February 21, 2019 • 7 mins
Yee Gives Advice To Someone Whose Boyfriend Has Been Cheating & Playing Both Sides Of The Field. Another Caller Wants To Know How Much Responsibility Should Be Put On Her Man!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi am Jamie and I'm Caitlin and we are hosts
of The Bechtel Cast on I Heart Radio. It's a
podcast about the portrayal of women in movies and how
it's generally not not very good good, in fact quite bad.
Some of my favorite examples that we've done recently are
Erin Brockovich and we also just did The Fifth Element.
Some of my favorite episodes have been ten Things I
(00:22):
Hate About You and Crewel Intentions. So check us out
and have your favorite movies ruined. Listen and subscribe to
The Bechtel Cast on the I Heart Radio app or
wherever you get your podcasts. Morning. Everybody is the j
Envy Angela, Ye, Charlemagne the guy, we are the Breakfast Club.
It's time to ask ye Angie. Good morning, Good morning guys. Angela.
(00:43):
Hey Angie, you remember I called you actually a few
weeks ago and I told you me and my flos
dad broke up, but I didn't know how to be
a good mom to him whatever. So um, now we
did break up, yes, but I found out that he
actually topped off by a man, and but we were
(01:04):
still like smashing, you know what I'm saying. And I'm
just like, I didn't confront him about it because I
don't even know how to handle anything. I would rather
he did that with a female and I can get
past it. But now it's so you're okay with him?
She didn't, depending on if it's a man of her woman.
But we're not together though, that's the thing. But we
(01:25):
were still smashing. But now I found out he got
topped off by a man? How did you find that out?
And out? Oh my god, that's startling me. Hi, I
love you. But he they called my phone? Who called phone?
The guy? Yeah it was a transgender. Yes, and they
(01:47):
sent me a video. Uh, and like oh you're a
man like us and blah blah. But I'm like, okay, um,
And I kind of didn't confront him about it. I'll
just ask him a little questions like so, where were
you on this day? Or are you gay? What you
have sex with a man? Well, of course he would
never admit it. How do I come at him about
it or do I just leave it alone? Well, first
(02:09):
of all, I don't know if you need him to
admit anything. You already know what it is, so it's
not a matter of you trying to trap him into something.
I think in a situation like this, the best thing
to do is be direct and honest, which is not
what he's been with you. But I think if you've
seen something and you have the evidence to show that
and you want to confront him about it, you're not
with him. You're not getting back together with him, right, Okay,
(02:32):
So I think you know if you want to tell him. Look,
I just want to let you know that this came across,
you know, my phone, and I spoke to this person
and I saw the video, so I'm aware of what
it is that you've been doing, that you've been cheating,
and I'm just putting it out there so you know,
and when you're ready to talk about it and discuss it,
and I'm ready to listen. But you're not gonna be
with him anyway. But you guys have a kid together,
(02:53):
so you do have to figure out how to co parents.
So there's in some way y'll have to be able
to communicate with each other and be at least honest
with each other about things. Yeah, and the fact that
I don't even know if he's been dealing with transperse
people whatever our whole relationship, how do I know that? Well,
you know what, don't even don't even worry about what
he's been doing. This, You're not going to be with him.
(03:15):
It's over. He's a cheater, he's a liar, he's not honest.
You can let him know this is what I do know.
But that relationship is over anyway. But you do have
to figure out how you guys can function together. And
I'm sure there's things that he's dealing with himself that
he doesn't know how to handle or how to be
honest about. Yeah, you know, so at the end of
(03:37):
the day, you want to make sure that he's a
great father. That's not you, that's not your man. Did
he have a noose around his neck? And well, I'm
sorry for your mama. Go get tested though, if you
just go get tested, definitely, okay, many times the type
of any cheating goes down, you definitely, any time many
cheating goes down, you get tested. Okay, thanks guys, alright,
(03:58):
Angie underscore queen and okay, I guess daddy and queen
a black queen you are You are not the b
J queen. The b J Queen called you for in
the middle of asking ye, hello, who's this? This is
Sabrina Carling. Good morning, Sabrina. What's your question for you?
(04:20):
My question for years? If I should make this step
forward and allowing my boyfriend to take charge of all
the responsibilities. I'm in school right now, and I'm also
working the third shift job, and he gave me the
option to stop working and focus solely on school. And
I'm kind of nervous about making that step because I've
always been a woman to depend on myself, and I'm
(04:43):
afraid to make that step because i don't want him to,
you know, feel differently about the situation, or feel overwhelm
and change his mind down the road, and I'll be
left looking stupid. I feel used to be because we're
still used to being independent and handling our own business.
It's hard for us to be lye on somebody, even
if that person is somebody who we love and we
want to invest in the future with. Now, would you
(05:04):
do that for him if you had the option? That's
the thing I did it for him. He just graduated
from law school and he's he's fresh in the in
the law business, so he hasn't you know, started making
a really really big checks yet. So I've done that
for him. You know why he was going through school.
He wasn't working and I was working, you know, so
(05:25):
why won't you let him do it for you? Honey?
That's your man. He was he went to do it.
And let me tell you something. Worst case scenario, let's
just say things don't work out right, but you're been
and you want to focus on school. Your job that
you're doing is not something that you you want to
keep doing, right, Yes, okay, So accept the help from
somebody that cares about you and loves you. It should
not be that hard for us to accept help. Worst
(05:47):
case scenario, things don't work out and now you gotta
go get a job and pick back up or you
left off. But if you're able to focus on school
and have less stress because he knows that he's investing
in your future and you're investing in your future. It's
not like he's saying, I'm gonna take care of you
and you're not doing anything. Okay, you know, so accept that.
That's I think that's a great thing. And be appreciative. Yes,
(06:07):
I I I'm very appreciative of when I am. It's
just it's just the fear that I have, you know, because,
like I said, people wake up feeling differently every day,
and I don't want him to wake up one day
feeling like it's too much for him. But Sabrina, you
are You're a smart woman. You're able to get another
job if necessary. So if things don't work out, you're
not gonna be stuck. Okay, so accept that. I thought
(06:30):
you've been telling me the whole time, but I'm just
hard headed, that's all. Yeah, listen, Yeah, man, I should
want to help you. I think that's dope. Yeah, I
do too. I appreciate it. Um, that's hey, y'all gave
me my final answer. I've been leaning towards it, but
I just wanted to hear a woman who always speaking
the truth. I wanted to hear the truth from a
woman who Thank you, Sabrina. I appreciate you and accept
(06:53):
that blessing. You deserve it, You're worth it. He loves you,
he wanst to invest in your future. You'll have to
be able to to try to see each other and
lean on each other, just like he leaned on you.
Now is you're trying to lean on him. You're right,
You're right, Thank you so much. All right, alright, good
love mama,
Hi am Jamie and I'm Caitlin and we are hosts
of The Bechtel Cast on I Heart Radio. It's a
podcast about the portrayal of women in movies and how
it's generally not not very good good, in fact quite bad.
Some of my favorite examples that we've done recently are
Erin Brockovich and we also just did The Fifth Element.
Some of my favorite episodes have been ten Things I
(00:22):
Hate About You and Crewel Intentions. So check us out
and have your favorite movies ruined. Listen and subscribe to
The Bechtel Cast on the I Heart Radio app or
wherever you get your podcasts. Morning. Everybody is the j
Envy Angela, Ye, Charlemagne the guy, we are the Breakfast Club.
It's time to ask ye Angie. Good morning, Good morning guys. Angela.
(00:43):
Hey Angie, you remember I called you actually a few
weeks ago and I told you me and my flos
dad broke up, but I didn't know how to be
a good mom to him whatever. So um, now we
did break up, yes, but I found out that he
actually topped off by a man, and but we were
(01:04):
still like smashing, you know what I'm saying. And I'm
just like, I didn't confront him about it because I
don't even know how to handle anything. I would rather
he did that with a female and I can get
past it. But now it's so you're okay with him?
She didn't, depending on if it's a man of her woman.
But we're not together though, that's the thing. But we
(01:25):
were still smashing. But now I found out he got
topped off by a man? How did you find that out?
And out? Oh my god, that's startling me. Hi, I
love you. But he they called my phone? Who called phone?
The guy? Yeah it was a transgender. Yes, and they
(01:47):
sent me a video. Uh, and like oh you're a
man like us and blah blah. But I'm like, okay, um,
And I kind of didn't confront him about it. I'll
just ask him a little questions like so, where were
you on this day? Or are you gay? What you
have sex with a man? Well, of course he would
never admit it. How do I come at him about
it or do I just leave it alone? Well, first
(02:09):
of all, I don't know if you need him to
admit anything. You already know what it is, so it's
not a matter of you trying to trap him into something.
I think in a situation like this, the best thing
to do is be direct and honest, which is not
what he's been with you. But I think if you've
seen something and you have the evidence to show that
and you want to confront him about it, you're not
with him. You're not getting back together with him, right, Okay,
(02:32):
So I think you know if you want to tell him. Look,
I just want to let you know that this came across,
you know, my phone, and I spoke to this person
and I saw the video, so I'm aware of what
it is that you've been doing, that you've been cheating,
and I'm just putting it out there so you know,
and when you're ready to talk about it and discuss it,
and I'm ready to listen. But you're not gonna be
with him anyway. But you guys have a kid together,
(02:53):
so you do have to figure out how to co parents.
So there's in some way y'll have to be able
to communicate with each other and be at least honest
with each other about things. Yeah, and the fact that
I don't even know if he's been dealing with transperse
people whatever our whole relationship, how do I know that? Well,
you know what, don't even don't even worry about what
he's been doing. This, You're not going to be with him.
(03:15):
It's over. He's a cheater, he's a liar, he's not honest.
You can let him know this is what I do know.
But that relationship is over anyway. But you do have
to figure out how you guys can function together. And
I'm sure there's things that he's dealing with himself that
he doesn't know how to handle or how to be
honest about. Yeah, you know, so at the end of
(03:37):
the day, you want to make sure that he's a
great father. That's not you, that's not your man. Did
he have a noose around his neck? And well, I'm
sorry for your mama. Go get tested though, if you
just go get tested, definitely, okay, many times the type
of any cheating goes down, you definitely, any time many
cheating goes down, you get tested. Okay, thanks guys, alright,
(03:58):
Angie underscore queen and okay, I guess daddy and queen
a black queen you are You are not the b
J queen. The b J Queen called you for in
the middle of asking ye, hello, who's this? This is
Sabrina Carling. Good morning, Sabrina. What's your question for you?
(04:20):
My question for years? If I should make this step
forward and allowing my boyfriend to take charge of all
the responsibilities. I'm in school right now, and I'm also
working the third shift job, and he gave me the
option to stop working and focus solely on school. And
I'm kind of nervous about making that step because I've
always been a woman to depend on myself, and I'm
(04:43):
afraid to make that step because i don't want him to,
you know, feel differently about the situation, or feel overwhelm
and change his mind down the road, and I'll be
left looking stupid. I feel used to be because we're
still used to being independent and handling our own business.
It's hard for us to be lye on somebody, even
if that person is somebody who we love and we
want to invest in the future with. Now, would you
(05:04):
do that for him if you had the option? That's
the thing I did it for him. He just graduated
from law school and he's he's fresh in the in
the law business, so he hasn't you know, started making
a really really big checks yet. So I've done that
for him. You know why he was going through school.
He wasn't working and I was working, you know, so
(05:25):
why won't you let him do it for you? Honey?
That's your man. He was he went to do it.
And let me tell you something. Worst case scenario, let's
just say things don't work out right, but you're been
and you want to focus on school. Your job that
you're doing is not something that you you want to
keep doing, right, Yes, okay, So accept the help from
somebody that cares about you and loves you. It should
not be that hard for us to accept help. Worst
(05:47):
case scenario, things don't work out and now you gotta
go get a job and pick back up or you
left off. But if you're able to focus on school
and have less stress because he knows that he's investing
in your future and you're investing in your future. It's
not like he's saying, I'm gonna take care of you
and you're not doing anything. Okay, you know, so accept that.
That's I think that's a great thing. And be appreciative. Yes,
(06:07):
I I I'm very appreciative of when I am. It's
just it's just the fear that I have, you know, because,
like I said, people wake up feeling differently every day,
and I don't want him to wake up one day
feeling like it's too much for him. But Sabrina, you
are You're a smart woman. You're able to get another
job if necessary. So if things don't work out, you're
not gonna be stuck. Okay, so accept that. I thought
(06:30):
you've been telling me the whole time, but I'm just
hard headed, that's all. Yeah, listen, Yeah, man, I should
want to help you. I think that's dope. Yeah, I
do too. I appreciate it. Um, that's hey, y'all gave
me my final answer. I've been leaning towards it, but
I just wanted to hear a woman who always speaking
the truth. I wanted to hear the truth from a
woman who Thank you, Sabrina. I appreciate you and accept
(06:53):
that blessing. You deserve it, You're worth it. He loves you,
he wanst to invest in your future. You'll have to
be able to to try to see each other and
lean on each other, just like he leaned on you.
Now is you're trying to lean on him. You're right,
You're right, Thank you so much. All right, alright, good
love mama,
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