Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

Love is hard. Boundaries are harder. And your boyfriend’s about to cry again. This week, the Biffs dive into three emotionally chaotic conundrums: what to do when the dating drought has you questioning if marriage is even in the cards, how to end things with your boyfriend without emotionally wrecking him, and how to draw the line with your dad’s new wife without blowing up the family group chat. Stefani and Ray bring...

A psychic says dump him—so should she? This week, the Biffs dive into three very modern meltdowns, from The Independent's Dear Vix Column. trusting tarot over your own intuition, obsessing over your boyfriend’s ex (oops), and losing a friend to her walking red flag of a man. Stefani and Ray bring their signature best-friend banter and wine-fueled wisdom to the mess, offering emotionally honest (and very unlicensed) advice to the ro...

This Biffs read from R. Eric Thomas’s advice column this week. A writer’s distrust in their second husband has them questioning if they should contact the first wife to get their real story. Another writer's sister-in-law loads up her car with her own thoughts of her inheritance following their parent’s death. Finally, tensions run high when a man’s one night stand resurfaces after forty-three years, shacking up with ...

This week, the Biffs read from Natalie Bencivenga’s Ask Natalie. What’s the correct course of action when your husband’s empowered to be more controlling as a result of the presidential election? Oldest friend may not mean best friend, but should you still help plan their birthday? Pregnant, and now your abusive boyfriend wants to get married?  [Natale Verga Gavi, 2023]

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After a ten-month hiatus, your Biffs are back! Stefani and Ray hit the waves refreshed with new questions and the same banter. This week, the Biffs take on the Slate’s “How To Do It.” A girl know’s too much about a new girlfriend’s boyfriend’s past, and is chomping at the bit to tell her. A man is turned on when he finds out his boyfriend is married, and wants to look the other way. A man’s fetish for golden showers is anything but...

Stefani and Ray visit Susan Writer's column, Ask Someone Else's Mom, this week. The Biffs read about potentially rigged, by-chance encounters with former flames; an inter-familial rivalry that has two uteruses vying for first; and a long-distance open relationship without rules on track for marriage. [Patrice Grasset Vin de France Chenin Blanc, 2021]

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In this week's episode, relive some of the Biffs' favorite moments of Ill Advised. From episode 78 - How to Kidnap Us, a man's self-proclaimed stupid face is putting his wife off to sex with him. In episode 11 - God Damn It, Kourtney, her partner's weight gain has a woman questioning the future of her relationship. And from Episode 22 - Dick, Thom, & Beelzebub, a woman's lackluster sex life leaves her wondering if she can have ...

Out of the Vault: This week, the Biffs bring you an episode with unaired segments from previous recordings. From Reddit’s AITA, a father wonders if laughing at his son’s self-sabotage makes him an asshole. From Metro.co.uk, a man promises to suppress his homoseuality in exchange for shelter with his wife and their children. And from Ask Amy, a woman starts a Facebook dating profile after her husband does, but is asked...

In this week’s episode, the Biffs read from one of their favorite columns -  Natalie Bencivenga’s, Ask Natalie. A series of unfortunate events in a contentious relationship leaves a grieving widow wanting to sever ties with her late husband’s son. A writer’s roommate-turned-close-friend crosses an unspoken boundary and violates her privacy when she borrow’s her sex toy. Another writer’s emotional capacity to handle he...

Stefani and Ray attempt to weigh in on questions sent to the Slate.com’s How To Do It Column, by Rich Juzwiak and Jessica Stoya. A coupled individual’s want to connect intimately with girlfriends is interrupted by booty calls and one-nighters. Another writer’s realization that they’re non-binary, along with their penchant for masochism, leaves them wondering if their husband is the one for them. Finally, a woman’s att...

This week, the Biffs revisit Reddit’s Am I the Assh*le (AITA) thread. A man’s disagreement with his wife’s unusual punishment of their underaged drunk son stalls communications at home. Another father questions whether he’s asshole for kicking his son out, when it’s revealed that he’s been staying with them because he cheated on his pregnant, bed-ridden wife. And a man’s dash cam footage reveals what he really did to ...

The Biffs, Stefani and Ray, put new columnist, R. Eric Thomas of Asking Eric (Washington Post), to the test. He’s got big shoes to fill as he steps in following Amy’s (Ask Amy) departure. An anti-gay rights in-law puts together a family tree and leaves the writer’s husband of ten years out, because of her stance on same-sex marriage. A man who enjoys just about everything in his marriage can’t stomach another one of h...

The Biffs celebrate twenty-one years of Ask Amy with a send-off/tribute, including some of her best advice to date. Amy gets pranked in our first question, when a writer's scenario is the movie plot of the 2003 cult-classic, The Room. The second writer is a woman whose unchecked privilege, along with that of her family/friend group, gets in the way of her being a good sister. Finally, a dinner guest is upset following a party where...

This Biffs read through Laura Collins's column in the Metro.co.uk this week. One writer asks for guidance on coming out to her mother about sleeping with her uncle. Another questions that status of his marriage when his postpartum wife cheats on him, following his unplanned vacation with his friends. And finally, a young man, sexually harassed by his dad's young girlfriend, doesn't know how to tell him. [Prophesy Rosé, 2022]

In this week’s episode of Ill Advised, Stefani and Ray read from Miss Manners column from UExpress. One writer asks for help in determining when to relate and when to express empathy when someone close is sharing a personal problem. Another writer takes a tumble and becomes the joke of the friend group. Finally, a change in a cancer survivors appearance has them wondering how to redirect compliments. [Chateau Laborde ...

It's another trip down memory lane as we relive some our favorite advice columns from our early days. From episode 13 - Swipe if You Want the Pipe, the Biffs address a writer's plan to get down and dirty with an internet beau. A man's uncut member becomes a Jewish mother's biggest worry, in episode 32 - Was Jesus Circumcised. And from Episode 72 - In the Privacy of Your Public, should Mom have knocked when the son uncharacteristica...

Coleen Nolan, the Mirror.co.uk's agony aunt's column, is the topic of this week’s conversation between the Biffs. A woman’s insecurities over the life her daughter lives prompts her question to Coleen. Another woman’s husband doesn’t like it when she’s barefoot on vacation, when she just wants to air out the puppies. Finally, when your Biff doesn’t like your significant other, which side of the fence do you play on? [...

The Biff’s read through advice from Jenee Desmond-Harris of the Slate’s Dear Prudence, this week. A woman finds her husband’s notes to himself on the best way to handle her in several scenarios. A husband cheats on his wife with the person she has a restraining order on, and now she’s ready to give notice at their co-owned business. Lastly, when the rat-tail when out of style, this writer thinks their baby book should...

In this week’s episode, Stefani and Ray read from “Dear Abby.” A woman struggles to support her daughter through divorce when she learns about their open marriage. An ornate cut glass cake stand is the final straw after a writer feels snubbed by their family friend. Finally, a young woman is torn about her parent’s divorce after her father lays blame directly on her. [Rapaura Springs Sauvignon Blanc, 2022]

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