April 8, 2024 • 35 mins
Dr. Flo Rosen, AKA Ask Bubbie, joins The Bright Side for our regular “Grand Ol’ Grannies” segment with our favorite advice-giving grandmas. The former pediatrician turned TikTok phenom drops some truth bombs about gentle parenting, keeping sane with a fussy child, and when the best time is to visit new parents. Plus, Danielle and Simone discuss the solar eclipse, bachelorette parties, and Mel B getting kicked out of the Spice Girls chat. Which Spice Girl are you? Send us a voice memo at hello@thebrightsidepodcast.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming episode.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What up bright Side Besties, Hello Sunshine. Today on the
bright Side, our segment, Grand Old Granny's is back with
parenting advice from Doctor Flow Rosen aka TikTok's very favorite Grandma.
Ask Bubby, it's Monday, April eighth.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm Danielle Robey and I'm Simone. Boys. This is the
bright Side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
This is the first time we are recording apart sea money.
Where are you recording from? Are you stuck in a
little closet?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Where are you? I am at a hotel in Madina,
New York, because I am here to witness the total
eclipse of the sun later on today.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
If I threw a dart onto a map, you think
I would find it.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's a tiny, tiny little town. I have a lot
of my dad's family from here, so this is actually great.
I get to catch up with my family members that
I never see, and we're gonna watch this phenomenon take place.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I'm so excited you're there because you're gonna give us
a first hand account of what it was all.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Like yes coming to tomorrow. You can hear my loud
breathing and reactions and oohs and ahs as I witness
the solar eclipse.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You know, I don't mean to get deep, but I
do think that there's this amazing feeling that humans get
with awe awe, and so I hope you feel some awe.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'm excited to hear about it. That's what I'm looking for.
But first we're going to get into what's popping on
our feeds today. This is your morning drip, Danielle. We
have some very big news from our Hello Sunshine family.
Who is it? Big news and an exciting update for
all the Elwoods fans out there. So, a TV series
inspired by Legally Blond is currently in development at Amazon.
(01:41):
It is happening people.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
We've all been wanting more el Woods, like I watched
Legally Blonde on almost every airplane ride.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I'm on now I'm going to get new content totally.
It's ubiquitous. It's a seminal film for feminists, for just
Hollywood in general. This comes up a lot though, when
we're working on the show and doing interviews with folks
on the show, they talk about how Elle Woods has
inspired them to pursue law or politics. I mean, the
impact is just immeasurable from this one character.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I don't think I realized it when I was growing
up because I just loved the movie. I thought it
was so fun and I loved watching her outfits and
her friendship with her sorority sisters. But I actually watched
recently on a plane ride to New York and realized
how well it stood up, Like not every movie from
that time stands the test of time in terms of
how culture is spoken about, and it really does stand up.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And you can bet we're going to be getting that
same quality because Reese Wetherspoon is back as one of
the series executive producers. I mean, I cannot wait for this.
We're gonna have to have some sort of bright Side
launch party for this.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
She produces our podcast and legally Blonde the series How
Cool Is That?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Very also exciting.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Sex in the City is now available on Netflix, So
for those of you like me that love Sex in
the City, you'll remember it's triumphant run on HBO in
the late nineteen nineties and early two thousands, And I
think it's kind of surreal to see the sitcom vault
into the Netflix Top ten.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
That means gen Z is watching too, I think.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
And until last year, HBO had a policy where they
weren't licensing their shows to Netflix.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So now I think you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Get to decide if you're a Carrie, A Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte,
or a mix on multiple platforms.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Which one are you?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I always felt like I was a mix between Carrie
and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
How about you? I honestly don't know enough about it
to say who I am. I did not watch it.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I feel like we need a weekend to lay in
bed and watch this show. I feel like you, it
like encapsulates so much of your dating life in your
twenties and thirties.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I don't know, does it I don't personally, I don't
know that it represents me or I don't know that
I actually saw myself in the show necessarily. It's fair.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
There is a huge lack of representation in the original series,
and that's been talked about a lot. But I do
think that women who date their twenties and thirties see
parts of themselves in that show no matter what. Like
there's just a sisterhood too, that's really fun. You know
what was my Sex and the City Girls.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
That was my version. It was like a little bit quirkier,
a little bit more off kilter, it.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I didn't love the show as much. I hear what
it was that awkward humor and I love that. Yeah,
it was very Brooklyn centric.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, all right, Danielle. Personal question, how many group chats
are you currently involved in at this moment in time.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I don't feel like that's that personal. I'm involved in
probably like four group chats. One is with my family.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Damn, that's a lot. No, Well, what's considered a group
you know, that's a good question. I feel like a
group chat is like a gaggle of people. It's got
to be. It's a gaggle like eight to ten. Maybe
let's talk about a group chat that has five members
in it, or at least had five members in it.
Because Melby from The Spice Girls recently revealed that she
(04:56):
actually got kicked out of the Spice Girls chat in
twenty nineteen. This is egregious. Can you believe it?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
The Spice Girls are five girls. You can't have four
girls and the Spice Girls. Okay, Well, she wasn't actually
kicked out of the band. She was kicked out of
the group chat. And here's why this is her crime.
She apparently leaked intel from the chat about a possible
Spice Girls reunion tour. So this is actually very very
exciting news. I mean, it feels like that's worthy of
getting kicked out.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
She can't be trusted. Group chats are sacred. I'm still
stuck on the fact that a thirtieth reunion tour might
be in the works. Are you gonna be there?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Spice Girls set up my entire life, Like I was
Spice Girls obsessed. I watched that movie over and over again,
Spice World, Oh my God. I wanted to look like them,
and dress like them and eat lollipops like them.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I was obsessed eat lollipops like them. I'm sorry, can
you elaborate?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
They had Spice Girls lollipops, and I just begged my
mom to buy them so I could be like them.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
That is so obscure. The Spice Girls are woven into
every major memory I have, pretty much from childhood. In
the nineties, I was at a sleepover when I found
out that Princess Diana died and we were all dressed
up as Spice Girls at that time, so I now
associate her passing with the Spice Girls. It's like they're
(06:15):
extricably linked to everything from my childhood.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I do think there's something actually, like culturally deeper here,
which is girl groups, specifically like pop music girl groups
like Destiny's Child. They I think really inspired women to
feel that sisterhood, to feel collaborative, to be not competitive
with each other in a way that maybe like other
(06:38):
generations didn't have. That's true, and so I think the
Spice Girls actually had more to do with feminism than
we give them credit for.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, one hundred percent, Which Spice girl do you identify
with the most now or then? Then? Well, actually I
want to know both.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Okay, Then I was obsessed with Ginger. I loved her
red hair, and I felt like she had like all
these like sexy outfits. It's with her, like British flag
tank tops or dresses. Now, I think I would be
sporty Spice, but she wasn't as cool back then.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
But that's really the real me.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, Like I'm in sneakers and workout clothes.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
How about you? This question is a little bit triggering
for me because as a biracial girl with curly hair,
you were and usually you're the only one who looks
like that in your friend group, at least where I
grew up. Yeah, you have no choice, but to be
scary Spicce. You were forced to be scary Spicce every time,
and no shade to Melbe. But I just wanted to
have different options. All the other girls got options whenever
(07:36):
we were playing dress up, so I always I always
had an affinity towards Baby. We actually share the same birthday.
But now I totally agree. I am sporty spice in
my day to day life. Yes, no, you really are
like crop tops, sports spras cargo pants. I'm all about it.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
We both lean heavy into the sports girl aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I think you just you graduate into the spice lifestyle
as you get older. It's more comfortable. Okay, speaking of
girl group Speaking of girl groups, Okay, I actually do
have a few group chats in my phone right now,
and one of them is all about a bachelorette party
and it's kind of taking over my whole life. Oh
my god.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Bachelorette parties are the bane of my whole existence. I
have friends now, like my really close friends know not
to invite me to their bachelorette parties.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And why are you laughing? That's not a great thing.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
No, it's a loving thing, because then I don't have
to lovingly decline.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Oh wow, okay, keep going, keep going. I never want
to be seen in a penis hat. Ever. I here's
the thing.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I was invited to a bachelorette my good friend Chelsea,
and we went to college together, and she's the kind
of friend that I knew it was really important to her.
So I couldn't say no, because it's like for sometimes
you give right.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, So I went.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It was in Nashville. She rented the most gorgeous airbnb.
Like when I tell you, we were all living in
the lap of luxury. It was so fun to all
be together, our college friends were all together. But by
night too, I was like, I'm out, and they all
went out and I went back to the Airbnb and
fell asleep on my nice bed.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Okay, well, let me tell you about this new trend
that I saw in the New York Times, because this
might be your opt out please for bachelorette parties. Okay, so,
instead of a bachelorette party, apparently, wellness weekends are the
new thing to do. So you don't have to have
this like blowout, hangover style epic bachelorette weekend, but you
can just host a slower, soothing wellness centered weekend where
(09:43):
you and your bridal party just get to relax. I mean,
I'm obsessed with this.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
That sounds great, right, Invite me to get a foot massage,
Invite me to the South of France. Sure, I'm saying
yes to all of those things.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Guided meditation, Yeah, group, sound bath.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I'm in all the woo woo. Let's light some candles
and say are prayer together.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So I have a theory that age is a really
big factor here. I think as I get older, I'm
in my mid thirties, I think it's just harder and
harder to go to a bachelorette party.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's really hard to take the time off work. And
I think the expense has gotten so out of control.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
It's hard to take the time off of work. I'm
going to one this summer, and I cannot wait to
see all my girlfriends. But we're all going to be
sharing a room. And no, no, I don't. You're thirty six.
I know, I don't. I don't know how I feel
about sharing rooms at this point.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It's too hard because you have to like call your
kids at night and talk to them and speak to
your husband, and it's just i'd rather be more intentional
about the time I'm taking off and where I want
to go instead of having this like forced fun.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Weekend because I actually feel like there's a lot of pressure.
I think they can be really fun. I actually I
I don't. I'm not trying to call you out, So
don't please call me out. No, no, no. I love my
friends so much that I'm willing to stomach it. But
it's like, I don't know how many more of these
do I have left in me.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Well, actually, as somebody who like I'm probably going to
get married later in my life if that happens, and
I think about that, because I'm like, at some point
it changes for your friend group, like people have exhausted this.
You have to do something else if you want to
do some sort of weekend.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I don't like putting people out.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I would never like ask people to take off a
day of work, fly across the country.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
It just feels like a lot. But this is something
that I've learned about friendship. Sometimes you have to do
that because some yeah, you have to allow people to
show up for.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
You, but can't they show up for you, like in
the city that you live in. It just feels so
extravagant nowadays.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
But if your friends really love you, and they do
because you're an amazing human being, they will want to
do that for you because they know that it means
a lot to you, and you know, don't you want
to do that to them?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Though?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Okay, I give up, I give up. I like this
idea though. I like a wellness weekend. I'm in for that. Yeah,
I just want to do wellness weekends even when I'm
not getting married. Can we just do that? Yes, without
a wedding.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Simona and I have this thing that we're going on
one friend date a month, doing something weird, like going
to a rodeo. She's I think making me go to Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I don't know, TBD.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I'm still fighting that one, but I think we should
add a wellness weekend to this.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I love that we have to actually plan this, though
not the Disney lamb. All right, up next, we're talking
to one of the bright sides grand old Grannies, Doctor
Flow Rosen aka ask Bubby joins us to share some
parenting wisdom. You don't want to miss this.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
We're back and it's time for another Grand Old Granny's segment.
We're talking to the brilliant pediatrician turned very famous grandma,
doctor Flow Rosen. She's the star of the Ask Bubby,
TikTok and Instagram accounts, where she talks about everything from
diaper rashes to car seats.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Truly, any question you have about babies or kids, Danielle.
You know, I'm so excited for this conversation because I
have two very active toddler boys at home, and I
think I speak for all the parents of littles under
five out there when I say we can always use
more help and more advice. I also want to.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Add that, even though I'm not a parent, I love
following parenting advice and parenting experts because I find that
it's really about great communication. So I think we all
have something to learn from this, doctor Rosen. Welcome to
the bright side.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Welcome, Hi.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Are we allowed to call you Bubby?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Absolutely an honor.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
How does it feel to be the internet's bubby? That's
a lot of responsibility, Well.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
It is, but I absolutely love it.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I waited a very long time to become a grandmom,
so I am enjoying every minute of it.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
You have to tell everybody the difference between a bubby
and a grandmother, because.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
There is a difference. Well, I don't know that there
really is. I'm curious what you think the difference is.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
So I personally feel like bubby's are way more in
your business.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Yes, but that's because bubby is the Yiddish name for grandmother,
and given that Jewish mothers are known throughout the world to.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Be a little more in your business.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I think your interpretation is probably right.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Did you have a bubby or a grandmother? Do you know?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Actually, my parents were Holocaust survivors, so my kids had
their grandmother, their grandfather, and they had their Zaiti my father.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
But I didn't have any grandparents.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Wow, so you're kind of creating what this footprint looks
like for your family.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
Yes, but I will tell you my kids grandparents were wonderful,
So they were great role models.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
That's wonderful. Okay, let's rewind a little bit, because you
were a pediatrician practicing for forty two years. You also
taught med students for years at the University of Pennsylvania,
and then it seems like suddenly overnight you became an
internet sensation after this video of you and your grandson.
What was posted on TikTok? Tell us how that all
went down.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
It was actually a very funny thing. My daughter in
law is in social media, so Trent was having his
first tummy time experience and my daughter in law was
videotaping me showing her the right position to put him in,
and then Trent very unexpectedly looked at me and rolled over,
and I was in a state of shock. Eight days
(15:41):
old at this point, eight days old, eight day old
do not roll over generally unless there's some sort of problem.
He had no problem. He just rolled over. So I
was so shocked that I looked like an absolute idiot
on camera. And my daughter in law thought it was
absolutely hysterical. She said she was going to post it,
(16:02):
and I had said to you, you know, well I always
figured when I retired that I wanted to do an
advice column, and she looked at me in total shock
and horror, went an advice column. That's so old school,
we're putting you on social media and she immediately established
my accounts on TikTok and Instagram. Well, that original video
(16:25):
has been seen over twenty five million times.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
What do you think it is that was drawing people
in like that.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
That I looked like such an idiot.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
No, I think it's your organic reaction.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Well, I think that's what people responded to, but I
truly was flabriastd.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Well, you also have this added expertise because of your
years as a physician, so I think there's this added
element of trust and inquiry that people have with you.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
All right, ask bubby.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
There's a reason you put the ask in front of
the bubby because everybody has questions for you. You've been
a pediatrician and a mom for over forty years. Now
you're a grandmother, so we have decades of experience sitting
right here, and we have lots of questions for you.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Ask away, I'll try to answer them.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Okay, The first question comes from a listener. How do
you stay calm while your baby is screaming?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Well, I actually did a video on this.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
The truth is you have to remember that that's the
only way the baby knows how to communicate. So they're
just telling you that something is wrong. So obviously you
want to try to figure out what's upsetting your baby.
Is something in their clothing digging in? Do they have
a wet diaper? Are they hungry? Are they overtired? You
kind of go through all of that, and after you've
(17:42):
gone through everything and you're really at your wits end,
put the baby down. Put the baby somewhere safe. It
can be a playpen, it can be the crib, go somewhere,
you can go in the bathroom, close the door and
do a primal scream into a pillow. Whatever it takes
to relief your tension, as long as the baby is safe.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So it's not going to give them like lowercase t
trauma later. Because all my friends with kids are like,
I'm so scared to leave the baby while they're crying.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I think it is much safer to leave a crying
baby after you've ruled out everything that could possibly be wrong.
It's much safer to leave the baby than to actually
get frustrated and yell at the baby or god forbid,
shake the baby. And I will tell you with my
younger son, once he was crying unbelievably and I tried everything.
(18:36):
I nursed him, I changed his diaper, I changed what
he was wearing, and I finally looked at my husband
in total defeat and said, I just I don't know
what else to do. I'm just putting him down, and
I put him down in his crib. He looked at me,
flashed a smile, and went.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Right to sleep.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
All he wanted was to be left alone, and I
spent three hours to him.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Wow. Well, I think this gets to the importance of
teaching your baby to self soothe. They have to be
able to learn how to self soothe. And this of
course opens up the whole sleep training discussion.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Oh boy, I know.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I'm gonna go there. Okay, I'm gonna open up the
sleep training can of worms. Bobby. I am such a
firm believer in sleep training. I think it helps the
parents regain control over their life. I think it teaches
the babies how to self soothe. Tell the Internet that
I'm right.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I actually think you are.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
There have been different methods of sleep training that people
have tried for generations. What you want to try to
do is be consistent. You want to have a schedule,
and you want to make the baby have cues so
they know it's bedtime. So you want to change the
you know, turn the lights down in their room. You know,
(19:50):
whether it's a bottle, whether it's a story, whether it's music.
Just try to go through the same routine, so they
get the message that that's bedtime.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Tell me about this, because so I don't have kids yet.
I love when my friends have kids. I love smelling
the baby, I love holding the baby. It like makes
my heart smile. If that sounds so corny, but it's true.
So I never quite know when the right time is
to go visit. I want to be respectful, obviously, what's
your take on it.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
There is a particular window, and that window is certainly
up to at least eight weeks, and if a baby
were to get a fever in that period, there is
the potential that they would need what's quite a full
septic workup, which in addition to a blood test and
the urine test, would also include a spinal tap. Not
all of them will get it, but it's still a
(20:42):
very high risk and certainly under six weeks. So a
lot of parents are very nervous and understandably saw in
the first two months, and you really want to respect that.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I actually have very strong feelings about this, but not
from a medical or safety perspective. It's more protecting the
mom's peace perspective. I think that the time after a
woman gives birth is such a raw time, your hormones
are surging and plummeting, and I mean, for me, it
was one of the darkest, most bewildering times, but also
(21:15):
a really beautiful and exhilarating time because you're getting to
meet your baby and hold your baby for the first time.
You just don't know which ways up, which ways down.
And I think to impose on a new mother and
say like, we got to come by and see the
baby when they're two weeks old or three weeks old,
or even a week old, it's just too much. Like
so my advice to all mothers out there, new moms,
(21:37):
like you tell people when it's okay for them to come.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Well, I agree completely, but what you're really saying. The
message there, this is really important for all new moms
is set limits. Yes, And I found and I think
that new parents have the right to set whatever limit
they want. They don't have to explain it, they don't
have to just defy it. They can set their limits
(22:02):
and quite honestly, if someone doesn't respect it, then you
don't have to have them in your house.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I want to give Bubby a standing ovation. That is
such important advice because you can you can be consumed
by this guilt of like, oh, I've got to oblige.
I've got a people, please, I've got to let people
come over and see. The baby doesn't matter.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
It's all about you, Okay, And that is absolutely key.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Bubby, talk to me about gentle parenting. It's a term
that I've heard over the last few years, getting an Irol.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Let's get into everyone listening. We're getting an eyrol Bubby
as my people. I can tell by her reaction to
everything that we have talked about today.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I just want to I want to give like a
little background on this. So my parents were not gentle parents.
They were very much throw you into the fire. I
think at multiple points my father said to me, nobody
cares about your feelings.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
What are the facts?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Okay, so he was not a gentle parent. I'm really sensitive.
I think I might have done well with a little
more gentle parenting. And I can't figure out what the
balance is.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
What's your take?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Here's my issue with this.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Gentle parenting is really that you don't raise your voice
to your child.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
You certainly never raise a.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
Hand to your child, and you try to talk to
your child about what's going on and their feelings and
working it out.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Well.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
I think that's all well and good in theory, but
a two year old that's upset and throwing a temper
tantrum is not in any position to sit there and
have an intellectual discussion about what their feelings are.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
So you have to take some of.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
The good parts of gentle parenting, but applied them appropriately.
So if you have a child, a two year old
who's having an absolute meltdown, let them melt down. They
have to get those feelings out, and then maybe after
they've calmed down, you can sit there and say, I
know you were really upset, and that's why you know
(23:58):
you were crying. You tell mommy what upset you and
then try to talk about Well, maybe a better way
to handle this would be if you had told mommy
that you really wanted another cookie or whatever it was.
But to do it in the heat of the moment
is not going to work. A two year old is
not going to be able to navigate that and have
(24:19):
a full discussion on it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And also to try to do it whenever you're out
in public and your kid is having a meltdown or
causing a scene, I mean, it's just impossible. You've got
to do what you've got to do in that moment. Obviously,
I totally agree with you said not raising a hand
to your child, and I also think a lot of
this is dependent on the child. If you have a
spicy child, gentle parenting is not going to work on
that child. I think gentle parenting works well for gentle kids.
(24:43):
But I think there are a lot of great things
that have come out of it. I think all the
intentionality around helping your kids become better communicators, helping them
talk about their big feelings, that's great.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
You know, there is a.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Lot to be said about that. Not that I think
you need to toughend kids up, but you know, as
a baby boomer parent, every kid was a winner, every
kid got a trophy. I think we get we did
a great disservice to our kids, and in fact, studies
have shown that kids that have to do chores, kids
(25:18):
that don't always get what they want, kids that have
to work for something end up being much happier adults.
I think you certainly want to respect your children's feelings.
You always want to address that, and you want to
do what you can to help your children understand. You
know how to navigate the world. But I think giving
into every whim is absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
The way to do it.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
We have to help our kids adjust to the idea
of failure and get comfortable with failure because I think
failure is the only way to grow. You have to
grow confidence.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I think that's absolutely true.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
There's always been these different theories on how to do it,
but the end result is really what you said. Kids
have to learn failure. That's how they grow, and that's
how they get motivated to succeed the next time. And
I think every kid is a winner just doesn't work
in the long run.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Oh that's a bar, really is Bubby. You are filled
with endless amounts of wisdom. Thank you so much for
sharing some of it with us today. On the bright side, well,
thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Bubby is a pediatrician turn content creator and she's on
Instagram and TikTok as. Ask Bubby all.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Right, bright side Besties, Grandma's give out some of the
best advice of anybody that we know. So we're going
to be doing a monthly advice segment with our very
favorite grandmas.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
If you have a.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Question or a conundrum or an amazing, Grandma. Hit us up,
send us a voice memo or an email at Hello
at the bright Side podcast dot com.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
We're back, Danielle. All that parenting advice got me thinking,
I need to know more about how you grew up.
I want to know about how you grew up too. Okay,
I have an idea. Let's play a little this or
that game so we can both get to know each
other better in our upbringing styles. Okay, first question, did
you have a curfew growing up? Or were you allowed
(27:20):
to come and go as you pleased.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
I think I had a curfew that was like midnight
in high school and then if I came home after
I just had to let them know because my dad
could not go to bed until my brother and I
were in our beds, locked in the house.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
All he had anxiety about it.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yeah, I think he was big on safety. I think
he was just nervous.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Not your mom. Your mom wasn't that way.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
My mom passes out. She probably did care about safety
but was too tired.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
My poor mom is the exact way your dad was.
Could not sleep unless I was in the house in
my bed And wait, did you have a curfew? Though
I did have a curfew. I think it was like
eleven or something. Yeah, definitely curfew. I mean, can't imagine
a world in which a parent doesn't have a curfew
for their kids, right.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I had some friends who didn't have curfews, but I
don't know if.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
That ended up.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Well, where where are they now? Where are they now? Okay, allowance?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Did you get a regular allowance or were you working
a part time job to hustle up some extra cash.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I think I got an allowance up until the point
when I actually could get a part time job, and
then I started working my first job. Danielle, Yeah, you're
not going to believe this. This is wait, I want to
guess this is stranger than fiction. What I was a
I worked at a haunted corn maze in Memphis, Tennessee.
(28:37):
A haunted corn maize. Yeah. It was a seasonal gig,
and I worked in the concessions during daylight hours, but
then when night fell, I dressed up as a zombie
cheerleader and had to scare people out of a garbage can.
At least you had a cute costume.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Zombie cheerleader is probably the best out of all the
options there.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I get corn maze, it built character.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
My high school job was I was a dancer for
bar and bought Mitzvah's for birthday parties. Get out, I
got the crowd going. My friend was the DJ, and
so he would hire like three of our friends and
we were dancers.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Do you still know any of the dances? Uh?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
No, they weren't like line dances. It's audio, so this
is hard to explain. But they were just more like
getting the crowd going, like pumping your fists.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Okay, books are boys, Danielle. Did your parents stress education
over dating or were you allowed to explore your options?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Okay, I'm not gonna be boring, but I'm going to
say both. Okay, my parents really valued education, still do.
My grandmother was a teacher, my grandfather was a professor
and a principal.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Education was huge in our house.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
But my mom was always telling me to like go
out and date, and she would she is like more
fun than me, you know, So she was like.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Go go be in high school, go live your life.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
But she wanted all the tea and I was always
so private, I'd never tell her anything.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I hit all my boyfriends, so I didn't date at
all in high school. You weren't allowed or want to.
It wasn't that I wasn't allowed, but I grew up
in such a sheltered, conservative Christian house that my parents
barely even talk to me about sex and relationships. So
it was just a topic that didn't ever really come up.
(30:14):
And also I moved around so much that I was
like so awkward, and I was like really tall and
gangly andlinky and awkward, that I just it never really happened,
never really dating, never really happened for me. So but
education has always been such a huge priority in my family,
going back several generations. So I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I mean, I learned from my mom keeps talking about
the story that you told about your grandmother.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
It's very clear that you.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Come from a long line of really smart, thoughtful people.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Thank you you too. Birthday bashes or birthday blues.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Were you always having a big blowout birthday as a
kid with all your friends or did you want something
small and kind of you know, or did you want
something small?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I had some really fun, big blowout birthdays as a kid,
And actually, you know what's funny when I think about
the themes and the activities that I made my friends
do I still do this to this day. Like, one
of my fondest memories is this shaving cream fight birthday
that I had with all my friends. So fun. It
was so fun, and now I still love making my
(31:16):
friends do like field day games and sloppy games. Danielle,
you seem like you would just love that. I was
gonna say, please, don't invite me to your birthday. I'll
take you for dinner.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I felt really actually lucky. I'm not a huge birthday
person now, but when I was a kid, my mom
always I grew up in Chicago, and almost all my
family was in Chicago, and so we would do a
friends party and then a family party. And so the
family parties were my favorite because like grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts,
everyone was together and I just felt like so loved,
(31:50):
and so that's where I.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Felt most comfortable. That's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah, it was really special. I didn't realize till later
how special that was.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Where do our birthdays go wrong? It seems like a
lot of us bring birthday baggage into adulthood. But she
did do a whole episode on birthday baggage. I would
love to dig into it. Let's dive in I like
that word birthday baggage. It's true Fiji or rated R.
Did your parents heavily monitor what you watched on TV?
Or could you press play on anything you wanted?
Speaker 1 (32:17):
My mom says that she made two errors as a mother.
She said she didn't really teach us how to cook,
which she regrets. And she took me to see Romey
and Michelle's high school reunion when I was in kindergarten,
and she looked around in kindergarten, yes, and she looked
around and she was like, everyone here is much older.
But I begged her for like for months. All I
wanted to see was that movie.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You begged your mother when you were in kindergarten. Yes,
how is it even on your radar?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I don't know. All of my friends were third children.
I was the only firstborn, and so I think they
were all like more ahead of the curve. Okay, And no,
they let me. I watched Sopranos, I watched Sex in
the City. I would like beg them to stay up
and watch things.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Okay, you did not have black mom. That's I'm gonna
say about that. Your mom was super strict. Oh yeah,
I couldn't read Harry Potter. You're kidding, could not read
Harry Potter. It was witchcraft. This is incredible. This is
a thing. Though. If you other people, they will come
out of the woodwork when I'm talking about this. They
will tell you this.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So when did you start, because you're very pop culturally fluent,
when did you start watching things?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
It's it's really funny because my mom was an actor,
so she knows the benefit of the arts and of
creative expression, but she still came from such a conservative
background that she felt the need to be really strict
about what I watched or what I took in. It
was more religious than anything.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
In hindsight, Do you think any of it was valid? Like,
do you think it was good that you were sheltered
a bit?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Not really? I mean I think you should. I think
you should spare your kids from certain things that are
like too sexually revealing or too mature for them. You
don't want them having questions about things that they shouldn't
have to question yet. But whatever, I turned out all right?
You did.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Also, it's kind of interesting because in Europe, like they
sensor violence more and in America we censor like sexual
stuff more. And I always think that it's interesting in
terms of what we value or think is you know.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah, well that's the funny thing. Because I would go
to at home, I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter,
but then we would go to a friend's house from
our church and they'd have Brave Heart on, you know,
and it was extremely violent, but of course you can
make an exception for that because of the themes in it.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I guess I actually haven't thought about so much of
this stuff in years.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
This was kind of interesting, you know, it really was.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, thank you for the therapy session producers.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yes, our producers did a great job. I had to
dig deep into the memory banks for this one. I
keep thinking about Bubby's second act, Danielle, and how she
became this TikTok star when she least expected it, and
that makes me think of one of my favorite mantras,
and that is it's never too late. It's powerful. It
(35:03):
really is.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
It's a short sentence and it's powerful. After forty two years,
she made the pivot. She was a pediatrician turned TikTok star,
and it's really inspiring.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
There's no expiration date on second acts. Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, I think we got to end on that. That's
it for today's show, thanks to our partners at Airbnb.
We'll be back tomorrow talking about the new Apple TV
film Girls State, which documents the summer program where young
women create a mock government. We're joined by co director
Amanda McBain and one of the Girls State participants, future
leader Emily Worthmore.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts. You can find me Simone
Voice at Simone Voice and.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I'm Danielle Robe at Danielle Robe ro Ba.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Y see you tomorrow
What up bright Side Besties, Hello Sunshine. Today on the
bright Side, our segment, Grand Old Granny's is back with
parenting advice from Doctor Flow Rosen aka TikTok's very favorite Grandma.
Ask Bubby, it's Monday, April eighth.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm Danielle Robey and I'm Simone. Boys. This is the
bright Side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
This is the first time we are recording apart sea money.
Where are you recording from? Are you stuck in a
little closet?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Where are you? I am at a hotel in Madina,
New York, because I am here to witness the total
eclipse of the sun later on today.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
If I threw a dart onto a map, you think
I would find it.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's a tiny, tiny little town. I have a lot
of my dad's family from here, so this is actually great.
I get to catch up with my family members that
I never see, and we're gonna watch this phenomenon take place.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I'm so excited you're there because you're gonna give us
a first hand account of what it was all.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Like yes coming to tomorrow. You can hear my loud
breathing and reactions and oohs and ahs as I witness
the solar eclipse.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You know, I don't mean to get deep, but I
do think that there's this amazing feeling that humans get
with awe awe, and so I hope you feel some awe.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'm excited to hear about it. That's what I'm looking for.
But first we're going to get into what's popping on
our feeds today. This is your morning drip, Danielle. We
have some very big news from our Hello Sunshine family.
Who is it? Big news and an exciting update for
all the Elwoods fans out there. So, a TV series
inspired by Legally Blond is currently in development at Amazon.
(01:41):
It is happening people.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
We've all been wanting more el Woods, like I watched
Legally Blonde on almost every airplane ride.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I'm on now I'm going to get new content totally.
It's ubiquitous. It's a seminal film for feminists, for just
Hollywood in general. This comes up a lot though, when
we're working on the show and doing interviews with folks
on the show, they talk about how Elle Woods has
inspired them to pursue law or politics. I mean, the
impact is just immeasurable from this one character.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I don't think I realized it when I was growing
up because I just loved the movie. I thought it
was so fun and I loved watching her outfits and
her friendship with her sorority sisters. But I actually watched
recently on a plane ride to New York and realized
how well it stood up, Like not every movie from
that time stands the test of time in terms of
how culture is spoken about, and it really does stand up.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And you can bet we're going to be getting that
same quality because Reese Wetherspoon is back as one of
the series executive producers. I mean, I cannot wait for this.
We're gonna have to have some sort of bright Side
launch party for this.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
She produces our podcast and legally Blonde the series How
Cool Is That?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Very also exciting.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Sex in the City is now available on Netflix, So
for those of you like me that love Sex in
the City, you'll remember it's triumphant run on HBO in
the late nineteen nineties and early two thousands, And I
think it's kind of surreal to see the sitcom vault
into the Netflix Top ten.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
That means gen Z is watching too, I think.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
And until last year, HBO had a policy where they
weren't licensing their shows to Netflix.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So now I think you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Get to decide if you're a Carrie, A Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte,
or a mix on multiple platforms.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Which one are you?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I always felt like I was a mix between Carrie
and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
How about you? I honestly don't know enough about it
to say who I am. I did not watch it.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I feel like we need a weekend to lay in
bed and watch this show. I feel like you, it
like encapsulates so much of your dating life in your
twenties and thirties.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I don't know, does it I don't personally, I don't
know that it represents me or I don't know that
I actually saw myself in the show necessarily. It's fair.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
There is a huge lack of representation in the original series,
and that's been talked about a lot. But I do
think that women who date their twenties and thirties see
parts of themselves in that show no matter what. Like
there's just a sisterhood too, that's really fun. You know
what was my Sex and the City Girls.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
That was my version. It was like a little bit quirkier,
a little bit more off kilter, it.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I didn't love the show as much. I hear what
it was that awkward humor and I love that. Yeah,
it was very Brooklyn centric.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, all right, Danielle. Personal question, how many group chats
are you currently involved in at this moment in time.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I don't feel like that's that personal. I'm involved in
probably like four group chats. One is with my family.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Damn, that's a lot. No, Well, what's considered a group
you know, that's a good question. I feel like a
group chat is like a gaggle of people. It's got
to be. It's a gaggle like eight to ten. Maybe
let's talk about a group chat that has five members
in it, or at least had five members in it.
Because Melby from The Spice Girls recently revealed that she
(04:56):
actually got kicked out of the Spice Girls chat in
twenty nineteen. This is egregious. Can you believe it?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
The Spice Girls are five girls. You can't have four
girls and the Spice Girls. Okay, Well, she wasn't actually
kicked out of the band. She was kicked out of
the group chat. And here's why this is her crime.
She apparently leaked intel from the chat about a possible
Spice Girls reunion tour. So this is actually very very
exciting news. I mean, it feels like that's worthy of
getting kicked out.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
She can't be trusted. Group chats are sacred. I'm still
stuck on the fact that a thirtieth reunion tour might
be in the works. Are you gonna be there?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Spice Girls set up my entire life, Like I was
Spice Girls obsessed. I watched that movie over and over again,
Spice World, Oh my God. I wanted to look like them,
and dress like them and eat lollipops like them.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I was obsessed eat lollipops like them. I'm sorry, can
you elaborate?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
They had Spice Girls lollipops, and I just begged my
mom to buy them so I could be like them.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
That is so obscure. The Spice Girls are woven into
every major memory I have, pretty much from childhood. In
the nineties, I was at a sleepover when I found
out that Princess Diana died and we were all dressed
up as Spice Girls at that time, so I now
associate her passing with the Spice Girls. It's like they're
(06:15):
extricably linked to everything from my childhood.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I do think there's something actually, like culturally deeper here,
which is girl groups, specifically like pop music girl groups
like Destiny's Child. They I think really inspired women to
feel that sisterhood, to feel collaborative, to be not competitive
with each other in a way that maybe like other
(06:38):
generations didn't have. That's true, and so I think the
Spice Girls actually had more to do with feminism than
we give them credit for.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, one hundred percent, Which Spice girl do you identify
with the most now or then? Then? Well, actually I
want to know both.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Okay, Then I was obsessed with Ginger. I loved her
red hair, and I felt like she had like all
these like sexy outfits. It's with her, like British flag
tank tops or dresses. Now, I think I would be
sporty Spice, but she wasn't as cool back then.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
But that's really the real me.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, Like I'm in sneakers and workout clothes.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
How about you? This question is a little bit triggering
for me because as a biracial girl with curly hair,
you were and usually you're the only one who looks
like that in your friend group, at least where I
grew up. Yeah, you have no choice, but to be
scary Spicce. You were forced to be scary Spicce every time,
and no shade to Melbe. But I just wanted to
have different options. All the other girls got options whenever
(07:36):
we were playing dress up, so I always I always
had an affinity towards Baby. We actually share the same birthday.
But now I totally agree. I am sporty spice in
my day to day life. Yes, no, you really are
like crop tops, sports spras cargo pants. I'm all about it.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
We both lean heavy into the sports girl aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I think you just you graduate into the spice lifestyle
as you get older. It's more comfortable. Okay, speaking of
girl group Speaking of girl groups, Okay, I actually do
have a few group chats in my phone right now,
and one of them is all about a bachelorette party
and it's kind of taking over my whole life. Oh
my god.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Bachelorette parties are the bane of my whole existence. I
have friends now, like my really close friends know not
to invite me to their bachelorette parties.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And why are you laughing? That's not a great thing.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
No, it's a loving thing, because then I don't have
to lovingly decline.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Oh wow, okay, keep going, keep going. I never want
to be seen in a penis hat. Ever. I here's
the thing.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I was invited to a bachelorette my good friend Chelsea,
and we went to college together, and she's the kind
of friend that I knew it was really important to her.
So I couldn't say no, because it's like for sometimes
you give right.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, So I went.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It was in Nashville. She rented the most gorgeous airbnb.
Like when I tell you, we were all living in
the lap of luxury. It was so fun to all
be together, our college friends were all together. But by
night too, I was like, I'm out, and they all
went out and I went back to the Airbnb and
fell asleep on my nice bed.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Okay, well, let me tell you about this new trend
that I saw in the New York Times, because this
might be your opt out please for bachelorette parties. Okay, so,
instead of a bachelorette party, apparently, wellness weekends are the
new thing to do. So you don't have to have
this like blowout, hangover style epic bachelorette weekend, but you
can just host a slower, soothing wellness centered weekend where
(09:43):
you and your bridal party just get to relax. I mean,
I'm obsessed with this.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
That sounds great, right, Invite me to get a foot massage,
Invite me to the South of France. Sure, I'm saying
yes to all of those things.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Guided meditation, Yeah, group, sound bath.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I'm in all the woo woo. Let's light some candles
and say are prayer together.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So I have a theory that age is a really
big factor here. I think as I get older, I'm
in my mid thirties, I think it's just harder and
harder to go to a bachelorette party.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's really hard to take the time off work. And
I think the expense has gotten so out of control.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
It's hard to take the time off of work. I'm
going to one this summer, and I cannot wait to
see all my girlfriends. But we're all going to be
sharing a room. And no, no, I don't. You're thirty six.
I know, I don't. I don't know how I feel
about sharing rooms at this point.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It's too hard because you have to like call your
kids at night and talk to them and speak to
your husband, and it's just i'd rather be more intentional
about the time I'm taking off and where I want
to go instead of having this like forced fun.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Weekend because I actually feel like there's a lot of pressure.
I think they can be really fun. I actually I
I don't. I'm not trying to call you out, So
don't please call me out. No, no, no. I love my
friends so much that I'm willing to stomach it. But
it's like, I don't know how many more of these
do I have left in me.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Well, actually, as somebody who like I'm probably going to
get married later in my life if that happens, and
I think about that, because I'm like, at some point
it changes for your friend group, like people have exhausted this.
You have to do something else if you want to
do some sort of weekend.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I don't like putting people out.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I would never like ask people to take off a
day of work, fly across the country.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
It just feels like a lot. But this is something
that I've learned about friendship. Sometimes you have to do
that because some yeah, you have to allow people to
show up for.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
You, but can't they show up for you, like in
the city that you live in. It just feels so
extravagant nowadays.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
But if your friends really love you, and they do
because you're an amazing human being, they will want to
do that for you because they know that it means
a lot to you, and you know, don't you want
to do that to them?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Though?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Okay, I give up, I give up. I like this
idea though. I like a wellness weekend. I'm in for that. Yeah,
I just want to do wellness weekends even when I'm
not getting married. Can we just do that? Yes, without
a wedding.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Simona and I have this thing that we're going on
one friend date a month, doing something weird, like going
to a rodeo. She's I think making me go to Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I don't know, TBD.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I'm still fighting that one, but I think we should
add a wellness weekend to this.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I love that we have to actually plan this, though
not the Disney lamb. All right, up next, we're talking
to one of the bright sides grand old Grannies, Doctor
Flow Rosen aka ask Bubby joins us to share some
parenting wisdom. You don't want to miss this.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
We're back and it's time for another Grand Old Granny's segment.
We're talking to the brilliant pediatrician turned very famous grandma,
doctor Flow Rosen. She's the star of the Ask Bubby,
TikTok and Instagram accounts, where she talks about everything from
diaper rashes to car seats.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Truly, any question you have about babies or kids, Danielle.
You know, I'm so excited for this conversation because I
have two very active toddler boys at home, and I
think I speak for all the parents of littles under
five out there when I say we can always use
more help and more advice. I also want to.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Add that, even though I'm not a parent, I love
following parenting advice and parenting experts because I find that
it's really about great communication. So I think we all
have something to learn from this, doctor Rosen. Welcome to
the bright side.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Welcome, Hi.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Are we allowed to call you Bubby?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Absolutely an honor.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
How does it feel to be the internet's bubby? That's
a lot of responsibility, Well.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
It is, but I absolutely love it.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I waited a very long time to become a grandmom,
so I am enjoying every minute of it.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
You have to tell everybody the difference between a bubby
and a grandmother, because.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
There is a difference. Well, I don't know that there
really is. I'm curious what you think the difference is.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
So I personally feel like bubby's are way more in
your business.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Yes, but that's because bubby is the Yiddish name for grandmother,
and given that Jewish mothers are known throughout the world to.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Be a little more in your business.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I think your interpretation is probably right.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Did you have a bubby or a grandmother? Do you know?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Actually, my parents were Holocaust survivors, so my kids had
their grandmother, their grandfather, and they had their Zaiti my father.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
But I didn't have any grandparents.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Wow, so you're kind of creating what this footprint looks
like for your family.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
Yes, but I will tell you my kids grandparents were wonderful,
So they were great role models.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
That's wonderful. Okay, let's rewind a little bit, because you
were a pediatrician practicing for forty two years. You also
taught med students for years at the University of Pennsylvania,
and then it seems like suddenly overnight you became an
internet sensation after this video of you and your grandson.
What was posted on TikTok? Tell us how that all
went down.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
It was actually a very funny thing. My daughter in
law is in social media, so Trent was having his
first tummy time experience and my daughter in law was
videotaping me showing her the right position to put him in,
and then Trent very unexpectedly looked at me and rolled over,
and I was in a state of shock. Eight days
(15:41):
old at this point, eight days old, eight day old
do not roll over generally unless there's some sort of problem.
He had no problem. He just rolled over. So I
was so shocked that I looked like an absolute idiot
on camera. And my daughter in law thought it was
absolutely hysterical. She said she was going to post it,
(16:02):
and I had said to you, you know, well I always
figured when I retired that I wanted to do an
advice column, and she looked at me in total shock
and horror, went an advice column. That's so old school,
we're putting you on social media and she immediately established
my accounts on TikTok and Instagram. Well, that original video
(16:25):
has been seen over twenty five million times.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
What do you think it is that was drawing people
in like that.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
That I looked like such an idiot.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
No, I think it's your organic reaction.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Well, I think that's what people responded to, but I
truly was flabriastd.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Well, you also have this added expertise because of your
years as a physician, so I think there's this added
element of trust and inquiry that people have with you.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
All right, ask bubby.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
There's a reason you put the ask in front of
the bubby because everybody has questions for you. You've been
a pediatrician and a mom for over forty years. Now
you're a grandmother, so we have decades of experience sitting
right here, and we have lots of questions for you.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Ask away, I'll try to answer them.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Okay, The first question comes from a listener. How do
you stay calm while your baby is screaming?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Well, I actually did a video on this.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
The truth is you have to remember that that's the
only way the baby knows how to communicate. So they're
just telling you that something is wrong. So obviously you
want to try to figure out what's upsetting your baby.
Is something in their clothing digging in? Do they have
a wet diaper? Are they hungry? Are they overtired? You
kind of go through all of that, and after you've
(17:42):
gone through everything and you're really at your wits end,
put the baby down. Put the baby somewhere safe. It
can be a playpen, it can be the crib, go somewhere,
you can go in the bathroom, close the door and
do a primal scream into a pillow. Whatever it takes
to relief your tension, as long as the baby is safe.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So it's not going to give them like lowercase t
trauma later. Because all my friends with kids are like,
I'm so scared to leave the baby while they're crying.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I think it is much safer to leave a crying
baby after you've ruled out everything that could possibly be wrong.
It's much safer to leave the baby than to actually
get frustrated and yell at the baby or god forbid,
shake the baby. And I will tell you with my
younger son, once he was crying unbelievably and I tried everything.
(18:36):
I nursed him, I changed his diaper, I changed what
he was wearing, and I finally looked at my husband
in total defeat and said, I just I don't know
what else to do. I'm just putting him down, and
I put him down in his crib. He looked at me,
flashed a smile, and went.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Right to sleep.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
All he wanted was to be left alone, and I
spent three hours to him.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Wow. Well, I think this gets to the importance of
teaching your baby to self soothe. They have to be
able to learn how to self soothe. And this of
course opens up the whole sleep training discussion.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Oh boy, I know.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I'm gonna go there. Okay, I'm gonna open up the
sleep training can of worms. Bobby. I am such a
firm believer in sleep training. I think it helps the
parents regain control over their life. I think it teaches
the babies how to self soothe. Tell the Internet that
I'm right.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I actually think you are.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
There have been different methods of sleep training that people
have tried for generations. What you want to try to
do is be consistent. You want to have a schedule,
and you want to make the baby have cues so
they know it's bedtime. So you want to change the
you know, turn the lights down in their room. You know,
(19:50):
whether it's a bottle, whether it's a story, whether it's music.
Just try to go through the same routine, so they
get the message that that's bedtime.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Tell me about this, because so I don't have kids yet.
I love when my friends have kids. I love smelling
the baby, I love holding the baby. It like makes
my heart smile. If that sounds so corny, but it's true.
So I never quite know when the right time is
to go visit. I want to be respectful, obviously, what's
your take on it.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
There is a particular window, and that window is certainly
up to at least eight weeks, and if a baby
were to get a fever in that period, there is
the potential that they would need what's quite a full
septic workup, which in addition to a blood test and
the urine test, would also include a spinal tap. Not
all of them will get it, but it's still a
(20:42):
very high risk and certainly under six weeks. So a
lot of parents are very nervous and understandably saw in
the first two months, and you really want to respect that.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I actually have very strong feelings about this, but not
from a medical or safety perspective. It's more protecting the
mom's peace perspective. I think that the time after a
woman gives birth is such a raw time, your hormones
are surging and plummeting, and I mean, for me, it
was one of the darkest, most bewildering times, but also
(21:15):
a really beautiful and exhilarating time because you're getting to
meet your baby and hold your baby for the first time.
You just don't know which ways up, which ways down.
And I think to impose on a new mother and
say like, we got to come by and see the
baby when they're two weeks old or three weeks old,
or even a week old, it's just too much. Like
so my advice to all mothers out there, new moms,
(21:37):
like you tell people when it's okay for them to come.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Well, I agree completely, but what you're really saying. The
message there, this is really important for all new moms
is set limits. Yes, And I found and I think
that new parents have the right to set whatever limit
they want. They don't have to explain it, they don't
have to just defy it. They can set their limits
(22:02):
and quite honestly, if someone doesn't respect it, then you
don't have to have them in your house.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I want to give Bubby a standing ovation. That is
such important advice because you can you can be consumed
by this guilt of like, oh, I've got to oblige.
I've got a people, please, I've got to let people
come over and see. The baby doesn't matter.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
It's all about you, Okay, And that is absolutely key.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Bubby, talk to me about gentle parenting. It's a term
that I've heard over the last few years, getting an Irol.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Let's get into everyone listening. We're getting an eyrol Bubby
as my people. I can tell by her reaction to
everything that we have talked about today.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I just want to I want to give like a
little background on this. So my parents were not gentle parents.
They were very much throw you into the fire. I
think at multiple points my father said to me, nobody
cares about your feelings.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
What are the facts?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Okay, so he was not a gentle parent. I'm really sensitive.
I think I might have done well with a little
more gentle parenting. And I can't figure out what the
balance is.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
What's your take?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Here's my issue with this.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Gentle parenting is really that you don't raise your voice
to your child.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
You certainly never raise a.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
Hand to your child, and you try to talk to
your child about what's going on and their feelings and
working it out.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Well.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
I think that's all well and good in theory, but
a two year old that's upset and throwing a temper
tantrum is not in any position to sit there and
have an intellectual discussion about what their feelings are.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
So you have to take some of.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
The good parts of gentle parenting, but applied them appropriately.
So if you have a child, a two year old
who's having an absolute meltdown, let them melt down. They
have to get those feelings out, and then maybe after
they've calmed down, you can sit there and say, I
know you were really upset, and that's why you know
(23:58):
you were crying. You tell mommy what upset you and
then try to talk about Well, maybe a better way
to handle this would be if you had told mommy
that you really wanted another cookie or whatever it was.
But to do it in the heat of the moment
is not going to work. A two year old is
not going to be able to navigate that and have
(24:19):
a full discussion on it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And also to try to do it whenever you're out
in public and your kid is having a meltdown or
causing a scene, I mean, it's just impossible. You've got
to do what you've got to do in that moment. Obviously,
I totally agree with you said not raising a hand
to your child, and I also think a lot of
this is dependent on the child. If you have a
spicy child, gentle parenting is not going to work on
that child. I think gentle parenting works well for gentle kids.
(24:43):
But I think there are a lot of great things
that have come out of it. I think all the
intentionality around helping your kids become better communicators, helping them
talk about their big feelings, that's great.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
You know, there is a.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Lot to be said about that. Not that I think
you need to toughend kids up, but you know, as
a baby boomer parent, every kid was a winner, every
kid got a trophy. I think we get we did
a great disservice to our kids, and in fact, studies
have shown that kids that have to do chores, kids
(25:18):
that don't always get what they want, kids that have
to work for something end up being much happier adults.
I think you certainly want to respect your children's feelings.
You always want to address that, and you want to
do what you can to help your children understand. You
know how to navigate the world. But I think giving
into every whim is absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
The way to do it.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
We have to help our kids adjust to the idea
of failure and get comfortable with failure because I think
failure is the only way to grow. You have to
grow confidence.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I think that's absolutely true.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
There's always been these different theories on how to do it,
but the end result is really what you said. Kids
have to learn failure. That's how they grow, and that's
how they get motivated to succeed the next time. And
I think every kid is a winner just doesn't work
in the long run.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Oh that's a bar, really is Bubby. You are filled
with endless amounts of wisdom. Thank you so much for
sharing some of it with us today. On the bright side, well,
thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Bubby is a pediatrician turn content creator and she's on
Instagram and TikTok as. Ask Bubby all.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Right, bright side Besties, Grandma's give out some of the
best advice of anybody that we know. So we're going
to be doing a monthly advice segment with our very
favorite grandmas.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
If you have a.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Question or a conundrum or an amazing, Grandma. Hit us up,
send us a voice memo or an email at Hello
at the bright Side podcast dot com.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
We're back, Danielle. All that parenting advice got me thinking,
I need to know more about how you grew up.
I want to know about how you grew up too. Okay,
I have an idea. Let's play a little this or
that game so we can both get to know each
other better in our upbringing styles. Okay, first question, did
you have a curfew growing up? Or were you allowed
(27:20):
to come and go as you pleased.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
I think I had a curfew that was like midnight
in high school and then if I came home after
I just had to let them know because my dad
could not go to bed until my brother and I
were in our beds, locked in the house.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
All he had anxiety about it.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yeah, I think he was big on safety. I think
he was just nervous.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Not your mom. Your mom wasn't that way.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
My mom passes out. She probably did care about safety
but was too tired.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
My poor mom is the exact way your dad was.
Could not sleep unless I was in the house in
my bed And wait, did you have a curfew? Though
I did have a curfew. I think it was like
eleven or something. Yeah, definitely curfew. I mean, can't imagine
a world in which a parent doesn't have a curfew
for their kids, right.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I had some friends who didn't have curfews, but I
don't know if.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
That ended up.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Well, where where are they now? Where are they now? Okay, allowance?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Did you get a regular allowance or were you working
a part time job to hustle up some extra cash.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I think I got an allowance up until the point
when I actually could get a part time job, and
then I started working my first job. Danielle, Yeah, you're
not going to believe this. This is wait, I want to
guess this is stranger than fiction. What I was a
I worked at a haunted corn maze in Memphis, Tennessee.
(28:37):
A haunted corn maize. Yeah. It was a seasonal gig,
and I worked in the concessions during daylight hours, but
then when night fell, I dressed up as a zombie
cheerleader and had to scare people out of a garbage can.
At least you had a cute costume.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Zombie cheerleader is probably the best out of all the
options there.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I get corn maze, it built character.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
My high school job was I was a dancer for
bar and bought Mitzvah's for birthday parties. Get out, I
got the crowd going. My friend was the DJ, and
so he would hire like three of our friends and
we were dancers.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Do you still know any of the dances? Uh?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
No, they weren't like line dances. It's audio, so this
is hard to explain. But they were just more like
getting the crowd going, like pumping your fists.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Okay, books are boys, Danielle. Did your parents stress education
over dating or were you allowed to explore your options?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Okay, I'm not gonna be boring, but I'm going to
say both. Okay, my parents really valued education, still do.
My grandmother was a teacher, my grandfather was a professor
and a principal.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Education was huge in our house.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
But my mom was always telling me to like go
out and date, and she would she is like more
fun than me, you know, So she was like.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Go go be in high school, go live your life.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
But she wanted all the tea and I was always
so private, I'd never tell her anything.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I hit all my boyfriends, so I didn't date at
all in high school. You weren't allowed or want to.
It wasn't that I wasn't allowed, but I grew up
in such a sheltered, conservative Christian house that my parents
barely even talk to me about sex and relationships. So
it was just a topic that didn't ever really come up.
(30:14):
And also I moved around so much that I was
like so awkward, and I was like really tall and
gangly andlinky and awkward, that I just it never really happened,
never really dating, never really happened for me. So but
education has always been such a huge priority in my family,
going back several generations. So I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I mean, I learned from my mom keeps talking about
the story that you told about your grandmother.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
It's very clear that you.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Come from a long line of really smart, thoughtful people.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Thank you you too. Birthday bashes or birthday blues.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Were you always having a big blowout birthday as a
kid with all your friends or did you want something
small and kind of you know, or did you want
something small?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I had some really fun, big blowout birthdays as a kid,
And actually, you know what's funny when I think about
the themes and the activities that I made my friends
do I still do this to this day. Like, one
of my fondest memories is this shaving cream fight birthday
that I had with all my friends. So fun. It
was so fun, and now I still love making my
(31:16):
friends do like field day games and sloppy games. Danielle,
you seem like you would just love that. I was
gonna say, please, don't invite me to your birthday. I'll
take you for dinner.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I felt really actually lucky. I'm not a huge birthday
person now, but when I was a kid, my mom
always I grew up in Chicago, and almost all my
family was in Chicago, and so we would do a
friends party and then a family party. And so the
family parties were my favorite because like grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts,
everyone was together and I just felt like so loved,
(31:50):
and so that's where I.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Felt most comfortable. That's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah, it was really special. I didn't realize till later
how special that was.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Where do our birthdays go wrong? It seems like a
lot of us bring birthday baggage into adulthood. But she
did do a whole episode on birthday baggage. I would
love to dig into it. Let's dive in I like
that word birthday baggage. It's true Fiji or rated R.
Did your parents heavily monitor what you watched on TV?
Or could you press play on anything you wanted?
Speaker 1 (32:17):
My mom says that she made two errors as a mother.
She said she didn't really teach us how to cook,
which she regrets. And she took me to see Romey
and Michelle's high school reunion when I was in kindergarten,
and she looked around in kindergarten, yes, and she looked
around and she was like, everyone here is much older.
But I begged her for like for months. All I
wanted to see was that movie.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You begged your mother when you were in kindergarten. Yes,
how is it even on your radar?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I don't know. All of my friends were third children.
I was the only firstborn, and so I think they
were all like more ahead of the curve. Okay, And no,
they let me. I watched Sopranos, I watched Sex in
the City. I would like beg them to stay up
and watch things.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Okay, you did not have black mom. That's I'm gonna
say about that. Your mom was super strict. Oh yeah,
I couldn't read Harry Potter. You're kidding, could not read
Harry Potter. It was witchcraft. This is incredible. This is
a thing. Though. If you other people, they will come
out of the woodwork when I'm talking about this. They
will tell you this.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So when did you start, because you're very pop culturally fluent,
when did you start watching things?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
It's it's really funny because my mom was an actor,
so she knows the benefit of the arts and of
creative expression, but she still came from such a conservative
background that she felt the need to be really strict
about what I watched or what I took in. It
was more religious than anything.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
In hindsight, Do you think any of it was valid? Like,
do you think it was good that you were sheltered
a bit?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Not really? I mean I think you should. I think
you should spare your kids from certain things that are
like too sexually revealing or too mature for them. You
don't want them having questions about things that they shouldn't
have to question yet. But whatever, I turned out all right?
You did.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Also, it's kind of interesting because in Europe, like they
sensor violence more and in America we censor like sexual
stuff more. And I always think that it's interesting in
terms of what we value or think is you know.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah, well that's the funny thing. Because I would go
to at home, I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter,
but then we would go to a friend's house from
our church and they'd have Brave Heart on, you know,
and it was extremely violent, but of course you can
make an exception for that because of the themes in it.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I guess I actually haven't thought about so much of
this stuff in years.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
This was kind of interesting, you know, it really was.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, thank you for the therapy session producers.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yes, our producers did a great job. I had to
dig deep into the memory banks for this one. I
keep thinking about Bubby's second act, Danielle, and how she
became this TikTok star when she least expected it, and
that makes me think of one of my favorite mantras,
and that is it's never too late. It's powerful. It
(35:03):
really is.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
It's a short sentence and it's powerful. After forty two years,
she made the pivot. She was a pediatrician turned TikTok star,
and it's really inspiring.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
There's no expiration date on second acts. Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, I think we got to end on that. That's
it for today's show, thanks to our partners at Airbnb.
We'll be back tomorrow talking about the new Apple TV
film Girls State, which documents the summer program where young
women create a mock government. We're joined by co director
Amanda McBain and one of the Girls State participants, future
leader Emily Worthmore.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts. You can find me Simone
Voice at Simone Voice and.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I'm Danielle Robe at Danielle Robe ro Ba.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Y see you tomorrow
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