38):
my mom was strong, She never took herself seriously and
she loved with her whole heart like and that's like
I was like, that's what i want. I'm like gonna
tear up, and I was like, that's what I want,
you know, my daughter to think of me as which
I'm literally gonna cry like, but I think like, and
(49:59):
that's how That's how I want my husband to, you know,
to remember me when when I passed. And I think
that goes for everybody. I just want people, you know,
to be like, she was strong, she loved with her
whole heart, she didn't take herself too seriously, like she
had fun, you know, And that's that's kind of it.
I know, if I talked about it all, I start crying.
(50:19):
It's so sad. I love that. Jeff. Yeah, so very cheesy.
And I'm hormonal, so I'll cry if you tell me
like Snoopy passed away or something embarrassing. You could burn
a hot dog and I'd be like, but it was
just trying to survive. Why did you burn it? You know,
I'm the cutest and you are all of those things,
(50:40):
and you are such an example, and you are someone
who I think is a constant bright light. You always
a radiating love has to be kindness. You have such
a you have such a light energy about you, Like
being around you is so easy to be around you
because you're just so welcoming to all. Oh thank you, well, special,
you are special, and thank you for using your platform
(51:04):
to make other people feel special, because you really do
a great job of that. No, well, thank you for
doing this, because all of your podcasts are like awesome
and I loved it. They're just like you know, they're
like they're really like women empowering and I love that.
So that's why I'm like, I think it's just awesome.
I think when I think, I really started this podcast
because I was just wanting to get inside of people's
brains who I looked up to, who have figured out
(51:26):
how to navigate life in a way that I really respect.
Because n getting this thing, especially when you aren't like
following a traditional formula, is really interesting. Yeah, you would
want to know, like trust me, Like I I watched
everything and I'm like, oh, okay, learn something, learn something,
like so good just to keep learning. And there's so
many ways to skin a cat, as they say, you know,
(51:48):
like nobody has to do it the same way. But
I just like to like for me personally, I like
to talk to people like you and other influencers and
other people doing great stuff and just figure out like, Okay,
how did you do that? Like like how did you
not let fear get the best of you? How did
you say brave? How did you find your calling? Like
you know, and that's what we're thing. How would you
tell someone to find their calling? Like you said, try everything.
Just be curious. Just just be curious, Like if you
(52:10):
if you have just like a small thought in the
back of your head that's like, you know, I think
I'd be really good at building furniture, but it's probably not,
Like maybe you know, I should be going to college
to be a professor. Just you know what, try it out,
because realistically, that that small little thing that you have
in the back of your head, that's that's your passion
(52:31):
that you're scared to pursue because you're scared of failing
at it. So try it and see if it works.
And if it, I mean, maybe you're really talented or
maybe you're really horrible at it, and you should just
make furniture pieces for your own house and that's it
and not have not sell them to anybody. But do
it so that way, like it's your passionate whether or
not I think. I mean, I think success depends on
(52:53):
how you view it, you know what I mean? Like,
I think success is being happy and and if you're
happy doing that, then do it. Like you might not
you know, that might not be your living, but you
can do it. You can be happy and that's all
that matters. Okay, one last question, because you touched on this,
and I think it's really interesting. What is failure to you?
Because you said you're scared of failing? So what happens
(53:14):
when you fail? So many people are so afraid that
when they failed, the world's gonna explode and everything's gonna end.
But what happens when you fail? Because someone like you
has probably run into some failure never But what is that?
Why are people so hard? Tell me what it really is?
I mean, failure to me is like okay, for instance,
if you and I and I'm very hard on myself,
(53:36):
so I'm my worst critic when it comes to work. Um,
I'm like, oh my gosh, like I feeled it that
that that is that isn't blended the way it should be.
That eyelier is broken. I'm horrible. Uh, I need to quit.
I should never do make up again. I should be
(53:56):
doing it on my dog. This is why don't you
know the rabbit hole so fast? I didn't know. I'm like,
I'm the worst. No one likes this. It sucks. Who
am I fast? I know? Logan's like, baby, you go
from like ninety too, like zero your past zero, You're
like in the ground. Um. But that's also because I'm
(54:16):
more like artistic and dramatic, So that's that kind of
comes into play. But I mean I think failure like
it should at least for me, it makes me want
to be better the next time. So I get very
down on myself for a few minutes and I'm like, oh,
that was not good. That was so stupid, Like why
did I mess it up? But then I'm like, Okay,
think about it. Why did I mess it up? How
(54:38):
can I fix it? What do I need to do? Okay,
this is what I need to do. So then I
kind of like like the failure was the problem. I
figured out a way to solve the problem or to
try to make it better, and then I attempted it again,
and if it fails the second time and that's not working, out.
Then I keep trying it, but I keep trying each
time to make it better. So what either from the failure? Yes,
(55:01):
So like I think like you just can't look at
it and be like I'll never do that again. Tweak it.
There's always a way to tweak it, because I think
every single failure ends up being um, it ends up
being a great success in the end. I just think
you have to focus on swallow you exactly because you're
just gonna get in like a little bubble and you're
(55:26):
never going to try it again because it didn't work
out one time, Like you're gonna give up after one try.
Just figured out what went wrong and do it again,
like and maybe you know, like I have a lot
of makeup artists that will be like how did you
do this? Or you know, how did you get started?
Or how like what can I do? And I'm like, honestly, assist.
(55:47):
Keep going out to agencies and reaching out to people
and saying like can I assist you? And I promise
you every note because they're like I feel like a failure.
They're saying no to me, right you need when yes,
it's more yeah, and it's like you know what, like
and next year. If you if you've got a whole
(56:08):
year of nose, keep going. You will eventually at some
point get a yes. And if it means that much
to you, then you'll keep doing it. If it doesn't,
then you're like it doesn't, just let it go. But
if it means that much to you, you will get
a yes and you will learn off that yes. But
maybe they said no because you needed to grow your book.
(56:29):
So what do you do? You go, you get a model,
you work on your craft, and you add to your book,
and then you go back. So like that's the thing.
If you keep getting knows, keep trying to improve yourself
as you go, like yourself yeah, because that's that's all
you can do is just continuously trying to improve you know,
whatever you failed at, just improve it and work on
(56:49):
it and go again. You know, like super easy. I
mean it's not easy, but it's like give you a
moment and then get out of your head. Yeah you do.
We have Margarita drowning the sorrows, like drink it up
and then the next day just be like, Okay, we're
gonna have to go through this again, you know, Like
(57:11):
and if it was an interview, maybe I need to
show up fifteen minutes earlier. Maybe I need to, you know,
go get my suit on, just just go do it again.
You're fine, totally, completely fine. You will get a Yes.
I believe that. I don't know anybody in my life
that has consistently gotten to know. Yeah, you will get it, yes,
and eventually. And also and also, don't like take yourself
(57:35):
too seriously about it because it's not personal. Like That's
what I've had to learn, is it's not personal, even
though it feels really personal, it's not personal. Yeah, no,
it feels really personal, but it's not at all. But yeah,
I don't give up on anything. I will like, I
will drag it in like no matter if it's like
a career or anything. Like I want a llama. I'm
(57:55):
getting a lama. Do you really want a lama? Yes?
I do. And this is this is this should be
a lesson to all girls. I didn't give up asking
my husband for it. He finally said, yes, when we
have a yard that is big enough, he will give
me a llama. What are you gonna do with the llama?
I don't know, nit sweaters and I have absolutely no idea.
But my point is that I didn't give up asking
(58:17):
and I eventually got it. Yes, So if you have
to be then like what are like? They's like driving
it in, driving it in every day, like with your
employer because you deserve a raise. Just keep going at it.
He will get it. Yests, You're amazing, jess You're so amazing.
Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me and
(58:39):
sharing your story, your heart. This is my first like
skyed interview, is it? I'm the first? Yes, girl, I'm
shaking too much right now. You are so amazing, jess seriously,
thank you so much. How amazing is Jessica? She's so positive,
(59:02):
such an inspiration through everything she's been through, good Bade.
She just takes it all in stride and she totally
grows from it. She totally makes it beautiful. Her life
is beautiful. I am so impressed by her. I cannot
wait to meet her. Baby girl. Y'all, we are almost
done with the Influencers series. I have just one or
two more left. You won't even believe how great they're
(59:23):
going to be, though, so get excited. We're at the end.
How much fun has this been. I've loved getting to
tap into all the minds of these incredible influencers and
just see how they go about their day and their
life and their business. So we got a couple more
left for you. We'll see you next week. Bye,
Carol. She's a queen of talking. He's got the scoop.
No one can do Carol Carol. No one can do
(00:31):
Carol Carolin. This interview is so awesome. I have Jessica
Payne with me. I called her Jeff Southern because that's
her Instagram name and I always just know hers Jess Southern,
but her real name is jess Payne because she married
the love of her life and she's freaking awesome. She's
a makeup artist, not just any makeup artist, celebrity makeup artist.
(00:52):
She started when she was just out of high school,
moved straight to New Yorker and hear all about that story.
She marked straight up to Forward Agencies, Model Agencies, and
like brought her portfolio. She says should go get her.
Her first kid she landed was with Pamela Anderson's makeup artists.
It's incredible and she's also just one of the kindest people.
She shares her whole journey. She's been on Jesse James
Decker's TV show on e all the seasons that she's
(01:14):
had it on. She's just an incredible person. She's so interesting, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous,
and she's pregnant with her little girl. Oh, y'all get excited.
Here's jess Paine a K. Jess Southern. Oh my goodness, Jess, Hi,
I'm so happy to see you. Jessica Payne, Yes, yes, okay,
(01:38):
So I always called you jes Southern because that is
your Instagram Instagram handle, but it's Jessica Payne. MS. Miss
is Jessica Payne. This is Jessica Payne. I know. It's
so funny because sometimes people are like, wait, I thought
Southern was your last name, and I'm like, no, I
don't even know I have a Southern tattoo. And that's
the whole reason I did it. Other than that I
have no I mean, I'm born from the South, but yeah,
(01:59):
that's it, so not my last name. I do love that.
How so, just you are born from the South and
southern it says southern is what your tattoo says. Yeah,
it's um. It used to be. I felt very like
Angelina esque, you know what, a girl like. I was like,
I'm gonna get a badass tattoo and it just says
southern and like an old like kind of whiskey riding
(02:21):
and I don't even drink whiskey, so it doesn't even
make sense, but I just love the font and yeah,
it just says southern, so that's kind of why I
did it. I was like, well, I don't know what
my Instagram names should be. Well, I haven't tattoo that
says southern, so I'll just go with that. I love it,
and I fel like I'm wondering how bad it's gonna
stretch when I'm older, but I know that's how I
feel too, Like I'm I got tattoos in my arms.
(02:43):
I'm like, when I have like saggy old lady skin,
is it gonna be like three little birds on fence posts,
I'm gonna have so many wrinkles in between, and that's
a guy that's a face in there. Yes, it will.
Actually that's what mine will say, like s N or something,
because I know an old man that had his name
was Phil, and I was like, why do you have
PL on your arm? And he goes, no, honey, and
he's stretched out and it's actually Phil, but because he's
(03:05):
so old, it like just wrinkled up to p L.
So I'm like, I'm gonna have s N when I'm older. Hey,
you know, living in the moment, enjoying the day. I'm like,
I'll worry about that when i'm older. Exactly exactly, I'll
get a tattoo removal of that point. Okay, so we're
reaching the end of my influencer series, So happy you
(03:25):
could join me via skypird Zoom whatever this is. I
have never done this before. I am so technology like idiotic.
So this is amazing that it's working. I know, I'm impressed.
I'm like, I've never even heard of zoom? What is that?
I heard it from Julie Solomon. She was like, because
I'm gonna sing with her and she was like, have
you do you have Zoom? And I was like, no,
but if she's using it's probably what we should do.
(03:47):
It's it's probably yeah, exactly, she's so smart with all
that stuff. I'm putting everything, you know, everything, but you're
so smart. Yes, Like, if Julie says it, then that's
what we need to do. Yes, I agree with that.
So I kind of just want to talk to you
about your journey. Tell me about like how you got
into makeup, how you what your thoughts on influencing are,
(04:09):
what this whole wild West world is of social media?
Like being a job now, you know, like because so
many people want to get into this world because it's
it is such just a new world with so much potential.
Like how how did you get into makeup and then
entertainment and how did it evolve into the social media
(04:30):
empire that you have? So I got into makeup, so
my my dad. Um, it was so funny because like
I think, like back then it was so weird, but
it's it's kind of common now. So my mom worked
at a chemical plant and my dad was a hairstylist,
so it was such like a reversal of like, you know,
(04:51):
what the normal gender jobs were back then, which is
so weird. Um, So my dad was a hairstylist and
he is the creative one, and my mom was the
like buy the book, organized one. So I took after
my dad and my sister, my half sister, um in
that aspect. And I you know, I always loved, like,
(05:15):
you know, watching the hairstyles and the cutting, and even
though I knew I didn't want to do that, Like
I knew that I personally didn't want to cut or color,
um because I'm too a d D. I would mess
up somebody's color just by like talking to them. So
I know better than that. But I knew that I
wanted to do like something artistic, and I started drawing,
So I instead of drawing, I would paint like faces.
(05:37):
So when I was in elementary and um, middle school
and high school, I would always like just paint faces, um,
and then I would you know, add makeup to them
and eyelashes and blush and all of this other stuff.
But I would love doing it with like flower pedals
because my memo, UM was like, honey, we lived in
the Great Depression. We just like ground up some flowers
(05:59):
and put water in it, and that's what we did.
That's what we used for makeup. So that was like
my first actual makeup was you know, grounding up flowers
in the garden with my mammal and I could put
it on the paper and then she would let me
put it on my cheeks. But my mom did not
know about it. Um. My mom was very and my
mom was very anti makeup. UM. And then I started
(06:23):
doing it like on my friends and on you know,
like I didn't I didn't get to do it all myself.
My mom was very strict about that, so I could
do it on her. I could do it all my friends,
and I started doing it for girls for prom and
then um, I was like, this is what I want
to do. And I moved to New York and I
(06:44):
went to New York. I was eighteen when I moved
to New York, Like I literally graduated said out. Yeah,
I went straight to New York because I was like,
where'd you go up? Where'd you go in Kingsport, Tennessee. Okay,
So I was like, if I don't leave now, I'm
going to be here. It was like kind of like
it's it's a great town, but it's one of those
towns that if you don't, like I feel like immediately leave,
(07:06):
then like you just might stay. So I was like, Okay,
I graduated, and you knew you had dreams you had
to pursue, so you're like, I gotta get out. Yeah. Yes,
And I knew that, like I wanted to do makeup
in magazines, Like that's what I wanted to do. I
didn't know what it was called, but I knew that
was it. And I went to the Forward Modeling Agency,
(07:27):
which is hilarious because they were models everywhere in New York.
You just walked into it. Yeah. So I looked up
for their open calls because I didn't know how to
start as a makeup artist. So I'm like so short. Obviously,
I'm like five to and um a tad thicker than
the most models to New York especially. So I'm like
(07:49):
in this agency and I have this little these little
photographs of a book and they were from prom pictures
and makeup that I've done on my mom, like not
a makeup artist book. And I walked in and they
got to my name because it was an open car,
and he was like, sweetie, these pictures aren't you. So
(08:12):
I'm confused. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
And I was like, yeah, no, I want to do makeup.
And he was like, oh okay. He was like because
and I'm like, I know I'm too short and I'm
too chubby, So it's okay chubby for I am for
those like tall, thin models, Yes I am. So I
don't know, I want to do makeup. And he was like,
(08:34):
you know what, I admire your ambition. What I'm gonna
do is set you up with this photographer Andrew Bruckner,
and he works with a lot of makeup artists and
he'll have you learned, and he was like, because now
it's there. He was like, I can see, like for
you not to have any training, it's there. We just
need to tweak some things. So he introduced me to Andrew,
(08:56):
and then Andrew introduced me to um Alexis Vogel, which
was Pam Anderson's makeup at the time, and she had
all like the Vogel cosmetics. Oh gosh, was perfect Pam
Anderson's makeup artists. Immediately, I was like I was dying
because you know, I'm in the South and I loved
any girl with big blonde hair, you know. And I
(09:17):
was just like, oh my god, you did the liplider
on Pam Anderson, like you have your you have your
own makeup one. I watched it late at night, like
when I'm asleep, like yeah. So I was so excited.
And um, I learned pretty much everything from her, which
is weird because people are like, what did she tell you?
(09:40):
She didn't tell me anything for you like her apprentice. Yeah,
so I assist. So she had a bunch of assistance,
but I would assist her like on shoots. Okay, um,
and I got to assist on the sheet with Pam
Anderson and I was just like dying, like the whole
day I was in it was she so nice he was.
She was like the nicest, nicest, nice as human, like
(10:01):
so sweet. And I get so defensive when somebody says
anything bad about her, like don't you talk about him
that way? Like at my pain? Would you talk about Pam?
She is a nice woman, like I love her um
And yeah, so she didn't. She wasn't like this is
what you need to do. If I asked, oh, how
did you do that, she'd be like, well, how do
(10:22):
you think that I did it? Like I want to
figure about want have you figured out? So it was
a weird way of teaching, but I liked it because
her biggest thing. And it's stuck with me to where
I went on to train UM artists at a company
called Washington, but it's stuck with me. Then she was like,
I never want to take away somebody's natural instinct because
(10:43):
your natural instinct is usually the best way that you're
going to portray that type of work. So how would
you naturally do that? Okay, And it might have been
different than her way, but it was really cool, Like
it was really cool, like you could be the best
artist you could be that I could take inspiration from her,
but like be yourself exactly. And it was such a
(11:08):
cool way. And most people when I tell them that,
they're like, that's so weird. You would think that she
would tell you this stuff, and I'm like, yeah, but
she also really made me think. So it made me
go home and like mixed colors and work to see
how I blended better or how I controured better. It
(11:28):
just it made you think, which I think is awesome.
And it genuinely taught me to be my own artists
as opposed to just call he did. That's incredible. So
you got right into I got very well because because
luck to me is true. But you also majorly put
(11:50):
yourself out there by moving to New York City and
jumping into like forward modeling agency and like just showing
up with your poor fault folio from high school. You know,
I mean that to me is what it takes. You
have to be brave and take that jump. You know. Yes, No,
I a hundred percent agree with that. Everybody thought I
was completely crazy, and my mom didn't want me to
(12:11):
move obviously. She wanted me to go to college. And
do you know the right, the right thing, that the
good thing that you should do because education is very important.
But I was like, no, that's not what I want
to do, like I want to I want to do this,
And she gave me one month to make so she
paid for one month of rent, food, subway, everything. She
was like the next month. If you don't have it,
(12:33):
you come back home. You had you had a quick
timeline I had. I had. I had thirty days of
a timeline in New York City at eighteen, only thirty days.
Girls got to go. Yeah. So my second day there,
I went and got a job at a company called
wet Seal. I love what Seals. It was so good
(12:54):
right ever, just a little bit slutty, perfectly just look
perfectly slow. I heard too much, but it was amazing.
So I got a job there and then I realized
after my paycheck that I wasn't going to make my
New York rent. And I was talking to one of
the girls about it. I'm like, I just don't want
to go home, like I can really do this. She
was like, let me introduce you to this guy, Seth,
(13:16):
who works at this nightclub called Swede. And I was like,
oh my god, the suede that like all this slebs
go to like like Joey Fatone Tuesdays. Oh my god.
So I was like, yes, so I worked coach check
um at Swede and believe it or not, CoA check
in New York pays very well. Really, Oh my gosh,
(13:38):
I don't think yeah, girl, yes it pays. It pays
so good because they're paying you to do the job
and then you're getting like a dollar per coade that
you check and it's New York so it's cold, like
dropping the coaches that night. Wow. So yeah, I mean
like I made my rent in like four days. So
tip standing on moving to New York. Become a coach.
(14:00):
Didn't become a coach check girl. You don't really have
to do. Anything you have to do is like give
them their tag and then is it. And people are like,
oh really co check. I'm like until you get the money, like,
don't don't knock it, because I did what I had
to do, and I did that and I worked with
the most I met some of the most amazing people. Say,
(14:20):
you probably met awesome people because people coming in and
out of a bar like that or a nightclub are
probably pretty fantastic. Yeah, No, they were awesome and I
still you know, um, one of the owners was Aton Sugarman,
and I still keep in contact with him, Like he's
got a great restaurant now. Like that whole family was
just so close knit and any time I had a
(14:41):
problem or anything, I would go to them. They were
like big brothers. So it was it was just great
and that's yeah. And then after that I just started
I'm sorry, Oh, it's like, um, the dogs are crazy.
There's like a Melman. They're like, get real, life is happening.
It's all good, it's happening, and like yeah pharaohs like
I need a tention. I need attention. Um. But yeah,
(15:05):
so after that I just started to makeup. And then
I got with Fuel TV and then they're like, hey,
you want to move out to l A and do
p j um fuel TV. So it was like action
sports because I loved action sports. And then that's when
I moved to l A. Okay, so then you get
in l A and then do you just get into
the whole world and make up out there? Was that
an easy transition for you? That was? It's weird because
(15:27):
I worked in action sports and that was easy and
steady work. Um and then a lot of other stuff
happened in l A that kind of unfortunately put my
makeup on hold because, Um, I was with somebody that
genuinely was scared of me being successful. So I've seen
(15:48):
your YouTube videos. We don't have to go into this,
but like, I think it is so incredible how honest
you've been about all of your journey with that. Yeah,
because so many women I feel like, and all the
women listening yesterday, you were such an inspiration for your
because you were in a very bad relationship and came
(16:08):
through that on the other side, and you've been honest.
But I thought struggle and so I just think that's
so great that you put that off there because so
many goals. How she decided to be honest about that? Um,
I'm gonna get Harlowe. Harl wants to talk Harlo. She's
(16:33):
the oldest one and she gets a little bit grumpy.
Um My nieces called her the grumpy one. They won't
They're like, she's the grumpy one. It's okay, she's old Harlow. Um,
but wait, what was the question? How did you decide
to be honest about that relationship? Um, you had to
go into whatever. No, I mean, I think for me,
(16:58):
I wanted to because what's so weird is that people
kind of knew about it because if they emailed me,
that was my last name, so then they would kind
of know about it. And then unfortunately, when we went
through a divorce, TMZ picked it up and any time
that there was like a bad thing that happened, they
(17:20):
picked it up, and it wasn't it wasn't the right story,
you know what I mean. I'm like, um, I wasn't
shopping with my ex husband, Like he literally came to
my store and like you know, got very aggressive. But
I just thought, like, you know what, if I can
help one person at all, then it's worth it to share.
And then more importantly to that, like a lot of
(17:43):
women and even like friends or anybody, I just don't
think like they understood like and I also wanted to.
I wanted to reach out to the people that were
in the relationship, but I also wanted to reach out
to the people that weren't in the relationships, so that
way they kind of maybe had little bit of a
sense of compassion about how to handle that. Because if
(18:04):
you have a friend who is in a situation and
relationship because it's so hard because I'm like, what they
don't understand is that, like, you do love that person
and you want to see the good in them and
you want to fix them. So like maybe kind of
don't come down so hard on that person because they're
in a very delicate state and they need support, and yes,
(18:25):
they need not get hard on. Yeah, but it's like
they just I just wanted to kind of like look
at both sides and have both sides understand the relationship
a little bit more. So, like now these people know
a little bit more about what it's like to be
in an abusive relationship and how you know, manipulative it
(18:46):
really is, and how you believe whatever this person is
telling you unfortunately, And then I wanted the girls that
were in it to understand that, like listen, like it
can only get worse. It will never ever ever get better.
It will only get worse. And no matter how embarrassing
it might be for you to leave that situation, at
(19:06):
least you'll leave it alive. At the end of the day.
You have a better chance of survival if you just
leave that situation. So that was why, that was why
I really really wanted to do it and put it
out there. I just think that as incredible, Jess, And honestly,
you are such a beautiful woman to share that because
(19:27):
so and I think especially when you're a young girl
in a city like l A and you meet someone
who's exciting and like, it's so easy to potentially fall
into a relationship, especially when you don't maybe know exactly
who you are all the way. Yeah, I know, and
I was. I mean I was so young, and but
I also I never knew that he had problems, Like
I didn't. Everybody's like, how did you not know what?
(19:47):
I'm Like? I was, I was nineteen. I had just
turned nineteen when I met him, and I come from
a small town that my family didn't even drink, you
know what. I feel Like when he was acting crazy,
I just thought he was hyper and entertaining. I never
thought that there was Like I was so naive and
I'm like, if I would have met him at this age,
(20:07):
I would have been like, boy, what is wrong with you?
Like I am not going down this road. I know
exactly what this road is and I'm not doing it.
But it's like, you know what, like you live and
learn and m because of that, I not that I'm
not saying I wouldn't I wouldn't have appreciated my husband
because of that, but I generally think like things like
that make you who you are. And I know that
(20:32):
I am so appreciative of Logan, probably twenty times more
than maybe I might have been if I wouldn't have
went through something like that. You know, like I might
take little things for granted that he does and says,
but like I don't take anything for granted. I'm like,
you're amazing, and he's like they have. All I said
(20:53):
was you look pretty. I'm like, you know, it's amazing,
but he you now are and that's what's so great now.
Logan loves every bit of you, appreciates you, Like how
amazing that you do have your fairy tale because it
can't happen Like it didn't happen, I know, And that's
that's also what I wanted to portray it. I'm like,
I was older when I met Logan, and that's okay,
(21:16):
Like that is might even better because you have your
head on more straight. I have my head on straight.
I know who I am, I know what I want
to do, and like we're both in the same place.
And yeah, it's just it's awesome having a baby, girl, baby,
I'm so happy for you. Just like that would make
(21:37):
me cry my eyes having to cry, like you're like, Oprah,
I'll cry now at that point. It's just so beautiful
because honestly, like you see someone who goes through so much,
and we all have our own struggles, you know, but
in your case scenario, like you went through Helen high
Water for love and it was the wrong situation and
you still believe in love, like you never even gave
(21:58):
up even after all the crap that you went through,
and then you meet Logan and you had to go
through another struggle to get pregnant. And what do you
want to say to women out there who are struggling
to get pregnant, because I am just now realizing how
incredibly delicate pregnancy is and how hard it is because
I've been like trying to avoid getting pregnant my whole life,
and you know, he's still entering the phase where like
my husband Michael and are thinking about kids and it
(22:19):
is such a delicate thing and it's such a blessing
and there's so many things that happened with pregnancy. It's
no it is it's so crazy because, like you said,
like you avoid you basically spend your twenties being like
stay away from mebe what are you doing? We need
to run to see the s real fast. What happened?
This happened. And then it's like and I thought, which
(22:42):
is and I feel like naive? Because my husband says,
he's like, Babe, sometimes you're you're still a little naive.
But I love that about you and I don't want
you to lose that about you. But I thought I
was like, well, you know what, like you said, like
I went through hell and back, like I have the
perfect husband now and like we have like our version
of a perfect life together having a baby. I'll be
(23:03):
knocked up in three months, Like this is gonna be
so easy. And then it didn't happen. I'm like, okay,
so maybe we need to try harder. Girl. We were
trying pretty hard and it just never happened. I was like, okay, UM,
so yeah, we eventually, after tracking and tracking, we went
to the doctor foun out way to um, well, I
had endometriosis. So we got that all cleared out there,
(23:24):
like you'll be pregnant in three months, um, within two
to three months because you're like, your insides are like
a sixteen year old. You're like brands making me laser
it out? Is that the laser treatment, it's it's um.
So I had four procedures done, so I had laparoscopic surgery, heteroscopy,
a d n C, and um my philope my left
(23:47):
phallopian tubes. So I had a lot of pain. But
my left phallopian tubes both my Philippian tubes were closed,
so I wasn't even even though I was ovulating, no
egg was dropping. So it was wrapptor on my bladder. UM.
So they had to un do that. So they were
like after that, like we flushed the water out, both
sides came out and meeting your eggs are gonna drop,
you'll be pregnant in two months, And I'm like great, awesome.
(24:10):
So then two months came around and we didn't get pregnant.
In our neighbor was like, we're having twins, and it
was like the day that I took the test and
found out that I wasn't pregnant again, and I was
so happy for them, but I was just like why.
So luckily he my my husband and him started talking
and Logan was like, maybe, why don't I just go
(24:31):
get checked before they keep like poking you and doing
all this stuff. You, why don't I go get checked?
And he went to go get checked and we found
out that to get like he had UM, he had
an issue with him UM, a morphology problem I had.
After more tests, I had a very low ovariant reserve UM,
(24:52):
even though it was high two years ago, which is
so crazy that it could be like hi and then
I'm low. I guess that's what they say in your thirties.
It started, It's like everyone puts some My must have
went like a straight down here in mind wasn't even
like a roller coaster. Mind was like thirty boom drop. Yeah,
it was just like straight dropped down. UM. But yeah,
(25:14):
so they're like, you really only have one option and
that's IBF, and we can put you on medicine and
maybe do a surgery on him and a surgery on
you and then you might have a higher chance. And
we were like, no, we're not going to do that
to ourselves. Like if you say IBF L two ib F,
like whatever we can. We got this UM. But yeah,
I mean it's so hard and girls that are like
(25:36):
trying to get pregnant, like like just it sounds so cheesy,
but it's literally like don't give up hope. But more
importantly like beer on advocate because I think, like I
knew from before I had my surgery in June. I
had to fight for my indo surgery because I was like, no,
there's something not right, like and doctors and friends are like, no,
(25:57):
all you have to do is like going a trip,
have a margarita, You'll get pregnant. I'm like, carl, if
that is not the case, have sex, thank you. Yeah.
I like great sex without a margarita, Like we don't
need a like a vacation and a margarite at act
and that's not how it happens. And I just I
(26:18):
felt like I had to push my doctor to be like, no,
I know something's wrong. I want to be scheduled for
the surgery. Um. And then I had to schedule two
months later and I was like, I'm not pregnant. I
know that there's something wrong, Like we have to do something.
And I came in and I had my husband's results,
my results, and she was like okay, well you're prepared
and this is what you gotta do. Um. But you
(26:39):
just have to be your own advocate. And to me,
if you haven't gotten pregnant in like six d eight months,
go to the doctor and make them test you, like,
make them test your husband. Um. Doctors will say that
they don't want to do any thing with fertility until
a year. We didn't wait that long, and I'm so
happy we didn't because if we would have waited the
full year after my indo surgery, we still wouldn't be pregnant.
(27:03):
Now we would just be starting ibs, like, oh my god.
So that's why I'm like, no, you have to be
your own advocate for yourself. I goes for all things.
You have to be your own advocate for yourself in
all areas of life. Absolutely let someone else take the
reins of their own life. How does anyone else know
how to direct your life? You know? Yeah, because you
know yourself best. At the end of the day, you
(27:25):
know you and whatever you want, Like I mean, if
I had to fight for everything that I wanted, you
know what I mean, And I think most people do.
So it's like if you want something, like if you
want it bad enough, like you fight for it. And
me and him wanted a baby more than anything in
this whole world, and we were like, Okay, perfect IVF
(27:47):
let's do it. This is what we have to do.
Like let's go so so happy for you, j and
I'm so glad of you. Like you you have fought
for you have fought for your happiness in every area
of your life, and you have it. And that's why
I think it is so important for women. I don't
I don't only mean to talk to women, because this
(28:08):
goes to men too, but I just know a lot
of women are not so used to being as bold
as men were in the past. But like this season
that we're in of life, that's I feel like where
we're going as a society and culture, women are really
stepping up and like figuring out exactly what they want.
They're not scared to speak up. And I think that
you are a prime example of someone who is a
spot for themselves and their happiness in all areas. And
(28:30):
that's what that's such a great role model, Like you're
such a great role model. Thank you. No, I just
I mean, like like my mom, you know what I mean,
Like my mom was that way, like my my memmos
that way. So they just genuinely fight for everything and
I'm like, honestly, like, we're only here once, you know
what I mean, Like, and you know what I've started
(28:51):
realizing for it. Once we're gonna die. I mean, in
a hundred of years. No one's really even remember us
at all. Anyway, you might as well just live the
life you want and go all in, which kind of
makes me want to bring bring to the influencer part
of this, how so many people are so scared to
put themselves out there special and so especially on social
media and things like that. And social media is crazy.
(29:13):
It can be really disheartening. It can really like, it
can make you feel like you're not as good as
someone else, comparing hold on, Michael, schedule an appointment at
our house right now? They Oh, we're gonna do about that, Okay,
hold on, uh, Michael, didn't check our joint calendar. We
have hold on a second, I remember us. You have
a joint calendar. That's impressive. Sorry, j'all mind is being
(29:38):
very quiet. Sorry about that. Yeah, this is called get
real and U Sometimes your husband and you aren't on
the same page with your calendar. Is all good? I
love it. Me Logan would be impressed that you had
a calendar, for one, he would be more impressed that
you wrote something down because I'm like, no, it's in
(29:58):
my mind, babe. And he's like, it is not in
your mind. You live your life like Steven Tyler, Jimmie,
it's not all of your mind, babe. Down I know.
If it's not written down, it's not happening. That's what
he says. I'm like, no, I remember, like me for
the baby, and I'm like, babe, it's today, it's at
like twelve thirty and we have to go. And he's like,
(30:19):
where's it written down at? Why did you write it all?
Because it's in my head. It's fine. I know. If
it's not written down, it's not happening. But that with
with social media and stuff. How do you feel about
social media? Because you are a queen, your queen, you
have a huge following and girls like everything you say,
girls want because they trust you. And I think that's
another thing, like trust is social media. But tell me
(30:39):
what you think the pros and the cons are and
then how you navigate your social media world? Well, I
think and I tell I actually tell our friend Jessee
this all the time. I'm like, I'm like, girl, I'm like, listen,
the whole reason I have people following me is because
they're waiting for me to post one bad picture of you,
(31:00):
want to picture of you bending over on the toilet
or something like. They're waiting for me to post a
picture of you that they've never seen before. And I'm
a good friend. So first of all, she doesn't take
a bad photo, even like I mean, if she's thrown
up sick, she still doesn't take a bad photo. But
also I'm like, I'm also a better friend than that.
I would never post a bad picture of her, So
(31:21):
while are following me, wait on something that is never
gonna happen. No, But also because you are amazing in
your own right, you're career, you're an incredibly you're an
incredibly interesting person to follow. Also, um, you're very sweet,
because I feel like I'm very bland. You're not where
I'm like two out there. Um. But yeah, I mean
(31:44):
I don't know. So I love social media and the fact,
like what I love about it is I think that
you can't I gotta tell Hey, they funny. Michael, Okay,
I'm talking a little. I'm sorry, Sorry, thank you, sorry?
Or Michael, Um, you know what I love about social
media is that you can you know, if you have
(32:06):
a struggle, you can help people. And if you want
to share something brand new that you love, you can
also share that. And because I love sharing, like I
you know, anytime somebody's like, oh, where did you get that,
like I'm like, oh, I got it here, like because
me and all of my like all of all of
us like like you know, like we're very open. Like
(32:27):
if we're all like if everybody's hanging out, it's like,
oh my gosh, you have to try this new restaurant,
or you have to try this new hair product. Like
it's just very open. And that's what I love about
social media is because like I go through and I
find stuff from like other bloggers and you know, and
I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have to buy that. I'm
gonna try. It's great. And I just think it's so
(32:47):
awesome because you get to put out what you love
and people can try it and maybe they haven't heard
about it, and I think that's like amazing. And then
that's what I feel like social media is being used
in the positive way. And I think maybe when you're
a little bit older, I feel like social media maybe
when you're younger. It can really I don't know. Actually
I have no idea. I don't. I mean the career
(33:10):
platform to how do you use it? How do you
make it a career? Like what would you tell young
influencers wanting to get in this game? Like how do
you make this your career? That is a very good question. Um,
because it's so because what's so weird is that I
don't look at it as a career. I think, which
(33:35):
is which is really weird. But also I tell everybody,
I'm like, I am like the worst blogger. I will
like barely post something, um, and then I'll get distracted
by my four other jobs that I have, and then
I might it might get posted like four months later
and it doesn't even make sense. They're like, what is
(33:57):
she talking about? I'm like, oh, sorry, it was that
conversation like four months ago that I told you I
would I would have this is it I've been I've
been sitting on my computer um and edit the whole time.
So I'm so sorry. But yeah, I mean I think,
like for girls that want to make it a career,
I think, um, you know, learning from somebody like go
(34:18):
follow a blockers. There's so many bloggers out there that
do tutorials and how two's of like how to become
a blogger, this is what you need to do. And
also try to look at like what you love in
life and focus on that. So if you're into cooking
and you are a great home chef and you know
easy recipes, focus on that, like and I think that's
(34:41):
so key, Like whatever you're really good at, whatever drives
your passion, put that out there because that's what the
world wants to see, because authentic truth. They want to see.
Authentic truth because you know, if I mean, like I'm
trying to think like for instance, like I mean I
do like go into the gym. I do like going
(35:01):
to the gym. I am not a trainer. I am
not somebody that is going to be like this is
absolutely what I need to eat. This is how you
do this exercise. Um, I might share a couple of
things just because I'm like, hey, I've been doing this,
but I'm also like, oh, I got that from the
Chloe Kardashian pregnancy app that's the that's the exercise of
that Chloe was doing while she was pregnant. That's how
(35:22):
I know about it. But if that's your thing. You
need to do that and start posting videos, and I
mean hashtagging I think is huge. I think you get
huge recognition from like hashtagging and just posting like good
original content. Um. And if you're not all over the place,
you know what I mean, because I think like if
you go into so many different realms, people get so
(35:44):
confused and they're like, what are you promoting? Yeah, like
I don't understand, Like what are you talking about? UM?
So for me, I just make it things that I
love because I kind of like I love makeup, I
love talking hair stuff, I love like home stuff to
anything that just like I personally love is what I
(36:08):
like to portray. So I'm never really going to post
like that many recipe pictures, you know, because it's not me.
I'll do something like I'll do a little insto stories
if I'm cooking and like super easy mills, and it
might be like a few, like a handful, But other
than that, I'm just I'm not that's just like not
my thing. So I'll be like, oh my god, I
(36:28):
love this and then that's it. But you're not going
to see any more of it. Um. And that's an
insistent thing that on this influencer series that pretty much
everyone has said is stay true to what you love,
because it shows if you're not being honest, it's going
to ring through because people eventually are going to pick
up on that because you can just you can tell,
(36:49):
and they're gonna be like I thought I was following
this person because they liked oranges, and now they're over
here liking enchiladas and I don't understand it, Like you
can't make any sense. It's totally like I totally, I
totally agree with that, And I think over time sustainability,
like if you want to sustain you have to be
real and authentic. Yeah, and no matter like what what
(37:11):
that is, just yeah, just be just be real. And
I try to tell everybody like I'm never going to
talk about something that I genuinely do not love, Like
if I talk about it, I'm loving it, I'm using it.
That's just it, Like that's it, that's it. Yeah, because
I'm like I'm yeah, because I feel like you lose
people's trust, Like if you post something that like you know,
(37:34):
doesn't work, then you're like you are you? Then? What
are you? Even? Then? What is your plathfore? Because you're
not really promoting you and you're I'm like, you get
that for a paycheck and you just lost my trust.
So I hope it was worth it, you know what
I mean check because I won't do that, and I've
I'm pretty hardcore about it. Um one of my agents. Really,
(37:58):
I'm pretty sure because I'm like, I'm not using that.
That product is horrible, Jessica, and I'm like, I'm not
doing it. It's are like why would I post about it?
I'm like, and you know, and then he'll be like, Okay,
well I'm gonna go back and talk to him, and
I'm like, don't waste your time. I am not doing
it for a million dollars, Like and I really wouldn't
(38:19):
because I would other have people's trust then have that paycheck,
because I mean, I am lucky. I have other things
to you know, that helps pay my bills, like my
YouTube and my social media doesn't you know, It's it's
not my main thing. Like I'm a makeup artist and
we're going to open a business, so it's like I
(38:40):
have other things that like I'm not going to push
something that I don't think that you're gonna love. You
know what you mean and if and hopefully you love it. Yeah,
and I keep you living authentic life, which I think
is what every Ultimately, the goal, even beyond influencing in general,
is people should figure out what you were saying earlier,
what do you love? Who are you? And live that
(39:00):
life in all areas of your life. Yeah, and if
you don't know who you are yet, like trying everything,
what would you say, trial and error, You're gonna know
if you like it or don't like it, Yes, like
do it? Do it one time? And I said that
at a family dinner, um one time, And I don't
know how that went over because I was like, oh no,
(39:22):
and I was like my motto before I got married
was try everything one Yeah, They're like what does that mean? Exactly?
Just yeah, they were like, um so and Logan was
just like it's like, I'm just saying, like you gotta like,
don't what is this saying? I can't think of it.
Don't knock it till you try it, right, Yeah my
(39:45):
brain is so not there sometimes, um but yeah, so yeah,
just like just wait, try it, see if you love it.
And if you don't absolutely love it, then it's not
for you. Like it's just that you closer to what
you love and then you know, like just keep being
closer and follow your curiosity and your interests. Interest? What what?
(40:06):
What is? What's the advice you would tell your younger self? Um,
my younger self, oh god um um. Sadly, for me,
it would probably be the guys that I dated, because
work wise, I was really driven. I'm I'm very proud
(40:27):
of my younger self in that aspect because I was very,
very very driven. Um, and I knew what I wanted
and I went for it. But even at like twelve,
I had a very bad thing with guys. So I
would say, justin, don't date the bad boys with um,
don't don't date the bad boys. You're clear, like you know,
if he got detention five times in school, just maybe
(40:49):
like real back in like that change. And don't pluck
your eyebrows because they will never grow back. That is
so true. I giant patchy newses and my eyebrows because that.
Don't do it. And then look your eyebrows and then
know that your mom is right. She's right about everything. Yes,
(41:12):
so yeah, I don't let the eyebrows stay away from
the bad boys and attention. And your mother is always right,
No wontter how much I wanted to argue it. She
is always right, like it never fails. And I'm like, damn,
you were really right about everything. Like how they know
they know she's like psychic, Like it's weird. They know everything.
(41:34):
They know what you're doing when you're not looking, which
is so scary to me. But because they've just loved
you so long and they've just and now you being pregnant,
I'm sure you're feeling it even more, you know, just
like knowing how a mother feels. It's so weird. Yeah,
I'm like, oh my gosh, Like I'm gonna be like
my mom, Oh my gosh, this is bad, but like
(41:56):
so good because she's awesome. But um yeah, I mean
I'm just like, oh, I said this would never happen,
and it's gonna happen, like it's happening right now. Um.
What do you think the point of life is? That's
kind of a really big question. I mean my point
of life is. I feel like I'm gonna sound like
(42:18):
a like an ad that's like live your best life,
you know what I mean, with like a big banner.
But like I do I think like like my point
to life or whatever is just to like love, show kindness,
live your best life because at the end of the day,
nobody knows if you're going to have it tomorrow, So
(42:39):
like just don't have any regrets. And if you get hurt,
the best part about being like a human, I think
is that we can rebuild ourselves. So if you go
out there and you get you know, shot down, or
you get told no, or your heart gets broken, that
(43:02):
only is a very short period in your whole life,
and you a can make it so much better and
just just never give up and like live your best life,
like to the best of your ability. How do you
bounce back from a heartbreak? What would you be yours?
Since you've had some major traumatic, heartbreaking things happen, how
(43:23):
how do you bounce back from that? How do you rebuild? Um?
I know a lot of girls are going to be
like chocolate and wine. Well I didn't do wine, so
that was not mine. Um my whole thing. Actually, I
dove into work for a lot of it. I dove
into work, which is actually good and bad. It has
(43:46):
pros and cons. So the pros that obviously you're working
very very very very very hard. The con is that
you're not addressing the issue at hand, which is the heartbreak.
So for me, I got over everything by taking a
step back and I actually I made a list of
everything that made me feel bad in the real so
(44:11):
you take inventory. Yeah, And I was like, this made
me feel bad and when he did this, this is
how it made me feel. And for me seeing it
on paper, I was like, wait a second, like why
would I love somebody that would do this? Like here's
the Like it wasn't even a pro and a con thing.
It was just like but yeah, just like why am
(44:34):
I letting somebody like this make me sad all the time?
Like I don't. I don't need to be sad because
this is this is an unhealthy person. Um. And that
was how I was able to recrup because I was like, okay,
so this is it and it was how it made
me feel. So now I need to rebuild myself and
start to appreciate me, which at that point I didn't
(44:58):
love myself at all. I was very much like out
of love with myself. I thought I didn't deserve anything.
So it took a very, very, very um a decent
amount of time for me to realize like, hey, it's
okay to like love other people, and it's okay to um,
you know, to love yourself, and it's okay to be selfish.
(45:19):
So like for me, it was putting myself first and
doing things that we're good for me, and that's how
I got over the heartbreak, which is kind of weird,
but I mean, I think stelf love has to come first,
like and there's a you know, and you can like
I think there's a difference between self love and like
just living this incredible. I mean, honestly, it's being selfish
(45:41):
though too is really important for a while. Like it's
so great eventually like expand and share, but like you
have to figure out how to love yourself first or
there's no way you're going to be able to give
it to anyone else. No, you can't. Like I couldn't
even tell um all of my friends. It's so funny.
I when I was in that bad relationship, I couldn't
even tell my friends that I loved them because I
(46:03):
was so without love in your life at that point. Yeah,
I was just so like closed off and I was like, okay,
this this person hurt me so like I'm not gonna
love you because like what if you do something bad?
So I wouldn't tell my friends that I loved them,
and they could tell me. I mean, they could be
crying in my face and be like I just lost
somebody in my family, and I would be stone cold.
I was like a wall and I would be like,
(46:24):
I'm sorry to hear that, Like I was a robot.
So for me, it was like learning to open up
my emotions and be like, you know what, like we
got hurt, We're better than that. We can continuously get
hurt because eventually it will pay off. Because don't open
yourself up, You're never gonna find love anyway, so you know,
(46:45):
might as well just get hurt a few times. Then
they'll eventually pay off. And that's it. I love that
I love and learn along the way, like don't just
so many things, yes, live like the sex in the
city life, just you know, just have fun, have your girls,
some cosmos, you know, have your aiden and then have
your Mr Big and have your Petrovsky, like just to
(47:06):
have them all, have your girger, have everybody burger, Oh
burger burger, I say gerber, have your burger and then
have Mr Big at the very end. And that's fine,
but just like do do you and keep your girlfriends
so close? And I think that is so important to
like having a great girl squad is everything and not
(47:27):
to be like girl power for life, but seriously girl
power because if you know, I know, because I'm like,
I literally don't know what I would do with all
like my friends, like I love them all so much
and there it's so important to have that, and I
think like sometimes you can lose that in relationships. I'm like,
you can't. Like your girlfriends need to be like your
(47:51):
loves as well, like they agree they need to be
like those are those are your girls? Like you love them,
they're yours to be selfish with them. I totally agree.
Jus Okay, I want to talk to you forever, but
we're almost like like an hour. Can you believe that?
So I'm gonna wrap up with leave your light. After
everything that you've gone through, all of your experiences good bad,
(48:13):
like traveling, like your careers, loves, friends, everything, just leave
inspiration of how everything you've experienced in your life, Like
this whole interview is inspiring, You're inspiring in general, but
like what just inspiration do you want to share? What
inspiration doing maybe with like younger girls especially, I mean,
(48:33):
you've given so much great insight, but just like just
some things that you've gathered along the way that maybe
I don't know mm hmm. Give me an example. I'm
having a blond moment like if what have you? It's
almost like I guess how I've kind of asked you
like advice to yourself, but like leave your light, Like
what like what do you think what would you like
(48:56):
your legacy to be? Like from everything you've gone through,
what would you like to put on the world, Like
if people are going to think of just Southern at
the end of the day of everything, what would you
want it to be? And how would you want to
like through your journeys, say like two younger people or
people watching this who look up to you like this
is it, this is what it's about, this is what
(49:18):
you know? Just sort of like yeah, I mean so,
which it's really weird. But I kind of had this
conversation um with my my mom the other day and
I was like, you know what, Like I was like,
I was thinking about it, and I want my daughter
to look back like when I die and be like
(49:38):
my mom was strong, She never took herself seriously and
she loved with her whole heart like and that's like
I was like, that's what i want. I'm like gonna
tear up, and I was like, that's what I want,
you know, my daughter to think of me as which
I'm literally gonna cry like, but I think like, and
(49:59):
that's how That's how I want my husband to, you know,
to remember me when when I passed. And I think
that goes for everybody. I just want people, you know,
to be like, she was strong, she loved with her
whole heart, she didn't take herself too seriously, like she
had fun, you know, And that's that's kind of it.
I know, if I talked about it all, I start crying.
(50:19):
It's so sad. I love that. Jeff. Yeah, so very cheesy.
And I'm hormonal, so I'll cry if you tell me
like Snoopy passed away or something embarrassing. You could burn
a hot dog and I'd be like, but it was
just trying to survive. Why did you burn it? You know,
I'm the cutest and you are all of those things,
(50:40):
and you are such an example, and you are someone
who I think is a constant bright light. You always
a radiating love has to be kindness. You have such
a you have such a light energy about you, Like
being around you is so easy to be around you
because you're just so welcoming to all. Oh thank you, well, special,
you are special, and thank you for using your platform
(51:04):
to make other people feel special, because you really do
a great job of that. No, well, thank you for
doing this, because all of your podcasts are like awesome
and I loved it. They're just like you know, they're
like they're really like women empowering and I love that.
So that's why I'm like, I think it's just awesome.
I think when I think, I really started this podcast
because I was just wanting to get inside of people's
brains who I looked up to, who have figured out
(51:26):
how to navigate life in a way that I really respect.
Because n getting this thing, especially when you aren't like
following a traditional formula, is really interesting. Yeah, you would
want to know, like trust me, Like I I watched
everything and I'm like, oh, okay, learn something, learn something,
like so good just to keep learning. And there's so
many ways to skin a cat, as they say, you know,
(51:48):
like nobody has to do it the same way. But
I just like to like for me personally, I like
to talk to people like you and other influencers and
other people doing great stuff and just figure out like, Okay,
how did you do that? Like like how did you
not let fear get the best of you? How did
you say brave? How did you find your calling? Like
you know, and that's what we're thing. How would you
tell someone to find their calling? Like you said, try everything.
Just be curious. Just just be curious, Like if you
(52:10):
if you have just like a small thought in the
back of your head that's like, you know, I think
I'd be really good at building furniture, but it's probably not,
Like maybe you know, I should be going to college
to be a professor. Just you know what, try it out,
because realistically, that that small little thing that you have
in the back of your head, that's that's your passion
(52:31):
that you're scared to pursue because you're scared of failing
at it. So try it and see if it works.
And if it, I mean, maybe you're really talented or
maybe you're really horrible at it, and you should just
make furniture pieces for your own house and that's it
and not have not sell them to anybody. But do
it so that way, like it's your passionate whether or
not I think. I mean, I think success depends on
(52:53):
how you view it, you know what I mean? Like,
I think success is being happy and and if you're
happy doing that, then do it. Like you might not
you know, that might not be your living, but you
can do it. You can be happy and that's all
that matters. Okay, one last question, because you touched on this,
and I think it's really interesting. What is failure to you?
Because you said you're scared of failing? So what happens
(53:14):
when you fail? So many people are so afraid that
when they failed, the world's gonna explode and everything's gonna end.
But what happens when you fail? Because someone like you
has probably run into some failure never But what is that?
Why are people so hard? Tell me what it really is?
I mean, failure to me is like okay, for instance,
if you and I and I'm very hard on myself,
(53:36):
so I'm my worst critic when it comes to work. Um,
I'm like, oh my gosh, like I feeled it that
that that is that isn't blended the way it should be.
That eyelier is broken. I'm horrible. Uh, I need to quit.
I should never do make up again. I should be
(53:56):
doing it on my dog. This is why don't you
know the rabbit hole so fast? I didn't know. I'm like,
I'm the worst. No one likes this. It sucks. Who
am I fast? I know? Logan's like, baby, you go
from like ninety too, like zero your past zero, You're
like in the ground. Um. But that's also because I'm
(54:16):
more like artistic and dramatic, So that's that kind of
comes into play. But I mean I think failure like
it should at least for me, it makes me want
to be better the next time. So I get very
down on myself for a few minutes and I'm like, oh,
that was not good. That was so stupid, Like why
did I mess it up? But then I'm like, Okay,
think about it. Why did I mess it up? How
(54:38):
can I fix it? What do I need to do? Okay,
this is what I need to do. So then I
kind of like like the failure was the problem. I
figured out a way to solve the problem or to
try to make it better, and then I attempted it again,
and if it fails the second time and that's not working, out.
Then I keep trying it, but I keep trying each
time to make it better. So what either from the failure? Yes,
(55:01):
So like I think like you just can't look at
it and be like I'll never do that again. Tweak it.
There's always a way to tweak it, because I think
every single failure ends up being um, it ends up
being a great success in the end. I just think
you have to focus on swallow you exactly because you're
just gonna get in like a little bubble and you're
(55:26):
never going to try it again because it didn't work
out one time, Like you're gonna give up after one try.
Just figured out what went wrong and do it again,
like and maybe you know, like I have a lot
of makeup artists that will be like how did you
do this? Or you know, how did you get started?
Or how like what can I do? And I'm like, honestly, assist.
(55:47):
Keep going out to agencies and reaching out to people
and saying like can I assist you? And I promise
you every note because they're like I feel like a failure.
They're saying no to me, right you need when yes,
it's more yeah, and it's like you know what, like
and next year. If you if you've got a whole
(56:08):
year of nose, keep going. You will eventually at some
point get a yes. And if it means that much
to you, then you'll keep doing it. If it doesn't,
then you're like it doesn't, just let it go. But
if it means that much to you, you will get
a yes and you will learn off that yes. But
maybe they said no because you needed to grow your book.
(56:29):
So what do you do? You go, you get a model,
you work on your craft, and you add to your book,
and then you go back. So like that's the thing.
If you keep getting knows, keep trying to improve yourself
as you go, like yourself yeah, because that's that's all
you can do is just continuously trying to improve you know,
whatever you failed at, just improve it and work on
(56:49):
it and go again. You know, like super easy. I
mean it's not easy, but it's like give you a
moment and then get out of your head. Yeah you do.
We have Margarita drowning the sorrows, like drink it up
and then the next day just be like, Okay, we're
gonna have to go through this again, you know, Like
(57:11):
and if it was an interview, maybe I need to
show up fifteen minutes earlier. Maybe I need to, you know,
go get my suit on, just just go do it again.
You're fine, totally, completely fine. You will get a Yes.
I believe that. I don't know anybody in my life
that has consistently gotten to know. Yeah, you will get it, yes,
and eventually. And also and also, don't like take yourself
(57:35):
too seriously about it because it's not personal. Like That's
what I've had to learn, is it's not personal, even
though it feels really personal, it's not personal. Yeah, no,
it feels really personal, but it's not at all. But yeah,
I don't give up on anything. I will like, I
will drag it in like no matter if it's like
a career or anything. Like I want a llama. I'm
(57:55):
getting a lama. Do you really want a lama? Yes?
I do. And this is this is this should be
a lesson to all girls. I didn't give up asking
my husband for it. He finally said, yes, when we
have a yard that is big enough, he will give
me a llama. What are you gonna do with the llama?
I don't know, nit sweaters and I have absolutely no idea.
But my point is that I didn't give up asking
(58:17):
and I eventually got it. Yes, So if you have
to be then like what are like? They's like driving
it in, driving it in every day, like with your
employer because you deserve a raise. Just keep going at it.
He will get it. Yests, You're amazing, jess You're so amazing.
Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me and
(58:39):
sharing your story, your heart. This is my first like
skyed interview, is it? I'm the first? Yes, girl, I'm
shaking too much right now. You are so amazing, jess seriously,
thank you so much. How amazing is Jessica? She's so positive,
(59:02):
such an inspiration through everything she's been through, good Bade.
She just takes it all in stride and she totally
grows from it. She totally makes it beautiful. Her life
is beautiful. I am so impressed by her. I cannot
wait to meet her. Baby girl. Y'all, we are almost
done with the Influencers series. I have just one or
two more left. You won't even believe how great they're
(59:23):
going to be, though, so get excited. We're at the end.
How much fun has this been. I've loved getting to
tap into all the minds of these incredible influencers and
just see how they go about their day and their
life and their business. So we got a couple more
left for you. We'll see you next week. Bye,
Host
Caroline Hobby
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