April 18, 2024 • 41 mins
Mary Beth Barone is no stranger to doing it herself. For years, the comedian has made her rounds as a stand-up on the comedy club circuit. Mary Beth sits down with Simone and Danielle to talk about her evolution in comedy, working in a male-dominated industry, and writing, directing, producing, and funding her own comedy special on YouTube. Plus, Arianna Grande’s nonna is the oldest person to hit the Billboard Hot 100, “Crazy Rich Asians” goes to Broadway, and the merits of being “unlikeable.” Let us know what you think about being “unlikeable” at hello@thebrightsidepodcast.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What up bright Side besties, Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Today on the bright Side, we have one of the
it girls in comedy right now, inspiring us to take
big risks in our careers. Mary Beth Baron is here
to make us laugh and think. She wrote, directed, produced,
and financed her own comedy special titled thought Provoking, Oh
so Inspiring.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
And then later we're going to turn the tables and
Mary Beth asks us some thought provoking questions based on
the bright Side's core themes like friendship, dating, and aging.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
It's a fun one, y'all. It's Thursday, April eighteenth.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm Simone Voice, I'm Danielle Robe and this is the
bright Side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Danielle, what's new with you? I feel like we haven't
caught up in a minute.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Actually, I know, I have been reading and watching TV.
I haven't done a daily show in a while, and
I forgot something really funny. When you do a daily show,
part of your job is to be interesting, and so
I haven't had time to read, to consume content, to
(01:06):
watch things. And last weekend and this week I made
it a point to do that. So I caught up
on Tokyovice season two, which is unbelievable, and I'm really
just infatuated and obsessed with Japanese culture, and so it's
really an amazing show. And then Girls five Eva, which
is so funny and I love Busy Phillips and I
(01:28):
love that show.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Have you seen Showgun on FX No, also about Japanese culture,
but it takes place many many moons ago. It's kind
of like Game of Thrones ish, but set in Japanese culture.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You know, it's funny.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I went to Japan a few years ago, like right
before COVID hit, and the fashion there is unbelievable. They're
like years ahead of us. Yeah, what's going on with you?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I also have been trying to prioritize just reading and
not really watching TV as much. I watched that Ripley
show and I loved it. But I am trying to
get through this fantasy series a Katar that a lot
of people love these days. So I'm working my way
through that, and that's been really great. That's been a rendy.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
You have time to read, like right before bed.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
In the evenings. Yeah, it's really tough, though.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I am feeling so strapped for time these days between
kids and the show. But I also have been investing
in my health more lately. I'm really on my bodybuilder
game again. Hmmm, smashing my teens, smashing my protein. I'm
lifting weights. Should we get into our morning drip?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I think so? All right.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Ariana Grande's ninety eight year old Nonah is breaking music
industry records. Marjorie Grande is now the oldest living person
to make the Billboard.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Hot one hundred.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
That's so cool.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I know, you know, I don't want to make this
about me because it's not. But people always say that
Ariana Grande is my celebrity doppelganger.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Uh oh, is this a Chelsea from Love is Blind moment?
Right now?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
You tell me, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I don't see it really no, I.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Kind of had you come up to me at the gym.
What it's the ponytail? So Ariana Grande. They released this
really cute Instagram photo where she's holding the plaque and
it's it's sweet, like, it's really exciting to see.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I love hearing stories about folks in their golden years
experiencing success later in life.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
This is so cool.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
I mean, obviously it's facilitated by her super famous, super
hot granddaughter, but.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I love this for Nona.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I love it for Nona, and I love it for
Ariana too, because I think audiences like us are just
craving that personal touch.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I love getting to know people's families.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
When we were at south By Southwest when we kicked
off the show, my grandma was actually at south By two.
She had a movie, like a VR film about her life,
and the producers and I were laughing because I kept
texting her to see her and she could not find time.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
She calls me schnooky.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
She was like, I'd love to see you, Schnuoky, but
I'm very busy.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
That is the cutest nickname ever.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, but Ariana Grande's Nona found some time, So my
Olma better.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Take a page out of her book.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
I love it all right.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Crazy Rich Asians is headed to Broadway. The movie was
a huge smash at the box office. Audiences loved it.
My mom and I have watched this movie a hundred
times together.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I lotch you, Oh yeah, we love like.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Any sort of romance films, and we fight about it
because I'll tell her about how like this part isn't
feminist or female forward, and she was like, Danielle, it's
love get.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Over it is she a bit more traditional in that respect, Yeah,
she is, and she's very romantic, so she loved that film.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
But I'm excited that it's gonna be turned into a
musical because it's gonna be based on the movie, which
was based on a trilogy of books, which I actually
didn't know, and it's gonna have great vision because it's
directed by John m chu who directed the movie, and
he's directed a ton of other musical films Wicked in
the Heights, and this is his Broadway directorial debut.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
This is going to be a walk in the park
for him, though.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I mean, some of those dance scenes and in the
Heights were just so impressive. They were on such a
massive scale. So he's going to nail this.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Okay, we have to talk about likability.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Oh, let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Simona and I.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Both came across this article in Glamour and we could
not stop texting about it. So we have to bring
it to the pod. Anya Meerwitz wrote an article titled
learning to be Unlikable is the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Here's why. That headline, first of all, amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Amazing, and the topic really intrigued both of us. She
talks about her deep seated desire to be likable, and
she gives incredible examples, like at a massage parlor, the
massage isn't going great, but she doesn't want to say anything.
At the hospital when she was giving birth, she really
wanted the staff to like her, so she was scared
to need anything. She goes into rewriting emails to be likable,
(06:02):
even like talking to payroll when they haven't paid her
on time.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
She doesn't want to be unlikable.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
This is such a universal issue that I think so
many women struggle with, myself included. You have to read
this article. Make it a priority to read this article.
It was really profound and it got me thinking about
all the things that I've sacrificed in the name of
being likable, like my happiness, different opportunities. Ultimately, the desire
(06:31):
to be likable has cost me my safety at times
as well.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
And I think when you look.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Across all levels of society you can see examples of this.
There's the issue of likability in politics. Voters elect quote
unlikable male candidates all the time, but then female candidates
have to work twice as hard in order to gain
that elusive likability factor. And that's the thing, like, likability
is this amorphous, abstract term.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
It's so hard to define. What does that even mean?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
That's part of what's today dificult about it.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah, exactly likability in Hollywood, I mean Sophia Coppola said
she lost funding for a project because her characters weren't
likable enough. There's also a likability gap in business. This
article references and experiment from Columbia Business School that studied
the likability gap by doing a side by side comparison
of resumes. So researchers took a female entrepreneur's resume and
(07:22):
they made two identical copies of it. One they attributed
to Heidi Rosen, who was the actual businesswoman behind that resume,
and the other copy they just made up any random
male name. They called him Howard, And then they asked
a group of business school students to compare the resumes,
and the students agreed that both Heidi and Howard were competent,
but they said that Howard was deemed more agreeable in
(07:45):
someone you'd want to work with, while Heidi the exact
same resume, she was deemed to be aggressive, selfish, and
not the ideal colleague.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I think that likability is an impossible bind because you
want to be viewed as a leader or a boss
at work, and ultimately, in many ways, when you are
a woman, you are looked at as bossy. And for me,
I feel like a victim and a volunteer in the
(08:17):
likability trap. I feel like I'm a highly sensitive person
who can feel people deeply, and so if I say
something that you don't like, I can feel it right away.
I see it in your eyes and your body language.
I can just feel it, and I want you to
like me. And on the other hand, I want to
be a competent leader who says what she believes. And
(08:41):
one of the things I've learned at work as I've
had more experience, is that sometimes you are the expert
in the room. And I think as women, we have
the propensity to look at other people as experts and
taking ownership over your own expertise is really big. But
I think likability will cost you jobs. It will cost
(09:03):
you negotiation like salaries. It's very difficult to navigate. The
only thing that has ever helped me with this is
Alicia Menendez's book called The Likability Trap. She's a journalist
at MSNBC and her book honestly changed my life. She's
the one that called it the impossible bind.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Yeah, it's funny that you mentioned that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I have her in my notes too, just to give
her a shout out, because she's done incredible work on
this topic.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
You know, it's funny, Danielle.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
You don't strike me as someone who struggles with likability
or the desire to be liked.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Really no, not from the outside.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
But I think Alicia talks about that as well in
her book, Like you wouldn't assume that this has been
a challenge for her either, but she says that she
struggles with it quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Where do you see it show up in your life
the most?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Well, I think it shows up less and less as
I get older, and less and less as I spend
more time as a mom, because you honestly just run
out of in space to care about what other people
think about you. I don't have as much time. But
something that Alicia brought up as well is that your
relationship with likability is often a reflection of your mother's
(10:12):
relationship with likability, and we learn this desire to be
likable from our moms. My mom sought likability in an
interpersonal context throughout her life, not necessarily in a professional context.
But I definitely saw the ways in which she was
aiming to appease or please people. And I saw that,
(10:35):
and I think I wanted to run in the opposite direction,
and I vacillated back and forth. I think in your twenties,
it's really difficult to combat that desire to be likable.
But now I'm feeling more firmly rooted, more confident, and
I feel like I'm better equipped to combat this desire
to be likable now.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I like hearing that motherhood helped you with that. I
think age has helped me with it. But motherhood is
something I hear a lot from women that I interview.
You just run out of bleeps, exactly.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
But I want us to also talk about solutions, because
one thing I want to be wary of on this
show and just in life, is dwelling on the struggles
of womanhood, because I think that that can disempower us.
To me, the solution here is being brave enough to
be unlikable, because the more that we do that, we
set an example for other women to do the same.
(11:28):
I think it's also being wise enough to know that
unlikable women are actually super relatable. We see that in
films and TV shows all the time. And then, as
Alisha would say, advocating for other women is another way
to squash this likability complex.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
That to me is the most significant one, because it's
really hard, especially at work. There's power in numbers, so
when people support you in something, it's very powerful. I
do think a lot of time we think about solutions
as like incumbent upon us, and it's important to take
responsibility for your actions, and it's important to do everything
(12:10):
you can to be the solution. But I also think
part of the solution is having men recognize this, Like
I want to know how many men read Alicia's book.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I think having a.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Generation of men get more comfortable with women speaking in
a certain tone, or like eliminating that word difficult or unlikable.
We don't call men difficult unlikable, Diva, these are singular
words for women.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I think that will really help too.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
After the break, we'll hear from another proudly unlikable woman,
pop provoking comedian Mary Beth Buron.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
By the way, those are her words, not ours.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
All right, y'all, we're back, featuring one of our favorite
working comedians, the very funny Mary Beth Burn.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Now you may have seen her on The Tonight Show
with Jimmy Fallon, or touring with Chelsea Handler and Jenny Slate,
even podcasting with Benito Skinner, or in her brand new
YouTube comedy special called Thought Provoking. Mary Beth, Welcome to
the bright Side.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
It is so good to be here. You are both
so smiley, and I feel this energy. It's really uncommon,
so it's great to be here.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
We're contractually obligated to smile thirty six times per episode,
so thanks for noticing.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Honestly, not the first time I've been called smiley? Are
you ever called smiley?
Speaker 6 (13:43):
Never? Once? In my whole life?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
What are you called?
Speaker 5 (13:47):
I would say stonefaced, inscrutable, stoic. A lot of those
adjectives are how I'm described dry.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Have you always been that way? Or is this a
persona that you put on when you're on stage?
Speaker 6 (14:00):
I have always been this way.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
I didn't even know I was doing like dry humor
until people told me, and then now I watch I've
seen some home videos of me as a kid. My
dad like digitized all our home videos, and I was
the exact same as a kid, very serious.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Were you always performing in those videos? Did you have
a mic? Were you doing stand up? From an early age?
Speaker 5 (14:24):
We had a lot of like performances in our front hall.
Speaker 6 (14:27):
There's a lot of like dances.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
There's some variety shows, and there is a video of
me and my ex best friend dancing to Stop Right
Now by the Spice Girls that has circulated online. So yeah,
I have a deep history of performance.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
I would say Danielle, she's a theater kid. We have
a live one kid. We got a live one folks.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
But I'm a theater kid who never did theater. Isn't
that cool? I never did a play.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
I don't know why. I just was like, you know what,
I think I'm too big time for it. I'm too
big time for the play.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I feel like it's more of an identity than it
is an action.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yeahs, members of the review board for theater Kids, we
permit you to join the club.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
You absolutely qualify.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Well, you're doing comedy now, that's what everybody knows you for.
You have a comedy special titled thought Provoking, and I
just want everybody to know how many titles you hold.
When it comes to this comedy special. You wrote it,
you directed it, you financed it, and you produced it.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
I did.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Why did you create thought provoking?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I created thought provoking because I had a lot that
I wanted to say, and I wanted to put it
out as a complete work, and I didn't necessarily want
to wait for the taste makers in their glass towers
to give me permission to do that. Just sort of
realizing what the trends are in comedy right now. It
(15:50):
feels like there are a chosen few who are allowed
and given the space to make their own creative decisions
and get these massive deals at streamers, and it just
felt like that probably wasn't going to happen, at least
not in the timeframe that I wanted it to. So
I just decided I wanted to do it my own
way and be the creative force behind it and make
(16:11):
it exactly what I wanted it to be. Which, you know,
the people that give you money often have a lot
of opinions. But I'm lucky enough to have a podcast
that I do that helps me pay the bills, and
I have some money saved where I was able to
finance it, and I am really proud of it. There's
a lot of things that you know I would do differently,
but it was a good exercise, and like, this is
(16:33):
the footage we have, this is what we're able to
do with it, and how do we make that the
best version of the special that we can?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
There's an incredible story behind the title. Thought provoking. It's
kind of a dunk. Actually, can you elaborate please?
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
I was submitting a set for late night TV last
year and I was told by the booker that my
jokes were too trying to make a point, of course,
and he asked if I had any jokes that weren't
as much of that, so just less trying to make
a point. And I just thought, you know what, I
actually don't. I have jokes that make a point, and
(17:10):
I'm comfortable with that. So if that's not the right fit,
it's not the right fit, and that's okay.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Do you think you would ever say something like that
to a male comedian.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
I think male comedians maybe they're just not making a
point and maybe that's something.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
We need to think about and maybe that's the point.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Wait, but you have this joke, speaking of male comedians,
you have this joke where you say men are so
mad at me for speaking What were you talking about?
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Will you share more behind that?
Speaker 5 (17:37):
Yeah, I have started posting clips on social media and
I posted some on YouTube, and the comments I was getting,
I mean, they want me dead, they want women dead,
or in the kitchen. I literally got a comment that
was like, women are good at three things, blowjobs, being
in the kitchen, and I don't even remember the third thing.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
I'm sure it was really profound.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
But there's still a lot of people online who are
comfortable posting and saying things like that. So I knew
this special would piss them off. And that's okay because
I don't make comedy for them.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Who do you make comedy for?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
I make comedy, as I say in the special, for girls,
gay guys, and the straight men who love us. That's
my demo and I'm really comfortable with that.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
In your special, you talk about one of the benefits
being that you get to choose what you wear, and
what female comedians wear has been the subject of much discussion.
So can you talk about that calculus behind your wardrobe
when you go on stage? How do you make that decision?
Speaker 5 (18:36):
There's a lot of thought that goes into what I
wear on stage? Because you want to wear something that
you don't have to adjust a lot because that can
be distracting. So for this special, I really wanted it
to be super intentional. And there are a lot of
sort of unwritten rules about what people should and shouldn't
wear on stage, and I think what's so fun about
having more women and queer people in comedy is that
(18:59):
we're really re writing rules and making it whatever we
want it to be. And one thing I love about
my audience is that they're excited to see what I'm wearing,
and I've established that I'm going to turn a look
when it's like my show. So I love that they
support me in making comedy fashionable because we have a
lot of work to do and it starts with us.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Women don't always have to wear flannel shirts and jeans
on stage. If you want to, that's fine, that's your
prerogative totally.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
But if you want to wear a gown that is
Kate Moss's from the nineties, you should also do that.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yeah, I think it's important to share a little backstory there.
It's sort of a thing that women have to quote
ugly up on stage in comedy, and so I think
there's been a few female comedians that have tried to
push the envelope there, you being one of them.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
I think it's because we were trying to fit into
male spaces, and we were trying to do shows and
be on lineups with people that were attracting a certain
audience who don't align necessarily with what we're saying. Being
a a female comedian is sort of political in and
of itself, So for me it's yeah, if I have
definitely had feedback when I'm performing at clubs or more
(20:09):
traditional stand up venues, like, well, your clothes are distracting,
and I think if you can't watch my stand up
without being distracted unless you're totally blinded by how beautiful
the outfit is, then I don't know if I'll ever
get you on side, So best to just part ways amicably.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Mary Beth, I hate to do this. I really don't
want to have to call out your mom, but I'm
gonna have to.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Do it.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Because when you were growing up, she told you that
female comedians just aren't funny. All they do is talk
about their periods. So is your whole career one big
I told you so to your mom.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
You know, it's so funny because I remember it so
vividly as a kid hearing that, and I was like,
I guess that kind of makes sense. But I didn't
think about it again for many, many years, and then
I was like, oh my god, I can't believe that's
like what I had been internalizing.
Speaker 6 (20:57):
And she definitely has.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Like I say, she's apologized, but I think a lot
of the comedy that was making it into people's homes
back in the nineties from women specifically, it felt like
they had to lean so hard into being a woman
and that could be their only identifier and they can't
really speak much outside of like being crass, which I
am also crass, But it was probably hard to stick
(21:20):
out in such a male dominated industry back then and
feel really singular.
Speaker 6 (21:25):
So while I don't agree.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
And I know there were a lot of women even
in the nineties totally breaking the mold, I understand that
a lot of what she was probably seeing might have
been tapping into that. But needless to say, I do
have some jokes about my period in vagina, and she's
totally okay with that as long as it's part of
a larger body of work.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
A qword body.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah, Yeah, I want to go back to something that
you said about how people view comedians almost monolithically. I
feel like that's especially true for female comedians. You, being
a female comedian, I'm sure you sometimes feel like you're
expected to carry the entire legacy of female comedians on
your back.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
Yeah, it is this pressure of like, because you're a comedian,
you sort of have to speak out on every issue.
And I'm trying to be really thoughtful about speaking on
things that I am educated on and things that I
feel really passionate about. So sometimes you want to be
like amplifying like every single issue. I really respect the
people that have come before me because there were even
(22:25):
fewer people in their corner who were helping uplift them.
It was sort of like you either fit in with
the guys or you don't survive. Whereas now, I think
comedy is a lot more democratic, and we can produce
independent shows, and we can put stuff out online and
our audiences can find us, and I'm just really grateful
that those people were there to pave the way. But
(22:47):
for me right now, my approach is just like pick
a few things that I'm passionate about, and you kind
of like bread crumb it in with the funny stuff
so that people are getting the information, but they it's
like putting like sugar and medicine together.
Speaker 6 (23:00):
That's what I try to do.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Even in the special, you know, I talk about a
lot of different topics, but I try to make sure
that there's enough dumb jokes in there, but that everything
is of course trying to make a point.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Don't want to be too thought provoking.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
God, for it can be tough. It can be tough.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Maybe, but from the outside looking in, it seems like
you've experienced a lot of success in such a short
amount of time. I mean, you left Boston College, moved
to New York City, quit your startup job to pursue
comedy full time, and now you're crushing it.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
How does it feel to be that girl in comedy?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
That's very nice of you to say, I have chills.
I think this industry is incredibly taxing, and there is
a lot of rejection, and there's a lot of moments where,
especially if you look at people around you, you can
feel like you're not accomplishing enough, or you're not getting enough,
or you're not doing enough. So I'm working on moments
of gratitude and feeling accomplished because I actually moved to
(23:56):
New York and I had no idea what I wanted
to do, and I had a job for years, and
then I decided to be a comedian, which is like
so random and insane, and I every step of the way,
my friends and family have been there for me one
hundred and ten percent. Having that support system is so invaluable.
And just like female friendship in general is such a
beautiful thing that I think gets portrayed as like, you know,
(24:19):
pinning women against each other and not being supportive.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
We're talking about each other, but that's not my experience.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
You have to be a little Delulu to have a lot,
a lot Delulu. Yes, you come from a big family.
Are you the most Delulu sibling in the bunch?
Speaker 6 (24:34):
One hundred percent?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, what's a big fam happen?
Speaker 5 (24:38):
I'm one of six, I'm the youngest of six, so
three girls, three boys, and I'm just like, I'm very
different from my siblings. I care about fashion, I like
love brands. I'm like a capitalist pig but also a
socialist and I love attention. That's that's my love language.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
It's so gen z to be capitalist and socialist all
at the same time, you're very on trend.
Speaker 6 (25:00):
Well, I'm a Gemini, so I can be both, which
is cool.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So I'm a big fan of Ride, which is your podcast,
Thank you, and you do it with your co host
who's also a comedian, Benito Skinner aka Benny Drama and
you guys are so funny.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
How did this come together?
Speaker 5 (25:18):
So this was during the pandemic Benito and I, Well,
he was approached and he was asked if you wanted
to do a podcast, and he was like, I will
do a podcast, but only if I can do it
with Mary Beth. And then we were thinking about what
we wanted the podcast to be, and we wanted it
to be really positive. We wanted it to be a
space where we could come and talk about things that
we really enjoy and just be earnest and genuine and
(25:40):
we each bring one thing per week that we ride
for and we really feel the love for this podcast,
and I think having a platform where we just talk
about things that we love, like our audiences when we
perform live, we can feel that they're coming from a
place of positivity and they're not sitting there with their
arms crossed like ready to be cultural commentators. They're just like,
(26:01):
let's have fun, let's be silly and crazy and tap
into those goofy selves that I think women are sort
of told to like suppress when we're teenagers. But this
podcast is not about that. The podcast is about just
like love and joy. And we do smile.
Speaker 6 (26:19):
Sometimes on the podcast, so there's some synergy there.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
You may all of us smile.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
I feel a major crossover event happening. I don't know
between like The bright Side and Ride, because.
Speaker 6 (26:30):
I could see a collab. I totally see.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
It's just like you know, somepottico.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
A lot of comedians I know make comedy rounds in
terms of stand up.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Their mainstays at the laugh Factory or the comedy store
or the improv and they and that's like their home.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
And you've really.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Done it a different way. What is your advice in
terms of doing it your own way?
Speaker 5 (26:50):
I would say the most important thing for me has
been and this applies to comedy, but I think it
could be applicable to other verticals as well. I am
my own favorite comedian. And you should do the thing
if you believe that, you are going to love your
work the most, because if you don't believe in the work.
It's actually impossible to convince other people to like sign
(27:11):
on for it. So I just think that is so important.
And if you have a burning desire, like let it
simmer for a bit and see.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
If it keeps nagging at you.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
Yeah, I've blown up my entire life multiple times and
take risks. The fear of it going wrong is worse
than the reality.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I think, blow it up. Blow it up.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
Unless you're joining the armed forces, that is like totally different.
I can't speak to that. They might not work out.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I love that you said blowing that you've blown your
life up multiple times, like I have to, Yes, you
got to blow your life up.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
If you're not blowing your life up, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (27:51):
You're not living. That's what life's about. It's just like
I really stand by that. Again, I'm in a position
of privilege because I have a support system.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
But I thought you were gonna say you were in
a position of privilege because you have a British boyfriend.
Speaker 6 (28:04):
Because I have a British boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
That yeah, also true, doesn't really stuff just doesn't really
affect me the same way.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Do you ever make him like like reenact certain like
scenes from period films, because that's what I would do
if I had a British boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
I would if he wasn't constantly getting cast in period
films and TV shows.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
So I feel like I get to see it. Yeah,
he's an actor.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
He always gets cast as characters who wear blouses, you
know what I mean, Like, he's always in a blouse.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
We love a blouse king.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
I'm in a blouse right now, and you know what,
it looks good.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
I honestly think the world would benefit from more blouse
kings in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Is Lenny Kravitz a blouse king?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
He's a Did you see him wearing leather pants in
the gym? Did you see that clip of him?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (28:45):
You know what I did?
Speaker 5 (28:46):
And that's actually crazy behavior from someone who wore leather
pants on stage one time and they split up the front.
So let's just say I would not be running to
wear leather at the gym for him.
Speaker 6 (28:57):
But I think it's great.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Mary Beth, we have to take a quick break, but
when we come back, we are going to be brave
like you told us to, diving into some of your
provoking thoughts.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Okay, we are back with Mary Beth buron and we're
gonna flip the script a little right now, and you're
actually going to be in the host chair.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
MB.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
You have some thought provoking questions for us based on
some of our bright Side themes like friendship, dating, aging, optimism,
et cetera. So the floor is yours, Marybeth, please host
our show.
Speaker 6 (29:32):
Okay, So, welcome to the bright Side. I'm Mary. That's brown.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
It's so great to be here with such a steam guests,
and I think we should just dive right in.
Speaker 6 (29:41):
What are you saying? Do it?
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Let's go.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
Okay, So I've prepared some questions to provoke thots and
everyone listening. You can also bring these to the group chat,
bring these to the next Hinge date or whatever app
you use, and see what people say, see if you're
in alignment. So the first question has to do with dating.
So my the question to you is would you turn
into an ogre permanently if it meant that you got
(30:05):
to be with the love of your life?
Speaker 4 (30:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (30:08):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Yeah, Okay, I love Winds. I am such a sucker
for big love. I'm holding out for it.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah, I'm all about goblin mode already. Okay, that's like
not a stretch.
Speaker 6 (30:22):
This is This isn't even a departure.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
No Ogre mode is the next level up from goblin mode.
So that's how you'll evolve. Yeah, I'm here for it.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
I will say waiting for big love is totally worth it.
Thank you for that, even if you have to turn
into an ogre.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
When I hear other people who find it tell me that,
it makes me be okay holding out, So thank you.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
You got to be patient.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
But it's what we're on earth to do, is to
like find our big love. So okay, great, you're both
on the right side of history and pro ogre. Next question,
if you did twenty three and meters and found out
that you had a secret relative, who would be your
first call?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I did this, although I think I did ancestry dot Com,
which is like maybe my biggest regret because now, like
the government has my DNA.
Speaker 6 (31:09):
It's not it. They've probably had it before I have it.
Speaker 5 (31:12):
All.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah, I guess that's true. I'm like highly findable.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Now.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
There's like so many people on ancestry dot Com that
they say I'm related to. It's like my fifth cousin.
There's a million of them all over the world. I
called my grandmother because she's the keeper of our family
tree to see if any of this was legit.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
She was uninterested. She said she has her own ancestry
dot com account and that I need to focus on
my job.
Speaker 6 (31:38):
Well, she was like, this is old news.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Don't leave me with this crap exactly.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
I actually did find out that I have a bonus brother,
but it wasn't through ancestry. I haven't told you this story,
so I guess i'll tell you.
Speaker 6 (31:50):
I'm seeded right now. This is huge.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
It was huge.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Okay, So I've been an only child my whole life.
Right I was twenty one, I was in college. I'm
home for Thanksgiving. Break says to me, Simone, I need
you to come sit down. We have some big news
to share with you. My heart is pounding outside of
my chest right now. This I'm like reliving that moment
I thought somebody had cancer. I thought somebody was dying.
He tells me, I had a son in college that
(32:15):
I didn't know about, and you have a half brother,
and I in that moment, like it just talk about
blowing up your life, like it blew up my whole life.
So eventually we got to meet and we connected and yeah,
now I have a half brother that I only met
(32:37):
when I was an adult.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
It's crazy.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
Wow, that's a I mean, that's huge for your whole family.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
It is pretty cool too that your dad sat you
down and just told you, Yeah, it's not easy to
share news like that.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
That must have been hard for him.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Yeah, there's like, there's there's some beautiful parts that come
with it. There's obviously a lot of baggage, a lot
of like where you know, just the mes seness of
humanity comes in. But my dad and my brother I
have a really good relationship now I think is as
best as you could hope for. So yeah, it is possible.
You never know, you could have a bonus relative out
there somewhere.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Folks.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Thanks for sharing with us.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
Yeah, that's beautiful. And who is your first call? I
have to know, Oh my first call?
Speaker 3 (33:19):
It was probably whoever was in my top eight at
the time on my space. Yeah, one of my one
of my best friends from college. I honestly can't remember it,
but yeah, topic.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
Top eight was huge. I mean, talk about divisive.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
That was polarization, that was weaponizing social media. Last question,
what's been the most surprising benefit of getting older?
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Oh, very bad, hard hitting questions. These are so bright side.
Speaker 6 (33:48):
I have to provoke the thoughts.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I think. For me, it's been surrendering.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
I used to feel like I could control everything and
that if I didn't do EXWY and Z, I wouldn't
get a certain outcome.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
And I'm sort of free of that now.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
And it's that is freeing, like to know that only
a certain amount is in your control and not act
out of these deep emotions that you don't understand where.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
They're coming from. Yeah, Like when you're in.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
College, if there's like a guy that rejects you, you
just go and you like text another guy. And that
is such a like metaphor of like what not to
do in life, you know, And so that reaction I
don't have anymore. Like if I get rejected by a
man or a job or anything, I don't go put
(34:39):
my mess of emotions on anybody else.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I can self regulate.
Speaker 6 (34:42):
Now that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
I love that. I think the most surprising benefit of
getting older, I'm torn it's either day drinking or JOEMO,
because day drinking is just fantastic. It's a revelation.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
You go your whole adolescent life thinking that you can
only drink between the hours of nine pm to two am.
But then when you hit a certain age, your world
just opens up and you could have an aperall Sprits
at eleven am or you know, and then keep drinking
Mimosa's at.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
A bottomless brunch. Damn.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I mean, all the timeline shift a bit, you know,
we go to bed a lot earlier, and then Jomo too.
I mean, Jomo is a huge benefit, the joy of
missing out. I don't I don't feel the fear anymore.
Speaker 6 (35:30):
I'm so with you. I feel like Jomo is fab
Mary Beth, what's yours?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Well?
Speaker 5 (35:36):
Besides being able to like go out to dinner whenever
I want and not be stressed about my bank account,
I think for me, it's just being more honest. Like
I don't really care as much how things are perceived
by others, and I feel like being honest. And I
read about this in the Bell Hooks book All about Love,
which like really reinforced my approach, which is just like
(35:58):
I'm way more honest with people, and if if you
want my opinion, I'm going to give you exactly how
I feel. And if you don't like that, then it's
not like I'm like out being a bitch to everyone.
It's just like, I will give you my honest response,
and that is something I wasn't always able to do,
and I think that's been really fun to explore, just
being upfront with people.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
This actually reminds me of something that we were just
talking about earlier today, So it's this idea of the
power of being unlikable. There is this Glamour article that
got us thinking about this, and the headline is learning
to be unlikable is the best thing I've ever done.
Does that idea resonate with you?
Speaker 6 (36:38):
Yeah, because I'm not for everyone.
Speaker 5 (36:40):
And if I wanted a career where I was palatable
and broad, which is fine and so respectable, I would
have gone about things completely differently. But I just think
that my comedy and my point of view can be
really polarizing. And I know there's people that think I'm
just like a mouthy bitch and that's your honest reaction
(37:00):
to me, and that's fine. But I again like I'm
repelling the right people because I don't care if they
don't like me. But I think that that's something that
does come with age, and I do credit a lot
of unlikable female characters that have come onto our TV
screens in the last decade.
Speaker 6 (37:16):
Because that's like, that was formative.
Speaker 4 (37:18):
Who are some of those unlikable female characters you're thinking of?
Speaker 6 (37:22):
The entire cast of girls comes to mind. Yes, Sex
and the City.
Speaker 5 (37:28):
I saw this article recently about gen Z watching Sex
in the City and how the views in it are
outdated and the characters aren't likable. But I'm like, they're complex.
They make choices that you feel are wrong. That's how
everyone leads their lives. They're acting selfishly and they make mistakes,
and I think that seeing that on TV is like
an important part of accepting ourselves for who we are.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
What's your next blow up? Are you gonna? Are you
planning to blow up your life?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Maybe this is a new thing. Instead of blow up,
it's blow up.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Oh I love that it's your blow up.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
I will tell you, but you have to bleep in.
I don't want you to cut it, but I want
to spark intrigue. Okay, okay, keep the mystery, keep the mystery.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
I might.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
Stop, really I might. I'm not sure yet. I'm figuring
it out. I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 4 (38:12):
That I did not see that coming.
Speaker 6 (38:14):
I was thinking, Wow, I have some stuff to figure
out before.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
Yeah, yeah, we can make some calls too for you,
like we know something.
Speaker 6 (38:23):
I will need it.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Thanks for sharing your next blow up with us, the
next blow up, Mary Beth. I love what you're bringing
to comedy. Thanks so much for bringing it to the
bright side too.
Speaker 5 (38:32):
Thank you so much for having me. Thanks for watching
the special. I feel like that makes me feel really good.
I'm going to ride that wave for the five minutes
after we hang up. I'm going to celebrate that, and
then I'll be back to my toxic thoughts. But this
was so lovely, and thank you for creating a space
where people can be smiley and talk about funny things
(38:52):
and not funny things.
Speaker 6 (38:53):
And I love it. More women with podcasts, please you guys,
seriously please, it's.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
A boys club out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yeah, it's enough, especially in the top ten. One of
my favorite quotes is if you can make them laugh,
you can make them listen. And that's really what I
think you're doing, so thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Mary Beth Barone is a comedian, writer, and actor. You
can watch her latest special, Thought Provoking Now on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
I love her dry sense of humor. She really tickles
my funny bone.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
I know, she cracks me up, you know.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I love how she created her own content and put
herself on stage and wrote and produced and directed and
financed it.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
It's really freaking hard to do that, and she didn't
wait for permission. I feel like.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
In life, at any stage, there's all of these like
false guardrails that are set up, like you have to
do a certain thing to get into college, or do
a certain you have to have a job as an
assistant before you become a manager. And she just said,
I'm not gonna wait to do it the way everybody
else has. I'm gonna do it myself. And she gave
her self permission. And I really respect that.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
You can see how she did that at several different
turning points in her life. Every step of the way,
she's giving herself permission, and she's not afraid to blow
up her life. I'm still thinking about that phrase, blow
ups over glow ups.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
You like that one? I love it.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
She's the queen of blow ups. I can't wait to
see what she does next. I think if we watch her,
we'll be amazed to see where she goes in Like
the next ten years.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah, and I think it could take some twists and turns.
She's highly intelligent, just like most funny people are.
Speaker 4 (40:38):
Mm hmm, very true.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
All right, bright Side besties, we are featuring our April
Reese's book Club pick on the show very soon. The
author is Clara Lombardo and the book is the most
fun we ever had. So send in your questions for
Claire to Hello at the bright Side podcast dot com, and.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You don't want to miss Tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
We're talking about out what so many women on the
internet are talking about birth control. Fortunately, we have an
expert here obg y N and CEO of sanctum Med Wellness,
doctor Jessica Shepherd is answering all of our questions about
side effects, pain and how to feel confident in choosing
a birth control method that's right for you.
Speaker 6 (41:20):
Oof.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Such an important topic. All right, that's it for today's show.
Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
I'm Simone Voice.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
You can find me at simone Voice on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
That's ro Ba y see you tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Folks, keep looking on the bright side.
What up bright Side besties, Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Today on the bright Side, we have one of the
it girls in comedy right now, inspiring us to take
big risks in our careers. Mary Beth Baron is here
to make us laugh and think. She wrote, directed, produced,
and financed her own comedy special titled thought Provoking, Oh
so Inspiring.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
And then later we're going to turn the tables and
Mary Beth asks us some thought provoking questions based on
the bright Side's core themes like friendship, dating, and aging.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
It's a fun one, y'all. It's Thursday, April eighteenth.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm Simone Voice, I'm Danielle Robe and this is the
bright Side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Danielle, what's new with you? I feel like we haven't
caught up in a minute.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Actually, I know, I have been reading and watching TV.
I haven't done a daily show in a while, and
I forgot something really funny. When you do a daily show,
part of your job is to be interesting, and so
I haven't had time to read, to consume content, to
(01:06):
watch things. And last weekend and this week I made
it a point to do that. So I caught up
on Tokyovice season two, which is unbelievable, and I'm really
just infatuated and obsessed with Japanese culture, and so it's
really an amazing show. And then Girls five Eva, which
is so funny and I love Busy Phillips and I
(01:28):
love that show.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Have you seen Showgun on FX No, also about Japanese culture,
but it takes place many many moons ago. It's kind
of like Game of Thrones ish, but set in Japanese culture.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You know, it's funny.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I went to Japan a few years ago, like right
before COVID hit, and the fashion there is unbelievable. They're
like years ahead of us. Yeah, what's going on with you?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I also have been trying to prioritize just reading and
not really watching TV as much. I watched that Ripley
show and I loved it. But I am trying to
get through this fantasy series a Katar that a lot
of people love these days. So I'm working my way
through that, and that's been really great. That's been a rendy.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
You have time to read, like right before bed.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
In the evenings. Yeah, it's really tough, though.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I am feeling so strapped for time these days between
kids and the show. But I also have been investing
in my health more lately. I'm really on my bodybuilder
game again. Hmmm, smashing my teens, smashing my protein. I'm
lifting weights. Should we get into our morning drip?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I think so? All right.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Ariana Grande's ninety eight year old Nonah is breaking music
industry records. Marjorie Grande is now the oldest living person
to make the Billboard.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Hot one hundred.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
That's so cool.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I know, you know, I don't want to make this
about me because it's not. But people always say that
Ariana Grande is my celebrity doppelganger.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Uh oh, is this a Chelsea from Love is Blind moment?
Right now?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
You tell me, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I don't see it really no, I.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Kind of had you come up to me at the gym.
What it's the ponytail? So Ariana Grande. They released this
really cute Instagram photo where she's holding the plaque and
it's it's sweet, like, it's really exciting to see.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I love hearing stories about folks in their golden years
experiencing success later in life.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
This is so cool.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
I mean, obviously it's facilitated by her super famous, super
hot granddaughter, but.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I love this for Nona.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I love it for Nona, and I love it for
Ariana too, because I think audiences like us are just
craving that personal touch.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I love getting to know people's families.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
When we were at south By Southwest when we kicked
off the show, my grandma was actually at south By two.
She had a movie, like a VR film about her life,
and the producers and I were laughing because I kept
texting her to see her and she could not find time.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
She calls me schnooky.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
She was like, I'd love to see you, Schnuoky, but
I'm very busy.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
That is the cutest nickname ever.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, but Ariana Grande's Nona found some time, So my
Olma better.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Take a page out of her book.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
I love it all right.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Crazy Rich Asians is headed to Broadway. The movie was
a huge smash at the box office. Audiences loved it.
My mom and I have watched this movie a hundred
times together.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I lotch you, Oh yeah, we love like.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Any sort of romance films, and we fight about it
because I'll tell her about how like this part isn't
feminist or female forward, and she was like, Danielle, it's
love get.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Over it is she a bit more traditional in that respect, Yeah,
she is, and she's very romantic, so she loved that film.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
But I'm excited that it's gonna be turned into a
musical because it's gonna be based on the movie, which
was based on a trilogy of books, which I actually
didn't know, and it's gonna have great vision because it's
directed by John m chu who directed the movie, and
he's directed a ton of other musical films Wicked in
the Heights, and this is his Broadway directorial debut.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
This is going to be a walk in the park
for him, though.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I mean, some of those dance scenes and in the
Heights were just so impressive. They were on such a
massive scale. So he's going to nail this.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Okay, we have to talk about likability.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Oh, let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Simona and I.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Both came across this article in Glamour and we could
not stop texting about it. So we have to bring
it to the pod. Anya Meerwitz wrote an article titled
learning to be Unlikable is the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Here's why. That headline, first of all, amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Amazing, and the topic really intrigued both of us. She
talks about her deep seated desire to be likable, and
she gives incredible examples, like at a massage parlor, the
massage isn't going great, but she doesn't want to say anything.
At the hospital when she was giving birth, she really
wanted the staff to like her, so she was scared
to need anything. She goes into rewriting emails to be likable,
(06:02):
even like talking to payroll when they haven't paid her
on time.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
She doesn't want to be unlikable.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
This is such a universal issue that I think so
many women struggle with, myself included. You have to read
this article. Make it a priority to read this article.
It was really profound and it got me thinking about
all the things that I've sacrificed in the name of
being likable, like my happiness, different opportunities. Ultimately, the desire
(06:31):
to be likable has cost me my safety at times
as well.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
And I think when you look.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Across all levels of society you can see examples of this.
There's the issue of likability in politics. Voters elect quote
unlikable male candidates all the time, but then female candidates
have to work twice as hard in order to gain
that elusive likability factor. And that's the thing, like, likability
is this amorphous, abstract term.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
It's so hard to define. What does that even mean?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
That's part of what's today dificult about it.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah, exactly likability in Hollywood, I mean Sophia Coppola said
she lost funding for a project because her characters weren't
likable enough. There's also a likability gap in business. This
article references and experiment from Columbia Business School that studied
the likability gap by doing a side by side comparison
of resumes. So researchers took a female entrepreneur's resume and
(07:22):
they made two identical copies of it. One they attributed
to Heidi Rosen, who was the actual businesswoman behind that resume,
and the other copy they just made up any random
male name. They called him Howard, And then they asked
a group of business school students to compare the resumes,
and the students agreed that both Heidi and Howard were competent,
but they said that Howard was deemed more agreeable in
(07:45):
someone you'd want to work with, while Heidi the exact
same resume, she was deemed to be aggressive, selfish, and
not the ideal colleague.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I think that likability is an impossible bind because you
want to be viewed as a leader or a boss
at work, and ultimately, in many ways, when you are
a woman, you are looked at as bossy. And for me,
I feel like a victim and a volunteer in the
(08:17):
likability trap. I feel like I'm a highly sensitive person
who can feel people deeply, and so if I say
something that you don't like, I can feel it right away.
I see it in your eyes and your body language.
I can just feel it, and I want you to
like me. And on the other hand, I want to
be a competent leader who says what she believes. And
(08:41):
one of the things I've learned at work as I've
had more experience, is that sometimes you are the expert
in the room. And I think as women, we have
the propensity to look at other people as experts and
taking ownership over your own expertise is really big. But
I think likability will cost you jobs. It will cost
(09:03):
you negotiation like salaries. It's very difficult to navigate. The
only thing that has ever helped me with this is
Alicia Menendez's book called The Likability Trap. She's a journalist
at MSNBC and her book honestly changed my life. She's
the one that called it the impossible bind.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Yeah, it's funny that you mentioned that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I have her in my notes too, just to give
her a shout out, because she's done incredible work on
this topic.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
You know, it's funny, Danielle.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
You don't strike me as someone who struggles with likability
or the desire to be liked.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Really no, not from the outside.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
But I think Alicia talks about that as well in
her book, Like you wouldn't assume that this has been
a challenge for her either, but she says that she
struggles with it quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Where do you see it show up in your life
the most?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Well, I think it shows up less and less as
I get older, and less and less as I spend
more time as a mom, because you honestly just run
out of in space to care about what other people
think about you. I don't have as much time. But
something that Alicia brought up as well is that your
relationship with likability is often a reflection of your mother's
(10:12):
relationship with likability, and we learn this desire to be
likable from our moms. My mom sought likability in an
interpersonal context throughout her life, not necessarily in a professional context.
But I definitely saw the ways in which she was
aiming to appease or please people. And I saw that,
(10:35):
and I think I wanted to run in the opposite direction,
and I vacillated back and forth. I think in your twenties,
it's really difficult to combat that desire to be likable.
But now I'm feeling more firmly rooted, more confident, and
I feel like I'm better equipped to combat this desire
to be likable now.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I like hearing that motherhood helped you with that. I
think age has helped me with it. But motherhood is
something I hear a lot from women that I interview.
You just run out of bleeps, exactly.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
But I want us to also talk about solutions, because
one thing I want to be wary of on this
show and just in life, is dwelling on the struggles
of womanhood, because I think that that can disempower us.
To me, the solution here is being brave enough to
be unlikable, because the more that we do that, we
set an example for other women to do the same.
(11:28):
I think it's also being wise enough to know that
unlikable women are actually super relatable. We see that in
films and TV shows all the time. And then, as
Alisha would say, advocating for other women is another way
to squash this likability complex.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
That to me is the most significant one, because it's
really hard, especially at work. There's power in numbers, so
when people support you in something, it's very powerful. I
do think a lot of time we think about solutions
as like incumbent upon us, and it's important to take
responsibility for your actions, and it's important to do everything
(12:10):
you can to be the solution. But I also think
part of the solution is having men recognize this, Like
I want to know how many men read Alicia's book.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I think having a.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Generation of men get more comfortable with women speaking in
a certain tone, or like eliminating that word difficult or unlikable.
We don't call men difficult unlikable, Diva, these are singular
words for women.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I think that will really help too.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
After the break, we'll hear from another proudly unlikable woman,
pop provoking comedian Mary Beth Buron.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
By the way, those are her words, not ours.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
All right, y'all, we're back, featuring one of our favorite
working comedians, the very funny Mary Beth Burn.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Now you may have seen her on The Tonight Show
with Jimmy Fallon, or touring with Chelsea Handler and Jenny Slate,
even podcasting with Benito Skinner, or in her brand new
YouTube comedy special called Thought Provoking. Mary Beth, Welcome to
the bright Side.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
It is so good to be here. You are both
so smiley, and I feel this energy. It's really uncommon,
so it's great to be here.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
We're contractually obligated to smile thirty six times per episode,
so thanks for noticing.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Honestly, not the first time I've been called smiley? Are
you ever called smiley?
Speaker 6 (13:43):
Never? Once? In my whole life?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
What are you called?
Speaker 5 (13:47):
I would say stonefaced, inscrutable, stoic. A lot of those
adjectives are how I'm described dry.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Have you always been that way? Or is this a
persona that you put on when you're on stage?
Speaker 6 (14:00):
I have always been this way.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
I didn't even know I was doing like dry humor
until people told me, and then now I watch I've
seen some home videos of me as a kid. My
dad like digitized all our home videos, and I was
the exact same as a kid, very serious.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Were you always performing in those videos? Did you have
a mic? Were you doing stand up? From an early age?
Speaker 5 (14:24):
We had a lot of like performances in our front hall.
Speaker 6 (14:27):
There's a lot of like dances.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
There's some variety shows, and there is a video of
me and my ex best friend dancing to Stop Right
Now by the Spice Girls that has circulated online. So yeah,
I have a deep history of performance.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
I would say Danielle, she's a theater kid. We have
a live one kid. We got a live one folks.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
But I'm a theater kid who never did theater. Isn't
that cool? I never did a play.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
I don't know why. I just was like, you know what,
I think I'm too big time for it. I'm too
big time for the play.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I feel like it's more of an identity than it
is an action.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yeahs, members of the review board for theater Kids, we
permit you to join the club.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
You absolutely qualify.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Well, you're doing comedy now, that's what everybody knows you for.
You have a comedy special titled thought Provoking, and I
just want everybody to know how many titles you hold.
When it comes to this comedy special. You wrote it,
you directed it, you financed it, and you produced it.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
I did.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Why did you create thought provoking?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I created thought provoking because I had a lot that
I wanted to say, and I wanted to put it
out as a complete work, and I didn't necessarily want
to wait for the taste makers in their glass towers
to give me permission to do that. Just sort of
realizing what the trends are in comedy right now. It
(15:50):
feels like there are a chosen few who are allowed
and given the space to make their own creative decisions
and get these massive deals at streamers, and it just
felt like that probably wasn't going to happen, at least
not in the timeframe that I wanted it to. So
I just decided I wanted to do it my own
way and be the creative force behind it and make
(16:11):
it exactly what I wanted it to be. Which, you know,
the people that give you money often have a lot
of opinions. But I'm lucky enough to have a podcast
that I do that helps me pay the bills, and
I have some money saved where I was able to
finance it, and I am really proud of it. There's
a lot of things that you know I would do differently,
but it was a good exercise, and like, this is
(16:33):
the footage we have, this is what we're able to
do with it, and how do we make that the
best version of the special that we can?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
There's an incredible story behind the title. Thought provoking. It's
kind of a dunk. Actually, can you elaborate please?
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
I was submitting a set for late night TV last
year and I was told by the booker that my
jokes were too trying to make a point, of course,
and he asked if I had any jokes that weren't
as much of that, so just less trying to make
a point. And I just thought, you know what, I
actually don't. I have jokes that make a point, and
(17:10):
I'm comfortable with that. So if that's not the right fit,
it's not the right fit, and that's okay.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Do you think you would ever say something like that
to a male comedian.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
I think male comedians maybe they're just not making a
point and maybe that's something.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
We need to think about and maybe that's the point.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Wait, but you have this joke, speaking of male comedians,
you have this joke where you say men are so
mad at me for speaking What were you talking about?
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Will you share more behind that?
Speaker 5 (17:37):
Yeah, I have started posting clips on social media and
I posted some on YouTube, and the comments I was getting,
I mean, they want me dead, they want women dead,
or in the kitchen. I literally got a comment that
was like, women are good at three things, blowjobs, being
in the kitchen, and I don't even remember the third thing.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
I'm sure it was really profound.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
But there's still a lot of people online who are
comfortable posting and saying things like that. So I knew
this special would piss them off. And that's okay because
I don't make comedy for them.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Who do you make comedy for?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
I make comedy, as I say in the special, for girls,
gay guys, and the straight men who love us. That's
my demo and I'm really comfortable with that.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
In your special, you talk about one of the benefits
being that you get to choose what you wear, and
what female comedians wear has been the subject of much discussion.
So can you talk about that calculus behind your wardrobe
when you go on stage? How do you make that decision?
Speaker 5 (18:36):
There's a lot of thought that goes into what I
wear on stage? Because you want to wear something that
you don't have to adjust a lot because that can
be distracting. So for this special, I really wanted it
to be super intentional. And there are a lot of
sort of unwritten rules about what people should and shouldn't
wear on stage, and I think what's so fun about
having more women and queer people in comedy is that
(18:59):
we're really re writing rules and making it whatever we
want it to be. And one thing I love about
my audience is that they're excited to see what I'm wearing,
and I've established that I'm going to turn a look
when it's like my show. So I love that they
support me in making comedy fashionable because we have a
lot of work to do and it starts with us.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Women don't always have to wear flannel shirts and jeans
on stage. If you want to, that's fine, that's your
prerogative totally.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
But if you want to wear a gown that is
Kate Moss's from the nineties, you should also do that.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yeah, I think it's important to share a little backstory there.
It's sort of a thing that women have to quote
ugly up on stage in comedy, and so I think
there's been a few female comedians that have tried to
push the envelope there, you being one of them.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
I think it's because we were trying to fit into
male spaces, and we were trying to do shows and
be on lineups with people that were attracting a certain
audience who don't align necessarily with what we're saying. Being
a a female comedian is sort of political in and
of itself, So for me it's yeah, if I have
definitely had feedback when I'm performing at clubs or more
(20:09):
traditional stand up venues, like, well, your clothes are distracting,
and I think if you can't watch my stand up
without being distracted unless you're totally blinded by how beautiful
the outfit is, then I don't know if I'll ever
get you on side, So best to just part ways amicably.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Mary Beth, I hate to do this. I really don't
want to have to call out your mom, but I'm
gonna have to.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Do it.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Because when you were growing up, she told you that
female comedians just aren't funny. All they do is talk
about their periods. So is your whole career one big
I told you so to your mom.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
You know, it's so funny because I remember it so
vividly as a kid hearing that, and I was like,
I guess that kind of makes sense. But I didn't
think about it again for many, many years, and then
I was like, oh my god, I can't believe that's
like what I had been internalizing.
Speaker 6 (20:57):
And she definitely has.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Like I say, she's apologized, but I think a lot
of the comedy that was making it into people's homes
back in the nineties from women specifically, it felt like
they had to lean so hard into being a woman
and that could be their only identifier and they can't
really speak much outside of like being crass, which I
am also crass, But it was probably hard to stick
(21:20):
out in such a male dominated industry back then and
feel really singular.
Speaker 6 (21:25):
So while I don't agree.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
And I know there were a lot of women even
in the nineties totally breaking the mold, I understand that
a lot of what she was probably seeing might have
been tapping into that. But needless to say, I do
have some jokes about my period in vagina, and she's
totally okay with that as long as it's part of
a larger body of work.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
A qword body.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah, Yeah, I want to go back to something that
you said about how people view comedians almost monolithically. I
feel like that's especially true for female comedians. You, being
a female comedian, I'm sure you sometimes feel like you're
expected to carry the entire legacy of female comedians on
your back.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
Yeah, it is this pressure of like, because you're a comedian,
you sort of have to speak out on every issue.
And I'm trying to be really thoughtful about speaking on
things that I am educated on and things that I
feel really passionate about. So sometimes you want to be
like amplifying like every single issue. I really respect the
people that have come before me because there were even
(22:25):
fewer people in their corner who were helping uplift them.
It was sort of like you either fit in with
the guys or you don't survive. Whereas now, I think
comedy is a lot more democratic, and we can produce
independent shows, and we can put stuff out online and
our audiences can find us, and I'm just really grateful
that those people were there to pave the way. But
(22:47):
for me right now, my approach is just like pick
a few things that I'm passionate about, and you kind
of like bread crumb it in with the funny stuff
so that people are getting the information, but they it's
like putting like sugar and medicine together.
Speaker 6 (23:00):
That's what I try to do.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Even in the special, you know, I talk about a
lot of different topics, but I try to make sure
that there's enough dumb jokes in there, but that everything
is of course trying to make a point.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Don't want to be too thought provoking.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
God, for it can be tough. It can be tough.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Maybe, but from the outside looking in, it seems like
you've experienced a lot of success in such a short
amount of time. I mean, you left Boston College, moved
to New York City, quit your startup job to pursue
comedy full time, and now you're crushing it.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
How does it feel to be that girl in comedy?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
That's very nice of you to say, I have chills.
I think this industry is incredibly taxing, and there is
a lot of rejection, and there's a lot of moments where,
especially if you look at people around you, you can
feel like you're not accomplishing enough, or you're not getting enough,
or you're not doing enough. So I'm working on moments
of gratitude and feeling accomplished because I actually moved to
(23:56):
New York and I had no idea what I wanted
to do, and I had a job for years, and
then I decided to be a comedian, which is like
so random and insane, and I every step of the way,
my friends and family have been there for me one
hundred and ten percent. Having that support system is so invaluable.
And just like female friendship in general is such a
beautiful thing that I think gets portrayed as like, you know,
(24:19):
pinning women against each other and not being supportive.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
We're talking about each other, but that's not my experience.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
You have to be a little Delulu to have a lot,
a lot Delulu. Yes, you come from a big family.
Are you the most Delulu sibling in the bunch?
Speaker 6 (24:34):
One hundred percent?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, what's a big fam happen?
Speaker 5 (24:38):
I'm one of six, I'm the youngest of six, so
three girls, three boys, and I'm just like, I'm very
different from my siblings. I care about fashion, I like
love brands. I'm like a capitalist pig but also a
socialist and I love attention. That's that's my love language.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
It's so gen z to be capitalist and socialist all
at the same time, you're very on trend.
Speaker 6 (25:00):
Well, I'm a Gemini, so I can be both, which
is cool.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So I'm a big fan of Ride, which is your podcast,
Thank you, and you do it with your co host
who's also a comedian, Benito Skinner aka Benny Drama and
you guys are so funny.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
How did this come together?
Speaker 5 (25:18):
So this was during the pandemic Benito and I, Well,
he was approached and he was asked if you wanted
to do a podcast, and he was like, I will
do a podcast, but only if I can do it
with Mary Beth. And then we were thinking about what
we wanted the podcast to be, and we wanted it
to be really positive. We wanted it to be a
space where we could come and talk about things that
we really enjoy and just be earnest and genuine and
(25:40):
we each bring one thing per week that we ride
for and we really feel the love for this podcast,
and I think having a platform where we just talk
about things that we love, like our audiences when we
perform live, we can feel that they're coming from a
place of positivity and they're not sitting there with their
arms crossed like ready to be cultural commentators. They're just like,
(26:01):
let's have fun, let's be silly and crazy and tap
into those goofy selves that I think women are sort
of told to like suppress when we're teenagers. But this
podcast is not about that. The podcast is about just
like love and joy. And we do smile.
Speaker 6 (26:19):
Sometimes on the podcast, so there's some synergy there.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
You may all of us smile.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
I feel a major crossover event happening. I don't know
between like The bright Side and Ride, because.
Speaker 6 (26:30):
I could see a collab. I totally see.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
It's just like you know, somepottico.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
A lot of comedians I know make comedy rounds in
terms of stand up.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Their mainstays at the laugh Factory or the comedy store
or the improv and they and that's like their home.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
And you've really.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Done it a different way. What is your advice in
terms of doing it your own way?
Speaker 5 (26:50):
I would say the most important thing for me has
been and this applies to comedy, but I think it
could be applicable to other verticals as well. I am
my own favorite comedian. And you should do the thing
if you believe that, you are going to love your
work the most, because if you don't believe in the work.
It's actually impossible to convince other people to like sign
(27:11):
on for it. So I just think that is so important.
And if you have a burning desire, like let it
simmer for a bit and see.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
If it keeps nagging at you.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
Yeah, I've blown up my entire life multiple times and
take risks. The fear of it going wrong is worse
than the reality.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I think, blow it up. Blow it up.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
Unless you're joining the armed forces, that is like totally different.
I can't speak to that. They might not work out.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I love that you said blowing that you've blown your
life up multiple times, like I have to, Yes, you
got to blow your life up.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
If you're not blowing your life up, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (27:51):
You're not living. That's what life's about. It's just like
I really stand by that. Again, I'm in a position
of privilege because I have a support system.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
But I thought you were gonna say you were in
a position of privilege because you have a British boyfriend.
Speaker 6 (28:04):
Because I have a British boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
That yeah, also true, doesn't really stuff just doesn't really
affect me the same way.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Do you ever make him like like reenact certain like
scenes from period films, because that's what I would do
if I had a British boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
I would if he wasn't constantly getting cast in period
films and TV shows.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
So I feel like I get to see it. Yeah,
he's an actor.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
He always gets cast as characters who wear blouses, you
know what I mean, Like, he's always in a blouse.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
We love a blouse king.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
I'm in a blouse right now, and you know what,
it looks good.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
I honestly think the world would benefit from more blouse
kings in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Is Lenny Kravitz a blouse king?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
He's a Did you see him wearing leather pants in
the gym? Did you see that clip of him?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (28:45):
You know what I did?
Speaker 5 (28:46):
And that's actually crazy behavior from someone who wore leather
pants on stage one time and they split up the front.
So let's just say I would not be running to
wear leather at the gym for him.
Speaker 6 (28:57):
But I think it's great.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Mary Beth, we have to take a quick break, but
when we come back, we are going to be brave
like you told us to, diving into some of your
provoking thoughts.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Okay, we are back with Mary Beth buron and we're
gonna flip the script a little right now, and you're
actually going to be in the host chair.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
MB.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
You have some thought provoking questions for us based on
some of our bright Side themes like friendship, dating, aging, optimism,
et cetera. So the floor is yours, Marybeth, please host
our show.
Speaker 6 (29:32):
Okay, So, welcome to the bright Side. I'm Mary. That's brown.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
It's so great to be here with such a steam guests,
and I think we should just dive right in.
Speaker 6 (29:41):
What are you saying? Do it?
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Let's go.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
Okay, So I've prepared some questions to provoke thots and
everyone listening. You can also bring these to the group chat,
bring these to the next Hinge date or whatever app
you use, and see what people say, see if you're
in alignment. So the first question has to do with dating.
So my the question to you is would you turn
into an ogre permanently if it meant that you got
(30:05):
to be with the love of your life?
Speaker 4 (30:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (30:08):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Yeah, Okay, I love Winds. I am such a sucker
for big love. I'm holding out for it.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah, I'm all about goblin mode already. Okay, that's like
not a stretch.
Speaker 6 (30:22):
This is This isn't even a departure.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
No Ogre mode is the next level up from goblin mode.
So that's how you'll evolve. Yeah, I'm here for it.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
I will say waiting for big love is totally worth it.
Thank you for that, even if you have to turn
into an ogre.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
When I hear other people who find it tell me that,
it makes me be okay holding out, So thank you.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
You got to be patient.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
But it's what we're on earth to do, is to
like find our big love. So okay, great, you're both
on the right side of history and pro ogre. Next question,
if you did twenty three and meters and found out
that you had a secret relative, who would be your
first call?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I did this, although I think I did ancestry dot Com,
which is like maybe my biggest regret because now, like
the government has my DNA.
Speaker 6 (31:09):
It's not it. They've probably had it before I have it.
Speaker 5 (31:12):
All.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah, I guess that's true. I'm like highly findable.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Now.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
There's like so many people on ancestry dot Com that
they say I'm related to. It's like my fifth cousin.
There's a million of them all over the world. I
called my grandmother because she's the keeper of our family
tree to see if any of this was legit.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
She was uninterested. She said she has her own ancestry
dot com account and that I need to focus on
my job.
Speaker 6 (31:38):
Well, she was like, this is old news.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Don't leave me with this crap exactly.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
I actually did find out that I have a bonus brother,
but it wasn't through ancestry. I haven't told you this story,
so I guess i'll tell you.
Speaker 6 (31:50):
I'm seeded right now. This is huge.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
It was huge.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Okay, So I've been an only child my whole life.
Right I was twenty one, I was in college. I'm
home for Thanksgiving. Break says to me, Simone, I need
you to come sit down. We have some big news
to share with you. My heart is pounding outside of
my chest right now. This I'm like reliving that moment
I thought somebody had cancer. I thought somebody was dying.
He tells me, I had a son in college that
(32:15):
I didn't know about, and you have a half brother,
and I in that moment, like it just talk about
blowing up your life, like it blew up my whole life.
So eventually we got to meet and we connected and yeah,
now I have a half brother that I only met
(32:37):
when I was an adult.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
It's crazy.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
Wow, that's a I mean, that's huge for your whole family.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
It is pretty cool too that your dad sat you
down and just told you, Yeah, it's not easy to
share news like that.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
That must have been hard for him.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Yeah, there's like, there's there's some beautiful parts that come
with it. There's obviously a lot of baggage, a lot
of like where you know, just the mes seness of
humanity comes in. But my dad and my brother I
have a really good relationship now I think is as
best as you could hope for. So yeah, it is possible.
You never know, you could have a bonus relative out
there somewhere.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Folks.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Thanks for sharing with us.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
Yeah, that's beautiful. And who is your first call? I
have to know, Oh my first call?
Speaker 3 (33:19):
It was probably whoever was in my top eight at
the time on my space. Yeah, one of my one
of my best friends from college. I honestly can't remember it,
but yeah, topic.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
Top eight was huge. I mean, talk about divisive.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
That was polarization, that was weaponizing social media. Last question,
what's been the most surprising benefit of getting older?
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Oh, very bad, hard hitting questions. These are so bright side.
Speaker 6 (33:48):
I have to provoke the thoughts.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I think. For me, it's been surrendering.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
I used to feel like I could control everything and
that if I didn't do EXWY and Z, I wouldn't
get a certain outcome.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
And I'm sort of free of that now.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
And it's that is freeing, like to know that only
a certain amount is in your control and not act
out of these deep emotions that you don't understand where.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
They're coming from. Yeah, Like when you're in.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
College, if there's like a guy that rejects you, you
just go and you like text another guy. And that
is such a like metaphor of like what not to
do in life, you know, And so that reaction I
don't have anymore. Like if I get rejected by a
man or a job or anything, I don't go put
(34:39):
my mess of emotions on anybody else.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I can self regulate.
Speaker 6 (34:42):
Now that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
I love that. I think the most surprising benefit of
getting older, I'm torn it's either day drinking or JOEMO,
because day drinking is just fantastic. It's a revelation.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
You go your whole adolescent life thinking that you can
only drink between the hours of nine pm to two am.
But then when you hit a certain age, your world
just opens up and you could have an aperall Sprits
at eleven am or you know, and then keep drinking
Mimosa's at.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
A bottomless brunch. Damn.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I mean, all the timeline shift a bit, you know,
we go to bed a lot earlier, and then Jomo too.
I mean, Jomo is a huge benefit, the joy of
missing out. I don't I don't feel the fear anymore.
Speaker 6 (35:30):
I'm so with you. I feel like Jomo is fab
Mary Beth, what's yours?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Well?
Speaker 5 (35:36):
Besides being able to like go out to dinner whenever
I want and not be stressed about my bank account,
I think for me, it's just being more honest. Like
I don't really care as much how things are perceived
by others, and I feel like being honest. And I
read about this in the Bell Hooks book All about Love,
which like really reinforced my approach, which is just like
(35:58):
I'm way more honest with people, and if if you
want my opinion, I'm going to give you exactly how
I feel. And if you don't like that, then it's
not like I'm like out being a bitch to everyone.
It's just like, I will give you my honest response,
and that is something I wasn't always able to do,
and I think that's been really fun to explore, just
being upfront with people.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
This actually reminds me of something that we were just
talking about earlier today, So it's this idea of the
power of being unlikable. There is this Glamour article that
got us thinking about this, and the headline is learning
to be unlikable is the best thing I've ever done.
Does that idea resonate with you?
Speaker 6 (36:38):
Yeah, because I'm not for everyone.
Speaker 5 (36:40):
And if I wanted a career where I was palatable
and broad, which is fine and so respectable, I would
have gone about things completely differently. But I just think
that my comedy and my point of view can be
really polarizing. And I know there's people that think I'm
just like a mouthy bitch and that's your honest reaction
(37:00):
to me, and that's fine. But I again like I'm
repelling the right people because I don't care if they
don't like me. But I think that that's something that
does come with age, and I do credit a lot
of unlikable female characters that have come onto our TV
screens in the last decade.
Speaker 6 (37:16):
Because that's like, that was formative.
Speaker 4 (37:18):
Who are some of those unlikable female characters you're thinking of?
Speaker 6 (37:22):
The entire cast of girls comes to mind. Yes, Sex
and the City.
Speaker 5 (37:28):
I saw this article recently about gen Z watching Sex
in the City and how the views in it are
outdated and the characters aren't likable. But I'm like, they're complex.
They make choices that you feel are wrong. That's how
everyone leads their lives. They're acting selfishly and they make mistakes,
and I think that seeing that on TV is like
an important part of accepting ourselves for who we are.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
What's your next blow up? Are you gonna? Are you
planning to blow up your life?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Maybe this is a new thing. Instead of blow up,
it's blow up.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Oh I love that it's your blow up.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
I will tell you, but you have to bleep in.
I don't want you to cut it, but I want
to spark intrigue. Okay, okay, keep the mystery, keep the mystery.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
I might.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
Stop, really I might. I'm not sure yet. I'm figuring
it out. I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 4 (38:12):
That I did not see that coming.
Speaker 6 (38:14):
I was thinking, Wow, I have some stuff to figure
out before.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
Yeah, yeah, we can make some calls too for you,
like we know something.
Speaker 6 (38:23):
I will need it.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Thanks for sharing your next blow up with us, the
next blow up, Mary Beth. I love what you're bringing
to comedy. Thanks so much for bringing it to the
bright side too.
Speaker 5 (38:32):
Thank you so much for having me. Thanks for watching
the special. I feel like that makes me feel really good.
I'm going to ride that wave for the five minutes
after we hang up. I'm going to celebrate that, and
then I'll be back to my toxic thoughts. But this
was so lovely, and thank you for creating a space
where people can be smiley and talk about funny things
(38:52):
and not funny things.
Speaker 6 (38:53):
And I love it. More women with podcasts, please you guys,
seriously please, it's.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
A boys club out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yeah, it's enough, especially in the top ten. One of
my favorite quotes is if you can make them laugh,
you can make them listen. And that's really what I
think you're doing, so thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Mary Beth Barone is a comedian, writer, and actor. You
can watch her latest special, Thought Provoking Now on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
I love her dry sense of humor. She really tickles
my funny bone.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
I know, she cracks me up, you know.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I love how she created her own content and put
herself on stage and wrote and produced and directed and
financed it.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
It's really freaking hard to do that, and she didn't
wait for permission. I feel like.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
In life, at any stage, there's all of these like
false guardrails that are set up, like you have to
do a certain thing to get into college, or do
a certain you have to have a job as an
assistant before you become a manager. And she just said,
I'm not gonna wait to do it the way everybody
else has. I'm gonna do it myself. And she gave
her self permission. And I really respect that.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
You can see how she did that at several different
turning points in her life. Every step of the way,
she's giving herself permission, and she's not afraid to blow
up her life. I'm still thinking about that phrase, blow
ups over glow ups.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
You like that one? I love it.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
She's the queen of blow ups. I can't wait to
see what she does next. I think if we watch her,
we'll be amazed to see where she goes in Like
the next ten years.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah, and I think it could take some twists and turns.
She's highly intelligent, just like most funny people are.
Speaker 4 (40:38):
Mm hmm, very true.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
All right, bright Side besties, we are featuring our April
Reese's book Club pick on the show very soon. The
author is Clara Lombardo and the book is the most
fun we ever had. So send in your questions for
Claire to Hello at the bright Side podcast dot com, and.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You don't want to miss Tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
We're talking about out what so many women on the
internet are talking about birth control. Fortunately, we have an
expert here obg y N and CEO of sanctum Med Wellness,
doctor Jessica Shepherd is answering all of our questions about
side effects, pain and how to feel confident in choosing
a birth control method that's right for you.
Speaker 6 (41:20):
Oof.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Such an important topic. All right, that's it for today's show.
Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
I'm Simone Voice.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
You can find me at simone Voice on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
That's ro Ba y see you tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Folks, keep looking on the bright side.
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