Still Becoming One
We longed for a marriage where two people truly connect as “one flesh,” but we had no roadmap. After years of missteps, hard seasons, and questions about when real closeness would begin, we discovered that building a thriving marriage takes time, intention, and guidance. Now, more than 26 years later, our marriage is stronger than ever. Brad is a licensed counselor, and Kate is a relationship coach, and together we help couples and individuals explore what it means to build a deep connection, uncovering the stories and patterns that keep them stuck. Join us as we continue the journey of growth, healing, and intimacy. We are still becoming one, and we want to walk this path with you.
Episodes
In this fan-favorite episode, we are counting down to the number two most-listened-to episode of Still Becoming One. Join us as we dive into a topic many Christian couples wonder about but are hesitant to discuss: oral sex. We tackle the frequent, questions we receive at marriage conferences about whether this act is biblically permissible, why a spouse might desire it, and how to navigate discrepancies in comfort lev...
In this special rebroadcast, we revisit one of our most popular episodes, ranking #3 in our top 5. We're joined by bestselling author and relationship coach Shannon Ethridge to explore the crucial link between emotional intelligence and sexual confidence within a marriage. We delve into how personal histories, cultural narratives like purity culture, and the vicious cycle of pornography can erode a wife's co...
In this special rebroadcast, Brad and Kate present #4 of their top 5 most popular episodes, featuring J Parker from Hot, Holy & Humorous.
This episode challenges the transactional view of sex in marriage, reframing desire from "getting sex" to pursuing genuine intimacy—encompassing vulnerability, connection, acceptance, and pleasure. They tackle common stereotypes about sex drive, particularly the harmfu...
In this rebroadcast, featured as one of the five most popular Still Becoming One episodes, licensed marriage counselor Brad and relationship coach Kate revisit the common and complex marital issue titled 'My Spouse Isn't Meeting My Needs, Now What?' Maybe you missed it the first time, or want to relisten. Enjoy, and we'll be back with new episodes soon!
They discuss the cycle of blame that often occ...
Is self-care selfish—especially during the holiday season? We unpack the difference between genuine self-care and imitation self-care and explore the unique resistance men and women face when trying to take care of themselves.
If you've thought, "I don't have time for self-care", or "What would I do anyway?" This episode is for you! We offer a practical framework to identify what truly re...
Brad and Kate, licensed marriage counselor and relationship coaches, dive into the vital topic of “doing your own work” and how personal healing impacts marriage health, communication, and intimacy.
They unpack common church-influenced pushbacks: “we just need to pray more,” “I’ll use accountability,” and “why go back to childhood?” This episode blends faith, neuroscience, story work, and marriage coaching to help co...
In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the complex inner world of men with therapist and teacher Wendell Moss from the Allender Center. Discover the three core, unspoken questions every man is asking:
- "Does anyone see me?"
- "Does anyone respect me?"
- "Will anyone want me?"
And how the cultural pressure to "be strong" often leads to silence, loneliness, and cycles of add...
Are you a parent struggling with the painful reality of your adult children creating distance, setting firm boundaries, or even cutting you off? This episode tackles the confusing and often hurtful dynamic of strained parent-adult child relationships. Hosts Brad and Kate explore why the younger generation is increasingly setting boundaries, leaving parents feeling bewildered and asking, "What did I do wrong?"...
The glow in your hand is quietly dimming the glow between you. We dive into how phones shape sex, sleep, attention, and intimacy—and the small, sustainable shifts that restore presence without demanding digital exile.
Don't know where to start?? Try Questions For Couples by Brad & Kate
The headlines say married sex is in decline, but the real story lives inside our homes: glowing screens, heavy schedules, chronic stress, and a quiet confusion about what “healthy intimacy” should look like now. We sit down with author and podcaster J Parker to unpack the data behind the so‑called sex recession and then move past the stats into practical fixes couples can actually use.
Special Guest J Parker ...
The calendar turns to November and suddenly every old family role shows up at the front door. We get real about why gatherings can feel so loaded, even when you love your people, and how to protect your marriage and your mental health without ghosting the holidays. Our approach starts with two anchors—honor and honesty—so you can appreciate the good, name the hard, and walk in with clarity about what you can and can’t...
What if becoming one didn’t mean losing yourself? We get honest about the push and pull between closeness and autonomy—how time apart can stir old aches, why safety makes independence possible, and how small, practical choices turn tension into trust. From childhood loneliness to learned solitude, we trace how personal story and attachment shape the way each of us handles “I need a minute” and “I miss you already,” an...
A simple “You look great” shouldn’t start a debate, yet so many couples know that sting. We unpack the common loop where one partner stops praising because the other deflects. Diving into why compliments bounce off, how cultural messages tangle with personal story, and what it takes to make affirmation actually land. Instead of withdrawing, we offer a better path
What happens when your parents protect their marriage like it’s a living, breathing thing—and you’re the kid on the other side of the doorknob? We invite our daughter Lily home from college to talk candidly about growing up in a marriage-first home: the Friday date nights, the weekends away, the moments that felt lonely, and the rituals that made her feel chosen. Her reflections are warm, honest, and surprising—especi...
What if the real intimacy killer isn’t your past, but how it gets dismissed? We dig into ways couples can invalidate each other’s stories—“It wasn’t that bad,” “You should be over it,” “That’s just your story”—and why those phrases shut down safety, trust, and depth. Drawing from our own marriage and years of coaching, we unpack the difference between knowing a partner’s facts and understanding the impact those moment...
Brad and Kate explore how our personal stories and childhood experiences shape our marriage relationships in profound ways. Story work provides couples with a framework to understand recurring conflicts and create healthier patterns of interaction.
We invite you to start your own story exploration and join us next week as we continue our series on story work and its impact on marriage.
Could the "purity culture" teachings you received years ago still be affecting your marriage today? In this compelling conversation, we join Pastor Addison Roberts from Grace Community Church to explore the complex legacy many Christian kids received from purity culture about sexuality and how these teachings continue to create unexpected challenges in intimate relationships today.
Drew Boa turns the traditional approach to overcoming pornography addiction on its head with his groundbreaking perspective that freedom comes not through battling your sexuality, but by befriending it. As the founder of Husband Material Ministries and author of "Outgrow Porn," Drew shares his personal 10-year journey of freedom and the revolutionary insights he's gained from working with hundreds of me...
Life has a way of surprising us with transitions we weren't quite expecting. This week, Brad and Kate share the sudden shift into empty-nest parenthood that has happened, which they had not anticipated. As their four children all simultaneously launched into new adventures, Brad and Kate found themselves abruptly facing a quiet house filled with possibility and questions.
Throughout their discussion emer...
What happens when past wounds collide in marriage? Steve and Lisa Call, co-authors with Dan Allender of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, founders of Reconnect Institute, and married for over 35 years, reveal how childhood stories unconsciously shape our most intimate relationships. Through vulnerable personal examples, Steve shares how his response of "I'm fine" masks deeper feelings of abandonment stemming fr...
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