The Redeemed Marriage Podcast

What happens when you're committed to your marriage, but you just don't feel that attraction anymore? Maybe you've been hurt by betrayal. Maybe you've slowly drifted apart over the years. Or maybe life has just changed, and the feelings you once had seem to be gone.

In this episode, we're talking about something that a lot of couples struggle with but don't always want to admit. What do you do when the spark is gone? Can those feel...

This week, we're talking about one of the most difficult parts of healing after betrayal: learning to forgive yourself. A question we recently received from a listener reminded us just how many people struggle with the guilt and shame of their past decisions.

We know firsthand how easy it is to get stuck in the mistakes of our past and allow guilt and shame to keep us from moving forward. But how do we begin to forgive ourselves wh...

We’re back from an incredible week in Montana where we had the opportunity to spend time with four couples at our Redeemed Marriage retreat. And once again, we were reminded of something we see all the time in marriage: so many couples are struggling with things they believe no one else would understand.

It’s easy to look around and assume everyone else is doing better than you are. So we keep things hidden. We put on a...

We’re back with Part 2 of our 30 Years, 30 Lessons series, sharing more of the things three decades of marriage have taught us along the way.

Just like last week, these aren’t perfectly packaged marriage principles. They’re lessons we’ve learned by actually living them, and some of them we definitely learned the hard way. We talk about admitting when you’re wrong, why adding “but” to an apo...

After 30 years of marriage, we’ve learned a few things along the way—some the easy way and plenty the hard way.

In this first episode of a two-part series, we’re sharing 30 lessons from our 30 years of marriage. We talk about expectations, why keeping score never works, learning to accept the ways your spouse is different from you, the importance of our words and affection, and why being right isn’t nearly a...

How long should you keep talking about a betrayal after it’s over? At some point, are you supposed to stop bringing it up and move on?

In this episode, we talk about something we’re still learning 15 years into our own story. For the betrayed spouse, the memories and pain of betrayal don’t just disappear. Sometimes talking about it isn’t about trying to punish your spouse or make them fix something. It&rsquo...

College football is back—and if you know us, you know that’s a pretty big deal in our house! But what happens when the thing you love isn’t something your spouse cares about at all?

This week, we’re talking about how to handle different interests in marriage. Whether it’s football, hunting, golf, shopping, TV shows, travel, or something else, we don’t have to love all the same things to have a gr...

There are three dates we talk about often in our story: August 23, when Heather confessed. August 26, when everything became public. And September 2, when something finally changed inside of her.

In this episode, we talk about those ten days between confession and what we now recognize as true brokenness. What does it actually mean to be broken over your sin? How is that different f...

August 23, 2011, is a date we will never forget.

It was the night Heather confessed her affair, and in a matter of moments, everything about our marriage and our future seemed to change. For years afterward, August 23 carried a weight of its own. As the date approached, the memories would come back: the conversation, the shock, the pain, and the days that followed.

But today, 15 years later, August 23 doesn't feel the same.

In this...

As we get closer to the 15th anniversary of Heather’s confession, we’ve been thinking about a question we’re not sure we’ve ever really talked about before:

What would our marriage look like today if the affair had never happened?

It’s a strange question, because obviously we would never wish for the pain, betrayal, and brokenness that came with that season. But we also know what God has done in our ma...

Can You Affair-Proof Your Marriage?

Is it actually possible to affair-proof your marriage?

We know better than most that no marriage is completely immune to temptation or failure. After all, Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world and still found a way to mess things up. But we also believe there are things we can do to protect our marriages and make it much harder for the enemy to gain a foothold.

In this episode, we talk about some...

This week we're sharing one of the most meaningful nights of our lives.

As we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary, we got a surprise when we walked into a room filled with the people God has used to help write our story. Some were there on our wedding day. Others came into our lives after Heather's affair fifteen years ago. All of them have played a part in reminding us that redemption was never something we were meant to walk ...

This week marks our 30th wedding anniversary, and as we look back, we realize something that still amazes us: we've now spent exactly half of our marriage before Heather's confession…and half of it after.

In this episode, we reflect on those two very different seasons of our marriage and why the last 15 years have been so different from the first. We talk about how our relationship changed when we stopped expecting each othe...

Last week we began a conversation about restoring intimacy after betrayal. This week we're taking it a step further by talking about one of the hardest parts of healing: the mental images, triggers, and memories that can make the marriage bed feel anything but safe.

We know this struggle because we've lived it. In this episode, we share what helped us navigate those difficult moment...

This week we’re answering a question that we’ve never addressed quite like this before, and we know it’s one that many couples quietly wrestle with after infidelity.

What happens when something that was once a normal and enjoyable part of your physical relationship suddenly becomes a reminder of betrayal? Is it possible for the marriage bed to be fully redeemed, or will certain things always feel damaged?

In this ...

This week, we're answering a question we hear often: "What exactly do you offer, and where should I start?"

Whether your marriage is in the middle of a crisis, you're rebuilding after betrayal, or you simply want to strengthen an already healthy relationship, we've tried to create resources that meet you wherever you are. In this episode, we walk through the Resource Menu currently available on our website and explain what each par...

This week in our Summer Shorts series, we're answering a listener question that took us back to one of the hardest seasons of our lives: What were some of the small things people did that made the biggest difference while we were walking through our marriage crisis?

When everything around us felt cold and uncertain, God placed "redbirds" in our path—people who simply showed up. They didn't always have the perfect words. They ...

In this week’s Summer Short, we tackle a question that comes up more often than people realize after infidelity: What do we do with the things that now carry painful memories? Wedding rings, anniversaries, favorite restaurants, vacation spots, and even everyday places can suddenly feel connected to some of the hardest moments in a marriage.

We share our thoughts on whether couples should keep their original wedding rings as a...

This week, we're continuing our Summer Shorts series by answering one of the questions we hear most often: Should we tell our children about marital struggles, broken trust, or even infidelity?

We share our own experience of walking through those conversations with our boys after Heather's affair and how those discussions changed as they grew older. When they were young, we focused on what they needed to know. As they matured, we w...