May 8, 2024 • 28 mins
After Jennie's painful and public divorce, she took a beat before looking for love again. But one fateful meet cute turned her trajectory upside down in the best way ever.
In this episode, Jennie is joined by her hubs Dave for a revealing first date rewind.
Find out the bold move she made when she met him, how he went from bachelor to father of three, who objected to their sudden romance, and why Jennie is Sorry NOT Sorry for taking a leap of faith!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Welcome,
my friend. I'm so happy you decided to hang out
with me today. I cannot wait to start talking about
choices with you and how our choices determine our paths
(00:22):
moving forward in life. I have so much in store
for you. I promised you that I would share some
stories from my life, and that is what I'm going
to do today. I want to tell you about the
time I decided to let love in again. But hold on,
let's do that thing. Let's go back in order to
(00:42):
go forward.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
In twenty twelve, I went through a very public and
painful divorce. I spent the next couple of years grieving
and ventually healing. When I find resurfaced into the world,
back into society, people started encouraging me to get back
(01:08):
out there start dating again. That thought honestly made me
feel sick. But when the time felt right, I started
dipping my toe into that pool. And let me tell you,
my dating pool was pretty shallow. It was basically set ups,
friends of friends kind of thing. I had no idea
(01:31):
what I was doing, what I was hoping to find,
who I would find. It was pretty brutal. I was
awkward and needy, not a very attractive combo. When I
look back now, I see a very lost lady just
(01:53):
trying to feel loved again. I was putting way too
much importance and focus on getting a man to love
me again. It was like I was throwing spaghetti against
the wall, just trying to figure out what would stick.
Some of my choices were odd to others, odd to
even me, and in my confused and sort of weakened
(02:17):
state of self understanding, I saw myself attaching my worth
to these guys who had no idea who I really
was and who were just not right. Yet I tried
so hard to make each one of them love me.
I so wanted to succeed in a relationship, and who knows,
(02:41):
maybe maybe I was trying so hard because I wanted
to show my ex what he had lost, what a
mistake he had made. Whatever it was, it wasn't working.
I decided to take a break from searching for that
kind of love altogether and just focus on my girls
and my job. I was doing a sitcom at the
(03:03):
time called Mystery Girls. I was also building a house,
a home for my new family, which was just me
and the girls and our dogs, and I gotta be honest.
I like that vibe a lot more than dating. It
was really turning into a good time in my life.
(03:24):
I was finding my self worth again, and I was
feeling confident and capable of being out there on my own.
I was reinventing my life. I was doing a lot
of work on myself, and I started to think ahead.
My therapist, Wade High. Wade encouraged me to make a
(03:47):
list of my non negotiables. The things that I had
learned were top priorities in my next relationship, and here
are a few of them. Number one a family man,
a man who puts family form first top of the list.
Number two a man who keeps his word honesty very
(04:08):
important to me. Number three someone who could make me laugh.
I really needed some laughter in my life. Number four,
someone who was confident enough in who they were to
let me shine. Also a man who never complained about
how much luggage I packed for a trip. And there
were others, but I don't remember what they are right now.
(04:31):
So that was my list, my list of non negotiables.
That's what I did so I would know when someone
came along and checked the boxes. But all the while
I was asking myself, do I even really ever want
a man in my life again? Which, as you know,
as a middle aged woman who's gone through a divorce,
(04:52):
that's a valid question to ask yourself. So now it
was the end of twenty fourteen, and what they say
is true. It happens when you least expect it, and
it helped me tell the story. I want to introduce
you to the man who loves to let me shine.
I want you all to meet my hubs, Dave Abrams, Hi, babe.
(05:16):
I was thinking we could talk about how we met.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh yeah, I like that story.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I mean, you know, people like to know these stories.
Everybody loves a what's it called a cute meat meet.
I don't like cute me because you know ours of
ours was a blind meet.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Cute. Do you remember the story? Because I remember you
get a lot of You get a lot of flak
for your memory.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I do, but I remember the story.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Do you want to tell it? Yeah? How about you? Sorry,
we'll go with that, okay. So what was what was
your perspective on a blind date?
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I thought I was going to talk Oh my god, okay,
my friend who was uh seeing a guy who was
younger than her. She had just been divorced not that
long ago, and now she was seeing a younger man.
I was like, oh, that's so cool. When we started
we chatted. She was a school friend, yeah, school friend,
a mommy friend of mine at school, and I remember
we were on our yearly camp out at El Capitan,
(06:17):
uh huh, and she said to me, would you be
open to meeting my boyfriends, one of his best friends.
And I was like, I wasn't really even like at
the place of wanting to meet anybody, but I was
at the place in my life after the divorce where
I had done a ton of work and I was
(06:37):
finally happy on my own. I felt really strong, really confident.
And then she said that to me, and I was like, okay,
I'll practice. Let me practice. I need to practice dating.
So I went what they set up a blind date
basically with us, and it was like a double date.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Do you remember when you googled me?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Oh that was yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
People do that. Yeah, everybody.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're gonna go out with somebody and it's you know,
a blond day you google them.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, but you know there was at the time. I
don't know if I don't know, if Dave Abrams the
Chippendale dancer, if you're out there, Dave, he's out there.
You got a nice physique.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, because when you google Dave vid or Dave Abrams, Yeah,
he was coming up a Chipendale dancer.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Google's all it's all something else, it's all Jenny and Dave.
It's just Jenny and David.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Anyways. But I thought I was going on a double
date with a Chippendale dancer.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, little did you know?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
No, I knew by the time I got to the restaurant,
I knew you were a Chipendale's dancer. But I did
walk in. I did walk in, and immediately what.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
The bar was a crowded by the way, you were
late whatever. Do you know how many minutes late? You
were like, oh my god, you do yeah, fifteen minutes late.
We had to wait.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Are you sure it wasn't sixteen minutes, No, fifteen okay.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
For sure. And you were wearing all black and you
out of your hair was cut at a bob and
a bob. That's cute. Looking back, you ordered like.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Wait, I was talking, this is what happened. I was saying.
When I walked into the thing, into the bar. It
was crowded, and immediately my eyes went to a tall
man standing at the bar, like your typical actor, like
LA guy that really handsome.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I'd tee offense to that.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
And immediately I said, oh m hmm. And then they
introduced me to you, and you were that guy.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Well, we sat down us four, and we ordered some drinks.
You said nothing, and then they proceeded to talk. I
kind of didn't say anything.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I didn't really feel social. I wasn't in a social
mood to begin with for some reason. Yeah, and then
it just it felt awkward. I felt like I was
being interviewed almost, and.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
They were talking about nine oh two and oh, and
I was like, I, all, I don't I don't know
the show.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
You never watched it.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
No, I didn't know. I mean my sister did. But
I mean I knew. I mean obviously I knew of you.
I googled you. You Google. The first thing out of
my mouth when I was approached to go in the
state was oh, she's three kids. All right, Well whatever,
I'll go. Ah and yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Wait, you probably should have really thought that through a
little bit more.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I mean, yeah, yeah, that's probably a thing I don't
really think. So I went in there and yeah, you
didn't say a word and you ordered pasta and salt.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
It was a very foodie restaurant, and you know I
don't like food.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Looking back, yeah, I was like, oh, do you want
to try this? This this place is really good fish pasta. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
No, I'm.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Like anyways, looking back, it makes complete a get it.
And then we left the restaurant. They were leaving and
you're we were going to valet. You gave the ticket.
Your car got pulled up right in front of mine.
I was saying, I walked over to you and I
was like, after what did we say? Like three sentences
(10:25):
of each other. I was like, well, it was really
nice meeting you. Can I call you sometime. It's kind
of like a like you were going to be like, no,
see you and you're like no, but you can follow me,
And I was like, I first thought was oh on Instagram. No.
She was like, no, dummy, follow me in your car.
(10:46):
So we were on the yeah, and then you like
like a like a bat out of hell.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I wanted to get out of there.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And I don't drive fast, and I like, I've been
accused of driving like an old man, I do the
speed limit. My motto is I don't. I ain't got
nowhere to be. That's gonna kill me. Okay, and you
flew and we were in silver Lake.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I needed to I did that intentionally. I drove like
that intentionally, and I spoke to you like that intentionally
because I needed to know if you were on the
same level as me, like, hmmm, a little crazy, spontaneous,
a little a little wild.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Okay, well, yeah, I guess I was. You were. I'm
not like that though I probably would have went over
and went to bed, but I followed you. We went
to this little place called Cafe.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Stella, had a little drink at the bar.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
We got to know each other, and you.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Started to make me laugh. Yeah, almost instantly, and I
was like, hey, he's not just a pretty face. He's
actually funny and fun to hang out with. I like
this guy, and you were hot, which started just like
change my mind.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Well thank you for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I
thought you were like fun and beautiful and refreshing and
to the point, not a lot of bullshit. When we
left Cafe Cella, I walked you out to the valet.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And was that our first kid?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I don't remember it. How was it?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It was good? I got tingles, yeah, and then we
said goodbye. I lived kind of closed. You lived in
Studio City, so you lived a little bit further away.
I got home right but right when I pulled into
my driveway, I remember getting a text and you said,
you want one more drink.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was like, okay, what time is it now?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Oh god? That was well. That place was closing, Cafe's eleven.
It was like a Tuesday night.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
We are wild.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Tuesday night, eleven o'clock. You text you want one more
drink a baye bar, and you sent me this address.
And I was like, I lived in Studio City. I
don't know the bay bar. What bar is this?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I can't believe you're telling this story.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, And so I drove over there and I was like,
I don't know this bar. I'm going up a hill.
It's all residential, residential canyon. And I get to a
gate and I text you I'm here, and the gate
just opens. I pull in. There's no no, the lights
are kind of off, there's no one. I don't know
(13:34):
if you're in there. And I walked to the front door.
It's it's a beautiful, beautiful house. But I'm thinking to myself,
what the absolute hell am I doing? What what am
I doing? And then we had a we had a
nice evening.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
We chatted, you came to the bay bar, came to
the bar at a bar then, Yeah, and we named
it the Babe bar because it was all girls at
my house at the time and there's.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
The big bar. When we sat and we chatted and yeah,
that was that was it. Came to see the next
day at work, it was mosy on up at the bar.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I mean instantly it was we were on that was.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It over done?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Didn't look back, Nope, didn't listen to anybody.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
No, m did we have anybody? There was anybody like
objecting on your side when we were first together.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Well, what if I tell you that now? Are you
going to be mad at them?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
No? Not at all? No, Wait, who I remember? I
remember Luca, But Luca was also seventeen, about to be eighteen.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I mean that's a pretty significant opposer. Yeah, our oldest daughter.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, I mean senior in high school. There's a lot
going on. And then we kind of threw that on her. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Oh, by the way, we're getting married after being together
for three months.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, after your graduation in July. Wait you graduate June.
Oh yeah, then we're gonna have a wedding. Wait who who? Who?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I'm trying to think. I don't think that mister Showbiz objected,
or at least if he did, or if there was
any conversation about it, he never told me. I would
love to ask him now, like, was there something you
wanted to tell me but you never did?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh, I'm for sure it was in the back of
his head.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
What about you did your my mom never said because
she really liked you and she loved what you brought
to our family.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
M hmm. Kind of the same background, you know, kind
of were raised in the same like old fashion. Your
mom's very old fashioned Midwest. Uh, and so was your dad.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Okay, so mister Shobbs didn't object. My mom didn't object. No,
Adele didn't object. She met you, she vetted you.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, well I met Adele, like what was it this
second or second week we were together?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, and she loved you. I met your friends mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, and I when my the friend who introduced us
already knew you, sort of like acquaintances, and then all
my other friends were yeah. On board. I mean, they
all thought I was nuts.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Looking back, do you think you were nuts for making
that decision? Mmm?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I mean, looking back, yeah, I feel like it was
a nutty decision. But I wouldn't have done anything different.
I don't really. I think I don't really have a plan.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I mean we joked sometimes and say, probably should have
thought that through a little better.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, even if we had thought it through, even if
you had more time to think it through, you were
You're saying you would still make the same Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I would have made the same decision absolutely, What about you?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
I would have made the same decision too, only because
I am crazy and I love adventure and I'm you
know what I mean, Like this just seemed.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Well in the beginning, it's always you know, fun stuff.
And then you had jobs, and we went on some trips,
like we went to Arizona and then we went to
Cabo and then we went all over the place. So
yeah that eventually the trips fizzle out and.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Life gets real.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I remember thinking, like, once the glitter wears off of
this new relationship and the excitement of it all, what's
going to happen? Yeah, And we were faced with that
reality very early, like literally like a month after we
got married.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, that was that was crazy. Thrust here you go
into the real world.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I mean, because your life it's not I mean, our
lives both changed. I would say your life changed drastically. Drastically.
You went from a single.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Guy living in a one bedroom apartment to moving into
a little bit of a nicer house in Studio City.
Three four dogs again at the time, three step children,
and then all of a sudden, I'm taking you know,
the girls to school and walking them into class because
(18:28):
this was you know, they were still in the lower school,
was the lower in upper school, and everybody would take
the kids in in the morning and you'd have stuff
to do, and we were like delegating between like Peter
had them one week and then we had them the
other week.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And you were so great though, you just really jumped
into everything with both feet, like you dove in.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, I mean it. And also it was crazy and
like being in that situation all of a sudden, I'm
at this like prominent Los Angeles school with a bunch
of other celebrities walking these kids in and then like.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Were you starstruck?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Uh? Yeah, you forget it.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
I might have been because you before me, you were
the guy at the grocery store who looked at like
the National Inquirer and US Weekly.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah I love the check Yeah yeah, I like.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
You don't love that stuff. Yeah yeah, I don't ever
look at those but yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That whole situation and then that school, and and just
like then the events that the school would do, and
then becoming like you know, being around those other parents
that are are celebrities looking.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
At was really intimidating for you.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
So what do you do again, Dave? Well, I'm opening
a restaurant bar oh where Rampart, which to anyone that
knows it's not a great area, they would never go
to Rampart in East LA. But uh yeah, oh yeah,
I'm gonna come down check it out. I don't think
(20:01):
you should.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
But you didn't move in right away, No.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
We waited. I slept when the kids were home. I
slept in the guest room. That's so cute. It feels
like it was like literally like warp speed and went
from that to like stepdad.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, and looking back, this is something we can talk
about in a future episode because it's a pretty significant
part of our.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Well perfect I like waiting to talk about things.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, you're gonna have to wait because this is a
bigger subject. But I think because we did fast track everything,
there was a lot of like learning and growing on
both our parts, but mostly on your part. I mean
in like having a family like that and being having
all these responsibilities put upon you and yeah, and having
(20:56):
to like model for the kids a certain behavior, and
just you and I getting on the same page about parenting, which.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That really wasn't that difficult, right, That wasn't That wasn't
but we did.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
My point is we did reach some obstacles that we
couldn't get passed or we thought we couldn't get past,
but it didn't. It took us a while, and I
think that you realized, Okay, I'm swimming in the deep
end and I need a life preserver.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah. And then also if you if you take a
step back and look at bigger picture, you know, the
kids were involved, and that's that's the main thing. And
so then all your crazy stuff that's going on in
your head that like it may seem overwhelming, Well, you
made this choice and we have to like kind of
figure this out. And we did. We we're still going
to therapy and and doing a lot of like work.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
But it was it was, it was we reached an impasse.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, we weren't doing we weren't doing the right work.
It was. It was actually we were trying to get
everybody else to do it for us in a weird way.
Does that make sense to you at all? No? Okay,
Well we did go to like three different therapists, and
you remember, Barbara.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We tried some things. We really did try.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
We gave it all we did, and we reached.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
It and passed it. We'll talk about that in another episode.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
But because I have some notes for that, I think
it says I didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
No, no, not at all. But I'm really proud of us.
I'm proud of us for like finding somebody Like when
I found you, I knew this is a good man.
This is a person that I can see in my home,
I can see around my kids, and I can see
(22:53):
growing into you know, who we're going to be as
a couple. I can see that with them. Yeah, you
were very willing and like you seem like you wanted
it too.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I did. I did. But But does this make sense
without knowing it? You know, just just really being in
love with you? Kind of took over everything. And then
I said, well, if that's there, then you know we
can do anything. There's obviously, you know, more to that,
(23:29):
because they say, you know, love conquers all, it actually does,
but you know it's not. You know, there's there's that
other there's that other layer to it that you really
have to work on. But I was just so in
love with you. I was. I was in love with
the kids. I was, you know, in love with an
exciting life that we can make, and then you don't
(23:55):
really think about all the other stuff, A lot of
other stuff. Yep.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
We threw caution to the winds, but.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
It worked out. I mean, it's working out.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
So it's a choice we have to make every day.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
We chose each other that first night.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
You said before that you didn't know if mister Showbiz
approved of you. Did you know that he listens to
every recording of this podcast, so we can ask him
right now in real wa. Yeah, Hey, mister I heard
Days say something before you started recording where he mentioned me,
and I thought, I hope that.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
That she doesn't say that.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I had a problem because I specifically did not I
had a problem with several other guys.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah no, I know, yes, I know about that, but
not this guy.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Absolutely not not this guy.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Not this guy.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'm going to get a T shirt for you that says,
not this guy.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Not this guy.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Oh okay, it's just me again. I'm wondering what you
guys are thinking of me right now because that was
pretty bold. But you know what, I honestly have no
shame in that game. I had been letting men lead
me around for long enough, letting the man make the moves,
(25:28):
make the decisions on whether to move forward in the
relationship or not. And I was over that. I was
over being the passenger in that car. And here's the key.
I had started loving my life again, choosing what I wanted.
I was choosing me for the very first time in
(25:50):
a long time. And that is exactly when it happened.
I believe sometimes in life, when you find something you
really want, something that feels right, you just have to
put it all on the line. You have to go
for it. And that is what I did. I went
for it because at the end of the day, I
(26:13):
really did want what we all want, love loyalty, companionship.
Would I make the same decision again, Yes, Yes, I would, yep, yep, yep.
It hasn't always been easy, but I would absolutely choose
love again. Choosing to love again after heartbreak it's a
(26:37):
profound act of courage, and it is complicated. It's about
acknowledging the pain of the past, but at the same
time refusing to let that pain define our future. It
involves embracing vulnerability, opening ourselves up to that possibility of
(26:58):
hurt all over again, and trusting that we are worthy
of love. One of the biggest challenges is overcoming that
fear of getting hurt again, because after experiencing heartbreak, it's
natural to build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves.
(27:21):
But those walls can also prevent us from fully experiencing
love and connection again. And I know it is so
hard to let go of that past baggage and those
old stories and those old insecurities. But I want you
(27:41):
to see that each new relationship is an opportunity. It's
an opportunity to reinvent yourself and your life, just like
I did. It's a choice, and it's a choice. I
hope you find the courage to invite into your life too.
I love you now. I want you to go look
(28:02):
in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you too.
I'll be right here next week. I hope you will
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Welcome,
my friend. I'm so happy you decided to hang out
with me today. I cannot wait to start talking about
choices with you and how our choices determine our paths
(00:22):
moving forward in life. I have so much in store
for you. I promised you that I would share some
stories from my life, and that is what I'm going
to do today. I want to tell you about the
time I decided to let love in again. But hold on,
let's do that thing. Let's go back in order to
(00:42):
go forward.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
In twenty twelve, I went through a very public and
painful divorce. I spent the next couple of years grieving
and ventually healing. When I find resurfaced into the world,
back into society, people started encouraging me to get back
(01:08):
out there start dating again. That thought honestly made me
feel sick. But when the time felt right, I started
dipping my toe into that pool. And let me tell you,
my dating pool was pretty shallow. It was basically set ups,
friends of friends kind of thing. I had no idea
(01:31):
what I was doing, what I was hoping to find,
who I would find. It was pretty brutal. I was
awkward and needy, not a very attractive combo. When I
look back now, I see a very lost lady just
(01:53):
trying to feel loved again. I was putting way too
much importance and focus on getting a man to love
me again. It was like I was throwing spaghetti against
the wall, just trying to figure out what would stick.
Some of my choices were odd to others, odd to
even me, and in my confused and sort of weakened
(02:17):
state of self understanding, I saw myself attaching my worth
to these guys who had no idea who I really
was and who were just not right. Yet I tried
so hard to make each one of them love me.
I so wanted to succeed in a relationship, and who knows,
(02:41):
maybe maybe I was trying so hard because I wanted
to show my ex what he had lost, what a
mistake he had made. Whatever it was, it wasn't working.
I decided to take a break from searching for that
kind of love altogether and just focus on my girls
and my job. I was doing a sitcom at the
(03:03):
time called Mystery Girls. I was also building a house,
a home for my new family, which was just me
and the girls and our dogs, and I gotta be honest.
I like that vibe a lot more than dating. It
was really turning into a good time in my life.
(03:24):
I was finding my self worth again, and I was
feeling confident and capable of being out there on my own.
I was reinventing my life. I was doing a lot
of work on myself, and I started to think ahead.
My therapist, Wade High. Wade encouraged me to make a
(03:47):
list of my non negotiables. The things that I had
learned were top priorities in my next relationship, and here
are a few of them. Number one a family man,
a man who puts family form first top of the list.
Number two a man who keeps his word honesty very
(04:08):
important to me. Number three someone who could make me laugh.
I really needed some laughter in my life. Number four,
someone who was confident enough in who they were to
let me shine. Also a man who never complained about
how much luggage I packed for a trip. And there
were others, but I don't remember what they are right now.
(04:31):
So that was my list, my list of non negotiables.
That's what I did so I would know when someone
came along and checked the boxes. But all the while
I was asking myself, do I even really ever want
a man in my life again? Which, as you know,
as a middle aged woman who's gone through a divorce,
(04:52):
that's a valid question to ask yourself. So now it
was the end of twenty fourteen, and what they say
is true. It happens when you least expect it, and
it helped me tell the story. I want to introduce
you to the man who loves to let me shine.
I want you all to meet my hubs, Dave Abrams, Hi, babe.
(05:16):
I was thinking we could talk about how we met.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh yeah, I like that story.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I mean, you know, people like to know these stories.
Everybody loves a what's it called a cute meat meet.
I don't like cute me because you know ours of
ours was a blind meet.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Cute. Do you remember the story? Because I remember you
get a lot of You get a lot of flak
for your memory.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I do, but I remember the story.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Do you want to tell it? Yeah? How about you? Sorry,
we'll go with that, okay. So what was what was
your perspective on a blind date?
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I thought I was going to talk Oh my god, okay,
my friend who was uh seeing a guy who was
younger than her. She had just been divorced not that
long ago, and now she was seeing a younger man.
I was like, oh, that's so cool. When we started
we chatted. She was a school friend, yeah, school friend,
a mommy friend of mine at school, and I remember
we were on our yearly camp out at El Capitan,
(06:17):
uh huh, and she said to me, would you be
open to meeting my boyfriends, one of his best friends.
And I was like, I wasn't really even like at
the place of wanting to meet anybody, but I was
at the place in my life after the divorce where
I had done a ton of work and I was
(06:37):
finally happy on my own. I felt really strong, really confident.
And then she said that to me, and I was like, okay,
I'll practice. Let me practice. I need to practice dating.
So I went what they set up a blind date
basically with us, and it was like a double date.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Do you remember when you googled me?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Oh that was yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
People do that. Yeah, everybody.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're gonna go out with somebody and it's you know,
a blond day you google them.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, but you know there was at the time. I
don't know if I don't know, if Dave Abrams the
Chippendale dancer, if you're out there, Dave, he's out there.
You got a nice physique.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, because when you google Dave vid or Dave Abrams, Yeah,
he was coming up a Chipendale dancer.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Google's all it's all something else, it's all Jenny and Dave.
It's just Jenny and David.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Anyways. But I thought I was going on a double
date with a Chippendale dancer.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, little did you know?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
No, I knew by the time I got to the restaurant,
I knew you were a Chipendale's dancer. But I did
walk in. I did walk in, and immediately what.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
The bar was a crowded by the way, you were
late whatever. Do you know how many minutes late? You
were like, oh my god, you do yeah, fifteen minutes late.
We had to wait.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Are you sure it wasn't sixteen minutes, No, fifteen okay.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
For sure. And you were wearing all black and you
out of your hair was cut at a bob and
a bob. That's cute. Looking back, you ordered like.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Wait, I was talking, this is what happened. I was saying.
When I walked into the thing, into the bar. It
was crowded, and immediately my eyes went to a tall
man standing at the bar, like your typical actor, like
LA guy that really handsome.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I'd tee offense to that.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
And immediately I said, oh m hmm. And then they
introduced me to you, and you were that guy.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Well, we sat down us four, and we ordered some drinks.
You said nothing, and then they proceeded to talk. I
kind of didn't say anything.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I didn't really feel social. I wasn't in a social
mood to begin with for some reason. Yeah, and then
it just it felt awkward. I felt like I was
being interviewed almost, and.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
They were talking about nine oh two and oh, and
I was like, I, all, I don't I don't know
the show.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
You never watched it.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
No, I didn't know. I mean my sister did. But
I mean I knew. I mean obviously I knew of you.
I googled you. You Google. The first thing out of
my mouth when I was approached to go in the
state was oh, she's three kids. All right, Well whatever,
I'll go. Ah and yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Wait, you probably should have really thought that through a
little bit more.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I mean, yeah, yeah, that's probably a thing I don't
really think. So I went in there and yeah, you
didn't say a word and you ordered pasta and salt.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
It was a very foodie restaurant, and you know I
don't like food.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Looking back, yeah, I was like, oh, do you want
to try this? This this place is really good fish pasta. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
No, I'm.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Like anyways, looking back, it makes complete a get it.
And then we left the restaurant. They were leaving and
you're we were going to valet. You gave the ticket.
Your car got pulled up right in front of mine.
I was saying, I walked over to you and I
was like, after what did we say? Like three sentences
(10:25):
of each other. I was like, well, it was really
nice meeting you. Can I call you sometime. It's kind
of like a like you were going to be like, no,
see you and you're like no, but you can follow me,
And I was like, I first thought was oh on Instagram. No.
She was like, no, dummy, follow me in your car.
(10:46):
So we were on the yeah, and then you like
like a like a bat out of hell.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I wanted to get out of there.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And I don't drive fast, and I like, I've been
accused of driving like an old man, I do the
speed limit. My motto is I don't. I ain't got
nowhere to be. That's gonna kill me. Okay, and you
flew and we were in silver Lake.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I needed to I did that intentionally. I drove like
that intentionally, and I spoke to you like that intentionally
because I needed to know if you were on the
same level as me, like, hmmm, a little crazy, spontaneous,
a little a little wild.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Okay, well, yeah, I guess I was. You were. I'm
not like that though I probably would have went over
and went to bed, but I followed you. We went
to this little place called Cafe.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Stella, had a little drink at the bar.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
We got to know each other, and you.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Started to make me laugh. Yeah, almost instantly, and I
was like, hey, he's not just a pretty face. He's
actually funny and fun to hang out with. I like
this guy, and you were hot, which started just like
change my mind.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Well thank you for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I
thought you were like fun and beautiful and refreshing and
to the point, not a lot of bullshit. When we
left Cafe Cella, I walked you out to the valet.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And was that our first kid?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I don't remember it. How was it?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It was good? I got tingles, yeah, and then we
said goodbye. I lived kind of closed. You lived in
Studio City, so you lived a little bit further away.
I got home right but right when I pulled into
my driveway, I remember getting a text and you said,
you want one more drink.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was like, okay, what time is it now?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Oh god? That was well. That place was closing, Cafe's eleven.
It was like a Tuesday night.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
We are wild.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Tuesday night, eleven o'clock. You text you want one more
drink a baye bar, and you sent me this address.
And I was like, I lived in Studio City. I
don't know the bay bar. What bar is this?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I can't believe you're telling this story.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, And so I drove over there and I was like,
I don't know this bar. I'm going up a hill.
It's all residential, residential canyon. And I get to a
gate and I text you I'm here, and the gate
just opens. I pull in. There's no no, the lights
are kind of off, there's no one. I don't know
(13:34):
if you're in there. And I walked to the front door.
It's it's a beautiful, beautiful house. But I'm thinking to myself,
what the absolute hell am I doing? What what am
I doing? And then we had a we had a
nice evening.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
We chatted, you came to the bay bar, came to
the bar at a bar then, Yeah, and we named
it the Babe bar because it was all girls at
my house at the time and there's.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
The big bar. When we sat and we chatted and yeah,
that was that was it. Came to see the next
day at work, it was mosy on up at the bar.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I mean instantly it was we were on that was.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It over done?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Didn't look back, Nope, didn't listen to anybody.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
No, m did we have anybody? There was anybody like
objecting on your side when we were first together.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Well, what if I tell you that now? Are you
going to be mad at them?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
No? Not at all? No, Wait, who I remember? I
remember Luca, But Luca was also seventeen, about to be eighteen.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I mean that's a pretty significant opposer. Yeah, our oldest daughter.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, I mean senior in high school. There's a lot
going on. And then we kind of threw that on her. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Oh, by the way, we're getting married after being together
for three months.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, after your graduation in July. Wait you graduate June.
Oh yeah, then we're gonna have a wedding. Wait who who? Who?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I'm trying to think. I don't think that mister Showbiz objected,
or at least if he did, or if there was
any conversation about it, he never told me. I would
love to ask him now, like, was there something you
wanted to tell me but you never did?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh, I'm for sure it was in the back of
his head.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
What about you did your my mom never said because
she really liked you and she loved what you brought
to our family.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
M hmm. Kind of the same background, you know, kind
of were raised in the same like old fashion. Your
mom's very old fashioned Midwest. Uh, and so was your dad.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Okay, so mister Shobbs didn't object. My mom didn't object. No,
Adele didn't object. She met you, she vetted you.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, well I met Adele, like what was it this
second or second week we were together?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, and she loved you. I met your friends mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, and I when my the friend who introduced us
already knew you, sort of like acquaintances, and then all
my other friends were yeah. On board. I mean, they
all thought I was nuts.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Looking back, do you think you were nuts for making
that decision? Mmm?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I mean, looking back, yeah, I feel like it was
a nutty decision. But I wouldn't have done anything different.
I don't really. I think I don't really have a plan.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I mean we joked sometimes and say, probably should have
thought that through a little better.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, even if we had thought it through, even if
you had more time to think it through, you were
You're saying you would still make the same Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I would have made the same decision absolutely, What about you?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
I would have made the same decision too, only because
I am crazy and I love adventure and I'm you
know what I mean, Like this just seemed.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Well in the beginning, it's always you know, fun stuff.
And then you had jobs, and we went on some trips,
like we went to Arizona and then we went to
Cabo and then we went all over the place. So
yeah that eventually the trips fizzle out and.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Life gets real.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I remember thinking, like, once the glitter wears off of
this new relationship and the excitement of it all, what's
going to happen? Yeah, And we were faced with that
reality very early, like literally like a month after we
got married.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, that was that was crazy. Thrust here you go
into the real world.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I mean, because your life it's not I mean, our
lives both changed. I would say your life changed drastically. Drastically.
You went from a single.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Guy living in a one bedroom apartment to moving into
a little bit of a nicer house in Studio City.
Three four dogs again at the time, three step children,
and then all of a sudden, I'm taking you know,
the girls to school and walking them into class because
(18:28):
this was you know, they were still in the lower school,
was the lower in upper school, and everybody would take
the kids in in the morning and you'd have stuff
to do, and we were like delegating between like Peter
had them one week and then we had them the
other week.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And you were so great though, you just really jumped
into everything with both feet, like you dove in.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, I mean it. And also it was crazy and
like being in that situation all of a sudden, I'm
at this like prominent Los Angeles school with a bunch
of other celebrities walking these kids in and then like.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Were you starstruck?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Uh? Yeah, you forget it.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
I might have been because you before me, you were
the guy at the grocery store who looked at like
the National Inquirer and US Weekly.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah I love the check Yeah yeah, I like.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
You don't love that stuff. Yeah yeah, I don't ever
look at those but yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That whole situation and then that school, and and just
like then the events that the school would do, and
then becoming like you know, being around those other parents
that are are celebrities looking.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
At was really intimidating for you.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
So what do you do again, Dave? Well, I'm opening
a restaurant bar oh where Rampart, which to anyone that
knows it's not a great area, they would never go
to Rampart in East LA. But uh yeah, oh yeah,
I'm gonna come down check it out. I don't think
(20:01):
you should.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
But you didn't move in right away, No.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
We waited. I slept when the kids were home. I
slept in the guest room. That's so cute. It feels
like it was like literally like warp speed and went
from that to like stepdad.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, and looking back, this is something we can talk
about in a future episode because it's a pretty significant
part of our.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Well perfect I like waiting to talk about things.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, you're gonna have to wait because this is a
bigger subject. But I think because we did fast track everything,
there was a lot of like learning and growing on
both our parts, but mostly on your part. I mean
in like having a family like that and being having
all these responsibilities put upon you and yeah, and having
(20:56):
to like model for the kids a certain behavior, and
just you and I getting on the same page about parenting, which.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That really wasn't that difficult, right, That wasn't That wasn't
but we did.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
My point is we did reach some obstacles that we
couldn't get passed or we thought we couldn't get past,
but it didn't. It took us a while, and I
think that you realized, Okay, I'm swimming in the deep
end and I need a life preserver.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah. And then also if you if you take a
step back and look at bigger picture, you know, the
kids were involved, and that's that's the main thing. And
so then all your crazy stuff that's going on in
your head that like it may seem overwhelming, Well, you
made this choice and we have to like kind of
figure this out. And we did. We we're still going
to therapy and and doing a lot of like work.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
But it was it was, it was we reached an impasse.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, we weren't doing we weren't doing the right work.
It was. It was actually we were trying to get
everybody else to do it for us in a weird way.
Does that make sense to you at all? No? Okay,
Well we did go to like three different therapists, and
you remember, Barbara.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We tried some things. We really did try.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
We gave it all we did, and we reached.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
It and passed it. We'll talk about that in another episode.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
But because I have some notes for that, I think
it says I didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
No, no, not at all. But I'm really proud of us.
I'm proud of us for like finding somebody Like when
I found you, I knew this is a good man.
This is a person that I can see in my home,
I can see around my kids, and I can see
(22:53):
growing into you know, who we're going to be as
a couple. I can see that with them. Yeah, you
were very willing and like you seem like you wanted
it too.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I did. I did. But But does this make sense
without knowing it? You know, just just really being in
love with you? Kind of took over everything. And then
I said, well, if that's there, then you know we
can do anything. There's obviously, you know, more to that,
(23:29):
because they say, you know, love conquers all, it actually does,
but you know it's not. You know, there's there's that
other there's that other layer to it that you really
have to work on. But I was just so in
love with you. I was. I was in love with
the kids. I was, you know, in love with an
exciting life that we can make, and then you don't
(23:55):
really think about all the other stuff, A lot of
other stuff. Yep.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
We threw caution to the winds, but.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
It worked out. I mean, it's working out.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
So it's a choice we have to make every day.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
We chose each other that first night.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
You said before that you didn't know if mister Showbiz
approved of you. Did you know that he listens to
every recording of this podcast, so we can ask him
right now in real wa. Yeah, Hey, mister I heard
Days say something before you started recording where he mentioned me,
and I thought, I hope that.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
That she doesn't say that.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I had a problem because I specifically did not I
had a problem with several other guys.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah no, I know, yes, I know about that, but
not this guy.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Absolutely not not this guy.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Not this guy.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'm going to get a T shirt for you that says,
not this guy.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Not this guy.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Oh okay, it's just me again. I'm wondering what you
guys are thinking of me right now because that was
pretty bold. But you know what, I honestly have no
shame in that game. I had been letting men lead
me around for long enough, letting the man make the moves,
(25:28):
make the decisions on whether to move forward in the
relationship or not. And I was over that. I was
over being the passenger in that car. And here's the key.
I had started loving my life again, choosing what I wanted.
I was choosing me for the very first time in
(25:50):
a long time. And that is exactly when it happened.
I believe sometimes in life, when you find something you
really want, something that feels right, you just have to
put it all on the line. You have to go
for it. And that is what I did. I went
for it because at the end of the day, I
(26:13):
really did want what we all want, love loyalty, companionship.
Would I make the same decision again, Yes, Yes, I would, yep, yep, yep.
It hasn't always been easy, but I would absolutely choose
love again. Choosing to love again after heartbreak it's a
(26:37):
profound act of courage, and it is complicated. It's about
acknowledging the pain of the past, but at the same
time refusing to let that pain define our future. It
involves embracing vulnerability, opening ourselves up to that possibility of
(26:58):
hurt all over again, and trusting that we are worthy
of love. One of the biggest challenges is overcoming that
fear of getting hurt again, because after experiencing heartbreak, it's
natural to build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves.
(27:21):
But those walls can also prevent us from fully experiencing
love and connection again. And I know it is so
hard to let go of that past baggage and those
old stories and those old insecurities. But I want you
(27:41):
to see that each new relationship is an opportunity. It's
an opportunity to reinvent yourself and your life, just like
I did. It's a choice, and it's a choice. I
hope you find the courage to invite into your life too.
I love you now. I want you to go look
(28:02):
in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you too.
I'll be right here next week. I hope you will
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