#288: 2 Girls 1 Schmuck

#288: Skeery witnessed a ballsy bachelorette party trying to downgrade a passenger on a flight; Brody turned down a threesome; Skeery saw a guy incessantly vomiting all over himself at the airport; After a long hiatus, the boys get Spruce On The Loose on to get his take on a recent debate; Skeery calls out Brody for sitting in the exit row but not willing to help in the event of an emergency

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start up, dot up, start up.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Brooklyn Boy start Up, Brooklyn Boys, start up, dot up,
doda up.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
They making noise data start up up up, dot Up,
Episode two eighty eight. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Hello, Hi,
I mean it. I'm brody. He's scary since he's not
saying it, I'm scary. That's brody. There you go.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Hey, speaking of startup startup? Have you seen that new
commercial for it's either a bank or a credit card
and they're talking about how you can like invest And
the guy says it's talking about startups like startup companies, right,
and he goes he says, start up startup.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Oh really, I haven't seen it our show. That's up
the audio. Next time I hear it startup startup, I.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Thought, I thought what they're ripping us off? Did you
ever think about doing something different and doing getting, you know,
a startup company? Did you ever like have a dream
about so I ever think of starting to do do
something different? Well that's a question to you're two years later.
You ever have a did you ever have a startup? No,
a startup company? I had a couple of ideas for
a company.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
In fact, a business friend of mine we talked about
doing a company together, three of us who write song parodies.
We would do custom parodies like, Oh James is getting
a confirmation party, Steven Mary get married? Yeah, you know,
I would write write a parody about them, which I

(01:26):
used to do for the morning show. People used to
email in and I would write a song about them.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
So I didn't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
And then last week one of the three of us
posted that he started his own company doing custom parodies. Really, yeah,
there's a lot of things so he could save money
that way. He's got to be a lot of money
in that gotta be. I don't know, well, I mean,
i'd have to get singers to work with me. He
doesn't need to get like he needs to get a
female singer, but he does a lot of the male
singing vocals.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
I feel like half the work could be covered by AI.
At this point.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
You can just like punch in a few items and
things and next thing, you know, AI spits out a
song for you speaking of a So I sell stuff
on eBay. You know that, And about two months ago,
you've never listed on eBay. When you list on eBay,
you you you You've put like I'm gonna sell something,
and it says, what's the title? You put the price?
I think, and then you have to write a description. Well,

(02:14):
you'd always just like copy the title, put that in
a description, and then write a couple more things like
you know whatever. Well, now for like a couple of months, now,
maybe it's five six months, I don't know. It says,
would you like to use AI to write your description?
I'm like, OK, use A I write my description to
that ship.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Well, last night I listed something and I had so
one of the it needed a lot of details, so
I screenshoted an online posting of this item or just screenshot.
I think it's screenshot. I think it's like broadcast and broadcasted.
I think both are acceptable, like the past tense at

(02:52):
broadcast like oh we did a live broadcast. We broadcast
from the from the but people say broadcasted.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah, anyway, I took a screen shot.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, I took a screenshot with all the details around
it of this of this object, and I put it
in one of the pictures. But I didn't write it out. Well,
I say, let me see what the AI is.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Going to write.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
The AI not only described the item, it put in
the measurements that I had written in the description in
the in the detail section. It took verbiage from the
photograph that had details.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
It grabbed words out of a photo and put them
in the AI description of the item. Holy shit, it's
the best description for the item I could imagine. That's unbelievable.
You know something, I love it or hate it. That's
where we're going. That's where we're going with a look.
I'm telling you, I was looking. I saw an ad
for a editing audio editing and video editing software Revolutionary.

(03:50):
I think it was called Describe something like that. I'll
look it up anyway. It takes audio and let's say
you do a podcast right.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Like the one we're doing right now right.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
It takes the video, It transcribes the video, finds the
perfect spot setting through because of the verbiage, then goes
back and edits the video in the perfect spot based
on whether you change topic or not, or end of
a sentence.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
It knows where to then go back and edit the video.
It makes video clips for you.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
It produces the audio for you, so it improves the quality.
It does everything that's more human, that's more human than human.
Thank you, Ron Tomby exactly. I set you up for
that one. Not getting past me on that one. But
that is that is definitely some people can't think like that.
But I feel like a I can like critically think,
they can think like Yes, they can think like out

(04:45):
of the box and be creative. Wow, we're in trouble
right here in River City, just saying you know we
can You know, if you quit the podcast, I can
have AI Brody and I bet you I can have
like a real lifetime conversation.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
With Magic Snarky. You'd have to input snark. Snark.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, give me a little bit of give me snark,
give me some sass, give me some complaining, be salty
about everything, about everything.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Isn't that funny?

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I would program your AI, but I would take out
the stuff like the aliens bullshit, I just take that
right out.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Man, you're just not a fan as Garry Jones. No, aliens.
Don't get me. Don't get me. I'm telling you.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
People are sending listeners, are slices, are sending me articles
about the proof of UFOs and aliens. Now, like it
started halfway as a joke and like I somewhat believe it,
But the.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
More and more I see out there.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
I don't know, Brodie, when you when you flew to
the Muhammas last weekend, were looking out the window for
a h we're holding your phone to the window looking
for something to fly by. No, the aliens were inside
the plane when I was in. That was a great segue.
By the way, Oh my god, Uh, you tell what
in what world would be fun to fly? Would someone

(06:03):
give up their seat for a downgrade? Okay, let me
take you to this scenario. I can't I don't even
know what you're talking about. I would never give up
my seat for a down Well, that's exactly what this
bachelorette party decided to do. Three girls dressed in white
wearing fucking cowboy hats and one of them said one
of them and rhinestones on the front, said bride.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
You know.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
So the bride was there with her two two of
the women from her bachelorette party, and they joined I'm
sorry what you had a direct flight to the Bahamas.
Where are the cowgirls getting on in Jersey?

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Brody?

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Uh, Hello from New York City, New York, New York
to New York to the Bahamas like cowboys? Though, No,
you said, I'm confused. You just you made sound like
it's a rare. It's a rare thing to have a
direct flight to the Bahamas. No, I'm saying it seems
odd that cowgirls were flying from New York.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
That's all.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Okay, let's this is about eight to ten direct flights
a day from the New York is a major hub
to go to the relevant because they were probably flying
from somewhere else and they connected in New York from
all the parts of the country. You gotta fly through
New York or Atlanta. Oh, I didn't get to the
Homas Prize, that's all. I'm surprised.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
I thought it's pretty Georgia. I think it's pretty common anyway.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
Uh, they they get on in LaGuardia, the the bride
and her two bridesmaids and they get on the plane.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
And now the girls were in.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
We're gonna say the aisle seat and the middle seat,
but in the window seat was a woman who would
bought that seat, and obviously, and it was an economy
plus ticket. It was like a a comfort plus room,
a little pay extra for that electra leg room. So
that was her seat. But the two the other two

(07:59):
seats belonged to two of the three women in the
bachelorette party. Okay, where was the third girl? The third
girl was in thirty eight F next to the bathroom.
So all three of them get on the flight and
they approached the woman in the window seat and say, hey, uh,
you mind if our third friend sits here and you

(08:21):
take her seat. And then the woman was like, away,
where's the seat And the girl goes, oh, it's thirty
eight F in the back.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
And then the woman looked at her window. It was
by the bathroom in the back.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
With no extra legs, or at least the window seat
was at like, ah's a fuck. The point is that
woman was clearly being downgraded by the bachsorette party, right,
So the audacity the balls on these women to think
for a second that a woman who paid like thirty

(08:57):
three dollars for her sire's gonna go sit by the
toilets in the back. Who cares if it's a window
or not. You're in the back smelling people's shit. So
so the woman who's like a hard pass, you know,
so the girl goes to sit. Now, what would have
been a smart thing to do would be all three

(09:18):
women marched to the back to that grade sea somebody
and take the two women sitting next to the bathroom
seat and say, look, you want our seats up in
you know eleven NF. That would have been the smart move,
absolutely well, that would be the second. That would have
been the move most likely to succeed. Yeah, they were
trying to get over. You don't you're gonna walk on

(09:38):
a plane and try and downgrade someone. I mean the
two women who were sitting next to or knew they
paid more for the seats. Of course, unless they didn't
pay for them less someone paid them for the tickets for.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Them, but doesn't either way.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Either way, the woman listen, plan better, I'm not moving,
plan better?

Speaker 4 (09:54):
You know.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
Oh sorry, you can't sit next to your friend, you know,
because your friend it you guys didn't book the you know,
the right way or something. The chips didn't fall in line.
Oh you remember when we flew to Iceland. I told
you about that guy. Uh, he wouldn't move from the
window on the right to the window on the left,
right so I could sit next to my wife. Exactly,

(10:15):
it was the same row. Okay, see that's that's an
even thing. That could have been a courtesy call.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, it was being a dick.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
I mean I'd spent two years now roughly, that's what
I remember happening.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
He wouldn't be.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
Traded him even for even and now he could have
came out smelling like a rose, doing a good favor
for somebody in the past.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
I guess he's the right side of the plane. Guy.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
He's got to fly on the right side of the
plane otherwise he's gonna crash at him.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, people are.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
But speaking of planes, Uh, did you see the story
yesterday about the guy hiding in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, it was. It was a Delta flight.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
He boarded a flight, he somehow took pictures of people,
of people's someone else's boarding boarding pass, got on the
flight hiding in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
Let me ask you, how the hell did he think
that was gonna for him?

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Did he really think he was gonna find his like
a random seat on the plane and they didn't working
the ticket. Maybe if the plates the plane's not folded,
be an empty seat, but he was just gonna take
the seat. Yeah, he was waiting around for like what
he should have done. Once he took a picture of
somebody else's boarding pass, is then looked on the flight
to try to book a ticket or go up to

(11:20):
the counter and say, there any seats left on this flight?

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Oh? Nine b nah, change my mind? Well, yeah, that
was dumb. Well was he a stowaway?

Speaker 4 (11:31):
Right?

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Did he? But he didn't? Did he? Get no? They
caught him. They caught him before they closed the cabin doors.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, but how First of all, how dumb do you
have to be to leave your boarding pass out? Well,
not like it's someone take a picture of it, but
a straight on picture so it looks like the boarding
pass on your phone.

Speaker 4 (11:47):
Ridiculous?

Speaker 3 (11:48):
And how bad is security that a photograph of a
boarding pass works?

Speaker 1 (11:52):
I don't know, man, there's no hologram.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
There's there's nothing to like prevent that, at least with
ticket bastard Ticketmaster. Yeah, I get the thing going back
and forth on the slides, back and forth. It's like
it's a it's like a kind of a uh what
is it? A moving a moving image?

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Right?

Speaker 3 (12:08):
You can't you can't screenshot, you can't tickets anymore. Right,
But getting on an airplane apparently not as secure as
sneaking in the seat. Taylor Swift and at Madison Square Garden,
I got more on airline hijinks. Oh right up, come
after this. Yeah, oh all right, but only if you
want to hear them. Oh, of course I do them
on the edge of my.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Scary and Brody.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
So, something happened to me at the airport that I
know drives you fucking nuts. I thought of you the
whole time. Ah, and I was flying with Gandhi and
Nate to the Bahamas in case you were not up
to speed. Uh And I mean what I mentioned before, Yeah,
you had a direct flight to the Bahamas. Yeah, but
I was playing with Gandhi and Nate for the big show.
Gandhi said, that's perfect for your Booking Boys podcast. She

(12:54):
was all right, David Brody, because I was complaining about
something and that was clearly something that you.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Would complain about and have complained about. Oh I have okay,
all right. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
So we're standing in line for customer service to to
go to uh Gandi had to check in or something
like that to show a passport.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
I just couldn't do it online.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
So we're standing there at the counter waiting for them
to call our name, and the woman goes.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Following.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
Now, remember, David Brody, when you were at CVS or
one of those Walgreens in War Times square one of
those Yeah, when the lady behind the counter said, can
I help the following person? And I thought she was
going to read a listen as a listen the following
person like an Phil Joe Tommy. Could I have to
find person colon waiting waiting?

Speaker 1 (13:48):
This woman? This woman?

Speaker 3 (13:50):
I mean, I guess just pure laziness, forgot the whole
forgot the whole phrase, or didn't even bother and just
goes following. Just is the word following? Is that supposed
to be less rude than saying next? Because next, actually
next says something. Next is an action like who decided
next is rude?

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Next?

Speaker 3 (14:11):
Next is not rude, But I'm excited to you Next
It means I'm ready, I'm going next.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
Next.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
I mag if someone says next, you're like, I'm offended
by next. I'm not stepping up, no following up, no following,
So as in can I help the following person?

Speaker 1 (14:25):
But shortened to following? So I'm sitting not following anybody.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
So I I after we got through it them, I
were walking toward the gate and I told Gandhi, I'm like,
that's so wrong. I'm like following first of all, it
doesn't mean it doesn't even mean anything when you say
can help the following person, let alone the fact that
she just said the word following, just arbitrarily without any

(14:50):
other context behind it, and find it or you was
saying following.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
So I'm like, what, am I am I being followed?

Speaker 4 (14:56):
What?

Speaker 1 (14:56):
I started looking around? Am I following? Following? Who following me?
Following me? On Instagram?

Speaker 3 (15:01):
Following following consecutive consecutive, consecutive, weird, the weird, and this
is you know, anyway, I thought you'd get a kick
out of it, Brody, because it's terrible. Some people somebody
told her to say that. Gandhi fought me on it.
You know, I would have stood there and waited. I
would call her. I would call her, but she's got

(15:22):
no voice right now. She wasn't on the show. But
she said, well, sometimes that's like a cultural thing where
some you know, culture, Oh that maybe like in certain cultures,
maybe that's how you that's how you phrase it.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
In Papua New Guinea, what were we talking about?

Speaker 3 (15:38):
He was defending the woman, and I'm like, Gandhi, I'm like,
I'm like, somewhere in the handbook of Delta airlines.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
They fucking told this woman to say it that way.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Yeah, and it's okay, like, because you know, things are
very meticulous and methodical when it comes to.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
The next guest, may help the next guest is right.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
But what I'm saying is that's in the company hand
book for the syntax following. So did someone in the
company handbook say stalking you know what when you help
the next person just say following? Or did this woman
take it upon herself? What if he was stalking the
person in front of you? What if you stalking? Stalker? Yeah,

(16:18):
that's terrible. Yeah, I won't know how they disagreed with you. Yeah,
how does gand to get following and think, yeah, that's right,
following following? Just we had we had we had ourselves
in morning at the airport, oh god, at the clear desk.
Some guy was on Oh yeah, that's top, that's the
top security that you have. Clear, you walk right in clear?

(16:39):
Yeah yeah, Well you know what wasn't clear?

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (16:42):
The floor the floor at clear because someone decided to
whoever it was he was, must have been coming off
of a bender.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
The guy was standing in front of the clear machine
with a hoodie, ghost.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
White like white, like powder white, and it's just like.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Starting vomiting all over himself and his luggage.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Didn't even move his mouth just like and then it
was just vomit.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
All over the floor of was he flying jet Green
took out four clear machines. The whole line had to
be moved and went on the machine and it was
it was. It was right in front of the machine.
This is a Guardian airport, and and some woman standing
nearby just you know, she was obviously this guy was

(17:37):
with his girlfriend. So some woman hands the girlfriend a
wet nap oh and they opened it up and like
she's trying to like dry his mouth. He must have
went in for seven in a row over the course
of three minutes. And the best part is nobody anywhere
gave a shit. I don't know how long that puke

(18:01):
stood there, but we were We were good there for
a good five to maybe even close to ten minutes,
and nobody had come along to even attempt to clean.
Was nervous to fly now, dude, that guy had a
bottle of water. He was vomiting back into his bottle
of poland spring Oh.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
It was. It was looked like he had.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
Been drinking all night and just came right, Oh, he's
gonna hang out.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Oh yeah, hangover. Yeah, that's what you want to do
the night before flight. But he made no It's almost
like he didn't know where he was.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Because if, if God forbid, that was me, I would
at least make a make an effort to get out
of harm's way, run off to the side, to the
perimeters of the airport.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
The guy made no effort. He had We were we're.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Talking about time to think about it, zigzag lines of
people and he's just right there in the middle of
all of it. Didn't even attempt to move his carry
on rollers carry on away from the line of fire.
Oh so did he just leave it and walk away? Yeah?

(19:07):
And I didn't go get anybody, dude. So him and
his girlfriend they did, you know, they cleaned him, She
cleaned them up whatever, and he just kind of like,
kind of did they kiss? Did you kiss him?

Speaker 1 (19:18):
No? Okay, they just.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
Hobbled away and they let him through. Fifteen minutes later,
we saw him. We were you you know, we were
near the gate. I'm like, oh my god, there's that
couple again, and rob and puke like that, and she said,
it's scary if you love me, you'll kiss me?

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Would you kiss her? Who says that this is what
the podcast is for? Is that a dare? It's a dare?
Like she's like, if you love me, you'd kiss me? No,
she would, She wouldn't say that first of all. But
if she did, what would you do? I have to
kiss her? I don't. I don't.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
But you the case, you honestly think that I skied
my girlfriend? No, I think you ski vomit. I don't
think you'd go in there. I mean, I love my wife,
but if she said it to me, but to come on,
your kidding me?

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (20:10):
I'm like, Yeah, you're not gonna remember this five years
from now, right, what about you probably would five years
later remember that time you would kiss me? One more
one more observation about yes flying, and then we can
take another break.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
And then can we only if you want to?

Speaker 3 (20:23):
No, I want to talk about I get a cheesecake
factory update. We don't have a jingle for that. We
don't cheesecake factory update. Yes, I want to see what
this one's about. That's a that's about me. I'll tell
you that if you ever go well, if you're ever
sitting in the exit row.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
The flight flight attendant comes up and she says to
everyone sitting in the exit row. Usually it's like two
rows on the left, two rows on the right, you know,
and she needs a verbal. I need a verbal yes
from all of you. Oh are you willing to help
it in emerging to help an emergency out?

Speaker 1 (20:56):
I need a verbal?

Speaker 4 (20:57):
Right?

Speaker 3 (20:59):
Why do they me a verbal? Why can't you just
shake your head? It's weird, like everyone yes, yes, yes,
because I think you could be misconstrued. It's like it's
like it's like when you when you gamble it at
uh we play twenty one at a blackjacket at a casino. Yeah,
you have to tap your finger because that shows up
on the camera. Well, that's a visual. They don't want them,

(21:20):
they don't want the audio. So right, But but what
if someone of the someone has like a shaky head,
and they'll assume that meant yes, But like I didn't
say anything.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, but they're not recording you.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
They're not recording you, so there's no but she can testify,
there's no proof you need to be committed. There's no
proof for everyone to say it. But there's no proof
you said yes.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
If you're sitting in the emergency row and you said
you were going to help, and I heard you, and
that plane crash in water, God, I will hold you
to that ship, my response would have been, well, do
I need to open the door if it blows off
by itself. I wouldn't sit in the emergency row these
days for anything until they fixed that door issue. I'm

(22:01):
just saying it's it's kind of weird that they need
the verbal for I mean, it's like, all right, and
then you assume everyone's gonna help out, but then you know,
if chaos breaks out, are people actually gonna help or
you're just gonna I am. One of the first things
they teach you is that when you sit down is
to count how many rows you are from the emergency doors,
because when the lights go out in an emergency, like

(22:22):
if the plane lands on the water, the floor lights up,
but you won't see the row numbers. So if you
know I'm four rows from the door, you can count,
you know, hold, you know, touch the seats and go
I'm four rows forward, seven rows back, yep, this way
you know where the door and if I'm seven rows
back and I'm walking toward that door, and am I
gonna and you're in that exit row, I'm gonna. I'm

(22:44):
gonna see you there saving lives. You're gonna be opening.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
That door, helping people out.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
You're gonna be standing there waiting for everybody to go
ahead of you.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
No, I will open the door.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah, and I will see if anyone needs my help,
and then I will go down that slide.

Speaker 4 (22:58):
Is that? Oh?

Speaker 3 (22:59):
No? No, But you have to be willing to help
in the case of an emergency. Yes, I will help
open the door, throw it. That is not what she
means when she says she wants that verbal yes, I
will help people. First of all, you have to promise
to open the door. You have to open the door.
Step one. You have to open the door.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Throw it.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
Yeah, that's helping. But yeah, you're gonna throw it and
run out, okay? Or you gonna help people.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
With the line.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
If I look at the line and it's all people
in good health. But like the nineteenth person is an
old lady, I figure like the eighteeh person can help
that old lady. I'm out. No. You you know how
you open the door for someone with your with your
hand reaching back like, Okay, I'll reach out and then
you leave. Right, I'm that guy. I'll open I'll help

(23:41):
because the kid. I'll help the kid out. No, you're
gonna open the door and you're just gonna fucking do this,
go down the slide. You're the first one out. Is
the plane sinking slowly? Would they tell you plenty of time?
That is not part of the rules. It doesn't matter
you said you would. You gave the verbal yes.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
It doesn't say how much i'll help. It says help.
If I help five people, that was helpful. I help
you open the door so I could get myself out
and fucking slide down the slide.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
No, I would go out.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Listen, that's very helpful. If the door doesn't open, nobody
goes out, that's helpful.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yeah, a bullshit, A bullshit.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
I would figure out how many people counts as being helpful.
If it's five or seven, that's how many people. Right
at some point, there's three hundred people to hundred and
fifty people on the plane. Sure, I didn't vaunt here
to help all of them. I vaunteed to help. I
didn't vaunt you to be like the captain is you're
the captain. You gotta wait till everybody. If anybody's off,
you gotta let enough people go down the slide. Make
sure the sharks get them first, and then I'll go down.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
You go the Brooklyn Boys Podcast, We will be right back.
David Brody, don't put.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Him near the exit. You hear that, airlines. Don't make
Brody sit near the exit row. If you're in an
exit row, get him the fuck out of there. No,
if you see me on the plane, don't sit more
than five people away from me. I'm will help the
first five people, maybe six and even number. I'm like, oh,
six is good?

Speaker 1 (25:01):
All right?

Speaker 3 (25:02):
By the way, Cheesecake Factory, Yeah, you guys remember my
Cheesecake Factory of Lies episode that was Ago Ago to
sixty eight too. I got a question, why is it
that all the episodes before Cheesecake Factory of Lies, and
all the episodes after Cheesecake Factory of Lies and the

(25:23):
ones right after it have more downloads than Cheesecake Factory Lies.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
What happened? Did we release it on the wrong date?
Did people skip it?

Speaker 4 (25:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (25:32):
I think that was the Saturday release. That was your
bright idea? No, no, no, but people can still listen
to it. If you haven't listened to it, there's got
to be somebody listened to this episode slices who didn't listen,
because it's got a decent amount less than the other
ones around it, and it's a very good episode.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
But what was the date?

Speaker 3 (25:50):
I don't know well that that would count to. It
was holiday week in February. It was in February because
it was about my birthday in January? Does it matter?
People listen in order all the episodes? You said the
same mount listens. Doesn't make sense anyway, So you heard
the episode. So our friend and listener, Shady jew Mobster

(26:11):
dms me on Twitter and says, hey, man, I called
the corporate number. I got a fifty dollar gift card. Dude,
if you got fifty, I'll get one hundred.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Fuck that.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
So I call up the cheesecake factory and they put
me through the customer service that says.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
There's no one here to answer your call. We're all
helping other people.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Please leave a voicemail with your name and phone number
and a brief description of your issue. You sound like Michael.
This is mister Michael Oppenheim. This is missus Cheesecake Factory.
So By the way, you've ruined the movie Oppenheimer for me?
Why is that ruined it? Every time I go to
watch it?

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Right here? Oh, this is a movie you're going to enjoy.
I gotta tell you something I didn't.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
I did not create my Michael Oppenheimer character on Oppenheimer,
the guy that founded the atomic I under the atomic bomb,
nor did you create it on the in the the
the it was it the the economist Michael Oppenheimer.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
That happens to be a guy with that name.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
Oh, the guy from Princeton University who uh talks about
climate change and stuff. Oh that guy, Well, he was
some expert. He's always on talk shows. How did you
come up with the name?

Speaker 1 (27:18):
Uh, Oppenheimer Funds.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Oh, by the way, I know I'm gonna sound like
a child here when it comes to investment firms like
Oppenheimer Funds. Yeah, I can't help myself. I laugh every
time somebody knows commercials says fiduciary, Yeah, fiduciary, We're we
can't pull that ship. We're a I laughed my ass off.

(27:42):
It's like you're a fra douchebag. It's got douche in
the middle.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah. They gotta change there. What do you do? I'm
a fiduciary expert on that note.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
In high school, sometimes we used to listen to the
rock station one O two seven w any w any w. Yeah, yeah,
And in the morning there was a woman who did
traffic and she was like, Oh, Donna, I'm Donna Fidusia.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yes, Donald, And.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Do you remember what you used to call her? No,
he called her Donna for douchebag. He called her that
when he would go to traffic don I miss in
New York. Uh. He syndicated for a while, legendary DJ
he got. He go to traffic now with Donna bag.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
He would demoralize her name like that, And he got
fired for demoralized on the women's basketball Tell you what,
he was a piece of ship, nastiest.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Fucking motherfucker, awful human being.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
And I guess what they rewarded that because the guy
became made millions off of doing what he did. Yeah,
what he's my my co host on the former co
host on Walkers and Talkers, Jamie.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
He used to work for him.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Really, I bet she's got stories, She's got day she
said he was. He was nice er to some of
the what he got. Yeah, when he got sick. Maybe
he apparently he did some nice things for some hospitals
and donated.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Somebody hit a ranch. He had sick kids.

Speaker 3 (29:10):
But to call your coworker a douchebag, well I didn't,
she didn't. He didn't call her a douchebag. He made
fun of her name. That's terrible. Anyway, Well, you were
your fiduciary. Yeah, every time were you to listen to
this traffic lady, her name was Donovan?

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Donovan?

Speaker 3 (29:26):
You got to change your name for radio at that point. Well,
that's the thing in a world forget in a world
of fake names. Radio was notorious for it. You couldn't
change your name. Are you saying people have fake names
scary Jones? I've never heard of that. People in radio.
That's what we do, right, But my my last name

(29:47):
happens to be scary. So this it's a reminder. Anybody
in radio with kid or night in their name, lying liar.
They're not kid anything. Their last name is not really night,
can I yeah or Kincaid?

Speaker 1 (30:05):
I don't know by that name? No, yes, you do anyway?

Speaker 3 (30:09):
No, Yeah, A lot of people with a rhyme if
your name rhymes chances are you aren't born that way.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, all right, back to your
store on the radio, and though it's how do we
get on this topic?

Speaker 1 (30:22):
I don't know, you know, you go.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Off on tangents. Yeah, anyway, cheesecake factory. So, uh, I
leave a message. They don't call me back for two weeks.
I call them back again. It is oh, you were
put into the different department we have to give to
transfer to the customer service install a complaint department.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
I'm like, oh, that's fine. So I get a woman.

Speaker 3 (30:42):
I tell the story about how that they lied to me,
they lied to the other customer, They ruined my evening,
they kept me waiting. I'm terribly sorry. So he said,
I so appreciate you calling. Here's what we're gonna do.
I'm like, oh yeah, baby, bring it. She says, we
are going to call that store. It's obviously a training issue.
Uh and you told me today time. We're going to
look up and see who the manager was, and one

(31:03):
of the regional people will be notified so this doesn't
happen again. This is absolutely unacceptable. We're so sorry you
didn't have a wonderful experience A cheesecake factory, and so
thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
And so I go like this, I go like like
when she said.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
Following she said, and we're gonna call them and let
them know is this will happened again. You can be
sure of that. Okay, great, Well, thank you so much
for calling. Ahh boy, So I said, hold on a second,
I said, I'm very glad that you're appreciative of my call,
and certainly it was my pleasure to help the company anyway.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
I can.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
You know, if I can make a better customer experience
for the next person, that's great, I said, But my
customer experience was ruined, so I assumed, And that's not
why I called. I made that very clear. I wanted
you to know what happened. That's not why I called.
I assumed you would say to me, you know, let's
see what we can do nice for you to make
up for your full experience. Just aly mean, like a

(32:01):
gift card, that would be nice.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, we don't do that, I said. They don't do that.
We don't choose. That's on our policy.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
We are not allowed to give out any kind of
monetary or what are you talking about.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
You're not allowed whatever you want it's your company. Yep.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
We appreciate your called, but we don't feel the need
that we have to reward you in any way. We're
sorry for what happened. I go, yeah, but you're shot, Doug.
I go, you're sorry, and that doesn't cut it. Hold
on what he's pretty turned to his micro off. He's
yelling at his dog. No, I just said, I just
nicely say hey, stop barking anyway. So I said, well,

(32:41):
that's not that's not acceptable. What are you How are
you making up for my bad? Why would I go back? Well, sir,
I hope we'll hope you go back for the great
food and atmosphere.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Are the atmosphere sucked?

Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, you're not giving they're not giving you any incentive
to come back. So I said, now, wait a minute.
A friend of mine call. He had a similar problem.
You guys gave him fifty bucks. I'm sure he's not
being truthful you, sir. So now you're saying my friend's
a liar because he got a gift card and I'm
lying to you and you're not giving me one. And
you're saying that he didn't get one of your lying

(33:15):
what you got the you got the wrong person. Obviously
I was.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Just calling back next week, for sure. You haven't called
back yet.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
No, I will be calling the What are you talking
about now? They have a record of me calling before.
I'm just gonna say I got disconnected and I hadn't
have a chance to call back. I will pull every
car out of the But you can't tell me that
you don't give So the else got a card, But
it was for a different reason, or was it?

Speaker 4 (33:39):
No?

Speaker 3 (33:40):
A similar bad experience? What was call a regional manager
was bad experience? I don't remember. It was a DM
like a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
It might have been a little bit more serious than yours.
Maybe atmosphere wasn't just getting you a gift card.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
Maybe you need.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Regardless, I verified and gave details and dates and times
and explain and she said, oh no, that that's unaccepted.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
So what was so bad?

Speaker 3 (34:05):
The fact that I had to fight for a table
that I got lied to you go listen to the
episode two sixty eight whatever. But it wasn't like to
it cost you money. It wasn't like it costs me
time and it costs me stress. See in there, and
it was my birthday dinner with my cousin, and you
told them that I did. I said, went off for
my birthday cheese confected, and you fucked me. Sometimes they

(34:28):
they value they value some problems more than others.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
She didn't say you, I mean, problem doesn't warrant a gift.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
If you found if you have found a rat in
your cheeseburger, I think you could have gotten a couple
of hundred dollars out of them. But this did not
rise to the level of you know you you're inconvened.
I'm just a devil's advocate. I'm not saying I agree
with them. I'm not just a factory. I'm telling you, dude,
did you hear did you hit the opening of the show?

Speaker 1 (34:55):
You heard?

Speaker 3 (34:55):
You heard who you're speaking with? You know your partner
is not an AI. You're speaking of David Brodi the
Brooklyn Boys podcast. I have gotten much more for much less.
I understand that. But this come to me on my
headstone when I died. Here lies a guy who got much.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
More of a much lefe.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
You are, You're just something else. You know at some
point you just gotta listen. If you were if you
were cheated out of out of money if you were
if they burned your steak, as we always that's like
the quintessential example, right of free dessert. Yep, maybe I
understand that you get your gift card for that, But

(35:35):
what did it really cost you?

Speaker 1 (35:37):
You just said it was an atmosphere problem. It wasn't really.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
First of all, it cost me twenty five minutes extra waiting,
all right, which is fine, that happens. But then to
be told I'm wrong, she lied to me, and then
they kept me waiting longer it had had a fight
for a table. If they gave a gift card for
everybody who had to wait around for a table, they
guess what, they would train their staff better. They go,

(36:00):
wait a minute, why are we giving out so many
gift cards? We better get better at customer service. That's
how it works. I just think secretly. If doors fall
off planes, guess what they checked the bolts better next time.
They probably have in their company handbook. Well they don't say.
They probably don't say they could have the following person. Yeah,
that company will. If you were on a flight and
the door the door blew off, and you said you

(36:21):
wanted a free flight somewhere else, and they said It's
not like you were pulled out of your seat, sir,
It was just a little bit. That's it your apples
and oranges you're talking about that was a very serious thing.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
I think.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
I think, I think that person gets to fly for
free full light. Getting my free macaroni and cheese balls
on vodka sauce was very.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Important to me.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
In their company handbook somewhere there probably is like, look,
if it's a delay thing where we couldn't give them
a table on time and we're running late, they don't
get a gift card every.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Time, okay.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
Rule. So while I was waiting and misinformed, then lied
to what if when my table was ready? She said following,
would that want to want to give one hundred dollars?
That's gonna bust your coffee up?

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Your bitch?

Speaker 3 (37:01):
All right, I have a story of better customer service?
Can I share that with you? A good one and
a bad one right after this, right after this?

Speaker 1 (37:11):
I don't know, man.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
By the way, sometimes I think you you you, you give,
they give you a finger, you take the whole arm.
I think this is one of those cases, man, that
you're not gonna get. You're gonna have to invent a
better problem for you to get that gift card from
juicecake factory. You're not gonna get it based on based
on the story you told me. I don't think that
warrants one hundred dollars. So if I say the hostess

(37:32):
said it's loud in here and you're an old fucking man,
that maybe I get the gift card.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Like if she insulted me.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
I think you would have had somebody would have had
a fucking squirt horse radish on your on your shirt,
on my.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
Food, or they put scallions in my bar.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
You were you, you were severely delayed while everybody ate
dinner and your stuff or they got stuff got cold.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
There had to be something else to it. I don't know.
Waiting work table does not want gift cards.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Embellish next time you know what they should have done though,
if they were a quality establishment, could have if they
could have brought you around the drinks, yeah something, but
they didn't do that. Hey, free cheesecake next time you go.
What does it cost them for a piece of cheesecake?

Speaker 1 (38:13):
A dollar?

Speaker 3 (38:15):
But that's a nice gesture, free dessert, give me something. Hey, well,
sorry for your problems. I'm not giving you a fifty
dollars gift card. But you know what, next time you
go to get a free piece of cheesecake that I'll
be okay with that give me something. Yeah, so maybe
that's maybe that's why that episode Cheesecake of Lies doesn't
have as many downloads.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yeah, people are.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Just sick of your just just scary to listen to
it because they didn't want to listen to it.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
Now.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
No, no, they knew where it was going. So I
ended up uh switching banks. I had a third bank
and that I used to have a lot of autopay go.
They're not a fiduciary. So my wife and I decided
to close that bank account. So she says, you know what,
figure out all the things that are auto paid out
of that account and switch them to the other bank.

(38:59):
So I'm looking at all the autopays and I'm finally
paying attention to the you know, my bank statement, and
I see I'm being charged ten ninety nine every month
for ESPN streaming service like ESPN Plus.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Now, look, I'm not wealthy. I'm not even working. I
don't know how I missed it, but I just I
just didn't see it. About a year I don't know,
it's been about eight nine months. I didn't notice it,
but eight nine months ago maybe whatever it was, Verizon
offered me the free Disney Bundle with our phone service,
uh huh, which gives you Disney Plus, Hulu and ESPN

(39:40):
Plus as part of the plan for free for like
six months, and then it's like ten bucks after that
something like that. So I told them I have other subscriptions.
They said, well, call Disney Plus and they'll cancel your
other subscriptions. So I called Disney Plus and I said, hey, listen,
I got the bundle. I'm already subscribing the Disney So

(40:02):
they said, no, you got to call Verizon back. Verizon
can when they sign you up, it'll automatically cancel your
other ones. Great, the call Verizon back, they said, yep,
it'll cancel your other plans. Well, the Disney Plus was canceled,
the Hulu was canceled, but for some reason, the ESPN
Plus wasn't canceled. So I see, I've got a ten
onion nine charge. So I call Espn Plus whatever the

(40:23):
customer service number is, and I said this, I have
a problem.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
I called Verizon and they told me it was canceled.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
They told me my original subscriptions were canceled, and I'm
being charged. I would like a credit for the eight
months or whatever it's been that i've been getting charged.
I don't need two ESPN streaming services.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
I can prove to you. I get it through Verizon.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
Sir, by the way, when I say, I'm not doing
the accent, but it was not, eh.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
So he says sir, who was English adjacent? Adjacent?

Speaker 3 (40:55):
Yeah, so he says, sir, you're being charge because you
didn't cancel it. Yep, I understand that, but I canceled it,
so I don't. I shouldn't be getting charged. Oh so,
I'm sorry. The reason you're being charged is because it
wasn't canceled.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yep, I got it.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
I'm calling to tell you it wasn't canceled, and I've
been charged. Yes, so I'm aware of that. You didn't
cancel it. No, no, no, I canceled it. It wasn't canceled.
You've been charging me. I would like a credit. Well,
so we can't give you a credit because it wasn't canceled.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yes, I know.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
That's what I'm telling you. I'm telling you it wasn't canceled. Well,
if it wasn't canceled, sir, that's why we charged that.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Shut up.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
You're not listening to me. Please, I don't want to yell.
I want to stay calm here, sir. I know you're
just doing your job. Let me start again. Maybe maybe
it's my fault. Maybe I didn't explain it properly. I'll
take the blame. No, so you're doing fine. Well apparently
I'm not. So I'll start again. Please, I apologize. Let
me let me start again. I had ESPN Plus. I

(41:58):
got the package through Verizon. Verizon said they would cancel
all of it. They didn't cancel ESPN Plus. I called
them about this. They told me how to call you guys,
because you are the guys charging me.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
So I just want to let you know.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
I can prove to you that I have ESPN Plus
through Verizon. You guys have been charging me. It's a mistake.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
I would just like a credit for all that. You
can see that I didn't log into that account. You
can check, is it. You could see that I didn't
cancel it. Yes, so we see that you didn't cancel it. No, no, no, no,
I canceled it. You didn't cancel it. Oh no, we
didn't cancel it. That's what you're being charged. Can I
speak to somebody else? I don't have anyone available here,
I said, can I anyone else?

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Well, if I put anyone else on the phone, so
they're going to tell you it wasn't canceled. I know
it wasn't canceled. Is there someone I can speak?

Speaker 3 (42:43):
All we can do, sir, is cancel it now and
not charge you for next month. So that's where it stands.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
Scary. I'm out. I'm out eight.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
Times ten ninety nine, which is you know, roughly eighty
eight dollars minus, you know, so out that money for
you know you're gonna get credit for it. So no, no,
he told me not. He goes you didn't cancel it.
I said, oh, you didn't cancel it. If you start over,
you hang up on the guy, start over and get

(43:12):
someone else on the phone who understands your predicament.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
I mean you said it yourself.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
You how many times have you walked into home depot
ran into the same buzzsaw with different people you go
down that fourth or fifth time that you go somewhere else,
speak to somebody else at that same place, or even
in another location, you get your problem solved. Same situation here. Yeah,
you don't like it. You know, it's like the when
the computer's acting up on you. You got to reboot

(43:38):
the computer. Right, shit's fucking up? What nine out of
ten times? What's the solution? What's the fix?

Speaker 1 (43:43):
You reboot the computer?

Speaker 3 (43:45):
So you fucking reboot, fucking hit the reset button. You
make a different phone call. I guarantee you you're gonna
get your money one hundred percent. Well, let me tell
you what happened when I called serious XM. Now, oh
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
The music. Yeah, because the music. Fuck. I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
You know that I have something. I'm not complaining about
this music. I actually have a good customer service, Daise,
you know the worst person ever. I ranted about cheesecake factory,
I rant about traffic, I rand the about customer service.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
No music for people in slice time, bring music. They're
ranting and make fun of the fact out of the music.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
Now when I don't need the music, you play the music.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
You suck it. Turn off the music. You're the worst.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
You finally bring home the music on a time when
I don't. I just ranted about ESPN. You don't turn
the music. I complained about cheesecake factory.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
You don't play the music. You're terrible.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
I was waiting to spring that on you.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
You fuck you. We knew you, fuck you. We need
good customer SERVI.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
There was music, by the way, Curb your Enthusiasm this
season very good. Yeah, but they had an episode where
Larry was upset they stopped serving breakfast at eleven, which
is so me.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Yeah, okay, so serious XM.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
A friend of mine says, who had canceled as serious
XM on his car like a year ago. He's like,
I'm done with it. I don't listen. I'm not enjoying
Howard anymore. I have no use for it.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
Like, okay, I listened on my phone. Whatever I want.
I can play Spotify. It's okay, iHeart whatever. So he
tells me. He tells me. This week, he says, yep,
I broke down. I got serious XM again. I go,
what happened? What made you do that?

Speaker 3 (45:42):
Because I have it in my car right, he says, Well,
I had a promotion five dollars a month, so I
got it for five bucks on you, son of a bitch,
I got mine for six Yeah. Well wait, a minute.
So I'd look at my again. I'd look at my my,
my satellite. Because I was up until right up until January,

(46:03):
I was like eight dollars a month, nine dollars a
month at a promotion. I didn't realize was the promotion
ended and they went back to charging me full price. Uh,
good thing. I looked again. I gotta be more careful.
They're charging me twenty four dollars a month for my bill.
It was like a hits, no, no, So I go,

(46:23):
that's bullshit. Now I have one of the premium plans, right,
I have all the channels. I get MLB network, I
get NFL network, and I get Howard on my car
radio Howard Stern.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
In case you don't know how how it is. Anyway,
I noticed.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
Now you know, our friend Jim Carr at Q one
or four to three in New York just celebrated fifty
years as a morning show host to New York Radio.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yes, he was doing different things all week.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
He started radio when he was like sixteen, and anyway,
he moved to New York from Detroit. Anyway, he got
on the phone with Howard and did an interview with Howard. Yeah,
so I'm like I want to listen to this interview.
So I went in the serious XM app, opened up
the Howard page and it's a Jim curR interview and
it says you or not you can't get this interview.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
Huh, this is not part of a subscription. He goes, bullshit.
I get Howard in the car. Why can't I get
on demand?

Speaker 3 (47:12):
So I call Sirius and again I don't know the price,
And I said, what am I you know? I don't
get that. He goes, you don't have this part of
your package. I said, well, how much would it be
if I want that part of my package? Twenty nine
dollars a month? I go, twenty dollars a month? How
much am I paying?

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Now?

Speaker 3 (47:26):
Twenty four dollars a month? What what you're supposed to
be paying five dollars a month? I go, my friend
just got a deal for five dollars. She says, well,
here must be a promotion. I go, okay, well I
would like a promotion please. Twenty fours a month is
outrageous and I'm not getting Howard's turned on the app.
She says, all right, well, instead of twenty nine dollars,
here's what I can do field, go ahead and beat me, baby,

(47:47):
She says, we'll do twenty four dollars a month.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
He's got it for five.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
She says, well, he doesn't have the he may not
have the sports package.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
And Joey go, twenty four.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
Dollars a month is ridiculous. Yeah, she says, like she's
hold on, let me see what I can do. Let
me see if I can find a code. She comes back,
she shows, how about nineteen ninety five a month? And
I said, oh, how about I cancel my subscription? She said, what,
we don't want you to do that? Yeah, how about
you get the package you have now? And how it's
stern additional upgrade, the Ultimate package whatever, eleven dollars a month.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
I go, ah, you got a deal. You got a deal,
so I called.

Speaker 3 (48:30):
Originally I was paying twenty four without Howard she wanted
to charge me twenty nine, and then I complained, it's
down to eleven. They make up prices and you complain
they lower the price.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
How was it?

Speaker 3 (48:43):
Can you do lower than eleven? I can't do any
lower than eleven. I'll take it for eleven. So now
I'm saving thirteen dollars a month of what I was
paying and I got the extra package.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
It's unbelievable. Everybody at Serious XM's paying a different amount,
that's for sure.

Speaker 4 (48:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
I knew that. I knew that.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
I knew that I was dollars versus five dollars. I
was put twenty four dollars. I was paying free ninety nine,
you know, because I had my car and I got
in a call. They give it to you for a year,
so the year was up. I threatened to cancel. They
came back with me to me like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
where are you going?

Speaker 4 (49:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Yeah, and they actually I actually disconnected it. It was gone,
and then they were like, well, we want you back.
It's like that, you know, the desperate, the desperate girlfriends.
You a car, I'll buy you a car. It's like
you whatever you need. Yeah, so six bucks, I said,
six dollars, I'm in.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
I'm back, right back, baby, six dollars a month. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Yeah, you can always get a better deal out there's
always a better deal out there for you, but you
gotta be willing to walk away.

Speaker 4 (49:46):
Walk.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
I was willing to walk I know. Yeah, you're twenty
four dollars a month. The fuck, dude, you're you're best
in show when it comes to this ship. A great movie,
by the way, a great movie. You're literally like the
guy who is the poster boy for out walking away
and getting yourself a better deal.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
But you got to be willing to do that otherwise.
I told you. I'm sure.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
I told you guys three, you got to show you.
I walked out of Dodge. By the way, you got
you got the hell out of Dodge. I got the
hell out of Dodge. Yeah, they uh or my cowboy boots.
They wouldn't they wouldn't give me. They wouldn't match a
deal that another dealership was offered me.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Right.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
It was like, I've been buying calls here for years.
It's twenty dollars a month on the lease. Walking out,
that's the worst thing you could do. Walk out the second,
the second you make a move for the door. Yep,
they're yours. They came out to the parking lot and
they were like, let me, let me, let me say
what I can do, and they matched it. That's like, please,
that's haggling one on one, pretend like you don't need it,

(50:42):
and then the next thing you do is like, you
know what, maybe I'll come back tomorrow. They know that
they have a chance that you're going to go to
the competition.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
You don't want to lose. You don't want to lose
twenty bucks a month. No, you don't.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
Good I didn't want to pay twenty bucks a month.
Good for you, David Brody, Thank you. These are the
ABC's of of haggling and negotiating. So I gotta I
gotta call back Cheesecake Factor until the woman stabbed me
in the arm. Yeah, there you go, it's the podcast.
I think it's time to call my father. We we

(51:13):
gotta call Tony. Don't we call him about dude? The
speed Oh he was wearing uh on the on the trip,
the banana hammock in front of my nephews and niece. No, no,
Brody's Brody's lying, you know. Don't tell the slices that

(51:35):
they're gonna believe. Don't they saw the pig the videos.
He wasn't wearing a fucking thong or a boar at tongue,
or a bikini or on the nude beach.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
He wasn't.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
He was wearing nothing. Get out your father, boy. The
reason why I want to call Tony? Yeah, don't I
mean he's I. I just don't understand his rationale. So recently,
my sister uh redid her house. She got the house
completely renovated and with that comes the kitchen appliances. Got

(52:05):
a brand new oven, but that has a brand news
a whole bunch of space to like relax and lay out.
So she was kind enough to volunteer to have Easter
at her house. So we're gonna do Easter by my sisters. Okay,
am I coming for that too? Or am I just Christmas?

(52:25):
I think you're the Christmas special at my brother's house. Okay, brother,
he's gonna take brody and small doses. I hear you
saying here.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
So so we're figuring, all right, what are we gonna eat?

Speaker 3 (52:37):
And you know, there's all kinds of stuff that my
sister can make, and then we're gonna do a combination
of taking some food out and some heating things up
and some using her braised rabbit.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
No, but my sister, is it wrong to have rabbit
on Easter? No, it's all right.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
For a lot of people, a lot of a lot
of Catholics and Italian Catholics, they eat rabbit or they
eat lamb's head, head of a lamb oh.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Or baby goat? Remember that?

Speaker 3 (53:02):
Yeah, baby goat? Yeah, but you can't eat it. You
can't eat rabbit on Easter. It's like eating sant on Christmas.
You wouldn't eat sant on Christmas. No, I'm not saying
we do that, but some people it's in some people's tradition.
Some people, some people get a suckling pig. No, it's
it's like eating Moses on Passover.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
You can't do that. You can't eat a pig. No,
you can't eat a pig. I didn't bring that up.
Of course you can. It's a half pass over.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
People eat ham on on a Easter, not on passover.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Pass over. You don't. No, no, no, you pass over
the ham like no ham, No, no pork. Well so,
because hold hold on a second.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Did you see the story yesterday They implanted a pig
kidney and some guy.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
No, I didn't hear about this.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
The guy's gotta eat. They got an oil. Was it
kidney or a liver, doesn't really matter? They they I
think it was a kidney. They mutated the pig, somehow
genetically altered the pig. Sorry about the pig. I'm sorry
for activists. I'm I'm just saying, mh. They were able
to take the pig the kidney out of the pig.
You can't take the pig out of the kidney. And
the guy's living with a pig kidney. And Nate, Nate

(54:09):
from the Big Show, doesn't he have like a cow
heart or pig heart. He's got one of those. A
kid pig valve, a kid pigmy, he's got a he's
got a pork hall a pig kidney, A kid picks
a kid pigmy like a no, a pigmy, A pigmy
is a he's got a pigny. No pig no, a
pigmy is Isn't that like a race of people, the pigmies. Yeah,

(54:29):
so he's it's not a kid pigmy, it's a pig kidney, right,
pig kidney, Okay, not a kid pigny and not a
yeah anyway, So they were able to transplant an organ
from a pig into a human sign, which then made
me feel guilty because last night, who was I What
did I do on the phone with you last night?

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Where was I picking up food from last night? A
Chinese restaurant? Right? I got? What did I get? You got?

Speaker 3 (54:53):
Roast pork, lo maine, no vegetables, that's correct. I tried
a new place. I will tell you my Chinese food story.
After we finished your r which you keep getting sidetracked from.
I don't know how that happens. I don't know you're
talking about your father. Then when we went off the rails, well, no,
my sister said, she's taking the easter Oh you're eating
easter bunnies new house. No, no, no no, So I said,
I got a great idea. Let's have lamb chops because

(55:14):
we lamb chops are very popular for Easter. Sure, my
father says, no, no, no, I don't want.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
I don't want.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
I don't want your sisters cooking cooking lamb chops. It's
gonna it's gonna ruin ruin her ruin oven. What I said, wait,
wait what? Because yeah, it splatters all over the place,
makes a big mess. She's gonna ruin her oven, I said, Dad,
they're made for cooking. What are you supposed to do

(55:42):
with the fucking oven? You're supposed to put food in it?
Food will splash, food wle splatter, ovens will get dirty.
He's like, no, no, no, she's gonna ruin her oven.
Let's just go in a porkloid doesn't make much of
a mess. I'm like, what, so I wanted to call
I wanted to call my father, okay, and confront of

(56:03):
him about this. I mean, I don't know if he's
going to answer. Maybe he will, maybe he won't.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Maybe he's out with his friends, maybe he's speedo shopping.
I really hope he answers. But today and I answered
the phone, Anthony, it's always tell them maalke is.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
I just want to get to the bottom of this.
You know, did they call the house? I think I
accidentally called the house. You big dummy, Your big dummy,
You big dummy. Meanwhile, I want to call you a
house and forwards to your phone.

Speaker 4 (56:37):
Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 3 (56:38):
No, I was checking up on you last night, see
if you will go you went out last night. Well, well,
maybe he'll call me sometime during the rest of this podcast.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
But could you imagine that, dude.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
We got a lot of feedback from Less on the
phone people. Somebody asked me if Less was single. They
wanted me to hook him up with Less one of
our listeners. I'm not gonna mention the name. I follow
up on a future podcast. Hey, this reminds me when
are we getting Spruce on the phone.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
You got to give me more heads up than when
are we getting Spruce on the phone? Well, I mean, well,
the listeners want to hear Spruce. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
I'll call him right now while I'm on the phone
with you, and i'll see if he has time. But
he's working right now. Yes, Friday, we're recording this on
a Friday.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Folks.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Do you know that I'm coming up on the most
unproductive time of the day. I bet you didn't know this,
but two thirty eight PM on a Friday is when
most people check out for the week. They're done after
two thirty eight You're not going to get any productivity
out of your workers.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Spruce.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
Hey, Spruce, you're on the podcast through my phone.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Let me call a wait, let me call Spruce. Do
you have two minutes to talk on the podcast?

Speaker 4 (57:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (57:52):
The listeners think the listeners think you died. Yes, we're
gonna call you. Oh nice talk, come out you impromptu?
I'm quiet, yes, but they hear you saying that it
won't be a surprise.

Speaker 4 (58:10):
Why what do you want with me?

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Spruce on the loose? You got the jingle what's going along? Happen?

Speaker 4 (58:17):
Scary? What's going on? Are you in trouble? No? You
need bail?

Speaker 2 (58:21):
Mommy, listen, do you need Bennett Brody in trouble? Does
he need bail money?

Speaker 1 (58:26):
I gotta tell Spruce what you did? Spruce? It's been.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
First of all, it's been. It's been about one hundred episodes.
The listeners have been asking for you. The slice is like,
when you're gonna get Spruce on? Brody makes these empty promises,
and I'm trying to get my dad on the phone.
He's not available right now, so I figured we would
just I will use back up plan. What.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
Well, you're not the backup.

Speaker 4 (58:45):
Call it, I'm the dad substitute.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Well, my father.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
I was trying to call my father and ask him
why he didn't want to have lamp chops for Easter
because my sister got a new oven and he didn't
want to the lamp chops to splatter everywhere because it's
gonna ruin her oven.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
That's what we were doing.

Speaker 4 (59:01):
Scary. Why don't I pretend like I'm your dad right now? Oh?

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Like I'm your dad playing Hey Dad, Dad, Hello son.

Speaker 3 (59:12):
So Jennifer wants to have Easter in her house, and
I know she guys know.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
Jennifer can't cook.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Oh my god, Jennifer.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Well, aside from that, I wanted to. I wanted to
get these lamb chops dad, and I wanted to. I
wanted to bring them over the house, and I wanted
Jennifer to cook.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Him in her brand new oven. What do you think?

Speaker 4 (59:33):
All right?

Speaker 2 (59:34):
Well, look, you know how much I love lamb chops,
and you know how much Jennifer is my second favorite child.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
So whatever you want to do, I'm down to do
it with your son because I love you. You're the
greatest son of all time.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
That sound nothing like his father and you and you
reacted exactly the opposite how he's going to react when
we get him on the phone. Scary Scary as his
fourth favorite child and he only has three. So Spruce, Spruce,
two very important things, what Spruce? Two things you need
to know. Number One, I've missed since the last time
you were on. Number one we were talking about the

(01:00:12):
Doobie Brothers, and Scary was his mind was blown. He
had no idea that Michael McDonald was white.

Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
Oh my god, Scary, where have you been?

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
Because he said he has that soulful sound. I had
no idea he sounds like, what scary? What does he
sound like?

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
What he's Hey, Michael McDonald is vanilla chocolate.

Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
He really is.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Thank you. See I know I'm not crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Yeah, he's got a he's got a real soulful sound.

Speaker 5 (01:00:42):
But there's been so many videos, uh yeah with him
saying the Internet.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
He's not.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
It's not like there's no pictures and video of him.
He didn't believe me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
I had he hadn't look it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Up on his phone. He's like, you're lying. I call
mc donald. How many black people do you know named McDonald?

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
First of all.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
Brothers? You know name McDonald's.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
I'm sorry, I just he just I never knew. I
never saw pictures or video of him. He was in
the seventies, it was before my time. He can't still
picture video. So this was like ten minutes of him
in disbelief. Okay, and what was the second thing that
you had to tell? Here's the other thing, Spruce. So
last episode, last episode, I think, or the episode before.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
It's one of the last two episodes. Scary comes on.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
He says he has a theory that tall people get
picked up in bars, even if they're not attractive, that
a tall guy will get women because women love tall guys.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Right, so he gets his friend less on the phone.

Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
Well, first of all, Brody didn't believe me that was
a thing. No, that was part of the story, because
that's why I called my buddy left Spruce. Do you know,
hold on, Spruce, do you think a six foot five
ugly guy has a better chance to see to seven
six foot seven ugly guy or average guy has a
better chance with going in a bar than a five
foot ten pretty good looking guy.

Speaker 4 (01:02:08):
Well, uh, a six You know what, A lot of
women think. The tall guy is blessed, gifted.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
That's what I said.

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
It's gonna be a thing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Yeah, but I tell you you know, I like tall women.
My last girlfriend was six y five, my guy, and
when we went out, guys were all over her.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Yeah you mean she was the athlete right, Yeah, my god, yeah,
the volleyball Yeah, oh my god. She was gorgeous, but
she was she She was intimidatingly attractive.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
But she was beautiful, though, Spruce. She wasn't just tall.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
She she used to wear high heels and cocktail dresses
and it made her look like she was even taller,
but she.

Speaker 4 (01:02:49):
Was six she's six five.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Yes, she's running. Scary, You're gonna have to show me
her name later. So so so continue, okay, okay. So
he says, let me call my friend Less to verify
that this other friend of ours and that in general,
tall guys do really well. She calls Less, and here's
something you should know other than you, Less is the
only black person he knows. That is not true. That

(01:03:14):
is not true, Spruce. No, we get we get with.
First of all, I yelled, it's scary, because he says
to me, let's call.

Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
My black friend Maxwell. I know Maxwell.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Okay, he says. He says, let me call my friend,
my friend. He's black, is my friend? His name is Less?
I go, Are you telling me your your black friend
is Less?

Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
He says, yes.

Speaker 4 (01:03:35):
I go.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
So it's not equal to white people. You know what,
Bry's putting words in my mouth and look bad.

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
Don't disrespect Spruce, but the whole, the whole. Hold on,
hold on, I'm getting to it, so, I said, I
said to the last. First of all, Less, I said Less, I.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Said, Less.

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
Does he ever mammn you? He pauses, He goes, you know,
I'll come and think of it. Yes, he demands me
all the time.

Speaker 4 (01:04:00):
You're a man black less.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
His name is less. It's not black less. Say he's
black less. His name is less.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
Okay, I don't know two lessons, and he's the first one.
So he'll always be less. If I meet a white less,
that person is white less, and less is still less.
You understand, he is less and white less will be
less white less.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:04:24):
Okay, But but the less you know is black less.

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Right, his name is less. Okay, we only we call
him less. We don't call him anything else. We don't
put an adjective in front of him. Spruces name his
nickname is three fifths.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
So so so really it's Spruce.

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
So so the reason why, but the reason why we
did is it was it was the analogy was the
one of a kind.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
Right, So the one of.

Speaker 3 (01:04:55):
A kind guy, the tall guy in the bar with
the average guys, is going to get the girl, get
all the girls who are interested in the tall guy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
So the analogy is less. Go ahead, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
So then Less says when I go out, I go
out with mostly white people. If I go to a
white bar, only only only black guy I clean up,
he cleanses.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
If any women there have a.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
Black fetish, I go home with one of them exactly.
So my question is to you, Spruce, has that ever happened?
I know that you've dated some white women. You know
you've dated everyone. When you go to a bar, do
whate Wait, that's right, right, equal opportunity. So when you
go into a bar of all white women, do they

(01:05:39):
do some of them float to you automatically, regardless of
anything other than the fact that you're black.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
Yes see, I told you it works.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
You think I'm crazy, you think I'm fucking on the planet.
But this is real life, Brodie. This is how this
is Spruce, Spruce, you know me. It's human behavior as
well as anybody. You know me for twenty five years.
If I went into a ball uptown and I was
the only white guy killing it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
Is he killing it with the black ladies?

Speaker 4 (01:06:07):
Am I? Am?

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
I hitting a home run? Am I knocking boots? Look?

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
I have to admit, if you know, if you act
like you act, if you be the brody that's been
my bro.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
Hand for over twenty years, and we go into Slovia's in.

Speaker 4 (01:06:26):
Harlem, some black chicks are gonna check for you.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
See, but I'm with ye.

Speaker 4 (01:06:34):
That's what I'm saying. You're with me, so that that
gives you cool back, that gives you cool factor. But
you're funny.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
At the same time, I'm saying, if you act like you,
if you just be you, kicks are gonna check for you.
It just means they checking for you out to you.
I don't like put colors on stuff, but yeah, what
if I'm if you find the women, the women there
that are into white guys, Brodie's the only choice.

Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
They're gonna float to Brody. And unless he does something
really stupid, Brody could get lucky.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
That's probably gonna happen. So but that's been my point.

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
And regardless of color or height, whatever, what I'm trying
to say is when there's one of a kind or
limited edition of of something in a certain place and everywhere,
and there are people there looking for that limited edition thing,
that person automatically wins no matter And again doesn't matter

(01:07:29):
what we're talking about race or we're talking about height
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
But I'm saying, then you're saying, when that unicorn is
in the room.

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
Do you people are gonna look at the unicorn?

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Unicorn they're gonna want, and they're gonna get, and they're
gonna win, no matter what the case is. That even
even like an average below average guy like Brody, he
goes into a bar, Scarry goes into a bar and
every every guy in the boss good look.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
And what Brody is?

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
Black girl handsome? Though?

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
What does that? What does that mean? That's my new
Twitter handle?

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
Girl?

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Like you said, he's average looking, he's white girl average looking,
but black girl handsome.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
I got a nice car, I got I don't have
a job, but I'm working on that, say Spruce, So
be honest with us. Now, you know the girls alone
in your life, you're ever out with a body or
even out alone or with a buddy, and you're looking
to get it, you know, looking to have a good
maybe get a little action, maybe meet someone. Would you
ever go Should we go to the black barn? No,

(01:08:32):
fuck it, Let's go to the white bar. We'll stand
out and definitely hook up.

Speaker 5 (01:08:36):
I go, okay, you know how I am, Brodie, I
usually go where everybody else wants to go.

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
I'm probably usually gonna I'm probably usually going to the
white bar because I know my white.

Speaker 4 (01:08:49):
Friends would be uncomfortable going to the black bar.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
Oh no, that's the terence, and that is what we
wanted to hear. I thought you'd know for your own
personal gain and your own interest. Yeah, no, you forget
about your friends and what they're comfortable with. If you
want a terrible figure tonight, I'm going to get some booty.
Yeah everyone's black. Are you going for you the unicorn?
You're the unicorn? You want to go to the Unicorn place?

Speaker 2 (01:09:13):
Yeah, I'm probably gonna just I'm probably gonna go. Look,
especially if I've been drinking. You know, I'm gonna go
where I don't have to work too hard.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
See my point has been thank you so much. Gates closed. See,
I'm r eye scary. We gotta put on nice clothing,
we gotta dress up. He's just gonna go out with skin.
Because I was saying, he's like, I'm getting some tonight.
I know, and I know it's so trite and it's
so scary. Puts on his suit, Spruce puts on his
birthday suit. But yeah no, yeah no, we And again

(01:09:52):
we're not talking in absolutes. There are no such thing
as black bar or white bar. I mean we're talking
about like we're from the fucking nineteen forties here. But
the truth that we're talking about bars, that that that
skew a certain way. You know, then you know certain
that's all okay. So here's now, this is something I
know people do. I'm not doing it, but I know
people do this. You know, girls sometimes go to gay

(01:10:14):
bars because then they know the guys aren't gonna hit
on them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
Right, it's a great example.

Speaker 3 (01:10:18):
But if but if I walk into a gay bar
as the only straight guy, if I got a shot
with the women, is.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
What you're saying. Yes, they're not to be bothered plas.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
You're gonna be the You're gonna be the gay guys
unicorn because they can.

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
Gay men can smell a straight man from a mile away.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Oh oh, so the guys like, oh my god, there's
the one straight guy in here.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
Let's get them. No, they know there's not the way
gay people are that. But they may be attracted to you.
They may want to flip you. There's no gay men
of what they do whip me.

Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
No, they get my stomach. What are we talking about? Yes, No,
I spruce you and I both know. Spruce you and
I both know that there are are there. I'm not
trying to speak on behalf of gay men. But there
are gay men out there.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
He's gay manning.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
There are gay men out there that it's it's a
challenge to try and get with a straight guy. And
I don't know, I don't know any gay men that
let me want to be with them.

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
One he does it all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:11:25):
M Oh, that's well, but he's he's he's different. I'm
just saying what was not the master bro Brody's trying
to say that that doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
But it doesn't exist. It's not the norm.

Speaker 3 (01:11:37):
I don't want people to think like gay people are
looking at like go into a bathroom and make you gay. No,
I'm not saying, but the same there's also straight guys
that try to turn lesbian straight.

Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
There's that text challenge for them.

Speaker 4 (01:11:49):
If it's.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
The girl says she's a lesbian. I get excited, you
do I get comfortable? Yes, that's great.

Speaker 3 (01:11:59):
You get comfortable. You know you don't have to there's
no stress. It doesn't want you.

Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
There's no stress at all. So that means you could
talk about anything. Right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
You don't get excited like horny.

Speaker 4 (01:12:09):
He didn't mean.

Speaker 1 (01:12:10):
He means he gets excited. There's no pressure.

Speaker 4 (01:12:16):
Death being in a bar situation.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
It doesn't matter whether you're in a flat bar or
white bar, just the bar situation itself. Anytime you talk
to a girl talking to a guy guy talking to
a girl in a bar situation, they think it's an
attempt to hook up.

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
Immediately, that's just the ball mentality. This guy's talking to
me because he's trying to hook up.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
That's the mentality. But if you if a girl says
she's a legend, if you could just chill, you know,
you could just chill and.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Talk and have fun. It's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:48):
Almost every girl I talk to in a bar it
happens to turn out to be gay.

Speaker 1 (01:12:52):
It's amazing. I know what the odds are, but every
one of them is like, I'm gay.

Speaker 3 (01:12:57):
I'm like, but I do also see what Brodie's talking
about when he said that sometimes, if let's say he's
in a gay bar and he's the only straight guy
and there are women there who are straight, he's really
the only choice. So it's except they deliberately went there
not to be you know, with a.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
Guy, right, that's the only problem.

Speaker 3 (01:13:17):
Yeah, And they're like, look at that creep, he's going
to a gay bar trying to get women who don't
want to be be hit on tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:13:23):
All right, but.

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
I've seen I've seen situations where women said they met
their husband in a gay bar.

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
Okay, because he's batman, Liza Minelli.

Speaker 3 (01:13:41):
Stay though, if I walk into a church on Sunday,
is the only Jew I got a shot?

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
That is what you're saying, right, Hello.

Speaker 4 (01:13:50):
Yeah, Christian woman want will want to give you her
holy ghost?

Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Oh you know what this is just points to another
sample of you know, several years ago, it was I
guess this woman who was Jewish, who was very religious
and would only be surrounded by religious Jewish guys. Uh
meant me and I was the you know, I was

(01:14:19):
the unicorn and we dated going back.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
Yes, how do I not know this? I'm going back
to the nineties.

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
Bruh, all the times I put you down from like
and you're like, you never kept juice.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
She kept on kosher.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
She had all the I'm telling you, She celebate, She
got dressed up for poor rum and she made the
hamtashin you know, hummon hum hum and tushin human tash.

Speaker 5 (01:14:45):
Do I have to remind you of the girl that
was the same with you and you, but you were
married and honager you're married and couldn't do anything.

Speaker 4 (01:14:55):
You were like, I'm married. I'm sorry. At the United States.

Speaker 1 (01:15:02):
When I don't remember. Was the old studio, the studio.

Speaker 4 (01:15:06):
Probably the old studio. Probably one of the hottest.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Women period I've ever seen in my life. The one
who worked out, yes, oh, the one who worked by
her office was by the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (01:15:18):
Oh yeah that that. Yeah, she was just like scary
said she was.

Speaker 5 (01:15:25):
I don't you know, I'm sorry, I don't know the
Jewish religion well enough, but she was in a strict
Jewish set and.

Speaker 1 (01:15:34):
No, I'm Jewish. She had to find a Jewish guy.

Speaker 4 (01:15:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15:37):
And she was only like twenty one or twenty two,
and she said, I'm already considered an old maid.

Speaker 4 (01:15:44):
So my parents said, go get.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
A job for a year and kind of get it
out of your system and come back and get married.

Speaker 4 (01:15:53):
Like I said, I don't care what race or whatever.
She was, She's one.

Speaker 2 (01:15:57):
Of the most beautiful women I've ever scene in my life.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
And she was hands down and told me.

Speaker 2 (01:16:06):
The only reason I know this is because she told
me constantly she was.

Speaker 4 (01:16:11):
In love with David Brody. She just thought and brilliant. Yeah,
let him talk.

Speaker 1 (01:16:20):
Hey, at what age did you lose her eyesight?

Speaker 4 (01:16:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:16:23):
Hold on, keep going, he start again.

Speaker 2 (01:16:26):
Remember the Christmas party?

Speaker 4 (01:16:29):
The Christmas party.

Speaker 5 (01:16:31):
She came to and her and Michael, the girl wanted
to have a threesome with you, and you were like.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
They often reach them, and Brody was like, I can't
do that. I'm married.

Speaker 3 (01:16:44):
Didn't they double kissed some other guy at that party?

Speaker 2 (01:16:47):
They doubled they kissed each other in front of you
and said, Brody, this is what you're missing.

Speaker 4 (01:16:52):
And they kissed each other right in front of the restaurant.

Speaker 1 (01:16:54):
And we were at one outside Spruce. The fuck don't
I know this story? Hold on?

Speaker 4 (01:16:59):
You know?

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
You know you know those in the city, those things
called there's called standpipes.

Speaker 1 (01:17:03):
Yeah, and you can sit on them. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
So I was sitting on it outside and the two
girls came out.

Speaker 1 (01:17:10):
They were standing.

Speaker 3 (01:17:11):
There was there was leaning against the wall on each
side of me, and they leaned in front of me
and kissed each other in front of me.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
Oh my god, did you did you stand? Did you stand?

Speaker 4 (01:17:22):
Pipe? Blow?

Speaker 1 (01:17:24):
No? I got up. I'm very loyal to my wife.
I was not comfortable. I was flattered. But I was
not not comfortable at all. And they were.

Speaker 3 (01:17:34):
They were twenty one, twenty two, twenty three whatever at
that point. I think I was thirty four maybe, so
I wasn't like outrageously much older than them. But oh
my god, she knew I was married. I had, you know,
she didn't care. I had at least one kid at
that point. But in that case, you were You were
the unicorn in that situation because you brody. Even though

(01:17:57):
you're Jewish, you're not You're Jewish light, You're like diet
jew right. There were other Jews there, you know what
I'm saying. But no, but she was like by the
letter right, very strict. It was the impression I got
to respect me up here is that she was trying
to like sew her wild oats before she was put
into an arranged marriage or something.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
Oh my god, yes, yes, and you were it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:19):
And that night they even said, Michael and Michael and
scary Michael the girl. I will tell you this, Michael
the girl worked with us.

Speaker 1 (01:18:27):
Not the girl he's talking about.

Speaker 4 (01:18:30):
She was.

Speaker 5 (01:18:31):
Michael was miss the nineteen ninety four Olympic swimming team
by like one second.

Speaker 1 (01:18:41):
It's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:18:42):
She's not the hot She's not the really hot oneing
not that she wasn't attractive.

Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
The other girl was the hot one. He's talking you
could have had him both that night.

Speaker 4 (01:18:49):
Michael Michael was hot enough.

Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
Though Michael was great, I'm saying. The other girl was like, yeah,
I know, I think.

Speaker 4 (01:18:58):
The other girls probably one.

Speaker 2 (01:19:00):
Like I said, top five most beautiful girl I've ever
seen in my life. And you know who I am.
I you know, my first paycheck, I bought my freedom.
That's how old I am.

Speaker 1 (01:19:10):
Wow, Well, I'm not.

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
I'm just happy that Brody did the honorable thing. That
is that is that is crazy scary, right. They were
like three inches from my nose making out.

Speaker 4 (01:19:23):
Yeah right.

Speaker 2 (01:19:25):
And then and that's when Brody and I went back
inside and we made the translation toast to Nick Labitski.

Speaker 4 (01:19:31):
Brody remembers that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:32):
Oh yeah, yeah, so I did.

Speaker 4 (01:19:35):
I did, I did my Italian and you translated.

Speaker 3 (01:19:38):
Nick was a very straight laced, tough boss. Most people
didn't talk to him because they were afraid of him,
but Spruce and I always like didn't give a ship.

Speaker 1 (01:19:47):
We're like, all right, what's up?

Speaker 4 (01:19:48):
Nick?

Speaker 3 (01:19:49):
So we would joke around him because no one else
had the comfortable comfortable level, the comfort level to joke
around him. So Spruce does mack Italian, Spruce, give me
a little mark Italian?

Speaker 4 (01:19:59):
Did they?

Speaker 3 (01:20:01):
And I'm not, Oh though, Yeah, It's like it's like
Latin timee. So Spruce sends up. He wants to give
a toast. We clanked the glasses. He gets up and
I said, I'm gonna translate for him. Spruce does like
this like forty second long mark Italian. I go, he
says hello everyone, and then I don't remember exactly what

(01:20:21):
I said, but I basically know. I was like, I
just want to sa how much he loves He's will.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
To do anything for a raise.

Speaker 3 (01:20:26):
Yeah, he's gonna go down a list of names of
people that have done wrong this year and stole from
the company. You know what, Like I just made ship up.
It was improv that's what we did. That was the toast.
That's great and he loved it. But nobody would joke
with him. They're all like afraid of him, and We're like,
fuck it, we're comedians. Gives a fuck.

Speaker 4 (01:20:41):
Wow, all right, Nick? Is this ex marine and he's
like six four six.

Speaker 1 (01:20:47):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:20:47):
Spruce was like, and I go, you are not the
asshole that that that Mike says, you are.

Speaker 1 (01:20:56):
All right, we gotta wrap it up.

Speaker 3 (01:20:58):
Listen, Spruce, thank you so much for coming on after
one hundred and twenty three episodes of Yes disappearing.

Speaker 1 (01:21:04):
Telling me you're you're almost my almost threesome story.

Speaker 2 (01:21:09):
Oh right, right right, wow, Actually I miss you, guys, man,
miss I.

Speaker 3 (01:21:16):
Got one more question, one more question. We're gonna wrap
it up. I had a go to Walmart yesterday to
return something. As I'm pulling into the Walmart in New Jersey,
I know it wasn't you. A guy comes out of Walmart, Spruce.
He had the same mouth structure, the same lip structure,
the same he had the hat on like you wear.
He looked ninety eight percent like it was you. I

(01:21:37):
did a double take. Now if I get out of
the car and said to him, excuse me, sir, can
I get a picture of you? You look just like
my friend? Would he have been offended that I was
implying something? Or would have been cool? And you would
have gotten the picture of a guy looked just like you.
You think he would have gott mad at meeks afraid?

Speaker 4 (01:21:55):
I think I think it would have been cool. Did
he have braids in his air? Was he sure he loved.

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
Uh No, no braids. It was short hair, Spruce. But
he had the hat on like you wear, lick you
wear most of the time. And so and he looked
just like you. He dressed like you. I'm like, what,
so I shout tain a picture anyway, that's all. Thanks,
call you today, Spruce, Love you, buddy, Love you, but
not in a threesome one, my man.

Speaker 1 (01:22:26):
Take care all right?

Speaker 4 (01:22:28):
Bye bye God.

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
Love, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:22:32):
All right, I guess who blew off everything else we
had planned for today.

Speaker 1 (01:22:36):
But we put together a good show, I would say. So.
All right, we'll get my dad on next week and
thank you everyone who got us. We're gonna autograph it
over the next two weeks. Yeah, boys, boys,