Pillow Talks
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Episodes
April 24, 2025 • 57 mins
We’re back this week with another coaching episode — where we listen to real voice notes from real listeners who are navigating some seriously relatable challenges.
From craving more pleasure but not knowing how to ask for it… to dealing with desire differences after kids and trying to orgasm for the first time (yes, ever) — we’re holding space for your stories.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:
“Is this it?”
“Why don’t...
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April 17, 2025 • 55 mins
If you’ve ever joked about “peeing just a little” when you sneeze, or you’re the kind of person who always has to know where the bathroom is, this one’s for you.
Vanessa is sharing her personal (and super vulnerable) journey with bladder issues: how it started, the surprising symptoms, the anxiety it caused, and the expert-backed tools and tricks that actually helped.
We asked our community if they’ve experienced bladder problems...
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April 10, 2025 • 69 mins
Is it cheating if you go to sex club… but just to watch?
What about a flirty Snapchat streak with your ex?
A prostate massage with no orgasm? 👀
This week, we’re back with Part 2 of one of our most talked-about episodes. We asked our community to share the moments, confessions, and curveballs that made them ask, “Wait…is this cheating?”
And let’s just say… the gray areas are graying HARD.
Here’s what we’re dishing on in this e...
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April 3, 2025 • 54 mins
We’ve all had that moment — your partner brings something up, and suddenly you’re snapping back with a list of everything they did wrong. But wait… is that defensiveness, or are you just defending yourself?
This week, we’re diving into one of the trickiest relationship dynamics out there: defensiveness. And we’re not just talking about it — we’re unpacking real, raw stories straight from you.
From sex drive mismatches to mental l...
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🎙️ Welcome to our very first coaching episode!
Ever feel stuck in your sex life — like you know things could be better but have no idea how to fix them? That’s exactly where today’s couple is.
In this special, brand-new format, we’re coaching a real life couple, and diving deep into mismatched desire, stress, and the invisible walls keeping them from a more connected, fulfilling sex life.
We break down:
💬 When one partner feel...
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March 20, 2025 • 74 mins
🎉 We made it to 200 episodes! 🎉
It’s wild to think about how far this podcast has come. There’s one thing we know for sure… we couldn’t have come this far without YOU. That’s why for this very special episode, we decided to celebrate by letting you ask us…
…absolutely ANYTHING.
And you didn’t disappoint.
From personal confessions to relationship deep dives to behind-the-scenes business secrets, no topic was off-limits.
Tune ...
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March 13, 2025 • 61 mins
We’re back with a fan-favorite series—Am I The Asshole? 🎉 You know we love diving into the wildest relationship dilemmas, and today’s lineup is extra spicy.
We’re tackling situations that might hit way too close to home, like:
🚨 Masturbating - do you have to tell your partner every time?
🚨 Journaling about a past relationship—cheating or harmless?
🚨 Going through a partner’s phone (they found what?? 👀)
🚨 A partner picking u...
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March 6, 2025 • 54 mins
Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… for most couples, it’s anything but smooth.
Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help!
We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship.
That means a lot of us...
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February 27, 2025 • 64 mins
Ever wish you had a sex therapist on speed dial? We get so many questions every week (because you guys are THE BEST) that we just can’t get to them all—so today, we’re dedicating an entire episode to answering your biggest intimacy and relationship dilemmas.
From navigating mismatched libidos to handling awkward bedroom moments, we’re here to break it all down with practical, shame-free advice.
In This Episode, We Cover:
💬 How ...
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February 20, 2025 • 60 mins
🔥 Let’s talk about sex—but let’s make it fun, flirty, and way less awkward. In this episode, we’re telling you about 90 spicy prompts designed to get you talking, laughing, and maybe even blushing with your partner.
We’ll be pulling cards from our brand-spankin-new Sex Talks Card Deck and answering them live, sharing our hottest takes, and reading some intriguing responses from our Instagram community.
Some of these questions wi...
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February 13, 2025 • 66 mins
Cowgirl is one of the most empowering positions in the bedroom—so why do so many of us avoid it? 🤠 If you’ve ever felt awkward, unsure, or just plain tired when trying Cowgirl, this episode is for you!
We’re breaking down everything you need to know to master this position with confidence—from why it’s one of the best for pleasure to how to move in a way that feels amazing (and doesn’t leave your thighs burning after 30 seconds)....
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February 6, 2025 • 73 mins
Have you ever wondered if there’s something you do in the bedroom that your partner secretly (or not-so-secretly) wishes you’d stop doing? Well, you’re not alone.
A while back, we asked our audience this very question, and the responses came flooding in. So many, in fact, that we had to bring this topic back for Part 2!
In today’s episode, we’re diving into the most common complaints from partners about what they wish their signi...
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January 30, 2025 • 68 mins
Ever wonder what we really want to say when someone leaves a spicy comment on one of our social media posts? Well, you’re in for a treat.
Social media has been an incredible way to connect with our community, share free resources, and help couples build their best relationships. But putting ourselves out there also means we encounter some… interesting feedback.
In this episode, we’re diving into the comment sections of our most v...
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January 23, 2025 • 51 mins
We’re diving into part 4 of one of our favorite series, “Is This Normal?”
We’ll be exploring topics like: Is it normal for my husband to have absolutely no sex drive? Is it normal to never have fought? Is it normal for my partner to talk in a baby voice and for it to turn me off? And even more of your questions!
This episode is packed with real talk, judgment-free advice, and practical tips to help you navigate these tricky (and ...
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January 16, 2025 • 67 mins
If you were raised in Purity Culture, you already know how challenging it can be to overcome now that you’re an adult. You spent years being taught that it’s important for you to be wholesome, that pleasure is sinful, and that there are very specific rules you need to follow.
In this episode, we’re sharing stories from people who were raised in Purity Culture, and giving you step-by-step tips for overcoming shame.
Links and Reso...
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January 9, 2025 • 56 mins
Have you ever wanted something from your partner, but found yourself wondering, “Am I asking too much?” Or has your partner ever asked you for something that didn’t feel reasonable to you?
We asked our community to share some of their questionable relationship requests, and the responses were fascinating! Tune in as we break down the line between what’s reasonable, what’s ridiculous, and what’s simply part of being in a relationsh...
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January 2, 2025 • 53 mins
It’s officially 2025 and you might be feeling like your relationship could use a fresh start.
We asked our Instagram audience if they’ve ever wished for a fresh start in their relationship—and the responses came pouring in! We’re reading through your submissions, sharing our thoughts, and offering practical advice for anyone looking to refresh their connection with their partner.
Whether you’re dealing with intimacy, post-pregnancy...
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December 26, 2024 • 46 mins
We were feeling inspired… The Ultimatum is back on Netflix, and it was wild. It left us wondering if our own audience has ever given (or been given) a relationship ultimatum, so we asked!
In this episode, we’re breaking down your ultimatums and sharing our opinions and advice. If you’ve ever considered giving an ultimatum - or if you’re just curious about the ones other people have issued - this is a must-listen!
Links & Resources:...
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December 19, 2024 • 68 mins
Tis the Season for DRAMA!
We’re so excited to bring you another hilarious “Am I The Asshole?” episode this week. In the theme of the season, we’re doing another holiday edition.
We’re talking about affairs, secret Santa mishaps, and a disastrous salmon situation. Get ready to grab your coziest blanket and cup of cocoa for this new episode of one of our favorite series!
Links & Resources:
Join our VIP email list
Follow us on Instag...
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December 12, 2024 • 59 mins
There are a ton of topics we want to cover on this podcast, but sometimes we just don’t have enough material to make a full hour-long episode for each one. So we’re trying something new to give you our hottest takes and tips… a multi-topic episode!
Today we’re talking about being non-hetero in a male-female relationship, period sex, and internal versus external processors. Think of this episode like a podcast tossed salad and get r...
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