Still Becoming One
We deeply desired a marriage based on God's design: two people coming together as "one flesh," but we had no idea how to do it. We tried and fell flat many times, going through many dark seasons. We wondered when the oneness was supposed to begin. Renewing grace and love in our marriage wasn't an easy process, but now, more than 20 years later, our marriage is thriving, and Brad is a licensed counselor, and Kate is a relationship coach. We work with couples and individuals who want to discover what building a one-flesh marriage means, helping them uncover and understand their stories and the unique challenges that keep them stuck. We invite you to journey with us as we are Still Becoming One.
Episodes
What if becoming one didn’t mean losing yourself? We get honest about the push and pull between closeness and autonomy—how time apart can stir old aches, why safety makes independence possible, and how small, practical choices turn tension into trust. From childhood loneliness to learned solitude, we trace how personal story and attachment shape the way each of us handles “I need a minute” and “I miss you already,” an...
A simple “You look great” shouldn’t start a debate, yet so many couples know that sting. We unpack the common loop where one partner stops praising because the other deflects. Diving into why compliments bounce off, how cultural messages tangle with personal story, and what it takes to make affirmation actually land. Instead of withdrawing, we offer a better path
What happens when your parents protect their marriage like it’s a living, breathing thing—and you’re the kid on the other side of the doorknob? We invite our daughter Lily home from college to talk candidly about growing up in a marriage-first home: the Friday date nights, the weekends away, the moments that felt lonely, and the rituals that made her feel chosen. Her reflections are warm, honest, and surprising—especi...
What if the real intimacy killer isn’t your past, but how it gets dismissed? We dig into ways couples can invalidate each other’s stories—“It wasn’t that bad,” “You should be over it,” “That’s just your story”—and why those phrases shut down safety, trust, and depth. Drawing from our own marriage and years of coaching, we unpack the difference between knowing a partner’s facts and understanding the impact those moment...
Brad and Kate explore how our personal stories and childhood experiences shape our marriage relationships in profound ways. Story work provides couples with a framework to understand recurring conflicts and create healthier patterns of interaction.
We invite you to start your own story exploration and join us next week as we continue our series on story work and its impact on marriage.
Could the "purity culture" teachings you received years ago still be affecting your marriage today? In this compelling conversation, we join Pastor Addison Roberts from Grace Community Church to explore the complex legacy many Christian kids received from purity culture about sexuality and how these teachings continue to create unexpected challenges in intimate relationships today.
Drew Boa turns the traditional approach to overcoming pornography addiction on its head with his groundbreaking perspective that freedom comes not through battling your sexuality, but by befriending it. As the founder of Husband Material Ministries and author of "Outgrow Porn," Drew shares his personal 10-year journey of freedom and the revolutionary insights he's gained from working with hundreds of me...
Life has a way of surprising us with transitions we weren't quite expecting. This week, Brad and Kate share the sudden shift into empty-nest parenthood that has happened, which they had not anticipated. As their four children all simultaneously launched into new adventures, Brad and Kate found themselves abruptly facing a quiet house filled with possibility and questions.
Throughout their discussion emer...
What happens when past wounds collide in marriage? Steve and Lisa Call, co-authors with Dan Allender of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, founders of Reconnect Institute, and married for over 35 years, reveal how childhood stories unconsciously shape our most intimate relationships. Through vulnerable personal examples, Steve shares how his response of "I'm fine" masks deeper feelings of abandonment stemming fr...
What happens when one partner has a career that demands everything? Whether it's an 80-hour workweek, constant travel, or shift work that throws off your entire family rhythm, demanding careers create unique challenges for relationships.
Brad and Kate tackle this reality head-on, acknowledging the struggles couples face when balancing intense professional demands with maintaining connection. Through thei...
Brad and Kate explore how married couples can drift into feeling like roommates or business partners when they neglect emotional connection and intimacy. They discuss how busyness, misinterpreting intentions, and focusing solely on logistics create distance in relationships. Then offer some practical tools, including their own book of questions, as a path back toward intimacy.
You can find the Questions for C...
Brad and Kate explore how couples can maintain connection during inevitable busy seasons when marriage can't be the top priority. They share personal examples from their May celebrations of their children's graduations and how they've learned to navigate similar challenging periods.
Brad and Kate Aldrich explore how seemingly healthy self-care activities might actually be "imitation self-care" that creates distance rather than true rejuvenation in marriage relationships.
• Imitation self-care activities mimic real self-care but leave us feeling worse afterward
• Binge-watching shows and mindless scrolling often become ways to avoid connection
• The content we're dr...
What happens when the very strategies we develop to care for ourselves actually pull us away from our partners? In this eye-opening exploration of "imitation self-care," we dive into the complex ways our coping mechanisms can disguise themselves as healthy practices while undermining our relationships. Imitation self-care is challenging to identify because it often contains elements of genuine care. Exercise...
We examine the complexities of troubled marriages, challenging the idea that couples should "stick it out no matter what" while offering guidance on when to fight for your relationship and when boundaries might be necessary.
• Understanding the difference between pursuing happiness versus finding fulfillment and contentment in marriage
• Why staying together "just for the kids" often c...
Special guest Adam Young joins us to discuss his new book, Make Sense of Your Story.
What if the relationship patterns you can't seem to break are rooted in stories you've never fully understood? Adam Young, therapist and host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, joins us to explore how our earliest experiences continue to shape our most intimate relationships—and what we can do about it.
Whether you&...
Brad and Kate Aldrich challenge the common belief that marriage problems stem from choosing the wrong person, revealing how our personal stories shape relationship patterns regardless of who we marry.
We explore the dynamic when husbands experience higher sexual desire than their wives, examining how both partners often feel broken or inadequate when confronting these differences.
• Sexual desire disparity affects approximately 80% of marriages with the husband having a higher desire
• Both partners suffer—husbands feeling rejected and wives feeling inadequate or broken
• Harmful messaging from pur...
Brad and Kate welcome J Parker, author of "The Higher Desire Wife," to discuss the often overlooked reality of wives who desire more sexual intimacy than their husbands and how couples can navigate this sensitive dynamic with understanding and compassion.
• Sexual desire fluctuates throughout marriage, with partners' drives shifting multiple times over the years
• Numerous factors affect ma...
Relationship conflict is inevitable, but the key to healthy relationships lies in effective repair—acknowledging impact and taking responsibility rather than just saying, "sorry you were hurt."
• Conflict in relationships is normal, but repair is essential for rebuilding connection
• There's a critical difference between "I'm sorry you were hurt" and "I'm sorry I hu...
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