Cruisin' for a Reviewsin' - Tom Cruise Movie Reviews

In a stunning case of the stars aligning perfectly for me, I wrapped up the filmography of Tom Cruise just before his latest film started showing in cinemas & I got to do my first live episode! What a time to be alive! I got to host a screening of the new Top Gun before sitting down with Ben McLeay in front of a live audience of very attractive people to talk about how sick this film was. We do our best to avoid spoilers & instead ...

We're down to the last film of Tom Cruise's filmography & it's probably one of the more obscure titles that apparently no one has seen or even heard of! I am joined by Frank to discuss this weird, unfunny & yet strangely self aware "teen sex comedy" that we both really enjoyed despite it being truly terrible in every way. Join us as we discuss Tom's youthful beauty, horny cars, Carol Brady kissing teen boys, racist tropes, donkey s...

As we draw super close to the end of Tom Cruise's filmography, we're finally watching the 1st film he was ever cast in which is absolutely god awful. He has only one scene (where he squeezes in a surprising amount of Tom Cruisisms) & the rest of the film is absolute trash. Join Emma & I as we mock this film mercilessly & discuss a variety of topics such as how Brook Shields was exploited from a very young age, how the 80s were just...

Lauren & I finish off our review of this film in our usual casual, meandering style, with lots more Autism chat. We also discuss our love of KMart undies, farts, our thoughts on Forrest Gump & that time Tom Cruise dated queer icon, Cher! Once again, this is your WARNING that we swear a lot in this episode so please don't be mad at us, It's called self expression, Helen!

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It's finally time to tackle the film I had the most apprehension about. But luckily I am joined once again by Lauren who was diagnosed with ASD in the last year & was able to give lots of great insight into their experience with autism & what this film got right & wrong. Join us as we also discuss tiffs with dads, women in sneakers, hating billionaires, Titanic theatre restaurants & much more. WARNING: There's lots of swearing in t...

Scott & I wrap up our review of this slick Grisham adaption where Tom Cruise spends a lot of it running for his life. For a film that has such a non-sexy conclusion (unless you think mail fraud is sexy, I suppose), it's really bloody enjoyable from start to end. Join us as we talk more about the appeal of Tom Cruise & why the couch thing wasn't a big deal, how we wish JK Rowling would piss off, the never ending stream of Marvel mov...

In another shocking twist, this week's guest has also seen this film but not for ages so it almost doesn't count, maybe? I am joined by Scott to discuss a film we both really enjoy but oh my god, so much happens! Join us as we discuss everything from time zones (we simply do not understand 'em), the Fast & the Furious franchise, how good a lawyer Tom Cruise would have been if he hadn't gotten into acting, horny grieving, boat explo...

Maria is back to tell me all about that time she met Tom Cruise! She gives all the goss on how the most famous movie star operates at a film premiere & the differences between a 40 minute interview with Tom & 10ish minutes with Russel Crowe. We also chat about entertainment journalism in general, ageing in Hollywood (including why you shouldn't go to the baseball the day after getting fillers) & lots, lots more!

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I'm mixing up the format for this episode by having another guest who has already seen the film & also barely discussing the film at all. I am joined by Maria Lewis who absolutely hates this film & explains to me why the 1st Jack Reacher film was so god in her professional opinion. Join us as we discuss internet cafes, big cums, Halloween street parties, pointless daughters, vampires & a million other things that barely relate to t...

As Bart & I conclude our review of TAPS, we realise how much of a bummer this film is! Turns out a film about fanatical youths caught up in the military industrial complex isn't a total hoot. Who knew? Join us as we discuss Toms ripped bod (again), what on earth the National Guard is & how few uniforms they seem to have, psychological warfare & how Scientology made Tom Cruise's voice better.

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There aren't many Tom Cruise films that have been lost to the ages but TAPS seems to be one of the rare ones that very few people are aware of. I am joined by Bart to discuss this film about a military school & its fanatical students trying to save it from closure. Join us as we discuss rhythmic gun-nastics, the many outfit changes (including an abundance of sashes), children having access to guns & mortars, Sex & the City and war ...

Phoebe is back to share some fun Tom Cruise trivia with me & we get a little bit manic (like, I can barely string my sentences together, oops lol). Join us as we pay out on Robert Downey Jr, Fast & the Furious 9, Tenet, Christopher Nolan & Idris Elba's poor film role choices. We also discuss what we'd let Disney do with our likenesses after we die, how Black Widow really did come out a year too late, Tom Hardy's hilarious accents &...

Phoebe & I wrap up our review of American Made by making fun of it & the director Doug Liman a bunch. We also cover the complete lack of vice in a film that's literally about smuggling drugs into the US during the 80s, shoehorning in references to US presidents for no good reason, how poorly the women fare in this story & how Tom Cruise is a big neat freak.

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I've talked a lot about how Tom Cruise almost exclusively picks action movies to star in these days but there has been one exception; this movie! I am joined by Phoebe to discuss how little we actually know about 80s North/Central American history, how much we dislike seeing Tom doing sex scenes, Hollywood versions of true stories, plus we randomly (but justifiably) make fun of Matt Damon a lot! 

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