June 24, 2025 • 9 mins
In this episode of #FeelingsMatter, hosts Michelle Stinson Ross, Tina Schweiger, and Heather Hampton explore the emotion of feeling charming - that pleasant feeling with an air of charisma that creates connection with others. The conversation examines the distinction between authentic and inauthentic charm, how charm functions in relationships and performance settings, and the positive dynamic that can emerge when people mutually experience this delightful emotion. The hosts discuss charm as both something we feel within ourselves and something we experience from others.
Episode Highlights:
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN.Copyright 2025, all rights reserved. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Podcast theme music by Dubush Miaw from Pixabay
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Episode Highlights:
- Tina introduces charming as feeling "pleasant with an air of charisma," using the old-fashioned greeting "I'm charmed" as an example, and questions whether charm is a natural state or something crafted to influence others
- Michelle explores the difference between authentic and manipulative charm, sharing experiences of initially finding someone charming only to discover they were "working extra hard" to win her over, leading to disappointment when the charm disappeared
- Heather describes authentic charm as feeling adjacent to "flow" - something that comes naturally without working hard, like being inspired in the moment or genuinely wanting to connect with someone
- Tina observes that charm can create "positive escalation" where feeling charmed by someone makes them feel more charming in return, creating an expanding "dance of delight" between people
- Michelle connects charm to public speaking and performance, noting how successful speakers and performers (including Tina's stage presence) use charm to create connection with audiences, describing it as "the intersection of charisma and connection"
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN.Copyright 2025, all rights reserved. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Podcast theme music by Dubush Miaw from Pixabay
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Do you have trouble talking about your feelings?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's a topic that can make even the most.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Powerful people somewhat squeamish.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You're listening to Feelings Matter, where our mission is to
demystify everything about emotions so that we can all get
more comfortable in talking about them. Join Heather, Tina and
Michelle as we unpack a new angle on emotions and
the psychology of human nature.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Feelings Matter.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hello everyone, and welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Back to Feelings Matter.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
I'm Michelle Stinson Ross and I'm teenage Viger.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I've been feather eton.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
So, Tina, are you feeling it all charming today?
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Maybe I am and I didn't realize it. Okay, maybe
I am? So charming is a very pleasant emotion? Are
Our visual for charming is like a rose plant with
a smiley face embedded in it, And that's like a
combination of like really happy with a little bit of
(01:22):
a little bit of of the rose. There's a little
bit of schmooze there, little schmooves there. Yeah, charming is
you feel pleasant with an error of charisma. And some
of the prompts in there are do I feel an
inner glow or a sense of joy when encountering something
(01:43):
delightful or enchanting. A lot of these questions are really
about the feeling or sense of warmth that I have
within and the delight in someone's company and their actions.
I think there's it reminds me of the the green
from like the posh like earlier twentieth century, when it's
(02:04):
nice to meet you, Oh I'm charmed like that, that
kind of greeting where I feel charmed by you. And
then there's the idea of I feel like I'm being charming,
and then within that is it my natural state or
(02:25):
is it something I'm crafting in order to sway another person?
What are y'all's thoughts on that.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
You went right into some of where my head immediately went.
First of all, are you experiencing something that you feel
like you are being charming or whether you are being charmed?
But I want to dig into this aspect of is
(02:57):
this something that's just naturally happening or is is something
that you're purposely crafting because I have had experiences with
many people that I found the engagement with them to
be charming, but at the end of the day, as
the relationship, the friendship, the whatever went on, I'm like, oh,
(03:21):
you weren't like that all the time. You were working
like extra hard to get my attention and win me over,
and now that you've got me, I'm not so sure.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Like, yeah, I feel there's something really interesting about the
word charm, because I feel someone like someone who's being
authentically charming is essentially putting you under a spell of
sorts become very highly engaged without person when someone is
(03:56):
being charming, and there's a sense of delight and anything
that delights us pulls us in. So if we're being
delighted by someone, we're being drawn closer into their sphere.
But I do think there is authentic and inauthentic charm,
So I.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Guess as a feeling when I experience.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Like if I feel like I am being charming, I
feel like there's something very adjacent to the motion of slow,
which is I'm actually not working very hard. It's just
naturally coming to me. And I don't know if it's
like I'm being inspired in the moment or I'm just
happing to connect with a person and that makes that easy.
(04:40):
But it definitely when I feel authentically charming, it doesn't
feel hard, it doesn't feel like something I'm really working at.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I think it also brought to mind that when you
have that dynamic going, that feeling charming or feeling like
you're being charmed is like a positive escalation. For example,
if I'm feeling Heather is so charming right now, and
(05:10):
I'm like, wow, I'm feeling delight in her company, and
then she senses that I feel delight in her company,
then she all of a sudden becomes more charming, and
then the little dance of delight expands, which is pretty cool.
I think the feeling of charming like that would be
the most obvious for me would be back in the
(05:32):
days whenever I would go on a date with somebody
I was interested in, and I would feel like if
they were if I felt good vibes from them, I
felt like I might be charming. I might be charming here.
And there's something powerful to that feeling. I like me
never try to manipulate somebody with charm. That feels a
(05:54):
little skeazy to me.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So yeah, I like it in particular. You connect it
with charisma, that charming in particular. Even though believe this
one lives in the humor category, I think it does.
It's very much about connection. It's very much about relationships
(06:19):
and about the charisma that you bring to an engagement
or you experience in an engagement. I have thought several
times as a public speaker that there is a level
of charisma and charm that really successful public speakers bring
(06:39):
to the stage, bring to their stage presence. You do
that as well, Tina as a vocalist, and it just made.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Me think of that. I was like, oh, yeah, obviously
I want to be charming when I'm attempting to do
Flee Woden back on stage.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
And the effort here is that I'm trying to make
a connection, whether it's a one on one connection with
somebody that I'm having a very intimate one on one
engagement with, or I'm trying to make a connection with
a group of people because I'm on stage either speaking
or performing or whatever the case may be, and I
want to make that connection with that audience. I do
(07:19):
think that is where charm comes into play. And Yeah,
from an emotional experience, I would definitely say for me
in those like public speaking moments, that I am definitely
tapping into a level of charisma and connection that is
(07:43):
very much where charm lives is in this human connection aspect,
the intersection of charisma and connection.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
I like that. What a charming conversation. I'm complete with
that one.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
Feelings Matter is brought to you by feel Wise. Most
people can identify three emotions sad, mad, and glad, but
there are over one hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Six ways to truly express how you feel.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Feel Wise tools help you build your emotional vocabulary and
transform understanding into action. Discover the language of emotions on
the fuel Wise website at bitley slash feel wise that
b I T dot l Y slash f e E
(08:44):
l WI s E feel wise. Turn emotional awareness into
your superpower
Speaker 3 (09:19):
B
Do you have trouble talking about your feelings?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's a topic that can make even the most.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Powerful people somewhat squeamish.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You're listening to Feelings Matter, where our mission is to
demystify everything about emotions so that we can all get
more comfortable in talking about them. Join Heather, Tina and
Michelle as we unpack a new angle on emotions and
the psychology of human nature.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Feelings Matter.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hello everyone, and welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Back to Feelings Matter.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
I'm Michelle Stinson Ross and I'm teenage Viger.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I've been feather eton.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
So, Tina, are you feeling it all charming today?
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Maybe I am and I didn't realize it. Okay, maybe
I am? So charming is a very pleasant emotion? Are
Our visual for charming is like a rose plant with
a smiley face embedded in it, And that's like a
combination of like really happy with a little bit of
(01:22):
a little bit of of the rose. There's a little
bit of schmooze there, little schmooves there. Yeah, charming is
you feel pleasant with an error of charisma. And some
of the prompts in there are do I feel an
inner glow or a sense of joy when encountering something
(01:43):
delightful or enchanting. A lot of these questions are really
about the feeling or sense of warmth that I have
within and the delight in someone's company and their actions.
I think there's it reminds me of the the green
from like the posh like earlier twentieth century, when it's
(02:04):
nice to meet you, Oh I'm charmed like that, that
kind of greeting where I feel charmed by you. And
then there's the idea of I feel like I'm being charming,
and then within that is it my natural state or
(02:25):
is it something I'm crafting in order to sway another person?
What are y'all's thoughts on that.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
You went right into some of where my head immediately went.
First of all, are you experiencing something that you feel
like you are being charming or whether you are being charmed?
But I want to dig into this aspect of is
(02:57):
this something that's just naturally happening or is is something
that you're purposely crafting because I have had experiences with
many people that I found the engagement with them to
be charming, but at the end of the day, as
the relationship, the friendship, the whatever went on, I'm like, oh,
(03:21):
you weren't like that all the time. You were working
like extra hard to get my attention and win me over,
and now that you've got me, I'm not so sure.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Like, yeah, I feel there's something really interesting about the
word charm, because I feel someone like someone who's being
authentically charming is essentially putting you under a spell of
sorts become very highly engaged without person when someone is
(03:56):
being charming, and there's a sense of delight and anything
that delights us pulls us in. So if we're being
delighted by someone, we're being drawn closer into their sphere.
But I do think there is authentic and inauthentic charm,
So I.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Guess as a feeling when I experience.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Like if I feel like I am being charming, I
feel like there's something very adjacent to the motion of slow,
which is I'm actually not working very hard. It's just
naturally coming to me. And I don't know if it's
like I'm being inspired in the moment or I'm just
happing to connect with a person and that makes that easy.
(04:40):
But it definitely when I feel authentically charming, it doesn't
feel hard, it doesn't feel like something I'm really working at.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I think it also brought to mind that when you
have that dynamic going, that feeling charming or feeling like
you're being charmed is like a positive escalation. For example,
if I'm feeling Heather is so charming right now, and
(05:10):
I'm like, wow, I'm feeling delight in her company, and
then she senses that I feel delight in her company,
then she all of a sudden becomes more charming, and
then the little dance of delight expands, which is pretty cool.
I think the feeling of charming like that would be
the most obvious for me would be back in the
(05:32):
days whenever I would go on a date with somebody
I was interested in, and I would feel like if
they were if I felt good vibes from them, I
felt like I might be charming. I might be charming here.
And there's something powerful to that feeling. I like me
never try to manipulate somebody with charm. That feels a
(05:54):
little skeazy to me.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So yeah, I like it in particular. You connect it
with charisma, that charming in particular. Even though believe this
one lives in the humor category, I think it does.
It's very much about connection. It's very much about relationships
(06:19):
and about the charisma that you bring to an engagement
or you experience in an engagement. I have thought several
times as a public speaker that there is a level
of charisma and charm that really successful public speakers bring
(06:39):
to the stage, bring to their stage presence. You do
that as well, Tina as a vocalist, and it just made.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Me think of that. I was like, oh, yeah, obviously
I want to be charming when I'm attempting to do
Flee Woden back on stage.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
And the effort here is that I'm trying to make
a connection, whether it's a one on one connection with
somebody that I'm having a very intimate one on one
engagement with, or I'm trying to make a connection with
a group of people because I'm on stage either speaking
or performing or whatever the case may be, and I
want to make that connection with that audience. I do
(07:19):
think that is where charm comes into play. And Yeah,
from an emotional experience, I would definitely say for me
in those like public speaking moments, that I am definitely
tapping into a level of charisma and connection that is
(07:43):
very much where charm lives is in this human connection aspect,
the intersection of charisma and connection.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
I like that. What a charming conversation. I'm complete with
that one.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
Feelings Matter is brought to you by feel Wise. Most
people can identify three emotions sad, mad, and glad, but
there are over one hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Six ways to truly express how you feel.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Feel Wise tools help you build your emotional vocabulary and
transform understanding into action. Discover the language of emotions on
the fuel Wise website at bitley slash feel wise that
b I T dot l Y slash f e E
(08:44):
l WI s E feel wise. Turn emotional awareness into
your superpower
Speaker 3 (09:19):
B
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