July 22, 2025 • 13 mins
In this episode of #FeelingsMatter, hosts Michelle Stinson Ross, Tina Schweiger, and Heather Hampton explore the emotion of worry - that feeling of being troubled or having a mind busy with anxiety or doubt. The conversation examines worry as primarily a mental rather than physical experience, its relationship to control and choice, and how it differs from anxiety. The hosts share contrasting perspectives on worry, with some experiencing it frequently while others find it largely absent from their emotional landscape.
Episode Highlights:
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN.Copyright 2025, all rights reserved. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Podcast theme music by Dubush Miaw from Pixabay
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Episode Highlights:
- Heather notes how the visual representation of worry shows the character looking off into the distance rather than at the viewer, illustrating how worry takes us out of the present moment and focuses on an unknown future
- Heather shares her approach to worry using the phrase "worry doesn't have a place in a plan," explaining how she gathers information before deciding if something is worth worrying about, and how having a plan eliminates the need for worry
- Tina theorizes that worry can become addictive because it creates an illusion of power or control over situations we actually cannot control, suggesting people can become "worry warts" as part of their personality
- The hosts contrast worry (primarily mental rumination) with anxiety (more physical sensations), and explore how worry represents "over-engaging in choice" while exasperation comes from lack of agency
- Heather offers a surprising perspective that her intimate relationship with depression may actually make her "immune" to worry, since she already has a pessimistic worldview and doesn't need to add more negative thinking on top of that baseline
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN.Copyright 2025, all rights reserved. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Podcast theme music by Dubush Miaw from Pixabay
This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
This episode is sponsored by
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/
Don’t miss a moment of the conversation, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting platform
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Do you have trouble talking about your feelings.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's a topic that can make even.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The most powerful people somewhat squeamish.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You're listening to Feelings Matter, where our mission is to
demystify everything about emotions so that we can all get
more comfortable in talking about them. Joining Heather, Tina and
Michelle as we unpack a new angle on emotions and
the psychology of human nature. Feelings Matter. Hello everyone, and
(00:45):
welcome back to Feelings Matter.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I'm Michelstonton or Ross, I'm Teena Schweiger, and.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm Heather Hinton.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
So the card that I picked this week is worried,
and the description definition for worried is feeling troubled or
having a mind that is busy with anxiety or doubt.
And one of the things that I also really notice
is the illustration.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The feeling for worried.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Is and most of the feelies are looking at the viewer,
but the feely for worried is.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Looking off into the distance. That's something that we can't see.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
And for me, that was such a beautiful like illustration
because I feel worried takes us so much out of
the present right you're worried about the future, so you're
gazing at this unknown future and you're not connected at
all with what's happening in the moment.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I'm not connected with.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
This feeling because he's not looking at me. And I
think that that's a beautiful way to understand this emotion
and another reason why these illustrations exist to help us
move beyond the written description of an emotion to understand
(02:09):
how it feels for us and in our body. So
just another like amazing thank you shout out to Tina
for the whole ideation to all these cards.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I think that's really important.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
But for me personally, when I think about worried, is
not an emotion that really I have a lot of
trouble with.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
My grandma was a worrier.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
She worried about everything, and I it's very easy for
me to say, like in a moment where worried might
show up, is do I have all the information I
need to be worried? For example, I go see my guynecologist.
(02:54):
She says, Oh, you got an irregular pop smear. We're
gonna do a biopsy.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Okay. Some people might get really worried, Oh my god,
do I have cancer? I don't know what am I
gonna do? And for a week while they're waiting for
the test results to come back, their life could be upended.
But for me, I'm okay with telling myself I don't
know what is gonna come of this. I can't worry
about something that I don't know. And then when I
(03:21):
get the results, either I don't have cancer, I do
have cancer.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
If I don't have cancer, I enough have to worry.
If I do have cancer, I have a plan, and
worry doesn't have a place and a plan. So for me,
it's about gathering all the information that I need to
determine whether this is.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Worth worrying about. What do you guys think about that?
Speaker 5 (03:44):
The phrase worry doesn't have a place and a plan.
It's like a phrase that's said with conviction, like you've
said it many times before, almost in a way to
soothe yourself from a worrying feeling. That one was one
that I was just rolling around with. For worry has
no place, no plan, my dea, I'm sorry, but you're
(04:06):
not welcome here.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Useful. It's not useful.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
I get that, like anxiety, which is absolutely a part
of worry. They live together and We've talked all of
us many times about that anxiety and depression are flip
sides of the same experience, just a little bit different
for someone who is so profoundly deeply related to depression.
(04:33):
The fact that like anxiety and worry is not even
like really a problem for me. I really don't feel
like it shows up. Yes, all can get butterflies if
I have to speak to a group of people or
give a business pitch or something like that. But that again,
leans more towards anxiety than it does towards worry.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I want to put a theory out her, right, do it? Okay?
I think that makes a lot of sense. The anxiety
to me is more a physical feeling than a my
mind going crazy about a topic. And I think when
I think of worry, it's more of a mind going
crazy about a topic. I'm going to put it out
(05:15):
there that it is. It can become part of your personality.
You've even heard the term of worry wart and I
think it's possible to get addicted to the act of
worry because it makes you think you have some kind
of power or control over a situation of which you
have no power or control.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Oh, feelings matter is brought to you by feel Wise.
Most people can identify three emotions sad, mad, and glad,
but there are.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Over one hundred and.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Fifty six ways to truly express how you feel. Feel
Wise tools help.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
You build your emotional vocat larry and transform understanding into action.
Discover the language of emotions on the fuel wise website
at bitley slash feel wise that b T dot l
y slash f e E l WI s E field wise.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Turn emotional awareness into your superpower. I love it that
this has come up the way it has, because as
both of you were talking, the thing that really came
to mind for me was where exasperation tends to show
(06:44):
up because of a lack of agency, because of a
lack of choice. Worry shows up whom we're really over
engaging in choice, if I can put it that way
a little bit, Because.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
I can remember my mom and.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Dad constantly talking about say money, right that very frequently
my dad would say something about like our balance or
something that mom had spent money on or whatever, and
Mom would say, I'm not worried about that. It'll be fine,
and Dad goes, why aren't you worried about it? Somebody
(07:19):
needs to be worried about it, and my mom would go,
that's not me, he goes, I guess it's going to
be me because somebody should be worrying about this. But really,
do you need to be worried about this? Are you
making a choice to worry about it? Are you over
(07:40):
engaging in your agency in order to give yourself a
sense of control that if I worry about it enough,
maybe I've.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Got some control over it. And also the murtyr I
don't know, just throwing that out there as questions.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I just feel like, because of the other emotions that
we've talked about recently, that there is an interesting juxtaposition
between an emotion that arises from a lack of agency,
like exasperation and worry, where like you said, Tina, it's
(08:21):
happening more in the mind than in the body, that
there is a choice being made to stay in that
and ruminate. Yeah, And I find that interesting that the
mix of emotions we've talked about most recently have this
interesting relationship between do I have choice an agency or
do I not?
Speaker 5 (08:42):
And I want to bring that back to Heather's comments,
which I could find a lot of people are like that,
what you don't worry, and her point of her intimate
relationship with depression that the choice to worry what it
just you don't have space for that time for that.
(09:05):
I can't make that choice. It's it's just it's ain't
gonna happen. So yeah, I think there's a lot of
choice in worrying.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
I think also, going back to what you just said
to you them, my depression is I look at the
world as pretty bleak and not very engaged in being
excited with participating in it.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
But worry is all about like how things can go wrong.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
You don't worry about how things can go it's always
like you're going to the negative situation. So maybe I'm
actually immune from worrying because I already know things are
pretty aft this bleak view. So maybe that is one
of the reasons why I'm just trying to be honest,
like I already have this kind of pessimistic view, so
(09:53):
there's no need to add on to that.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
That's why Paul kind of your So that's what I
call radical acceptance, very gool.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That is a radical acceptance of the reality of Heather's light.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
I'm glad that you can be So, yeah, we can
bear witness your relationship with depression also and tell you
you're not crazy, my dear. That's a really tough thing
to live with for anyone, especially when it's treatment resistant.
It's really tough.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
It's thank you, Lef, it's to you.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I just gave Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
So, as we're talking through this, acceptance is something that
you can engage in to to get yourself out of worry. Obviously,
if you can get to the point where, oh, I'm
just going to accept circumstances the way they are and
not try and push my will onto them or anything
like that, you can get yourself out of worry. Reframing again,
(10:59):
like Tinis said, worry is something that happens in the mind.
You're ruminating on something, You're just like turning it over
and over in your mind. If you can turn that
churn into some reframing, you probably can get yourself out
of worry. Is there anything that also comes to mind
(11:19):
that might help get you off the struggle bus, get
you off the worry trade.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
I think the first thing in that space is do
you are you in a place where you feel safe?
And when you're worrying, I think that inherently you may
not feel safe and so the turning the mind intentionally
away from repeating a thought that you may have already had.
It's already there in your brain, so you don't need
(11:49):
to continuously repeat it. If you're able to interrupt that
process and then focus on what do I have control
over in my environment and what changes can I make
to feel more safe? That would be a really great
place to start.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I like that, And that also relates very closely so
that finding that sense of safety is the same type
of thinking, mindset, mindfulness that you use with anxiety as well. So, yes,
worry and anxiety are closely related, but anxiety just shows up.
(12:29):
It is an experience of my nervous system, whereas for
me at least, worry is much more of a choice.
But when trying to diffuse it and work my way
through it, finding that sense of safety actually works for both.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Beautiful all right, Thank you ladies for sharing
Do you have trouble talking about your feelings.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's a topic that can make even.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The most powerful people somewhat squeamish.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You're listening to Feelings Matter, where our mission is to
demystify everything about emotions so that we can all get
more comfortable in talking about them. Joining Heather, Tina and
Michelle as we unpack a new angle on emotions and
the psychology of human nature. Feelings Matter. Hello everyone, and
(00:45):
welcome back to Feelings Matter.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I'm Michelstonton or Ross, I'm Teena Schweiger, and.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm Heather Hinton.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
So the card that I picked this week is worried,
and the description definition for worried is feeling troubled or
having a mind that is busy with anxiety or doubt.
And one of the things that I also really notice
is the illustration.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The feeling for worried.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Is and most of the feelies are looking at the viewer,
but the feely for worried is.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Looking off into the distance. That's something that we can't see.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
And for me, that was such a beautiful like illustration
because I feel worried takes us so much out of
the present right you're worried about the future, so you're
gazing at this unknown future and you're not connected at
all with what's happening in the moment.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I'm not connected with.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
This feeling because he's not looking at me. And I
think that that's a beautiful way to understand this emotion
and another reason why these illustrations exist to help us
move beyond the written description of an emotion to understand
(02:09):
how it feels for us and in our body. So
just another like amazing thank you shout out to Tina
for the whole ideation to all these cards.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I think that's really important.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
But for me personally, when I think about worried, is
not an emotion that really I have a lot of
trouble with.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
My grandma was a worrier.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
She worried about everything, and I it's very easy for
me to say, like in a moment where worried might
show up, is do I have all the information I
need to be worried? For example, I go see my guynecologist.
(02:54):
She says, Oh, you got an irregular pop smear. We're
gonna do a biopsy.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Okay. Some people might get really worried, Oh my god,
do I have cancer? I don't know what am I
gonna do? And for a week while they're waiting for
the test results to come back, their life could be upended.
But for me, I'm okay with telling myself I don't
know what is gonna come of this. I can't worry
about something that I don't know. And then when I
(03:21):
get the results, either I don't have cancer, I do
have cancer.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
If I don't have cancer, I enough have to worry.
If I do have cancer, I have a plan, and
worry doesn't have a place and a plan. So for me,
it's about gathering all the information that I need to
determine whether this is.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Worth worrying about. What do you guys think about that?
Speaker 5 (03:44):
The phrase worry doesn't have a place and a plan.
It's like a phrase that's said with conviction, like you've
said it many times before, almost in a way to
soothe yourself from a worrying feeling. That one was one
that I was just rolling around with. For worry has
no place, no plan, my dea, I'm sorry, but you're
(04:06):
not welcome here.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Useful. It's not useful.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
I get that, like anxiety, which is absolutely a part
of worry. They live together and We've talked all of
us many times about that anxiety and depression are flip
sides of the same experience, just a little bit different
for someone who is so profoundly deeply related to depression.
(04:33):
The fact that like anxiety and worry is not even
like really a problem for me. I really don't feel
like it shows up. Yes, all can get butterflies if
I have to speak to a group of people or
give a business pitch or something like that. But that again,
leans more towards anxiety than it does towards worry.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I want to put a theory out her, right, do it? Okay?
I think that makes a lot of sense. The anxiety
to me is more a physical feeling than a my
mind going crazy about a topic. And I think when
I think of worry, it's more of a mind going
crazy about a topic. I'm going to put it out
(05:15):
there that it is. It can become part of your personality.
You've even heard the term of worry wart and I
think it's possible to get addicted to the act of
worry because it makes you think you have some kind
of power or control over a situation of which you
have no power or control.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Oh, feelings matter is brought to you by feel Wise.
Most people can identify three emotions sad, mad, and glad,
but there are.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Over one hundred and.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Fifty six ways to truly express how you feel. Feel
Wise tools help.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
You build your emotional vocat larry and transform understanding into action.
Discover the language of emotions on the fuel wise website
at bitley slash feel wise that b T dot l
y slash f e E l WI s E field wise.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Turn emotional awareness into your superpower. I love it that
this has come up the way it has, because as
both of you were talking, the thing that really came
to mind for me was where exasperation tends to show
(06:44):
up because of a lack of agency, because of a
lack of choice. Worry shows up whom we're really over
engaging in choice, if I can put it that way
a little bit, Because.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
I can remember my mom and.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Dad constantly talking about say money, right that very frequently
my dad would say something about like our balance or
something that mom had spent money on or whatever, and
Mom would say, I'm not worried about that. It'll be fine,
and Dad goes, why aren't you worried about it? Somebody
(07:19):
needs to be worried about it, and my mom would go,
that's not me, he goes, I guess it's going to
be me because somebody should be worrying about this. But really,
do you need to be worried about this? Are you
making a choice to worry about it? Are you over
(07:40):
engaging in your agency in order to give yourself a
sense of control that if I worry about it enough,
maybe I've.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Got some control over it. And also the murtyr I
don't know, just throwing that out there as questions.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I just feel like, because of the other emotions that
we've talked about recently, that there is an interesting juxtaposition
between an emotion that arises from a lack of agency,
like exasperation and worry, where like you said, Tina, it's
(08:21):
happening more in the mind than in the body, that
there is a choice being made to stay in that
and ruminate. Yeah, And I find that interesting that the
mix of emotions we've talked about most recently have this
interesting relationship between do I have choice an agency or
do I not?
Speaker 5 (08:42):
And I want to bring that back to Heather's comments,
which I could find a lot of people are like that,
what you don't worry, and her point of her intimate
relationship with depression that the choice to worry what it
just you don't have space for that time for that.
(09:05):
I can't make that choice. It's it's just it's ain't
gonna happen. So yeah, I think there's a lot of
choice in worrying.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
I think also, going back to what you just said
to you them, my depression is I look at the
world as pretty bleak and not very engaged in being
excited with participating in it.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
But worry is all about like how things can go wrong.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
You don't worry about how things can go it's always
like you're going to the negative situation. So maybe I'm
actually immune from worrying because I already know things are
pretty aft this bleak view. So maybe that is one
of the reasons why I'm just trying to be honest,
like I already have this kind of pessimistic view, so
(09:53):
there's no need to add on to that.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
That's why Paul kind of your So that's what I
call radical acceptance, very gool.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That is a radical acceptance of the reality of Heather's light.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
I'm glad that you can be So, yeah, we can
bear witness your relationship with depression also and tell you
you're not crazy, my dear. That's a really tough thing
to live with for anyone, especially when it's treatment resistant.
It's really tough.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
It's thank you, Lef, it's to you.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I just gave Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
So, as we're talking through this, acceptance is something that
you can engage in to to get yourself out of worry. Obviously,
if you can get to the point where, oh, I'm
just going to accept circumstances the way they are and
not try and push my will onto them or anything
like that, you can get yourself out of worry. Reframing again,
(10:59):
like Tinis said, worry is something that happens in the mind.
You're ruminating on something, You're just like turning it over
and over in your mind. If you can turn that
churn into some reframing, you probably can get yourself out
of worry. Is there anything that also comes to mind
(11:19):
that might help get you off the struggle bus, get
you off the worry trade.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
I think the first thing in that space is do
you are you in a place where you feel safe?
And when you're worrying, I think that inherently you may
not feel safe and so the turning the mind intentionally
away from repeating a thought that you may have already had.
It's already there in your brain, so you don't need
(11:49):
to continuously repeat it. If you're able to interrupt that
process and then focus on what do I have control
over in my environment and what changes can I make
to feel more safe? That would be a really great
place to start.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I like that, And that also relates very closely so
that finding that sense of safety is the same type
of thinking, mindset, mindfulness that you use with anxiety as well. So, yes,
worry and anxiety are closely related, but anxiety just shows up.
(12:29):
It is an experience of my nervous system, whereas for
me at least, worry is much more of a choice.
But when trying to diffuse it and work my way
through it, finding that sense of safety actually works for both.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Beautiful all right, Thank you ladies for sharing
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com