Myopia Movies
Welcome to season 11 of Myopia Movies! Each week we watch the movies from the 80s and 90s we grew up watching to address the lies that our memories and Blockbuster video told us. Do they hold up? https://myopiapodcast.com/
Episodes
This week on Myopia Movies, we continue our Erotic Thrillers month with the spiciest 27 year old high schoolers you have ever seen! We watched Wild Things, one of the most paused VHS tapes in history.
How did Wild Things hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko, Alex, and Matthew
Directed by John McNaughton Starring: Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon, Theresa Russell, Denise Richards, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Robert Wagner, Bill Murray, C...
This week we start a slew of Erotic Thrillers with the first name you think of when you think erotic and thriller, Jim Belushi. We watched Traces of Red! A trashy movie set in the swamps of Florida.
How will Traces of Red hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Jeremy, Matt
Directed by Andy Wolk Starring Jim Belushi, Lorraine Bracco, Tony Goldwyn, Jim Piddock, William Russ, Faye Grant
Hey everybody, welcome back to Myopia Movies.
This week we’re tackling an action-silly Nicolas Cage classic: Con Air. And honestly—if you’ve never seen it before, I almost want to tell you to stop and watch it first… but our discussion is good enough that you’ll survive either way.
Fair warning: this episode got chaotic. So chaotic, in fact, that our newly married editor and panelist, Nur Chernnet, had to cut nearly 15 minutes of m...
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a valuable cinematic lesson: you can be absolutely slovenly and still be the hero of a movie.
We watched Mitchell. Yes, that Joe Don Baker vehicle, where our rumpled, sweat-soaked protagonist somehow gets the girl… and then has her arrested for prostitution.
Chivalry is dead, folks. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.
Enjoy this early Christmas Present! This week on Myopia Movies, someone needs to save Christmas and we know just the corporate spokesman, know-what-I-mean? We watched Ernest Saves Christmas, Animal Control and Air Traffic Control in the same film?!?!?! Vern...
How will Ernest Saves Christmas hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Lauren and Jeremy
Directed by John R. Cherry III Starring: Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker, ...
This week on Myopia Movies, we watched the classic story where an outsider falls in love with an indigenous person and tries to protect them and their land. Ok, not Pocahontas, no, not Ferngully. Ok, not original, but valuable property that somehow earned itself a land in Disney World and now has four sequels coming out, including one this weekend. We watched Avatar, where large cat people have intercourse with trees via their pony...
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch an entire town kick around a illiterate little person for 75 minutes. We watched Eight Crazy Nights, we tried to keep it festive, but Adam Sandler giving a TBI to the protagonist after the musical number about how great the mall is, was the best we could do. Happy Hanukah!
How will Eight Crazy Nights hold up? Directed by Seth Kearsley Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Jackie Sandler, Au...This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a millennial Christmas Classic, Jingle All The Way! Bathe in the 1990s nostalgia as we visit trampling people for toys, malls, and toy stores. Also, Phil Hartman's masterclass on seducing a woman away from Arnold.
How will Jingle All The Way hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko, Nur, Candice, Matthew, and Jeremy
Directed by Brian Levant Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita W...
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn how the world became entranced with Henry Cavill and started to fall out with Zack Snyder. We watched Man of Steel home to the world's most vindictive Pa Kent and the one where Superman kills thousands in his final fight.
Happy Thanksgiving from us at Myopia and safe shopping and travels today!
How will Man of Steel hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur, Alex
Directed by Zack Snyder S...
First, take a beloved musical from the 1930s and let it age on a shelf for forty-plus years.
Second, strip out all the songs.
Third, turn it into a waking nightmare.
This week on Myopia Movies, we dove into Return to Oz! Isn’t it delightful when Creepy Kids Month syncs perfectly with a blockbuster release like Wicked: For Good? Though honestly…this movie might be memorable for...
"Like no one has ever been, like, aroused by close up magic, right? You're just like, ah, wow. That was my card. My God, where did that ball go? Who knows? Can I just pay for my, like, mozzarella sticks" - Nic This week, Myopia Movies continue Creepy Kid Movie Month with The Ring — the iconic, blue-green, early-2000s mood piece that taught us two essential truths: never trust a VHS tape without a label, and if a ho...
This week we learn who is creepier, Macaulay Culkin who murdered one and a half siblings or Elijah Wood who is convinced that his mom is reincarnated into his aunt. We watched The Good Son. Ok, so the corpse highway car accident might be the greatest thing put to film and my favorite sentence I have gotten to write.
How will the Good Son hold up?Directed by Joseph Ruben Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Elijah Wood, Wendy Crewson, Davi...
This week on Myopia Movies, we seamlessly transition from Horror into our next month based around creepy kids. We watched The Omen (1976), the movie that forever made the name Damien creepy.
How will The Omen (1976) hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Alex, Matthew, Nur
Directed by Richard Donner Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens, Patrick Troughton, Martin Benson
What happens when you do reshoots on 9/11, cast a character so embarrassed by her role she’s mistaken for a porn star, and give Tony Shalhoub a dramatic lead after turning a comedy into a thriller? You get this beautiful mess. This week on Myopia Movies, we watched Thir13en Ghosts (2001) — because apparently, hiring Matthew Lillard to fight ghosts without Scooby-Doo was the real horror.
How will Thir13en Ghosts (2001)...This week on Myopia Movies, we return to King Country and deal with rabies, domestic violence, and the used car market. We watched Cujo (1983), a reminder to why you never sleep with the handyman.
How will Cujo (1983) hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Nur
Directed by Lewis Teague Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter
The is week on Myopia Movies, we went to the Jason Voorhees-esque horror movie that started it all, we watched The Terminator. Are you Sarah Connor?
How will The Terminator hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Alex, Matt, Keiko.
Directed by James Cameron
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Rick Rossovich, Earl Boen, Dick Miller, Bill Paxton, Brian Thompson
This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate Atlanta Pride with The Birdcage! Welcome back to the show to the hairiest man that Hollywood could contain, with an added mustache! Who was the better man in drag, Nathan Lane or Robin Williams?
How does The Birdcage hold up?Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Charlie, Nur, Alex
This week on Myopia Movies, we couldn't wait any longer so we are starting our Horror Month a week early...and it may even stay on a bit longer! We watched Freddy vs Jason, to borrow a slogan from the Alien vs Predator movies as a review, "who ever wins, we, the audience, loses."
How will Freddy vs Jason hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko, Nur
Directed by Ronny Yu Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Monica Keena, ...
The week on Myopia Movies, we fight the IRA. Represented by and speaking in Celtic by Tommy Lee Jones. We watched Blown Away! Who can stop them? Only Jeff Bridges (the Dude) and the President (his dad Lloyd Bridges). You may be asking yourself, who explodes? So many people!
How will Blown Away hold up?Host: Nic
Panel: Alex, Keiko
Directed by Stephen Hopkin Starring: Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jones, Suzy Amis, Lloyd Bridges, Fores...
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