December 11, 2023 • 30 mins
The newly engaged Dr. Wendy Walsh talks about how life has been since proposing to her beloved Julio. Plus, Amy Robach and TJ Holmes' exes are dating each other. Apparently this is more common than one would think. We talk to Carol & David of The Sexy Lifestyle tell their journey of finding love in each other after their mutual heartbreak. PLUS how do cheaters justify their cheating? And Dr. Wendy is answering your relationship questions with her Wendy wisdom during her driveby relationship advice. It's all on KFIAM-640!
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(00:00):
You're listening to KFI AM six fortyon demand KFI AM six forty. You
have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you.This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show.
If you're new to my show,I have a PhD in clinical psychology.
I'm a psychology professor, but Iam obsessed with the science of love.
Producer Kayla, Do you know whyI'm talking so fast? Because you're so
excited because now you're engaged. No, because I said a double latte late
(00:23):
at night. Oh my goodness,you're going to be all night. I
know. It is like my cocaine, caffeine, caffeine, this lid.
I know. But my Julio tookme for a really long hike today and
I was feeling really sleepy, soI said, you have to stop at
the Starbucks. Please get me up. Okay, So, if you missed,
uh, the cliffhanger that really wasn'ta cliffhanger last week on my show.
(00:45):
Yes, I did a brave,crazy, wild thing, a gender
non conforming thing, and I proposedto my boyfriend Julio, live on the
air. He swears he did notknow at all. Well, if you've
not seen the video, Kayla's goingto post it on the KFI website.
So you just go to kfiam sixforty dot com, start searching doctor Wendy
(01:07):
Walsh and she's going to post it'son my YouTube right now. Uh Kaylos,
you can grab it from there thelink, and thank you Tony Sorrentino,
who edited for me. He washere with the three camera shoot.
I said to Julio later, youdidn't suspect that there were four other people
in the studio and a three camerashoot and lights and he goes, no,
I just thought that's what you usuallydo because you're making your TikTok videos
(01:29):
and so touch so and I andso. There is this dramatic pause.
You should check it out where Imy heart goes into my throat and I'm
losing it because he doesn't respond atfirst, and then he laughs, which
makes it worse. But he explainedto me later because I explained to him
this other story, you know,the ruse of why I was really getting
him on the show. This storywas going to take five or six minutes,
(01:52):
and I said, radio is atight time, honey, we should
rehearse it. So we rehearsed ourpre segment you know, like our red
herring say beforehand, and we rehearsedit like three times, and so he
said. The reason why he pausedis his brain said, wait, we
didn't rehearse this question. Oh what'sthe answer? What answer does she want
me to go? Oh? Oh, it's actually the question. So there
(02:14):
was this dramatic pause where I lostmy mind. But anyway, Julio and
I are now engaged. And letme tell you I've always said this,
the world organizes itself socially around couplehood, and relationships are a bridge between tribes,
and there is a ripple effect thatkind of goes everywhere when people make
(02:36):
this big kind of commitment to themselves. We are planning a wedding for next
summer, so you know, wehad to tell his family. I posted
it all over social media. Weimmediately get like dinner invitations from other couples,
right, because now we're admitted fullyinto the couple world. We've been
together three and a half years,we lived together, but now it's sort
of legitimate in some social way.Right. But then I always say,
(03:00):
the unconscious knows all. He getsa ping from an ex girl who used
to have the hots for him.I get a ping from an old playboy
boyfriend, and you know what Ido. I do not answer that text.
I call right away and go,hey, guess what. I just
got a gaged last night. Idid, and he I started rambling away
about it, what happened or whatever, and he's, well, I gotta
(03:23):
I gotta go, because you know, I was just texting you, letting
you know I'm gonna be in townnext week. I didn't know about this,
so I'm gonna call you right back. Okay, that was three days
ago. He didn't call me back. Okay, he didn't call me back.
So anyway, I do want tosay what I did was a gender
non conforming thing by proposing to myboyfriend. It is not for everyone to
(03:46):
do. This is not a messageto women out there to run out and
propose to your boyfriend. Let's thinkabout what a proposal represented in history.
It was always the women making thedecision, still has been, and and
men courted a woman to try toget her hand in marriage. Right,
he was winning the prize. Nowsomething's flipped because we have an oversupply of
(04:10):
successful women in the mating marketplace andwomen don't like to date down So as
a result, they're scrambling for thesmall population of commitment oriented men. So
women feel like they're the ones doingthe chasing and trying to quote unquote get
the proposal. I mean those whowant a long term commitment. Not everybody
does. Okay, just gonna saythat. So the way you do it,
(04:32):
though, is you have to behavelike a prize, not somebody who
is needy and wants to be married. In our case, if you watch
the whole segment, it was partof my Worthy of Love special. Julio
has a dark past and some peoplemight think he is not worthy of love.
(04:53):
So in our case, my gendernon conforming proposal was to say to
him, you are are worthy oflove and I would love to stand by
you for the rest of our lives. So, by the way, it's
really easy. We were looking atlike, what kind of what do you
call wedding vows we're gonna do?Because you know people write their own they
say all this stuff, right,eh, I said, no, let's
(05:15):
do this traditional. We're talking aboutsickness, health till deathtress part you know
that kind of thing, wealth,not whatever, poor, wherever it goes.
Because I said, we're at thatstage of our life where it's actually
going to be till death dress part. I mean, listen, even the
most monogamous of humans, because ofour very long life expectations, may have
two or three long stints of monogamyin their life. So it seems really
(05:35):
funny to me when I do goto a wedding and a twenty five year
old says, until death drew usapart. I'm like, no, that's
not going to happen. Okay,I know that, but that's natural and
it's normal, and it's okay,this is your starter husband, lady.
Okay. Anyway, in our case, we're at that age, we're facing
death's door. I have such adark sense of you, and Julio tells
(06:00):
me all the time that I do. But I do love Doug Kreamer.
It's so much fun. Listen.A relationship is an exchange of care,
and marriage has different meanings to differentpeople at different stages of their lives.
You may choose not to get married, by the way, I had a
big white Catholic wedding for my motherin like nineteen eighty one or eighty two.
I don't even remember. By theway, Kaitly, you know what
(06:21):
I realized today, what you knowwhat my wedding anniversary is. When I
was like twenty one years old,that big white Catholic wedding for my mother.
Please don't tell me it's December third, it's today. Oh I thought
it was an in proposable hilarious butit was close enough anyway, it was.
It's today, happy universary. Iremember his name. It's forty years
(06:44):
I know. I didn't take hisname, and that was in the early
eighties, so clearly I was like, not, yeah, it wasn't gonna
happen anyway. As we get older. So in our early when we're young,
we need marriage because of those vulnerableyears of pregnancy, nursing, nurse
raising small children. That's a timewhen you really need a strong, secure
base. You also need it asyou get older because you're exchanging real physical
(07:09):
care. I go to his doctor'sappointments with him, He goes drinking with
me, he drives me home.We need to physically care for each other.
He doesn't drink at all, whichis great. I have a designated
driver for the rest of my life. Anyway. I love my Julio.
It's very excited being engaged, andit's fun being a little bridezilla for a
minute and organizing a wedding, andthank you for all of you who have
(07:30):
been supporting us. Okay, Ido want to say so there's another speaking
on the There's the getting together sideand there's the breaking up side. Right,
So, if you've been following thenews at all this week, at
the iHeart jingle Ball red carpet,we saw not a love triangle, we
saw love square, a love square. You know a love square is you
(07:53):
know. Amy Roebuck and TJ.Holmes were actually very looking virus smitten at
the Iheartball, because they did theycame to La first and then they went
to New York. They're really infront of those cameras, right. This
is the couple who co hosted whichmorning show is ABC Good Morning America,
Good Morning? And did they likeget fired and then come back or something?
They did get fired. And Iwill say my friend, my co
(08:16):
hosts of my podcast, Patty IshKayla, was at the jingle Ball because
she works for kids, and shesaid that she did see them on the
red carpet. His hand did notleave her. But oh the lovey doveness
was real, but like not evenwaste Okay, so here's the thing.
Now. The latest news is thattheir exes, which are Andrew Shue and
(08:37):
his ex is Merrily Fiberg. Ithink she's an immigration attorney. So she's
a smartass attorney. He's an actorwith a bunch of awards behind him.
They're now dating. Can you imagine? So think of it this way.
This couple goes and has an affairtheir workplace, you know, work my
work wife, my work husband turnedinto work bedroom. Whatever they get together,
(09:01):
their exes have to call each otherto go. Can you believe this?
And in their grieving actually fall inlove. So now, I mean
the big question. I was onInside Edition this week and they asked me
what about the children. I'm like, well, you know, I think
is actually better than a stranger.Divorce and bring a stranger in. They
kind of know. They go toeach household and they know the parents pretty
(09:24):
well. All of the I don'tknow. Anyway, when we come back,
I want to introduce you to acouple where that very same thing happened
to them. They found out thattheir spouses were having an affair, so
they called each other up. I'mgoing to find out how this came about.
They met each other and they endedup falling in love and getting married.
Wonder how common this is. Youare listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
(09:46):
Show on KFI AM six forty onelive everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're
listening to KFI AM six forty ondemand I Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walls with you. Thisis the Doctor Wendy Wall Show. We're
talking about the big news of GoodMorning America. Co hosts who were married
(10:07):
to other people, fell in loveat work, had an affair, got
exposed by the tabloids. Now we'relearning that their exes are actually dating and
have been dating for the last fewmonths. My guests are Carolyn David from
Montreal, Canada. Their website isthe Sexylifestyle dot Com. Carolyn David,
(10:28):
Welcome to the show. Hey,Doctor Wendy, so nice to be chatting
with you again. Thank you forstaying up so late for me. So
I want to know about your lovestory. How did you guys get together?
Well, we kind of have afun story very similar to the tabloid
story where our exes fell in lovewith each other. We were neighbors and
(10:50):
friends and the whole families. Bothour family skied together at Jpeak and they
just got to know each other alittle bit better, and right in front
of our eyes, they all alsofell in love with each other. And
we had a big crisis and wewent through two divorces together, and that's
how we got together. We becamea couple, and now we're married.
Also, So let's talk about thetrauma of this in front of your eyes.
(11:16):
These two friendship couples who noticed firstthat the other two were making goo
goo eyes at each other. Thatwas pretty obvious. We both saw what
was happening. They were taking thedogs for a walk and it was just
there in front of us. Andso what did you do, Like,
did you confront them on a skitrip or how did that all come down?
(11:37):
You know what we learned over theyears that we were not very good
communicators back then, and that verywell could be the basis of our relationships,
you know, breaking up. Wedid not have great conversations at the
time when it was happening, buteven our friends and our family noticed that
something was going on between them,and it was not so easy to them.
(12:00):
I don't know why. Yeah,and Carol, what was it about
David, that helped you fall inlove with him? And when did it
happen like immediately afterwards at the sametime, No, it was a very
slow process for me. David wasthere, we were helping each other through
the divorces, so we definitely werefriends and at that time we were friends
(12:20):
with benefits, but it took alittle bit longer for me to fall in
love. But I remember the day, and maybe it was about a year
later after we've been together, butI do remember the day when I looked
at him in the morning in bed, he was still sleeping, and I
said, oh my god, Ilove this guy. And I told him
at the time that this is likereal love, like my heart was just
(12:41):
I don't know, expanding with theGrinch's heart. I really felt it that
one specific day. It was veryamazing. So we need to stop and
go backwards. Let's just rewind thattape a little bit. So you're both
married to other people. They starthaving an affair and you decide you're going
to be friends with benefit or wereyou guys all friends with benefits when you
(13:01):
were foursome? No, then allclarified. So after those guys told us
they were leaving us. David andI got dumped on the same day,
so maybe I missed it was abad day. That was a bad day
for you. That was a badday. And even though David and I
were friends already, as I toldyou, our couples were friends together,
(13:22):
we spent a lot more time afterthat dumped day where we were consoling each
other's Hey, what are we goingto do? And how are we going
to handle this? And the crisismanagement we did together, it all helped
us. And it also helped thatwe were having great friends would benefit sense.
So you started sleeping together, howsoon after you learned that your spouses
(13:45):
were doing it that same day,the same day. So you got together
and in your moment of crisis,yes, reached out to each other for
love and support and a little neurohormones and we call it a little bit
of monkey sex that happened that night. Wow. And so how long have
(14:05):
you been together? Now? Eighteenyears? Actually coming up as in our
anniversary was December twenty one. Wow. Well congratulations. Now, I should
say, in full honesty, youstarted your love relationship through a sexual relationship
and learned that the two of youreally enjoy sex, and that you really
(14:26):
enjoy sex, even with other people, and so you have started a community.
You have a podcast, I understandwith more than a million listeners a
community of people in the swinging lifestyle. Is that correct? Correct? Absolutely?
We fell into the swinging lifestyle abouttwo years into our relationship, so
we already had a very strong bond, and also we realized that our previous
(14:48):
relationships probably failed because we were insexless relationships, which I think by definition
of having sex less than ten timesper year, but I had even less
than that, So our bonds actuallywere starting to break, and it wasn't
not a surprise that we fell inlove with other people. Was not a
(15:09):
big surprise to us because our relationshipswere on the brink. Yeah, I
do want to say to listeners thathuman beings have the widest range of sexual
behavior of any primate species. Andalthough sexless mayriorgs, I've never heard that
definition of less than ten times ayear. Sexless to me means no sex.
But basically, some people have sexevery day, some people have sex
(15:30):
once every three months, and ifyou're happy, that's all that matters,
right, So frequency isn't necessarily anindicator of whether a relationship is healthy according
to science. But it sounds likeyour relationships definitely were a mismatch for you
guys, I would say so,and once we learned that are actually we
(15:50):
realize after getting together, like Itold you, with that little monkey sex,
we realized that we missed it andthat we kind of bowed to each
other that if this is going tobe and good relationship, even as a
friend and the friends with benefits,that we want us to be good.
We had decided at the very earlyon that we wanted to have good sex
together and be very communicative because wewere not on exes. Yeah, at
(16:11):
the end of the day, doesn'tit all fall down to communication. Thank
you so much for joining me Caroland David. If you want to find
out more about them and their lifestyle, it is called the sexylifestyle dot Com.
Thanks for joining me on the DoctorWendy Wall Show. When we come
back, I don't know if ifthese people's not the ones I just talked
(16:33):
to, are the celebrities The celebritiesexes justified their cheating with a certain psychological
trick. But according to science,those who commit adultery always rationalize their bad
behavior. When we come back,let's talk about how they rationalize things.
You're listening to the Doctor Wendywell Showon KFI AM six forty, were live
(16:55):
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You'relistening to KFI ams on DEMANDKFI AM six
forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walshwith you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walsh Show. Somebody on Instagram justasks me, is this the same desk
that handle sits in? Yeah,it is you. I am in his
chair. Is this his share too, Kayla? Yep. In the morning,
(17:15):
he's in this chair. In theevening, I'm in this chair.
If you'd like to come into thestudio live, you can come onto my
Instagram. The handle is at doctorWendy Walsh For those who are watching an
Instagram though, if you want todownload the iHeartRadio app. In the next
segment, I'll be taking your callsand if you want to be able to
hear the caller, you're both sidesof the conversation, then you're going to
need to listen on the iHeartRadio app. All right, what is adultery?
(17:41):
Does it need much of an explanation? Adultery is when a married person voluntarily
engages in a sexual relationship with somebodyoutside their monogamous marriage. It can be
called an extra marital affair. Now, I would also say that emotional cheating
is a form of adultery, right, because nowadays people can have a work
(18:02):
husband, workwife, they can havesomebody online that they're disclosing lots of personal
things too. They're developing an intimacy, and that emotional intimacy is a slippery
sloop towards physical intimacy. But youknow, nobody starts cheating by saying,
you know what, I'm a badperson and I'm gonna do a bad thing
and I'm gonna hurt my spouse.Nobody thinks that way. In fact,
(18:26):
they have various psychological techniques to rationalizetheir well negative behavior. Here are some
of the things that people who cheatthink, or some of all. They
may think, I deserve this.Some people rationalize that if they're not getting
all of their needs met in theirrelationship, that therefore they deserve to get
(18:48):
any need met outside of the relationship. Hmmm. It's almost a kind of
retribution this affair, right. Thatis not true because nobody is responded your
happiness. You know who's responsible foryour happiness? You you're responsible for your
happiness, and you don't do itby having an affair. You're going to
be really unhappy afterwards when you getdiscovered. All right, Sometimes people are
(19:10):
rationalize I love it when I hearthis light all the time. I don't
know, it just happened. Ididn't do it on purposes, it just
happened. No, No, affairsdon't just happen. They involve many many
steps, phone calls, techs,meeting in private places, having all kinds
of chances to say no before yourclothes are completely off. They are all
kinds of steps. They don't justhappen, like somehow your behavior is designed
(19:33):
by the cosmos and cube it upthere and somebody manipulates you. No.
No, no, this is yourbehavior and your responsibility. Oh I love
this one. Sometimes people will say, well, I didn't really have an
affair. I just hooked up withan X, so it's not really a
new person. It's somebody had sexwith before anyway, Like as if there's
(19:56):
less value in the adultery if it'ssomebody whose body you're already familiar with.
I don't think your spouse would agreewith you on that one. Then there
are people who rationalize by basically saying, well, my spouse doesn't really care
about me, and they probably wouldn'teven care if I cheat it. Yeah,
they make up these stories in theirhead that their spouse wouldn't even care.
(20:18):
Oh and then there's the missed opportunityone the people who feel like this
opportunity to cheat will never present itselfever again in my life. I mean,
I'm in Vegas on a business tripand I'm talking to a supermodel in
a bar. This is like winningthe lottery. I have to buy the
ticket. There's no other time thiscould ever have. You know what,
(20:41):
You are going to be presented withopportunities to cheat every single day of your
life, or I love this one. You know, I'm just not monogamous.
I've just got to live with thefact that I'm not a monogamous person.
Sorry, there's no such thing.You know what, if you're shopping.
Let's say you're out shopping and yousee something that you really want to
(21:03):
buy, some very expensive sneakers,and you don't have the money to buy
those sneakers, do you steal them? No, you stop yourself because you're
a moral person, right, youdon't shoplift. Well, the same thing
with cheating. You're not a nonmonogamous person. Anybody can be. It's
about controlling your behavior. So there'sother research to show what kind of thoughts
keep people from cheating, because noteverybody is unfaithful to their partners, and
(21:29):
so these researchers try to identify thereasons why people don't cheat, and they
interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people.This research study was called the Reasons that
Prevent People from Cheating on their partnersand Evolutionary account of the propensity not to
cheat. And here's what you needto hold in your head if you want
to keep yourself from cheating. Ilove my spouse. Think about the benefits
(21:51):
of your relationship. Number two,I'd feels so bad if I did this.
Yeah, allow yourself to feel guilty. Guilty controls your behavior. Number
three. If I cheat, myspouse might cheat too. What would it
feel like to be done to me? Number four? You know my spouse
(22:12):
hasn't really done anything bad to me. I wasn't provoked in any way.
Number five consequences. Oh my gosh, my spouse would leave me and I
wouldn't be able to see my kids. This would be terrible. Number six
Oh, I'd feel so embarrassed.I would look like a jerk. Yeah,
shame, social shame, or howabout this one. I just don't
(22:34):
want any drama in my life.I don't like drama. I don't want
drama. That's a very good wayto think, because it's drama when you
get caught having an affair. Andhow about I'm going to look like a
really bad person and I'm going tolose friends. Yeah, hold those thoughts.
When we come back, I amgoing to take your calls. The
phone number is one eight hundred fivetwo zero one KFI. That's one eight
(22:56):
hundred five two zero one five three. Give me a call if you've got
a relationship question. I'm happy toweigh in. You are listening to the
Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AMsix forty. We're live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFIAM six forty on demand KFI AM six
(23:17):
forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walshwith you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walls Show. This is the timeof the show where I am taking your
calls. A reminder, I amnot a therapist. I'm a psychology professor.
But I've written three books on relationships. My dissertation was on attachment theory,
and I am obsessed with the scienceof love. I've also had a
whole lot of life experience and Igot some wisdom for you. Okay,
(23:37):
if you'd like to call in,the number is one eight hundred five two
zero one KFI. That's one eighthundred five two zero one five three four
okay, Producer Kayla, who dowe have? First? We have Bruce
with a question. We have Bruce. Hi, Bruce, It's doctor Wendy.
Hi. Well, it's a pleasure. I've been a long time tad.
(24:00):
So I was living with the girlswho murdered almost a year and she
she broke up with me because shesaid that her dad didn't like me.
I'm a great guy. I youknow, I did everything for her.
I have torn so I have likea lot of time on my hands.
(24:21):
And so she broke up with mebecause her dad. She says she her
dad didn't like me. And it'sbeen for years and all of a sudden
she hits me. Then she's like, my dad's dying from cancer, and
I may see you want to seeyou? Can we hang out? And
this is like two days, she'slike, can we can I see you
(24:42):
later? Can we hang out?So? How do you feel about this?
So? So just a summary.So you live with a girl for
a year, she broke up withyou because she said her dad didn't like
you. Now it's two years later, dad is dying of cancer and she's
reaching out to you. How doyou feel about that? Honestly, I
have knowed. I mean, Ilove I love this dul I noticed in
(25:04):
high school. I'm thirty five yearsold. I know is high school.
Oh, I think she was likecrush and you really think the only reason
she moved she moved out from youis because of her dad. Well that's
what you're told me. You know, she was she had booken with her
boyfriend. And I had just wokenwith a my girlfriend for like eight years,
(25:26):
and we just kind of like intosomething. We started living together.
We're living together for likeabolic ten youknow what I mean? So do you
want to give it a chance?Do you want to give her another a
second chance? What do you think? I mean? I don't I don't
know, Okay, I mean,here's what I think. Okay, And
I do want to say this realquickly because I'm also alive on TikTok and
(25:47):
my TikTokers are saying, I can'thear the guest I know, download the
iHeartRadio app and you can listen toboth sides of the conversation, all right,
So that's why I try to summarizeand repeat what they're saying. So
she's reached out to you. You'veknown her since high school. You guys
are thirty five years old. Nowthis is make or break time about whether
you're going to have a family ornot, and a family together. She's
in a time of grieving because herand fear because her dad is has cancer
(26:11):
and it may be terminal, andshe's reaching out to somebody who she can
trust. Here's my advice to you, Bruce, get with her, like
stay with her, but be veryaware that she could do it to you
again. She may be using youas a secure base or secure force during
this time. Or maybe she's saying, I made a big mistake. It
(26:33):
was only my dad who did this, and you are the love of my
life. I in my if itwere me dating her, I would give
her a second chance because this lossthat she's potentially experiencing with her dad,
maybe this motivating moment for her tofinally come true. Now if you're in
another relationship? Are you in anotherrelationship? I love No? Okay,
(26:56):
good because I don't want you breakingup with anybody for her, So I
would say, give her a chance. Bruce. This sounds like a love
story that's meant to happen. You'veknown each other since high school. I
think you should go for it.Thank you for calling. That's a good
one. Okay, Producer, Kayla. Who do we have next? Hello?
She was Virginia. Oh, Virginia, Hi, Virginia, It's doctor
(27:17):
Wendy. Hi. Hi, howare you? What's your question? Much?
Hi? I'm sixty one, I'mwhite, and I'm went out on
a date with someone back in twentytwenty one, and he's black, and
he was forty six and I wasfifty nine. And he convinced me to
(27:37):
go out, and I went outand I was smitten with him, like
I never gave it anyone so muchyounger. And we had this like love
affair, and we did a lotof fun things together. We cooked,
we talked, he talked about socialissues like racism things, and then there
(27:57):
were some red flags and I endedup finding out on December twenty December in
twenty one that he was in arelationship for like eight years with someone and
it was devastating. So I calledhim out on it. And wait,
so let me understand. You foundout that he was in a relationship for
eight years with someone while he wasseeing you. Yeah, oh okay,
(28:21):
so you called him out on it, and what did he do? And
then it was? It was itwas awful. So then I didn't talk
to him for like a year,and then he set me flap like a
message and flowers back in twenty twentythree this year in March in February,
(28:41):
and he's like, I love you, blah blah blah, like I think
about you all the time. Andmy son played basketball at Syracuse. He
said, he's watching the games hethinks of me. Yeah, went on,
went on a couple, went onlike four or five deps, and
then it's just gone downhill, likewe've went out and he's kind of nasty.
(29:06):
But I don't know why that.I did you have sex with him
in these four or five dates whenhe tried to rekindle. No, we
didn't have sex until like the fifthor sixth state. Okay, so hey
got what he wanted. That's whyI went downhill. Okay, you need
to stop right there. This isa cheater. This is a man who
will say or do anything in orderto get back with you. And the
(29:26):
easiest way to pretend to get ashort term relationship is or the the easiest
way to obtain a short term relationshipis to pretend to want a long term
relationship. Stop it with the flowers. I don't care that anybody can order
flowers. Stop it with him,like, oh, I'm watching your son's
basketball game now, Oh I'm reallythinking about you. You need to dump
him, and you need to finda man who's not going to cheat on
(29:48):
you, because if he cheated onher, he will cheat on you.
I'm so sorry to deliver that terriblebad news, Virginia, but I have
heard these stories over and over inmy life. And if you're saying it's
going down here, yeah, it'sgoing downhill because he got what he wanted
this time around, and he'll he'llstart to come around again when he wants
it another time, and he'll dothe big displays of roses and stuff.
(30:10):
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm sorry, Virginia.
You got to cut him off.Okay, when we come back, I'm
going to continue to take your calls. The numbers one eight hundred five two
zero, one, five three four. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy
Walls Show on KFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app
KFI AM six forty on demand
You're listening to KFI AM six fortyon demand KFI AM six forty. You
have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you.This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show.
If you're new to my show,I have a PhD in clinical psychology.
I'm a psychology professor, but Iam obsessed with the science of love.
Producer Kayla, Do you know whyI'm talking so fast? Because you're so
excited because now you're engaged. No, because I said a double latte late
(00:23):
at night. Oh my goodness,you're going to be all night. I
know. It is like my cocaine, caffeine, caffeine, this lid.
I know. But my Julio tookme for a really long hike today and
I was feeling really sleepy, soI said, you have to stop at
the Starbucks. Please get me up. Okay, So, if you missed,
uh, the cliffhanger that really wasn'ta cliffhanger last week on my show.
(00:45):
Yes, I did a brave,crazy, wild thing, a gender
non conforming thing, and I proposedto my boyfriend Julio, live on the
air. He swears he did notknow at all. Well, if you've
not seen the video, Kayla's goingto post it on the KFI website.
So you just go to kfiam sixforty dot com, start searching doctor Wendy
(01:07):
Walsh and she's going to post it'son my YouTube right now. Uh Kaylos,
you can grab it from there thelink, and thank you Tony Sorrentino,
who edited for me. He washere with the three camera shoot.
I said to Julio later, youdidn't suspect that there were four other people
in the studio and a three camerashoot and lights and he goes, no,
I just thought that's what you usuallydo because you're making your TikTok videos
(01:29):
and so touch so and I andso. There is this dramatic pause.
You should check it out where Imy heart goes into my throat and I'm
losing it because he doesn't respond atfirst, and then he laughs, which
makes it worse. But he explainedto me later because I explained to him
this other story, you know,the ruse of why I was really getting
him on the show. This storywas going to take five or six minutes,
(01:52):
and I said, radio is atight time, honey, we should
rehearse it. So we rehearsed ourpre segment you know, like our red
herring say beforehand, and we rehearsedit like three times, and so he
said. The reason why he pausedis his brain said, wait, we
didn't rehearse this question. Oh what'sthe answer? What answer does she want
me to go? Oh? Oh, it's actually the question. So there
(02:14):
was this dramatic pause where I lostmy mind. But anyway, Julio and
I are now engaged. And letme tell you I've always said this,
the world organizes itself socially around couplehood, and relationships are a bridge between tribes,
and there is a ripple effect thatkind of goes everywhere when people make
(02:36):
this big kind of commitment to themselves. We are planning a wedding for next
summer, so you know, wehad to tell his family. I posted
it all over social media. Weimmediately get like dinner invitations from other couples,
right, because now we're admitted fullyinto the couple world. We've been
together three and a half years,we lived together, but now it's sort
of legitimate in some social way.Right. But then I always say,
(03:00):
the unconscious knows all. He getsa ping from an ex girl who used
to have the hots for him.I get a ping from an old playboy
boyfriend, and you know what Ido. I do not answer that text.
I call right away and go,hey, guess what. I just
got a gaged last night. Idid, and he I started rambling away
about it, what happened or whatever, and he's, well, I gotta
(03:23):
I gotta go, because you know, I was just texting you, letting
you know I'm gonna be in townnext week. I didn't know about this,
so I'm gonna call you right back. Okay, that was three days
ago. He didn't call me back. Okay, he didn't call me back.
So anyway, I do want tosay what I did was a gender
non conforming thing by proposing to myboyfriend. It is not for everyone to
(03:46):
do. This is not a messageto women out there to run out and
propose to your boyfriend. Let's thinkabout what a proposal represented in history.
It was always the women making thedecision, still has been, and and
men courted a woman to try toget her hand in marriage. Right,
he was winning the prize. Nowsomething's flipped because we have an oversupply of
(04:10):
successful women in the mating marketplace andwomen don't like to date down So as
a result, they're scrambling for thesmall population of commitment oriented men. So
women feel like they're the ones doingthe chasing and trying to quote unquote get
the proposal. I mean those whowant a long term commitment. Not everybody
does. Okay, just gonna saythat. So the way you do it,
(04:32):
though, is you have to behavelike a prize, not somebody who
is needy and wants to be married. In our case, if you watch
the whole segment, it was partof my Worthy of Love special. Julio
has a dark past and some peoplemight think he is not worthy of love.
(04:53):
So in our case, my gendernon conforming proposal was to say to
him, you are are worthy oflove and I would love to stand by
you for the rest of our lives. So, by the way, it's
really easy. We were looking atlike, what kind of what do you
call wedding vows we're gonna do?Because you know people write their own they
say all this stuff, right,eh, I said, no, let's
(05:15):
do this traditional. We're talking aboutsickness, health till deathtress part you know
that kind of thing, wealth,not whatever, poor, wherever it goes.
Because I said, we're at thatstage of our life where it's actually
going to be till death dress part. I mean, listen, even the
most monogamous of humans, because ofour very long life expectations, may have
two or three long stints of monogamyin their life. So it seems really
(05:35):
funny to me when I do goto a wedding and a twenty five year
old says, until death drew usapart. I'm like, no, that's
not going to happen. Okay,I know that, but that's natural and
it's normal, and it's okay,this is your starter husband, lady.
Okay. Anyway, in our case, we're at that age, we're facing
death's door. I have such adark sense of you, and Julio tells
(06:00):
me all the time that I do. But I do love Doug Kreamer.
It's so much fun. Listen.A relationship is an exchange of care,
and marriage has different meanings to differentpeople at different stages of their lives.
You may choose not to get married, by the way, I had a
big white Catholic wedding for my motherin like nineteen eighty one or eighty two.
I don't even remember. By theway, Kaitly, you know what
(06:21):
I realized today, what you knowwhat my wedding anniversary is. When I
was like twenty one years old,that big white Catholic wedding for my mother.
Please don't tell me it's December third, it's today. Oh I thought
it was an in proposable hilarious butit was close enough anyway, it was.
It's today, happy universary. Iremember his name. It's forty years
(06:44):
I know. I didn't take hisname, and that was in the early
eighties, so clearly I was like, not, yeah, it wasn't gonna
happen anyway. As we get older. So in our early when we're young,
we need marriage because of those vulnerableyears of pregnancy, nursing, nurse
raising small children. That's a timewhen you really need a strong, secure
base. You also need it asyou get older because you're exchanging real physical
(07:09):
care. I go to his doctor'sappointments with him, He goes drinking with
me, he drives me home.We need to physically care for each other.
He doesn't drink at all, whichis great. I have a designated
driver for the rest of my life. Anyway. I love my Julio.
It's very excited being engaged, andit's fun being a little bridezilla for a
minute and organizing a wedding, andthank you for all of you who have
(07:30):
been supporting us. Okay, Ido want to say so there's another speaking
on the There's the getting together sideand there's the breaking up side. Right,
So, if you've been following thenews at all this week, at
the iHeart jingle Ball red carpet,we saw not a love triangle, we
saw love square, a love square. You know a love square is you
(07:53):
know. Amy Roebuck and TJ.Holmes were actually very looking virus smitten at
the Iheartball, because they did theycame to La first and then they went
to New York. They're really infront of those cameras, right. This
is the couple who co hosted whichmorning show is ABC Good Morning America,
Good Morning? And did they likeget fired and then come back or something?
They did get fired. And Iwill say my friend, my co
(08:16):
hosts of my podcast, Patty IshKayla, was at the jingle Ball because
she works for kids, and shesaid that she did see them on the
red carpet. His hand did notleave her. But oh the lovey doveness
was real, but like not evenwaste Okay, so here's the thing.
Now. The latest news is thattheir exes, which are Andrew Shue and
(08:37):
his ex is Merrily Fiberg. Ithink she's an immigration attorney. So she's
a smartass attorney. He's an actorwith a bunch of awards behind him.
They're now dating. Can you imagine? So think of it this way.
This couple goes and has an affairtheir workplace, you know, work my
work wife, my work husband turnedinto work bedroom. Whatever they get together,
(09:01):
their exes have to call each otherto go. Can you believe this?
And in their grieving actually fall inlove. So now, I mean
the big question. I was onInside Edition this week and they asked me
what about the children. I'm like, well, you know, I think
is actually better than a stranger.Divorce and bring a stranger in. They
kind of know. They go toeach household and they know the parents pretty
(09:24):
well. All of the I don'tknow. Anyway, when we come back,
I want to introduce you to acouple where that very same thing happened
to them. They found out thattheir spouses were having an affair, so
they called each other up. I'mgoing to find out how this came about.
They met each other and they endedup falling in love and getting married.
Wonder how common this is. Youare listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
(09:46):
Show on KFI AM six forty onelive everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're
listening to KFI AM six forty ondemand I Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walls with you. Thisis the Doctor Wendy Wall Show. We're
talking about the big news of GoodMorning America. Co hosts who were married
(10:07):
to other people, fell in loveat work, had an affair, got
exposed by the tabloids. Now we'relearning that their exes are actually dating and
have been dating for the last fewmonths. My guests are Carolyn David from
Montreal, Canada. Their website isthe Sexylifestyle dot Com. Carolyn David,
(10:28):
Welcome to the show. Hey,Doctor Wendy, so nice to be chatting
with you again. Thank you forstaying up so late for me. So
I want to know about your lovestory. How did you guys get together?
Well, we kind of have afun story very similar to the tabloid
story where our exes fell in lovewith each other. We were neighbors and
(10:50):
friends and the whole families. Bothour family skied together at Jpeak and they
just got to know each other alittle bit better, and right in front
of our eyes, they all alsofell in love with each other. And
we had a big crisis and wewent through two divorces together, and that's
how we got together. We becamea couple, and now we're married.
Also, So let's talk about thetrauma of this in front of your eyes.
(11:16):
These two friendship couples who noticed firstthat the other two were making goo
goo eyes at each other. Thatwas pretty obvious. We both saw what
was happening. They were taking thedogs for a walk and it was just
there in front of us. Andso what did you do, Like,
did you confront them on a skitrip or how did that all come down?
(11:37):
You know what we learned over theyears that we were not very good
communicators back then, and that verywell could be the basis of our relationships,
you know, breaking up. Wedid not have great conversations at the
time when it was happening, buteven our friends and our family noticed that
something was going on between them,and it was not so easy to them.
(12:00):
I don't know why. Yeah,and Carol, what was it about
David, that helped you fall inlove with him? And when did it
happen like immediately afterwards at the sametime, No, it was a very
slow process for me. David wasthere, we were helping each other through
the divorces, so we definitely werefriends and at that time we were friends
(12:20):
with benefits, but it took alittle bit longer for me to fall in
love. But I remember the day, and maybe it was about a year
later after we've been together, butI do remember the day when I looked
at him in the morning in bed, he was still sleeping, and I
said, oh my god, Ilove this guy. And I told him
at the time that this is likereal love, like my heart was just
(12:41):
I don't know, expanding with theGrinch's heart. I really felt it that
one specific day. It was veryamazing. So we need to stop and
go backwards. Let's just rewind thattape a little bit. So you're both
married to other people. They starthaving an affair and you decide you're going
to be friends with benefit or wereyou guys all friends with benefits when you
(13:01):
were foursome? No, then allclarified. So after those guys told us
they were leaving us. David andI got dumped on the same day,
so maybe I missed it was abad day. That was a bad day
for you. That was a badday. And even though David and I
were friends already, as I toldyou, our couples were friends together,
(13:22):
we spent a lot more time afterthat dumped day where we were consoling each
other's Hey, what are we goingto do? And how are we going
to handle this? And the crisismanagement we did together, it all helped
us. And it also helped thatwe were having great friends would benefit sense.
So you started sleeping together, howsoon after you learned that your spouses
(13:45):
were doing it that same day,the same day. So you got together
and in your moment of crisis,yes, reached out to each other for
love and support and a little neurohormones and we call it a little bit
of monkey sex that happened that night. Wow. And so how long have
(14:05):
you been together? Now? Eighteenyears? Actually coming up as in our
anniversary was December twenty one. Wow. Well congratulations. Now, I should
say, in full honesty, youstarted your love relationship through a sexual relationship
and learned that the two of youreally enjoy sex, and that you really
(14:26):
enjoy sex, even with other people, and so you have started a community.
You have a podcast, I understandwith more than a million listeners a
community of people in the swinging lifestyle. Is that correct? Correct? Absolutely?
We fell into the swinging lifestyle abouttwo years into our relationship, so
we already had a very strong bond, and also we realized that our previous
(14:48):
relationships probably failed because we were insexless relationships, which I think by definition
of having sex less than ten timesper year, but I had even less
than that, So our bonds actuallywere starting to break, and it wasn't
not a surprise that we fell inlove with other people. Was not a
(15:09):
big surprise to us because our relationshipswere on the brink. Yeah, I
do want to say to listeners thathuman beings have the widest range of sexual
behavior of any primate species. Andalthough sexless mayriorgs, I've never heard that
definition of less than ten times ayear. Sexless to me means no sex.
But basically, some people have sexevery day, some people have sex
(15:30):
once every three months, and ifyou're happy, that's all that matters,
right, So frequency isn't necessarily anindicator of whether a relationship is healthy according
to science. But it sounds likeyour relationships definitely were a mismatch for you
guys, I would say so,and once we learned that are actually we
(15:50):
realize after getting together, like Itold you, with that little monkey sex,
we realized that we missed it andthat we kind of bowed to each
other that if this is going tobe and good relationship, even as a
friend and the friends with benefits,that we want us to be good.
We had decided at the very earlyon that we wanted to have good sex
together and be very communicative because wewere not on exes. Yeah, at
(16:11):
the end of the day, doesn'tit all fall down to communication. Thank
you so much for joining me Caroland David. If you want to find
out more about them and their lifestyle, it is called the sexylifestyle dot Com.
Thanks for joining me on the DoctorWendy Wall Show. When we come
back, I don't know if ifthese people's not the ones I just talked
(16:33):
to, are the celebrities The celebritiesexes justified their cheating with a certain psychological
trick. But according to science,those who commit adultery always rationalize their bad
behavior. When we come back,let's talk about how they rationalize things.
You're listening to the Doctor Wendywell Showon KFI AM six forty, were live
(16:55):
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You'relistening to KFI ams on DEMANDKFI AM six
forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walshwith you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walsh Show. Somebody on Instagram justasks me, is this the same desk
that handle sits in? Yeah,it is you. I am in his
chair. Is this his share too, Kayla? Yep. In the morning,
(17:15):
he's in this chair. In theevening, I'm in this chair.
If you'd like to come into thestudio live, you can come onto my
Instagram. The handle is at doctorWendy Walsh For those who are watching an
Instagram though, if you want todownload the iHeartRadio app. In the next
segment, I'll be taking your callsand if you want to be able to
hear the caller, you're both sidesof the conversation, then you're going to
need to listen on the iHeartRadio app. All right, what is adultery?
(17:41):
Does it need much of an explanation? Adultery is when a married person voluntarily
engages in a sexual relationship with somebodyoutside their monogamous marriage. It can be
called an extra marital affair. Now, I would also say that emotional cheating
is a form of adultery, right, because nowadays people can have a work
(18:02):
husband, workwife, they can havesomebody online that they're disclosing lots of personal
things too. They're developing an intimacy, and that emotional intimacy is a slippery
sloop towards physical intimacy. But youknow, nobody starts cheating by saying,
you know what, I'm a badperson and I'm gonna do a bad thing
and I'm gonna hurt my spouse.Nobody thinks that way. In fact,
(18:26):
they have various psychological techniques to rationalizetheir well negative behavior. Here are some
of the things that people who cheatthink, or some of all. They
may think, I deserve this.Some people rationalize that if they're not getting
all of their needs met in theirrelationship, that therefore they deserve to get
(18:48):
any need met outside of the relationship. Hmmm. It's almost a kind of
retribution this affair, right. Thatis not true because nobody is responded your
happiness. You know who's responsible foryour happiness? You you're responsible for your
happiness, and you don't do itby having an affair. You're going to
be really unhappy afterwards when you getdiscovered. All right, Sometimes people are
(19:10):
rationalize I love it when I hearthis light all the time. I don't
know, it just happened. Ididn't do it on purposes, it just
happened. No, No, affairsdon't just happen. They involve many many
steps, phone calls, techs,meeting in private places, having all kinds
of chances to say no before yourclothes are completely off. They are all
kinds of steps. They don't justhappen, like somehow your behavior is designed
(19:33):
by the cosmos and cube it upthere and somebody manipulates you. No.
No, no, this is yourbehavior and your responsibility. Oh I love
this one. Sometimes people will say, well, I didn't really have an
affair. I just hooked up withan X, so it's not really a
new person. It's somebody had sexwith before anyway, Like as if there's
(19:56):
less value in the adultery if it'ssomebody whose body you're already familiar with.
I don't think your spouse would agreewith you on that one. Then there
are people who rationalize by basically saying, well, my spouse doesn't really care
about me, and they probably wouldn'teven care if I cheat it. Yeah,
they make up these stories in theirhead that their spouse wouldn't even care.
(20:18):
Oh and then there's the missed opportunityone the people who feel like this
opportunity to cheat will never present itselfever again in my life. I mean,
I'm in Vegas on a business tripand I'm talking to a supermodel in
a bar. This is like winningthe lottery. I have to buy the
ticket. There's no other time thiscould ever have. You know what,
(20:41):
You are going to be presented withopportunities to cheat every single day of your
life, or I love this one. You know, I'm just not monogamous.
I've just got to live with thefact that I'm not a monogamous person.
Sorry, there's no such thing.You know what, if you're shopping.
Let's say you're out shopping and yousee something that you really want to
(21:03):
buy, some very expensive sneakers,and you don't have the money to buy
those sneakers, do you steal them? No, you stop yourself because you're
a moral person, right, youdon't shoplift. Well, the same thing
with cheating. You're not a nonmonogamous person. Anybody can be. It's
about controlling your behavior. So there'sother research to show what kind of thoughts
keep people from cheating, because noteverybody is unfaithful to their partners, and
(21:29):
so these researchers try to identify thereasons why people don't cheat, and they
interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people.This research study was called the Reasons that
Prevent People from Cheating on their partnersand Evolutionary account of the propensity not to
cheat. And here's what you needto hold in your head if you want
to keep yourself from cheating. Ilove my spouse. Think about the benefits
(21:51):
of your relationship. Number two,I'd feels so bad if I did this.
Yeah, allow yourself to feel guilty. Guilty controls your behavior. Number
three. If I cheat, myspouse might cheat too. What would it
feel like to be done to me? Number four? You know my spouse
(22:12):
hasn't really done anything bad to me. I wasn't provoked in any way.
Number five consequences. Oh my gosh, my spouse would leave me and I
wouldn't be able to see my kids. This would be terrible. Number six
Oh, I'd feel so embarrassed.I would look like a jerk. Yeah,
shame, social shame, or howabout this one. I just don't
(22:34):
want any drama in my life.I don't like drama. I don't want
drama. That's a very good wayto think, because it's drama when you
get caught having an affair. Andhow about I'm going to look like a
really bad person and I'm going tolose friends. Yeah, hold those thoughts.
When we come back, I amgoing to take your calls. The
phone number is one eight hundred fivetwo zero one KFI. That's one eight
(22:56):
hundred five two zero one five three. Give me a call if you've got
a relationship question. I'm happy toweigh in. You are listening to the
Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AMsix forty. We're live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFIAM six forty on demand KFI AM six
(23:17):
forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walshwith you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walls Show. This is the timeof the show where I am taking your
calls. A reminder, I amnot a therapist. I'm a psychology professor.
But I've written three books on relationships. My dissertation was on attachment theory,
and I am obsessed with the scienceof love. I've also had a
whole lot of life experience and Igot some wisdom for you. Okay,
(23:37):
if you'd like to call in,the number is one eight hundred five two
zero one KFI. That's one eighthundred five two zero one five three four
okay, Producer Kayla, who dowe have? First? We have Bruce
with a question. We have Bruce. Hi, Bruce, It's doctor Wendy.
Hi. Well, it's a pleasure. I've been a long time tad.
(24:00):
So I was living with the girlswho murdered almost a year and she
she broke up with me because shesaid that her dad didn't like me.
I'm a great guy. I youknow, I did everything for her.
I have torn so I have likea lot of time on my hands.
(24:21):
And so she broke up with mebecause her dad. She says she her
dad didn't like me. And it'sbeen for years and all of a sudden
she hits me. Then she's like, my dad's dying from cancer, and
I may see you want to seeyou? Can we hang out? And
this is like two days, she'slike, can we can I see you
(24:42):
later? Can we hang out?So? How do you feel about this?
So? So just a summary.So you live with a girl for
a year, she broke up withyou because she said her dad didn't like
you. Now it's two years later, dad is dying of cancer and she's
reaching out to you. How doyou feel about that? Honestly, I
have knowed. I mean, Ilove I love this dul I noticed in
(25:04):
high school. I'm thirty five yearsold. I know is high school.
Oh, I think she was likecrush and you really think the only reason
she moved she moved out from youis because of her dad. Well that's
what you're told me. You know, she was she had booken with her
boyfriend. And I had just wokenwith a my girlfriend for like eight years,
(25:26):
and we just kind of like intosomething. We started living together.
We're living together for likeabolic ten youknow what I mean? So do you
want to give it a chance?Do you want to give her another a
second chance? What do you think? I mean? I don't I don't
know, Okay, I mean,here's what I think. Okay, And
I do want to say this realquickly because I'm also alive on TikTok and
(25:47):
my TikTokers are saying, I can'thear the guest I know, download the
iHeartRadio app and you can listen toboth sides of the conversation, all right,
So that's why I try to summarizeand repeat what they're saying. So
she's reached out to you. You'veknown her since high school. You guys
are thirty five years old. Nowthis is make or break time about whether
you're going to have a family ornot, and a family together. She's
in a time of grieving because herand fear because her dad is has cancer
(26:11):
and it may be terminal, andshe's reaching out to somebody who she can
trust. Here's my advice to you, Bruce, get with her, like
stay with her, but be veryaware that she could do it to you
again. She may be using youas a secure base or secure force during
this time. Or maybe she's saying, I made a big mistake. It
(26:33):
was only my dad who did this, and you are the love of my
life. I in my if itwere me dating her, I would give
her a second chance because this lossthat she's potentially experiencing with her dad,
maybe this motivating moment for her tofinally come true. Now if you're in
another relationship? Are you in anotherrelationship? I love No? Okay,
(26:56):
good because I don't want you breakingup with anybody for her, So I
would say, give her a chance. Bruce. This sounds like a love
story that's meant to happen. You'veknown each other since high school. I
think you should go for it.Thank you for calling. That's a good
one. Okay, Producer, Kayla. Who do we have next? Hello?
She was Virginia. Oh, Virginia, Hi, Virginia, It's doctor
(27:17):
Wendy. Hi. Hi, howare you? What's your question? Much?
Hi? I'm sixty one, I'mwhite, and I'm went out on
a date with someone back in twentytwenty one, and he's black, and
he was forty six and I wasfifty nine. And he convinced me to
(27:37):
go out, and I went outand I was smitten with him, like
I never gave it anyone so muchyounger. And we had this like love
affair, and we did a lotof fun things together. We cooked,
we talked, he talked about socialissues like racism things, and then there
(27:57):
were some red flags and I endedup finding out on December twenty December in
twenty one that he was in arelationship for like eight years with someone and
it was devastating. So I calledhim out on it. And wait,
so let me understand. You foundout that he was in a relationship for
eight years with someone while he wasseeing you. Yeah, oh okay,
(28:21):
so you called him out on it, and what did he do? And
then it was? It was itwas awful. So then I didn't talk
to him for like a year,and then he set me flap like a
message and flowers back in twenty twentythree this year in March in February,
(28:41):
and he's like, I love you, blah blah blah, like I think
about you all the time. Andmy son played basketball at Syracuse. He
said, he's watching the games hethinks of me. Yeah, went on,
went on a couple, went onlike four or five deps, and
then it's just gone downhill, likewe've went out and he's kind of nasty.
(29:06):
But I don't know why that.I did you have sex with him
in these four or five dates whenhe tried to rekindle. No, we
didn't have sex until like the fifthor sixth state. Okay, so hey
got what he wanted. That's whyI went downhill. Okay, you need
to stop right there. This isa cheater. This is a man who
will say or do anything in orderto get back with you. And the
(29:26):
easiest way to pretend to get ashort term relationship is or the the easiest
way to obtain a short term relationshipis to pretend to want a long term
relationship. Stop it with the flowers. I don't care that anybody can order
flowers. Stop it with him,like, oh, I'm watching your son's
basketball game now, Oh I'm reallythinking about you. You need to dump
him, and you need to finda man who's not going to cheat on
(29:48):
you, because if he cheated onher, he will cheat on you.
I'm so sorry to deliver that terriblebad news, Virginia, but I have
heard these stories over and over inmy life. And if you're saying it's
going down here, yeah, it'sgoing downhill because he got what he wanted
this time around, and he'll he'llstart to come around again when he wants
it another time, and he'll dothe big displays of roses and stuff.
(30:10):
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm sorry, Virginia.
You got to cut him off.Okay, when we come back, I'm
going to continue to take your calls. The numbers one eight hundred five two
zero, one, five three four. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy
Walls Show on KFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app
KFI AM six forty on demand
Dr. Wendy Walsh on Demand News
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