ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

A Letter of Concern to Us All

This is a portion of the SA Trustees’ letter to us all regarding the crisis of the Seventh Tradition. 

June, 2026

Greetings SA Groups,

We give thanks for you, your Group, and for the hope of recovery from sexual addiction you represent in your community. We all unite around the Fifth Tradition: “Each group has but one primary purpose &...

Recovery shows him the damage that swearing and sarcasm cause to others and to himself.

I most often raise my hand during SA meetings when a member’s share includes successive instances of swearing. I feel and see the pain in the speaker, and that pain projected at others in the room. I hear their self-hate and feel the words burying into my similarly wounded soul. I raise my hand and often take the member aside after the mee...

The Program taught her how to embrace every healing aspect of Recovery, Unity, and Service.

“What happened to you?” my grandmother asked. I was eight years old. Silence. I had been raped by my father. He told me if I told my mother, I would kill her; did that apply to my grandmother too? I took no chances and stayed silent. My fantasy world began, and I gained 30 pounds that year. The weight gain was protection from my ...

He learned boundaries that allowed him to share safely and listen attentively. 

There is a time to speak and a time to listen. I had to relearn how to talk and listen in the rooms in order to stay in the Fellowship and keep working the Steps. When I first came to the rooms, I was brash and egotistical. My unhelpful shares were full of platitudes of SA sayings and advice to think positively. Afterwards, I would wait for applaus...

Recovery was not something to observe on the sidelines of life, but rather something to be lived. 

When I first came into the Fellowship, I was confounded and confused. I had no idea how to recover and definitely no recovery experience to share. So, I simply sat in meetings and absorbed the knowledge, information, and, most importantly, the experience, strength, and hope (ESH) that others had and shared. This continued for mon...

The literature on sharing in meetings helped her apply boundaries to protect her sobriety.

One of the earliest pieces my sponsor recommended I read and journal my thoughts on was the section in the White Book called “Meetings—How They Work” (SA 185).  In particular, the “Meeting Guidelines” (SA 188-189). These pages set me up wonderfully for a lifetime of appropriate sharing and listenin...

Sharing responsibly allows him to thrive in healthy connections.

What is “Healthy”? For me, being healthy means letting go of the need to see everything as good or bad, right or wrong. Instead, it is about viewing life organically—focusing on functionality and balance, and asking, “Am I thriving?” It means being at peace with the tension between my weaknesses and strengths, my failures and accomplishme...

Tradition Three allows her to stay in SA and receive a life of recovery and growth.

I have been in SA for over eight years now. SA is my home. I’ve been told that I’m not a sexaholic and I don’t need this program. But I’m back today because I decided that Tradition Three states that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober–and for that, I qualify. I deci...

Catching recovery occurs when seeking continuous service and rather than seeking self-gratification.

While attending May’s Pittsburgh retreat, I saw many forms of service essential to the SA Program.

Service, one of SA’s Three Legacies, was the first opportunity the fellowship gave me to put others before myself without self-centered motives. It remains one of the primary ways I use the tools of the Program and my Highe...

A day to have as much fun as possible.

We had our first SA conference in a long time. It was different from most conferences because we tried something different. We had only a few meetings. A member from Melbourne spoke about how to build a strong Fellowship. A woman from Perth spoke about fear and resentment, and Jason told a powerful story of redemption in the SA prison space. A long-timer spoke about having fun in recovery.&nbs...

הוא למד גבולות שאפשרו לו לשתף בבטחה ולהקשיב בתשומת לב

יש זמן לדבר, ויש זמן להקשיב. אני הייתי חייב ללמוד מחדש איך לדבר ולהקשיב בחדרים כדי שאוכל להישאר בחברותא ולהמשיך את עבודת הצעדים. כשהגעתי לראשונה לחדרים, הייתי יהיר ואנוכי. השיתופים הלא מועילים שלי היו מלאים בסיסמאות נפוצות של SA, והייתי חוזר לעודד חשיבה חיובית. אחר כך הייתי ממתין לקבל את מחיאות הכפיים והחיוכים. כשלא קיב...