April 24, 2024 • 17 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Quick tanshine, tan gine, Let's do it. Hit the thing,
hit the thing.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's the tangent with the bread show, giving you all
the we couldn't talk.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
About on air.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
What I I'd lug. I gotta go eat something here.
I'm getting delirious. I'm getting I've been delirious all day.
It's time a big boy needs to eat.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
What do you eat today?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I don't know. I haven't decided, but nobody cares about that.
I just I'm saying I'm hungry and I need to
You know, Okay, you care. But I'm saying if people
listening to this ship, they're not they don't care what
I'm about to go eat for breakfast or lunch or
whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Maybe they'll get the same thing you get. If they
hear like, oh, Fred's gonna get Chipotle?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh, then get Who are the people that pay me
get Duncan get sweet green? Get? Uh? Who else pays
me with food? I don't know other places? Oh these meals?
Go get yourself a these meal or pot belly.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I'll jake some breass, yes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Or Wendy's.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Get you some Wendy's.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, you got a food sponsor?
Speaker 5 (01:00):
No, But I am cooking today.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
If you want to hang around, you're cooking here.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Some of the chickens doing in the fridge.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Oh you're so noisy.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yeah, I don't even know what the chicken.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Was in the fridge. If you ever want to know
who the person is who steals your lunch out of
the fridge because they're hungry, it's this guy. Yeah, that's
the guy that would do it right there. What are
you cooking?
Speaker 5 (01:19):
I am going to make lemon pepper chicken strips chickens
just because in the air fryer for my cooking show.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Oh, I see you're gonna do it here, though, what
time is that going to be? It? Right after this?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Is it over? Is this over?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I gets hung wrap it up right now.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I mean, there's a lot of things that we don't have,
but we do have an air fryer. Yeah, so we
don't have climate control, we don't have mental health insurance,
we don't you know, make a fair wage, but but
we do have an air fryer. So there's that.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
There's some new pop tart flavors out there too.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Oh wow, and once again, no mental health insurance whatsoever.
But guys, I wanted I've been meaning to bring this
to your attention. It's been on my sheet here for
a couple of days, and it was only for the
tangent though I really there was no way to properly
do this story on the on the program. But women
are paying five hundred dollars to get salmon sperm injected
(02:19):
into their vaginas. Salmon, that's the part that concerns you.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I mean, yeah, you can get a lot of things vagina.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Why would I want to know salmon.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
To go there? What things like salmon? No, you definitely don't.
That is a stigma that we've been trying to, uh,
you know, eradicate women. Yeah, I mean we've been trying
to We've been trying to eradicate that for some time now.
So women are paying five hundred bucks to salmon sperm
injected into their vaginas to improve their sex lives. So
(02:48):
a nurse who runs a clinic in London says they
do the O shot and women are reporting stronger and
more frequent orgasms, increase natural lubrication, and greater sexual arousal.
The O shot is a non surgical treatment intended to
rejuvenate the vagina and increase sexual arousal and is alleged
(03:09):
to typically show results after about two to four sessions.
Several kinds of injections are used for the procedure, including
the patient's own blood or salmon sperm. One doctor saying
it's life changing. As people age, their skin loses elasticity,
which can lead to vaginal dryness and painful sex. So
DNA extracted from the salmon sperm has potent regenerative qualities,
(03:33):
working not on the superficial level, but sinking deeply into
the skin to work from within, encouraging cell turnover that
in turn helps firm skin and maintain its elasticity. The
purefied and sterilized salmon DNA molecules officially call I might
even try and say what this is. Poly Nucleotides, Yeah,
also have an anti inflammatory effect that essentially rejuvenates the
(03:55):
skin anywhere on the body.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Interesting shot at like salmon babies, like salm and sperm.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh my god, you can't. You can't cross pollinates.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
You know, fuck.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Because you don't want to know something. Someone somewhere has
had sex with a fish, but somewhere has tried em.
You can't just take to you can't just take two
species and mate them and they it just happens. It
doesn't work that way. It doesn't. It's no And I'm
not a scientist, but you can't know how they.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Get them dogs to look, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
These there, but they're both dogs, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I mean if salmon sperm goes in your JJ, salmon
phil doesn't come out, you don't get a philly roll,
you know, like.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Gills and skills.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
No, what God, you do you think if that weren't possible,
that people wouldn't be doing it all the time. People
are stupid.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
You have done gross it with animals and we don't
have any.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Exactly, thank you.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, but honestly, just getting some lube and some weed
as much cheaper man weed will help with your orgasms
and just luber up. I'm not putting salmon anywhere in
your I.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Do love high sex, high sexist. Yeah, yeah, it's stone stone.
I want to be spelling specify stone sex. That's the
I mean. I because a high I suppose could be
any drug. And I'm not a big heroin guy anymore, so,
I mean not as big as I once was. You know,
I've really sort of chilled that I'm a heroin use.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
But no, it's scientifically like it'll make your o's last
longer and it feels better.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, what would you say though, off the
top of your head, what is the nastiest thing that
you've done electively to yourself that you can think of?
Because I mean women, you guys have done all sorts
of things for beauty. I mean you're essentially you know,
you're was it botulism, You're essentially like injecting yourself with
botulism when you get you know, botox or whatever. Yeah,
lip fillers kind of grows.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I mean, you know, yeah, I mean I do botox,
and I would if salmon sperm made me look younger,
I would do it on my face.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
I'm just not put it in my huha.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I'm paying that. Yeah, that's not something you thought you'd say.
It work today.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I want to be young.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
You will put the spark.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
You don't put anything on my face if it'll freeze it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
All right, All right, listen.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
We're putting snail musin on our face. Musin?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
What is that? But like what nail mus?
Speaker 4 (06:23):
We're putting snail musin on our face?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
The snail trail. It's so bad. But I don't know
what it is.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
I'm going to tell you exactly what it is. I've
already put it on my face.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
But I don't really nail musin, yes, for beauty?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Is it? Is it that like sticky substance that they
leave behind you?
Speaker 4 (06:41):
It's just damn ai oh my god, extra.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Music.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But say, there's everything it does. What were you looking
at yourself in the mirror for I'm.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Just looking to make sure I don't need no snail,
semen or whatever on my musin that But yeah, I
don't know. This is nasty and the only thing I
do is what other people here. I don't know about
seemen and all that.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
You wear other people's hair. Yes, that's about the somebody
wash it.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
The snail musin is the mucus that snails secrete.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah, and they don't die because I look that up.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And you put it on your face.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, it's like the biggest thing in skincare right now.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
For example, the musin from a snail's foot helps the
snail lubricate its path and sticks.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Snails have feet. That's the most shocking part of that
story to move somehow.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, so what do you think they do?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Just like sack roll.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, I thought they're just scooting along listen, anything to
make me look young.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, I know. I don't know, Honestly, I don't. There's
just no like. I don't. I think I'm just going
to age as gracefully as as age allows me to.
I don't know, because I don't want to start chasing it,
you know what I mean. Like if I start, if
I go and freeze my face up because it's getting wrinkly,
then like then you have to keep doing it. Otherwise
(08:02):
I think you wind up looking older because you looked young,
you know what I mean. And then I don't know.
It just seems like a slippery slope of things that
you're chasing.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Luckily, men just get hotter with age.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I have one hundred percent hotter than I was ten
years ago, There's no doubt about it. And I'm hotter
than I was twenty years ago, there's no doubt about it.
And that's relative, by the way, hot to whatever you
considered hot, Ben. But I definitely look better now than
I did ten years ago, there's no doubt about it.
And I'm not doing anything about the gray. I'm not
doing anything about No. You don't have to, no cause
it's going to go totally gray, Like it's at some
(08:35):
point you're not long from now, I'll just be completely gray.
And it just did. But if I start putting like
just for man or even if I have a professionally
colored then you got to chase that. You got to
keep doing that. Otherwise I think you're only calling out
how much older you look or think you look. That's
another thing is I think that people do stuff to
their faces and they do stuff to their bodies to
(08:57):
look younger. But all you're really doing is calling out
the fact that you're chasing age, which is inevitable.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
It's just very different for women just aging in general.
There's a lot more pressure.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
And females on TV, you know, the news anchors and
stuff like.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
It's just it's a very different conversation, sadly. But yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Telling you you age however you age, and.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I like, well, I love that. I wish you spoke
for everyone I do, but you don't.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I have the voice of Chicago.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
You are.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm the voice of a generation. Yeah, I wish.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I wish that I.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Say a lot of things that people should Most of
what comes out of my mouth, people should be listening
very carefully to.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I mean like I'm thirty two and just got told
I have the bottom half of my body looks like
a seventy year old.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I've been told I am saggy knees.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
I've been told, I mean, it is crazy out here.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Some ass one, asshole comment or said that, no people come.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
For my knees all the time. I never was self
conscious about my knees.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
There's nothing wrong with your name. Help that I.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Put stuff on my knees. They didn't make me so
conscious about my damn knees. You know it's you know,
times are tough out here, but you want some snail music.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
No, I'm just, I just there's nothing wrong with your knees.
There's nothing, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong, nothing wrong
with it with it, your bottom half, your top half,
both half, the whole thing together as one.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
You never wanted to call me Grandma Bottoms, Grandma bott It's.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Funny how I refer to you now behind your back.
That's all I've called you for years, but but no,
never to your face. Absolutely Grandma bottom.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
That's one of the hashtags.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Granny patties over here.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Miss Grandma Bottoms. To you if you nasty.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I don't. Yeah, I just don't agree. I don't agree.
I love that, And I think a lot of people
do stuff because they have some form of body dysmorphia
in their minds that and like I I know there's
someone much younger than me who's had a lot of
work done already, and as as it sort of settles in,
it looks okay. But at first I'm like, why did
(11:01):
you do all that? Like tighten her face and put
stuff in her lips and like basically got a face left.
And I'm just like that to me, looks now your
face looks different from the rest of you. And you
looked great before, like you were the way your body
was naturally aging looked fine. Now, granted, it's not about
what I think, it's about what she thinks. But at
the same time, I don't necessarily think that we always
(11:23):
see ourselves. We don't the way that other people see us.
And so I think there is value in what other
people see, because again, you see people go and do
stuff and you're like, why did you do that to
your body?
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
It doesn't look better, you know, or like the rest
of you is a little wrinkly, and then your skin
you know, your face on your skin's like wrapped around
the back of your head, and it's like, okay, you
had a face left, like okay, now the rest of
you doesn't look the same, and then you got to
go to the rest of you. It's a slippery slope.
And I don't think a lot of people need it.
Most people don't need it. I agree. I guess got to.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Say, yeah, whatever makes them feel better, I guess.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Anyway, I arrange for you to get some spur sperm
in you. Yeah, doctor, I know, but not just any sperm,
king salmon sperm. Yeah, you can dip it, you know,
(12:21):
not too much, not too much. Yeah, yeah, it's like
it's fishy down here. No, I swear it's it's the
salmon sperm they shot me up with. And then, I
mean that would just blow my mind.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Some lube, honey.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
The things that people will do.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
I'm doing them right now as I call them.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
All right, Well, that that was your medical minute, medical minute, right,
I don't you don't need it. You don't need it, guys,
And add that to the Friend Show constitution, do not
put animal fish sperm in your vagina.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Also, a coworker of ours got you an asshole bleaching
one time?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Have you used it?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I have not, but I don't think that. Yeah, who
would buy me the gift like that?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
He would complain about ugly but ugly but hoole?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
How do you know I believe that? I believe I
have an ugly butthole. Let me see it.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Oh it's chocolate surface.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
You're gonna have to examine it too. Yeah, with your probe,
my MUSI put you back in your path. Sam right there.
I hate salmon for lunch, but that was nasty.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Are you going to use the gift card?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Do you want to get your asshole bleached?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Kind of yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Accuming at that twenty three and me too, Oh.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
God, yeah, let us use your gift.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I just don't think that a bleach is going to
save my ugly buttole. I have an ugly butthole, It's fine,
it's not ugly. No, but horn starts have good looking
button started.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Fred watches poured and he looks at the men's buttholes.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Everybody in this room watch yes.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Right, but he's he focuses, He's like, damn, these poor
these men. Male porn stars have faces, have nice buttholes.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Doesn't focus on the men's but hole.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's what I do. I freeze it, I pause it.
I assume that look at that beautiful butthole.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
No'm he's noticed, like this is how the people have
like nice symmetrical, pretty looking bottle cap buttholes, and I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I don't have that regular porn. Okay, listen whatever, you
watch me, you know sometimes to do like put his
leg up high, and you know, because he's hitting it
like from you know what I'm saying. You can't, but
you can't help but see the butthole sometimes, come on,
you've never seen in a porn where they accidentally show
the man's butthole because he's really getting in there.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
I want to be with you right here, but I
don't think I haven't seen a man's hole.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Important. I want to, like, I want to be a
good friend.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I just don't know you want to support me. I do?
I want to support me.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
I cannot tell a lie.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
I don't think i've seen a man's asshole.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Now.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
It doesn't mean I'm not open to seeing.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
One, but I just I don't think I don't have
a nice, pretty symmetrical one. I don't. I don't know why.
I just I don't you know what the Lord giveth
and the Lord take it? Okay, I can't. I got hi,
I got good hair, I got you know, I think
I'm packing. I think I think things are going well
on the front side. I just have an ugly backside,
you know, and luckily I don't really need that for much,
(15:37):
so you know, No, it's just it's fine. It's fine.
If only somebody could confirm. Jason, come here.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I got you.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Let me see.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I'm sure it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It's not.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
But anyway, snowflakes, everyone's got a different one.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Like I don't know what makes it ugly, like, what
could make it? I don't know. I don't know. It's
just not gonna go, believe it or not. It's lunch time,
so I'm gonna go eat some salmon. Sp Actually, I'm
gonna go eat some salmon. And then they saved the
sperm for you guys if you want to you know, yeah, yeah.
Now that's the craziest shit I've heard today is that
(16:17):
you think you can just inject a woman with any
sort of specimen and then out comes. It's not like
a fucking oven, Like, it's not a huge it's not
a living being oven. It's you can't just mix any
two things together and it just makes a thing.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Why they give They give heart, big hearts to humans.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
You know what I'm saying, going up that far?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I don't think it's going up that far like well
Salmich swim upstream.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
You know what I'm saying. I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I don't know what you're saying. I don't, and I
don't want to. I also choose not to know what
you're saying. So do you know that snails have feet?
I knew what you were saying with that, but no,
I learned that today too. Steve Jobs dips his feet
in the apple toilets or he did, r I P.
And snails have feet. They are your fun, fat little
bonus fun facts the tangent, and that's all I got. Well,
and we learned about fish sperm and what it can do.
(17:04):
But don't try it at home. Like you don't try
it at home. Results not guaranteed. Thanks for listening to
the tangent. This is not a medical one. No medical
advice has been given or should be followed on this tangent.
There's a disclaimer by
Quick tanshine, tan gine, Let's do it. Hit the thing,
hit the thing.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's the tangent with the bread show, giving you all
the we couldn't talk.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
About on air.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
What I I'd lug. I gotta go eat something here.
I'm getting delirious. I'm getting I've been delirious all day.
It's time a big boy needs to eat.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
What do you eat today?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I don't know. I haven't decided, but nobody cares about that.
I just I'm saying I'm hungry and I need to
You know, Okay, you care. But I'm saying if people
listening to this ship, they're not they don't care what
I'm about to go eat for breakfast or lunch or
whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Maybe they'll get the same thing you get. If they
hear like, oh, Fred's gonna get Chipotle?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh, then get Who are the people that pay me
get Duncan get sweet green? Get? Uh? Who else pays
me with food? I don't know other places? Oh these meals?
Go get yourself a these meal or pot belly.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I'll jake some breass, yes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Or Wendy's.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Get you some Wendy's.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, you got a food sponsor?
Speaker 5 (01:00):
No, But I am cooking today.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
If you want to hang around, you're cooking here.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Some of the chickens doing in the fridge.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Oh you're so noisy.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yeah, I don't even know what the chicken.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Was in the fridge. If you ever want to know
who the person is who steals your lunch out of
the fridge because they're hungry, it's this guy. Yeah, that's
the guy that would do it right there. What are
you cooking?
Speaker 5 (01:19):
I am going to make lemon pepper chicken strips chickens
just because in the air fryer for my cooking show.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Oh, I see you're gonna do it here, though, what
time is that going to be? It? Right after this?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Is it over? Is this over?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I gets hung wrap it up right now.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I mean, there's a lot of things that we don't have,
but we do have an air fryer. Yeah, so we
don't have climate control, we don't have mental health insurance,
we don't you know, make a fair wage, but but
we do have an air fryer. So there's that.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
There's some new pop tart flavors out there too.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Oh wow, and once again, no mental health insurance whatsoever.
But guys, I wanted I've been meaning to bring this
to your attention. It's been on my sheet here for
a couple of days, and it was only for the
tangent though I really there was no way to properly
do this story on the on the program. But women
are paying five hundred dollars to get salmon sperm injected
(02:19):
into their vaginas. Salmon, that's the part that concerns you.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I mean, yeah, you can get a lot of things vagina.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Why would I want to know salmon.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
To go there? What things like salmon? No, you definitely don't.
That is a stigma that we've been trying to, uh,
you know, eradicate women. Yeah, I mean we've been trying
to We've been trying to eradicate that for some time now.
So women are paying five hundred bucks to salmon sperm
injected into their vaginas to improve their sex lives. So
(02:48):
a nurse who runs a clinic in London says they
do the O shot and women are reporting stronger and
more frequent orgasms, increase natural lubrication, and greater sexual arousal.
The O shot is a non surgical treatment intended to
rejuvenate the vagina and increase sexual arousal and is alleged
(03:09):
to typically show results after about two to four sessions.
Several kinds of injections are used for the procedure, including
the patient's own blood or salmon sperm. One doctor saying
it's life changing. As people age, their skin loses elasticity,
which can lead to vaginal dryness and painful sex. So
DNA extracted from the salmon sperm has potent regenerative qualities,
(03:33):
working not on the superficial level, but sinking deeply into
the skin to work from within, encouraging cell turnover that
in turn helps firm skin and maintain its elasticity. The
purefied and sterilized salmon DNA molecules officially call I might
even try and say what this is. Poly Nucleotides, Yeah,
also have an anti inflammatory effect that essentially rejuvenates the
(03:55):
skin anywhere on the body.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Interesting shot at like salmon babies, like salm and sperm.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh my god, you can't. You can't cross pollinates.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
You know, fuck.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Because you don't want to know something. Someone somewhere has
had sex with a fish, but somewhere has tried em.
You can't just take to you can't just take two
species and mate them and they it just happens. It
doesn't work that way. It doesn't. It's no And I'm
not a scientist, but you can't know how they.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Get them dogs to look, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
These there, but they're both dogs, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I mean if salmon sperm goes in your JJ, salmon
phil doesn't come out, you don't get a philly roll,
you know, like.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Gills and skills.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
No, what God, you do you think if that weren't possible,
that people wouldn't be doing it all the time. People
are stupid.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
You have done gross it with animals and we don't
have any.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Exactly, thank you.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, but honestly, just getting some lube and some weed
as much cheaper man weed will help with your orgasms
and just luber up. I'm not putting salmon anywhere in
your I.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Do love high sex, high sexist. Yeah, yeah, it's stone stone.
I want to be spelling specify stone sex. That's the
I mean. I because a high I suppose could be
any drug. And I'm not a big heroin guy anymore, so,
I mean not as big as I once was. You know,
I've really sort of chilled that I'm a heroin use.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
But no, it's scientifically like it'll make your o's last
longer and it feels better.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, what would you say though, off the
top of your head, what is the nastiest thing that
you've done electively to yourself that you can think of?
Because I mean women, you guys have done all sorts
of things for beauty. I mean you're essentially you know,
you're was it botulism, You're essentially like injecting yourself with
botulism when you get you know, botox or whatever. Yeah,
lip fillers kind of grows.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I mean, you know, yeah, I mean I do botox,
and I would if salmon sperm made me look younger,
I would do it on my face.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
I'm just not put it in my huha.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I'm paying that. Yeah, that's not something you thought you'd say.
It work today.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I want to be young.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
You will put the spark.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
You don't put anything on my face if it'll freeze it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
All right, All right, listen.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
We're putting snail musin on our face. Musin?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
What is that? But like what nail mus?
Speaker 4 (06:23):
We're putting snail musin on our face?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
The snail trail. It's so bad. But I don't know
what it is.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
I'm going to tell you exactly what it is. I've
already put it on my face.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
But I don't really nail musin, yes, for beauty?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Is it? Is it that like sticky substance that they
leave behind you?
Speaker 4 (06:41):
It's just damn ai oh my god, extra.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Music.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But say, there's everything it does. What were you looking
at yourself in the mirror for I'm.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Just looking to make sure I don't need no snail,
semen or whatever on my musin that But yeah, I
don't know. This is nasty and the only thing I
do is what other people here. I don't know about
seemen and all that.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
You wear other people's hair. Yes, that's about the somebody
wash it.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
The snail musin is the mucus that snails secrete.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah, and they don't die because I look that up.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And you put it on your face.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, it's like the biggest thing in skincare right now.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
For example, the musin from a snail's foot helps the
snail lubricate its path and sticks.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Snails have feet. That's the most shocking part of that
story to move somehow.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, so what do you think they do?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Just like sack roll.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, I thought they're just scooting along listen, anything to
make me look young.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, I know. I don't know, Honestly, I don't. There's
just no like. I don't. I think I'm just going
to age as gracefully as as age allows me to.
I don't know, because I don't want to start chasing it,
you know what I mean. Like if I start, if
I go and freeze my face up because it's getting wrinkly,
then like then you have to keep doing it. Otherwise
(08:02):
I think you wind up looking older because you looked young,
you know what I mean. And then I don't know.
It just seems like a slippery slope of things that
you're chasing.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Luckily, men just get hotter with age.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I have one hundred percent hotter than I was ten
years ago, There's no doubt about it. And I'm hotter
than I was twenty years ago, there's no doubt about it.
And that's relative, by the way, hot to whatever you
considered hot, Ben. But I definitely look better now than
I did ten years ago, there's no doubt about it.
And I'm not doing anything about the gray. I'm not
doing anything about No. You don't have to, no cause
it's going to go totally gray, Like it's at some
(08:35):
point you're not long from now, I'll just be completely gray.
And it just did. But if I start putting like
just for man or even if I have a professionally
colored then you got to chase that. You got to
keep doing that. Otherwise I think you're only calling out
how much older you look or think you look. That's
another thing is I think that people do stuff to
their faces and they do stuff to their bodies to
(08:57):
look younger. But all you're really doing is calling out
the fact that you're chasing age, which is inevitable.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
It's just very different for women just aging in general.
There's a lot more pressure.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
And females on TV, you know, the news anchors and
stuff like.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
It's just it's a very different conversation, sadly. But yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Telling you you age however you age, and.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I like, well, I love that. I wish you spoke
for everyone I do, but you don't.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I have the voice of Chicago.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
You are.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm the voice of a generation. Yeah, I wish.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I wish that I.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Say a lot of things that people should Most of
what comes out of my mouth, people should be listening
very carefully to.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I mean like I'm thirty two and just got told
I have the bottom half of my body looks like
a seventy year old.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I've been told I am saggy knees.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
I've been told, I mean, it is crazy out here.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Some ass one, asshole comment or said that, no people come.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
For my knees all the time. I never was self
conscious about my knees.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
There's nothing wrong with your name. Help that I.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Put stuff on my knees. They didn't make me so
conscious about my damn knees. You know it's you know,
times are tough out here, but you want some snail music.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
No, I'm just, I just there's nothing wrong with your knees.
There's nothing, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong, nothing wrong
with it with it, your bottom half, your top half,
both half, the whole thing together as one.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
You never wanted to call me Grandma Bottoms, Grandma bott It's.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Funny how I refer to you now behind your back.
That's all I've called you for years, but but no,
never to your face. Absolutely Grandma bottom.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
That's one of the hashtags.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Granny patties over here.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Miss Grandma Bottoms. To you if you nasty.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I don't. Yeah, I just don't agree. I don't agree.
I love that, And I think a lot of people
do stuff because they have some form of body dysmorphia
in their minds that and like I I know there's
someone much younger than me who's had a lot of
work done already, and as as it sort of settles in,
it looks okay. But at first I'm like, why did
(11:01):
you do all that? Like tighten her face and put
stuff in her lips and like basically got a face left.
And I'm just like that to me, looks now your
face looks different from the rest of you. And you
looked great before, like you were the way your body
was naturally aging looked fine. Now, granted, it's not about
what I think, it's about what she thinks. But at
the same time, I don't necessarily think that we always
(11:23):
see ourselves. We don't the way that other people see us.
And so I think there is value in what other
people see, because again, you see people go and do
stuff and you're like, why did you do that to
your body?
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
It doesn't look better, you know, or like the rest
of you is a little wrinkly, and then your skin
you know, your face on your skin's like wrapped around
the back of your head, and it's like, okay, you
had a face left, like okay, now the rest of
you doesn't look the same, and then you got to
go to the rest of you. It's a slippery slope.
And I don't think a lot of people need it.
Most people don't need it. I agree. I guess got to.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Say, yeah, whatever makes them feel better, I guess.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Anyway, I arrange for you to get some spur sperm
in you. Yeah, doctor, I know, but not just any sperm,
king salmon sperm. Yeah, you can dip it, you know,
(12:21):
not too much, not too much. Yeah, yeah, it's like
it's fishy down here. No, I swear it's it's the
salmon sperm they shot me up with. And then, I
mean that would just blow my mind.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Some lube, honey.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
The things that people will do.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
I'm doing them right now as I call them.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
All right, Well, that that was your medical minute, medical minute, right,
I don't you don't need it. You don't need it, guys,
And add that to the Friend Show constitution, do not
put animal fish sperm in your vagina.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Also, a coworker of ours got you an asshole bleaching
one time?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Have you used it?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I have not, but I don't think that. Yeah, who
would buy me the gift like that?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
He would complain about ugly but ugly but hoole?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
How do you know I believe that? I believe I
have an ugly butthole. Let me see it.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Oh it's chocolate surface.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
You're gonna have to examine it too. Yeah, with your probe,
my MUSI put you back in your path. Sam right there.
I hate salmon for lunch, but that was nasty.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Are you going to use the gift card?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Do you want to get your asshole bleached?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Kind of yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Accuming at that twenty three and me too, Oh.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
God, yeah, let us use your gift.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I just don't think that a bleach is going to
save my ugly buttole. I have an ugly butthole, It's fine,
it's not ugly. No, but horn starts have good looking
button started.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Fred watches poured and he looks at the men's buttholes.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Everybody in this room watch yes.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Right, but he's he focuses, He's like, damn, these poor
these men. Male porn stars have faces, have nice buttholes.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Doesn't focus on the men's but hole.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's what I do. I freeze it, I pause it.
I assume that look at that beautiful butthole.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
No'm he's noticed, like this is how the people have
like nice symmetrical, pretty looking bottle cap buttholes, and I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I don't have that regular porn. Okay, listen whatever, you
watch me, you know sometimes to do like put his
leg up high, and you know, because he's hitting it
like from you know what I'm saying. You can't, but
you can't help but see the butthole sometimes, come on,
you've never seen in a porn where they accidentally show
the man's butthole because he's really getting in there.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
I want to be with you right here, but I
don't think I haven't seen a man's hole.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Important. I want to, like, I want to be a
good friend.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I just don't know you want to support me. I do?
I want to support me.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
I cannot tell a lie.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
I don't think i've seen a man's asshole.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Now.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
It doesn't mean I'm not open to seeing.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
One, but I just I don't think I don't have
a nice, pretty symmetrical one. I don't. I don't know why.
I just I don't you know what the Lord giveth
and the Lord take it? Okay, I can't. I got hi,
I got good hair, I got you know, I think
I'm packing. I think I think things are going well
on the front side. I just have an ugly backside,
you know, and luckily I don't really need that for much,
(15:37):
so you know, No, it's just it's fine. It's fine.
If only somebody could confirm. Jason, come here.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I got you.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Let me see.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I'm sure it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It's not.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
But anyway, snowflakes, everyone's got a different one.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Like I don't know what makes it ugly, like, what
could make it? I don't know. I don't know. It's
just not gonna go, believe it or not. It's lunch time,
so I'm gonna go eat some salmon. Sp Actually, I'm
gonna go eat some salmon. And then they saved the
sperm for you guys if you want to you know, yeah, yeah.
Now that's the craziest shit I've heard today is that
(16:17):
you think you can just inject a woman with any
sort of specimen and then out comes. It's not like
a fucking oven, Like, it's not a huge it's not
a living being oven. It's you can't just mix any
two things together and it just makes a thing.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Why they give They give heart, big hearts to humans.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
You know what I'm saying, going up that far?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I don't think it's going up that far like well
Salmich swim upstream.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
You know what I'm saying. I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I don't know what you're saying. I don't, and I
don't want to. I also choose not to know what
you're saying. So do you know that snails have feet?
I knew what you were saying with that, but no,
I learned that today too. Steve Jobs dips his feet
in the apple toilets or he did, r I P.
And snails have feet. They are your fun, fat little
bonus fun facts the tangent, and that's all I got. Well,
and we learned about fish sperm and what it can do.
(17:04):
But don't try it at home. Like you don't try
it at home. Results not guaranteed. Thanks for listening to
the tangent. This is not a medical one. No medical
advice has been given or should be followed on this tangent.
There's a disclaimer by
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