ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)
The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA. We strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism. Fellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:
Episodes
Most times, all that can be done is to take an action of love long before any positive feelings follow. Yet they do follow. It has also been said that closer union in God's will brings the internal loving disposition to his will even before action is taken. Sometimes those experiences come, and many times they don't, but either way, continuing to get out of one's comfort zone helps reveal how God wants to be served today.
This is a letter written by one of the intergroup representatives to our regional assembly on the occasion of the death of our delegate, Antonio S., in January 2026.
Tribute to our dear friend Antonio
Aristotle taught that honor does not belong to the individual, but to those who observe him. It is an external marker, the public recognition of a virtuous life. Today, the honor we attribute to Antonio is an accurate reflection of th...
The SA ICC walks an intergroup through the process of hosting an international convention that opens a channel for spiritual growth unique only found in service.
The opportunity to attend an international convention can lead to a recovery experience that will last for years to come. We listen to the experience, strength, and hope from many of our oldtimers. We make new and lasting friendships with members from around the world. ...
He stopped trying to obtain happiness his way and found it by living God’s way.
I can imagine myself from early in recovery saying something like: “positive sobriety??? How about just sobriety?? I can’t even stay sober, and now you tell me I need positive sobriety!? What the heck is that!??”
The Gardener of her soul prepared her to receive the garden of his presence, a Presence who is growing a new life that the butterfly of obsessive love could never give.
For many years, I lived chasing a butterfly. I believed that within it lay my breath, my meaning, and my joy. I thought that if I managed to catch it, my heart would stop feeling incomplete.
Focusing his attentions on others in service became more attractive than his self-interest.
Sobriety was not a possibility for me before starting the Program two and a half years ago. Years of escaping unpleasant aspects of life by fantasizing in my mind and finding ways to pleasure myself seemed unchangeable. Going to my escape drug was an ingrained habit leading me to a kind of despair and hopelessness. I was finally open to th...
Only God’s power can remove the blindness of self-centeredness and enlighten the eyes of service.
As a little child
God revealed to me
My entire day in one vision to see.
“Look,” said He,
“At all good things for you
In loving service to choose to do.”
Positive sobriety was not possible for him without positive steps and real connection with others.
I came into this Program seeking “negative sobriety”. By that I mean I wanted to negate acting out from my life. Like everything else up to that point, I thought I could do it on my own. If I read some literature, meditated a bit on all the things I’d done and sought absolution for them, bingo, I’d be cured. This was, of course, my e...
Connecting with a Higher Power by living in the solution, the 12 Steps, empowers her to serve other addicts, including those in the Service Structure.
For nearly my entire life, I acted in ways I knew weren't right. I said things that hurt me and harmed others. Sweet relationships were destroyed. It seemed like I couldn't help myself. I was driven by some insane urge for attention from men, and that one feeling that felt like conn...
A Journey of 90 Meetings in 90 Days
Attending solution-focused meetings and working on his first step inventory gave him different feelings and helped him better see the depths of his addiction.
September 11th
This morning in the meeting, there was a powerful atmosphere among the 25 participants. Someone shared a recognizable anecdote of my own disease: when another person shares about his acting out, which differs a lot from the o...
In living a life of selfless giving, he finds his needs, joy, and serenity supplied.
I've had several conversations over the last 24 hours about Step One. It seems to me that everything, right down to the core of my being, resisted admitting my powerlessness. This has been, quite possibly, the biggest hurdle in my recovery journey. Admitting complete defeat felt like dying; it felt like giving up; it felt like the end.
A life-changing condition forced this member to embrace self-care and God’s peace more fully, giving her more to offer others.
My journey through recovery has been a joy and a great challenge, because I have a number of medical conditions. I'd like to write from my heart about what positive sobriety looks like to me today.
She often forgets that being happy happens on the inside and not on the outside.
I often tell newcomers, so they know it is part of the process, that it is okay to feel the pain of quitting lust. I also tell them that it is not me who stopped or quit lust. It was my Higher Power and the company of SA’s women´s meetings that I stayed abstinent and didn’t commit any harm to myself. Even though I was abstinent, I wasn’t sober because ...
Practicing the 12 Step solution allows her to come into recovery and experience pain without numbing out.
“How can you lose your sobriety if you’re not even sober?!” I was listening to an old-timer when these words echoed in my ears. At that time, I had two years of sobriety, but I was sick and drunk.
When choosing between meditation to know God’s will and helping the person in need, God’s will was immediately revealed.
The Solution says, “We began practicing a positive sobriety, taking the actions of love to improve our relations with others” (SA 205). A recent experience that made me grow describes this quote. Last month, I visited my aunt. I spent money from my tight budget and traveled for over a day to visit her, since she...
He discovered that by living in the Steps, he found a spiritual home for himself in SA.
I did not come because I was full of hope;
I came when I’d run out of ways to cope.
I did not come because I loved the Steps;
I came when my life was tangled, a mess.
Integrity has to be practiced in every aspect of his life.
I’ve been seeing ads on social media offering a huge collection of books about psychology, therapy, healing, motivation, and self-improvement for only 100 Mexican pesos. A question arose in me: Could this be dishonest? I asked those people whether they were the authors of that material, and their answers were everything except “yes.”
He realized that following the experience of others didn’t diminish his manhood; it helped him live up to it.
Before coming to SA, I prided myself on being able to figure things out on my own. I work as a Firefighter in my local town and am known as the go-to guy when it comes to fixing things. So when I was told to take actions based on what other people had done, I struggled. Where was the pride in that? I felt as though this wa...
He learned the true meaning of what it means to be a winner.
I’ve never loved that saying because I was a chronic slipper. It sounds like there are winners and losers in recovery. But that’s not how our Fellowship works. A more honest version might be: “Stick with the sober members.” In SA, there are only two kinds of people—those who are sober today, and those who are not yet sober. Both belong here.
He realized that a business conversation that expresses interest in a woman without intentions to follow up is lust.
I'm a silent partner with a drug and alcohol recovery clinic in Atlanta. (For anonymity purposes—I'm not from Atlanta and don't live there). Last May, I flew down for a grand opening for our newly relocated facility. Grand openings are an opportunity for all the people in the industry to come and see what the new loc...
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