ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)
The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA. We strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism. Fellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:
Episodes
You are invited to read this “Editor’s Corner” in your home group during announcements.
The October 2026 edition of ESSAY Magazine celebrates that wonderful moment when we said “yes” to the God of our understanding. Nothing would ever be the same after that. The end of an old way of life gave way to a new one.
Dear ESSAY,
Hello, my name is Jason A., and I have been an active member of SA since 2020. I am also incarcerated in Illinois for a crime that was a result of my addictions. My old SA group has helped me stay connected since I started this sentence in 2023. I still need Recovery Continues, The Best of ESSAY, and perhaps a renewal of my ESSAY subscription. Once I am released, I want to get involved with SA and this ESSAY committee. ...
Shrinking his inflamed ego became possible by generously applying the solution of humility.
As a recovering sexaholic, I have always been an intense person. In my active disease, I demanded that the world revolve around my desires. When I finally hit the rooms and got a little sobriety under my belt, something wonderful happened; I started to look good. I cleaned up, my relationships stabilized, and the daily chaos stopped.
People-pleasing and true selflessness were two very different things that were not compatible with each other.
My understanding of selflessness has changed completely since working the Twelve Steps out of the Big Book.
I used to think selflessness meant always doing what other people wanted. I rarely shared my own opinions or desires. I tried to become the person I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I now see that w...
This test always gives him the correct indication of being in God’s will or in self.
There is an idea that changed my life. It is foundational to Step Three. It’s the reason this program works.
“I am a conduit suffering under the delusion that I am a container.” Self-delusion says that if I focus on filling myself up and getting what I want — comfort, control, attention, relief, pleasure, security &mda...
Taking other people’s temperature was a gateway into lustful intrigue.
I had no idea what the phrase “quit playing God” from Step Three meant. I thought it meant quit demanding people behave my way, and that circumstances go my way. It definitely means those things, but oh, so much more.
Step Three remained ineffective until getting unblocked from taking Steps Four through Nine.
When I was new in the Program and confronted with the need to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood Him, I felt I was doomed. I had already turned my life over to God in my early twenties, and I came into the Fellowship of SA at age 54. For over three decades, that decision—while providing great benefits in man...
Following the suggestion in the literature to accept outside help when needed was a deeper Step Three that drew her closer to God.
lW
To write about giving my life to God, I would like to take as a subject one of the less-quoted passages of the Big Book: “If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also.” (AA 87)
Trusting God’s plan for his disclosure led to many “God-incidences” that arranged the conversation perfectly.
Ever since joining SA, I’ve wanted to disclose to my wife. I was immediately cautioned to hold off.
After a few months, my sponsor agreed that we begin preparing. He had me call an old-timer to discuss the particulars, but this person didn’t respond for two weeks. I was anxious and was be...
Going constantly around and around in the ride of ups and downs of selfish gains and losses was broken by a third option—getting off the ride through surrender.
I was meditating and praying while putting my son to sleep today, and a metaphor came to my mind for living in the bondage of self.
Living in the bondage of self is like riding a carousel. A carousel is an amusement park ride with fake horses that people (usually chil...
Turning to God one moment at a time, one day at a time, is a way of life he is committed to with God’s help and the Fellowship’s support.
Made a decision. When I first came into recovery in 1998, I thought making a decision was a one-time event. Almost 30 years later, I've learned the hard lesson that I have to make a decision every day—sometimes multiple times a day. As my sponsor told me months ago, someti...
“Throughout our structure a traditional “Right of Appeal” ought to prevail, so that minority opinion will be heard and personal grievances receive careful consideration.”
Just because a minority exists does not mean that the minority gets ignored. Responsible recovery requires that we go out of our way to ensure that the minority gets ample opportunity to express its thoughts and feelings. We must avoid the ...
The Fellowship’s Support and accountability helped her take responsibility for her recovery and embrace the Program.
I was an 18-year-old girl, broken and abandoned, who had experienced many destructive relationships. I was very confused about my career, education, and family, and felt hopeless about the future.
Surrendering one expectation after another produced a cleaned slate at the end of the day.
One day it just seemed like nothing was going right, and I was getting angrier and angrier. I prayed the Serenity Prayer, and that helped some. Making a mental gratitude list helped as well by counting the things that were going right. Whatever I focus on increases, and now I was focused on the good rather than the bad.
In June, she presented Part One, the challenges of women in SA. Now she will focus on the solution as we know it today.
As a review, in Part One we looked at the following:
- Men feel threatened (fearful) by women in an SA meeting.
- Only 10% of SA members are women, compared to 30% in AA.
- Meetings don’t have readily available resources at hand to support a woman.
Being attentive during the day and surrendering all to God before bed helps him rest in acceptance.
Can I stop a bird from flying over my head? No. Can I stop that bird from building a nest in my hair? Yes. It’s the same thing with dreams. I can’t control what my subconscious mind does, but I can control how I respond.
He learned how to fire his old God and hire a new and caring one.
When I was a boy, I called out to God many times, especially when I was in pain. My father physically and verbally abused me. I begged God for him to die; I cried in prayer for things to be different. But the abuse got worse. It is hard to understand why this happened, and some things I may never understand.
The Tamil Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) Online Group celebrated its third anniversary with a two-day recovery workshop and fellowship.
The gathering was held on February 14–15, 2026, at Dhanam Foundation in Madurai, a historic temple city located in the state of Tamil Nadu in South India.
SA has been a source of great strength and recovery during a time when all hope seemed lost.
“You’re an addict.” I had spent the night in a cold jail cell on the worst day of my life. My wife was the first to tell me this truth, which I instinctively knew had to be right. I was definitely addicted to something and needed help.
The ESSAY’s December edition is “Amends: Straightening Out the Past”. We will be exploring the challenges that we faced when approaching this step that can sometimes be intimidating. How do members focus on the current step instead of being distracted by Step Nine? Some of us determined that our worst harms would never see the light of day. The wonder of the Steps is that we increase strength and power as we take ...
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