Somebody Save Me: The Official, but MOSTLY Unofficial, Smallville Podcast

NEWS FLASH: Everyone Finds Out Lana Sucks!

Lanaville's Journal: November 8th, 2007. Tonight, an insane woman becomes superhuman and cheats on her "boyfriend" by making out with her ex-husband.

After another freak accident with Kryptonite and lightning ("Leech" iykyk), Lana is transferred Clark's powers. Lana then goes on an evil escapade in order to expose Lex's past and his secrets to the entire ...

Kara, Pt. II: The Story That's Not About Lara

This week we finally get our first glimpse of Krypton in a flashback between Kara and her father, Zor-El, before the planet's destruction.

Since Kara ran away from the farm because Clark is friends with a martian (racist much, Kara?), she has been trying to track down her Kryptonian crystal. Kara gets in over her head and Special Agent Carter captures her in order to extr...

Lights, camera, and...CLANA SUCKS!!!

After a murder attempt goes wrong on the set of the new Warrior Angel movie, actress Rachel Davenport is taken under Clark's wing until they find the killer. Lionel finally reappears, but is being held captive at a weed farm. Lana continues to scheme and tell lies. Lois investigates more into the Luthors, specifically Lex's lab at the dam and the properties around it. Chloe is no...

Smallville Presents: C.K. vs Doctor C.K.

The Battle of the Immortals is here!

Dr. Curtis Knox, a famous neurosurgeon, is introduced this week as an immortal man curing the meteor-infected. But Curtis seems to have his own agenda: taking the organs of certain patients in order to make his wife immortal. Before Chloe even does any research, she decides to ditch Jimmy to go get the cure from Dr. Knox. Clark sets out to stop her...

Miss Sweet Corn v The Weather Girls

It's time for the 100th Smallville Harvest Festival and what better way to bring in its new citizen than a beauty pageant filled with meteor freaks?

Kara gets bored and enters the beauty pageant, against Clark's wishes (lame-o). Three new meteor-infected hotties from out of town plan to steal Smallville's secret treasure, which happens to have a Kryptonian secret. Lana is still...

Kara, the Last Daughter of Krypton

In the aftermath of Reeves Dam blowing up, Lois finds a red Kryptonian spaceship before it vanishes. The Daily Planet's new tool of an editor wants Lois to find out more and also hates Chloe. Clark finds out he has a super-hot-girl cousin named Kara Zor-El. Lex pulls off the impossible by winning Pervert of the Year. Oh and Lana is alive...who knew?!

Laura Vandervoort (Instant Star, V, ...

Today's top story: The House of El sucks!

Welcome back for another round of the Smallville Legends stories with your two favorite hosts. Smallville meets Game of Thrones? Count us in.

We dive deep into the origin story of our newest Smallville character, Kara a.k.a. Supergirl, and the events that led her to Earth. Krypton is on the brink of destruction and it seems to be intentional through the secret actions of Kara...

New season, new Bizarro problems...?

The era of Seventh Heaven Season begins.

We continue the fight between Clark and Bizarro Clark that lasts the entire episode. John Jones comes to Clark to talk nonsense. Bizarro Clark becomes a kryptonite addict. Lois takes Chloe to the hospital to die and be resurrected. Lex gets saved and decides to prepare his legal defense for Lana's "murder".

Phil Morris returns for anot...

The Award Show, Pt. VI

We're so f**king back and we're SO f**king better!

Welcome back to our award show tradition for this bonkers of a sixth season. We return with plenty of categories with tons of nominations (big thanks to all the fans). As a surprise, we even brought back a special guest host for the end.

Thank you to the new listeners and ESPECIALLY our ride-or-dies for staying with us on this wonderful ride of ...

Town of Smallville v Phantom of Quebec

Season 6 is officially a wrap, bringing us the last phantom and this one is quite...bizarre.

John Jones, a.k.a. Martian Manhunter, finally makes his return only to get severely wounded by the last phantom near a village in Quebec. Lex has been attempting to capture the phantom in order to take its DNA for his super army. Lana decides to leave Lex, and Clark…? Clark teams up with John Jo...

Lois and Amazo sitting in a tree, k-i-l-l-i-n-g...?

Ghost Recon meets Predator meets Amazo meets Smallville.

Former U.S. special forces soldier, Wes Keenan, returns from the dead as a programmed superhuman killing machine that's under Lex's control. After a deal goes wrong with Senator Burke, Lex unleashes his new super assassin to kill him. Lex succeeds, but Lois is left as a witness and recognizes Wes as a childhoo...

Smallville's extra, extra! Read all about it!

That crackerjack kid Jimmy wants to secretly bang Luthor's dame...yahhhhseeee?

Chloe and Jimmy's date night gets ruined by Lana (typical) when she ends up gunned down at the Daily Planet. #Lanaville. Someone ends up knocking Jimmy into his favorite noir film era. As he dreams of his alternative 1940s detective fantasy, he ends up finding clues to solve the real "...

Clark v Lex: The Trial of Friendship

What happens when you mix Tomb Raider with plastic bombs and two ex-best friends in a tunnel system underneath the city? Answer: Lana the Liar, Smallville Sheriff

Lex gets kidnapped by a soldier looking for her "dead" husband and threatens to blow up the tunnel system they're in if he doesn't reveal the information. Since Clark is a hero, he tries to rescue them. Since Lex...

Sullivan v Luthor: Who's crazier?

Since Gabe the Critter is long dead, why not bring the other parent that was never around? Her name: Moira Sullivan, top-grade meteor freak with the worst case of Smallville Coma you've ever seen. After Lex wakes up Chloe's mom from a catatonic state he uses her ability to control other meteor-infected people, which includes Chloe herself. Clark and Chloe work together to try an...

Smackdown: Smallville Edition

Can you smell what C.K. is cooking? Did you guess a knuckle sandwich for a new phantom? You guessed right! Clark and Chloe snag a lead on another phantom zone escapee, Titan, who happens to be a part of an underground fight club for meteor freaks. You'll never guess who is behind it all. Lois is back and needs a story to keep her job, so why not tag along and possibly die? As for Lana and L...

Abducted: A Smallville Story

A scheme involving a doctor and Lex gets revealed where they use Tobias, a blind kid, to spot out meteor-infected people to use for their research. After Chloe is revealed to be one of them, she gets kidnapped, experimented on and returned with no recollection of the entire event. Clark and Jimmy team up to protect Chloe and, with Tobias' help, put a stop to Dr. Bethany's experiments . M...

Scream: The Lanaville Edition

What's your favorite scary...chisel?

Smallville's classic seasonal trend makes a return when a random, obsessive stranger decides to stalk, the one and only, Lana Lang. Lana then asks for help from Chloe who then asks Clark to help with getting Jimmy's help because they broke up. All so Lana can look for secrets in Clark's underwear drawer. Also, R.I.P. Brady!

Aaron Ashmore...

Love Potion No. 9

It's that time of the year again...VALENTINE'S DAY!

Our boy Kal makes a lovely return after Lois kisses him with red kryptonite "love" lipstick, which puts her under its own love spell. Now unhinged, Clark decides to take his new lady to crash his favorite couple's engagement party, Lex and Lana, which even Martha is in attendance for (gross).

Aaron Ashmore (K...