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February 20, 2025 • 42 mins

Kurt and Scotty answer listener advice and play some Would You Rathers!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Would you lisillion pieces? Would you believe?

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Bana Bana Bana bana?

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Banana guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to a Bonusode episode.
Oh you know, I always do it. It's episode I
do say, a bonus Ode episode. It's baked into the word.
It's baked into the word, and I still want to
do it. A bonus episode of bananas.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Hi, Scotty, Hey, Kurtie b Yeah, it's fine. We might
have a new listener that today they started, they go,
what is this Banan's podcast? I keep hearing about people
are up on mountaintops, up on high screaming, listen to bananas,
Listen to bananas? And so you know you have to
hear or something seven times, maybe twenty times in today's

(01:03):
content overloaded society. And so today they said, today I'm
going to tune in. What is this? What is it?

Speaker 1 (01:09):
As soon as I said bonus Ode episode, they went
not for me?

Speaker 3 (01:14):
It went no, thank you. These guys are not taking
a hard enough stance on political issues one star.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Speaking of that, speaking of hard enough stance on a
political issue, Uh, can we talk about the banana's blood bonanza?

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Scottie, Oh, great idea, Curdie B called me out of
the blue, no warning text, just a cold call.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
In this cold call, I cold call people. I've called
called a lot this last week.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yep, And I just go.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
I know nobody likes this, so here it is. It's
the Banana's Blood Bonanza. I think we're I think April's
maybe a good time to do it. Yes, that gives
everybody enough time to prep So for the month of April,
we are all of us are going to be giving blood.
So Scotty and I will hopefully go April first together.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
And and the Red Cross has a Bananimal group that
you can join.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Download the app and just it's Freda's sign and our
team name are the Bananimals.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, and in April, our plan is to be the
number one blood donor in America for the month of April.
So let's get the Bananimals up there. It's the it's
the it will have graphics, maybe we'll make T shirts.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
We currently we have one hundred and seven Bananimal team
members and we are currently ranked where are we ban
Animals two hundred and fifty fourth. We are above the
USC Trojans and we are below the irs. Literally we're

(02:57):
below the irs.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
How many? How many? What's nownumber one? How many people
do we have to get to sign up?

Speaker 3 (03:04):
We go top ten? Well one, we're never gonna beat
the American Red Cross donor group and the American Red Cross.
So we're going in for number three, which is the
Church of Latter day Saints.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Oh, let's beat them. How many?

Speaker 3 (03:18):
And the Boy Scouts? So those are four. Now, I'm
not gonna lie. It's gonna be hard, but we even
if we lose, I think we can easily crack the
top top ten. Yeah, we could definitely do top twenty five.
So like Clemson University is forty two, we can go

(03:40):
get them. They they don't we can get them.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Okay, But like.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Teachers, just the just in Generals have saved fifty five
thousand lives so far. The ban animals we've saved seven
thousand lives. Okay, so we're gonna we can beat some blood.
I'm going to donate platelet. I'm going straight platelet.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
You're going straight plate lit?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Great, I'm going straight. I don't I've never done it before,
but I was researching That's what I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Do, all right. I love that. I was just really
inspired by that dad who donates blood every fifty eight days.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
And I love that, man. I want twenty.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
I want to do that. I want to donate blood
every fifty eight days. I love that idea.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
I went back and asked that pananimal Pamela, what her
dad's name was, her nameless father. His name is Jay.
So thank you Jay for donating for like his entire
his daughter's entire life. Basically, it's so cool over twenty
gallons of blood.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
And if you don't know what we're talking about, that
means you don't listen to the thumbs up. I know
some of you're over there hitting the thirty second jump
button on the top on the thumbs ups. Thumbs ups
are beautiful. They're getting more beautiful by the day, folks.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
And I got to say, there's a horrible trend in
our society. And I don't know when it started, but
nobody cheers for anybody and more nobody roots for anybody,
or more everybody tries to tear. As soon as something
good happens, people start to negate it and they get sinic,
they get bitter, they get jaded. Thumbs ups are just
about celebrating good things. And so if you're skipping those.

(05:07):
Look in the mirror and say, why am I not
happy for other people getting a thumbs up? You want
a thumbs up. You can comb yourself.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Up to get a thumbs up is one of the
easier things in life. Because Scotty really gets a very
good list.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
It's long speaking with This is actually a good transition.
This isn't a thumbs up. This is something I did
want to announce early in an episode. So we have
ban animal named Jared Miller. He lives in Anaheim, California.
He's been to too splitty in the city's kurt so he said,
those are my bona fides. He did both la, I
love these. So the recent wildfires and Altadena and the

(05:46):
Palisades just happened to occur on the third anniversary of
Jared's wife passing away. He says it occurred to him,
it's very of course, very difficult. And Jared said it
occurred to him that someone might have lost their wedding
dress in that fire when they have to flee. So
he has his wife's wedding dress. It is a beautiful

(06:07):
size eight Jessica McClintock dress. It only needs a little
dry cleaning and whatever custom tailor a bananimal might o.
My god, but he is offering this wedding dress to
any bananimal. So if you're a size eight or close
or planning on being a size eight on your wedding day,
email us with the subject wedding dress and I will
connect you over email to Jared. He's giving it away.

(06:30):
He just doesn't, you know, He thought somebody might have
lost something for the big day and maybe they can't
afford a new one. So, you know, thumbs up to
Jared Miller for just a jaredod guy.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Oh my god, Bananimal of the month. Yeah, Bananimal of
the month, Jared. Okay, that means the next three episodes
we record, nobody gets to be Banana of the week
because you already are a Bananimal of the week. My god, Jared,
thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
So Yeah, size eight, Jessica McClintock dress. It's a beautiful dress.
I mean, as far as you can trust white Guy's opinion,
it is a very lovely wedding dress that I think
a lot of people so just get to us. This
is not a competition. If you need a wedding dress,
even if you're just if you didn't lose it in
the wildfires. But you're in a place in your life
where you need one and you can't get one, we

(07:16):
might have one for you. That's all.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
That's great and this is this is that that's amazing,
and this is why you need to listen to the bonusodes. Okay,
that's a Honestly, I find that we talk about stuff
pretty exciting stuff for the photoso because it's just us,
you know what I mean. It's not like there's no
one to talk about or two.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
That's true, and we've just recorded so many episodes of
Bananas with guests. We are loaded with guests. So if
you like to just hear the bee boys just getting silly,
bonusodes are for you. Jen Barbosa sent this in. Here's
what would you rather to start us out of the gate,
just splinting like thoroughbreds? Like it? Would you rather? KURTI

(07:55):
Bee whisper sweet. Nothing's affectionately to your food. Before ever
eating anything off your plate, or anytime you're offered anything
to drink, you must cut your hands together and say
thank you, I'm parched, and then sip and slurp it
down loudly.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Oh that's easy. For me, the first one I would
in fact, I would like to begin doing that.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
I get.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
I think that's a great idea.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
It's so funny you just said that, because when I
was screenshotting these and going through them, I was like, honestly,
I should start whispering to my food more often. Yes, oh,
I'm going to eat you so good?

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, yeah, No, I love that idea because also there
is a thing, there is a there's an act of
mindfulness one, and there's an act of gratitude that has
to happen there. You know that you're expressing that out loud,
I think means something like we try and do a
version of grace with the kids in which we thank

(08:52):
the animals and the plants living their life for our meal,
and it doesn't. It goes over their heads like they
don't know, they go, they don't hair about it. But
for me, I think, like down the road, that will
have an impact on in some level.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
You use sixteen times, I'm going to use so slow.
Isn't it funny that we grew up thinking that taste
buds were in different places on your tongue, and now
they're like, no, they're not. They're all to me.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
That was always crazy to me that because you don't.
It's not how you experience food. You would you would
have like a left side bitter taste and a sweet
side right, Like, it doesn't make it never made any.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Size to why did they lie? Just one of those lies.
It was so common you could I'm sure you can remember.
It was a picture of the top posters and there'd
be a little thing and be like sour on the
tip and it's sweet on the and you're like they
were just lyned.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
They just made it up.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
One did big tongue win?

Speaker 1 (09:51):
But also it does how much that science is just
throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks, like
that is all science is doing. We take science as
just this like well that's the truth, and there it is.
And then it's like just go look at the food
pyramid from like the fifties, Like cream was like the
main thing you're supposed to.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Eat the end the shipped cream. Big cream got in
there hard man. They're like put sweet right on the
tip of the tongue because big cream is here to stay.
I know. It's like, yeah, you should eat five pieces
of bread a day. You're like, yeah, where were we
now with this?

Speaker 1 (10:28):
How could I. It's like, it's kind of hard to
eat five pieces, to have two sandwiches and then also
just one more piece of bread.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
I know. I was out with a friend that I
knew he was on a doom date. It's probably fifteen
twenty years ago, and he was like, Hey, meet this
girl I've gone a couple dates with. We're grabbing a brunch.
So I meet him in Brooklyn and he ordered a bagel,
like a salmon big locks bagel or whatever. And she's
the woman says, you know, eating a bagel is like

(10:56):
eating six pieces of bread. And my friend goes, oh, really,
I guess I should have ordered six pieces of bread then,
and she goes, what do you mean? He goes, why
I would rather eat six pieces of bread than one bagel?
And I watched them, like all of a sudden, start
to measure each other and be like, is he fucking
with me? Or And I didn't know what side to take,

(11:17):
and I'm like, why would you want to eat six
pieces of bread? And they broke up soon after, But
it was fun to see an argument just launch over
you know what bagel is actually like eating six pieces
of bread?

Speaker 1 (11:28):
I wonder if it's six pieces. I feel like it's
less than six pieces. I feel like it's four or
five pieces of bread. Let's look into it. I'm going
to get into it right now. It's an educational podcast.
Even in the bonusodes jin.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Barbas, we're going with number one, whispering sweet, nothing's to
our food before we eat anything off our plate. And
it's I like the idea of putting your hands out
like at a bar and cupping your hands and being like,
I have a beer, sir, good.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Here it is already. This is from wild grain dot com.
Based on carbohydrates and calories, approximately three slices of bread
are equivalent to one medium sized bagel.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
The other one you always hear is that remember people
would be like, oh, drinking guinness is like eating five
pieces of bread, and you're like, it's like, you know,
it's not.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's calories, it's not bad. It's as far as like
beers go, it's on the lower end. Like it's way
better than any of you, like your micro bruise. Hmmm,
I have Oh I got a story.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Oh I love a story. Yeah. You can also send
crazy banana stories to us. We don't mind. We just
found when we did minis its back in the day
that the variety was. The stratification was so great that
some stories like the person doing acid for the first
time hugging a dead manatee while too that story is

(12:53):
so hard to be we didn't want people to ever
feel like they had to try to live up to that. Yeah,
so this so we pivoted.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
This was sent him by Scarlett Estelle. It was just
on the podcast and yeah, I'll let her tell her story.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Okay, let's listen, so quick story about being a jazz
club hostess. And I didn't say this on the show,
mostly because I didn't feel like bringing up on the show.
But this was before I became the hostess, but like
just a little tiny bit before I had a show
in Philly and apparently after the show just needed to

(13:31):
eat and for some reason found our jazz club and
our chef is really really well known, so he was like,
I need to eat there. We were literally about to close.
He gets there and the chef's like, hey, like how
can I help, Like we are we are closing, And
he goes and he gets he gets given him you

(13:51):
you know, like like let's take care of whatever's happening.
Let's give him a menu and he goes, no need,
I want to lobster fiesta.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
The fuck is.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
A lobster fiesta. So everybody's just kind of like looking
at each other being like, first of all, can he
just like not read like and he just like wouldn't
He wouldn't choose anything other than this random thing called
a lobster fiesta. He wouldn't tell us what's in it,
just I want a lobster fiesta. And had this midnight

(14:22):
on a random weekday. Our chef had to go out
source a lobster and come up with this concoction that
was the lobster Fiesta, and apparently at the end of it,
he goes, that was the best lobster fiesta I've ever.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
Held a lot.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Oh man, what would be if you were making a
lobster fiesta? What would be in your lobster fiesta? M Well,
because it's not just a lobster party.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah, yeah, so I would. I would have the the
chef boil or steam a lobster and deconstruct it where
they cut the entire top off and filled in the
shell of the lobster entirely with cooked and chopped up

(15:17):
lobster meat and cheese and refried beans and then served
on a sea of tortilla chips.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
I love this. This is a beautiful lobster fiesta. I'm
gonna go. I'm gonna go again. Same thing. Okay, main
body of the lobster. All it's opened in such a
way that it's opened like a like a space shuttle. Okay,
like the space shuttle loading bay. All of the meat
inside is taken out. Okay, it's then closed back up.

(15:51):
But before it inserted inside are little steamed clams. Okay,
so you've got all the steamed clams inside the lops
all right. Then you have like you know, your your uh,
your your tray that has like the three things. Okay,
but this one a little tower. But this one is
a little longer metal piece on top because the lobster

(16:15):
is then dangled like a pinata, and you have little
forks uh that you then hit the lobster with until uh,
until the clams pour out into your into the top tray.
But then the bottom tray has the lobster, and then
or the middle tray has the lobster from and then
the bottom tray just has like uh, blue crab claws

(16:37):
and oysters and shrimps. Now that is a fielt and
everything has a little bit and everything has like a
like a hot sauce that you can put with it,
and a salt so that you can dip it with
the so making the fiesta part as well.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Yeah, that's really nice. I mean, yeah, I've pitched this
multiple times on the pod. But my invention that I
will shark tank the Fiesta donkey. And I think you
could easily replace the Fiesta donkey with a steamed lobster.
And I think what you just described is a tower
Fiesta lobster, which could also be you could just take

(17:14):
your Fiesta donkey.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Can you tell me the Fiesta donkey again?

Speaker 3 (17:19):
Sure, it's a it's the world's first entertainment tabletop party donkey,
and it is. It's very simple.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
You sounds simple first and foremost. I see fiesta donkey
on the menu, I'm like, this must be a simple
dish to make.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
You lift up one of the donkey's ears and hot
not your cheese comes out. You push down on the
donkey's nose and fresh guacamole tableside, guacamole comes out.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Of his vomits, Fresh squacam.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Out his nose. Yeah. Yeah, mouth vomits very good Pico
to guy a salsa. And then you lift that tail
molet sauce perfect on its side. It's got two side pouches,
just hot crispy tortill chips. And what I'm thinking is
you just put the Fiesta lobster on the saddle like

(18:05):
a little cowboy, have a little wearing a cowboy hat,
and it the lobster. Fiesta rides the Fiesta donkey into
your hearts and onto your tables.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh my god, I'll be I'll be honest with you, Scottie.
You have if you've ever pitched me Fiesta donkey, I
have forgotten completely about it, because I am thrilled to
the to the to my bodes about Fiesta donkey. If
you will do it, Oh my god, it's great, that's
what you want. And you look into the restaurant and

(18:36):
it's just all donkeys are already at the table. You
said that donkeys are ready to go.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah, they bring your waters and then they sit your
Fiesta donkey and the millier table. The hat has salt
for your margarita, so you can just as a little
squerreo on it.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Of course it does stupid it didn't.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
I mean Sharks, I'm looking for one million dollars for
two percent equity and Fiesta donkey. Yeah. I think this
is one hundred million dollar company right out of the gate.
Put a little Fiesta lobster on it or lobster Fiesta.
I mean, that is so good.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
Is there a way? Is there a way we could see?
Fabrication is always such an interesting industry to me, because
like that is something where my brain goes. I have
no idea in my mind how you would fabricate the
Fiesta donkey, but it could. It could be done, right,
it has to be able to be done. But I

(19:27):
don't know who to even approach to be like, can
you make a prototype of our Fiesta donkey? And how
much would that cost? Would that cost twenty thousand dollars
or would that cost one thousand dollars?

Speaker 3 (19:37):
I mean, I think it's a garage at I think
this is like Microsoft, this is like Apple Computers. I
think you got to get out in the garage. You
got to go to Joey and Fabrics before it goes
out of business. Yeah, I think that somebody's going to
have to start tinkering, and it might just be me.
My passion for partying might lead me to create a
really good like tech pack starter thing. Yeah, of a

(20:01):
Fiesta donkey.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Oh maybe you could. You might be able to I
don't know how big those three D printers are, but
you might be able to three D print the body
of it. Yeah, I want to. I just I kind
of want to make it. I would. That would be amazing.
It would be the best merch ever to have Fiesta donkeys.
They would be incredibly expensive.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
One hundred dollars a donkey, but then you could say
I have I mean, we could put a little Banana's
Hawaiian shirt on the Festa donkey just to set it off.
But yeah, it's just so it's a perfect party magnifier.
And really, if somebody here years ago, somebody reached out
and said they were like an imagineer and they helped
design stuff at Disney. So if you still listen to

(20:44):
the podcast, let's talk Fiesta donkeys, let's at least make
fix one.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Let's at least make one. I would just like it
to exist in the world, to have one meal with it.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
If you think you're the kind of person that can design,
I don't know, like a twenty one inch maybe maybe
sixteen inch tall donkey. That's just the ultimate snacking party animal.
Please let us know reach out. We will. We're very serious.
We love Yes.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
Look, TJI Fridays is dead, Okay. TGI Fridays used to
be the place. Yep, we can make a new version
of TJI Fridays. Does Caliente Cab Company want to have
a fiesta donkey? They could take over the market, is
what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
Make a corner of the market, and that's fine. We
will sell out immediately once we get one in action,
once we get Mark Cuban on board, we will sell
out immediately. Here's another one. This is from Jacqueline G.
Thank you Jacqueline G. She wants to know do mermaids

(21:47):
primarily communicate via American sign language or any sign language?
They're an international species. You know, those wet folks cannot
speak or hear each other underwater.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Mermaids.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Do you think mermaids only communicate with sign language? Is
jacquelinees No.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
We have proof of this the movie Splash. Yeah, I
see it with Darryl Hannah. It's a horrible voice that
sounds like a dolphin dying. That's how mermaids talk.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
That's true, but I don't know. I mean, your voice
carries underwater, Kurt. You can hear Kurt's voice underwater. We've
had been animals not only say they take baths and
they go underwater and they can still understand Kurt. But
we've had people say since we've said that that it
is true that they tested it. So Kurt's voice carries underwater.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
Wait, yours doesn't, though.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
No, mine just sounds like a tug boat going overneath
their heads.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Oh that's interesting. My voice is higher, so it's got
like lessa. It doesn't have such a big sigin wave,
so it doesn't get interrupted by the water. I like that.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Mermaids. I mean, it's cool to think that mermaids do
have their own sign language. I'm sure they're signing something
to each other. So sure they're using their tail fins
in some way, just like whales to communicate things.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
I think they're clicking. I think it's mostly clicks.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
And just how horny were these sailors. Yeah, they were
just looking in that ocean, seeing.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
A narwall and being like, I want a bucket.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Yeah, at best they saw dolphin. At very best, most
likely amanatee, and they had just been so starved for
that that special touch that they were like, that's the
most beautiful house I've ever seen. Oh, I wish. I'm

(23:42):
actually surprised as they're a good scary movie about mermaids.
That seems like a very there must be a cheap
sci fi channel movie version.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Oh look at them.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
It should be scary. They should. Mermaid should go the
way of vampires, and there should be a twilight for mermaids,
is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
It's just difficult to film underwater. But you know what
you like, just like all the any good vampire thing,
you put a twist on it, right so they can
like just walk onto land and like dry off their
legs and walk and then they just like jump back
in and swim away, you know, like that sort of thing.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
There was for years spoilers did it come out. There
was for years of Splash reboot with Chris Hemsworth and
Rebel Wilson where it was flipped he was gonna be
a merman and Rebel found Chris Hemsworth as a merman.
Same movie, just it's God Splash. They were going to
do a reboot with Chris Hemsworth as a merman and
Rebel Wilson likes character.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
I know that would have been great.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
The number of movies that I hear about, like cause
sometimes I'll pitch something to a producer or studio and
they'll be like, oh, there's something in development for that
there was and then nothing ever and then I don't
hear about it. Also, like the night before Thanksgiving in
the United States, a lot of people go home visit
their parents or families, and then the night before Thanksgiving

(24:59):
they go part with people they used to go to
high school with. Yes, and some people call it Hell Night.
Some people there's a lot of different things.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Thought hell Night was right before Halloween.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
I think that exists too, the night before Halloween.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah, yeah, Devil's Night.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
We used to call it. Uh. But there's like a
lot of And there was a comedy in development with
some big names attached, like a Game Night type of comedy,
but then they didn't sell it because they were like,
Thanksgiving is only an American holiday, and this tradition of
the night before won't play in China, won't play in Brazil,

(25:34):
won't play in India. And I'm like, certainly a party
movie will play everywhere and killed it. But I think
like big people were attached to it.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Because people know about Thanksgiving. I feel like it's like.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
It's like they know about high school reunions everywhere. Everybody
knows to go back to your hometown and you finally
have sex with the person that was four years older
than you. She was the hottest senior and you were
the nerdy freshman and you're cool. Like there's it's super bad.
And when that one died, I was like, Oh, comedy
movies are truly dead.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
They're dead now. It's so it's such a bummer. And
also when I see one that sneaks by, and they
usually sneak by as rom coms, and when I see one.
I tried to watch that new one with Will Ferrell,
and I just shut it off after the first five
minutes because I couldn't deal with the dialogue. The dialogue
was so cheesy. It was.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Oh, I got stories, man, it's I I rewrote act
one of Ferdinand the Bull animated movie fernand the Bull. Yeah,
I got the job. I was on another TV show
almost in and at it, and I got a call
because my buddy was gonna maybe be the voice of Ferdinand.
They're like, hey, let's do act one in his voice,

(26:48):
I said sure. By the time I drove home, they
sent me the pages. They were like, here, just rewrite this,
rite alternative right, al alternative jokes for everything. So sure,
and they were gonna pay me pretty good amount of money.
So I was excited. Did by the time I got home,
so maybe like a twenty five minute drive, they already
had called once and emailed once saying can we see pages?
Like yeah, So before I could even get to my

(27:10):
computer leaving a job, I was like, yeah, I'll take
a look at it tonight. Within thirty minutes, let's say,
they were like, hey, yeah, we were just wondering if
you could send us like the first five pages. I
was like, oh, I'm sitting down to it right now.
They're like great, we're just standing by for those, huh.
And so they kept checking in every fifteen minutes for
two days, like they would start checking in at seven am.

(27:33):
And so I rewrote twenty five pages in two days
and then got paid. And that my friend didn't get
the part. And I never heard another thing.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
That is so crazy. Yeah, that's so crazy, and that
that that that that matches like the your Pokemon rewrite
thing too. Pokemon, just like people are just waiting in
a room for you.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Just me and Bo burn them. But I Bo didn't
know I was there, but I knew BO was in
the other room and we were writing the same scene.
And then they just took what they liked from his
and took what like mine and smashed into one scene
which you can feel because mine is a certain tone
and BO has a certain tone. And yeah, and when
I readd Sonic, I rewrote all the Sonic the Hedgehog lines.

(28:19):
I at least wrote alts, so they were all recorded
in two days, every single thing Sonic said. But also
shout out to Josh Miller and Pat They are great writers.
They wrote the movie. I'm not trying to take anything
from them at all. But I sat in the room
by myself with a sixty inch TV screen and the
final draft script and wrote two joke lines for every

(28:40):
single line of dialogue for Sonic. And then the director
is like thanks man, and then I never heard anything
ever again I got paid.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Do you know if any of them got in?

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Yeah? Some did, actually, yeah quite a few did. But yeah, no,
Josh Patter, great dudes. They deserved all the credit for it.
But it was an interesting thing to like really work,
and then nobody's even like so funny or great you
know or yea, I love to have you back. It
was just like you did your job, get get out,
and you're.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Like, okay, thank you, I will bye bye.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
Thank you for putting me inside your room and feeding
me lunch for two days. I'll never forget that PRISTROMI sandwich,
give me a way. Steed has a good one. This
is more just like advice question, I think, Catherine from
Raleigh says Banana Boys. I recently started learning how to
bend glass to make neon signs. Oh wow, pretty good?

(29:35):
WHOA Okay, still in the beginning stages, and I need
a problems from.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
The beginning stages of that. Just a pile of broken glass.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Yeah, burnt hand, no eyebrows, just high as a kite
from inhaling neon. I'm still in the beginning stages, but
I need a project to work on. Words are very
difficult and beyond my current capabilities, but I can handle
fair simple shapes right now, like I recently did a shark,
which sounds pretty good. That would have been a good

(30:05):
one to recommend. Wow, uh, but any ideas for what
my next neon sign should be. Thank you Katherine from Raleigh,
Thank you Katherine from Leigh. First of all, coolest hobby
I've ever heard in my life, and if it's going
to be a career also so cool.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah. My first thought is a rainbow cat's butthole. That's
my first thought, first thought, best thoughts, So I'm gonna
say it, you know, like the classic Kurt Vonneget cat's
buttthole where it's just like straight line down, straight line
across then to a smaller X in the middle.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
From Breakfast of Champions, I think, or whatever. Yeah, so Katherine,
if you don't know, we're talking about in two or
multiple Kurt Vroonicut books, but I think it was first
and Breakfast.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
I think it's Breakfast Champions.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
He would draw what a cat's buttthole look like, and
it kind of looked like a more complicated asterisk a longer.
So when you learn to do lettering, you can put
so it goes underneath and then it'll be the perfect
Kurt von Nugut companion piece.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
So great.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
I like see as a as a capitalist, as a
as an entrepreneur doing things like Fiesta donkey. Yeah, right,
with a lopster.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
I mean a lot of people talk about you and
the first word out of their mouth is entrepreneur, capitalist.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
True. Uh so, I think you should do a really
cool faucet with a really cool drop coming out of
the faucet, A classic, right, classic? I love that, and
then go sell it to a local plumber, or go
sell it to a local bar, or go sell it

(31:48):
to a local water company, because as water becomes, like
in La, we just have water companies all over the
place where you buy bottled water. So prack it seems
like a fairly easy shape eight looking fawcet ye with
a drop coming out. That would be my guess.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
That's great or just or just a beer bottle or
like an alcohol bottle shape with if I don't know
if three x's are possible in the middle, you know,
I guess that would be a different piece. But that's
that would be a classic, you know, rum bottle with xxx.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Ooh, you could sell that to any local bar. That
would be a fun one. I like that one. That's
our advice for that one. Okay, here's a fun one
from Fallen Harrington, and gosh, don't we just uh love
that Fallon Harrington? That is a great name.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Fallin f A L l O N F A l
O N amazing.

Speaker 3 (32:49):
I believe it Fallon might be an Australian ban animal.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Okay, that would make sense because I've never heard Fallon
is a first name in a.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
Possibly fallen If you're not my apologies, I'm not a
super weirdo, I swear, but I have a would you rather?
Would you see? Yeah, we will be the judge of that.
Would you rather? Every time you throw up get sick
from drinking stomach flu, you name it your puke gun? Okay?

(33:18):
When it comes out, it is either accompanied by the
Seinfeld theme song or the Friend's theme song on volume
full ten blast, even when you're dry heaving. Great, that's it,
that's great. I would you rather have the Seinfeld theme
song while you're bar fin or the Friend's theme song
while you're bar fin?

Speaker 1 (33:39):
So the so the because for me Seinfeld I can
just hear the bass riff of in between scenes.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah, that's all it was.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
That's all it was. That seems funnier to me than
sign than friends.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Yeah. The only thing about the Friends Them song is
the clap. It would be fun to in between your
first clap to go.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Uh huh, yeah, yeah, I hear that.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
Also, the first lyric is so no one told you
life was going to be this way, you're just barfing.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Also, what I don't understand too is does the song
play out of your own mouth or does it just
kind of play in the in the universe, in the
world that you're in.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
You know, if everybody can hear it, I would go Seinfeld. Also,
I'm pretty lucky. I don't throw up that often meany there. Yeah,
I really have to be actual sick like flu. I
don't throw up from drinking, and if I have food poisoning,
it's it's pretty rare too, So I'm gonna go Seinfeld. Also,
even though I think I'll be there for you while

(34:44):
you're really going hard is very funny and the clap
is very funny, and found says follow up, if you
had to pick one throw up soundtrack song, what would
it be? Oh?

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Okay? Also, it would it because of the rarity of
throwing up, I think this question is better done for
the opposite of throwing up for the old the d
for the old do rio uh, that would be very

(35:17):
funny because of bathroom and then you go into the
public bathrooms like boom, but don't boom boom.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Again because then there's a lot of strangers. Bathrooms have
a soundtrack going on, play Highway to the danger Zone
the whole time in every public bathroom in America, and
people be having such a great time.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Amount of times you walk into a bathroom like a
costco or something is just dead. Silence is insane. There
should be loud noises happen at like broadcast into every bathroom.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Know that there are greatest hits CDs of one man bands,
self recorded guys with kazoos and bells and triangles, and
just play that. Just give everybody the privacy they deserve.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
I imagine it would be fun if it was the intro
to She's a Runaway by bon Jovi, and then when
it goes but that's when you vomit, so you're feeling
nauseous and it's yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
I think Neil Diamonds were coming to America would be mine.
If we were around the world, we're coming to America today,
that would be mine.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
I think that great question is a really delightful question.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
What's that, Selene Denswer, I'm your lady. That would also
be really funny to me because I'm your lame and
I'm just vomiting, so you are don't impress me. What
should I have? Twains that don't impress me much while
you're just getting really sick, so you're a brad pitt.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
What about baby elephant Walk, Henry Mancini's baby Elephant Walk?

Speaker 3 (37:16):
You know, I'm a huge fan of that. That was
panic in pitches when Kurt and I would pitch TV
shows and movies together, if we both would promise each other,
if we ever got stuck and just had a brain
fart and couldn't remember what came next to the pitch,
I would just start doing. Kurt would start dancing just

(37:37):
like arms in the air, like thumbs in his arm pits,
arms out like wings, and just strutting around just to
be like, these guys are fun and funny. We never
had to do that. We were always well prepared. We
did wave pitching together, and maybe one day, if television
ever comes back, we'll pitch again.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
If it ever exists again, all right, send us home one, Scottie.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Here's one that actually seems like real advice. Audrey. I'm
not going to say your last name, but Audrey, this
is for you. I have a request of advice. My
oldest son is twenty three and he still lives with us.
He's a fantastic kid. He goes to community college. He
works summer jobs as a house painter, which is a
great job. Yeah, and he helps her out around the house.

(38:21):
He's a lot of fun. He even pays monthly rent.
But he's twenty three and he seems to have little
interest in moving out. How the heck do we get
this twenty three year old son to move out?

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Kurt just constantly walking into his room without knocking. That's
how you do it. Just constant invasion of privacy. That's
the easiest, simplest way to do it.

Speaker 3 (38:46):
Yeah, that's true. There was a years ago, twenty year
old joke. Judifried Lander had the joke that it was like,
you think your mom walking into your well into your
room while you're masturbating is the worst thing that can
happen to you, But the actual worst thing can happen
to you is when she walks in two rooms for
the second time that day and catches you masturbating again.

(39:07):
That is college level joke, and it is so funny.
The first time you said that, I just like fell
out of my chair the second time she walked. Yeah,
so bombarding him. You know this is interesting When we
had Lauri kil Martin and we talked about this too.
We've talked about this with a lot of our guests
who have teenage kids. Yeah, that they don't want to
get their driver's licenses. They just happy to be driven around. Yeah,

(39:29):
and where you and I just could not wait to
drive to Freedom and just make trouble and go, honestly,
go buy French fries with our friends.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
It yes, incredible, exactly, and they go make make make
a drink at the taco bell that had all the
flavors in it.

Speaker 3 (39:46):
I guess my real ish advice would be divert the
money he pays to you and rent into an apartment
without him knowing, one bedroom, simple a studio apartment nearby
in a nice building, and slowly start moving one item
over a day until he notices. And when he goes,

(40:06):
hey have you seen my guitar? Hey have you seen
my whatever? My overhauls he's a painter who knows maybe
he's in the band Dexy's Midnight Runners. Ye go, yeah,
I have here. Let me show you and then put
him in your car and drive him over to and
already moved into semi moved into apartment, and buy him
a new bed. I always feel like, if there's a

(40:28):
nice get this kid. He's twenty three, get this kid
a queen. He doesn't need a king yet, he hasn't
a king status.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
No he's not.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
Get him. I mean, if you have to get him
a double do it. Get a bed, an actual bed frame,
so that if he ever has somebody come over, they go,
oh cool is mattress and box spring arno on the floor.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
This is amazing, This is an amazing man.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
I'm going to marry this adult man. So yes, I
would divert the rent he's paying into a nice apartment
nearby that you have a hunch he's gonna like, and
then one item a day, just move it in there
until he notices, and then he's already he's already halfway there.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
He's already there. And folks, that is a bonus.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
Sod.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
That's our advice, that's our answers to your questions, and
those are your stories. Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you to everyone, and exactly right. Thank you to
Lisa Maggot, Thank you to Katie Levine. Thank you to you,
Scottie Landis.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Thank you to you, Kurt Brown Oler. We love you guys.
Keep your heads up, keep moving forward. Bananas Bananas just
a passionate roller skate dancer. Bananas is an exactly right

(41:45):
media production. Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The
catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hertstart.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
And Lisa get As our full human not a robot
intern

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Mhm
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Host

  Scotty Landes

Scotty Landes

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