May 1, 2024 • 10 mins
Is this your favorite day of the week? Time for more Deiilah Dilemmas! ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Through every night
on my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love
(00:23):
them all. When you call or you write with a
situation that you're in and you just need a little
advice and direction, we love them all, and today we
wanted to share some of them with you on Hey
It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from somebody my generation,
in fact, just about my age. Don writes, I've just
(00:48):
recently started listening to your station again, she says. I'm
sixty three years old now, and for many years, my
daughter has been leaving my granddaughter on my doorstep every
time the wind blows. That granddaughter is now eighteen, almost nineteen,
and she is still being dropped at my place. But
(01:08):
she is so very disrespectful, and she gets really mad.
She has called me every name in the book. I
just don't know what to do anymore. I have a
bad heart now, and my daughter is doing whatever she's doing.
My granddaughter's doing whatever she's doing. It's getting worse every day.
(01:29):
And I'm at the end of my rope. I just
want to be healthy and enjoy whatever part of life
I have left. Do you have any advice from Don?
I do, Don. I have words of wisdom I think
for you. Coming up next, Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Don,
(01:56):
who has been used as a doormat for many, many,
many years, first by her daughter, now by her granddaughter. Done,
pick up that doormat off your front porch and lock
the door, Go out the back door, get in your car,
and go have fun. You don't have to give anybody
an explanation. It's your life. You don't have to argue
(02:17):
with your daughter. You don't have to argue with your granddaughter.
Change the lock if they have a key, lock your house,
Go out the back door and go live your life.
Go on vacation, Go see your best friend, Go join
a painting class, Go take a yoga class for seniors.
(02:38):
Go do something fun, something lovely, something healing for you.
There's an old book came out when you were probably
in your thirties called Boundaries by doctor Cloud and doctor Townsend.
It changed my life, it can change yours. Set some
boundaries with these two young women with your daughter and
(03:00):
your granddaughter. It's one thing to love, it's one thing
to bless. It is another thing to be codependent and
let them abuse you and walk all over you. You
are not a door matt You are a woman. Find
your strength, find your independence, find your tribe, your people,
your friends, and go live life. Go live your life.
(03:25):
Go ride a bike, go join a gym, Go do
something that's good for you, good for your heart, good
for your soul. That doesn't mean you stop loving them.
It means you stop letting them use you. They have
used you, and now they've used you up. So roll
up the front door mat that says you are welcome
(03:47):
to come and walk all over me. Roll that up.
In fact, put it in the trash can on your
way out the back door. Lock that door, Change the lock.
If you got to go out the back door, get
in your car and go some place for you. Okay,
and read that book. Enjoy your years, Grandma. You have
deserved them, you have earned them. God bless you and
(04:11):
good luck. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma says, I listened to you
every night during the week. Thank you. Many years ago,
I had a long relationship with a man whom I
had a child with. I ended up raising my daughter
as a single mom. My ex did not participate in
(04:32):
her life. She grew to be a wonderful woman with
a good job, a husband, and two children of her own.
Five years ago, I got cancer. I'm now in remission now.
A few weeks ago, I find out that my ex
has cancer, and then by accident, I ran into him.
(04:52):
It has been eleven years since we last spoke, but
our chat was so uplifting. We shared our health scare
stories and we went on our way. My question is
do I leave it alone now? Some part of me
wants to invite him into our lives, even though when
I had cancer, we never heard from him, and he's
(05:12):
never even seen his grandchildren. He does have a significant other,
but I feel that life is too short. Please give
me some wisdom from Carrie. I will give you that wisdom.
Coming up next, Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Carrie, who
(05:39):
was involved with a man many years ago. They had
a child together, he split the scene, she raised the
child alone. He didn't participate. She's been a part of
her grandchildren's life. He's never participated. She ran into him,
and now she wants to know. Should she invite him
to be a part of your life, Carrie, unless you
told him years ago, don't come around, don't contact your daughter,
(06:02):
don't have anything to do with her, don't send me
child support, don't go to her class plays, do not
show up, or I'll do something drastic. Unless you did that,
and I know you didn't. Just I can tell by
your letter you're not that kind of person. Unless you
set boundaries cutting him out of her life. He made
(06:23):
that choice, he chose not to participate in his child's life.
Should you forgive him? Of course, so should she. But
he has shown you by his actions that he doesn't care,
that he doesn't care about his daughter, he doesn't care
about his granddaughter. He's not a caring person. So why
(06:46):
would you invite that into your life? Why would you
set your grandkids up to be hurt by him? If
he can walk away from his precious daughter and never
be involved in her life, if he can know that
he's got grand babies and not want to snuggle them,
hug them, toss them in the air, take them for
a hike, take them fishing, take them to a play,
(07:09):
then even if you invited him into your life, and
even if he came into your life and their life,
he's not going to stay. He's not going to be there,
and then he's going to hurt them the same way
he hurt you and his daughter. Don't do that. Life
is too short and too precious. Love him, forgive him,
(07:29):
Let him go, you let him go before. Don't hang
on to any fantasies of creating a family that doesn't
exist with him. If he cared, he would have been proactive.
Good luck, enjoy your beautiful family, and I hope that
your cancer is gone forever and you live a long
and healthy life. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Robin, who
(07:59):
says I'm twenty four four years old and have an
amazing little boyhole Before this year, I married my husband
when I was only nineteen, and we were separated just
a year later. My marriage was absolutely horrible. I had
to save myself and my son, and so I left.
It's been over three years now and I've not filed
for divorce because I just can't afford it. My husband,
(08:23):
who I'm still married to, does not help at all
with my son, not financially or emotionally. Meanwhile, I've started
seeing someone and we've been dating for over a year now.
He wants to marry me. He wants to help me
raise our son. He and my son are not related,
but they adore each other and my son calls him daddy.
(08:44):
He is out of the country for work right now,
but he sends money for a rent. He sent roses
on Valentine's Day. He remembers our anniversary and celebrates my birthday.
He wants me to get divorced as much as I
want it. We recently got in to a disagreement over
finances because he wants to help me. He even offered
(09:05):
to help pay for the divorce, but I am too
ashamed to let him help me. What should I do?
Am I just being stupid and prideful to want to
do this one thing on my own? Or should I
accept this help Robin? I will have my mother Delilah
words coming up in just a moment. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma
(09:32):
is from Robin, who is legally married to her first husband,
who was not loving and was abusive, and she has
been in a relationship with another man for some time
who is helping her to raise her son. I'm a
little confused here, Robin. You say he pays the rent,
he sends roses on Valentine's Day, he remembers your birthday.
(09:53):
He is helping you to raise your son, and then
you go on to say I am too ashamed to
let him help me. Clearly, you too are in a
partnership and he is helping you. So make up your mind.
You either want to be independent and not in a
committed relationship with him, or you want to be a
family with him. If that is the case, then let
(10:14):
him pay for the divorce, get divorced so you can
marry him and get past this nonsense of your past.
But if you're going to accept help for your rent
and for raising your son, why in the world would
you not let him pay for the divorce so you
can get legally married. That is my best advice, Robin.
Good luck and God bless you and your new family.
(10:38):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah.
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Through every night
on my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love
(00:23):
them all. When you call or you write with a
situation that you're in and you just need a little
advice and direction, we love them all, and today we
wanted to share some of them with you on Hey
It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from somebody my generation,
in fact, just about my age. Don writes, I've just
(00:48):
recently started listening to your station again, she says. I'm
sixty three years old now, and for many years, my
daughter has been leaving my granddaughter on my doorstep every
time the wind blows. That granddaughter is now eighteen, almost nineteen,
and she is still being dropped at my place. But
(01:08):
she is so very disrespectful, and she gets really mad.
She has called me every name in the book. I
just don't know what to do anymore. I have a
bad heart now, and my daughter is doing whatever she's doing.
My granddaughter's doing whatever she's doing. It's getting worse every day.
(01:29):
And I'm at the end of my rope. I just
want to be healthy and enjoy whatever part of life
I have left. Do you have any advice from Don?
I do, Don. I have words of wisdom I think
for you. Coming up next, Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Don,
(01:56):
who has been used as a doormat for many, many,
many years, first by her daughter, now by her granddaughter. Done,
pick up that doormat off your front porch and lock
the door, Go out the back door, get in your car,
and go have fun. You don't have to give anybody
an explanation. It's your life. You don't have to argue
(02:17):
with your daughter. You don't have to argue with your granddaughter.
Change the lock if they have a key, lock your house,
Go out the back door and go live your life.
Go on vacation, Go see your best friend, Go join
a painting class, Go take a yoga class for seniors.
(02:38):
Go do something fun, something lovely, something healing for you.
There's an old book came out when you were probably
in your thirties called Boundaries by doctor Cloud and doctor Townsend.
It changed my life, it can change yours. Set some
boundaries with these two young women with your daughter and
(03:00):
your granddaughter. It's one thing to love, it's one thing
to bless. It is another thing to be codependent and
let them abuse you and walk all over you. You
are not a door matt You are a woman. Find
your strength, find your independence, find your tribe, your people,
your friends, and go live life. Go live your life.
(03:25):
Go ride a bike, go join a gym, Go do
something that's good for you, good for your heart, good
for your soul. That doesn't mean you stop loving them.
It means you stop letting them use you. They have
used you, and now they've used you up. So roll
up the front door mat that says you are welcome
(03:47):
to come and walk all over me. Roll that up.
In fact, put it in the trash can on your
way out the back door. Lock that door, Change the lock.
If you got to go out the back door, get
in your car and go some place for you. Okay,
and read that book. Enjoy your years, Grandma. You have
deserved them, you have earned them. God bless you and
(04:11):
good luck. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma says, I listened to you
every night during the week. Thank you. Many years ago,
I had a long relationship with a man whom I
had a child with. I ended up raising my daughter
as a single mom. My ex did not participate in
(04:32):
her life. She grew to be a wonderful woman with
a good job, a husband, and two children of her own.
Five years ago, I got cancer. I'm now in remission now.
A few weeks ago, I find out that my ex
has cancer, and then by accident, I ran into him.
(04:52):
It has been eleven years since we last spoke, but
our chat was so uplifting. We shared our health scare
stories and we went on our way. My question is
do I leave it alone now? Some part of me
wants to invite him into our lives, even though when
I had cancer, we never heard from him, and he's
(05:12):
never even seen his grandchildren. He does have a significant other,
but I feel that life is too short. Please give
me some wisdom from Carrie. I will give you that wisdom.
Coming up next, Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Carrie, who
(05:39):
was involved with a man many years ago. They had
a child together, he split the scene, she raised the
child alone. He didn't participate. She's been a part of
her grandchildren's life. He's never participated. She ran into him,
and now she wants to know. Should she invite him
to be a part of your life, Carrie, unless you
told him years ago, don't come around, don't contact your daughter,
(06:02):
don't have anything to do with her, don't send me
child support, don't go to her class plays, do not
show up, or I'll do something drastic. Unless you did that,
and I know you didn't. Just I can tell by
your letter you're not that kind of person. Unless you
set boundaries cutting him out of her life. He made
(06:23):
that choice, he chose not to participate in his child's life.
Should you forgive him? Of course, so should she. But
he has shown you by his actions that he doesn't care,
that he doesn't care about his daughter, he doesn't care
about his granddaughter. He's not a caring person. So why
(06:46):
would you invite that into your life? Why would you
set your grandkids up to be hurt by him? If
he can walk away from his precious daughter and never
be involved in her life, if he can know that
he's got grand babies and not want to snuggle them,
hug them, toss them in the air, take them for
a hike, take them fishing, take them to a play,
(07:09):
then even if you invited him into your life, and
even if he came into your life and their life,
he's not going to stay. He's not going to be there,
and then he's going to hurt them the same way
he hurt you and his daughter. Don't do that. Life
is too short and too precious. Love him, forgive him,
(07:29):
Let him go, you let him go before. Don't hang
on to any fantasies of creating a family that doesn't
exist with him. If he cared, he would have been proactive.
Good luck, enjoy your beautiful family, and I hope that
your cancer is gone forever and you live a long
and healthy life. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Robin, who
(07:59):
says I'm twenty four four years old and have an
amazing little boyhole Before this year, I married my husband
when I was only nineteen, and we were separated just
a year later. My marriage was absolutely horrible. I had
to save myself and my son, and so I left.
It's been over three years now and I've not filed
for divorce because I just can't afford it. My husband,
(08:23):
who I'm still married to, does not help at all
with my son, not financially or emotionally. Meanwhile, I've started
seeing someone and we've been dating for over a year now.
He wants to marry me. He wants to help me
raise our son. He and my son are not related,
but they adore each other and my son calls him daddy.
(08:44):
He is out of the country for work right now,
but he sends money for a rent. He sent roses
on Valentine's Day. He remembers our anniversary and celebrates my birthday.
He wants me to get divorced as much as I
want it. We recently got in to a disagreement over
finances because he wants to help me. He even offered
(09:05):
to help pay for the divorce, but I am too
ashamed to let him help me. What should I do?
Am I just being stupid and prideful to want to
do this one thing on my own? Or should I
accept this help Robin? I will have my mother Delilah
words coming up in just a moment. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma
(09:32):
is from Robin, who is legally married to her first husband,
who was not loving and was abusive, and she has
been in a relationship with another man for some time
who is helping her to raise her son. I'm a
little confused here, Robin. You say he pays the rent,
he sends roses on Valentine's Day, he remembers your birthday.
(09:53):
He is helping you to raise your son, and then
you go on to say I am too ashamed to
let him help me. Clearly, you too are in a
partnership and he is helping you. So make up your mind.
You either want to be independent and not in a
committed relationship with him, or you want to be a
family with him. If that is the case, then let
(10:14):
him pay for the divorce, get divorced so you can
marry him and get past this nonsense of your past.
But if you're going to accept help for your rent
and for raising your son, why in the world would
you not let him pay for the divorce so you
can get legally married. That is my best advice, Robin.
Good luck and God bless you and your new family.
(10:38):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah.
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