The Morning After’s Audio Dump Podcast

This morning on The Morning After with Matt and Adam, England wants to bring an end to ‘dry stroking,’ a poker player tried to use a butt plug as a card protector, Teagan joined us for Unqualified Love Advice, less car break-ins in Oakland means less work for glass repair businesses, our MVP lost her job after stealing a New York Knicks trash can, a delivery robot invaded a SWAT standoff, and a woman is being called bot...

This morning on The Morning After with Matt and Adam, a Lincoln Park man mooned his neighbor’s doorbell camera, a conference on extreme heat has been canceled by extreme heat, a man destroyed a driver’s test computer with a landline phone on Florida/Not Florida, a man was arrested for masturbating on his front porch, our MVP was recently sentenced (in 2026) for burning CDs, a woman says eating Wingstop chicken wings sen...

This morning on The Morning After with Matt and Adam, a California man got stuck in a campground toilet after trying to retrieve his sunglasses, massage guns aren’t supposed to be used on your eyes, a firefighter pooped in a box on Florida/Not Florida, another couple had a bag filled with drugs labeled ‘Not a Bag Full of Drugs,’ our MVP got a ticket, called 911 to argue a ticket, and then got arrested for having d...

This morning on The Morning After with Matt and Chad, there’s a ‘cartel’ in Japan jacking up the price of ice cream, ‘goblintimacy’ is a new dating term, a woman claimed the pants she was wearing weren’t hers on Florida/Not Florida, a bag made of ’T-Rex skin’ is going up for auction, our MVPs shot at a police drone, and we wrapped up the week with a few Things We Missed.

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This morning on The Morning After with Matt and Richard Eats, a pair of sisters stabbed a restaurant employee on ‘Why you mad, bro?,’ pickle is the spice of the summer, a man threatened people with a stick on Florida/Not Florida, we had an update on the Dan Sullivan controversy, our MVP got a ride in a stole truck to an appointment with his probation officer, a woman cooked her 8-year old son a boob cake, and there&rsqu...

This morning on The Morning After, a blogger was arrested for sending a naked picture of Shrek pleasuring himself to a politician, a sex cruise just set sail from England, Teagan joined us for Unqualified Love Advice, a man hit a bear while riding his bicycle, our MVP is known as the Banana Chip Bandit, police are looking for a man that set bras on fire at Walmart, and Lucha Libro is coming to libraries across the country.

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This morning on The Morning After, a man stole a car and then stole French fries from a kid, people keep pooping in one of New Zealand’s ferneries, a man with a small penis was caught peeing in the Walmart parking lot on Florida/Not Florida, there’s a beaver hunt underway in Canada, our MVP tried to steal clothes en route to a court appearance for burglary, a pilot flew for nearly twenty years with the wrong license, an...

This morning on The Morning After, a man tried to run from police was attacked by an alligator, someone keeps stealing the MILF magnet at the Vagina Museum, someone was hit with an ukulele on Florida/Not Florida, we now know how many farts we should have on average, our MVP threatened to cut off his roommates genitals before taking off all his clothes and sitting at a bus stop, Dan Sullivan is running for Senate against Dan Sulliva...

This morning on The Morning After, Grady Judd gave us another classic soundbite, Video Jimmy from the Great Lakes Loons joined us to play Florida/Not Florida, we told you about a new TikTok Trend that has people putting pickles in white wine, our MVP stole lawn gnomes while riding a tricycle, a woman’s home is losing value quickly after her new neighbors built a 10-foot tall poop wall on their side of the property, and the gi...

This morning on The Morning After, a woman assaulted a family member after being confronted about sending all of her money to a fake Liam Neeson, a woman put her dogs ashes in her eyeliner tattoos, we played cribbage on Missed Connections, a man used a Waymo as a getaway car in California, our MVP pretended to be a 12-year old girl, a camper dumped his RV’s tank into a gas station’s diesel tank, and we wrapped up the we...

This morning on The Morning After, we introduced you to spermmaxxing, a woman is suing Outback Steakhouse after slipping on mashed potatoes, Teagan joined us for Unqualified Love Advice, a fight broke out at a kindergarten graduation, our MVP told police she didn’t even remember having kids, and a volunteer firefighter started setting fires to fight.

00:13 - Spermmaxxing
07:55 - Woman suing Outback after slipping on potato...

This morning on The Morning After, a police officer pulled his gun on a colleague on ‘Why you mad, bro?,’ scientists created bread made from yeast found inside the stomach of Oetzi the Iceman, someone thought a leaf blower was a bazooka on Florida/Not Florida, we had an update on the woman that stole a Stanley for her breast milk, our MVP named his bluetooth speaker BOMB and took it on an airplane, a town in New York do...

This morning on The Morning After, a man took his girlfriend’s daughter with him to steal copper wire, a Texas softball player has a superstition that involves eating ladybugs, there was a fight at a Pokemon vending machine on Florida/Not Florida, over 3,000 classic cars helped set a world record, our MVP curb stomped an employee that gave away his girlfriend’s order, a family found a stranger in their father’s ca...

This morning on The Morning After, an influencer has been banned from all Six Flags parks after eating chicken nuggets on Millennium Force, Video Jimmy from the Great Lakes Loons joined us to play Florida/Not Florida, the word ‘school’ was misspelled on one school’s yearbooks, our MVP called 911 after the bar wouldn’t sell her Jello shots, a woman took her drugs to the police station, and robots are being at...

This morning on The Morning After, a man got punched in the park on ‘Why You Mad, Bro?,’ the bull balls on a mosaic had to be refurbished, we had a softball crush on Missed Connections, a corpse fell out of the bottom of a casket, our MVP destroyed his house after his wife told him their marriage was over, Brad Pitt is in a fight with a high-end penis cream, and we wrapped up the week with a few Things We Missed.

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This morning on The Morning After, we talked about ‘Emotional Boners,’ cosplayers were selling ‘feet juice’ outside of a convention in California, Makenzie Rose Boyd joined us for Totally Qualified Tattoo Advice, a man broke into a home and smeared his feces all over the floor and walls, attorney Jason Gower joined us to answer your legal questions, and a man has set a Guinness World Record with his paper cu...

This morning on The Morning After, King Crimson’s Robert Fripp wants to know why his balls were shaved for a heart procedure, we had an update on the woman that hid a wine bottle in her vagina, a drunk man stole a police car on Florida/Not Florida, a man punched a wedding official after he didn’t agree with the cost he charged, our MVP thought a chiropractor’s sign was promoting an illegal business, and a man wore...

This morning on The Morning After, a man in Florida thinks he has the right to flash his neighbors, another ‘dead body’ was just a discarded sex doll, a woman shot a fellow driver with wasp spray on Florida/Not Florida, a mermaid is out of a job in Iowa, our MVP trashed his local pickleball courts following an injury, a dog got its’ paws on a loaded shotgun, and a man essentially called the cops on himself.

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This morning on The Morning After, a woman is accused of throwing feces at her father, the ‘Oatmeal Creme Pie Bandit’ was confronted by the baker of those oatmeal creme pies, we had some ‘red light fun’ on Missed Connections, a gaming granny got swatted during a livestream, our MVP got stuck in a wall during a burglary, we had an update on the woman accused of urinating on items inside an AirBNB in Florida, ...