May 9, 2024 • 22 mins
Paulie & Tony react to the TOTALLY UNFUNNY roast of Tom Brady and explain how they would've made it MUCH FUNNIER. Then they bring on RUDE Dallas Cowboys writer RJ Ochoa and do a EVEN FUNNIER roast of Dak Prescott. They also discuss some very DISTURBING stories out of the NBA about Nikola Jokic and Rudy Gobert.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following content does not reflect the opinions of Fox
Sports Radio. How many times am I going to have
to say that?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
All right, all right, gomen do your life from Philly.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's the number one rated Polly and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Foolsco Show, y'all always Polly Fosco here with Tony Foolsco
and Tony Huge Show. We're going to give you our
reaction to this Tom Brady roast that people are calling
funny funny.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
It was not funny at all, not even a little.
We'll talk a.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Little NBA, but that's all you're getting people, because nobody
cares anymore.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
No, everybody's lost interest already, Nobody cares anymore.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
That's you.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, we can read the room, can't we. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That's why we're gonna do a lot of NFL talk today,
give the people what they wanted. You know, we're bringing
on someone who has literally the worst job in the
whole world. He's a Dallas Cowboys flock. Can you think
of a sadder existence? Anyway, You'm gonna get his reaction
to some bizarre stories out of Dallas, and we're gonna
we're gonna pull a little surprise on him that he's
(01:10):
gonna love anyway, jail shower. But before all that, you know,
due to a gag order about our gambling app, FUSCO,
bet we're unable to discuss the government's ongoing criminal investigation
against us for what they call illegal offshore gambling activities
whatever that means.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Who knows what that means.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
But let's just say you can bet that the judge
is gonna have some problems starting his car.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, sure, bet on that one.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
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Shipments must be delivered to the western part of Missouri.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Okay, that's the check in the mad and the mother
checking the mail. And he is our top story story,
all right, our top story you know, all over our
social medias this week. You know, people they've been sharing
clips from this Tom Brady roast and saying it was
the funniest thing ever and whatnot. It wasn't funny in
(02:59):
the lightest. I mean, not funny at all, right, Tony,
not even a little bit. You know, first of all,
it was supposed to be a comedy. Where were all
the comedians. You know, if you're gonna have a roast, you.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Gotta invite actual funny people like Carrot Top, Jeff Dunham, Galiga.
I mean, you know, instead of hurling insults, Gallagher would
be hurling fru. You know, he'd be like, you want
to see the flating, and then he'd smash a watermelon
painted as a football and splattered the entire front row.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Now, that's comedy exactly. And you know who else they
should have had up at Tony who? Jeff Foxworth? Great?
Like he could have been like you might be.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
A New England Patriot if you cheat at football, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Would have brought the house down.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, exactly. And you know all those jokes, they don't
so called jokes. They were terrible. I mean, you know, Tony,
you and I. I mean we sat down right before
the show. It took us what two minutes if we
came up with got ten times better jokes than that?
Exactly why you hit him with one? Now we have
people listen to this.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Ye wait till you hear this one.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Hey, Tom Brady, you know I looked up your stats
and it says you got sacked a lot. Oh wait, sorry,
that says you sucked a lot. Oh wait for this one.
It's even funny. Hey Tom Brady, you're famous for telling
(04:34):
people to eat. Right now, I'm gonna tell you to eat.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Oh what what's with you? Back then produced to look
at him. He's not laughing at.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
All because it wasn't funny.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
He doesn't get the nuance. He's a comedy. Get comedy,
doesn't get cock in the mirror. That's funny.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, there you go. Anyway, all right, let's just move on.
Staying in football, another strange story. After a recent practice,
Bengals QB coach Brad Kragthorpe said, Joe Burrow quote looked
like that Joe Burrow were used to seeing.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I didn't see any difference. This is a very bizarre quote,
isn't it? Doning?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, of course he looks like Joe Burrow. That's because
he is Joe Burrow. Who else is he gonna look
like Lamar Jackson? I mean, you know, unless you know
when they did the surgery on Burrow, they also did
the surgery like from that movie Face Off.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
You know, that would be interesting.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Imagine if you're the Steelers defense and you're playing the
Bengals and then you see John Travolta come in at quarterback.
Then you're like, wait a minute, John Travolta's playing quarterback,
what's going on here? The next thing you know, boom,
steel is a down fourteen to nothing.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Just the very thought.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Provoking analysis there. Tony and were moving to the NBA
playoffs that nobody cares about it. Nobody can on Nuggets. Well,
they find themselves in trouble, not only because they getting
exposed by the Timberwolves, but because of what Nicola Jokic
said after the game the other night. He's asked about
the Nuggets and if they can stop in Minnesota, Jokic
said they need quote a duplicate.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Clone of him. Wow. And this is just a very
troubling isn't it, Dony.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
You know, Jokic saying he wants to be cloned shows
why he's not a great leader. We all know what
can go wrong with cloning. Of course, I'm talking about
the great Arnold Schwarzeneger movie The Sixth Day. You know,
if you have a clone, he's gonna start taking over
your life. He could steal your family, have sex with
your wife. You know, it's a very scary thing. Frankly,
(06:50):
I think Nicola Jokic needs to think before he says
such ridiculous stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Just terrifically said Tony.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
And you know, another troubling situation we saw here t
Wolves sent their Rudy Gobert. You know, he missed game
two of the series so he could be present for
the birth of his first child. Wow, you know, Dony,
this is just so much more of this pathetic skinny
jean softness that we're seeing out of these modern NBA players.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean, isn't this just a pathetic isn't.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
It absolutely what happened to real men in the NBA.
They wouldn't even miss a Tuesday night regular season game
to see their child get born. You know, in fact,
they'd ignore the child for the first eighteen years of
its life just to win a title. That's real dedication.
And think about it. You go see your child get born,
(07:38):
what's the first thing that kid's gonna see.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
It's you skipping out on work. Just a terrible example
to set for a newborn child. Just so well, said Tony.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And on the subject of terrible examples, we must address
the utterly disgusting behavior from Bucks player Patrick Bev Horrible
bro refused to speak to a reporter just because she
wasn't subscribed to his podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Unreal.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You know, it's just so shameful to see someone behave
so pathetically embarrassed just to promote that podcast, you know,
and desperately try to get subscribers. So, you know, frankly,
I just can't what was what was that?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Oh sorry, hold on just a second, Paulae, someone's at
the door. It's probably that package I ordered. Just give
me one second, you know, just take the time right now,
one second. Okay, yo, bro, thank you for delivering this package.
You know, these are items I ordered from the Merstore
(08:40):
for my number one hit show, which is available on
all major podcast platforms in YouTube.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Uh do you subscribe to it? What do you mean?
Speaker 5 (08:50):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Think am I driveway? You ridiculous, unbelievable. We're still going.
We rolling all good here.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
In fact, I see our guests coming on the line,
so it's good timing. So let's go ahead and bring
him on the Fusco Satellite Network Satellite World. You know,
usually we do intros on this show and try to
say at least, you know, one positive thing about the guest.
You know, don't take this personally, bro, but you know,
we couldn't find one.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Good thing to say about you.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I mean, maybe that you've been on this show before.
That's frankly, you were bad. Then all we can say
is that this guy right here, he's got the worst
job Bobbly of all times, manager and editor of Blogging
the Boys, which covers the Dallas Cowboys. So that's all
you need to know. God Jaho, welcome back.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
To the show. Welcome back.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Great to be back, guys. I had some spare time
that you know, I couldn't find any other better use for.
And so after forty you know, forty three different attempts,
I settled on this and said, why not. I mean,
I'm sitting at the desk anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Well, maybe you should have used the forty fourth to
write a better opening line.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, you know, that's all right.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know, we know cowboys that crumble under the pressures.
They just can't perform in the moment.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
We get it. Okay, we'll do the performing. You know.
You just you just sit back and try to answer
these questions. Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So first of all, oh, Jay, you know, we're three
months into the NFL offseason and so far, the biggest
move your team has made is signing their old running
back Ezekiel Elliott. Now you're an insider, so they say,
was this because other equally agile running backs like Frank
Gore and Clinton Portis were unavailable.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I won't lie to either of you because I respect
you know both of you too much, you know that
particular regard. But this isn't a move that I, you know,
freaked out about, especially the fact that the Cowboys are
giving him number fifteen. It feels like a big, old
corporate ploy. But I will say, at least the Cowboys
brought back their own, you know, their own washed up
running back, not the New York Giants old washed up
running back like the Eagles did. I mean, you know,
(11:04):
it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
He's in his prime.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
He went to the house Penn State doing. They're the
big ten school with the most recent national championship.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
What this is called is called the distraction.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
This is.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, you can't answer the questions.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I mean, again, I'm not thrilled about the Zeke return,
so I'm just trying to drag everybody down with me.
But the good news is the Eagles have done that
to themselves, despite Howie Roseman drafting Daniel Jeremiah's big board
and getting, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Here we go. He's jealous, I love Howie.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Jealous of Howie, and I am jealous. I mean, but
you know you're jealous a place where it's easy to
be jealous of.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
You're jealous because our team actually made moves in the
off season.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I mean, you run this blog. What the hell were
you sitting writing about like fan fiction?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
I'll be straight up with both of you. I respect
the Eagles greatly and mightily, much to my own person displeasure. However,
the thing that I respect the least about them is
that they work so much harder than the Cowboys, significantly harder.
They look under way more rocks than the cowboys do,
and they lose to the Cowboys over and over and
over again. So I just find it amazing that, given
(12:15):
the wide disparity in terms of what is put into
the project, that the Eagles still are the little brothers
in this question.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Bro, you know you had it wrong. You said that
the Eagles work harder. No, they work smarter. Bro, Why
would you spend weeks and weeks of doing research when
you could just google Daniel Jeremiah's draft board and be.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Like, bull, exactly, we're done right there. There you go.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
You could also just bring back a player who played
very well for you instead of you know me. Imagine
Tony a whole new person into the player database system
and getting a whole new person in HR's overall ecosystem.
The Cowboys did not do those. It was efficient.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
You know enough of this, all right, let's talk about
you for a second. Good segue.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You know your writers like you. You think you're so
clever with the analogies you come up with, your assimiles
and whatnot. The other day we saw you on this
k Adams show. You said that the Ezekiel Elliott reunion
is like the show Girl Meets World. So we have
a question who was the target audience for that comment
and also what great are they in?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Uh So, it's based on the original ninety show Boy
Meets World, which in reality had a spin off like
twenty five years later where the main person's child was
in school kind of followed the same path. I figured,
as diehard Philadelphia fans, you would know this, given that
the show allegedly took place in the city of brother
They love. Goes to show how inauthentic you both are.
Now we know the show bro it does speak to
(13:37):
the cowboys just trying to tie themselves to the past.
They've been accused of that a lot recently, but the
Zeke thing is a case steady example. But again, good
job by you guys not knowing anything about thee.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Well no, now the one who doesn't know no, because
you don't know how to talk to an audience. I mean,
you got to come up with better references. I mean, Tony,
give them a better reference than that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, well, did you guys hear it? Did it work?
You're talking about it?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
We were so taken aback by it. We would take
it here to help you, bro. We want to show
you how it's done.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Bro.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
But if it if it hit, and if it worked
and it created discussion and challenged us all intellectually, I feel.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Like if there's challenged intellectually, listen to everything. Watch this, bro,
This is how you do an analogy.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Bro? What about you know? Different strokes?
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Jerry Jones is kind of like Philip Drummond who adopts
these two kids. Instead of Willis and Arnold, you have
Dak and Zeke. Isn't that better?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
See? I understand that that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I don't. I didn't watch that.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You disrespect different strokes, bro? You can okay?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
All right?
Speaker 3 (14:43):
He's another one. What about small Wonda? You know Zeke,
he's gonna have to compete. He's gonna have to compete
for a spot with running back Deuce Vaughan who's three
foot six you knowey?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Plus can they be accessed on the internet?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
You can't than me?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
How old are you?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I'm thirty four years old, and I'm also old enough
to you've.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Got to be old. One of my stand the business.
That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
We're trying to teach your age verification for guests on
this showy. Look, let's talk Dak Prescott. Right, he's entering
a contract here, right, you know he could potentially become
a free agent, right, yeah, if you had the guests
right now, which team will Doak Prescott play for next
year in the UFL.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I'm not familiar with the UFL teams obviously, but I
say that he doesn't know.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Hold on, you don't know small wonder, you don't know
different strokes UFL.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Yeah, Ago bro really far back, But I will say
that my deepest fhere, if you would like to know,
is uh is the idea of Dak Prescott planning for
the New York Giants in twenty twenty five. That's that
would be a good thing to win you, Okay, that
would be more losses for you, though.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Bron kidding, media break please you know you.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Was likely eight and three lifetime record against the Eagles.
There's a lot of talk coming from a very very small.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Please hoo he beat Gardner, Minshew, come on please that
doesn't count.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Bro, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
And Carson Wentz your former favorite song, it doesn't count.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Exactly, Bro, don't we don't count. We don't talk about that.
That doesn't count. Bro, you got it, You got see.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
You gotta pick the games that actually count. And when
you look at that, he's oho and two. It's just
very simple to see, ye exactly.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
You know.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I know you're young.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Your mommy may maybe not let you stay up to
watch this, But do you see that Tom Brady roast?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
You watch it?
Speaker 4 (16:42):
I did? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I funny was that? How horrible was it?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Bro?
Speaker 4 (16:47):
It was the second funniest thing I've seen this week.
Obviously thought it was funny, but I actually do you
want to pay you a compliment? I thought it was
kind of cowardly how they avoided the subject of Nick Foles.
If you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
It, exactly, there you go, Bro.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Finally took forever, but we got a good, solid take
right there.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Bro, Here is something out they're very familiar with, talking
a lot about Dak Prescott.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
But you know, let me teach you something about comedy
in the way it works. Because you're very young, you know,
you don't know you're watching these shows Girl Meets World.
You've never seen a classic like different Strokes. You don't
know comedy.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Know what the people like?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
They like topical humor. Right, you get a guy like
Tom Brady. He's old and retired. That's why we got
a better idea for you. You're gonna love this. You're gonna
love this. Listen a roast of Dak Prescott. Don't you
think that would be a better idea.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
It would if the Eagles could qualify to do it,
but they can't.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
You you know, you can't even answer a question. Bro,
We give you a question and then you got to
go in a whole nother director.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
You have to hear you da.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
I will give each of you one roast.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
We have several here, bro Tony read him some of
these jokes. You're gonna love them.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
You're gonna lid to this one. This one's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
You know, you know Dak Prescott was born in the
town of Solfa, Louisiana, which makes total sense because he stinks.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Oh that's very funny.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Sorry it wasn't Girl Meets World. Yeah, exactly, bro.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
To be clear, I never watched Girl Meets World. My
point of reference is about boy meets.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Didn't have enough hold on. We'll give you another one here,
Tony hit him with another one.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
You know, people forget that Dak's middle name is Rain. Well, Dak,
you remind me of Rain, depressing to watch.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Oh you've done that?
Speaker 4 (18:43):
He doesn't get it gets is quite pleasant.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Deliberating experience. Of course he does.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Dude, dude, you don't have a sense of humor. You're
not all right here?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
All right? Maybe he needs a different style. Here we go.
If you ready for this, here we are.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
You know, Dak is short for Dakota, which reminds me
of South Dakota, which was the thirty ninth state in
the Union. And you know what's also thirty ninth dak
among all NFL qbs.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Oh, get done that?
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I would offer the referenced It was the thirty ninth
state in the Union. And it's this whole diet trabigan
around Tom Brady's roast, Tom Brady's New England Patriots beat Philadelphiegals.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Get out of it here, bro, he's gotta.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
World.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
You know what. Guess what a j o'chowa you know
what that rhymes with?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, the get out you are the biggest buns killed.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Get out.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Can't take a bunch of directions.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
The only direction you should go show is he off
the lone day, hang up the phone.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You can't bring these young kids on a show. Get references.
It's like exacts.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
It's like I'm going through growing pains talking to young
people like this.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, anyway, let's not let him ruin, which was a
terrific show.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
No, they want to thank our sponsor for of course.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Ups if it isn't someone i'd like say to the
bottom of the ocean.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, producing j what corrections? Why hurry up?
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Just go? You actually believed Nikola Jokic said he wanted
to clone himself.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, that's what he said. Bro. Read the news, bro, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
No he was.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
He was obviously joking. You clearly just read a headline
and didn't bother reading the rest of the story.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Oh yeah, well, uh after the show, I'm going to
give you a rest for eternity.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Yeah, I can't wait to read a story about you
in the obituary section. Oh you had done let's get
out of his shows.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Another thing you said the center for the te wolves
was Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, bro, Yeah, that's his name. Bro. Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Do you do you even watch basketball? It's Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Oh yeah, well I can't wait, though, murderer, you yeah,
and I can't wait to shoot you with my revolve there.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh, or let's get out of here. We're finished.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
What go?
Speaker 5 (21:29):
You said you wanted to see the comedian Gallagher at
the Tom Brady Rose. Yea.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
It would have been ten times funnier, Bro, much funnier, bro.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Yeah, that probably would have been hard to pull off.
Concidering Gallagher died two years ago.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Oh yeah, well you know who else should have died
two years ago?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
You?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah? And you know what, roast.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I can't wait to see when we burn your body alive?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Oh I didn't wait for Dony looked on the show.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Now this is a booking.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Super Bowl hero Eagles legend Nick Foles Away.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Go to Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Great review this show and support the merch store that
special Fusco bet merch and support our case against the government.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Ten day, Tony, great job, as always saying to you, Paully,
another falls show. Therego, We'll see people next week. To
see y'all, Okay,
The following content does not reflect the opinions of Fox
Sports Radio. How many times am I going to have
to say that?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
All right, all right, gomen do your life from Philly.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's the number one rated Polly and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Foolsco Show, y'all always Polly Fosco here with Tony Foolsco
and Tony Huge Show. We're going to give you our
reaction to this Tom Brady roast that people are calling
funny funny.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
It was not funny at all, not even a little.
We'll talk a.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Little NBA, but that's all you're getting people, because nobody
cares anymore.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
No, everybody's lost interest already, Nobody cares anymore.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
That's you.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, we can read the room, can't we. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That's why we're gonna do a lot of NFL talk today,
give the people what they wanted. You know, we're bringing
on someone who has literally the worst job in the
whole world. He's a Dallas Cowboys flock. Can you think
of a sadder existence? Anyway, You'm gonna get his reaction
to some bizarre stories out of Dallas, and we're gonna
we're gonna pull a little surprise on him that he's
(01:10):
gonna love anyway, jail shower. But before all that, you know,
due to a gag order about our gambling app, FUSCO,
bet we're unable to discuss the government's ongoing criminal investigation
against us for what they call illegal offshore gambling activities
whatever that means.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Who knows what that means.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
But let's just say you can bet that the judge
is gonna have some problems starting his car.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, sure, bet on that one.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
We are back in business with our advertisers, so it's
time for a word from our good friends at our
newest sponsor UPS. Do you use the postal service to
ship your packages? Well, that's exactly what the government wants
you to do, you fool. In fact, Tony, you just
ordered several items from our merch store and you made
sure to use YOURPS, didn't you.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yeah, you know, it's so important to have a delivery
service that you can trust and that's not run by
a tyrannical government which restricts a totally legal betting app.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
In fact, the other day, my aunt.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Marie's boyfriend Nunzio just got a job working for a
delivery service and he told me he was gonna deliver
a huge package.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
To my aunt. And then I thought, well, you know what,
mother can cross that anyway. You'll bes dot com.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Now enter the PRUMO code FUSCO for one hundred dollars
off your next shipment.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Shipments must be delivered to the western part of Missouri.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Okay, that's the check in the mad and the mother
checking the mail. And he is our top story story,
all right, our top story you know, all over our
social medias this week. You know, people they've been sharing
clips from this Tom Brady roast and saying it was
the funniest thing ever and whatnot. It wasn't funny in
(02:59):
the lightest. I mean, not funny at all, right, Tony,
not even a little bit. You know, first of all,
it was supposed to be a comedy. Where were all
the comedians. You know, if you're gonna have a roast, you.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Gotta invite actual funny people like Carrot Top, Jeff Dunham, Galiga.
I mean, you know, instead of hurling insults, Gallagher would
be hurling fru. You know, he'd be like, you want
to see the flating, and then he'd smash a watermelon
painted as a football and splattered the entire front row.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Now, that's comedy exactly. And you know who else they
should have had up at Tony who? Jeff Foxworth? Great?
Like he could have been like you might be.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
A New England Patriot if you cheat at football, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Would have brought the house down.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, exactly. And you know all those jokes, they don't
so called jokes. They were terrible. I mean, you know, Tony,
you and I. I mean we sat down right before
the show. It took us what two minutes if we
came up with got ten times better jokes than that?
Exactly why you hit him with one? Now we have
people listen to this.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Ye wait till you hear this one.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Hey, Tom Brady, you know I looked up your stats
and it says you got sacked a lot. Oh wait, sorry,
that says you sucked a lot. Oh wait for this one.
It's even funny. Hey Tom Brady, you're famous for telling
(04:34):
people to eat. Right now, I'm gonna tell you to eat.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Oh what what's with you? Back then produced to look
at him. He's not laughing at.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
All because it wasn't funny.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
He doesn't get the nuance. He's a comedy. Get comedy,
doesn't get cock in the mirror. That's funny.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, there you go. Anyway, all right, let's just move on.
Staying in football, another strange story. After a recent practice,
Bengals QB coach Brad Kragthorpe said, Joe Burrow quote looked
like that Joe Burrow were used to seeing.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I didn't see any difference. This is a very bizarre quote,
isn't it? Doning?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, of course he looks like Joe Burrow. That's because
he is Joe Burrow. Who else is he gonna look
like Lamar Jackson? I mean, you know, unless you know
when they did the surgery on Burrow, they also did
the surgery like from that movie Face Off.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
You know, that would be interesting.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Imagine if you're the Steelers defense and you're playing the
Bengals and then you see John Travolta come in at quarterback.
Then you're like, wait a minute, John Travolta's playing quarterback,
what's going on here? The next thing you know, boom,
steel is a down fourteen to nothing.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Just the very thought.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Provoking analysis there. Tony and were moving to the NBA
playoffs that nobody cares about it. Nobody can on Nuggets. Well,
they find themselves in trouble, not only because they getting
exposed by the Timberwolves, but because of what Nicola Jokic
said after the game the other night. He's asked about
the Nuggets and if they can stop in Minnesota, Jokic
said they need quote a duplicate.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Clone of him. Wow. And this is just a very
troubling isn't it, Dony.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
You know, Jokic saying he wants to be cloned shows
why he's not a great leader. We all know what
can go wrong with cloning. Of course, I'm talking about
the great Arnold Schwarzeneger movie The Sixth Day. You know,
if you have a clone, he's gonna start taking over
your life. He could steal your family, have sex with
your wife. You know, it's a very scary thing. Frankly,
(06:50):
I think Nicola Jokic needs to think before he says
such ridiculous stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Just terrifically said Tony.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
And you know, another troubling situation we saw here t
Wolves sent their Rudy Gobert. You know, he missed game
two of the series so he could be present for
the birth of his first child. Wow, you know, Dony,
this is just so much more of this pathetic skinny
jean softness that we're seeing out of these modern NBA players.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean, isn't this just a pathetic isn't.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
It absolutely what happened to real men in the NBA.
They wouldn't even miss a Tuesday night regular season game
to see their child get born. You know, in fact,
they'd ignore the child for the first eighteen years of
its life just to win a title. That's real dedication.
And think about it. You go see your child get born,
(07:38):
what's the first thing that kid's gonna see.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
It's you skipping out on work. Just a terrible example
to set for a newborn child. Just so well, said Tony.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And on the subject of terrible examples, we must address
the utterly disgusting behavior from Bucks player Patrick Bev Horrible
bro refused to speak to a reporter just because she
wasn't subscribed to his podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Unreal.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You know, it's just so shameful to see someone behave
so pathetically embarrassed just to promote that podcast, you know,
and desperately try to get subscribers. So, you know, frankly,
I just can't what was what was that?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Oh sorry, hold on just a second, Paulae, someone's at
the door. It's probably that package I ordered. Just give
me one second, you know, just take the time right now,
one second. Okay, yo, bro, thank you for delivering this package.
You know, these are items I ordered from the Merstore
(08:40):
for my number one hit show, which is available on
all major podcast platforms in YouTube.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Uh do you subscribe to it? What do you mean?
Speaker 5 (08:50):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Think am I driveway? You ridiculous, unbelievable. We're still going.
We rolling all good here.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
In fact, I see our guests coming on the line,
so it's good timing. So let's go ahead and bring
him on the Fusco Satellite Network Satellite World. You know,
usually we do intros on this show and try to
say at least, you know, one positive thing about the guest.
You know, don't take this personally, bro, but you know,
we couldn't find one.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Good thing to say about you.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I mean, maybe that you've been on this show before.
That's frankly, you were bad. Then all we can say
is that this guy right here, he's got the worst
job Bobbly of all times, manager and editor of Blogging
the Boys, which covers the Dallas Cowboys. So that's all
you need to know. God Jaho, welcome back.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
To the show. Welcome back.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Great to be back, guys. I had some spare time
that you know, I couldn't find any other better use for.
And so after forty you know, forty three different attempts,
I settled on this and said, why not. I mean,
I'm sitting at the desk anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Well, maybe you should have used the forty fourth to
write a better opening line.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, you know, that's all right.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know, we know cowboys that crumble under the pressures.
They just can't perform in the moment.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
We get it. Okay, we'll do the performing. You know.
You just you just sit back and try to answer
these questions. Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So first of all, oh, Jay, you know, we're three
months into the NFL offseason and so far, the biggest
move your team has made is signing their old running
back Ezekiel Elliott. Now you're an insider, so they say,
was this because other equally agile running backs like Frank
Gore and Clinton Portis were unavailable.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I won't lie to either of you because I respect
you know both of you too much, you know that
particular regard. But this isn't a move that I, you know,
freaked out about, especially the fact that the Cowboys are
giving him number fifteen. It feels like a big, old
corporate ploy. But I will say, at least the Cowboys
brought back their own, you know, their own washed up
running back, not the New York Giants old washed up
running back like the Eagles did. I mean, you know,
(11:04):
it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
He's in his prime.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
He went to the house Penn State doing. They're the
big ten school with the most recent national championship.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
What this is called is called the distraction.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
This is.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, you can't answer the questions.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I mean, again, I'm not thrilled about the Zeke return,
so I'm just trying to drag everybody down with me.
But the good news is the Eagles have done that
to themselves, despite Howie Roseman drafting Daniel Jeremiah's big board
and getting, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Here we go. He's jealous, I love Howie.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Jealous of Howie, and I am jealous. I mean, but
you know you're jealous a place where it's easy to
be jealous of.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
You're jealous because our team actually made moves in the
off season.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I mean, you run this blog. What the hell were
you sitting writing about like fan fiction?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
I'll be straight up with both of you. I respect
the Eagles greatly and mightily, much to my own person displeasure. However,
the thing that I respect the least about them is
that they work so much harder than the Cowboys, significantly harder.
They look under way more rocks than the cowboys do,
and they lose to the Cowboys over and over and
over again. So I just find it amazing that, given
(12:15):
the wide disparity in terms of what is put into
the project, that the Eagles still are the little brothers
in this question.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Bro, you know you had it wrong. You said that
the Eagles work harder. No, they work smarter. Bro, Why
would you spend weeks and weeks of doing research when
you could just google Daniel Jeremiah's draft board and be.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Like, bull, exactly, we're done right there. There you go.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
You could also just bring back a player who played
very well for you instead of you know me. Imagine
Tony a whole new person into the player database system
and getting a whole new person in HR's overall ecosystem.
The Cowboys did not do those. It was efficient.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
You know enough of this, all right, let's talk about
you for a second. Good segue.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You know your writers like you. You think you're so
clever with the analogies you come up with, your assimiles
and whatnot. The other day we saw you on this
k Adams show. You said that the Ezekiel Elliott reunion
is like the show Girl Meets World. So we have
a question who was the target audience for that comment
and also what great are they in?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Uh So, it's based on the original ninety show Boy
Meets World, which in reality had a spin off like
twenty five years later where the main person's child was
in school kind of followed the same path. I figured,
as diehard Philadelphia fans, you would know this, given that
the show allegedly took place in the city of brother
They love. Goes to show how inauthentic you both are.
Now we know the show bro it does speak to
(13:37):
the cowboys just trying to tie themselves to the past.
They've been accused of that a lot recently, but the
Zeke thing is a case steady example. But again, good
job by you guys not knowing anything about thee.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Well no, now the one who doesn't know no, because
you don't know how to talk to an audience. I mean,
you got to come up with better references. I mean, Tony,
give them a better reference than that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, well, did you guys hear it? Did it work?
You're talking about it?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
We were so taken aback by it. We would take
it here to help you, bro. We want to show
you how it's done.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Bro.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
But if it if it hit, and if it worked
and it created discussion and challenged us all intellectually, I feel.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Like if there's challenged intellectually, listen to everything. Watch this, bro,
This is how you do an analogy.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Bro? What about you know? Different strokes?
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Jerry Jones is kind of like Philip Drummond who adopts
these two kids. Instead of Willis and Arnold, you have
Dak and Zeke. Isn't that better?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
See? I understand that that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I don't. I didn't watch that.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You disrespect different strokes, bro? You can okay?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
All right?
Speaker 3 (14:43):
He's another one. What about small Wonda? You know Zeke,
he's gonna have to compete. He's gonna have to compete
for a spot with running back Deuce Vaughan who's three
foot six you knowey?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Plus can they be accessed on the internet?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
You can't than me?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
How old are you?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I'm thirty four years old, and I'm also old enough
to you've.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Got to be old. One of my stand the business.
That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
We're trying to teach your age verification for guests on
this showy. Look, let's talk Dak Prescott. Right, he's entering
a contract here, right, you know he could potentially become
a free agent, right, yeah, if you had the guests
right now, which team will Doak Prescott play for next
year in the UFL.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I'm not familiar with the UFL teams obviously, but I
say that he doesn't know.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Hold on, you don't know small wonder, you don't know
different strokes UFL.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Yeah, Ago bro really far back, But I will say
that my deepest fhere, if you would like to know,
is uh is the idea of Dak Prescott planning for
the New York Giants in twenty twenty five. That's that
would be a good thing to win you, Okay, that
would be more losses for you, though.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Bron kidding, media break please you know you.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Was likely eight and three lifetime record against the Eagles.
There's a lot of talk coming from a very very small.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Please hoo he beat Gardner, Minshew, come on please that
doesn't count.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Bro, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
And Carson Wentz your former favorite song, it doesn't count.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Exactly, Bro, don't we don't count. We don't talk about that.
That doesn't count. Bro, you got it, You got see.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
You gotta pick the games that actually count. And when
you look at that, he's oho and two. It's just
very simple to see, ye exactly.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
You know.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I know you're young.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Your mommy may maybe not let you stay up to
watch this, But do you see that Tom Brady roast?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
You watch it?
Speaker 4 (16:42):
I did? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I funny was that? How horrible was it?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Bro?
Speaker 4 (16:47):
It was the second funniest thing I've seen this week.
Obviously thought it was funny, but I actually do you
want to pay you a compliment? I thought it was
kind of cowardly how they avoided the subject of Nick Foles.
If you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
It, exactly, there you go, Bro.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Finally took forever, but we got a good, solid take
right there.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Bro, Here is something out they're very familiar with, talking
a lot about Dak Prescott.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
But you know, let me teach you something about comedy
in the way it works. Because you're very young, you know,
you don't know you're watching these shows Girl Meets World.
You've never seen a classic like different Strokes. You don't
know comedy.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Know what the people like?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
They like topical humor. Right, you get a guy like
Tom Brady. He's old and retired. That's why we got
a better idea for you. You're gonna love this. You're gonna
love this. Listen a roast of Dak Prescott. Don't you
think that would be a better idea.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
It would if the Eagles could qualify to do it,
but they can't.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
You you know, you can't even answer a question. Bro,
We give you a question and then you got to
go in a whole nother director.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
You have to hear you da.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
I will give each of you one roast.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
We have several here, bro Tony read him some of
these jokes. You're gonna love them.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
You're gonna lid to this one. This one's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
You know, you know Dak Prescott was born in the
town of Solfa, Louisiana, which makes total sense because he stinks.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Oh that's very funny.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Sorry it wasn't Girl Meets World. Yeah, exactly, bro.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
To be clear, I never watched Girl Meets World. My
point of reference is about boy meets.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Didn't have enough hold on. We'll give you another one here,
Tony hit him with another one.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
You know, people forget that Dak's middle name is Rain. Well, Dak,
you remind me of Rain, depressing to watch.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Oh you've done that?
Speaker 4 (18:43):
He doesn't get it gets is quite pleasant.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Deliberating experience. Of course he does.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Dude, dude, you don't have a sense of humor. You're
not all right here?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
All right? Maybe he needs a different style. Here we go.
If you ready for this, here we are.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
You know, Dak is short for Dakota, which reminds me
of South Dakota, which was the thirty ninth state in
the Union. And you know what's also thirty ninth dak
among all NFL qbs.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Oh, get done that?
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I would offer the referenced It was the thirty ninth
state in the Union. And it's this whole diet trabigan
around Tom Brady's roast, Tom Brady's New England Patriots beat Philadelphiegals.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Get out of it here, bro, he's gotta.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
World.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
You know what. Guess what a j o'chowa you know
what that rhymes with?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, the get out you are the biggest buns killed.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Get out.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Can't take a bunch of directions.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
The only direction you should go show is he off
the lone day, hang up the phone.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You can't bring these young kids on a show. Get references.
It's like exacts.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
It's like I'm going through growing pains talking to young
people like this.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, anyway, let's not let him ruin, which was a
terrific show.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
No, they want to thank our sponsor for of course.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Ups if it isn't someone i'd like say to the
bottom of the ocean.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, producing j what corrections? Why hurry up?
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Just go? You actually believed Nikola Jokic said he wanted
to clone himself.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, that's what he said. Bro. Read the news, bro, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
No he was.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
He was obviously joking. You clearly just read a headline
and didn't bother reading the rest of the story.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Oh yeah, well, uh after the show, I'm going to
give you a rest for eternity.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Yeah, I can't wait to read a story about you
in the obituary section. Oh you had done let's get
out of his shows.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Another thing you said the center for the te wolves
was Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, bro, Yeah, that's his name. Bro. Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Do you do you even watch basketball? It's Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Oh yeah, well I can't wait, though, murderer, you yeah,
and I can't wait to shoot you with my revolve there.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh, or let's get out of here. We're finished.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
What go?
Speaker 5 (21:29):
You said you wanted to see the comedian Gallagher at
the Tom Brady Rose. Yea.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
It would have been ten times funnier, Bro, much funnier, bro.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Yeah, that probably would have been hard to pull off.
Concidering Gallagher died two years ago.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Oh yeah, well you know who else should have died
two years ago?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
You?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah? And you know what, roast.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I can't wait to see when we burn your body alive?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Oh I didn't wait for Dony looked on the show.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Now this is a booking.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Super Bowl hero Eagles legend Nick Foles Away.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Go to Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Great review this show and support the merch store that
special Fusco bet merch and support our case against the government.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Ten day, Tony, great job, as always saying to you, Paully,
another falls show. Therego, We'll see people next week. To
see y'all, Okay,
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