May 20, 2024 • 15 mins
The New York Times published an article titled, "The Ages When You Feel Most Lonely and How to Reconnect", that shows loneliness is at epidemic levels. How do we combat it?
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
All right, so there's an article in the New York
Post over the weekend called the Loneliness Curve. It's interesting.
It starts to out by saying new research suggests people
tend to be lonelier not only late in life, as
we all assume, but also early in life. Meaning for
the first time ever in their research, they're seeing that
isolation is a part of growing up. It's a part
(00:27):
of being a kid now starting your life, not really
plugged into anything like community organizations or clubs or religious groups,
going to church, whatever. You're just kind of off on
your own and you're, you know, with your phone. And
then they say later in life, of course, after your sixties,
you start to experience loneliness as well, especially after you
turn eighty. That's when you're really really lonely exactly. So
(00:52):
we never really thought about that. We've always dealt with
loneliness mostly with people who are older, are elder family members, this,
and then we don't really stop and remember that this
loneliness factor with young adults is running rampant. I mean,
it's a huge deal. This article was talking about the
curve where you start out life kind of lonely. Then
(01:14):
you become less lonely in middle aged because you interact
with more people. You may be parenting, you have to
deal with your kids, friends and teachers, or you know,
you're in the workforce, so you're dealing with people at work.
But younger in life you don't have that thing in
that kind of life, and older in life you don't
have that kind of life. Studies are suggesting that most
people benefit from having a minimum of four to six
(01:36):
close relationships. How many do you have? Have you thought
about it? Wow, I think I'm about four? Maybe, yeah,
four to six. But it's not only quantity that matters,
it's also variety and quality. They say different relationships can
fulfill different kinds of needs. So ask yourself, are you
able to rely on and support the people in your life?
(01:56):
And are your relationships mostly positive rather than negative? There
you go join a group. Are any of us members
of any groups outside this group that we work with
every day?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Like an official group?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, like a like a club.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
No, exactly, on.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
The kickball team and it was awesome, but I'm not anymore.
I should probably get on another one.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Well, that's a group I don't have. It's funny how
you asked that question, Daniel. You're like, like an organization,
like a club, you know what, Maybe twenty thirty years
ago it wasn't unusual for people of all ages to
be a member of something bigger than them, like a
group or going to church or a club where you
(02:38):
read books or so. I don't know, you know, And
I was thinking about this rob waiting this article. I'm like, no,
I really don't have anything. Then I started thinking, maybe
I am lonely, more lonely than I thought.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I could totally see how that age range, too, is
so lonely because you've been in school the entire time
up until then, right around then, and you're forced to
socialize with people, and you don't realize how different the
world is outside of that when you're not in a
classroom with twenty other people. Plus for me, that was
right when I got my job in radio, and then
my schedule was completely opposite of all of my friends.
(03:12):
So even if I wanted to go out and play,
I couldn't because they weren't available. So it was like, huh, well,
this is weird. I totally get that.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I definitely have not bounced back since pandemic pandemic days.
Of course, you know, we all experienced loneliness on different
levels depending on our situation when we were locked down.
You know, I was locked down in a farmhouse by
myself for sometimes, you know, over a week or maybe
two weeks at a time. It was the only interaction
with people I had was this in the zoom room
(03:43):
every morning, and then at ten am I turned it
off and I was just it was just crickets, right.
So I don't know if anyone else out there is
like me, where you haven't really readjusted to more of
a social life. You're lonely. People of all ages are lonely.
But they're saying that these two groups early in life
and late in life are the most affected.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
That's why my husband wants to start a company that
just provides people to keep you company, to put a
smile on your face, someone just to come to your
house to sit down and chat with you if you
don't have anybody to chat with, like.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
A Renner front, yeah, kind of like a ren afront.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
But like yeah, and he has so many people that
said they would love to work for him to do it,
you know, and just go and sit with someone who
doesn't have someone to just vent to or keep them company,
or maybe take them to the grocery store, you know,
stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Well, like you, on both sides, even if you have
that company, you're also satisfying your need. If you're visiting
people who are lonely, you're now you're not lonely because
you're with a lonely people.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
And also, you know, I was very very intrigued Gandhi.
I know everyone's in all you and Andrew and others
go to a church in food for people, you're participating
in an organization, I mean, that is exactly where we
need to be going doing.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Oh my god, And let me tell you, not only
is it great because you're doing something for the community
and you're making all this food for people who need it,
but we have such a good time when we're there,
like playing with each other, not in a creepy way,
but like actually having fun and joking around. It's fulfilling
for the soul. I love it. I would do it
more often if we could.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
If you're wondering why we're making such a big deal
about loneliness, and this comes out all the time, these
studies always suggest that people benefit from close relationships. But
loneliness is it's very dangerous. It's very unhealthy. I mean,
it's anxiety. It raises your anxiety levels, it can make
it can also increase your chances of dementia when you're
(05:41):
just kind of stuck in your own little bubble and
not interacting with people. When you interact with people, you're
working your brain, you're working your thoughts, you're working you
know everything in your head, and when you're alone, you
don't unless you have that voice that keeps talking to you,
like I do from time to time. But you have
a call, you want to go to a call or
something here, So what are your thoughts here in Nate
being Are you lonely these days? I think a lot
(06:03):
of us are.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
And yes, it's you know, it's hard because everybody I
know spends hours on their phone, and I can only
imagine being fifteen sixteen now where this is such a
huge part of your life and you're not making those
connections that you need as a human right You're relying
on your phone. And I think it's going to be
(06:27):
the death of us. To be really honest, I do agree.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I agree, and look here we are living in a
city of millions, yet it is one of the most
loneliest places in the world. Walking up and down these streets,
there are so many people. I have someone here texting
you now, Like, what about us who are totally and
always surrounded by other people, But we feel very lonely
every day. Well, you're not surrounded by other people. You
need to be surrounded by right, I've always been intrigued
(06:51):
by and I used to live on what fourth Street?
Which street has the basketball court in the village. I
live there at the corner where people would just show
up at this basketball court the courts and just start
playing ball with strangers. Yea, they just knew where to
go to be picked up in a game and interact
with strangers. The importance of play for adults is such
(07:17):
a vital, vital part of being I mean, we need
to play, right, You were talking about this earlier, right, Goda,
you read an article about playing. Why we need to
be playing more?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Oh yeah, not only for your mental health, because it
stimulates your brain, like you said, it staves off dementia,
it gives you this connection to other people. But for
your physical health. They say that the act of just
playing as an adult, whether it's basketball, kickball, something goofy
that you're doing with your friends like summer camp activities.
Going outside and playing is so important to your physical
(07:47):
health as well, because not only are you getting exercise
and you're getting activity, so it helps your blood pressure,
your heart rate, but it brings down your stress level,
which we know how bad stress is for your body
in so many ways. And playing is such an important
aspect of life in general that we really focus on
for kids. We don't focus on it for adults because
you're told you're grown up, stop playing around. You're supposed
(08:10):
to play. You're always supposed to play and keep playing
and it's really good for you. So if you can
go play with your friends, it's important.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So when I went on the slide at the carnival yesterday,
that big there you go on slide on that you know?
What is that? That the burlap sack right that neath you?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I was like, I'm a kid again. It was awesome,
I feel. Isn't that so fun?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Is fun? Especially if you're sharing those moments with people you.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Love, you know, family and friends.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
What's up? Scary?
Speaker 6 (08:38):
But it takes two people to play, right, So I'm
i don't want to say.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
No, but.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
People don't. Thing that sucks is people don't want to
talk to you.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
So it's like it takes two to tangle, right, it
takes so if I'm let's say, I'm alone, all right,
and I'm walking down the street, people are looking at
the friggin floor. People are like looking away. So you
have to actually in order to have this conversation, in
my opinion, about you know, you know, decreasing your loneliness.
It starts from a ones inward being. You have to
(09:15):
make the initiative, but you also need to be receptive
to someone who may start a conversation with you. Because
if I'm the person that's gonna be like, Okay, I'm
alone and I want to play. So I and I
start talking to people the straight, They're gonna look at
me like I have three heads, like who the hell
are you?
Speaker 7 (09:30):
You know it scary?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
You're painting a picture as if everyone is like that.
That's not true. Not everyone is going to like run
from you and shirk in horror.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
And those people aren't want to anyway.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Right. My experience is that if you approach I approach
anyone I've ever approached, even just in a casual conversation
could be in an elevator.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
They're like, the hell is this person talking to me?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
For like, it's it's always the first instinct is for
the person to shut down.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So they're the problem is larger than I think that
you know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Well, no, but scary wanting to like play basketball with
strangers on an elevator. I would say, maybe you know,
going to a park where people are playing. Maybe you
know what I'm saying. I see what you're saying, because
we all tend to want to shut people down when
they want to invade our space, right, That's what it
(10:22):
is like. For instance, we're talking earlier about Gandhi flying
from New York to LA. She's like, please don't talk
to me. Person in the seat next to me, and
the guys started talking to her and then ended up
turning into an interesting conversation.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Yeah, I like talking to strangers, and that's probably what
we were taught the complete opposite as a child, However,
I do. I enjoy like talking to somebody new and
learning something new, or learning something about a new place
or something that I don't that I don't know about.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
And I love this text, they say, And this is
so true. This is why pit cole ball is so
popular these days. You can always find a pick a
ball game. It's like, because pick a ball, you know,
they don't take it too seriously. Come, hey, let's go
play some pickle ball. Hey, I think Melissa is she'sill
online nineteen. Yeah, hey, Melissa, welcome to the show. Where
do you want to fit in in this conversation? It's
(11:06):
kind of interesting.
Speaker 8 (11:09):
Good morning? First of all, good morning or I can't
even tell you how many years, but I texted in
saying about how I haven't adjusted back to normal life
since the lockdown because once that happened, my job sent
a soul home to work, and now I work from
home five days a week. So and then all my
(11:32):
friends are off married, having kids, so they really don't
have time and it's hard to make friends as an adult.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So you're living, you're living. You're living a life of isolation,
is what you're saying. Yes, yeah, well what can you
do about that self and your mental health and maybe
your physical health to get out there and play?
Speaker 8 (11:58):
Yeah, well I recently started to. You guys actually got
me motivated enough to like take control back over my life,
to try and like try new things, and so far
I've gotten I've lost all of my COVID weight that
I gained because what else were we doing besides eating?
(12:21):
But I'm slowly getting there. It takes time to adjust
back into that normal life of socializing with people.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Well, you got to be careful. It's a slippery slope.
And I say this from personal experience. The longer you
stay isolated, the more your friends will fall away. They
will slowly get into their own thing that It's not
that they don't like you, it's just they're not in
a rhythm of friendship with you. Friendship is a rhythm.
(12:51):
You know, a lot of people in our lives, we
can go you know, years and years and we see
them and as if we never were apart. Right, That's
not always the case. With the people we see, we
need to see every day or at least once a week.
If you're not in a rhythm with them, they'll just
assume that you've got other things going on and they
won't call you again. You you do, as scary as
talking about you do have to make the effort. You
(13:11):
have to from within find the energy and the strength
to get out there and mingle and do things that
are uncomfortable sometimes, right, CONDI.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, absolutely, And this could be one of the things,
like Elvis was talking about, where you find a group
that has your common interest share like a shared common interest,
because let's say you're into gardening. At the very least,
you know you already have something to start talking to
people about, and who knows what kind of friendships can
form from there.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
In your neighborhood, do they have any like groups or
anything that you could like just at least try to,
like maybe check out.
Speaker 8 (13:44):
I've actually been slowly researching because I got back into reading,
so I wanted to try and join like a book
club and get back together. I at least have that
to look forward to. I'm not really a sports kind
of person, but I have been looking into like different
little things. It's just I'm an introvert, so it's very
(14:06):
hard for me to like make that first.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But I'm the same, I believe, or not as loud
mouthed as I am. I'm an introvert as well, and
there are many introverts listening, and maybe even in this room. Hey,
you know what, there's another thing to consider, Melissa. There's
a whole world out there of people who need help.
They need support. They need support. I mean we're talking
earlier about Gandhi and her friends. Every once in a while,
(14:32):
the little show up at a church in Jersey City
and they'll make dinners for people who need food, and
you know there's a need there. And joining other people
who recognize their importance in this world to help other people.
Being a part of that circle is good for you too.
So just consider, just consider things as easy as that
(14:53):
walking in that first time into a room, a kitchen
rather full of strangers and like, okay, I'm here to help. Well,
I'm toasting bread. What what's my goal in this session?
You know that first time you walk in through that
door is going to be the hardest, But once you're
in there, you'll start meeting people. But you're also taking
care of other people that really need your help. So
best of luck with that mother.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
Absolutely, it's like your first day on a new job.
That's the hardest part is walking through that door.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Exactly. All the best you willis say and believe me,
you have touched a nerve with many people, including myself,
who are sort of in that same boat. And thank
you for listening to us. So what have we learned here?
We're lonely and we're not playing enough. Shame on us.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
But there are ways to fix it, and that's a
good thing.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, there are ways to fix it. It's like Gandhi
playing around all the time.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, play around all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, get out and play
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
All right, so there's an article in the New York
Post over the weekend called the Loneliness Curve. It's interesting.
It starts to out by saying new research suggests people
tend to be lonelier not only late in life, as
we all assume, but also early in life. Meaning for
the first time ever in their research, they're seeing that
isolation is a part of growing up. It's a part
(00:27):
of being a kid now starting your life, not really
plugged into anything like community organizations or clubs or religious groups,
going to church, whatever. You're just kind of off on
your own and you're, you know, with your phone. And
then they say later in life, of course, after your sixties,
you start to experience loneliness as well, especially after you
turn eighty. That's when you're really really lonely exactly. So
(00:52):
we never really thought about that. We've always dealt with
loneliness mostly with people who are older, are elder family members, this,
and then we don't really stop and remember that this
loneliness factor with young adults is running rampant. I mean,
it's a huge deal. This article was talking about the
curve where you start out life kind of lonely. Then
(01:14):
you become less lonely in middle aged because you interact
with more people. You may be parenting, you have to
deal with your kids, friends and teachers, or you know,
you're in the workforce, so you're dealing with people at work.
But younger in life you don't have that thing in
that kind of life, and older in life you don't
have that kind of life. Studies are suggesting that most
people benefit from having a minimum of four to six
(01:36):
close relationships. How many do you have? Have you thought
about it? Wow, I think I'm about four? Maybe, yeah,
four to six. But it's not only quantity that matters,
it's also variety and quality. They say different relationships can
fulfill different kinds of needs. So ask yourself, are you
able to rely on and support the people in your life?
(01:56):
And are your relationships mostly positive rather than negative? There
you go join a group. Are any of us members
of any groups outside this group that we work with
every day?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Like an official group?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, like a like a club.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
No, exactly, on.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
The kickball team and it was awesome, but I'm not anymore.
I should probably get on another one.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Well, that's a group I don't have. It's funny how
you asked that question, Daniel. You're like, like an organization,
like a club, you know what, Maybe twenty thirty years
ago it wasn't unusual for people of all ages to
be a member of something bigger than them, like a
group or going to church or a club where you
(02:38):
read books or so. I don't know, you know, And
I was thinking about this rob waiting this article. I'm like, no,
I really don't have anything. Then I started thinking, maybe
I am lonely, more lonely than I thought.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I could totally see how that age range, too, is
so lonely because you've been in school the entire time
up until then, right around then, and you're forced to
socialize with people, and you don't realize how different the
world is outside of that when you're not in a
classroom with twenty other people. Plus for me, that was
right when I got my job in radio, and then
my schedule was completely opposite of all of my friends.
(03:12):
So even if I wanted to go out and play,
I couldn't because they weren't available. So it was like, huh, well,
this is weird. I totally get that.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I definitely have not bounced back since pandemic pandemic days.
Of course, you know, we all experienced loneliness on different
levels depending on our situation when we were locked down.
You know, I was locked down in a farmhouse by
myself for sometimes, you know, over a week or maybe
two weeks at a time. It was the only interaction
with people I had was this in the zoom room
(03:43):
every morning, and then at ten am I turned it
off and I was just it was just crickets, right.
So I don't know if anyone else out there is
like me, where you haven't really readjusted to more of
a social life. You're lonely. People of all ages are lonely.
But they're saying that these two groups early in life
and late in life are the most affected.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
That's why my husband wants to start a company that
just provides people to keep you company, to put a
smile on your face, someone just to come to your
house to sit down and chat with you if you
don't have anybody to chat with, like.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
A Renner front, yeah, kind of like a ren afront.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
But like yeah, and he has so many people that
said they would love to work for him to do it,
you know, and just go and sit with someone who
doesn't have someone to just vent to or keep them company,
or maybe take them to the grocery store, you know,
stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Well, like you, on both sides, even if you have
that company, you're also satisfying your need. If you're visiting
people who are lonely, you're now you're not lonely because
you're with a lonely people.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
And also, you know, I was very very intrigued Gandhi.
I know everyone's in all you and Andrew and others
go to a church in food for people, you're participating
in an organization, I mean, that is exactly where we
need to be going doing.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Oh my god, And let me tell you, not only
is it great because you're doing something for the community
and you're making all this food for people who need it,
but we have such a good time when we're there,
like playing with each other, not in a creepy way,
but like actually having fun and joking around. It's fulfilling
for the soul. I love it. I would do it
more often if we could.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
If you're wondering why we're making such a big deal
about loneliness, and this comes out all the time, these
studies always suggest that people benefit from close relationships. But
loneliness is it's very dangerous. It's very unhealthy. I mean,
it's anxiety. It raises your anxiety levels, it can make
it can also increase your chances of dementia when you're
(05:41):
just kind of stuck in your own little bubble and
not interacting with people. When you interact with people, you're
working your brain, you're working your thoughts, you're working you
know everything in your head, and when you're alone, you
don't unless you have that voice that keeps talking to you,
like I do from time to time. But you have
a call, you want to go to a call or
something here, So what are your thoughts here in Nate
being Are you lonely these days? I think a lot
(06:03):
of us are.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
And yes, it's you know, it's hard because everybody I
know spends hours on their phone, and I can only
imagine being fifteen sixteen now where this is such a
huge part of your life and you're not making those
connections that you need as a human right You're relying
on your phone. And I think it's going to be
(06:27):
the death of us. To be really honest, I do agree.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I agree, and look here we are living in a
city of millions, yet it is one of the most
loneliest places in the world. Walking up and down these streets,
there are so many people. I have someone here texting
you now, Like, what about us who are totally and
always surrounded by other people, But we feel very lonely
every day. Well, you're not surrounded by other people. You
need to be surrounded by right, I've always been intrigued
(06:51):
by and I used to live on what fourth Street?
Which street has the basketball court in the village. I
live there at the corner where people would just show
up at this basketball court the courts and just start
playing ball with strangers. Yea, they just knew where to
go to be picked up in a game and interact
with strangers. The importance of play for adults is such
(07:17):
a vital, vital part of being I mean, we need
to play, right, You were talking about this earlier, right, Goda,
you read an article about playing. Why we need to
be playing more?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Oh yeah, not only for your mental health, because it
stimulates your brain, like you said, it staves off dementia,
it gives you this connection to other people. But for
your physical health. They say that the act of just
playing as an adult, whether it's basketball, kickball, something goofy
that you're doing with your friends like summer camp activities.
Going outside and playing is so important to your physical
(07:47):
health as well, because not only are you getting exercise
and you're getting activity, so it helps your blood pressure,
your heart rate, but it brings down your stress level,
which we know how bad stress is for your body
in so many ways. And playing is such an important
aspect of life in general that we really focus on
for kids. We don't focus on it for adults because
you're told you're grown up, stop playing around. You're supposed
(08:10):
to play. You're always supposed to play and keep playing
and it's really good for you. So if you can
go play with your friends, it's important.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So when I went on the slide at the carnival yesterday,
that big there you go on slide on that you know?
What is that? That the burlap sack right that neath you?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I was like, I'm a kid again. It was awesome,
I feel. Isn't that so fun?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Is fun? Especially if you're sharing those moments with people you.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Love, you know, family and friends.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
What's up? Scary?
Speaker 6 (08:38):
But it takes two people to play, right, So I'm
i don't want to say.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
No, but.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
People don't. Thing that sucks is people don't want to
talk to you.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
So it's like it takes two to tangle, right, it
takes so if I'm let's say, I'm alone, all right,
and I'm walking down the street, people are looking at
the friggin floor. People are like looking away. So you
have to actually in order to have this conversation, in
my opinion, about you know, you know, decreasing your loneliness.
It starts from a ones inward being. You have to
(09:15):
make the initiative, but you also need to be receptive
to someone who may start a conversation with you. Because
if I'm the person that's gonna be like, Okay, I'm
alone and I want to play. So I and I
start talking to people the straight, They're gonna look at
me like I have three heads, like who the hell
are you?
Speaker 7 (09:30):
You know it scary?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
You're painting a picture as if everyone is like that.
That's not true. Not everyone is going to like run
from you and shirk in horror.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
And those people aren't want to anyway.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Right. My experience is that if you approach I approach
anyone I've ever approached, even just in a casual conversation
could be in an elevator.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
They're like, the hell is this person talking to me?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
For like, it's it's always the first instinct is for
the person to shut down.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So they're the problem is larger than I think that
you know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Well, no, but scary wanting to like play basketball with
strangers on an elevator. I would say, maybe you know,
going to a park where people are playing. Maybe you
know what I'm saying. I see what you're saying, because
we all tend to want to shut people down when
they want to invade our space, right, That's what it
(10:22):
is like. For instance, we're talking earlier about Gandhi flying
from New York to LA. She's like, please don't talk
to me. Person in the seat next to me, and
the guys started talking to her and then ended up
turning into an interesting conversation.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Yeah, I like talking to strangers, and that's probably what
we were taught the complete opposite as a child, However,
I do. I enjoy like talking to somebody new and
learning something new, or learning something about a new place
or something that I don't that I don't know about.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
And I love this text, they say, And this is
so true. This is why pit cole ball is so
popular these days. You can always find a pick a
ball game. It's like, because pick a ball, you know,
they don't take it too seriously. Come, hey, let's go
play some pickle ball. Hey, I think Melissa is she'sill
online nineteen. Yeah, hey, Melissa, welcome to the show. Where
do you want to fit in in this conversation? It's
(11:06):
kind of interesting.
Speaker 8 (11:09):
Good morning? First of all, good morning or I can't
even tell you how many years, but I texted in
saying about how I haven't adjusted back to normal life
since the lockdown because once that happened, my job sent
a soul home to work, and now I work from
home five days a week. So and then all my
(11:32):
friends are off married, having kids, so they really don't
have time and it's hard to make friends as an adult.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So you're living, you're living. You're living a life of isolation,
is what you're saying. Yes, yeah, well what can you
do about that self and your mental health and maybe
your physical health to get out there and play?
Speaker 8 (11:58):
Yeah, well I recently started to. You guys actually got
me motivated enough to like take control back over my life,
to try and like try new things, and so far
I've gotten I've lost all of my COVID weight that
I gained because what else were we doing besides eating?
(12:21):
But I'm slowly getting there. It takes time to adjust
back into that normal life of socializing with people.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Well, you got to be careful. It's a slippery slope.
And I say this from personal experience. The longer you
stay isolated, the more your friends will fall away. They
will slowly get into their own thing that It's not
that they don't like you, it's just they're not in
a rhythm of friendship with you. Friendship is a rhythm.
(12:51):
You know, a lot of people in our lives, we
can go you know, years and years and we see
them and as if we never were apart. Right, That's
not always the case. With the people we see, we
need to see every day or at least once a week.
If you're not in a rhythm with them, they'll just
assume that you've got other things going on and they
won't call you again. You you do, as scary as
talking about you do have to make the effort. You
(13:11):
have to from within find the energy and the strength
to get out there and mingle and do things that
are uncomfortable sometimes, right, CONDI.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, absolutely, And this could be one of the things,
like Elvis was talking about, where you find a group
that has your common interest share like a shared common interest,
because let's say you're into gardening. At the very least,
you know you already have something to start talking to
people about, and who knows what kind of friendships can
form from there.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
In your neighborhood, do they have any like groups or
anything that you could like just at least try to,
like maybe check out.
Speaker 8 (13:44):
I've actually been slowly researching because I got back into reading,
so I wanted to try and join like a book
club and get back together. I at least have that
to look forward to. I'm not really a sports kind
of person, but I have been looking into like different
little things. It's just I'm an introvert, so it's very
(14:06):
hard for me to like make that first.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But I'm the same, I believe, or not as loud
mouthed as I am. I'm an introvert as well, and
there are many introverts listening, and maybe even in this room. Hey,
you know what, there's another thing to consider, Melissa. There's
a whole world out there of people who need help.
They need support. They need support. I mean we're talking
earlier about Gandhi and her friends. Every once in a while,
(14:32):
the little show up at a church in Jersey City
and they'll make dinners for people who need food, and
you know there's a need there. And joining other people
who recognize their importance in this world to help other people.
Being a part of that circle is good for you too.
So just consider, just consider things as easy as that
(14:53):
walking in that first time into a room, a kitchen
rather full of strangers and like, okay, I'm here to help. Well,
I'm toasting bread. What what's my goal in this session?
You know that first time you walk in through that
door is going to be the hardest, But once you're
in there, you'll start meeting people. But you're also taking
care of other people that really need your help. So
best of luck with that mother.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
Absolutely, it's like your first day on a new job.
That's the hardest part is walking through that door.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Exactly. All the best you willis say and believe me,
you have touched a nerve with many people, including myself,
who are sort of in that same boat. And thank
you for listening to us. So what have we learned here?
We're lonely and we're not playing enough. Shame on us.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
But there are ways to fix it, and that's a
good thing.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, there are ways to fix it. It's like Gandhi
playing around all the time.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, play around all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, get out and play
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