The Confident Swinger Podcast

When you're feeling wonky, it's helpful to have some tools for managing those feelings. This is a tool you can use. It's called Give 5, and it's designed for you to ask yourself what you need in that moment, and to give it to yourself. To focus on that giving energy, out of love for yourself. 

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I recently started a new job, and I couldn't help but notice the similarities between being uncomfortable in starting a new job and being uncomfortable in new LS events. So many people REALLY try to avoid feeling uncomfortable, because it's hard. But, LIFE is uncomfortable!
Today, I give you some tips for dealing with uncomfortable situations when you are in them, when you are neck deep in the uncomfortable weeds. AND...

Recently, I read a post from a man who had spent a lot of time building up his confidence, only to have it beaten down when someone labeled him as creepy and harassy (my word, not his, or hers). He has since built himself back up, but is still in what he considers the Stalemate of Confidence, where he feels good about himself, but is still unable to approach new people.

I thought this was such an interesting situation, and...

Chad joins me this week, and even takes the lead as we talk about sexual performance anxiety. It's something that most people struggle with at least occasionally, and it can really get into your head. On this episode, we talk about some ways to deal with the dreaded sexual performance anxiety and give you some tips for getting out of your head.

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Yeah, so, I was wrong. A couple of weeks ago, I did an episode about why being selfish was a good thing. It was titled, Want to be Confident? Be selfish.

And in theory, yes, my premise was that it is important for you to focus on yourself, and your own needs. And THAT is why being selfish is a good thing. but I was wrong. I was wrong about being selfish being a good thing. Because when you are being selfish, you are really...

In this episode, Jo talks about goal setting and why it's important. And she talks about some goals that she had set, and how some of those have been met. 

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the waitlist for the upcoming Get Out of Your Head (& into their bed) program:
Sign Up (theconfidentswinger.com)

Send Jo some p...

One of the things that a lot of people seem to want, and seem to struggle with, is making friends in the LS.

Today, Jo talks about ways to build those deep friendships. And the biggest takeaway is that you need to be a friend to yourself, first.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the waitlist for the upcoming Get Out of Your Head...

In this episode, Jo talks about how being selfish is REALLY not the bad thing that everybody thinks it is. And further, she talks about how being selfish is really the key to being truly confident.

Support the Show.

Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the waitlist for the upcoming Get Out of Your Head (& into their bed) program:
Sign Up (theconfiden...

Jo shares more about an incident that she a few weeks ago with a woman and her coffee and the NO OUTSIDE FOOD AND DRINK rule. And she shares why this triggered her so much. Spoiler alert... it's not really about the drink, it's about respect and consent. 

Consent is kind of like trying to bring outside food and drink into a place that doesn't allow it. Some people are going to respect that; actually, MOST pe...

For a lot of people, especially people who struggle with confidence and insecurities, it's really important that people like them. It's something they spend a lot of time worrying about; what if people won't like me.

In this episode, Jo talks about why you DON'T want everyone to like you. This is a great episode if you are a people pleaser, because it just might change your perspective about the people ...

Happy Tuesday! In today's episode, Jo talks about why she thinks it's important to be a selfish lover. Sure, you may think she's crazy for believing that. And maybe she is, but maybe she's not.  She breaks down why she believes it's important for you to focus on YOUR wants and needs, FIRST. It's really the only way to truly BECOME a great lover. So, yes, be selfish. Do it!

Today's episode...

Chad's sick, so I'm doing a super quick episode today, so that I can focus on taking care of him. So I present, Jo's Cardinal Rules of Relationships. Enjoy!

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the waitlist for the upcoming Get Out of Your Head (& into their bed) program:
Sign Up (theconfidentswinger.com)

Sen...

In this episode, Jo gets deep into why it's important to listen to your body. And she talks about what makes that challenging, and of course, she gives some tips to help. It really can make all the difference between getting the results you want, like, you know, connecting with other people,  and getting left behind, swimming in disappointment.

Get on the waitlist for the upcoming NEW & IMPROVED Get Out of Your He...

One of the things that a lot of couples struggle with in the LS is finding that elusive 4-way connection. The one where both couples are attracted to each other, and the dynamics line up, and everyone has a good time. 

I have some thoughts, some things to consider, to hopefully make finding that 4-way connection a little easier for you. 

Check out the Yes No Maybe list for Swingers:
https://www.theconfidentswi...

Jo's a little drunk, but today, she's talking about the dangers of setting an expectation. And why setting an intention is a much better idea. You'll get better results in the lifestyle if you set an intention, because YOU are in control, and you are not dependent on other people.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the wait...

Communication is important, we all know that. AND, we all know it's difficult, for various reasons. BUT, I think the real reason that communication is hard is because the real breakdown in communication is between you... and you.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the waitlist for the upcoming Get Out of Your Head (& into their b...

Jo shares a late-night story with you... well, more like early morning story, as she ponders possibilities. 

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov

Join the waitlist for the upcoming Get Out of Your Head (& into their bed) program:
Sign Up (theconfidentswinger.com)

Send Jo some panties! Size large or xl; send them to PO Box 294 St...

Self-images are like assholes... everybody's got one! It's how you self identify, how you see yourself, the roles that you play. But unlike your asshole, you're not just "stuck" with the one you've got. You get to decide!

It's easy to get really attached to our self-image, and that can be dangerous. Because it can hold us back from exploring different possibilities. Even having a "po...

Jo, and Chad, talk about new beginnings. It's New Year's day, and it's a great time to reset and talk about new beginnings. We all get complacent and stuck in a routine from time to time, so we took this opportunity to talk about how WE both want to start the new year, and how we want to embrace the Lifestyle in 2024.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by ...