Still Becoming One
We longed for a marriage where two people truly connect as “one flesh,” but we had no roadmap. After years of missteps, hard seasons, and questions about when real closeness would begin, we discovered that building a thriving marriage takes time, intention, and guidance. Now, more than 26 years later, our marriage is stronger than ever. Brad is a licensed counselor, and Kate is a relationship coach, and together we help couples and individuals explore what it means to build a deep connection, uncovering the stories and patterns that keep them stuck. Join us as we continue the journey of growth, healing, and intimacy. We are still becoming one, and we want to walk this path with you.
Episodes
Midlife often brings profound shifts in purpose and identity, posing unique challenges for married couples. Is it the seven-year itch or something else? We explore how individuals, influenced by societal roles and personal growth, naturally evolve, sometimes leading to divergent paths. This evolution can feel threatening when one partner finds new life outside the marriage, potentially straining the relationship. Learn h...
Are you struggling to understand the deep longings within you, feeling trapped in your marriage, or like the spark has gone dim? In this episode, we welcome back author and licensed therapist Jay Stringer to discuss his groundbreaking new book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow.
We talk with Jay and explore what motivated him to write this book, and his research on how...
Are you tired of the endless cycle of failed New Year's resolutions and frustrated by recurring conflicts in your marriage? In this episode, we explore why simply "white-knuckling" your way to change is destined to fail. Discover how persistent patterns, both in yourself and your spouse—from messy habits to communication breakdowns—are often survival mechanisms, not character flaws.
Learn how to shift from...
In this popular episode of SB1 Brad and Kate sit down with therapist, minister, and researcher Jay Stringer, author of Unwanted, to reframe sexuality through the broader lens of desire, intimacy, and healing. Moving beyond shame-based recovery and purity culture, the episode offers a faith-informed, research-backed roadmap for couples navigating betrayal trauma, porn, infidelity, and mismatched sexual desire. With practi...
In this fan-favorite episode, we are counting down to the number two most-listened-to episode of Still Becoming One. Join us as we dive into a topic many Christian couples wonder about but are hesitant to discuss: oral sex. We tackle the frequent, questions we receive at marriage conferences about whether this act is biblically permissible, why a spouse might desire it, and how to navigate discrepancies in comfort levels...
In this special rebroadcast, we revisit one of our most popular episodes, ranking #3 in our top 5. We're joined by bestselling author and relationship coach Shannon Ethridge to explore the crucial link between emotional intelligence and sexual confidence within a marriage. We delve into how personal histories, cultural narratives like purity culture, and the vicious cycle of pornography can erode a wife's confi...
In this special rebroadcast, Brad and Kate present #4 of their top 5 most popular episodes, featuring J Parker from Hot, Holy & Humorous.
This episode challenges the transactional view of sex in marriage, reframing desire from "getting sex" to pursuing genuine intimacy—encompassing vulnerability, connection, acceptance, and pleasure. They tackle common stereotypes about sex drive, particularly the harmful i...
In this rebroadcast, featured as one of the five most popular Still Becoming One episodes, licensed marriage counselor Brad and relationship coach Kate revisit the common and complex marital issue titled 'My Spouse Isn't Meeting My Needs, Now What?' Maybe you missed it the first time, or want to relisten. Enjoy, and we'll be back with new episodes soon!
They discuss the cycle of blame that often occurs...
Is self-care selfish—especially during the holiday season? We unpack the difference between genuine self-care and imitation self-care and explore the unique resistance men and women face when trying to take care of themselves.
If you've thought, "I don't have time for self-care", or "What would I do anyway?" This episode is for you! We offer a practical framework to identify what truly resto...
Brad and Kate, licensed marriage counselor and relationship coaches, dive into the vital topic of “doing your own work” and how personal healing impacts marriage health, communication, and intimacy.
They unpack common church-influenced pushbacks: “we just need to pray more,” “I’ll use accountability,” and “why go back to childhood?” This episode blends faith, neuroscience, story work, and marriage coaching to help coupl...
In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the complex inner world of men with therapist and teacher Wendell Moss from the Allender Center. Discover the three core, unspoken questions every man is asking:
- "Does anyone see me?"
- "Does anyone respect me?"
- "Will anyone want me?"
And how the cultural pressure to "be strong" often leads to silence, loneliness, and cycles of addict...
Are you a parent struggling with the painful reality of your adult children creating distance, setting firm boundaries, or even cutting you off? This episode tackles the confusing and often hurtful dynamic of strained parent-adult child relationships. Hosts Brad and Kate explore why the younger generation is increasingly setting boundaries, leaving parents feeling bewildered and asking, "What did I do wrong?"
T...
The glow in your hand is quietly dimming the glow between you. We dive into how phones shape sex, sleep, attention, and intimacy—and the small, sustainable shifts that restore presence without demanding digital exile.
Don't know where to start?? Try Questions For Couples by Brad & Kate
The headlines say married sex is in decline, but the real story lives inside our homes: glowing screens, heavy schedules, chronic stress, and a quiet confusion about what “healthy intimacy” should look like now. We sit down with author and podcaster J Parker to unpack the data behind the so‑called sex recession and then move past the stats into practical fixes couples can actually use.
Special Guest J Parker fro...
The calendar turns to November and suddenly every old family role shows up at the front door. We get real about why gatherings can feel so loaded, even when you love your people, and how to protect your marriage and your mental health without ghosting the holidays. Our approach starts with two anchors—honor and honesty—so you can appreciate the good, name the hard, and walk in with clarity about what you can and can’t ex...
What if becoming one didn’t mean losing yourself? We get honest about the push and pull between closeness and autonomy—how time apart can stir old aches, why safety makes independence possible, and how small, practical choices turn tension into trust. From childhood loneliness to learned solitude, we trace how personal story and attachment shape the way each of us handles “I need a minute” and “I miss you already,” and w...
A simple “You look great” shouldn’t start a debate, yet so many couples know that sting. We unpack the common loop where one partner stops praising because the other deflects. Diving into why compliments bounce off, how cultural messages tangle with personal story, and what it takes to make affirmation actually land. Instead of withdrawing, we offer a better path
What happens when your parents protect their marriage like it’s a living, breathing thing—and you’re the kid on the other side of the doorknob? We invite our daughter Lily home from college to talk candidly about growing up in a marriage-first home: the Friday date nights, the weekends away, the moments that felt lonely, and the rituals that made her feel chosen. Her reflections are warm, honest, and surprising—especiall...
What if the real intimacy killer isn’t your past, but how it gets dismissed? We dig into ways couples can invalidate each other’s stories—“It wasn’t that bad,” “You should be over it,” “That’s just your story”—and why those phrases shut down safety, trust, and depth. Drawing from our own marriage and years of coaching, we unpack the difference between knowing a partner’s facts and understanding the impact those moments w...
Brad and Kate explore how our personal stories and childhood experiences shape our marriage relationships in profound ways. Story work provides couples with a framework to understand recurring conflicts and create healthier patterns of interaction.
We invite you to start your own story exploration and join us next week as we continue our series on story work and its impact on marriage.
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