No Crying In Baseball

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.

Episodes

October 21, 2025 50 mins

The postseason peaked early for Patti with this holy crap of an all-boyfriend double play. Other than that, and  Jackson Chourio, NCiB is ticked about the LAD sweep, both because LAD and also because sweep. Maybe also because MLB will use this to push for a salary cap when collective bargaining begins. Is it fair that Shohei Ohtani is also Michael Jordan? We are not pleased that a Brewer’s fan provided a teaching moment in...

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Here we are in the week of maybe we want the Beer Cruise World Series (what else would you call a Brewers/Mariners match up?), but sure do like the idea of Canadians right now, and even though we like some guys a lot it's a no go for LAD in our hearts. 15 innings of ball and we spend our time on a fish race and Kerry Carpenter not cleaning up after himself. Okay, also Jorge Palanco and Leo Rivas. We’ve got small guys playi...

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October 7, 2025 55 mins

Patti and Pottymouth have entered the “there’s always next year” phase of mourning Wildcard losses and have moved on to pondering such issues as “The Blue Jays wouldn’t have to visit the White House.” In our hearts we are simultaneously rooting for a SEA/MIL WS matchup and knocking on all the wood. In our “made it to postseason” boyfriend world we have elder statesmen counseling the kids, Ernie and Jackson lighting things ...

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It's the Phew Day between the last day of the regular season, and the first of the Wildcard round in which both Patti and Pottymouth are heavily invested. It was a record year for 30-30 seasons including PCA and six former NCiB boyfriends. Andy and Ernie help with the clinching, and Pottymouth gets all numerology-y with Jackson Chourio. Ceddanne clinched with a triple, and Guards play Guardball and clinch with a HBP. Braya...

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September 23, 2025 46 mins

As we edge closer to the postseason, Patti references a 1979 Ian Hunter classic while Pottymouth gets all literary while Waiting to Exhale. The lands of our respective births are giving us all the feels. Pottymouth promises to not mention the Red Sox at all so as not to flap any butterfly wings so you’ll only hear the team name five or six times. The Guards are on a tear, chasing an historic comeback while fielding a team ...

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September 16, 2025 53 mins

Interpret it as you like, either the unusual more than a year since the last major league no-hitter, or the disappointing and angry-making corporate culture associated with the Detroit Tigers. We kick off the police blotter by sharing the outcome of the Athletic’s investigation resulting in eight men, including six from Ilitch Sports and Entertainment, which operates the team, the former assistant manager, and a former pla...

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September 9, 2025 52 mins

Patti and Pottymouth will never forget “the screamable baseball game,” which you may know alternatively as the 30th anniversary of Cal Ripken, Jr. breaking Lou Gehrig’s record for consecutive games, Yamamoto’s nearly no-no, or the craziest comeback in the history of the Orioles. We celebrated the importance of showing up every day no matter the challenges. We celebrated a friend to labor, a dad who started the biggest day ...

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September 2, 2025 64 mins

What happens in Vegas definitely gets shared on the pod.  Pottymouth reports back on the “moving dirt around” stage of the new ballpark in Las Vegas and ponders the slot machine per capita question. Kyle is nipping at Cal’s heels – is there an actual home run race happening here at the stretch? We make a verbal Manny/Kiké/Manny sandwich. Josh Naylor keeps stealing bases with brains over speed. We are not impressed with Mar...

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August 26, 2025 65 mins

Sure it’s the name of this episode’s beer of choice but it really does capture the moment. This week, from the nation’s occupied capitol, we bring you boyfriends getting out of slumps. Connor and Christian turn things around, PCA and Kyle remember the long ball. Zach is out for the season and we learn some new medical terms.  Adley is out for at least a while and we learn some contract extension terms for Samuel Basallo an...

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August 19, 2025 56 mins

Pottymouth’s inner 12 year old may giggle at episode 420 but her grown up teacher self lays out MLB’s drug policy and how it’s changed over time and between leagues, from “smoke your way to the 40 man” to “don’t show up high.” Player’s weekend brought us foods on bats, some philanthropy, and nostalgia for the good old days of nicknames on jerseys. We both have fantasy team pitching woes, but there’s also Junior making a na...

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August 12, 2025 61 mins

We celebrate the “gravity” and the “magnitude” of the moment as Jen Pawol makes history as the first woman to umpire a regular season MLB game.  We also put it into the disappointing context that not only is MLB 28 years behind the NBA, but, as Chelsea James notes, we almost had robo-umps before a woman had the gig. Our continuing excellent taste in baseball boyfriends is reinforced as the Heart and Hustle winners are anno...

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August 5, 2025 65 mins

What a weekend for baseball.  Patti witnesses small children in the stands absolutely take down a full grown booing adult for his poor sportsmanship, and then fireworks. Pottymouth gets a winning double header, dubious mascots, an imaginary friend, and then fireworks. Oh and also there was that trade deadline. The Os lose 100% of their Ramons and Cedrics, but their 21% of the Jacksons in the league turn a relay to throw ou...

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July 29, 2025 51 mins

In a surprising twist, this week’s police blotter is Little League-centric, from the policy to the personal. The entire Venezuelan Senior Little League team, made up of 13-16 year olds, was denied visas to participate in the Senior Little League World Series held in South Carolina this week. Yes, the United States broke the hearts of an entire team who not only proved themselves the best in Venezuela, then traveled to Bogo...

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July 22, 2025 64 mins

No kidding, the Swing Off as the ASG tiebreaker is in the collective bargaining agreement. CBAs also show up when we crosstrain with the WNBA – players are getting crap for backing off social justice activism in favor of “business.” And by business they mean negotiating their CBA. Here to tell you, fair pay is a social justice issue. We’ve got ASG takes – mic’d up players, unis, bling vs meaning in fashion coverage, and a ...

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July 15, 2025 58 mins

Again, we have publicly committed to predictions an hour before the (all NCiB Boyfriend) Home Run Derby begins, that you won’t hear until you already know who won. How’d we do? We also check in on our pre-season predictions on standings and individual awards and learn that while some are just as terrible as history has taught us to expect, we are surprisingly right on in some places. Those places are not the American Leagu...

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At this point we can’t tell the difference between crosstraining and the Police Blotter. We have travel bans, trans bans, international volleyball, collegiate swimming, and harmful decisions. We also have a WNBA player insulting Patti’s hometown, but Patti takes the high road and offers help with geography and, well, words. As we approach the All Star break we have Cal and Woody both doing Barry Bonds things. We’ve got Pet...

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Since last week we've been to Pride night, and Pottymouth has checked out the Smokies new ballpark, and crosstrained with Bananaball. Patti opted out on Bananaball because there are two kinds of people in the world. Although Cosmic Baseball could be a thing… The All Star Game is loaded with former boyfriends and just a few new ones, and the Derby could be all our guys. Congrats to Justin Verlander on what must be a very be...

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June 24, 2025 59 mins

When it is a thousand degrees outside, Elly gets sick on the field and then homers, and we just stay in the air conditioning and curse climate change. Geaux Tigers! Congrats to LSU on their College World Series win, fair and square, unlike the suspicious victory in the Jello Shot Challenge for charity (we’re looking at you, Paul and Livy). The Dodgers just have so much going on trying to overcome the bad press about stayin...

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June 17, 2025 58 mins

Feels like a Father’s Day episode what with weaponry gone awry, novelty shirts made from petroleum products, and Caddyshack references. PCA hits them high and low, and Woody hits them where they don’t usually go. Cutch passes Clemente, Manny sneaks up on 2000, and we’ve got more bfs on the IL than the bench. The Contreras brothers (Contrarians?) do something rare. Kiké speaks out even though the LAD do not, and we note how...

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June 10, 2025 53 mins

Did you notice that as soon as your favorite team has a series in Tampa or Sacramento, there is a “news” story that sounds like Yelp reviews of the non-major-league facilities? It would have been a 10 if not for the batter's box. Swirling and unpredictable. You get it. Pottymouth swears Junior has a sixth tool but she never comes right out and says what it is. It might be a camp! Or bobbleheads! Her pitching flock has been...

Mark as Played

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