Myopia Movies

This week we check to see how good the kung fu is of the man who hunted down Freddy Krueger. We watched the masterpiece that is Enter the Dragon. If this doesn't get your blood pumping, you may already be dead. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly. 

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This week we can't get enough of a saucy Irishman. We watched The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)...the Bond movie, he stepped away from James Bond to do...or was that the Taylor of Panama....or The Matador....sorry, I was getting lost in his eyes. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly. 

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This week on Myopia Movies, Antonio Banderas plays a muslim explorer discovering Vikings...yup. We watched The 13th Warrior, based on the much better titled Michael Crichton book, The Eaters of the Dead.  This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly. 

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This week we finish our Alfred Hitchcock month with the oldest movie we have ever covered, we talk the 39 Steps, the 40th, of course, is acceptance. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly. 

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Host: Jon

Pa...

This week on Myopia Movies, we are forced to drink a pint of whiskey because of mistaken identity; if the identity was correct it would have been a quart. We watched North by Northwest. Hitch's love letter to the vastness of America. 

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew

Starring: Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint, James Mason, Jessie Royce Landis, Leo G. Carroll, Josephine Hutchinson, Philip Obe...

This week on Myopia Movies,we step onto the ledge of cinematic obsession with Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo — a film that turns love, identity, and acrophobia into an existential spiral. Jimmy Stewart plays a retired detective with a fear of heights and a talent for projection, and Kim Novak plays… well, let’s just say she plays a lot.

Is this 1958 classic still a mesmerizing masterpiece of psychological suspense, or is it just Hitchc...

This week on Myopia Movies, not even a vicious stomach virus can keep me from releasing an episode on a movie that, appropriately enough, feels like a vicious stomach virus. We watched Ultraviolet, a movie appropriately named because it should not be seen with the naked eye. How will Ultraviolet hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur

Directed by Kurt Wimmer Starring: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, Willi...

This week on Myopia Movies, it’s suddenly Seymour—and Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, Frank Oz, and one giant, man-eating plant. We dove into Little Shop of Horrors, the cult musical that made us fear dentists, question florists, and hum along while the world burns. Somebody feed me... Seymour!

This week we get alllllll creepy crawly. We watched Arachnophobia, another movie, like almost all movies, that doesn't have nearly enough John Goodman! 

“Before Eight-Legged Freaks made spiders scream-worthy and before Jeff Daniels became America’s favorite newsroom anchor, there was Arachnophobia—the movie that turned every shoe, vacuum, and rolled-up newspaper into a weapon of survival.

This week on My...

This week on Myopia Movie, we complete our worst of the previous year month with a movie that no one wanted, and no one liked, we saw Borderlands, a movie that not only lost $114 million of a $145 million budget (excluding advertising), it was delayed for three years and this was still the best they could come up with. 

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex

Directed by Eli Roth Starring: Cate Blanch...

This week we continue the Worst of the Previous Year for Oscars Month and are baffled by a stupid movie, whose book is somehow worse. We watched Argylle, the worse the script, the dumber the lie. 

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Zack

Directed by Matthew Vaughn Starring: Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Singh, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Richard E. Grant, John C...

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where this week, we watched Madame Web, Sony’s latest attempt to prove you can make a Spider-Man movie without Spider-Man—or a plot, or logic, or an audience.

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Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by S.J. Clarkson

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, ...

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the Academy Awards this week, we are covering some of the worst, weirdest, and biggest disasters of the previous year. This week we start with Francis Ford Coppola's vivid, but baffling 'Fable' Megalopolis. We're all going to the cluuuuuubbbbbb!

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Alex, Matthew, Keiko

Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

Starring: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposi...

Welcome to Myopia Movies, after that brief diversion to celebrate 500 episodes, we turned to Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I mean, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I guess American Robin Hoods don't even need to try accents...you know what? It is for the best. 

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Host: Nic

Pa...

This week on Myopia Movies, we’re celebrating a milestone—500 episodes! To honor the journey, we’re going back to a movie that came out just as we were starting and talking about the Turtles. This time, though, we are covering the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Michael Bay, which came out while we were starting. It’s awful, it’s outrageous, and surprisingly adult for what was a kids’ movie. So, for thi...

Happy Valentines Day! That means cheesy rom-coms! This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the danger of print media! We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or How to Troll Your Partner. We will talk horrible SOs, ruining basketball, and naming your penis! 

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