Modern Woman Money with Rachel Rodgers

Business and financial expert Rachel Rodgers is back in the O.R. with some simple tips to help you make more money and achieve your financial goals!
 
Find out how to make credit cards work for you, how to get out of debt, and why you should *still* buy the shoes.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rab An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, scrub Dub Dub. We
have a very exciting guest today because she has scrubbed
in before.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
She has scrubbed in before, and I love the conversation
that she has because she always inspires me, she always
invigorates me. And so she has a new book coming
out called million Dollar Action, Your step by step guide
to making wealth Happen. I figured she needs to scrub
in and share this knowledge with us.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
And it needs to be in person because the last
time we met her was on Zoom. And she is
a woman that brings power and energy everywhere she goes.
She's a self made millionaire. She teaches people how to
basically become their best selves and make the most money.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yes, and she says she likes to help historically excluded
folks build wealth. And so, without further ado, let's welcome Mark.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Guest Rachel Rogers.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Rachel, we have met before, yes, through a screen, Yes,
but we have you in person today and we're so
happy that you're scrubbing in again.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Well, first of all, I love having you on because
I love the conversation about money. I feel like it's
in something especially that women don't talk about often enough,
and it's so important. It's like it's revolves around everything
we do on a daily basis, and yet we don't
talk about all we talk about are I mean, if
you think about it, but we talk about.

Speaker 5 (01:38):
Beauty tips, yeah, beauty dating, yeah, relationship, relationships and work, business,
professional life.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yeah, but we don't talk about the money part. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:51):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Well, And I feel like Easton, I love you and
I love there are men that I love, but I
feel like men don't have any issue talking about money.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Yes, I agree.

Speaker 5 (02:00):
I went to dinner with new friends that I had
just met, and this like, we were talking online and
kind of friendly online, met through someone had a zoom chat,
but then met in person for the first time, and
my husband and my friend's husband were chatting at the
table and my husband within five minutes of meeting them,

(02:21):
is how much you paid for your house? And I
was like, I was horrified, Like how are you just
going to ask these people we just met? And he
told them and I was like afterwards, I was like,
I was mortified when you asked that. He's like, oh,
I'm always going to ask that I asked whatever I
want to know, I just straight up basket and I'm like, is.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
That what y'all do? I'll just tell each other things
the freedom. Yes, I mean me.

Speaker 5 (02:42):
And my friends we talk about money all the time.
And we talked dollars, right like, oh, you're hiring this person,
how much did you pay?

Speaker 4 (02:48):
Or you got to deal with them? What did they
give you? Right? Like we're exchanging notes all the time.

Speaker 5 (02:52):
But I feel like it's not done publicly enough right, So,
and even like I still would feel sheepish about asking
someone how much they paid for their house, Like, yeah,
that feels a little especially so when I just.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Met I know I would never but like it's the
thing is you're right, It's like also knowledge is power, yes,
And also why is there this stigma around it?

Speaker 3 (03:12):
You know what I mean? Like it's like we're all
trying to make money, We're all.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Trying to make it, we're all trying to make more
of it, So why are we doing that?

Speaker 5 (03:19):
I think there's something that's like considered noble when you
pretend that you don't care about money, so you pretend
that you don't want to talk about it, or you
pretend that you don't care how much you're being paid
or how much somebody else is making or whatever. Like
you pretend that you're not leaving your friend's house and
then going to look up how much they just paid
for it when they bought a new house, like everybody
does that.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
It's public knowledge, right, true.

Speaker 5 (03:39):
So I think there's this sort of like fake nobility
to like I'm above money, but like none of us
are above money, literally none. So we unless you live
off the gridge, you're not above it. And you need
to have it, understand it. It gives you options, it
gives you freedom. So it's clearly very important. And I
don't know why we do this thing where it's like, oh,

(04:02):
I don't care about money. I've had members of my community,
like we have something called the club where all of
our clients are in there, and someone would be like, well,
I don't really care about money. And as soon as
I see that, like I am all over it. And
I'm like, first of all, you're lying, yeah, with respect,
you lie it, okay, And I nip it in the
bud because I'm like, we're not doing that here.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
We're not pretending, right, We're gonna be honest with each other.

Speaker 5 (04:24):
We're gonna be real with each other and we're not
gonna do this fake thing where we pretend like we're
better than somebody else because we don't care about money.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
That is just a lie.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, I'm going to just start here because I feel
like there's so much to talk about, because I really
want to get into You have a step by step
guide to making wealth happen. So I want you to
give us the first step. Yes, but I want to
talk about women asking and negotiating for more money because
sixty percent of women don't do it. Yes, they're scared too,
And how do you a make it easier for a

(04:54):
woman to renegotiate her salary or whatever, ask for more
money and be if they're then Matt with we're not
going to give you that.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
What do you do?

Speaker 4 (05:02):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (05:03):
Well, something that I learned in law school. I took
mediation classes and they were like, when you go when
you enter into a negotiation, you have to always know
your botana, and botana is best alternative to a negotiated agreement.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
It's like, am I works?

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Do you know that? I don't know what that.

Speaker 5 (05:24):
Means, but there's it's a great it's from a great
book called Getting to Yes that's about negotiation and mediation
and it is fascinating, but like, you have to know
your best alternative to a negotiated agreement when you go in.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
So what does that mean?

Speaker 5 (05:37):
That means you're not in control of the outcome, but
you're in control of what you do. And Okay, I'm
going to bring in therapy, which is random, but it
makes sense. So you know, like when I talk to
my therapist and I'm like, this thing really bothered me,
but blah blah blah, and she's like, it's bothering you
because you didn't say anything. And I'm like, well, I
didn't say anything because I didn't want to argue, and
I didn't you know, I'm talking about like arguing with
my husband. I don't want to argue and he's not

(05:59):
going to listen to me anyway. We've had this conversation before.
She's like, it's not about the outcome. It's about standing
up for yourself, saying what you want and getting it out.
Otherwise it stays in here and it becomes insidious, right Like,
so you have to get it out and stand up
for yourself.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
That's part of it.

Speaker 5 (06:14):
So part of it is learning how flexing the muscle
of claiming your value and dropping it into your boss's mind,
your company's mind, whoever you're interacting with what your value is,
making sure they know, not hoping they know, making sure
that they know right. And so you go in and
you make the ask whatever it is, and make sure

(06:35):
you can back it up right. So like if you're saying, hey,
I want another twenty five thousand dollars and here's what's
going to do for this business, Like, make sure you
understand what does your boss care about? What are their
metrics that they're trying to hit one of the things
that keep them up at night, and how can you
make that happen for them and make it easier for
that to happen for them? And then go in with
that pitch and use receipts right like, oh I did this,

(06:57):
this and this and it made the company X.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
Right.

Speaker 5 (06:59):
Sometimes they're happy that you're doing the work, but they're
not thinking about it because they're distracted with other things.
So how can you make sure that they know? And
that's part of why it's important to have the conversation now.
So sometimes you have the conversation and If they don't
say yes immediately, that's fine. What's your best alternative to
a negotiated agreement? So if they're not going to give
you twenty five, maybe maybe they agree to eighteen and
you're happy with that, right, or maybe they don't. They

(07:22):
say I can do it right now, but I'm going
to put you on Like in our company, we'll put
them on a plan. It's a ninety day what we
call OKR, which is objectives and key results, very corporate whatever,
but it works anyway. So we put them on a
plan and say, Okay, here's what we need you to
accomplish in the next ninety days. You got to accomplish
these things first. Then we can have a conversation about

(07:43):
a raise or promotion, right Like we want to see
show that you can do it right if they don't
already have that track record, and then they can get it.
So let's say you're not going to get it. What's
your best alternative? Is it finding another job? Is it,
you know, maybe applying to a different department, is it
starting a side hustle, is it learning to invest? Whatever
it is. It's like, what's my play? You're not disempowered,

(08:03):
It's not over because somebody said, no, So what's my
next play if it doesn't work right? Or maybe you
go back and say, if you can't give it to
me today, when can you give it to me? What
do you need to see from me to be able
to give me that twenty five thousand?

Speaker 4 (08:16):
What is the version? Because this is what I tell
my children.

Speaker 5 (08:19):
My son brought home three a's and two b's, and
I said, I want you to go to each of
these teachers where you've got to be and say what
do I need to do to get an Oh?

Speaker 4 (08:27):
My, and that's what he did.

Speaker 5 (08:28):
He went and asked them and they said, oh, you
need to raise your hand more in class, or you
know whatever, whatever little things he needed to work on.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
And so now he.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
Knows right like that, how will we find out if
we don't ask what do you need to see from
me to get that twenty five grand? Because that's what
I'm letting you know that I want. So let me
tell you what I need to see, and as a boss,
I will tell you immediately what I need to see,
right because I know what I'm trying to do. So
you can help me get there, then I'm happy to
pay you.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
You know, Yeah, I was gonna I was gonna ask
about how you if you have those conversations with your kids.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Not so much I was.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
I wasn't going in the grades department, but thinking about
financial But I think the importance of telling your child
or teaching them how to ask yes questions.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
I would never ever, ever have done that as a kid.
And when you think, I would just get my grade,
and I'll just get my grade. And that's why I
feel like I'm doing in life. I just get my
I get I'm getting my whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
Salary, and I'm just getting it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (09:23):
Well, that's how most people think about it. Yeah, I
want us to not do that.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
I'm so just went off. I love that I've been
doing it wrong my whole life.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
No wrong, you've been doing it the way that we're
all tundishited.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yes, And I also think a lot of people are
in environments where they feel replaceable.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
You know, they're made to feel replaceable.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, I don't want this.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
We'll find someone.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
I'll find someone else.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Well, here's the bottom line. We all are replaceable on
some level.

Speaker 5 (09:50):
I've spent my entire last fourteen years replacing myself in
the business so that I don't have to be there
for us to get the result. And now we're just
now getting there, right, So the CEO and founder, I'm replaceable, right,
So my replaceable literally everybody else on the team, We're
all replaceable in some way in a professional context. That
doesn't mean you don't advocate for yourself. So true, because

(10:11):
the bottom line is you're there now today and you've
been there for however long you've been there, and especially
if you have a track record, like what's gonna annoy
I know what annoys me as a boss is if
somebody comes to me and is like, hey, I want
to make more money, can you pay me another fifteen thousand?
And I'm like, can you get the things done that
I've been assigning you?

Speaker 4 (10:28):
And like you're you're always late with.

Speaker 5 (10:30):
Your projects, right, Like you're not getting things done on time.
Your team members are complaining about you.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
That's not going to work.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
And I will be very frank and have a very
honest conversation if somebody comes to me, especially my gen
z ers, they love to come to me and they
think like money should just fall from the guy and
hit them in the head because they feel like it
and I'm like, that's not how this works, at least
not here at this company, right, Like, you gotta work,
just like I gotta work. I have to work, and
I'm the founder, which means you also got to work, right, Like,

(10:56):
that's how this works. So you know, we just want
to be always clear what are the goals of the role,
like what what are what is accomplishing the goal?

Speaker 4 (11:05):
What is going above and beyond?

Speaker 5 (11:06):
Because they think just showing up is deserving of a raise,
right And I'm like, no, no, no, showing up is
deserving of the paycheck, right like you did. You showed up,
you did the job, you checked the boxes, You get
the paycheck. If you want more than that, if you
want me to consider more, what what more am I
getting in exchange for?

Speaker 4 (11:23):
What's the value exchange here? Right?

Speaker 5 (11:26):
Or is it already true that I'm already underpaying for
the value that I'm getting, right?

Speaker 1 (11:30):
You know?

Speaker 4 (11:30):
And if I'm underpaying, okay, cool? Trust me.

Speaker 5 (11:32):
There are certain people that will come to their boss
or to me right that are extremely valuable players on
the team that if they came and asked me for
a raise, I'd be worried, like, oh, I can't have
them leave. Yeah, my players don't be walking out the door,
you know, So then I'm gonna be like, h well,
what do we need to do?

Speaker 4 (11:52):
Right, talk to me first before you go look for
another job.

Speaker 5 (11:55):
Right, So, and you want to be that person like,
am I somebody that my boss would fight to keep
me here? Right I were to leave where they'd be
worried if I went to the competition. That's the kind
of player you want to be, because then people are
going to be throwing money at you because you're so
valuable and you are like here, let's be real, right,
you are going to be in places where people undervalue

(12:15):
you no matter what. And that's when you got to
walk out the door and go find someplace else where
they will value you or build your own thing.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Okay, speaking of I feel like we were talking about this.
Everybody wants to be making more money, yes, period, Right,
I don't.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
Care who you are, Like, everybody wants to make more money.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
What do you do if you are in a nine
to five and let's say there's a cap there, like
how much you can make on your nine to five,
but you really want to make more money. You want
to start building wealth. What's like the easiest thing that
you can do if you're in a nine to five
to build wealth.

Speaker 5 (12:50):
I think the easiest thing you could do is step one.
First of all, think about your mindset, like what are
your beliefs around money, Like what you said earlier, right, well,
I make the paycheck I make and that's that. So
if that's your belief then immediately you're cutting off all
other opportunities. So the first thing is shifting your mindset
and being entrepreneurial. We'll we're all selling labor at the

(13:10):
end of the day. We're either that or we're selling
a software, we're selling something we made, right, but either way,
it's like we're all selling our labor. So we need
to think entrepreneurially and not just think, oh, this is
the paycheck and that's what it is. You can negotiate there.
Another option is you can invest or. You can build
a side hustle or start speaking, start write a book, right, like,

(13:32):
get some brand deals on the side on social media,
whatever it is. But there's always another avenue to earn more.
And those are the options I think, like become an entrepreneur,
or become an investor, or you could always get another job.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
That's an option too.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Right.

Speaker 4 (14:02):
I was listening to your you were a guest on.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
The Balance Black Girl podcast, Yes, and you were saying
how you talked about the mindset, and then you were
talking about how you have to take risk and you
have risks and you have to be able to say
like you you referenced yourself and said, I'm at a
point where I'm not happy with what I'm making. So
if I try and I fail, I'm at this point.

(14:30):
But what if I try and I succeed, then it
could be life changing?

Speaker 4 (14:33):
Right?

Speaker 1 (14:34):
But my question is, so what if someone goes and
chases their dream, they take the risk and it doesn't
work out, Then where do you begin? Because at that point,
you've given up something that was already you know, getting
you by, and then you put your hopes and dreams
into this thing you didn't succeed. Yeah, what happens next
after you try that?

Speaker 5 (14:54):
Well, then you just go back to working a job
you hate. That's an easy thing to do, right, It's
always easy to get a job you hate. That's the
easiest thing in the world. So go back to getting
a job you hate. So you pay your rent and
eat and then you figure out your next move. The
risk is means that you could fail, right, and it
could not work out, right, and that's how it is.

Speaker 4 (15:15):
There's no guarantee, and that's how you build wealth.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Right.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
You have to be willing to go into territory where
there's no guarantee and there's no The risk is a
spectrum too, right, It's not like the most riskiest thing
in the world. It works for like ninety eight percent
of investors, right, Like, it works for a lot of people,
So the chances of it working probably is high depending
on what it is. Do you want to be make
calculated risks like don't just you know, jump off a

(15:39):
cliff the financial equivalent, Right, You're not going to do that,
but understand that you could fail, and if you fail,
it just means Okay, I tried it, I learned some things.
I learned what doesn't work. Now now I'm actually in
a better position. I'll give you another example from my team.
If somebody makes a big mistake on my team, they're like,
oh my god, I'm gonna get fired. I'm like, no, no, no,

(16:00):
you just became more valuable to me because you will
never make that mistake again because it was so painful
for you, so you've learned it. If I fire you
and hire somebody else, now I gotta wait for them
to start making those.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
Mistakes, right Yeah.

Speaker 5 (16:11):
So actually it's the same as an entrepreneur. If you
make a mistake or if it doesn't work, you launch something,
you try something and it fails, you've learned something, right.
That was your tuition that you had to pay to
get that education. Now you are better educated to try again,
and the next time you're going to know what not
to do, and you can try some other things and
you have a higher likelihood that it's going to work.

(16:32):
So I think we just have to let go of
this idea that everything has to be guaranteed.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
It's not guaranteed. That's what it is.

Speaker 5 (16:39):
Them's the breaks, right, Like, yeah, we got to be
willing to take the risk. And as long as we're
willing to take the risk and try it and then
have a backup plan, right So, like, Okay, if this
doesn't work, I have this little pilo cash that can
hold me for a month or two while I go
find another crappy.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
Job that I and regroup and then get back out there.

Speaker 5 (16:57):
Do you know how many every success story that we've
seen in our lives, no matter what category it is,
has so many failures behind them.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
And that's actually what lee.

Speaker 5 (17:06):
Failing is this, that's the stairway to success failure. So
if you're just if you're not failing, or if you're
not at risk of failure, you're not on your way
to success.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
It's so true because that's the thing, Like, if you're
just staying stagnant, you're just staying stagnant.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
You're not moving forward. You have to risk to move forward. Yes,
sometimes you may risk and fall, yes, And sometimes you
may risk and reward exactly.

Speaker 5 (17:33):
Or sometimes you may risk and there's like two steps back,
but then three steps forward.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
So do you find that most people just stay in
that risk averse lane in life? They just make their paycheck,
live their lives, budget out their money, and call it
a day.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
Some people are very content with that, And I think.

Speaker 5 (17:51):
We're all after contentment, right, Like that's actually what we're
all after at the end of the day. So if
you're content with your current situation, don't change it. You're
happy live your best, you know what I mean? Maybe
the only other thing I would say to do is
definitely invest and invest beyond you know, putting into your
four one kr ira, Like there's limits to that, so

(18:11):
like go beyond that and put extra in an investment
account to just have that extra cushion, you know, to
protect this life that you're enjoying. Yeah, but other than that,
if you're living your best life, enjoy it, like have
a great time.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Right if I want, if I want to do.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
In your work book, as you said, you give step
by step to building wealth. What's the first step that
someone needs to take.

Speaker 5 (18:37):
They need to take stock of the story that they're
telling themselves about their relationship with money. That is step one.
So it's like that mean that means like, so if
you're like, Okay, I realize I've just put a ceiling
on my income, I've said, oh, my job pays me
this amount of money and that's all I'm going to
ever earn.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
End of story. Or you could say, actually, there's so.

Speaker 5 (18:56):
Much opportunity to earn money, and I have my evening
free or my weekends free, or someone offered me an
opportunity and I could have made money from it, but
I said no. So recognizing that you have much more
control of your financial situation than you're giving yourself credit
for is step one. Right, and so challenging the beliefs
that my salary is the end of the story. No,
that's just the beginning. That's like, that's your financing for

(19:19):
what you're really trying to build, you know. It's like, Okay,
this is just this is my VC funding, right, My
salary is my VC funding.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
That's funding my life while I go build this thing,
you know.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (19:30):
So that's a different way to think about it. And
it's also like what other stories. I'm not good with money.
You have to save every dollar. I can't be trusted
with money. I'm always going to be broke. I'll never
get out of debt. There's so many stories that are
very common that we tell ourselves. And I used to
tell myself these stories too, because I grew up in
a house with a lot of financial hardship, so I

(19:52):
could easily tell my story that I'm not good with money.
My account's always going to be overdraft. I'm always going
to be the one calling the bank like please reverse
those fees. You know, I'm always gonna be like embarrassed
about my financial situation. I'm never gonna get out of debt.
I told myself all those stories, and then I met
a coach who was like, yeah, stop that, and I
realized that I was playing a tape in my head,

(20:12):
like almost twenty four to seven about like I'm not pretty,
I'm you know, I'm bad with money, I'm always gonna
be in debt, I'm not talent enough, no one's ever
gonna hire me. Like I just told myself crappy things
all day long that are not helpful, and they're not motivating.
They're demotivating. So if you're like, well, I'm not taking
the action, I don't know why I'm not.

Speaker 4 (20:31):
It's the thoughts.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
It's like you have to change the story in your
mind first, then you're gonna take action. But if you
don't believe it's possible, you're not gonna take any action.
And there's I have examples of this where clients that
I've coached, that I've been supporting, but they can't They're
so attached to the story they can't let it go.
And if they if they're so holding onto the story,
then the action becomes pointless because you don't believe it's

(20:55):
gonna do anything for you.

Speaker 4 (20:57):
So that is step one.

Speaker 5 (20:58):
Always is taking stock of the stories you told yourself
and just thinking about like, what are the memories that
I have about money from my childhood that are sticking
in my mind when I think about money, what I
learned about money from my parents or from my childhood,
what jumps out at me? And write down those stories
and then write down, like, are what is my belief
based on this story?

Speaker 2 (21:17):
You know what's so interesting when you say that. So
I'm currently planning a wedding. Yes, and this is like
the first thing because I've never bought a home on
my own, so this is kind of like the first
thing that's like a big financial thing in my life.
And like I have such a hard time doing it
because I think I've always had like a scarcity mindset

(21:37):
with money. Yeah, And I don't know where that comes from.
I should probably talk to my therapist about it. But
like I always want to I never want to spend
so much. I always want to have just in case
something happens, Like I'm always that girl. And so I'm
finding it hard, like spending all that money on a
wedding because I'm like, it's one day. But then i
also have the other side of me where I'm like
I've been waiting for this my whole life. Yes, when
people and I get a lot of girls a dm

(21:57):
ME about planning a wedding and like budgeting and stuff
like that. How would you advise somebody who's planning a
wedding and like how much they should spend versus not?

Speaker 5 (22:05):
Yes, I think this is similar to any large purchase
or really any investment, Like you can get real granular
on a daily basis. I think the key is are
you spending money on the things that matter to you?

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Right?

Speaker 5 (22:18):
Do you care about this enough to spend significant sums
of money about it? And that's what it's about. I'm
not the person that's like, oh, save all your money,
you know, like, never spend anything, don't buy fancy shoes.
I'm like, buy all the shoes, buy everything you want,
spend zero dollars on anything you don't care about.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
And I think when we go through life.

Speaker 5 (22:37):
You realize sometimes when I do like like a spring
cleaning kind of thing with my finances and I just
did it recently, and you go through and you're like, what.

Speaker 4 (22:46):
The hell is this thing that I'm paying for? Like
that I've been paying for this for sixteen months? What
the hell is this?

Speaker 3 (22:51):
Right?

Speaker 4 (22:51):
And it's like I don't even use this thing.

Speaker 5 (22:53):
So you realize there's all this money going out the
door for stuff you don't care about, and the key
is making sure that everything that's going out the.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Door, you're like, yeah, that was worth it, you know.

Speaker 5 (23:02):
And so if the wedding is something that matters to you,
it's such a cultural thing. It can be very like
tied to family, tied to culture. I eloped because my
sister had a hit, huge wedding and I was like, no,
thank you, this is not for me. I don't want
to do like I don't I don't want an audience
in front of my relationship. And I'm still like that,
like I don't share my relationship on Instagram, like I'm not.
I just don't write that's me. It's very specific. And

(23:23):
money is the same thing. So it's like I didn't
want that, but I really wanted a house, so we
bought a house and use the money for that, and
people would be like smart investment. It was smart investment
because it was what I cared about. The money should
be doing what you wanted to do. So if you're
like I want a fabulous wedding, it's I want that memory.
I want that moment where all of our families are together,
and this is the only way to do it. And

(23:45):
it's like, then do it and love every second. Spend
every dollar that you want to spend, right, and just
understand you're making an investment in your happiness and something
that you really always wanted, right and joyfully do that.
And you can do that and at the same time
have some money put aside. That's like, Okay, we're not
spending this, Like create a budget for yourself. Yeah, create Like, Okay,

(24:06):
I'm comfortable spending this amount of money creating an incredible experience,
and then then you have to be disciplined, right, Like
and my equivalent, I have never planned a wedding, but
I've planned many conferences, which I feel like is similar.
It's like basically an annual wedding. It's ridiculous, but it's
the same thing. Like I'm like, I want the LED
stage and I want this, and I want that, And
then when I look at the budget, I'm like.

Speaker 4 (24:26):
Yeah, we're not getting that LED stage this year. Cut
the fancy stage. It's too much. Like the stage alone
was like one hundred grand. It was madness.

Speaker 5 (24:34):
You know, when I think about, Okay, what else could
these dollars do That's sometimes a good test is like, Okay,
if I took the same amount of money, what else
could I be excited about doing with it? And if
you're like, no, I really want this and I'm not
excited about buying a house, but I am excited about this,
then spend the money and be joyfully spending the money
and let go of the guilt, let go of this
idea that you're doing something wrong. You're doing something right

(24:54):
because you're spending it on what matters to you.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
What if you're equally excited about both of those things
of a wedding and buying a help, Yes, you could
have you.

Speaker 5 (25:02):
Could have like a less expensive wedding, or you could
get a less expensive house. Or you could say, Okay,
I'm gonna have both of these. I'm gonna do the
wedding first and then the house, or gonna do the
house first and then the wedding. You know, so like
you just gotta you gotta negotiate yourself right and decide
what's doable when or what's the version of this that
is doable now?

Speaker 4 (25:20):
And then do I want that? Or do I want
to have one now and one later?

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (25:25):
And by the way, just so you know, when you
have lots and lots of money, this does not change.
I still want to buy two giant, expensive things at
the same time. And my husband's like, no, we could
do one or the other. And I'm like, stop facing
reality with me, like I want to pretend that both
are happening right now, and he's like, no, no, no, you
gotta have one. We can't do We could do all
the things, we can't do them all at the same

(25:45):
time because we just you still have a limited amount
of money. Even though it's a large sum of money,
it's still limited, right, and you're always broke to somebody,
like to a billionaire.

Speaker 4 (25:53):
I'm sure I look like a little ant.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
I was gonna ask about your when we her we
had a guest, Jason Tartik, and he was talking about
the conversations with your partner or spouse about finances. Yes,
and I'm curious, how soon did you have that into
your relationship with your now husband? When did y'all did
you have those conversations before you got married or was
that like a we need to have these.

Speaker 5 (26:19):
Now, we have those conversations from the very beginning, Okay,
and I think we had the benefit of I say benefit,
but like both growing up poor, so we just grow
up poor. You're just when people say money doesn't matter
to me, it just makes you want to smack people
because you're like, you clearly.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
Have never been paid.

Speaker 5 (26:35):
Yeah right, Like if you've ever you know, struggled to
get a meal or had somebody coming to collect rent
that you felt was going to put you out, and
you are crystal clear on how important money is. So
both of us had that experience growing up. And so yeah,
we just talked about it. And he was telling me
about the he was investing in real estate, so he's
telling me about the moves that he's trying to make.
And then I was doing my thing, and so I

(26:57):
was telling him about my We're just sharing our vision
on our dream and that included money.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
So we talked about it. Like we didn't say how
much do you make? How much do you make?

Speaker 5 (27:04):
Blah blah blah on day one, but we probably were
talking about that within three months for sure.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yea.

Speaker 5 (27:12):
And he actually, it's funny. One of my asser.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
Used to say to me was like I really enjoy that.

Speaker 5 (27:18):
I don't have to pretend I want to spend all
my money with you, because he said he'd take people
out on dates and they'd like, you have to go
to the most fancy place, and like they always wanted
him to take them shopping, and it was like all
this like expenditure to date.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
Weird things, I know, And so he would never expect
somebody to go shopping for me on a date.

Speaker 4 (27:37):
I know.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
Well, sometimes it's like you're dating for a couple of
weeks and the next thing you know, it's like somebody's
birthday or somebody something and they're like, buy me something fancy,
Like that's part of the dating process apparently, And I
didn't care about none of that. And he's like, this
is so refreshing. I don't have to pretend that I
just want to like spend every dollar I have on you.

(27:58):
And I'm like, in fact, he actually bought me fans
and gifts and I was like, please don't.

Speaker 4 (28:02):
Yeah, like I felt uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah, where were you in your because your self made
you you started And I was going to ask you
when you were saying you were saying all these talking
about mindset, you were having all these demotivating thoughts, Yes,
what happened or who inspired you to switch your mindset,
because that that's something big had to happen for that
to switch, right.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
Well, it's not a big thing. It's more of a practice.

Speaker 5 (28:26):
We always think it's like oh this I'm gonna have
this genius idea, or like this lightning is going to
strike and then I'll make it rich.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
It's like, now, that's not how this works.

Speaker 5 (28:34):
It's basically just whittling away at a daily it's actually habits.
It's just being consistent.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
You know, like, what what was your habit? You either
have a million dollar habit or a a broke ass Yeah,
brokes habit.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Can you explain the difference of those, because I think
our listeners will yes, take that.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (28:52):
So you know, like at the time, my habits were
talking terribly to myself, treating myself well, so like not
you know, getting enough sleep, not ragging my body, like
not getting therapy, like everything is just I was a workaholic,
so I just worked, work, worked to try to make money.
And what I've learned now, you know, many years into

(29:14):
my career, is that the more I rest, the more money.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
I make, right, And it doesn't mean that I could.

Speaker 5 (29:18):
Be in restmo twenty four to seven, But it does
mean that like if I get eight hours of sleep
and then I wake up and go to you know,
have my quiet time. In the morning, I go work out,
and then I take my kids to school and have
quality time with my family, and then I start my
work day. Now I'm like ready to go and I'm
just fired up. I'm like it's like almost like this
warm up for the day and then I'm ready, yeah

(29:38):
for business. But if I try to go directly into it,
it's like it doesn't work as well. So like that's
an example of a habit, but also delegating. One of
the things I do is every day I look at
my to do list and I'm like, who else could
do this stuff? So I'm like I don't need to
go to that meeting. You go and tell me what
was said right, report back, and or you know, like
oh something I I'll source with my husband. I have

(30:00):
a house manager, I have a team. I'm an assistant,
and it's like I'm out outsourced to my daughter. I
was like, Riley, I need you to ride your brother
to this to take him to this birthday party. Like
you ride your bike and ride your bike with him
and you take him to the birth and that's what.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
She did the other day.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
You know, Yeah, you're delegating from the top to the body.

Speaker 5 (30:19):
And listen, my goal is to have nothing on that
to do list at the end of the day, or
maybe like one to three things that only I can do,
and then I go do those things and I crush
it right, Like this is how I'm able to produce
so many books.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
And so we're all trying to do five hundred things
in a.

Speaker 5 (30:34):
Day, yes, and I'm like, these five hundred things do
not help me get closer to my goals. So let
me hire somebody else, pay them a good salary to
like take a lot of those things off of my plate,
and then literally I will outsource to anyone who's standing
near me.

Speaker 4 (30:51):
Hey, put this real quick.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
That's I mean, that's an investment in yourself when you're
paying someone to help you check the to do list exactly.

Speaker 5 (31:00):
And so delegating, I think is key. I think it's
important to like have those moments family time, like that's
built into my mornings and and my afternoons as well.

Speaker 4 (31:08):
But like that.

Speaker 5 (31:09):
Quality time, then I just feel filled up and I'm
just in a better mood and I'm ready to go
tackle the day. I also look at my money every
day just to assess what's going on, like let me
check my merchant to count for the business, let me
check the operation of the account, just so I know
what's going on. And then or like checking investments regularly,
like those kinds of things. Just look at your money,

(31:30):
know what is happening. Do not put your head in
the sand, right so no assess the situation. So these
are some of the habits. And then just doing a
money generating activity every day. So it's like, let me
pitch myself for this thing today. Let me you know,
like I did three books with audible which were great
and then they loved them.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
They've been very happy with the results.

Speaker 5 (31:50):
So I'm like, okay, I got three more, which you think,
and I, you know, spent I got up early the
other day and wrote those other three ideas for three
more audible books and pitch them on it, like do
you want to do another?

Speaker 4 (32:00):
Let's do another.

Speaker 5 (32:01):
Three, you know, And so like those kinds of things, right,
it's just like a money generated activity, something that can
generate money. It could be pitching yourself for something, it
could be following up with a client who said they
wanted to pay you. It could be sending an email
to you know, a group of people that might want
to hire you. Like, what's just one little activity? Could
be doing some social media content because you know that

(32:23):
that leads to opportunities, right, whatever it is, one of
those is a day, not weekends, but like during the week.
So like these kinds of things, it's just whittling away
at it daily is what actually leads to the snowball effect.
But we're like, no, if I can't have the boom
boom pal right now, I'm not gonna bother. Okay, well
you're not gonna have it because you have to show
up every day and just do the little My mom

(32:45):
used to annoying the crap out of me.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
She'd always be like, just a little every day, just
a little every day. So she would always say it.
I'd be like, shut up, mom, I'm not a little
everyday person. I'm a big vision person, you know. But
it's that was nonsense. She was right.

Speaker 5 (32:58):
It was a little every day right. That to all
of the success that I have, Right, showing up every
day and just doing something. Yeah, and you don't even
you don't have to sit at your desk for eight hours,
if you just show up and do something that is
money generating, not like research forever preparing to prepare all
the things we do to hide scrolling social media.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
I'm researching, so you're not preparing to prepare.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
I do a lot of preparing to prepare on TikTok scrolling.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
I do the same.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
I waste so much of my time and energy into
things that really don't matter.

Speaker 5 (33:34):
Yes, And I'm like, let's get the money generating activity
out of the way so that you could just go
enjoy the rest of your day, Like what would make
me end this day and be like I'm proud of
what I accomplished today. Right, So that's like some of
what I think about, And I'm like, I want to
do those things, not the busy work. That's like answering
twelve emails about stuff that I don't even care about
and doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (33:55):
Here's a novel idea.

Speaker 5 (33:56):
Don't answer the emails, just leave them, let them sit,
or even this is really exciting.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
Delete them, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (34:09):
Like, we don't realize how much we have stuff coming
at us that doesn't matter, you know what I mean.
And then we're like I have no time all the
things that really matter. It's like, okay, well, if you
cut out all the crap that you don't care about,
there's like twelve hours now in your day, in your day.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Having like a breakthrough over here. I'm like, yeah, I'm
going to church.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
Yes, I know.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
There's a lot of different opinions on credit card versus
debit cards. So people that are like I, you should
only be spending the money that you have in your account,
and then there's you have to get a credit card,
you have to build credit. I'm curious about your take
on that or where you stand on the Yes.

Speaker 5 (35:00):
I think that the reason why people say never have
a credit card is because they don't trust themselves and
therefore they don't trust you. So they're like, don't have
a credit card because something horrible is going to happen.
And it's like, or I could be a grown up
and use the credit card in a grown up way,
you know what I mean? And all, if credit cards
are kryptonite for you, if like shopaholism is a real

(35:22):
thing for you or whatever, then use proper judgment, right,
Like maybe credit cards is just it's not for you, right,
or maybe it's the kind of thing you leave it
at home and you only use it on certain circumstances
or something like that. But I think for most of us,
we can just be disciplined and have a plan and
stick with our plan.

Speaker 4 (35:39):
And when you cannot help.

Speaker 5 (35:41):
But use the credit card, you have to ask yourself,
like why what do I want? What do I think
swiping this card is going to do for me? Because
what we're looking for is joy or pleasure, and I
think that's one of the things, especially for women, we
are starved of pleasure. We just work, work, work, work, work, NonStop,
take care of other people you know, or its parents
or siblings or whatever, or kids or partners, and then.

Speaker 4 (36:05):
We go to sleep, you know what I mean, and
the day is over right.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
So it's like there's not enough pleasure in our day
if we had more joy, right, So it's like instead
of And this is something that my friends who's in
Hyatt talks about. She has a book called Bear, which
I highly recommend Bear, and it taught me about like
how we overeat, or we overshop or we overscroll. We're
doing all of these things because we it's just like
a low grade pleasure that we can just say okay,

(36:30):
like this is all that's available to me, so let
me watch Netflix for eight hours because there's no other
pleasure available, right, Or we can say, what are some
like high grade ways that I want to engage with
public mag is, like going for a hike or you know,
planning a brunch with friends or just do it, doing something,
taking an art class like doing ceramics, or what would
actually bring me joy versus this thing where I get

(36:52):
this tiny hit when I swipe my card. So I
think we have to actually attack the thoughts that are
behind the action. It's like, if you have a habit
that is something you want to stop doing, ask yourself
like why am I doing?

Speaker 4 (37:04):
What am I looking for out of this? Why am
I drinking so much? Why am I doing this? Why
am I doing that?

Speaker 5 (37:09):
It's because we're like missing something that we want, right,
And it's usually we're denying ourselves fun, We're denying ourselves
our dreams. Like if we actually chase joy and chase pleasure,
the rest of it actually starts to fall into place
because we stop doing all these things that we need
and we were just gnoming out from life because life
ain't working for us.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
Yeah, on some level.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
It's so funny because I feel like my relationship with
credit cards is so opposite because my mom opened she
got me a credit card, and I was like young
to help me build my credit, so she forced me
to like she's like, okay, put that on your credit
card and then we pay it off and you're gonna
start building your credit score.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
So for me, it was like a more like a
tool than anything else.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
But are you one of those people that, cause I
know that there's those people who are like, oh I
got it with points.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
I got to us.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
Your possessed with points.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Okay, it's like free money.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
I'm a point woman.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Okay, that's for sure. Okay, so you do all that,
like you use all the credit cards.

Speaker 5 (38:02):
All the do like whatever complicated thing people do. Because
I'm very precious with my time, so I'm like, I'm
not spending all this time figuring this out. But I
have one card right that and what we do is
we put which one is the best. I use AMEX
a Platinum, and that's.

Speaker 3 (38:15):
The best one that you feel like with points to work,
and I.

Speaker 5 (38:18):
Think so that I have found for business needs. So
we use it for the business. And I put literally
every expense other than payroll. We tried to put payroll
in there.

Speaker 4 (38:27):
We can't. We were like, if we could, we would,
so like we put.

Speaker 5 (38:30):
Every single expense on there and then we pay it
off at the end of the month. But so it's
like if you you know, if you have a business
with a lot of expenses every month, that's a good
amount of money that all is coming back in points.
So because of that, I don't pay for travel, like
I haven't paid for flight and forever, I don't pay
for hotels because it's all coming through points because we
get literally millions of points a year because we're running

(38:53):
all of the expenses other than payroll for an eight
figure business through this card and we just pay it
at the end of every month. So it's like the
money just accumulates.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Like the stuff though that I feel like is so
it's so smart and you don't even think about it,
you know, Like I have these expenses that I pay
that are work expenses, and I just pay them on
my debit card because that's like I know, all my
money's in there, so it just pulls out of that.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Why am I not.

Speaker 4 (39:16):
Putting that Rachel's level. I got my MX platinum.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
Yes, yes, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
It's okay though, I just got mine, and I I
my mind is blown to the world of how points
and travel.

Speaker 4 (39:29):
I'm like, and it's not just travel, you can use
it for others.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
So I have what is my what is my credit card?
I'm blinking on it. Oh my gosh, uh, oh my gosh. Chase,
That's what it is. There's a Chase credit card. And
to me, that point system is so hard to understand.

Speaker 5 (39:46):
Yeah, like it's actually, I mean, you just got to
figure out what actually matters to you.

Speaker 4 (39:49):
So like, for me, my joy is travel.

Speaker 5 (39:52):
I love to travel, and I love like I want
to stay at the nicest place and I only want
to fly first classes and so like points is where
at for Delta. So it's like basically, I just transfer
all my points to my Delta sky Miles account and
then or I'll book right through amex Travel and use
my points to pay for the hotel.

Speaker 4 (40:10):
So like that's that's it.

Speaker 5 (40:11):
I'm really not figuring out all the ways that I
could get more points. But you get like five x
on Facebook as for example, you get five.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
X on certain things.

Speaker 5 (40:20):
So it's like I think sometimes if you just dip
your toe in then you start to figure it out.

Speaker 4 (40:24):
But but you're.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
Opening my mind to that.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm going to get a
credit card to do all my work expenses exactly instead
of through Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (40:32):
Yes, And to your point, like, I don't like when
people are dogmatic like you must only use debit cards,
you must only use It's.

Speaker 4 (40:39):
Like figure out what works for you, yes.

Speaker 5 (40:41):
And like let go of these rules you know that
are like so intensive, And it's like, what story are
you telling as to why these rules are you know,
people who you know, people who I know, someone who
filed for bankruptcy wants and he's like, I never want
to go through that again, and so I'm just never
going to have a credit card again.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
And I'm like, that's cool for you.

Speaker 5 (40:59):
I can trust myself with the credit card, so I
don't need to I don't need to do all that,
like calm down.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
You know.

Speaker 5 (41:05):
So I think sometimes it's just this weird thing where
like and if somebody truly maybe has like an addiction
to shopping or something like that, then okay, cool, Like
you got to do what you gotta do to shift
your environment to make it work for you, But I
think for most people that's not the case. Is just
be responsible and understand when you're swiping your card, you're
spending money. And I think it's this feeling that you're

(41:26):
not spending money that becomes the problem.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Right, Like I'm just gonna keep swiping.

Speaker 5 (41:30):
And there's still money in my bank account, right, but
it's like, but the money.

Speaker 4 (41:34):
About to leave is not to pay that bill.

Speaker 5 (41:36):
So and that's why I like AMX too, because we
pay it off every month. So it's just that feeling
of like, whatever I'm spending, I'm spending it right now.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
This is not later money.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
This is like handle and you're like making money on
top of it. Exactly.

Speaker 5 (41:49):
It travels literally thousands what.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
We're doing it. We'll see.

Speaker 5 (41:56):
This is the part of the question to do this
with my friend the other day because she had some
like B and B travel hack and I was like,
look at this and she's like, oh, I've been doing that.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
I'm like, what were you going to tell me?

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (42:05):
What's that we need? The US?

Speaker 5 (42:08):
Well, now, the hack is you take an image from
the airbnb and you drop the image in Google image
search and it'll pull up the listing. So if it's
if it has its own listing, like if the property
has its own website that you would never find on Google,
it'll pull it up. And often it's cheaper because you're
not paying the airbnb.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Oh my gosh, that's so smart genius, because I have
booked through instead of doing airbnbs through the website with
certain house homes and it has significantly cheaper.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
Yes, exactly, that's a really good hack. I forgot. I
thought it was pretty good too. I didn't know about
dropping the image.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
I'm like, slow it down again, you pull the image,
so there's.

Speaker 5 (42:47):
Probably but you should like write, look an image or
even take a picture of it and then drop it
in Google image and it'll pull it up like you
can search by image, so that I.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
Actually just discovered Google image, by the way, I know
I was late to that too, to be honest, thank you.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
But yes, so that's another hack. But also with every hack,
always like measure the time. Is it right that you
save this money?

Speaker 5 (43:11):
How much time am I spending on this versus I
could be spending that time making more right, you know,
And that's what it is. It's like brokeass decisions is
like when everything is about saving.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
Every dollar, right, I gotta do it myself. I could
do it myself.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
So I say like I can't have the latte like people.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
Oh my god, you want me to throw knives.

Speaker 5 (43:29):
Stop talking about stop spending because they only say that
to women too, stopping la.

Speaker 4 (43:34):
Stop with the coffee every morning. It's like, joy is
what's keeping a.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Day?

Speaker 3 (43:41):
Like the happiest moment.

Speaker 5 (43:44):
Have twelve lattes, okay, and then spend some time like
googling how you could start a side hustle and make
some money and that's going to make you thousands of
dollars worth, save you ten.

Speaker 4 (43:55):
So it's just like some of this money stuff that's
out there, I'm like, this is dumb.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
So where do you put your energy and where do you?
Like you were saying, like, what are you doing that
brings you joy? And if it brings you joy, then
there's purpose to it. Yeah. So if you're going and
stopping and getting your coffee every morning and it makes
you a better employee or makes you better at doing
your daugh just gives you a better day.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
You just enjoy that too.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
See me after that coffee, and it's like a totally
different person.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
Yes, even the act of going there and chatting with
your people.

Speaker 5 (44:26):
I know you and they know you.

Speaker 4 (44:27):
Like that whole experience is a it's a community moment.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
So like I don't want to not do that, right, Like,
so why can't I have that? Of course I can.

Speaker 5 (44:36):
To me whenever there's a money problem, I'm always like,
instead of going to cut, because we always say cut
every expense, cut cut, cut, cut cut, And I'm like, no, no, no,
how about we earn more? Yeah, and just look at
the opportunities to earn more.

Speaker 4 (44:48):
It is not that hard.

Speaker 5 (44:49):
We just have this story that making money is hard.
We actually just spent a little time, we could come
up with a way to make more money. Like if
we spent five minutes brainstorming, we'd have like a long
twenty a list of twenty five things we could try
to make more money.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
I wanted to ask you because a lot of your
content and your education is geared towards women of color
and women who are in the queer community and people
who are not. I think the word that was used
with stereotypically what people see as successful. Yes, And I
wanted you to address that for our listeners because obviously
Tanya and I are both very white, and we.

Speaker 4 (45:38):
Have not not just white, very white, very very white.
I'm very white.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
But I know our listeners listening, like, if there's if
people have felt like they don't have the same opportunities
or they feel discouraged by those things, what are your
tips for people in that because in that world that
feel like I don't, I don't get the same.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
Privilege that we would get. Yes, well, white women are
included in that.

Speaker 5 (46:01):
So we have a lot of white women that are
part of our community as well, because women in a
lot of ways, right, the pay gap, in the wealth
gap affects us as women, and then it affects us
doubly if we're women and people of color, right, or
if we're women people of color and a queer person right,
So like it can get layered on that way, but
we our philosophy is just to serve people who who

(46:24):
you know, Basically, every community I went into that was
about earning more was like ninety eight percent white guys,
straight cis white guys, right, and nobody else, very few women,
very few people of color. And I was like why,
And then it would be things like raise money or
like do a friends in family around I'm like my
friends and family are burger than I am. Like, this
is not this stuff doesn't work for me. So I

(46:45):
was annoyed, and I'm like, why do I go into
these all these spaces where I'm the only So that's
why I started Hello seven is so that we have
a place where we can be together and we can
talk about what's actually happening, like the fact that there
is this systemic way that money is kept out of
our pockets and at the same time we have agency
to do something about it. So, you know, having it

(47:07):
acknowledged that what we're going through, that it's harder that
they're going to put twelve white guys on the stage
and one white woman or one woman, and it's got
to be one of the three of us because we
can't all be on the stage at.

Speaker 4 (47:17):
The same time.

Speaker 5 (47:17):
Right, It's like, we got to address those things, call
it out, speak to it, because otherwise it drives you
crazy and it causes imposter syndrome. It's like you think
that you're not good enough and it's not that, it's
that the system is designed to.

Speaker 4 (47:31):
Make you feel that way exactly.

Speaker 5 (47:34):
And so I want to be able to have conversations
about value and to reflect back to each other the
value that I see, like that we see in each other. Right,
that's so important, and that's not happening in those other spaces.
They don't even need to do that, right because they're
assumed inherently valuable. And one of the ways in which,
like I highlighted this in my first book, we should
all be millionaires? Where is like advertisements for women versus

(47:57):
advertisements for men. For women, it's like contract, right, get smaller.
It's like stop spending money or you know, do more
with less time, right, Like you need to be more.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
You need to do more.

Speaker 5 (48:08):
You're not enough, is the message, and then you know,
cut coupon, stop shopping with men.

Speaker 4 (48:13):
It was always like some image of a lion.

Speaker 5 (48:16):
You know what I mean, And it's like step into
your power, you know, like everything crush it, right, Like
is the energy?

Speaker 4 (48:24):
And I'm like, can I get some crush your energy?
I want to be a lion?

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Right? Yeah? Why not?

Speaker 4 (48:28):
Mean why I gotta be the giraffe running?

Speaker 1 (48:30):
You know why?

Speaker 4 (48:32):
So, But that's that's what the messaging is.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
So it's all so subconscious.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Yeah, you know it's so crazy, Like I'm really having
this like existential crisis because I'm like noticing, like it's
like everything I've.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Just been conditioned.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
We've just been conditioned by society, and like money is
such it's like it's been such something that's been so
ingrained and we don't even realize it's happening. Yes, and
like in my thirties, right, excuse me, and I just
realize that. You know, I was listening to this Ted
talk of this woman who invented this different kind of
menstrual cup, and she was saying how it was so

(49:08):
hard for her to get funding because all the it's
all men understand funding and they don't understand I don't
get it, feminine care or care to or want to.
And so there's this total section of like society that's
just not getting funded because men are writing all the checks.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Yes, And so like I stepped in.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
I was like, I have no idea what I'm doing,
but I started an investment fund to like start sent
giving money to these startups that women were creating.

Speaker 3 (49:34):
Because nobody else was doing it. And I have no
idea what I'm doing, mind you truly, but I'm doing it.

Speaker 5 (49:40):
Here's a secret literally none of us know, Like literally
no one knows what they're doing. Some of those are
just like, look like we know, but we really don't know.
We're all figuring it out as we go, and that's
why we have to And to to your point, Becka,
what my advice is, like.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
Get in community, right Like, get in community.

Speaker 5 (49:57):
Have conversations, talk about the challenge. Talk about the fact
that you've pitched to twelve people and that you can't
get an investor. Talk about the fact that they don't
understand what your product is and what you're trying to do,
or that your boss refuses to give you a raise
even though you know you're making like huge sums of
money for the company. Whatever it is, like be in community,
a talk about it, and then you have somebody to

(50:18):
reflect back to you what they're seeing, that you're not crazy,
that yes, this is happening, and what are you going
to do about it? And then creating a plan right
like and people, I mean, the women in my community
are constantly sharing.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Resources with you.

Speaker 5 (50:30):
I've tried this, it totally worked. Y'all should try it,
you know. Or I hired this person then they were great.
You should hire them, right like they hire each other.
They support We can create our own little ecosystem that
supports each other and makes it so that we can
I believe in win win right now, one of us
doesn't need to lose so the other can win. We
can have a win win scenario. And I think if
we're in community, we can come up with all of

(50:51):
these ways just by being together that it just comes
up in conversation, you know. So I think that that
is an important step as well, like work on the
the mindset and the habits, but also community is key.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
So I know you said the first step to building
wealth is the mindset. And I want to for anybody
because I know that the book, your book is available
for pre order right now. It doesn't come out to
June eleventh, Yes, but if you pre order a million
dollar action your step by step guide to making wealth happen,
what is.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
It like actual?

Speaker 1 (51:19):
Like?

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Is it like a it's a work book, so you're
actually like writing in it and doing things? Yes, from
from top to bottom. What are you gonna get out
of it? If you do the workbook?

Speaker 5 (51:26):
If you do, you're gonna make more money that one bank,
full time, blank period. You're gonna assess your situation, You're
gonna come up with potential pathways to create extra money.
You're gonna deal with the mindset, the stories. You're gonna assess,
the stories that you're telling yourself, write about debt, about
any of those things.

Speaker 4 (51:45):
You're gonna learn how to delegate.

Speaker 5 (51:46):
You're gonna assess your million dollar habits or lack thereof,
right and like get better at them. There's just all
these different exercises that you're gonna do that are like
holistic about your financial life. So everything is affecting your money.
So if we just talk about money or just have
a bunch of calculators, right, like, that's not going.

Speaker 4 (52:03):
To solve your problem.

Speaker 5 (52:04):
It's all those other little things related to your that
are affecting your money. And so it's taking you step
by step through the process to look at your boundaries,
look at the stories you're telling yourself, look at the
track record of decisions that you're making, and you start
to see like, oh, like all the AHAs you're having
right now, that's how it's going to feel going through.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
So I need to do this work book.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
Yes, yeah, I feel like I mean, what I'm getting
on is that everybody should do it. Because from the
beginning of this podcast, we said people people lie and
say they don't care about money. Yes, but every single
person who's having to pay rent and live in this
society cares to an extent about money exactly.

Speaker 4 (52:41):
So if we can all find a way.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
To make more and be more comfortable and have conversations
about it, what bad can happen?

Speaker 4 (52:49):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 5 (52:51):
It's really about giving your money more attention, thinking about
how you price your services as an entrepreneur, even as
an employee, thinking about what opportunity you have to earn more,
and why are you not taking advantage of those creating
financial systems so it's easier to have good financial habits.
It's all of that, and it is not like the
typical where it's like, Okay, invest in your for one

(53:12):
K and then budget and blah blah. It's like, there's
nothing about budgeting in this book because I'm looking at
building wealth. So it's not just this is not about
managing your money. There are great books about managing your
money out there.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
It's so different.

Speaker 5 (53:25):
Yes, no, I'm not talking about Most personal finance books
about man are about managing the money you already have.
I'm talking about earning more of it. So that's what
this book is about. If you want to earn more,
then that's that's the purpose of all the exercises in there.
It's to build on what you already have and to
earn more and to start to build wealth.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
I think this is great too for also like for
stay at home moms. I think that, like I know
some people who have chose that path to decide to
give up their career stay at home be a stay
at home mom. Yes, and there's this dynamic in the
relationship that shifts where they feel like they have to
ask for permission to buy an expensive bag or to
do this, and they're hiding things and I'm like that,

(54:05):
I feel like once you get there, it's like a
not a healthy dynamic. Yes, And I think that there
are ways that you can be a stay at home
mom and still be able to create or generate some
sort of money on your own, so that, yeah, that
dynamic doesn't happen.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
Well even if you don't.

Speaker 5 (54:20):
Right, Like, there's the power dynamic is coming from because
you think your your labor is contributing to the wealth
in the home r and the money in the home.
So the only reason your partner is able to go
out there and work is because you are staying home
with those kids, right, So, like that is valuable and
you have to stand up for your value and make
sure that everybody in your household is educated on your

(54:41):
value so that there's no question of of course I'm
buying myself a purse.

Speaker 4 (54:44):
Why wouldn't I.

Speaker 5 (54:45):
Right, I've earned it, right, Like so I even putting
a dollar amount on it. Right, It's that's like that's
covered in there, and that it's a whole section on boundaries.
I don't think it's like, if you want to earn
side money, great, get some side money, you know, but
also check your partner, because what the hell?

Speaker 4 (55:04):
Yeah, shut it down.

Speaker 5 (55:05):
Yeah, my husband stayed at home for years and I
never was like, don't buy anything, you know, and if I,
if I ever.

Speaker 4 (55:13):
Had that kind of energy, he would have been like,
hell no, this is I think about it.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
You would have to pay a full time a few
of kids, a full time nanny, a full time this,
a full time you don't send your kids an uber but.

Speaker 4 (55:25):
All around everywhere, it's like a lot.

Speaker 5 (55:28):
Of time and energy exactly the expense of that labor.
And it wouldn't be as good, right because it's rand
parent who's doing it. So it's you know, if you
put a dollar amount on it, it's very clear. Yes,
And so I would be very clear, like the paycheck
that you earned, it has your name on it, but
it's ours. Yeah, So otherwise and if you don't believe that,
then I'm going to go get a job and I'm

(55:51):
not doing this with you watch me. Yeah, And that
like that needs to be a conversation because acting like
that and changing the power dynamic is not okay. And
sometimes women who are the breadwinners still deal with some
of that. You know, that can happen in a lot
of scenarios. Definitely, there are studies that women who are
the breadwinners in their households still do the majority of

(56:11):
the domestic labor. And I'm just like, I want to
throw something every time I hear I'm like, not my house,
hell no, you know, And I just think equality, it's
important to have those conversations. My husband and I went
to pre maarital counseling and we looked at everything money
in laws, like chores, right like, we just looked at

(56:32):
all different aspects of your daily life that our therapists
made us go through, and we each filled out our
own form by ourselves and then we brought it together
in the session, and sometimes we had wildly different opinions
on things and so we had to like sort it out.
In most cases, though we agreed on the same things.
And there was one the thing that stood out to

(56:52):
me that I was like, Okay, I'm definitely marrying him.
It was all about equality, Like everything was equal, and
so I was like, okay, do.

Speaker 3 (57:01):
You remember what that? Do you remember what those brackets were?

Speaker 5 (57:04):
There were so many different ones, but like it's like,
you know, how often do you expect in laws to
come over?

Speaker 1 (57:10):
Right?

Speaker 4 (57:11):
Like do you are you okay with lending money to
in laws?

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Right? Like?

Speaker 4 (57:15):
Can in laws be involved in decision making?

Speaker 2 (57:17):
Right?

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Like?

Speaker 4 (57:18):
It's stuff like that. Like so it'd be a worksheet
that's just about family, like in law.

Speaker 3 (57:22):
Like how often do you want to have a home
cooked meal?

Speaker 4 (57:25):
Exactly? Who's going to do the cooking, who's doing the dishes?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Right?

Speaker 4 (57:29):
Who cleaned that?

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Like?

Speaker 4 (57:30):
How often do you clean the bathroom?

Speaker 5 (57:32):
It's like some of it was kind of granular, and
it was just like a one page or maybe both
sides of a page. I wish I could find the workbook.
I know that I would love to do that, I know,
and that therapist has since retired.

Speaker 4 (57:43):
Oh my god. But like that, it was one of
the best things.

Speaker 5 (57:47):
It was one of the best investments we ever made,
because I mean I feel like we almost twenty years in,
we still draw on the lessons that we learned in
that therapy session. Yeah, so it was it was sessions,
I should say. It was like a series. So every
week we tackle a new area and I feel like
the in laws was the one that was like our
biggest hopen issue at the time. But money we were

(58:09):
on the same page, like it was just it was
just equality. Yeah, you know, that's what we both believed in,
so that was really reassuring. But yeah, there were some
areas where we were like I'm gonna fight you, you know,
and then we needed the therapist to help them, like can.

Speaker 4 (58:23):
You step in here, this is where you come into Well,
I can't say thank.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
You enough for coming in and taking your time while
you were in town to scrub in and be a
part of the podcast.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
Again, I feel like it was nice.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
Yeah, yeah, thank you, And I'm definitely gonna get my
hands on this book, like I have to do it. Yeah,
I feel like I had a breakthrough today because I
honestly feel like I had that mindset.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
You know.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
It's like and again everybody has their own like tier
and layer and whatever, but yeah, like I feel like
I've always had that mindset of like I'm not good
with money. I don't really, I mean I know how
to budget because I I'm budgeting in a way like
you know, like I always had that mindset, and it's
like so wrong.

Speaker 5 (59:04):
It's all about attacking the thoughts, like you have an
investment fund that you started. So it's like it's very
comfortable for us as women to say, oh, I don't
know what I'm doing.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
But that's actually a lie. It's actually not true. We
do know what we're doing. We know how to come
up with an idea, do some research and figure it out.
That's what you did.

Speaker 3 (59:19):
Yeah, right, so you do know what you're doing. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:21):
So it's just like changing the tape in the in
your head, right that you always say, like my best
friend he's so annoying.

Speaker 5 (59:28):
He's always like I'm always like, well if that happens,
He's like not if when, and he won't he literally
will never get me get let me get away with
saying if, and it makes me.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
Mad because I was like, just shut up. He's like, no,
when you have.

Speaker 5 (59:42):
Those people in your life exactly, because words are power,
and words are creating the belief in our head.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
Right what we're repeating, we believe.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
So there is so much opportunity out there, you know.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
It's like also, if for investing, you don't have to
be investing thousands of dollars like you can invest little
bits of money different places.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
So it's just about learning all that.

Speaker 5 (01:00:02):
I have a little account that was like my first
time dipping my toe into investing, and I just put
a little bit of money in there and I forgot
about it and I checked it the other day and it's.

Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
A huge amount of money in there.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:00:12):
I was like, oh my god, that little bit of
money I put it in there years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Oh was it?

Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
It's just an index fund, you know, Like I invested
in one index fund. I took an investing class. She
told me to invest in an index fund. I put
a thousand dollars in and I was like, let me
put a thousand dollars in and see what happens. Then
it grew, so I was like, oh, okay, so this
works like thirty or sixty days later. So then I
was like, all right, I'm gonna invest every month. So
I invested every month for a while. Then my business
totally blew up and we found up making way more money.

(01:00:40):
So then we got a financial planner put large sums
in a different account. So it's like I forgot about
this little account that I started with. And by the way,
I don't work with a financial planner anymore. That helped
me get set up, but then I'm like, oh, I'm
just wasting my money on you. I can do this myself,
so I don't use them anymore. But anyway, that little account,
with that money that I put in for a year

(01:01:00):
or two, it is like it has grown. It is
double the size, more than double the size of what
I originally put in, and it's we're talking like three
or four years. Like it's not that long, right, So
I was like, WHOA, this investing thing is serious business.

Speaker 4 (01:01:15):
Yeah, it's it is. But it's asking questions and meeting
people that can help you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Because I can be like Tanya where I'm like, I
know I need to be investing my money, but I
don't know where to do it, or I feel scared.
What happens if it, you know, if it's the wrong investment,
and it's just asking questions and finding people that you
trust to help. Because just like someone might have no
idea about social media or podcasting, they could come to

(01:01:41):
me and ask for help and it might be like,
that's so easy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
Why do you need help with that? Same with investments.
I might be like I have no idea what I'm doing,
and they're like, let me help you. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 (01:01:48):
It's just literally open a brokerage account Charles Schwab or
Fidelity or wherever and literally buy an index fund, Like
just put money into an index fund and that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
Oh, and that's it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:59):
Just put a little bit on my in there and
just watch it, and when you see it grow, you're
gonna be like, oh, I get it now. And you
can look at the I think it's called a prospectus
or whatever, where you can look at the performance of
that fun for the last twenty years and you see like, oh,
it's just consistently grown.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
Okay, well I'm gonna put a little bit more money in.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
That's it.

Speaker 5 (01:02:16):
You just gotta dip your toe and try and I
think we try to like educate ourselves perfectly. And then
we'll try just put a little bit of money in there,
something that is like not terrifying for you, even if
it's a hundred bucks. Just do something just to get started.
And once you start, then you're gonna be like, oh,
I get it now. Sometimes we're trying to learn from
research what we can only learn from experience. Yeah, so

(01:02:38):
we have to just get up in there, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:02:40):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Get your hands on the book. It's available for pre order.
It comes out June eleventh. Yes, I'm a million dollar
action your step by step guide to making wealth happen.

Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
Thank you so much, Rachel Rogers. Yes, we love you

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
So fun