No Crying In Baseball

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.

Episodes

July 8, 2025 63 mins

At this point we can’t tell the difference between crosstraining and the Police Blotter. We have travel bans, trans bans, international volleyball, collegiate swimming, and harmful decisions. We also have a WNBA player insulting Patti’s hometown, but Patti takes the high road and offers help with geography and, well, words. As we approach the All Star break we have Cal and Woody both doing Barry Bonds things. We’ve got Pet...

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Since last week we've been to Pride night, and Pottymouth has checked out the Smokies new ballpark, and crosstrained with Bananaball. Patti opted out on Bananaball because there are two kinds of people in the world. Although Cosmic Baseball could be a thing… The All Star Game is loaded with former boyfriends and just a few new ones, and the Derby could be all our guys. Congrats to Justin Verlander on what must be a very be...

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June 24, 2025 59 mins

When it is a thousand degrees outside, Elly gets sick on the field and then homers, and we just stay in the air conditioning and curse climate change. Geaux Tigers! Congrats to LSU on their College World Series win, fair and square, unlike the suspicious victory in the Jello Shot Challenge for charity (we’re looking at you, Paul and Livy). The Dodgers just have so much going on trying to overcome the bad press about stayin...

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June 17, 2025 58 mins

Feels like a Father’s Day episode what with weaponry gone awry, novelty shirts made from petroleum products, and Caddyshack references. PCA hits them high and low, and Woody hits them where they don’t usually go. Cutch passes Clemente, Manny sneaks up on 2000, and we’ve got more bfs on the IL than the bench. The Contreras brothers (Contrarians?) do something rare. Kiké speaks out even though the LAD do not, and we note how...

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June 10, 2025 53 mins

Did you notice that as soon as your favorite team has a series in Tampa or Sacramento, there is a “news” story that sounds like Yelp reviews of the non-major-league facilities? It would have been a 10 if not for the batter's box. Swirling and unpredictable. You get it. Pottymouth swears Junior has a sixth tool but she never comes right out and says what it is. It might be a camp! Or bobbleheads! Her pitching flock has been...

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June 3, 2025 60 mins

This episode fueled by cuxa in tiny teacups – perhaps a result of taking a clown visiting from Guatemala to an Orioles game and gifting him a “Relish” t shirt, or just another Sunday. Junior sets a record for under-22s. Woody sets a record for no more than 22s, and PCA (at 23) just sets the pace. Kids today! Kody with a K finds a home with MIN, and we sort out all the Victors. Oneil hits them hard and far, and Freddy hits ...

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May 27, 2025 64 mins

In which we declare “McCullered” a verb and Patti references songs from both 1862 and 1985. The merry, merry month of May gives us records set by both Pete Crow-Armstrong and Jasson Dominguez. COL and Pottymouth welcome the return of Ezequiel Tovar, and there’s just so much Soto to discuss. Liam Hendriks says the kind of death threats experienced by Lance McCullers are horrifyingly common and absolutely fed by sports betti...

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I’ll take unlikely pitchers to strike out Shohei Ohtani for 200 please. We let Sally Jenkins and Jake Mintz take the lead on the “permanent ends when you're dead” rant re Pete and the other formerly permanently ineligibles. Will Andy Pages be the player that gets Pottymouth to manage her fantasy team more closely? Maybe! Patti’s team is again short a 3rd baseman but the math is working out. PCA’s newest stats are rivaling ...

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May 13, 2025 56 mins

Yup, an actual text sent by Patti to the Pottymouth because the new Pope is a legit sports fan. And oh how Chicago is enjoying that! We’ve got some nods to Mothers Day – badass Veronica Alvarez is gifted maternity baseball pants, Jace and Josh’s mom gets to wear a split jersey to watch them face off on a major league field, and Pottymouth gets a hat. That Patti gets to wear. Jasson Dominguez overtakes a record previously h...

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May 6, 2025 64 mins

It’s the day Bradley met Adley, Pottymouth decides to reach out to Duran’s mom, we sort out the battery issues and we discuss the pros and cons of honoring Don Johnson via City Connect even though it’s working for Kyle. We report in on our terrific experience watching See Her, Be Her on the big screen and enjoying a star-studded panel discussing women playing baseball. We are amused that PCA trolled his dad about the Cubs ...

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April 29, 2025 48 mins

*Not* a reference to Tommy Pham, but he does appear in Police Blotter for possibly a record-setting time. Our fantasy team infields continue to make news with Pottymouth contemplating Rice from Wong and Patti finally covering 3B. Christian Walker heats up, Eugenio Suarez makes some noise, Wyatt Langford is back with a bang, and Pete CA can’t stop taking it to the Dodgers. Again we make with the City Connect opinions includ...

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April 22, 2025 43 mins

Jackie Robinson Day came and went with Kareem calling out the President’s attack on DEI (although we don’t think it is a ruse for segregation, we think it *is* segregation), Mookie saying some hard truths about the LAD at the White House, and the commissioner saying some weak things and making questionable visits. Pottymouth got the Puk out of there and told us of fast boys, Patti’s flock is making with the Ks and she tell...

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April 15, 2025 42 mins

So many catchers in this snack size episode.  We’ve got pinky injuries, rolled ankles, welcome back dingers with glasses, and only dingers against Toronto. The Orioles help build an outdoor classroom at Harlem Park Elementary with a donated playoff share, and players fill its library with their own favorite books.  Pottymouth is well aware that she should roster her NYY bf but you can’t take the Boston out of the fantasy t...

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April 8, 2025 59 mins

The reason torpedo bats are a thing is because they are not called bowling pin bats. Patti catches you up on all things torpedo. It seems like all the cool kids are getting contact extensions and we float a few more contenders. Pottymouth wants to complete her Walker set and Patti just wants a complete infield. Profar is a deep disappointment, and Ian Happ is still making us coffee 1000 games later. It’s that episode where...

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April 1, 2025 66 mins

We made it to 400 episodes and celebrated in style. Kat D. Williams joined us to talk about her new book “All The Way: The Life of Baseball Trailblazer Maybelle Blair.” Kat is a terrific storyteller and took us along for the ride of childhood Maybelle demanding a girls’ team in elementary school, adult Blair playing professional baseball *and* softball, planning and executing the transporting (by ground) of a fighter jet t...

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March 25, 2025 65 mins

It’s the week of Hopening Day! Patti’s infield is a mess and Pottymouth is looking at the centerfield version of second base but nonetheless we have our fantasy team starting lineups ready. This week’s rant is geared at the scrubbing of history in the name of the wrong definition of DEI. And maybe it took messing with Jackie Robinson *and* The Golden Girls but people are paying attention. Except that MLB is also doing some...

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March 18, 2025 62 mins

MLB is just printing money now, with deals for bad hats, alter-egos for minor league teams, and gold patches that will turn into collectibles and replica jerseys.  We really do buy all the things. It’s time to pick our pitching squads (flocks?) and weirdly we leave LAD alone. Pottymouth finds her ideal law firm, and inner 12 year old, in ARI and Patti says PHI is the place to be. The Dodgers and Cubs visit Japan for exhibi...

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March 11, 2025 64 mins

Baseball boyfriends are by definition guys we like, but sometimes it takes a while to get to that part.  Welcome to the show where we profile Yankees and Dodgers. LA brings us a defection story and a high profile international signing, and NY brings us a childhood Pesky pole situation and a putting one over on the parents with a dirty uniform. Spring training gives us Walkers and talkers, and Vegas tourism finds a way to p...

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March 4, 2025 65 mins

It’s always a holiday when we get to pick boyfriends. For CLE, Pottymouth has her first Noel and Patti picks a postseason star, then we find some Clemeni and some long game with the PHI. We throw some love to Jake Burger’s baby, and admire how Pottymouth sweeps an outfield. Cashman backpedals on Duck Dynasty and Manfred shares some lock out thoughts with a tinge of threat.  The WBC qualifiers feature a pod favorite, Yu Cha...

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February 25, 2025 65 mins

Thank you to brave governors and former NFL players for speaking truth to power. Spring Training is back and that means our guys are hitting bombs, speaking out of turn, gifting cars, and sneaking freshly baked bread into cubbies. We’ve got boyfriends on the Os and Pads including a once and forever, a guy that just wants to make us happy, and additions to our Jackson and Rosario collections. The NYY make some babysteps in ...

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