ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)
The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA. We strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism. Fellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:
Episodes
В “Анонимных Сексоголиках” он прошёл через такую трансформацию, что смог увидеть свою истинную личность.
Проблема не в этом!
Я присоединился к АС в 1999 году, в то время я проходил через личностный кризис, кризис в семье и других отношениях с людьми, мои чувства были в полном беспорядке. У меня не было никаких чувств, помимо гнева. Я точно знал, что делать, как быстро решить все проблемы, поскорее вернуться к “нормальной” жизни и п...
Работа по Шагам избавила её от стыда и перфекционизма - смертельной комбинации, которая не позволяла ей быть уязвимой.
Если я испытываю стыд, значит я ощущаю и уязвимость. Определение уязвимости звучит так: “это неспособность защитить себя от оскорблений, нападений и насмешек”. В словаре также упомянут “человек, нуждающийся в определённой заботе, поддержке или защите”.
Определение истинной проблемы и выход из состояния своеволия позволяют ему жить в вере и в согласии с волей Бога.
Мне хотелось бы дать некоторые определения, потому что я убеждён, что когда мы точно определяем проблему, то приближаемся к её решению. В моём понимании вина - это здоровое и вполне уместное ощущение неудобства, которое возникает, когда я причинил ущерб себе или кому-либо другому. Это встроенный механизм, напоминающи...
Dio ha rimosso la sua paura e l'ha sostituita con la fede e con le opere.
Per tutta la vita ero stato così legato dalla paura che avevo perso la speranza di liberarmi. Attraverso il lavoro sui Passi, una luce brillante alla fine di un tunnel lungo, freddo e buio ha improvvisamente brillato con un calore confortante. Ad ogni passo, tuttavia, le paure continuavano a incombere. L'uso del semplice strumento dell'inventario Paura-Fede m...
Lavorare i Passi sulla paura le ha permesso di agire sotto la guida di Dio.
Sono sposata da quasi 50 anni. Mio marito è stato incredibilmente crudele, ma ho sempre avuto paura di andarmene. La mia più grande paura è stata quella di non essere in grado di mantenermi, di rimanere senza casa.
I Passi hanno eliminato la vergogna e il perfezionismo, una combinazione letale che le impediva di mostrarsi vulnerabile.
Quando provo vergogna, mi sento vulnerabile. La definizione di vulnerabilità è “l'incapacità di proteggersi dall'essere feriti, attaccati o ridicolizzati”. Il dizionario menziona anche “una persona che necessita di cure, sostegno o protezione speciali”.
Quando provo vergogna per me stessa o per gli altri, tendo...
Gott nahm ihr die Angst und ersetzte sie durch Glauben mit Taten. Mein ganzes Leben lang war ich so sehr von Angst gefesselt, dass ich die Hoffnung auf Freiheit verloren hatte. Durch die Arbeit in den Schritten strahlte plötzlich ein helles Licht am Ende eines langen, kalten und dunklen Tunnels mit einer tröstlichen Wärme. Bei jedem Schritt tauchten jedoch weiterhin Ängste auf. Das einfache Werkzeug der Inventur von Angst zu Glaube...
AS hielt ihn nüchtern, während die Therapie ihm half, von Traumata und Scham zu heilen.
Meine Frau entdeckte meine Sucht zum ersten Mal, bevor wir verheiratet waren. Ich versprach, wenn sie mir noch eine Chance geben würde, würde ich den Rest meines Lebens damit verbringen, es bei ihr wieder gut zu machen. Das stellte sich als Lüge heraus. Sie entdeckte meine Sucht zum zweiten Mal, nachdem ich mich in eine rechtlich schwierige...
Die Arbeit in den Schritten bezogen auf die Angst ermöglichte es ihr, unter Gottes Führung zu handeln.
Ich bin seit fast 50 Jahren verheiratet. Mein Mann war unglaublich grausam, aber ich hatte Angst, ihn zu verlassen. Meine größte Furcht war, dass ich mich nicht selbst versorgen könnte, dass ich obdachlos würde.
Er erlebte eine Transformation durch AS, die ihm hilft, seine wahre Identität zu erkennen.
Das Problem ist nicht das Problem!
Als ich 1999 wegen persönlicher, familiärer und zwischenmenschlicher Krisen zu AS kam, waren meine Gefühle völlig durcheinander. Eigentlich hatte ich keine Gefühle außer Wut. Ich wusste ganz genau, was zu tun war und wie ich schnell alle Probleme in meinem Leben lösen konnte, um schnell wieder zu „normal“ zu...
Die Schritte befreiten sie von Scham und Perfektionismus, einer tödlichen Kombination, die sie daran hinderte, offen und verletzlich zu sein.
Wenn ich Scham empfinde, fühle ich mich verletzlich. Die Definition von Verletzlichkeit lautet: „Die Unfähigkeit, sich vor Verletzungen, Angriffen oder Spott zu schützen.“ Das Wörterbuch gibt außerdem an: „Eine Person, die besondere Fürsorge, Unterstützung oder Schutz benötigt.“
Das Erkennen des Problems und das Hinaustreten aus dem Selbst erlaubt ihm, im Vertrauen und im Willen Gottes zu leben.
Ich möchte diese Begriffe definieren, weil ich glaube, dass wir, wenn wir ein Problem genau definieren, auch die Lösung finden.
Identifier le problème et cesser son comportement égocentrique lui permet de vivre dans la confiance et dans la volonté de Dieu.
Je voudrais définir ces termes, car je pense que lorsque nous définissons précisément un problème, nous trouvons la solution. Je comprends la culpabilité comme le sentiment sain et approprié de malaise que je ressens lorsque j'ai causé du tort à moi-même ou à quelqu'un d'autre. C'est un rappel inné qui m...
It can seem that being happy and single are two ideas that don’t fit together. What a great discovery to learn that our joy does not rely on a relationship or even marriage! It relies on following the will of God through working the Steps.
In this edition of “Happy, Joyous, and … Single”, we will hear the many transformations that Higher Power has accomplished in members who embraced the single and sober path. One member shares how...
Dear ESSAY,
Greetings from India. I am Iris from India–grateful, recovering, and blessed lustaholic and sexaholic. My SA journey and sobriety began on May 25, 2021, one day at a time(ODaAT). I heard about ESSAY and its garden of recovery at the beginning of my SA journey. I was approached to be a part of ESSAY’s garden, and I blossomed through sharing 3–4 articles. ESSAY has been one of my very strong recovery tools. I am never suf...
One of SA’s 18 committees that helps to carry the message and serve the fellowship is the Support for Institutions and Professionals Committee (SIP). Formerly, it was called the Hospitals and Institutions Committee. Our mission is still the same, to inform institutions and professionals as to how SA can help restore and maintain their clients’ mental, emotional, and spiritual health. This committee’...
I broke up with my last girlfriend when I came to the program, after a two-year relationship. The reason was my shocking admission to the truth about myself—that I used her, trying to find a sense of self-worth at her expense, satisfy lust, and not feel lonely. This realization was painful, but honest and therefore healing. I saw that I had always had this kind of unhealthy attitude towards my partners. As long as I remained the s...
Time being single and sober has allowed her to hear Higher Power’s will for her.
I have been sober for several years now, and have taken my first steps toward recovery. By “recovery,” I don’t just mean working the Steps, but that I am literally “recovering.” I’m talking about healing and restoration.
This allows me to better discern the voice of my “lower self,” but also my “higher self.” My lower self wants to take things from th...
He discovered that being single allowed him to devote his whole life to God.
I was not put in this program by a spouse. I put myself here of my own volition. I don’t have to get found out or exposed because I have the opportunity to expose and find out about myself here in safety and connection with others, united in fellowship all across the world. I may not ever marry. It is possible that I could live a neo-monastic life in spiri...
God’s love and will in her life are all she needs, and anything else is extra.
I grew up with an urge to be a grandmother; I just loved the idea of having a family and children. I would name my daughter after the girl who sits on the last bench in my class. I was in first grade, and I looked at my crush and thought, “If we had a daughter, I would name her after my classmate who’s at the top of our class.” Cute, right? I chuckle bec...
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