My First Love

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Morning. Everybody is DJ Envy, Angela Yee, Charlemagne the guy.
We are to breakfast club. Time to ask ye hello?
Who's this? A? Hey, Alicia? What's your question for you?
When I was fifty, I met this dude. He was
like my first love, right and twenty years later, shoot,
we linked back up again. It's like magic. Shoot two
months later he schizophrenic, like literally diagnosed, and he'd be

(00:23):
having hell of behaviors and he's all alone. And I
don't know if I should leave his bass or stay
with him. So you would stay with him at his sympathy.
I love him, don't don't get it twisted. I do
love this man, but I have a whole fourteen year
old son who does not need to emulate anything he's
doing or see this situation. And I'm just stuck between

(00:45):
a rock and Harvey because I don't I don't know
what to do, all right, So I don't know what
to do everything outside of the equation. Are you in
love with him? This is somebody that you can see
as I am in love with him, But when he
does his stuff like it if it's pushing me farther
and farther and farther away, because top it all off,
he don't even believe he schizophrenic, so he's not on

(01:07):
any type of medication. He's not getting count is, but
he won't take it. He won't take it. He says
he don't need it, Like it's if I'm telling you
this level to this thing, like he thinks it's it's
some like scientific chip in his head type. It's crazy man, right,
And I'm trying to like push him in because I'm
in this field, like that's where I work, and I'm

(01:28):
trying to push him in the right direction. But the
more I push him is like the more you don't
believe that it is what it is. And I'm just like, bro,
you're doing too much, right. You know. It's interesting. We
had Ayana van Zan up here the other day and
she was talking about the whole putting an oxygen mask
on yourself so that you could save somebody else, and
it sounds like this whole thing has been a lot
for you. But you do love him, but he needs

(01:48):
to get the help that he uh definitely requires, or
else you can't stay with him because again, you have
other things that are priorities to you, like your fourteen
year old and so sometimes you stay with people just
because you are in love with him, but unfortunately there's
no consequences. Whereas he's doing what he's doing, he's not

(02:09):
getting help for it. He's denying that he has a problem,
but you're not going anywhere, so he feels secure in
the fact that you're gonna be there regardless. And maybe
the only way for you to help him help himself
is for you to leave him. Angela, I haven't spoken
him to the last two days, Like I'm not like
he's doing too much and he has no family or anybody,

(02:30):
no no family, his mother died and family don't talk
to the rest of them live down south, and it's
just like, wow, what did I jump into him? Right?
It sounds like it's a lot out of hand. I
feel bad like m but at the end of the day,
I have my own like right, it sounds like when
you wait, when you weigh the good and the bad
out of it, there's a lot more that's negative for
you right now, absolutely than positive. It's like a moral dilemma,

(02:53):
like damn, I was just gonna leave him like this,
But you can't help yourself, man, right, You can help
yourself though, And look I think it's important for you
to let him know about the resources that are available
to him and when he's ready to get help. Hopefully
he does, But if you can't get him to do that,
then I think you have to worry about you. Thank you.
Basically what I need from other people. Everybody helps. Okay, well, no,

(03:18):
I understand, and you know what, Hopefully further on down
the line, he will get the help that he needs
and maybe you can revisit it then. But until that happens,
you can't put yourself in danger or your son. Absolutely right, alright,
you have a great morning. Thank you you too, alright,
Ask ye five five one O five one if you
need relationship advice and any type of advice, call ye. Now.

(03:40):
Is the breakfast club? Good morning morning. Everybody is d
j Envy, Angela Yee, Charlemagne the guy we are the
breakfast Club. In the middle of asking ye, Hello, who's
this hi, I don't want to give my names, so
I'm gonna say it's anonymous. Alright, anonymous. Now where you're
calling from from New York, everybody's gonna know your voice book.
What's your question? UM? I have a questions? Free? Um,

(04:01):
he's some dealing with someone for about six months now,
and um, we have kind of a long relationship. He
lives in New Jersey. I live over here in New York.
The thing is, um, I only see him on the weekends,
and when we're together it's great, But during the week
I don't see him at all and we barely talk.

(04:21):
It's mostly you know, we talk be a tex since
he's not a person that likes to be on the
phone too much, and so I what does that even mean?
He doesn't like now, by the way, New Jersey and
New York and not that fire. So it's not like
it's a long distance Yeah, no, no it's not. But
you know, I just, you know, I have my kids,
I have my life if I have my family here
in New York, So it's kind of hard mingling both

(04:42):
who are you know, my life which did together? So
it's just you know, and the fact that I'm just
going through some rough terms right now. I don't feel
really supported by him because he he just doesn't like
to talk on the phone, so everything be a text.
So I just feel like it's really impersonal. And when
I brought it to his attention, to just was like,
I'm making a big thing out of nothing. So I
just wanted to know what you thought about that. Okay,

(05:04):
So how long have you guys been dating. It's been
about six months six months, so it's still relatively new.
Have you been to his house? Yes? Like I said,
I go on the weekend. Okay, And and there's no
issues with that. So what is what is your heart?
Tell you was going on here? You think he just
really doesn't like to talk on the phone during the week. Yeah,

(05:25):
that's what he says. I don't like, I don't really
have any you know, feelings that he's cheating or doing
anything like that. It's just I just don't feel like,
you know, I feel like I only have a boyfriend
on the weekend. In the week when I'm going through
my stuff, I just don't feel supported. And what happens
when you call him? Does he answer the phone when
you call him? No, he doesn't answer the phone, And um,

(05:46):
what you know? Yeah, no, he doesn't answer the phone. Yeah,
I think, and this is your Is this your boyfriend
or just somebody that you're dealing with and he's supposed
to be my boyfriend? Okay, So you'll have that discussion.
You guys are in a monogamous relationship. You're ending on
eventually taking this further, Yes, but I just don't, you know,
like I don't. That's just a big rest for me

(06:07):
if I can't. Yeah, that isn't. He should be able
to answer the phone when you call. He should want
to talk to you on the phone and not just
text you during the week because it's not just the
weekend relationship. Have you tried to make plans with him
during the week ever. I know you're busy as well,
but yeah, like the thing is, like, I you know,
I se him on the weekend sometimes if I can

(06:29):
get over there during the week, i'd go. But another
issue is that I have, you know, kids, and um,
you know, when I go to see him on the weekends,
I don't take my kids. Um, and that's another issue
that I'm having. So when I raided that, you know,
he doesn't really say too much about it, but he's
just not I don't know, it's just like it's just weird.
I just don't see. It feels like emotionally, you're not

(06:51):
getting what you need out of this relationship. Yeah. Basically,
so if he's not willing to compromise with you and
I compromise that he come to see you or you
always have to go see him. You know, have you
introduced your children to him? Are you planning to integrate
him in your life that way or is that something
you're not ready to do yet. You know, I try,
I want to, but it's just I feel like he's
just not ready for those things. And um, I know everything,

(07:17):
just like you know. I don't know what. It has
only been six months, so I can understand that. But
I think you need to let him know what you
need and if he can't fulfill those needs for you,
then it might mean that perhaps he's not uh in
a state of mind to be in a series of
as a relationship as you want to be. And what
I mean, it's just be specific. I would say, look,
I need you to be able to have phone conversations

(07:38):
with me. And I'm not saying you gotta talk to
me all day every day, but I would love to
hear your voice since you're my boyfriend, at some point
during the day before I go to bed. I would
not want to feel like I'm bothering you if I
want to speak to you, and I would love for
you to actually during the week, maybe we can have
lunch or dinner at least once during the week so
we can just talk. And I think it's important for
you to be mindful of what you're speaking about when
you talk to him, you know, make make sure that

(07:59):
you also have conversations that he enjoys having to. Yes,
I understand that, and I think I have more all
these things to his attention. But it's just like he's
just like, um, just you know, I'm during the week,
I'm at work and I'm on the phone or or
you know, all things. Well, you know, I'll say I'll
say this. If he can't do the things that you

(08:19):
need him to do and compromise with you, then you know,
sometimes he just feels like, well, she'll just have to
settle for what I want. But you can't ever settle.
So if he's not going to do those things and
there has to be some type of consequences to that,
and if those consequences mean, look, I'm taking my life
very seriously. And if we can't agree on these things
and come to some sort of compromise and you don't
make an effort, then I don't know if this is right.

(08:41):
All right, Thank you so much to Okay you're welcome.
I hope you'all work it out though. Yes, thanks, Shana man.
I just wanted to tell you that my son loves
you very much and I love him too. Tell him
I love him? And how old is he? Okay? Tell him?
Black men no cheat? Let's get him started. Oh my goodness,
who's this? Hey Kristin? Good morning? Good morning, Hey Kristin.

(09:04):
Why are you sound so down? Okay, what's up? What's
your question for you? So? My questions, well, why is
it that the black men who are always cheating? One's
saying they don't? I mean, I think that's self explanatory.
What she saying. I didn't hear her. My ears are
blocked from Satan today. She said, why are the black

(09:26):
men that saying black men don't cheat? Are the ones
running around cheating? Because they're not black men. They're black boys?
Are They're black? Real and word, it's a difference. First
corinth In thirteen eleven. Okay, those of us who have
put the ways of childhood behind us and have embraced manhood,
we're not out here cheating. We're focused on our faithfulness.
Do you understand that, man, you're still childish? Maybe childish

(09:47):
in some areas, but not when it comes to fidelity.
My queen Christen, what's been your experience? BROA little guy
we're talking to for that good three months I did.
My investification is not that had a whole girlfriend. You
know he was dating a black boy, a black grown boy,
a black reil and word. I don't like you trying
to I don't like you calling up here. You know

(10:08):
what I'm saying, insulting our progress because no disrespect. You
sound like your heavy set. If you were just start
losing weight, If you was to start losing weight, I
wouldn't say what is her weight? Have to do it?
Because if she got skinny, I wouldn't say you used
to be fat. I wouldn't keep bringing that up. I'd
encourage her. I'd say, good job, my congratulations. You know
what I'm saying, I'm glad that you're on the right track. Now,

(10:29):
that's what you should be doing. Encouraging with your brothers.
How much do you stop at? Oh listen, y'all gonna
listen to. What I'm saying is if you started to
lose weight, I would encourage you. Okay, So if you
see brothers changing their narratives and perfectly what he says,
he's perfectly fine. I ain't saying you're not. I'm just

(10:49):
saying that if you ever decided you wanted to lose weight,
I don't know, maybe for health purposes, I would encourage you. Listen.
Thank you for calling, for asking and expressing yourself. I
appreciate you. I love you. How are you enough? Envy
vending machine, stop stopping, Have a good morning moment, and
remember this. Black black men don't cheat. Okay, alright, well

(11:11):
we got rooms on the way. Yes, that's talk about
Miley Cyrus. She has issued an apology and we'll tell
you what she's apologizing for. And it has to do
we're hip hop, all right. We'll get into that next.
Keep a lock, just to