December 18, 2023 • 50 mins
Granger Smith Podcast Episode 219: Join me as I discuss this topic and more on this week's podcast!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth,
or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning, the sun
will rise all right back on the podcast. Welcome everybody,
(00:23):
favorite guest.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Ever you say that to everybody?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I don't have any guests on here? Can you tell
my voices bad?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
It's on the It's on the way back up. Yesterday,
I've been hitting it hard doing a lot of radio,
and on top of that, I got into all this
allergy stuff as I was traveling to wherever I was,
Florida and then Kentucky. And as I'm traveling and doing
(00:53):
more and more radio, my voice was just like declining.
And so I was trying to load up all these
Chrismus after midnights and I was like, oh good, after midnight.
I was like, Jeed, gummit, welcome after dad, gomm stop
it rewind it, welcome to after midnight.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I'm bring dude. It was. It was crushing me, but
I got it. I got it.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
And and now what you hear now is on the
it's on It's on the way up.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
You were saying yesterday how you were coughing a lot,
and in all the years that we've been married, and
all your years of touring and doing music, you like,
never coughed. He would purposely make himself not cough. I
don't know how he did it, but you would do
all these kinds of tricks to make yourself not cough
because you didn't want it to mess up your voice.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
So, yeah, it's interesting because I don't care as much
about my voice. I preached twice this week, and uh,
the first time I preached, you know, I didn't have
much of a voice at all, but it was fine.
I get to still get the point across. I couldn't sing. Yeah,
So thankfully I don't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah,
we answer your questions on this podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
That's what we do.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And I have a limited number of guests each week,
and this is my favorite one, my wife Amber. If
you want your question answered, email Granger at Excuse Me
podcast at grangersmith dot com. Not only is my voice
going out, but so is my brain podcast at grangersmith
dot com.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
You're not busy or anything. You don't have a lot
on your plate at all.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I have so much on my plate, but I love
it all. No, I know you do I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
That's why we have to give you grace for your
brain not working one hundred percent all the time.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I think the messages went well this week too, even
though my brain was it's not great. I think I
think the messages, I think they went.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Well over well.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I can't wait to see them. I always read them.
He always sends them to me to read. But a
lot of the times I can't be there in person
with you, so I can't. I always like to wait
and watch the videos whenever they come out.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
First question comes from Olivia. It says, Hey, Granger, just
wanted to start off by saying that I really love
your podcast and your music. You really inspire me with
everything that you've ever done. I'm seventeen, I'm a Mennonite girl,
and I'm very curious what you think about the head
covering in one Corinthians eleven, which says, but every woman
that prayeth orphthought, prophesiath with her head uncovered, dishonor dishonorreth
(03:20):
her head reading the King James.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I have grown up.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
In a Minnite church, and I was always taught modesty
and headcovering. Some people think that Anabaptists are very legalistic,
but most of the people around me are strong Christians
and they want to follow the Bible with all their heart.
I'm a firm believer, and I hope that you don't
think I'm basing my faith on these things.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
But I want to serve the Lord fully.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I know that modesty is something that's very important, but
I'm questioning how important the head covering is. What are
your thoughts on this. I'm so glad you emailed, Olivia.
I love our men, and I questions and Marv, if
(04:06):
you're listening, I'm sending you. I'm sending you this one.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Buddy.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Marv is a Marv is a dear, dear brother, and
we talk. I mean, Marv, what do you say he
listens to this podcast. We talk every other day. I
mean we talk quite a bit. He is wise counsel
for me. He is a friend to me. He's someone
(04:29):
I can message to grab a prayer request from. And
he's also a Mennonite pastor in South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
You met Marv?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, yeah, great family, and so because of my lack
of understanding of the Mennonite culture, I typically I'll.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Consult Marv on this stuff. All the time.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Marvel also knows a lot about the Amish, and so
Marvis is is a reborn Christian brother also pastor, and
he also has a cultivated love for the heritage of.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
The Mennonite people.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So it's what I'm saying is he didn't like leave
the Midnite church and become a pastor somewhere else. He's
still a Mennonite pastor, but his eyes are open. And
I can't say enough how much I love this guy.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Actually met him, you know, I met him. I met
him through this podcast.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
He emailed the podcast, and I emailed him back, and
we became friends. His question was meant way off topic here.
His question to me was something like, what are you
gonna do with Earl Dibbles Junior? Now that you're reborn?
And there was something about it. People ask that kind
(05:53):
of thing all the time, but there was something about
this particular time. I was drawn to his words. I
was drawn to the email. Not that he said anything
profound about that, but I was drawn to it. And
I just replied, and then he replied, and I've replied,
Then he replied. Then I gave him my number. Then
he called me, and then we talked for a long
time and then we just became friends. Yeah, so Amber,
your thoughts. I know that you've studied this, and you
(06:14):
have a lot of thoughts on first Corintheen's eleven have
I I mean, I'm sure you have more than me.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I mean, I kind of have got this question a
lot too, but I have never I have never answered
it because I feel like I have more study to do.
I know that there were some things that were you
would do back in the culture. I do believe in modesty.
I believe that you know, of course, we're called to
be modest as Christians, and I've in my walk with
the Lord, I've changed certain things about my dress and
(06:40):
certain things that I put out there. As far as
the head covering goes, I think it was R. C.
Sprull who said he's like one of the only ones
of the pastors that we kind of study who says
he still believes that women should have head coverings. I
believe it's him. We'll have to have to fact check
me on this, but I mean, obviously, in today's culture,
nobody none of the women cover their heads, really are
(07:03):
There are there specific denominations who still do.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I feel like the Amish in the mid night.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Okay, I feel like I still have to do more
study of Andecostals to Okay, I feel like I still
need to do more study on this. Yes, I don't
know if this is one of those things that was
in the culture then and doesn't apply now.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
What's happening here is this is a beautiful thing because
ant Man is now producing the podcast, so now he
puts these questions in.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, so it's like.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Hey, question number one, deal with this, you know, that's
that's kind of what he's doing. And so let look,
I think what both of us, both of us are
saying Olivia, is something that's very important for a Christian
to put in their arsenal.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, here's what I do know. Though what I do
know is more important than what I don't know when
it comes to the gospel, because what I do know
is this is not a matter of salvation.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
This is this is.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Not a matter of you earning any extra favor with God.
It is a matter of obedience, and we want to
be We desire to be as obedient as possible. I
think I walk through this in similar occasions on this podcast,
with things like alcohol, someone that's like, hey, man, I
don't I think I should cut out drinking. And I
(08:20):
know it's not a sin to actually take a sip
of alcohol, it's a sin to get drunk. But now
I'm thinking, and I'm like, hey, that that is your
I think that's a good view of your sanctification. Me
and Amber both I'm a seminarian at Southern Baptist and
I can't drink.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
People ask me that.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
They say, hey, now that you're at Southern, you're enrolled
at Southern, and you can't drink. Is that offensive to you?
Do you think that's legalistic?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I kind of like that question. I'm like, no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I think it's I think it's responsible. I think it's
responsible for Southern to require that of their students. And
they're not saying it's biblical that you have to and
they're not saying that this is your salvation depends on it.
They're saying, hey, if you want to be as obedient
as possible and stay away from any kind of temptation,
then we highly encourage, in fact require you.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
To not drink.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I think that's a good way to test yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And so, so, Olivia, here's a couple things here's a
couple more things. If you feel, if you feel the
pool the which is sanctification, if you feel the need
to cover your head because of the conviction, because of
First Grinthians eleven, then I would.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Say do it.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
The second thing is but but don't do it as
a it's an obligation. Do it instead as an offering.
And then here's the other thing. Paul's going to talk
about how he will be like others so that he
could win them. Perhaps, so you're in a Mennonite church
(09:58):
where a lot of girls are covering their head, I
don't think it would be wise for you to walk
in one day without a head covering and go. You know,
I just don't think I think that's a little legalistic.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
I think that can.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Cause unnecessary disruption. I think it's a healthy conversation outside
the church building. But on a Sunday morning, I don't
think that. I don't think that helps anybody with anything.
I think it's a great conversation to have with girls
later about hey, you know, this is not dependent on salvation.
Depend Salvation is not dependent upon this. And that's just
(10:33):
the tip of the iceberg. With a lot of different
denominations in what they require, what they need.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I love that you said that it's okay for us,
as we're growing in our sanctification and growing in our
wisdom and knowledge of the scriptures, to say that we
don't know because we're still searching, we're still learning, and
there are a couple there are a few things obviously
that we don't know and we might need to seek
wise counsel about that. So I would just encourage her
to seek more wise counsel and just do more study.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, I don't know, and no one really does. No
one knows this issue on one Corinthians eleven, So let's
kick it around. It's a great discussion, and I'm really
glad you asked it.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
It's another one.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
This comes from Blake. Hey Grainger, my name's Blake. I'm
eighteen from California, and I love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
My question is.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
How do I, or how should I improve my relationship
with my mom. My parents have been divorced for sixteen years.
Three years ago, my mom met a new guy. She
ended up marrying him after a few months and moving
us while I was in high school for no reason
other than because this new guy wanted to move near
(11:38):
the beach. This along with him yelling at me, constantly
accusing me of things I haven't done. Making my mom
an alcoholic and constantly crossing the line has caused me
to build up resentments against my mom for allowing these
things to happen. Given that my dad was an alcoholic
and had a DUI, it's hard to see my mom
(12:00):
go through similar battles because of her new husband. Prior
to this guy, she drank once or twice a month.
Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or
am I just wasting my time due to her actions
telling me that she doesn't prioritize her relationship with me?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Thanks Blake, he's eighteen eighteen.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Did he say at the very end there that she
tells him she's not prioritizing a relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or
am I just wasting my time due to her actions?
Telling her actions?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Telling me?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Okay, so his question is how do I build or
improve my relationship with my mom?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I'm going to say the first thing to do is
don't give up on praying. And I mean, you are
technically an adult now and you can't control what your
mom does, but you can control your response to it,
and I would continue to pray, and just you know,
the Bible tells us to put away anger and resentment
(13:02):
and all those things, and that's hard to do in
our flesh, so we cannot do that apart from the
Holy Spirit. So first I would say, develop your relationship
with the Lord and continue to pray. But then also
just go to her honestly and just say you're worried
about her, and you love her and you want to
see her in a good place, and you don't want
to see her, you know, in pain or sick or
(13:24):
drinking all the time. It's a hard situation to be
in because you do care about your mom, but she's
also you know, she probably thinks, well, I've raised my son,
now it's time for me to have my life with
this new husband or boyfriend or it's tricky. It's tricky.
I would just be in constant prayer. In constant prayer.
(13:46):
You have to do that in slow now, bless you.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
That's the smith. You know, like.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
This if you were fifteen, fourteen, twelve, I'd have probably
a different answer at eighteen. If you want to, I'm
gonna go buy your question. I'm gonna dissect your question,
because your question is not how do I heal my mom?
How do I help my mom? How do I tell
my mom that this guy's bad for her? That's not
your question. Your question is how should I improve my
(14:18):
relationship with my mom? And so I'm going to just
go with that. I'm gonna go with your question and
not try to dig any deeper. I think that's fair enough.
You want to improve your relationship with your mom, lover,
forgive her, give her grace. See from her perspective, she
(14:39):
has fallen twice now for an alcoholic. It's easy to
see why she's drinking more because she's around an alcoholic.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
He's an alcoholic, right, this guy, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Easy to It's like it's easy to become a smoker
when you live in with a smoker. So that's understandable.
So see that from her perspective, See that she is
probably hurting through all this. She probably misses you, loves you.
My suggestion to improve the relationship is to love her,
(15:09):
have grace for her, forgive her. And it doesn't mean
you need to trust her or trust this new guy,
or it doesn't mean you have to be happy that
she moved, because those are real feelings that you're really experiencing.
So instead tell her, Mom, I love you. I genuinely
want what's best for you. You know, I don't particularly
(15:31):
care for this new guy, but I do want you
to be happy, and I want to be someone you
can come to to get advice, someone you could you
could lean on. You could trust me, Mom, because I
love you and I always will regardless of what you do,
regardless of what you do with this guy. I love
you and I genuinely want the best for you.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And also I forgive you.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I know that I've been grumpy, I've been sharp and
mean lately telling you my opinions about moving and telling
you what I think about this new guy, and I
don't ever want to hurt you, and I just want
to say I'm sorry and I forgive you. That's a
really good place to start to improve a relationship you.
You got all kinds of green grass to run in
(16:17):
after that, but you start with that, with that stance
of humility, I think you're gonna be in a much
better place to build something positive with your mom. Next
question comes from anonymous and it says, Hey, Granger, I
lost my husband and recently started dating I've been on
a few dates, and each of them expected to sleep
(16:38):
with me. On the first date. I was in shock.
One of them even said, come on, we.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Are adults here, we could do what we.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Want, which I didn't disagree on this point. I said, exactly,
and I am not sleeping with you now and probably never.
But I didn't want to sleep with a man that
I barely knew, needless to say, he was history.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Recently, I met a man that I may end up
wanting to sleep with.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I care about him enough to start a serious relationship with.
Does the Bible speak about a widow and sex? This
man respects my decision to wait until I'm ready. I'm
after a serious relationship. I do not plan to just
go on a date from now on. Tell me whether
the Bible speaks on this or not? And what are
(17:29):
your thoughts on this? And your wife too? Oh you
happen to be here in Christian love? Anonymous? All right, Anonymous,
let's dig in this is This is very, very, very easy,
and it doesn't make it a bad question. It's a
(17:50):
great question. I'm glad you asked, but it's very easy.
The answer is no, You're not going to be condoned,
whether a widow or whether you're just single outside of
marriage to be in a sexual relationship.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
What do I say after that? I wonder, I wonder
if you are a Christian? Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
It's hard for me to take this out of context
and think and just assume that you are a Christian
or that maybe you're a cultural Christian and you're just
kind of going by the book, like, Hey, what boxes
do I need to check? I'm a Christian because that's
the way I grew up. What boxes am I checking again?
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Granger? Will you remind me what the Bible says?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
When in fact I would so encourage you to see
for yourself.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Yeah, to go and see.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
And this is probably a good time for me to
tell you the gospel because, and maybe this goes with
the head covering conversation as well, that all of us
are sinners. We have all fallen short of the glory
of God. Our own conscience testifies to that that we
(19:14):
have messed up, that we have fallen short in all
different ways, all of us in different ways. But all
of us are rebels, enemies of God, really a perfect
holy God. We have turned our back on him. We
have gone our own way.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
We've said.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
You know what, I'm going to decide what I do,
and I might go check and see what that old
Bible says, or may ask this podcast, But really, in general,
I'm going to do what I want because you know why,
like the email says, because I'm an adult and I
do what I want, not what some God tells me
to do. Granger, that's not what you said, but that's
the implication. God knowing this, knowing that everyone had rebelled
(19:55):
against him, all all of us have fallen short. There
is no one good, no, not even one, thus says
the Bible, as if I was Billy Graham. Knowing this,
God enters his own creation as a man living the
perfect life, fulfilling the law perfectly, whether it's a head covering,
(20:17):
or whether it's alcohol, or whether it's premarital or widow sex,
all of the law. He fulfilled it perfectly, sinless, perfection
in a way that no one that's ever walked on
this earth ever has. And you know what we did
when we knew that, we killed him for it. I
say we talking about humanity. He went to the cross,
(20:39):
as predestined, as perfectly planned, so that upon that cross
he took on the sin, the punishment that we deserved
as sinners, to be in the presence of a holy God.
To be reconciled and brought to God, the Bible says,
would require perfection. We didn't have it. Someone's got to
get punished for that. Jesus took on that pun himself
(21:00):
and says, anyone that turns from themselves, that turns away
from this sin, turns to me.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Will have eternal life.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Three days later, he was raised from the grid from
the grave, proving his divinity, proving that the sacrifice that.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
He gave to God was worthy.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Anyone that believes that looks to him, turns from their
old self and turns to him will be saved.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Through that salvation.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
You start feeling the sanctification, and you're gonna start feeling
some things. You're gonna have a craving to read God's word,
You're gonna have a craving to be around God's people,
and you're gonna have a craving to walk in obedience,
which could mean a head covering, it could mean staying
away from alcohol. Like the last email or this one,
I'm gonna not have sex until I'm married.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I agree, I don't think I need to add any
more to that.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Next question comes from Anna, Hey, Grander, love your podcast
and that you're unashamed of the gospel, and I just
want to thank you and ever for helping me grow
closer to Jesus. I to quickly respond to that, I
am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the
power of God into salvation. Second paragraph here says I'd
(22:15):
also known and liked your music, but I stumbled across
your channel in May of twenty twenty one, and now
I watch Dismiss all the time and rise with Hamber.
I know that God brought me to your channel to
bring me closer to Him because of what I'm going
through now. I lost my uncle in December of twenty
two to a sudden heart attack. I'm still in shock
(22:36):
and my family is hurting so much. I just can't
believe he's gone. On top of this, I'm single and
I've never felt more alone in my life. I'm reading
my Bible every day and praying, but I still feel stuck.
Do you have any suggestions on how to get through this?
Thanks so much, Annah, I'll let you go with this.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Did she say how long?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
As she said December twenty two, so it's been a year.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I think everything that you're feeling is okay, and there's
no real timeline of grief. Now, you don't want to
pitch a tent and stay there. You know you're saying
that you're feeling stuck. I think it's natural and normal
to feel alone and scared and angry and full of
sadness and grief for somebody that you love. And I
(23:20):
pray that he was a Christian. I pray that he
is with the Lord now, and when we are in
Christ we go from life to life. There is there
is no death. And I think you're doing everything that
you need to be doing by reading your word, continually praying,
and just be patient and know that God is working
even when you don't feel it, and even when you
(23:42):
don't see it. Just because you don't feel him doesn't
mean that that he's not there, that he's not moving,
that he's not working. So don't be so hard on yourself.
Give yourself grace.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
It's like you said, if this was five years from
now or ten years from now, I would say something different.
But this is still really fresh and everyone is still
hurting and still grieving. So I would just tell you
to continue to I don't know if you're plugged into
a local church, but if you're feeling lonely, I would
say to get plugged into a local church and have
the body of believers surround you and walk with you
through this grief and just continue to be in your word,
(24:15):
like you say that you're doing right now.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I don't think I have anything to add to that
as well.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Does she ask any other questions or just she feels stuck.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
She feels stuck, and like you said, it's very normal. Yeah,
I hear you. The thing I'll tell you too, Anna,
is that it's been one year now. You should see
in this year two a significant improvement. Yeah, Because what's
part of what's making this tough is your family. Your
(24:48):
family's hurting so much, and so when you start to
your spirits starting to lift a little bit, you're starting
to feel a little bit better, and then you go
to your aunt's house and everyone's crying.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
It's like.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
It reminds you of the reality that you're in. That
we live in a fallen world where there is death
and mortality very evident to us. And so I think
that's part of what's going on is it's not just
you because you said, I'm in shock and my family
is hurting so much.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I just can't believe he's gone.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And there's also gonna be a lot more of this
coming up in your life, not just your uncle, It's
coming to everyone. You're doing the right things, You're seeking
the right counsel. But that use this also as a
(25:41):
it's a good magnifier that there is an end on
this earth for everyone. What are you gonna do with that?
What are you gonna do with the time you have now?
Who are you gonna tell the gospel to now before
their time is up, before a sudden heart attack hits
like it did my dad.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah, and think about the time that we're coming into,
you know, the Christmas season, the Advent season. This is
the perfect time. You just shared the gospel like this
is what God came to do, was to save us
and to bring us into right relationship with Him and
for us to someday be on the new Heaven and
the new Earth. This gives us hope. You can grieve
with hope. If you're in your Bible, you should be
able to be grieving with hope. And I would say
(26:22):
it looks it's going to be a year. I guess
right now at December to December, I would say, go
out and do something special in remembrance of him on
that day. That's what we try to do for River
or Granger's dad, is just to remember them in a
special way and go do something for somebody else. When
you take the focus off of yourself and go help
somebody else, it helps to give you purpose through that pain.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Best question comes from Jay and it says, hey, Grangdeer
recently discovered your podcast and your music and has changed
my life. I'm seventeen, my name is Jay. Just wanted
us to get your opinion on tattoos. I know you
have some, but my dad thinks that it mars your
body and God created in a specific way and to
change it permanently is against his will.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
I want you.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
I want to get one myself when I turn of age.
But what about tattoos of God or Christ? If they
show someone's love for God? If they show someone's love
for God, is it bad to have Any thoughts on
this would be much appreciated. Also, could you tell me
what the meaning of the barbarier tattoo on your arm?
And why you say you say us all the way around.
(27:29):
Thanks love you man and everything you're doing.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Thank you Jay.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
The first thing is that barboarer tattoos fake. It's from
a sharpie.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
We used to draw it on before every show, and
now you just kind of you just didn't care anymore.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
It's part of the it's part of the humor of
Earl when we first created him that he would that
It's like, there's a you think of getting a barbarer
two tattoo would hurt because it goes kind of under
the armpit, goes all the way around, and so there
would be guys according to Earl. In my mind, Earle
would think that maybe a city boy would get a
(28:03):
tattoo of a barbed wire, but he would stop right
under the armpit where it actually hurt. And so Earle saying,
mine goes all the way around, because I don't care
about the pain.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Of course it goes all the way around.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
It's like Earl is always having an argument with himself
to a hypothetical city boy accusation, like does it go
all the way around, Earl, even where it hurts in
the soft part of your armpit.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Of course it goes all the way around.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
You know what I'm doing after midnight, and I'm Earl
when I have this voice, it's very difficult.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
I'm earld devil's chine. It doesn't do it. It doesn't
do it.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Jay, let me jump in on your question here, and
Amber could jump in as well. This is interesting. I'm
not sure if ant Man put these together on purpose
for a little theme. But now we're talking about head coverings,
extramarital sex, and now Tatto who's This is the episode
of obedience for sure, and obedience versus legalism moralism. So
(29:11):
let me dissect your question.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
The first thing I want to say is your dad
thinks that it mars your body, and God created it
the body in a specific way, and to change it
permanently is against his will.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Half truth.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, it's interesting God's will as we pray, like Jesus
taught us, your will be done on earth as it
is in heaven, meaning your will is.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Going to be done.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
We pray for it to be done, and we praise
you that it will be done. There is nothing changing that.
So to say that you change your body is against
or going against his will. That's a harsh way of
saying it to say, it would be better to say,
does it displease him? Marring my does marring my body
(30:08):
displease a Holy God? I think that would be a
better way to say it. And once again here we go,
similar to head coverings. This is going to be something
that you are going to You can go to Leviticus
for this, but you're not gonna see much more after
that in the New Testament. You're gonna need to stick
(30:30):
with your sanctification. You need You're gonna need to stick
with what you you are feeling as you are going
through your own quiet time. If I was going to
give you an opinion, I would say, brother, don't don't
get any That would be my what my ask to you.
I wouldn't do it now. If I was going to
(30:52):
start all over as a reborn Christian, I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Not because of legalism, not because of waralism. But why
would I risk that? Why would I risk displeasing God?
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
It's like you said, it's was spoken about in Leviticus
and not really in the New Testament, And so back
then it was seen, as you know, the pagan kind
of people would tattoo their body and mar their body
up with their gods, and so it was. It was forbidden,
and it's not.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
And I'll just jump in to it. In addition to that,
the levitical laws, the Mosaic law itself was a separation
be holy. They wanted God wanted the Israelites his people
to be holy. To better define what that means. It means,
be separate. Don't be like the world. We're gonna set you.
(31:50):
I want to set you apart. Don't be like them.
Don't eat what they eat, don't wear what they wear,
don't worship the way they worship. Don't tattoo your bodies
like they tattooed their bodies. You are holy just like
I am holy. I want you to be holy. Set apart.
And there are certain things that they're doing that mark them,
like those men they have long hair, those women that
(32:12):
have short hair. There's certain things they're doing that setting
it's making them worldly. Don't do those things. We are
now outside of that covenant. We are now part of
the new covenant. That crisis fulfilled the law, all of it,
every dot and iota of it, so we don't look
(32:33):
at it as breaking a law. When it comes to
the ceremonial slash civil laws of the time. We do
absolutely still respect and keep and live by the moral
version of the law, and so keep that in mind
(32:55):
when you're thinking about all of the many rules and.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Lividic gets go ahead.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
And I don't think getting a tattoo now would be sin. Obviously,
if you're putting some sort of sorcery type thing on
your body, then yes, But I don't think getting across
on your body would be seen as sin. If you're
doing something that reminds you of your love for the Lord,
I don't think, based on the New Testament, that would
be sin. Like Granger said, Jesus came to fulfill the law,
(33:20):
were not held under that law anymore. But I do
think if you're wrestling with it and thinking about it
and you're not quite at peace about it, just wait,
just don't do it yet. I will tell you every
tattoo that I've gotten I regret. You know, I wasn't
a Christian. They don't mean anything. They're just ridiculous, and
they're on my body now unless I get them removed forever.
(33:40):
But I also did get across when I got baptized
and I got a little lightning bolt for river, and
I don't think that was sin in doing that. I
think you should, like Granger said, listen to your own
conviction about it. You're going through your own sanctification process.
But I don't think like your dad said, it's against
God's will. However, I will say, are our bodies are
(34:01):
a temple of the Holy Spirit, and so that could
be something that you're wrestling with as well. So listen
to your own conviction about that.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, that's why I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Just don't do it. Yeah, if you're if you're not ready,
and you're not.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
If you decide to do it, don't get it. You said,
what about tattoos of God or Christ?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Don't do that. Do not get a tattoo of Christ on.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
You like a I think I don't think you meant
like a photo of Jesus.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I think he did.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Okay, I was thinking like a cross or something.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Don't do that. That would be breaking a commandment as well.
Show today is brought to you, guys by better help
with all of these deep topics that we get into.
There is always a consideration that therapy can be very helpful.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
I've said this many times.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I'm not a therapist, but sometimes the questions I get
on this podcast require some kind of therapy in terms
of someone professional listening to you, so that you could
walk through your issues with someone that's trained and actually
educated in order to help direct you towards a path
of feeling better. Certainly, when Amber and I went through
(35:05):
our most traumatic experience, therapy was very helpful. Now you
might be thinking, well, that's good for you, Granger, but
therapy is not for me. I'm not into walking into
some place and laying down on a green couch and
telling somebody my problems. Well, right now, I want to
introduce you to betterhelp dot com and this is a
great time of year to either treat yourself or someone
(35:26):
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You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched
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(35:46):
give yourself what you need with better Help, visit betterhelp
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slash Granger Also, if you're thinking about getting somebody gift
that maybe has everything, how about a gift of cameo.
You can go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith
(36:06):
and you could book me for a video message saying
anything you want right now this time a season, it's
easy for me to say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, a
word of encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary, whatever it might be.
And you could do that last minute for a Christmas present,
that's last minute. You could go to cameo dot com
slash Granger Smith or download the cameo app and search
(36:30):
for me Granger Smith.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
It's super easy.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It comes up on my phone and I get your
message and send the customized message. It comes back to
you from me, and then you send it to whoever
you want. Give someone a Christmas gift of a cameo
once again, that's cameo dot com slash Granger Smith.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
People always think that Christmas is such a joyful time,
and it is because we have what Christ did for
us and we look forward, you know, to remembering his
birth and what he came to do. And we look
forward to his return. But for most it's the most
wonderful time of the year, or some other people it's not.
They're sad and lonely or grieving.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
What do you tell someone that's looking at this holiday
season right now and they were missing somebody at their
at the dinner table, or maybe they were alone. Actually
I can't imagine. There's all kinds of scenarios. Maybe a
widow that lost her husband and this is the first
Christmas she has a house alone to herself.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
How do you speak to that?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I would say, if they're listening to this the next day,
I would say, congratulations, you made it through that day,
and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had
to go through that. But the sun rose again, and
you know, like the scripture says, weeping may terry for
the night, but joy comes in the morning. And I
pray that with God's God gives you new morning mercies
every single day, and that you can wake up to
(37:46):
this new day and know I made it through yesterday,
I did it. I can do it again, and just
keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
The movie Castaway Tom Hanks not a Christian movie, but
do you remember at the very end when he's talking
to Kelly and he's explaining that he almost killed himself
on that island after three years. I think the story.
I love that movie, and he's talking about it and
(38:16):
he was getting ready to give up, and he was like, but.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
The sun still rises. And one day the tide brought
me a sail. It was a port of body.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
And I say that to anyone too, that I think
that's beautiful that you said that the sun still rises.
And the only way to know that it does is
to get up the next morning and open your curtains
and make your bed, and brush your teeth and put
on some clothes and look out at the sky. And God,
(38:52):
you were consistently putting us with a new day. The
earth rotated again, and there's the sun so consistent, never
misses morning, never misses. Yeah, that sounds so trite, so
stupid almost to say it that way. But if we
think about God, one of the most beautiful things about
(39:14):
God's creation is the consistency that he put us in.
We could rely that tomorrow. We know tomorrow the sun
will come up, and there is so much peace.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
In that consistency.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth,
or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
The sun will rise.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Until he commands that it doesn't. He has it in
a loop right now. He has earth in a loop
until he tells it to stop. That is a crazy thought.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Yeah. And so also to that point, are you right
with the Lord? Because it's going to come like a
thief in the night when he tells it to stop.
So are you right? Are you right with Jesus? Did
you listen to the gospel that Granger just shared? Do
you know where you're going when that sun doesn't come
up again?
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (40:09):
And to the to the people that are in a
community that are missing someone that maybe this is a
really hard holiday season. They maybe they took a vacation
from Christmas and left the house and they're off somewhere
else right now. And maybe listening to this podcast, Amber
and I could both tell you that Christmas will be
(40:29):
what it used to be again. You have a tendency
sometimes to think, well, not only did I lose my
loved one, but I also lost Christmas.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I also lost Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
And because I lost my loved one, now I also
don't get to celebrate my favorite holiday, and that now
my childhood's gone. So not only did I lose my
loved one, but I have erased the joy of my childhood.
What now we have a tendency like our brain starts
doing weird.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Tricks like that.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yeah, and then you have to kind of put put
our feelings on top of the authority of what we
know and go.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
No, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
The sun will rise. Well, we will move forward. We
will have a normal Christmas again. We will feel joy
on Christmas morning again.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
That's a promise.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, we still have a question left on this episode.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
We should ask it from Biff. I love that name.
If yes, you know I love back to the future.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Hey, Granger, been listening to the pod for a long
time and I really do enjoy what I've heard. So
my wife and I are in a hard place in
our lives. We've decided to separate and go back to
just dating each other to hopefully get back to a
happy life with each other. I've put everything in God's hands.
I pray about it every day. I'm scared to death
(41:59):
my wife is going to want to divorce me in
the end. Our pastor has told us we need to
talk to other people. My wife is definitely doing that,
but I can't bring myself to it. I love her
so much. I'm working on myself, trying to be better
for myself and my wife. We've spent the weekend together
and I got extremely jealous of her talking to another guy.
(42:20):
She says that he's just a friend, and he told
me to look at who she chose to spend the
weekend with, but Granger, It's hard. I got so jealous
when we ended up fighting about it. Some advice is
greatly appreciated. Sincerely, A Western a West Texas A West.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Texan named Biff.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Yeah, Biff Man, thank you for emailing. I'm so sorry
that you're going through this. I see this play out
with people often.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Say that first I see this play out, and where
I see the mistakes happening is win, Biff. You cannot
hold back your anger? Are your jealousy? Are your obsessiveness?
(43:14):
Are your neediness? Not saying you have it, but I'm
saying that's where I see this go wrong. From the
guy's perspective, I'm sure you've talked to a lot of girls,
but when I see this happening to a guy. I
have two or three in my life right now. One
of them just kind of divorce and they cannot bring themselves,
(43:36):
they cannot humble themselves and squash their pride enough to
say stop it, Biff, don't say don't say anything about
that guy.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
Don't sit that's stupid.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Don't do it. Don't do it. And you did, and
you did, and you just tore down another layer of
anything that you had built. Two steps back, one step forward.
I'm what I'm not saying is it's your fault. I'm
not saying she's in the right and you're messing this
all up. I'm just saying, from my perspective, pride is
(44:06):
a huge enemy in this situation. I also think churches
fail couples. A lot of bad churches out there. Not
saying you're in a bad church, I'm just saying I
think you probably are.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Un must thing you're in a bad church. I'm just
saying I think you probably are.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Yes, I'm not saying I'm sure of it. I'm saying
I'm pretty sure of it because all I get out
of this is our pastor told us we need to
talk to other people.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
What kind of advice is that? Pastor?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
If a church was operating correctly biblically, if it was
acting soundly like it's supposed to, we.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Wouldn't need AA.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
We wouldn't need extramarital counseling, we wouldn't need grief share.
Those things are great, but we wouldn't need them. We
could use them, but we wouldn't need them because the
church would provide the need for the sheep. The pastor,
the shepherd provides for the sheep, and he doesn't say
you need to talk to other people. Hey, pastor, if
(45:11):
you're listening, this guy Biff might have just said that wrong.
And maybe that's not Maybe there's more to the story
that probably is. Look if whenever you got married and
you said your vows, there was something probably in your
vows that said something about for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer, for insickness and health. Love,
(45:32):
A true love for your spouse will persist past the
time when you stop benefiting from it. Think about that.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Let me say it again.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
A true love for your spouse will persist longer than
the time when you stop benefiting from it. Man, that
is an epidemic in this country when people stop getting
when they stop benefiting from the marriage. They think I'm out,
(46:07):
or we gotta separate, or we gotta we gotta try
something new, we gotta date somebody else. I'm no longer happy.
I'm not happy, me me, me, I'm not getting what
I want.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
And you're like, hey, did you not say for better
or for worse? This is worse. It's not.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
I will marry you for better. When you stop benefiting.
You should keep loving selflesslie, you should stop. You should suppress,
work to suppress the jealousy, work to suppress these feelings
of anger. That Biff, I'm pretty sure you got. I
love you, brother, and I'm so glad you emailed. But
(46:46):
if I was talking to you on text, this is
how I would talk to you, and this is how
we talk to these other guys. I'm like, listen to me.
Stop being so stubborn. Get your hard head out of this.
Speaker 3 (46:57):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
These questions are hard because we don't know the whole
gist of your marriage. We don't know what's gone on
in your marriage to cause this conflict, to cause you
guys to be in this space. So, first of all,
I wanted to say I was glad you were walking
through it. With a pastor. But then for them to
say you should talk to other people, I don't know
if they meant counseling or other couples or that's kind
of vague. I would also say it's good that you
(47:21):
guys are trying to date each other again. You know,
I think a lot of couples they get into this
rut where they don't date each other. They get busy
with work or busy with kids, and they kind of
their husband or wife go on the back burner. So
you have to be intentional and make time and date
each other, which is great that you'll are doing that.
The whole thing about talking to another guy, I don't
know if that was through text or Facebook or if
(47:41):
that was in person. So while I agree with Granger
and saying you should swallow your pride and you should
try to you know, the verse in Corinthian says love
is not jealous, you have to try to try to
swallow that. I also think that coming from a woman,
if there was something that I knew would make my
husband jealous, I would try everything in my power not
(48:02):
to do it. So I'm not saying you can't ever
like say hello to somebody and be kind and cordial.
But if there's something that I know is gonna upset Granger,
if he was really didn't want me to talk to
another guy because he thought I was flirting, I wouldn't
do it.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
I'm not speaking for her. I'm just speaking for.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Biff, right, r right. He asked the question, So I
was just speaking for a woman's perspective. So yeah, I
don't know she's triggering him, Yeah, she's triggering. I would
just say, continue to seek wise counsel, continue to date
each other, and try to get back to that place
that you were. Like Granger said, I saw something the
other day that said, your marriage doesn't have to end,
(48:39):
but this version of your marriage can end. Like you,
guys can stop this right now. You don't have to
you don't have to get a divorce, you don't have
to be separated. You can just say, look, we're gonna
stop this right now. We're gonna choose each other. We're
going to date each other. We're going to see what
makes the other person upset. We're not going to do that.
We're going to pour into each other. And another thing
is I think it was John Hybrid that said the
(49:00):
best version that you can the best thing you can
do for your husband and your wife is to devote
time to your holiness. If you are seeking yourself to
be holy, you will do everything that the Bible says
to honor your husband or your wife. So, if you
guys are both chasing after Christ, you're gonna love each other.
You're gonna choose each other. You're gonna have that first
Corinthian's love. So I would say, work on your walk
(49:21):
with the Lord.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
And if that's so good, that's so good.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
You know you can't say that, If you can't say
I've put everything in God's hands.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
Oh, pray about it every day. I'm scared to death.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
I was gonna say. I was gonna say that too.
I've heard so many people say, I'm just giving it
to God. I'm just giving it up. I'm just gonna
let him do. Okay, Yes, we want to surrender everything
to God. But that's not a that's not passive.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Still, it's active, it's active faith. You're still going to
do things to work closer to your to your loved
one too, to choose them, to leave little notes for
them like you have to choose to do things to
show your love for them. You can't just say, oh,
I'm just giving up. I'm just giving it to God
and praying he's gonna do a miracle. Like no, you
have to be active in your relationship.
Speaker 3 (50:05):
So good. Thanks, love it.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
That's all I got, y'all. We'll see you next episode.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmasy. Thanks for joining me on the
Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little
like button and notification spell so that you never miss
anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yigi
Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth,
or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning, the sun
will rise all right back on the podcast. Welcome everybody,
(00:23):
favorite guest.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Ever you say that to everybody?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I don't have any guests on here? Can you tell
my voices bad?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
It's on the It's on the way back up. Yesterday,
I've been hitting it hard doing a lot of radio,
and on top of that, I got into all this
allergy stuff as I was traveling to wherever I was,
Florida and then Kentucky. And as I'm traveling and doing
(00:53):
more and more radio, my voice was just like declining.
And so I was trying to load up all these
Chrismus after midnights and I was like, oh good, after midnight.
I was like, Jeed, gummit, welcome after dad, gomm stop
it rewind it, welcome to after midnight.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I'm bring dude. It was. It was crushing me, but
I got it. I got it.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
And and now what you hear now is on the
it's on It's on the way up.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
You were saying yesterday how you were coughing a lot,
and in all the years that we've been married, and
all your years of touring and doing music, you like,
never coughed. He would purposely make himself not cough. I
don't know how he did it, but you would do
all these kinds of tricks to make yourself not cough
because you didn't want it to mess up your voice.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
So, yeah, it's interesting because I don't care as much
about my voice. I preached twice this week, and uh,
the first time I preached, you know, I didn't have
much of a voice at all, but it was fine.
I get to still get the point across. I couldn't sing. Yeah,
So thankfully I don't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah,
we answer your questions on this podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
That's what we do.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And I have a limited number of guests each week,
and this is my favorite one, my wife Amber. If
you want your question answered, email Granger at Excuse Me
podcast at grangersmith dot com. Not only is my voice
going out, but so is my brain podcast at grangersmith
dot com.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
You're not busy or anything. You don't have a lot
on your plate at all.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I have so much on my plate, but I love
it all. No, I know you do I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
That's why we have to give you grace for your
brain not working one hundred percent all the time.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I think the messages went well this week too, even
though my brain was it's not great. I think I
think the messages, I think they went.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Well over well.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I can't wait to see them. I always read them.
He always sends them to me to read. But a
lot of the times I can't be there in person
with you, so I can't. I always like to wait
and watch the videos whenever they come out.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
First question comes from Olivia. It says, Hey, Granger, just
wanted to start off by saying that I really love
your podcast and your music. You really inspire me with
everything that you've ever done. I'm seventeen, I'm a Mennonite girl,
and I'm very curious what you think about the head
covering in one Corinthians eleven, which says, but every woman
that prayeth orphthought, prophesiath with her head uncovered, dishonor dishonorreth
(03:20):
her head reading the King James.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I have grown up.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
In a Minnite church, and I was always taught modesty
and headcovering. Some people think that Anabaptists are very legalistic,
but most of the people around me are strong Christians
and they want to follow the Bible with all their heart.
I'm a firm believer, and I hope that you don't
think I'm basing my faith on these things.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
But I want to serve the Lord fully.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I know that modesty is something that's very important, but
I'm questioning how important the head covering is. What are
your thoughts on this. I'm so glad you emailed, Olivia.
I love our men, and I questions and Marv, if
(04:06):
you're listening, I'm sending you. I'm sending you this one.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Buddy.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Marv is a Marv is a dear, dear brother, and
we talk. I mean, Marv, what do you say he
listens to this podcast. We talk every other day. I
mean we talk quite a bit. He is wise counsel
for me. He is a friend to me. He's someone
(04:29):
I can message to grab a prayer request from. And
he's also a Mennonite pastor in South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
You met Marv?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, yeah, great family, and so because of my lack
of understanding of the Mennonite culture, I typically I'll.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Consult Marv on this stuff. All the time.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Marvel also knows a lot about the Amish, and so
Marvis is is a reborn Christian brother also pastor, and
he also has a cultivated love for the heritage of.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
The Mennonite people.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So it's what I'm saying is he didn't like leave
the Midnite church and become a pastor somewhere else. He's
still a Mennonite pastor, but his eyes are open. And
I can't say enough how much I love this guy.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Actually met him, you know, I met him. I met
him through this podcast.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
He emailed the podcast, and I emailed him back, and
we became friends. His question was meant way off topic here.
His question to me was something like, what are you
gonna do with Earl Dibbles Junior? Now that you're reborn?
And there was something about it. People ask that kind
(05:53):
of thing all the time, but there was something about
this particular time. I was drawn to his words. I
was drawn to the email. Not that he said anything
profound about that, but I was drawn to it. And
I just replied, and then he replied, and I've replied,
Then he replied. Then I gave him my number. Then
he called me, and then we talked for a long
time and then we just became friends. Yeah, so Amber,
your thoughts. I know that you've studied this, and you
(06:14):
have a lot of thoughts on first Corintheen's eleven have
I I mean, I'm sure you have more than me.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I mean, I kind of have got this question a
lot too, but I have never I have never answered
it because I feel like I have more study to do.
I know that there were some things that were you
would do back in the culture. I do believe in modesty.
I believe that you know, of course, we're called to
be modest as Christians, and I've in my walk with
the Lord, I've changed certain things about my dress and
(06:40):
certain things that I put out there. As far as
the head covering goes, I think it was R. C.
Sprull who said he's like one of the only ones
of the pastors that we kind of study who says
he still believes that women should have head coverings. I
believe it's him. We'll have to have to fact check
me on this, but I mean, obviously, in today's culture,
nobody none of the women cover their heads, really are
(07:03):
There are there specific denominations who still do.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I feel like the Amish in the mid night.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Okay, I feel like I still have to do more
study of Andecostals to Okay, I feel like I still
need to do more study on this. Yes, I don't
know if this is one of those things that was
in the culture then and doesn't apply now.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
What's happening here is this is a beautiful thing because
ant Man is now producing the podcast, so now he
puts these questions in.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, so it's like.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Hey, question number one, deal with this, you know, that's
that's kind of what he's doing. And so let look,
I think what both of us, both of us are
saying Olivia, is something that's very important for a Christian
to put in their arsenal.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, here's what I do know. Though what I do
know is more important than what I don't know when
it comes to the gospel, because what I do know
is this is not a matter of salvation.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
This is this is.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Not a matter of you earning any extra favor with God.
It is a matter of obedience, and we want to
be We desire to be as obedient as possible. I
think I walk through this in similar occasions on this podcast,
with things like alcohol, someone that's like, hey, man, I
don't I think I should cut out drinking. And I
(08:20):
know it's not a sin to actually take a sip
of alcohol, it's a sin to get drunk. But now
I'm thinking, and I'm like, hey, that that is your
I think that's a good view of your sanctification. Me
and Amber both I'm a seminarian at Southern Baptist and
I can't drink.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
People ask me that.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
They say, hey, now that you're at Southern, you're enrolled
at Southern, and you can't drink. Is that offensive to you?
Do you think that's legalistic?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I kind of like that question. I'm like, no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I think it's I think it's responsible. I think it's
responsible for Southern to require that of their students. And
they're not saying it's biblical that you have to and
they're not saying that this is your salvation depends on it.
They're saying, hey, if you want to be as obedient
as possible and stay away from any kind of temptation,
then we highly encourage, in fact require you.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
To not drink.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I think that's a good way to test yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And so, so, Olivia, here's a couple things here's a
couple more things. If you feel, if you feel the
pool the which is sanctification, if you feel the need
to cover your head because of the conviction, because of
First Grinthians eleven, then I would.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Say do it.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
The second thing is but but don't do it as
a it's an obligation. Do it instead as an offering.
And then here's the other thing. Paul's going to talk
about how he will be like others so that he
could win them. Perhaps, so you're in a Mennonite church
(09:58):
where a lot of girls are covering their head, I
don't think it would be wise for you to walk
in one day without a head covering and go. You know,
I just don't think I think that's a little legalistic.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
I think that can.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Cause unnecessary disruption. I think it's a healthy conversation outside
the church building. But on a Sunday morning, I don't
think that. I don't think that helps anybody with anything.
I think it's a great conversation to have with girls
later about hey, you know, this is not dependent on salvation.
Depend Salvation is not dependent upon this. And that's just
(10:33):
the tip of the iceberg. With a lot of different
denominations in what they require, what they need.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I love that you said that it's okay for us,
as we're growing in our sanctification and growing in our
wisdom and knowledge of the scriptures, to say that we
don't know because we're still searching, we're still learning, and
there are a couple there are a few things obviously
that we don't know and we might need to seek
wise counsel about that. So I would just encourage her
to seek more wise counsel and just do more study.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, I don't know, and no one really does. No
one knows this issue on one Corinthians eleven, So let's
kick it around. It's a great discussion, and I'm really
glad you asked it.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
It's another one.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
This comes from Blake. Hey Grainger, my name's Blake. I'm
eighteen from California, and I love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
My question is.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
How do I, or how should I improve my relationship
with my mom. My parents have been divorced for sixteen years.
Three years ago, my mom met a new guy. She
ended up marrying him after a few months and moving
us while I was in high school for no reason
other than because this new guy wanted to move near
(11:38):
the beach. This along with him yelling at me, constantly
accusing me of things I haven't done. Making my mom
an alcoholic and constantly crossing the line has caused me
to build up resentments against my mom for allowing these
things to happen. Given that my dad was an alcoholic
and had a DUI, it's hard to see my mom
(12:00):
go through similar battles because of her new husband. Prior
to this guy, she drank once or twice a month.
Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or
am I just wasting my time due to her actions
telling me that she doesn't prioritize her relationship with me?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Thanks Blake, he's eighteen eighteen.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Did he say at the very end there that she
tells him she's not prioritizing a relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or
am I just wasting my time due to her actions?
Telling her actions?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Telling me?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Okay, so his question is how do I build or
improve my relationship with my mom?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I'm going to say the first thing to do is
don't give up on praying. And I mean, you are
technically an adult now and you can't control what your
mom does, but you can control your response to it,
and I would continue to pray, and just you know,
the Bible tells us to put away anger and resentment
(13:02):
and all those things, and that's hard to do in
our flesh, so we cannot do that apart from the
Holy Spirit. So first I would say, develop your relationship
with the Lord and continue to pray. But then also
just go to her honestly and just say you're worried
about her, and you love her and you want to
see her in a good place, and you don't want
to see her, you know, in pain or sick or
(13:24):
drinking all the time. It's a hard situation to be
in because you do care about your mom, but she's
also you know, she probably thinks, well, I've raised my son,
now it's time for me to have my life with
this new husband or boyfriend or it's tricky. It's tricky.
I would just be in constant prayer. In constant prayer.
(13:46):
You have to do that in slow now, bless you.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
That's the smith. You know, like.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
This if you were fifteen, fourteen, twelve, I'd have probably
a different answer at eighteen. If you want to, I'm
gonna go buy your question. I'm gonna dissect your question,
because your question is not how do I heal my mom?
How do I help my mom? How do I tell
my mom that this guy's bad for her? That's not
your question. Your question is how should I improve my
(14:18):
relationship with my mom? And so I'm going to just
go with that. I'm gonna go with your question and
not try to dig any deeper. I think that's fair enough.
You want to improve your relationship with your mom, lover,
forgive her, give her grace. See from her perspective, she
(14:39):
has fallen twice now for an alcoholic. It's easy to
see why she's drinking more because she's around an alcoholic.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
He's an alcoholic, right, this guy, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Easy to It's like it's easy to become a smoker
when you live in with a smoker. So that's understandable.
So see that from her perspective, See that she is
probably hurting through all this. She probably misses you, loves you.
My suggestion to improve the relationship is to love her,
(15:09):
have grace for her, forgive her. And it doesn't mean
you need to trust her or trust this new guy,
or it doesn't mean you have to be happy that
she moved, because those are real feelings that you're really experiencing.
So instead tell her, Mom, I love you. I genuinely
want what's best for you. You know, I don't particularly
(15:31):
care for this new guy, but I do want you
to be happy, and I want to be someone you
can come to to get advice, someone you could you
could lean on. You could trust me, Mom, because I
love you and I always will regardless of what you do,
regardless of what you do with this guy. I love
you and I genuinely want the best for you.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And also I forgive you.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I know that I've been grumpy, I've been sharp and
mean lately telling you my opinions about moving and telling
you what I think about this new guy, and I
don't ever want to hurt you, and I just want
to say I'm sorry and I forgive you. That's a
really good place to start to improve a relationship you.
You got all kinds of green grass to run in
(16:17):
after that, but you start with that, with that stance
of humility, I think you're gonna be in a much
better place to build something positive with your mom. Next
question comes from anonymous and it says, Hey, Granger, I
lost my husband and recently started dating I've been on
a few dates, and each of them expected to sleep
(16:38):
with me. On the first date. I was in shock.
One of them even said, come on, we.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Are adults here, we could do what we.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Want, which I didn't disagree on this point. I said, exactly,
and I am not sleeping with you now and probably never.
But I didn't want to sleep with a man that
I barely knew, needless to say, he was history.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Recently, I met a man that I may end up
wanting to sleep with.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I care about him enough to start a serious relationship with.
Does the Bible speak about a widow and sex? This
man respects my decision to wait until I'm ready. I'm
after a serious relationship. I do not plan to just
go on a date from now on. Tell me whether
the Bible speaks on this or not? And what are
(17:29):
your thoughts on this? And your wife too? Oh you
happen to be here in Christian love? Anonymous? All right, Anonymous,
let's dig in this is This is very, very, very easy,
and it doesn't make it a bad question. It's a
(17:50):
great question. I'm glad you asked, but it's very easy.
The answer is no, You're not going to be condoned,
whether a widow or whether you're just single outside of
marriage to be in a sexual relationship.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
What do I say after that? I wonder, I wonder
if you are a Christian? Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
It's hard for me to take this out of context
and think and just assume that you are a Christian
or that maybe you're a cultural Christian and you're just
kind of going by the book, like, Hey, what boxes
do I need to check? I'm a Christian because that's
the way I grew up. What boxes am I checking again?
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Granger? Will you remind me what the Bible says?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
When in fact I would so encourage you to see
for yourself.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Yeah, to go and see.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
And this is probably a good time for me to
tell you the gospel because, and maybe this goes with
the head covering conversation as well, that all of us
are sinners. We have all fallen short of the glory
of God. Our own conscience testifies to that that we
(19:14):
have messed up, that we have fallen short in all
different ways, all of us in different ways. But all
of us are rebels, enemies of God, really a perfect
holy God. We have turned our back on him. We
have gone our own way.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
We've said.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
You know what, I'm going to decide what I do,
and I might go check and see what that old
Bible says, or may ask this podcast, But really, in general,
I'm going to do what I want because you know why,
like the email says, because I'm an adult and I
do what I want, not what some God tells me
to do. Granger, that's not what you said, but that's
the implication. God knowing this, knowing that everyone had rebelled
(19:55):
against him, all all of us have fallen short. There
is no one good, no, not even one, thus says
the Bible, as if I was Billy Graham. Knowing this,
God enters his own creation as a man living the
perfect life, fulfilling the law perfectly, whether it's a head covering,
(20:17):
or whether it's alcohol, or whether it's premarital or widow sex,
all of the law. He fulfilled it perfectly, sinless, perfection
in a way that no one that's ever walked on
this earth ever has. And you know what we did
when we knew that, we killed him for it. I
say we talking about humanity. He went to the cross,
(20:39):
as predestined, as perfectly planned, so that upon that cross
he took on the sin, the punishment that we deserved
as sinners, to be in the presence of a holy God.
To be reconciled and brought to God, the Bible says,
would require perfection. We didn't have it. Someone's got to
get punished for that. Jesus took on that pun himself
(21:00):
and says, anyone that turns from themselves, that turns away
from this sin, turns to me.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Will have eternal life.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Three days later, he was raised from the grid from
the grave, proving his divinity, proving that the sacrifice that.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
He gave to God was worthy.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Anyone that believes that looks to him, turns from their
old self and turns to him will be saved.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Through that salvation.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
You start feeling the sanctification, and you're gonna start feeling
some things. You're gonna have a craving to read God's word,
You're gonna have a craving to be around God's people,
and you're gonna have a craving to walk in obedience,
which could mean a head covering, it could mean staying
away from alcohol. Like the last email or this one,
I'm gonna not have sex until I'm married.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I agree, I don't think I need to add any
more to that.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Next question comes from Anna, Hey, Grander, love your podcast
and that you're unashamed of the gospel, and I just
want to thank you and ever for helping me grow
closer to Jesus. I to quickly respond to that, I
am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the
power of God into salvation. Second paragraph here says I'd
(22:15):
also known and liked your music, but I stumbled across
your channel in May of twenty twenty one, and now
I watch Dismiss all the time and rise with Hamber.
I know that God brought me to your channel to
bring me closer to Him because of what I'm going
through now. I lost my uncle in December of twenty
two to a sudden heart attack. I'm still in shock
(22:36):
and my family is hurting so much. I just can't
believe he's gone. On top of this, I'm single and
I've never felt more alone in my life. I'm reading
my Bible every day and praying, but I still feel stuck.
Do you have any suggestions on how to get through this?
Thanks so much, Annah, I'll let you go with this.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Did she say how long?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
As she said December twenty two, so it's been a year.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I think everything that you're feeling is okay, and there's
no real timeline of grief. Now, you don't want to
pitch a tent and stay there. You know you're saying
that you're feeling stuck. I think it's natural and normal
to feel alone and scared and angry and full of
sadness and grief for somebody that you love. And I
(23:20):
pray that he was a Christian. I pray that he
is with the Lord now, and when we are in
Christ we go from life to life. There is there
is no death. And I think you're doing everything that
you need to be doing by reading your word, continually praying,
and just be patient and know that God is working
even when you don't feel it, and even when you
(23:42):
don't see it. Just because you don't feel him doesn't
mean that that he's not there, that he's not moving,
that he's not working. So don't be so hard on yourself.
Give yourself grace.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
It's like you said, if this was five years from
now or ten years from now, I would say something different.
But this is still really fresh and everyone is still
hurting and still grieving. So I would just tell you
to continue to I don't know if you're plugged into
a local church, but if you're feeling lonely, I would
say to get plugged into a local church and have
the body of believers surround you and walk with you
through this grief and just continue to be in your word,
(24:15):
like you say that you're doing right now.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I don't think I have anything to add to that
as well.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Does she ask any other questions or just she feels stuck.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
She feels stuck, and like you said, it's very normal. Yeah,
I hear you. The thing I'll tell you too, Anna,
is that it's been one year now. You should see
in this year two a significant improvement. Yeah, Because what's
part of what's making this tough is your family. Your
(24:48):
family's hurting so much, and so when you start to
your spirits starting to lift a little bit, you're starting
to feel a little bit better, and then you go
to your aunt's house and everyone's crying.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
It's like.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
It reminds you of the reality that you're in. That
we live in a fallen world where there is death
and mortality very evident to us. And so I think
that's part of what's going on is it's not just
you because you said, I'm in shock and my family
is hurting so much.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I just can't believe he's gone.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And there's also gonna be a lot more of this
coming up in your life, not just your uncle, It's
coming to everyone. You're doing the right things, You're seeking
the right counsel. But that use this also as a
(25:41):
it's a good magnifier that there is an end on
this earth for everyone. What are you gonna do with that?
What are you gonna do with the time you have now?
Who are you gonna tell the gospel to now before
their time is up, before a sudden heart attack hits
like it did my dad.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah, and think about the time that we're coming into,
you know, the Christmas season, the Advent season. This is
the perfect time. You just shared the gospel like this
is what God came to do, was to save us
and to bring us into right relationship with Him and
for us to someday be on the new Heaven and
the new Earth. This gives us hope. You can grieve
with hope. If you're in your Bible, you should be
able to be grieving with hope. And I would say
(26:22):
it looks it's going to be a year. I guess
right now at December to December, I would say, go
out and do something special in remembrance of him on
that day. That's what we try to do for River
or Granger's dad, is just to remember them in a
special way and go do something for somebody else. When
you take the focus off of yourself and go help
somebody else, it helps to give you purpose through that pain.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Best question comes from Jay and it says, hey, Grangdeer
recently discovered your podcast and your music and has changed
my life. I'm seventeen, my name is Jay. Just wanted
us to get your opinion on tattoos. I know you
have some, but my dad thinks that it mars your
body and God created in a specific way and to
change it permanently is against his will.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
I want you.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
I want to get one myself when I turn of age.
But what about tattoos of God or Christ? If they
show someone's love for God? If they show someone's love
for God, is it bad to have Any thoughts on
this would be much appreciated. Also, could you tell me
what the meaning of the barbarier tattoo on your arm?
And why you say you say us all the way around.
(27:29):
Thanks love you man and everything you're doing.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Thank you Jay.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
The first thing is that barboarer tattoos fake. It's from
a sharpie.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
We used to draw it on before every show, and
now you just kind of you just didn't care anymore.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
It's part of the it's part of the humor of
Earl when we first created him that he would that
It's like, there's a you think of getting a barbarer
two tattoo would hurt because it goes kind of under
the armpit, goes all the way around, and so there
would be guys according to Earl. In my mind, Earle
would think that maybe a city boy would get a
(28:03):
tattoo of a barbed wire, but he would stop right
under the armpit where it actually hurt. And so Earle saying,
mine goes all the way around, because I don't care
about the pain.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Of course it goes all the way around.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
It's like Earl is always having an argument with himself
to a hypothetical city boy accusation, like does it go
all the way around, Earl, even where it hurts in
the soft part of your armpit.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Of course it goes all the way around.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
You know what I'm doing after midnight, and I'm Earl
when I have this voice, it's very difficult.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
I'm earld devil's chine. It doesn't do it. It doesn't
do it.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Jay, let me jump in on your question here, and
Amber could jump in as well. This is interesting. I'm
not sure if ant Man put these together on purpose
for a little theme. But now we're talking about head coverings,
extramarital sex, and now Tatto who's This is the episode
of obedience for sure, and obedience versus legalism moralism. So
(29:11):
let me dissect your question.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
The first thing I want to say is your dad
thinks that it mars your body, and God created it
the body in a specific way, and to change it
permanently is against his will.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Half truth.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, it's interesting God's will as we pray, like Jesus
taught us, your will be done on earth as it
is in heaven, meaning your will is.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Going to be done.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
We pray for it to be done, and we praise
you that it will be done. There is nothing changing that.
So to say that you change your body is against
or going against his will. That's a harsh way of
saying it to say, it would be better to say,
does it displease him? Marring my does marring my body
(30:08):
displease a Holy God? I think that would be a
better way to say it. And once again here we go,
similar to head coverings. This is going to be something
that you are going to You can go to Leviticus
for this, but you're not gonna see much more after
that in the New Testament. You're gonna need to stick
(30:30):
with your sanctification. You need You're gonna need to stick
with what you you are feeling as you are going
through your own quiet time. If I was going to
give you an opinion, I would say, brother, don't don't
get any That would be my what my ask to you.
I wouldn't do it now. If I was going to
(30:52):
start all over as a reborn Christian, I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Not because of legalism, not because of waralism. But why
would I risk that? Why would I risk displeasing God?
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
It's like you said, it's was spoken about in Leviticus
and not really in the New Testament, And so back
then it was seen, as you know, the pagan kind
of people would tattoo their body and mar their body
up with their gods, and so it was. It was forbidden,
and it's not.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
And I'll just jump in to it. In addition to that,
the levitical laws, the Mosaic law itself was a separation
be holy. They wanted God wanted the Israelites his people
to be holy. To better define what that means. It means,
be separate. Don't be like the world. We're gonna set you.
(31:50):
I want to set you apart. Don't be like them.
Don't eat what they eat, don't wear what they wear,
don't worship the way they worship. Don't tattoo your bodies
like they tattooed their bodies. You are holy just like
I am holy. I want you to be holy. Set apart.
And there are certain things that they're doing that mark them,
like those men they have long hair, those women that
(32:12):
have short hair. There's certain things they're doing that setting
it's making them worldly. Don't do those things. We are
now outside of that covenant. We are now part of
the new covenant. That crisis fulfilled the law, all of it,
every dot and iota of it, so we don't look
(32:33):
at it as breaking a law. When it comes to
the ceremonial slash civil laws of the time. We do
absolutely still respect and keep and live by the moral
version of the law, and so keep that in mind
(32:55):
when you're thinking about all of the many rules and.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Lividic gets go ahead.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
And I don't think getting a tattoo now would be sin. Obviously,
if you're putting some sort of sorcery type thing on
your body, then yes, But I don't think getting across
on your body would be seen as sin. If you're
doing something that reminds you of your love for the Lord,
I don't think, based on the New Testament, that would
be sin. Like Granger said, Jesus came to fulfill the law,
(33:20):
were not held under that law anymore. But I do
think if you're wrestling with it and thinking about it
and you're not quite at peace about it, just wait,
just don't do it yet. I will tell you every
tattoo that I've gotten I regret. You know, I wasn't
a Christian. They don't mean anything. They're just ridiculous, and
they're on my body now unless I get them removed forever.
(33:40):
But I also did get across when I got baptized
and I got a little lightning bolt for river, and
I don't think that was sin in doing that. I
think you should, like Granger said, listen to your own
conviction about it. You're going through your own sanctification process.
But I don't think like your dad said, it's against
God's will. However, I will say, are our bodies are
(34:01):
a temple of the Holy Spirit, and so that could
be something that you're wrestling with as well. So listen
to your own conviction about that.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, that's why I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Just don't do it. Yeah, if you're if you're not ready,
and you're not.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
If you decide to do it, don't get it. You said,
what about tattoos of God or Christ?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Don't do that. Do not get a tattoo of Christ on.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
You like a I think I don't think you meant
like a photo of Jesus.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I think he did.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Okay, I was thinking like a cross or something.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Don't do that. That would be breaking a commandment as well.
Show today is brought to you, guys by better help
with all of these deep topics that we get into.
There is always a consideration that therapy can be very helpful.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
I've said this many times.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I'm not a therapist, but sometimes the questions I get
on this podcast require some kind of therapy in terms
of someone professional listening to you, so that you could
walk through your issues with someone that's trained and actually
educated in order to help direct you towards a path
of feeling better. Certainly, when Amber and I went through
(35:05):
our most traumatic experience, therapy was very helpful. Now you
might be thinking, well, that's good for you, Granger, but
therapy is not for me. I'm not into walking into
some place and laying down on a green couch and
telling somebody my problems. Well, right now, I want to
introduce you to betterhelp dot com and this is a
great time of year to either treat yourself or someone
(35:26):
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(35:46):
give yourself what you need with better Help, visit betterhelp
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your first month. That's better help h lp dot com
slash Granger Also, if you're thinking about getting somebody gift
that maybe has everything, how about a gift of cameo.
You can go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith
(36:06):
and you could book me for a video message saying
anything you want right now this time a season, it's
easy for me to say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, a
word of encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary, whatever it might be.
And you could do that last minute for a Christmas present,
that's last minute. You could go to cameo dot com
slash Granger Smith or download the cameo app and search
(36:30):
for me Granger Smith.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
It's super easy.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It comes up on my phone and I get your
message and send the customized message. It comes back to
you from me, and then you send it to whoever
you want. Give someone a Christmas gift of a cameo
once again, that's cameo dot com slash Granger Smith.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
People always think that Christmas is such a joyful time,
and it is because we have what Christ did for
us and we look forward, you know, to remembering his
birth and what he came to do. And we look
forward to his return. But for most it's the most
wonderful time of the year, or some other people it's not.
They're sad and lonely or grieving.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
What do you tell someone that's looking at this holiday
season right now and they were missing somebody at their
at the dinner table, or maybe they were alone. Actually
I can't imagine. There's all kinds of scenarios. Maybe a
widow that lost her husband and this is the first
Christmas she has a house alone to herself.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
How do you speak to that?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I would say, if they're listening to this the next day,
I would say, congratulations, you made it through that day,
and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had
to go through that. But the sun rose again, and
you know, like the scripture says, weeping may terry for
the night, but joy comes in the morning. And I
pray that with God's God gives you new morning mercies
every single day, and that you can wake up to
(37:46):
this new day and know I made it through yesterday,
I did it. I can do it again, and just
keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
The movie Castaway Tom Hanks not a Christian movie, but
do you remember at the very end when he's talking
to Kelly and he's explaining that he almost killed himself
on that island after three years. I think the story.
I love that movie, and he's talking about it and
(38:16):
he was getting ready to give up, and he was like, but.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
The sun still rises. And one day the tide brought
me a sail. It was a port of body.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
And I say that to anyone too, that I think
that's beautiful that you said that the sun still rises.
And the only way to know that it does is
to get up the next morning and open your curtains
and make your bed, and brush your teeth and put
on some clothes and look out at the sky. And God,
(38:52):
you were consistently putting us with a new day. The
earth rotated again, and there's the sun so consistent, never
misses morning, never misses. Yeah, that sounds so trite, so
stupid almost to say it that way. But if we
think about God, one of the most beautiful things about
(39:14):
God's creation is the consistency that he put us in.
We could rely that tomorrow. We know tomorrow the sun
will come up, and there is so much peace.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
In that consistency.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth,
or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
The sun will rise.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Until he commands that it doesn't. He has it in
a loop right now. He has earth in a loop
until he tells it to stop. That is a crazy thought.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Yeah. And so also to that point, are you right
with the Lord? Because it's going to come like a
thief in the night when he tells it to stop.
So are you right? Are you right with Jesus? Did
you listen to the gospel that Granger just shared? Do
you know where you're going when that sun doesn't come
up again?
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (40:09):
And to the to the people that are in a
community that are missing someone that maybe this is a
really hard holiday season. They maybe they took a vacation
from Christmas and left the house and they're off somewhere
else right now. And maybe listening to this podcast, Amber
and I could both tell you that Christmas will be
(40:29):
what it used to be again. You have a tendency
sometimes to think, well, not only did I lose my
loved one, but I also lost Christmas.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I also lost Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
And because I lost my loved one, now I also
don't get to celebrate my favorite holiday, and that now
my childhood's gone. So not only did I lose my
loved one, but I have erased the joy of my childhood.
What now we have a tendency like our brain starts
doing weird.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Tricks like that.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yeah, and then you have to kind of put put
our feelings on top of the authority of what we
know and go.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
No, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
The sun will rise. Well, we will move forward. We
will have a normal Christmas again. We will feel joy
on Christmas morning again.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
That's a promise.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, we still have a question left on this episode.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
We should ask it from Biff. I love that name.
If yes, you know I love back to the future.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Hey, Granger, been listening to the pod for a long
time and I really do enjoy what I've heard. So
my wife and I are in a hard place in
our lives. We've decided to separate and go back to
just dating each other to hopefully get back to a
happy life with each other. I've put everything in God's hands.
I pray about it every day. I'm scared to death
(41:59):
my wife is going to want to divorce me in
the end. Our pastor has told us we need to
talk to other people. My wife is definitely doing that,
but I can't bring myself to it. I love her
so much. I'm working on myself, trying to be better
for myself and my wife. We've spent the weekend together
and I got extremely jealous of her talking to another guy.
(42:20):
She says that he's just a friend, and he told
me to look at who she chose to spend the
weekend with, but Granger, It's hard. I got so jealous
when we ended up fighting about it. Some advice is
greatly appreciated. Sincerely, A Western a West Texas A West.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Texan named Biff.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Yeah, Biff Man, thank you for emailing. I'm so sorry
that you're going through this. I see this play out
with people often.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Say that first I see this play out, and where
I see the mistakes happening is win, Biff. You cannot
hold back your anger? Are your jealousy? Are your obsessiveness?
(43:14):
Are your neediness? Not saying you have it, but I'm
saying that's where I see this go wrong. From the
guy's perspective, I'm sure you've talked to a lot of girls,
but when I see this happening to a guy. I
have two or three in my life right now. One
of them just kind of divorce and they cannot bring themselves,
(43:36):
they cannot humble themselves and squash their pride enough to
say stop it, Biff, don't say don't say anything about
that guy.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
Don't sit that's stupid.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Don't do it. Don't do it. And you did, and
you did, and you just tore down another layer of
anything that you had built. Two steps back, one step forward.
I'm what I'm not saying is it's your fault. I'm
not saying she's in the right and you're messing this
all up. I'm just saying, from my perspective, pride is
(44:06):
a huge enemy in this situation. I also think churches
fail couples. A lot of bad churches out there. Not
saying you're in a bad church, I'm just saying I
think you probably are.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Un must thing you're in a bad church. I'm just
saying I think you probably are.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Yes, I'm not saying I'm sure of it. I'm saying
I'm pretty sure of it because all I get out
of this is our pastor told us we need to
talk to other people.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
What kind of advice is that? Pastor?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
If a church was operating correctly biblically, if it was
acting soundly like it's supposed to, we.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Wouldn't need AA.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
We wouldn't need extramarital counseling, we wouldn't need grief share.
Those things are great, but we wouldn't need them. We
could use them, but we wouldn't need them because the
church would provide the need for the sheep. The pastor,
the shepherd provides for the sheep, and he doesn't say
you need to talk to other people. Hey, pastor, if
(45:11):
you're listening, this guy Biff might have just said that wrong.
And maybe that's not Maybe there's more to the story
that probably is. Look if whenever you got married and
you said your vows, there was something probably in your
vows that said something about for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer, for insickness and health. Love,
(45:32):
A true love for your spouse will persist past the
time when you stop benefiting from it. Think about that.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Let me say it again.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
A true love for your spouse will persist longer than
the time when you stop benefiting from it. Man, that
is an epidemic in this country when people stop getting
when they stop benefiting from the marriage. They think I'm out,
(46:07):
or we gotta separate, or we gotta we gotta try
something new, we gotta date somebody else. I'm no longer happy.
I'm not happy, me me, me, I'm not getting what
I want.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
And you're like, hey, did you not say for better
or for worse? This is worse. It's not.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
I will marry you for better. When you stop benefiting.
You should keep loving selflesslie, you should stop. You should suppress,
work to suppress the jealousy, work to suppress these feelings
of anger. That Biff, I'm pretty sure you got. I
love you, brother, and I'm so glad you emailed. But
(46:46):
if I was talking to you on text, this is
how I would talk to you, and this is how
we talk to these other guys. I'm like, listen to me.
Stop being so stubborn. Get your hard head out of this.
Speaker 3 (46:57):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
These questions are hard because we don't know the whole
gist of your marriage. We don't know what's gone on
in your marriage to cause this conflict, to cause you
guys to be in this space. So, first of all,
I wanted to say I was glad you were walking
through it. With a pastor. But then for them to
say you should talk to other people, I don't know
if they meant counseling or other couples or that's kind
of vague. I would also say it's good that you
(47:21):
guys are trying to date each other again. You know,
I think a lot of couples they get into this
rut where they don't date each other. They get busy
with work or busy with kids, and they kind of
their husband or wife go on the back burner. So
you have to be intentional and make time and date
each other, which is great that you'll are doing that.
The whole thing about talking to another guy, I don't
know if that was through text or Facebook or if
(47:41):
that was in person. So while I agree with Granger
and saying you should swallow your pride and you should
try to you know, the verse in Corinthian says love
is not jealous, you have to try to try to
swallow that. I also think that coming from a woman,
if there was something that I knew would make my
husband jealous, I would try everything in my power not
(48:02):
to do it. So I'm not saying you can't ever
like say hello to somebody and be kind and cordial.
But if there's something that I know is gonna upset Granger,
if he was really didn't want me to talk to
another guy because he thought I was flirting, I wouldn't
do it.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
I'm not speaking for her. I'm just speaking for.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Biff, right, r right. He asked the question, So I
was just speaking for a woman's perspective. So yeah, I
don't know she's triggering him, Yeah, she's triggering. I would
just say, continue to seek wise counsel, continue to date
each other, and try to get back to that place
that you were. Like Granger said, I saw something the
other day that said, your marriage doesn't have to end,
(48:39):
but this version of your marriage can end. Like you,
guys can stop this right now. You don't have to
you don't have to get a divorce, you don't have
to be separated. You can just say, look, we're gonna
stop this right now. We're gonna choose each other. We're
going to date each other. We're going to see what
makes the other person upset. We're not going to do that.
We're going to pour into each other. And another thing
is I think it was John Hybrid that said the
(49:00):
best version that you can the best thing you can
do for your husband and your wife is to devote
time to your holiness. If you are seeking yourself to
be holy, you will do everything that the Bible says
to honor your husband or your wife. So, if you
guys are both chasing after Christ, you're gonna love each other.
You're gonna choose each other. You're gonna have that first
Corinthian's love. So I would say, work on your walk
(49:21):
with the Lord.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
And if that's so good, that's so good.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
You know you can't say that, If you can't say
I've put everything in God's hands.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
Oh, pray about it every day. I'm scared to death.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
I was gonna say. I was gonna say that too.
I've heard so many people say, I'm just giving it
to God. I'm just giving it up. I'm just gonna
let him do. Okay, Yes, we want to surrender everything
to God. But that's not a that's not passive.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Still, it's active, it's active faith. You're still going to
do things to work closer to your to your loved
one too, to choose them, to leave little notes for
them like you have to choose to do things to
show your love for them. You can't just say, oh,
I'm just giving up. I'm just giving it to God
and praying he's gonna do a miracle. Like no, you
have to be active in your relationship.
Speaker 3 (50:05):
So good. Thanks, love it.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
That's all I got, y'all. We'll see you next episode.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmasy. Thanks for joining me on the
Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little
like button and notification spell so that you never miss
anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yigi
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