SG Fun: A Stargate Podcast

Season 5 Episode 21: Meridian

Daniel Jackson has a pity party extreme all because he’s definitely dying a painful death for having saved a planet Colonic from self-destruction ala naquadria experiments.

He definitely does die though. Like, the end, that’s it, no more Deeej to kick around. Except that he’s an egg-drop-soup-but-in-air-instead-of-water being of light now. And also corporeal in Season 7. But totally he does die. Sort ...

Season 5 Episode 20: The Sentinel

So over on Latona we have your basic planet of these guys: “Yo, our forebears made us a cool shieldy kind of thing and then we all got real, super dumb and have no idea how it works. Well, except that one guy NID murdered.”

The result? Of that plus not being Daddy’s favorites? SG-9 is dead and SG-1 has to get some a-holes out on work release to help fix the set of Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In befor...

Season 5 Episode 19: Menace 

We meet the Proto Borg Robot that MADE the Replicators eons ago.  She exclaims that DADDY MADE ME WRONG!  Daniel doesn't hear any of that ableist nonsense and tries to help her.    That and everyone else's (except Teal'c, bless him) bad decisions end up with Replicators ON THE BASE!  

This has to be the end, right?  Well, no, because GENERAL ACTION DADDY joins the fray, puts on a black T-shirt, packs so...

Season 5 Episode 18:  The Warrior

Well, Teal and Bray Bray go see that the Jaffa Rebellion is alive and well in the hands of a charismatic leader, a man who is SUPER into keeping the rebels fed, SUPER loves help from the SGC, and SUPER DUPER hates the idea and usage of suicide bombers in his outfit.  

Actually, he LOOOOOVES all that, so O'Neill is like, "Nah, wrong Jaffa Rebellion.  Let's roll out Teal'c!"  But Teal'c apparently su...

Season 5 Episode 17: Fail Safe

You GUYS! The Gate Gang litrally hyperdrives through planet Earth! I didn’t even know they could do that! And it is soooo much smarter than blowing it up.

The Gooolds try to sabotage/destroy Earth without openly violating their Assguard treaty and that’s what happens because between you and me, I don’t  think those little grays even care about the Tauri. Tau’ri? Taur’i?

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Season 5 Episode 16:  The Last Stand

Yeah, that’s right, Deej continues to come close to murdering some System Lords only to back off at the last minute, ruining the whole situation. Very Frustrating! Small compensation at least that he totally misses out on that nonconsensual body-sharing shit over in the crystal caves when Lantash simply has to have Lt Elliot or he’s “gonna die”.

Also, maybe the System Lords are sort of…losing t...

Season 5 Episode 15:  Summit

For the love of fuck, every time I watch this episode I get detonate-the-bomb blue balls. DJ is a horrible kill-all-the-system-lords tease. 

Zipacna, the coolest Gooldie of them all, is at least getting some work done, as the Tokra are TUH-OAST with the attack of Gou'ld fleet.   Will Daniel grow at LEAST a single, and pull the trigger.  Find out next week.  Two-parter biz-natches!

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Season 5 Episode 14:  48 hours

Teal’c is buffering. Literally. Like, he’s operating from an AOL CD, so we won’t see him but for the first and final three seconds of the episode.

It has also come to the attention of these dear pod hosts that this one horrible hot pile of steaming microwave-reheated cat turds by the name of Dr. McKay is somehow a beloved regular on Atlantis? Frozen Siberian Tundra must do wonders for the soul, becau...

Season 5 Episode 13:  Proving Ground

Listen. Look. These cadets are almost like having a kid leading the episode. It’s whatever, but for some reason the SG-C is designing elaborate scenarios to get the Big Top Boy cadet to pass the training even though the Dainty Little Miss cadet is already there at the start of the episode with no extra help? As a great man once asked, “Why don’t you put her in charge?”

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Season 5 Episode 12:  Wormhole X-Treme

I know the one where Sam and MacNeil basically express their romantic love for each other because they’re separated by a goooold shield wall thingy and think they’re dying is also good, OK.  But in this episode, frequent double dipping creative consultant Peter DeLouise makes sure we know whom he’d cast as Colonel Jack O’Neill with two els, his wee little brother. So meta, so fun.

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Season 5 Episode 11: Desperate Measures

Jack’s real bestie is back in town baybee! Hutch. Or Starsky. Carter cannot literally not even catch a break! She is kidnapped leaving the gym, a fantastic reason to never work out. Or leave the house.

Anyhoozle, that Jolinar schtick really bites her in that ass this week. Ultimately the Gate Gang comes out on top in this one. Wild, I know.

Also, HAPPY 100 EPISODES TO US!  Help us celebrat...

Season 5 Episode 10:  2001

Hey y'all, remember in the Episode "2010" when the note that got through the gate was O'Neil's.  Not Daniel's, not Sam's, but Macguver's quite minimalistic, "DON'T GO HERE!"  followed by the planet number.

Well, turns out it would have been nice if he had added the word "Ashen People", "Sterility," "Fuck these Assholes,"  ANYTHING, because we almost GET what happened in 2010 come to pass because, turns ...

Season 5 Episode 9: 

Can you even?! These sanctimonious Tolan dicks (who let’s not forget know how to separate gooooolds from hosts but keep it to themselves and help like, um no one) continue to demonstrate that they are selfish little twats.

They try to sell out Earth to that huge prick Tanith. Narim is the best Tolan and probably Sam’s best boyfriend in the series, so it is a huge bummer that he chooses to stay behind on a doom...

Season 5 Episode 8:  The Tomb

In this Fraggle Rock/SG-1 crossover from Hell, the Gate Gang and their Russian pals get chased (and in some cases horrifically killed) by the grossest Fraggle.

Luckily one Russian survives to prove that SG-1 didn’t do a whole bunch of murders on the Russians. So yeah, post-Cold War relations are probably leading to a pretty great future of abundance and cooperation. Mostly though, THAT IS NOT A PYRAMI...

Season 5 Episode 7:  Beast of Burden

Sooooo, remember in like episode four of this whole entire series when Daniel Jackson was like maybe rape is just part of their way of life and we definitely shouldn’t intervene in this one happening right in front of us? Yeah, he’s equally squishy on at least race-based slavery.

These white saviors plus Teal’c get some Unas killed during their rescue only to get to the gate and find out the Un...

Season 5 Episode 6: Rite of Passage

Remember that little alien kid who is also human and was also a big bomb that only love could disarm? Somehow she is 16! What! What’s the passage-of-time sitch on this show? Very soap operatic at the moment.

So Cassy kissed a boy, Dominic, and I guess hated it? She’s sick as fuck now. I guess her horny teen hormones have activated some goooldy science experiment Janet failed to detect. Side note...

Season 5 Episode 5:  Red Sky

 WOOF, did the Gate Gang ever fuck up. They’ve punched a whole in someone’s sun and now the whole planet of like 30 people is dying but refusing to relocate. I mean, more people would fit in a city bus, but OK sure, stay and die.

Those annoying Disneyland-esque Hall of Viking God’s holograms are in this one, hooray for sure. Oh! MacNeill literally almost chokes a man to death. The Asgard do bail them o...

Season 5 Episode 4:  The Fifth Man

Remember last week when MacNeill acted like Sam was loonsaroony for having an invisible stalker? Ha! Now he’s risking his whole life for his good buddy who isn’t really real but should be because ay ai ai, have you seen this man?

I mean, it does turn out he is not even half as fine as his profile pic, but I guess that’s pretty typical. He’s a benign liar whom they would have helped out anyway and...

Season 5 Episode 3:  Ascension

Can we talk about this situation with Sam’s boyfriends? Like, super advanced, super down to die for her, super fucking creepy. This one is the most.

Meanwhile her true lover boy MacNeill is treating her like she’s cray because he somehow cannot believe, after all they’ve seen, that she has an alien stalker. Stalkerman does go all human for her, but like who even asked him to? Also he builds a cute li...