Second Cup: How to stop being late

Quit rushing and feel more calm with one incredibly simple strategy for being on time.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about how to stop being late. Let
me start by saying that I find punctuality to be
a fascinating concept. It's more about expectations than about time itself.
There are definitely cultural elements to it. If you're lucky

(00:23):
enough to be invited to a party in Brazil, for instance,
showing up at the stated time is actually rude to
your hosts. They won't be expecting anyone until about sixty
minutes after the start. When I was visiting Japan, on
the other hand, my tour bus actually left someone who
wasn't on the bus at the time our guide said
we were going to leave. Punctuality is incredibly important there,

(00:43):
which is why the trains always run on time. Different
offices have different attitudes toward punctuality. It's one of the
first things people learn when starting a new job. In
some places, all meetings start ten minutes late, because it's
understood that you're coming from other meetings. In other places,
meetings in ten minutes early, so the next meetings can
start on time. Either system can work, at least until

(01:06):
these two places try to do business with each other.
In any case, while being late is about expectations, not time,
I know it's a common source of unhappiness. Indeed, when
people tell me that they have trouble with time management,
they often mean that they're always late. Defined here is
not meeting someone else's time expectations. Very few people enjoy

(01:28):
being late by this definition. Sure, there are probably some
people who view it as a power play. Look at me,
I can make other people wait because I am so important.
But I think that most normal, non psychopathic late people
really hate the idea that they are causing annoyance and inconvenience.
That sense of unease causes people to make terrible decisions.

(01:49):
They run red lights and speed through residential neighborhoods. One
well known study found that seminary students ask to prepare
a sermon on the good Samaritan who's in the Bible
because he stopped to help somebody. We're highly likely to
walk right past someone in need of medical assistance when
they were told that they were late to deliver their talks.
I appreciate the researcher's sense of humor, but this does

(02:12):
not speak well for human nature. Fortunately, there's a simple
way to avoid being late. The key is realizing that
most things that make us late are predictable. They fall
into that category that Donald Rumsfeld once called known unknowns.
You don't know how much traffic there will be on
Friday afternoon at five pm, but it probably won't be none.

(02:36):
You don't know which family member will forget something on
the way out the door, but the odds are good
that somebody will need to go back for something. You
don't know which of your direct reports will stop you
as you're leaving to catch your train, but no doubt
someone will need to talk with you. In each of
these cases, you don't know exactly what will fill your time,
but you can be pretty sure something will fill your time,

(02:57):
and if you don't plan for that, you'll be late.
The best way to plan for it is simply to
build in extra time. This seems obvious, but it's actually
life changing. When I talk to people who are always
on time, they almost universally leave ten to fifteen minutes
before they absolutely have to. They may not even recognize

(03:17):
that this is what they're doing, but when you talk
to them, they say things like, well, church is ten
minutes away, so we leave at nine forty for the
ten o'clock service. You can do the math and see
that this is twenty minutes, not ten. But the person
has built in time for someone to decide it's cold
and she needs a coat, and to find parking, and
to let a child decide that she wants to go
to Sunday school instead of going to the service, and

(03:39):
so they're in the pews when the minister stands up.
Whereas someone else might see that church is ten minutes
away and plan to get in the car at nine
to fifty, then they always show up in the middle
of that first hymn wondering what happened. Likewise, someone who
wants to catch the five thirty five pm train from
a station that's a fifteen minute walk from the office could,
in theory leave at five to eighteen pm, but it

(04:02):
might be better to start walking out at five oh five.
When your colleague stops you to announce that her team
actually isn't going to make that deadline on Friday. You
can deal with this without also having the hard choice
then of missing your train. Of course, this is easier
said than done. It's hard to stop doing what we're doing.
I think that what also happens is people worry they'll

(04:24):
be too early, and then they'll just be sitting there
wasting time. I have two responses to that. One is
that if you are early, just open up an ebook
on your phone and treat this as found me time.
But I've also noticed that people who are chronically late
tend to be so far off in their estimation skills
that what they think will make them early in fact

(04:46):
makes them on time. So think through your upcoming day.
Are you always late for something? Why? What would happen
if you set your departure time ten minutes earlier? It
can't happen. Maybe it can't happen for a good reason.
Maybe it's not a priority to you be on time.
But if it couldn't happen, well, I promise life feels

(05:09):
so much more relaxing. Well, you're not trying to cram
in one more thing in the meantime. This is Laura.
Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

(05:31):
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at
Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the number four. Then
Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an email at
Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much.
Should I look forward to staying in touch