No Crying In Baseball

Embrace the game! Stop your timid, even if it means running into the outfield wall. Twice. Josh Rojas has a minor league hit and a major league hit in the same day, in the form of an SAT question. Kazuma goes Tex Mex, adding a little Country with the quesadilla. Bello goes a little Devers. Matt completes the home run bingo card with Sacramento as the free space. Patti rants about basepaths. It’s Pride month and TEX celebrates...

We crosstrain with the Fascist-in-Chief tearing up the South Lawn of the White House in order to host a UFC event in honor of his own birthday and to celebrate America 250. Because nothing says patriotism, etc. Pottymouth finally gets Blaze on the roster, maybe a day late but it will be great and in talking about Caleb we wonder if anyone else has said GSwing out loud. Nick breaks a streak but also the NYY so Patti’s okay. Ca...

We’re pretty sure Batman doesn’t mean what Nathan Lukes thinks it means. The Password is up for PIT and the Username is in Maine. Nick surpasses Rickey’s streak. Other Nick debuts in front of home town crowd. James Frickin Wood scores a real inside the park GS (sorry, JJ). Everybody loves Salvy, and Chris is retiring for real this time. It doesn’t matter if your home run hits the top of the foul pole or the ...

Welcome to the episode where we embrace retirement age and a respect for poetry at the same time our inner 12 year olds attempt to discuss cockfighting with the seriousness it deserves. That’s right, in the same hour we reference NPR and the National Baseball Poetry Festival, and Edwin Diaz and his 150 cock photos on Facebook. Not that kind. We tell you about Thor dabbling with slander, Yasiel Puig’s perceived lack of r...

Tarik may have had loose bodies removed from his elbow but Patti’s pitching flock remains in shambles. Our boyfriends are getting beaned, sometimes by the aforementioned flock member. We don’t care for it, and yet what happened to warnings? Pottymouth catches us up on her overabundance of catchers. Shea has Dad Power. JJ hits an inside the park grand slam and laments the running. Patti relates. It turns out, at the one-...

We have streaks, and streaks that have been struck, and hello new guy, and some monster home runs fueled by quesadillas. Patti preps you for collective bargaining which should start Any Day Now. And she wants you to do some homework by reading this piece in the Athletic if you want to get all caught up. Pottymouth gets all Alice in Wonderland with the Phils firing their manager and is Mattingly 110 yet? We cross train with national...

Is it the rant on the Boston massacre or an overview of the Cyclones’ Weenie Weekend? Take your pick, we’ve got both. Buckle up, Pottymouth has takes. Adley is back and he brought his bat, James spoils a debut, and Ben MacDonald has a UFO moment. The Mexico Series brought a split for SD and ARI, and a big win for local kids with a huge free baseball clinic and Play Ball benefits. Patti highlights MLB’s surprisingl...

In which we consider the logistics of the CWS-branded pope hat giveaway. Are they inappropriate?  Are they too tall to see over?  What are the optics if pope hat-wearing fans brawl? Alas, it’s not for us to determine first hand, but we do get in an inadvertent “holy crap.” In the boyfriend report we find both bombs and f-bombs where Sal is concerned, We celebrate the turnaround of slow starts by Nick, Co...

It's the episode you didn’t know you needed.  Patti and the Pottymouth review all eight new City Connect uniforms at one time. A+ for Baltimore and San Diego, who are both two for two (if we round up). The Os design leans hard into what makes Camden Yards great and an understanding of the importance of neighborhood. The Pads celebrate their bi-national city by embracing multiple cultures as well as the history of the tea...

Drake Baldwin got mentioned in the same sentence as Henry Aaron, and Pottymouth invited Justin Crawford’s mom for vegan cheesesteaks. Carter overslept, Matt got salty, and Chase got the singalong started. We didn’t call it Police Blotter, but Jo robbed three home runs in one game. There’s a Boston Archdiocese smackdown over corned beef and Fenway Franks, while in New York the PWHL is selling out the Garden. We che...

Join us as we try not to overreact to the small sample size that is Opening Weekend. The kids are definitely alright – rookie BFs Sal, Justin, Chase, and JJ are doing us proud. Dom hits a grand slam that hits especially hard, and Freddie hugs it out. The police blotter features LAD making a bad decision in fan relations, mom and dad making some allegedly bad decisions in money management, the CWS deciding not to consult with ...

Welcome to the 10th season of No Crying in Baseball! We appreciate those of you who have been with us since the beginning, those we’ve collected along the way, and we welcome you who are just joining in. It’s also the week of our favorite national holiday, Opening Day.  That means it is time for our terrible predictions. You will see no bias for or against any particular teams as we give you our best guesses as to ...

We love the WBC so much and it’s not just for the espresso shot cellies or the hair that goes poof when a batting helmet comes off, but it could be. We are dismayed at the military overtones that Team USA embraces, and are pretty peeved about a specific Navy Seal brought in to the clubhouse to hype up the guys. On the other hand the young guys are fun to watch. We love the DR spirit – take a look at this Player’s ...

The World Baseball Classic is testing the limits of our attention spans and our channel surfing. We are loving the father-son stories, the espresso shots, the real estate agents, the moms and high school kids, and all the Kims, and are wondering where the politics went. In our last boyfriend week, we bring you our picks for the Blue Jays and the Brewers. We found two more kids who wanted their dads to play for TOR, one wanting to s...

It’s our second to last boyfriend week of the off-season so we’ve got some Yankees and some Phillies to talk about. For NYY, All signs pointed to Jorbeet in Orbeet for Pottymouth, and how could Patti resist a big man who can fly and cook? Pottymouth dives into a next gen situation for the Phils and Patti follows an unusual, if dope, path to the Show. Harrison Bader signs a food truck and Brooke lobbies for her dad&rsquo...

That’s right, spring training games have started and we’re getting alerts about players we don’t know. First though, we’ve got a legit scandal crossed with police blotter and wrapped in labor. Pottymouth is already a man down with her ARI boyfriend heading over to B’more. New boyfriends this week are from SEA and LAD. For the Mariners, Pottymouth picks the army brat who is always prepared, and Patti go...

You can keep your Kevin Bacon, we are practically related to Bad Bunny. I mean, we stood next to Ronald Acuña Jr once and he was in the casita so here we are. Nick is off to unbutton his jersey in San Diego, where they also are not a beer league. Kiké continues his one year at a time pace with the LAD. Players have another winning season over owners in the “stupid” arbitration system. It’s a three hamate week (tha...

It was a visually confusing finale for Serie del Caribe what with the Mexico on Mexico naming convention not matching the jersey situation. And then no jerseys to be had because, well, tariffs. In other major international tournament news, when it rains it tropical storms for Puerto Rico. Here’s looking at you, Javy, with hindsight as 20-20 vision. Check if your favorite players actually made it through the gauntlet to a WBC ...

This is not the first time we’ve selected baseball boyfriends because of their moms, but this may be the first time we’ve concocted a plan to bring them beer in person. This week we talk HOU and NYM. For the Astros, Pottymouth picks the mom in the stands reminding him to run and Patti chooses the mom in the clubhouse. For the Mets its Pottymouth goes for the mom who just wants both boys to have a great time and Patti th...