March 28, 2024 • 40 mins
How often do you talk about finances in a relationship?? Jason Tartick is here to share some tips on how to have those conversations and reach your money goals!
We get an update on Jason’s dating life and you won’t BELIEVE what he reveals!
Jason discusses the logistics of how to be a successful dog co-parent, and we learn why intimacy is important between the sheets… and in the spreadsheets!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya n An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everyone, we are scrubbing in. We are songs Becca today.
But it is no problem because we have a very
special guest that I'm so excited to talk to. His
name is Jason Tarctic, and actually he's in today because
(00:22):
of you the Scrubbers. So I'd brought up an article
that I'd found of his the other day on the podcast,
and it's about talking about money and finances with your
partner inside your relationship. And Jason Tartick has a podcast
called Trading Secrets. He also is just a financial expert.
He's an entrepreneur and he created OR. He has a
(00:42):
new book coming out called Talk Money to Me, The
Eight Essential Financial Questions to Discuss with your Partner. It's
coming out April second. And so we have Jason Tartik
here today to talk about love, finances and all the things.
So please welcome Jason Tartick. Wow, Jason Tarctic scrubbing into
(01:04):
the Or.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
This is an honor you guys.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'll tell you what your fans are deep and committed,
because I think there was one time you guys had
mentioned something about a finance podcast, and my dms were
flooded with your fans. Like they're talking about money, they're
talking about finance. You got a DMM, you.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Got a DS.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, So no, it wasn't. I thank you. First of all,
our scrubbers are very loyal. They're amazing and they are
they're really like the cream of the crop when it
comes to like humanity. But that aside, I wasn't just
talking about finance. I was talking about you in particular.
Oh nice, because I saw this article I think it
was uh I'm not sure exactly where it was printed,
(01:39):
but it was all about you and talking about finances
with your significant other. Okay, yes, And I am such
a big advocate for that, and like I talk about
it all the time because I think it's something that
women don't necessarily talk about. People aren't comfortable talking about it,
and I think it's so it's a fundamental thing in
a relationship to discuss and be on the same page with. Yeah,
(02:00):
and so I talked about all the times. So I
was bringing up this article that you had heard that
you were in and kind of going through all these things.
So I definitely want to I'm glad that you DMD
us because I wanted to have you in and like
really get into your new book and really kind of
get into the nitty gritty of that because I think
there's so much to learn. But before we get into
(02:20):
the book and everything, I want to catch up.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Because I was getting excited. I was like, we'll get
right into it, but let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I want to catch up because it's been a really
long time. I know, in an alternate universe, yes, we
could be married.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I know. I was wondering to bring this up.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I think it's so funny because I feel I obviously
this was we figured I was twenty eighteen, yes, and
we've come a long way. I really just adore you
as a as a person. I've always been like a
big fan of yours, and so I'm just it feels
really nice to like have you on the podcast and
like us do it. Yeah, Easton, there we go.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh that's I got some behind the scene you know
something I've never told I answered behind the scenes dirt
on that interview. What Yeah, okay, so this is good. Yeah,
I forgot about this. So when you know how they
like kind of like set it up, like Ryan was
gonna ask you and I to go on date.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Well I was told by someone like behind the scenes,
like you don't know what's it, you don't know what's next,
so don't like they told me to like deflect and
kick hunter. I swear to god, I swear I've never
told about like, hey, we don't know, like you know,
there's some talks about what's going on, and like it
was someone that was like deflected, kick like, don't don't
accept the date, I swear to god. So I was like,
(03:35):
and they told me that as I walked in, and
I'm like, what, you're probably well, I didn't know how
to like deal.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I was like what did I say? What did I say? Well,
you're going back to seat. I was like okay, it's
like I'm going back to work. Yeah. So Ryan was like,
I'll have you guys go on a date tomorrow. It'll
be great. And I was like, ah, I guess I
gotta go to see from work.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I guess I guess I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
That is very very funny.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It's so funny, but you know what, it's all good
stuff and congratulate thank you so much. I've met your
now fiance. Such a beauty. Yeah, such a great guy.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
He is.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
He's just like salt of the earth, like a really
really good guy.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And meet someone and like you can instantly feel like
just good, like clean energy.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, instinct. Yeah, that's a good guy.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And he's not in the industry, but he can just
be around everybody and it's like very chill and so
I really like that about him because he just can
connect with people in a very normal way.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But I feel that same way about you, Like I
feel like you have that energy that's just like good,
especially like I think coming off of like reality TV,
there is this like stigma, but I feel like you
really are just like you are who you are. You're
very genuine assault of the earth.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
That's really nice you say that, But I'm thinking, like
when you say that, what is it? I think it's
I think my family and friends just keep me so
grounded with everything, right, Like they check me with anything
from personal issues to professional things. What the hell are
you doing here? What do you say in here? And
I actually think that's like a huge life lesson. It's
like making sure the people in your corner are not
(05:00):
an echo chamber. You need to be held accountable by
the people you love in the door, and when they
give you that feedback, you have to be willing to listen.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, and I think that's been that's been huge.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
So okay, so I want to pivot into kind of
I think the article that I found it was you
kind of discussing things. Obviously you were engaged to Caitlin.
That engagement ended and I'm really sorry. Yeah, and no, no
matter what goes on behind the scenes, it sucks for
both people involved. So I'm just wanting I'm really really sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
But one thing I wanted to get into was something
that you mentioned in the book Talk Money to Me,
and it's in the investment that you guys made in
your dogs.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Making an investment in sharing something that you know before
you are married is very interesting because then you break
up and like, what do you do with the dogs?
I'm very curious of your situation how you split the time.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah, okay, So to give some background here forone listening.
So the books Talk Money to Me in the first
two chains are all about things like I screwed up
and I talk about some of my you know, my resume,
just to build credibility in the finance space to say
he listen, like if I'm doing it, you know, maybe
others are doing it too. And so you know, I
was a banker, NBA and accounting and finance, own several
(06:15):
businesses stuff like that, So this is like I'm a
personal finance expert, at least I tell myself I am.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And I still missed a lot of this.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
So that's kind of like the first two chapters, and
in these chapters, I talk about the.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Fact that it's not The thing is finance isn't like sexy.
You know, when you start dating someone, you don't really
bring it up, You don't really think to bring it up,
and then it's like you're so far in, yeah, that
you're just in, and then you kind of don't realize
that you didn't really cover all the bases. So it's like,
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself because it's like
you are this financial guy, but it's it makes sense
that you didn't bring it into your relationship.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
It's it's not sexy. It's quite frankly hard to talk about. Yeah,
most of us don't even know what to talk about
because we weren't taught it in our system. So imagine
you have to talk about something that we know has
a very deep tie to success relationships and even has
a connection to intimacy. So, and I promise I'm going
to answer the doc question. But seventy three percent of
(07:06):
couples say that money is a material point of contention
in the relationship. Of this study, more than half of
them said that the money issues are connecting to decreased intimacy.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
So these money topics.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Are not only impacting like our wallets and how we're
living in our arguments, they're impacting our physical intimacy within
our relationship. So it's such a huge topic. It's what
I'm passionate about, and I could talk all day.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I could too, because I also think that the way
that you handle your finances as an individual is one thing,
but then you're never going to find another individual that
handles finances the exact same ways. We're individuals for reason,
you know. So it's like learning how somebody else deals
with their financial situations and then kind of compromising, coming
to like a middle ground because it's just impossible, you
(07:52):
know what I mean, to find someone that's exactly on
the same page as you.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Impossible, which means it's even that much more important.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
We're talking about that you know it's a huge ass
we know it's weaponized, we know it's leveraged, we know
there's massive financial deception. Forty three percent of all relationships
at least one person is committing what's called financial infidelity.
So that's like cheating and manipulation through money. So we
know that there are all sorts of issues with it.
So the overarching theme of like, we don't have a choice.
(08:20):
You want to get comfortable. We need to get comfortable.
And then I'll even tie it back to your question
with the dog. So you know, it's so hard to
think about these like fur babies you're obsessed with as
an asset, but a lot of things with finance you
don't think about. It is like contracts or assets, but
they are. According to law, a dog is an actual asset, right,
So the idea is when you get a joint asset,
(08:42):
you got to have some type of contract in place,
even if it's like super high level you go to
legal zoom, you just.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Draft it up yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
The idea of like coming up with what happens today,
what do we do with expenses?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And if tomorrow doesn't work out, what does it look like?
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, is so preventive and so important that also to
like post nups and pre nups, and with both the dogs,
we didn't have any type of contracts and you can
imagine though, yes there's handshake agreements, but then when things
get ruffled a little bit, you know, that can change
the tide too. So the importance whether it's with dogs, assets,
et cetera, is huge, and so in this book too. Unfortunately,
(09:20):
we learn from just massive mistakes. Yeah, so I put
a survey out there on my Instagram. I was like,
if you know someone who's experienced financial fraud in a
relationship or a loved one, shoot me the story, send
me an email.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
We got over a thousand emails.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Thought like, I've never put anything on Instagram that's gotten
that much response.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
And the stories I couldn't believe them. But one specific
in this book, she went by Jane Doek. She wanted
to be anonymous, but she gets married to this guy quickly.
She doesn't have the income he does, but he says
his credit is bad, so she takes out the mortgage
and then he puts his name on the deed with
her because he said he'll venmo her. Okay, so the
(09:59):
mortgage in her name and the deed, they both have
ownership of the house.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
The day they close.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Irs sends a letter the Irs owns the entire house
because he has back taxes he owed. They end up
getting divorced. She and her new husband had to pay
off all of his back taxes to get ownership of
their house, and she lost over one hundred thousand dollars.
And this is someone who had earnings of fifty five
thousand dollars. So this is the stuff that's happening day
in and day out, and like, we have to protect ourselves.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
We have to.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I know, it's crazy, so crazy, but I remember before
my fiance and I were engaged, we got our puppy together,
and a lot of people were telling me, like, this
is a mistake. You shouldn't do that before you're married,
you know, like this is what happens if you guys
break up, like who gets the dog? And I was
like me, of course, but like, but I never thought
(10:49):
of it in that way, you know what I mean,
Like because you're when you're in a relationship, you don't
think about it ending, and then but it is like
it's like and I also think too, not even just
like custody of the dog, but also like finances, what
if they need surgery, Who's going to pay for the surgery?
What if they need like you know, all this stuff
that they needed the vet, you know, like where does
that go? Is it just whoever's there with that day
that that's to take care of it? You know, like
(11:10):
there's all this stuff that kind of comes into play.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Oh, so many things that come into play with that.
And the idea of like thinking about breaking up and
the idea of think about like who gets the pet
and how it works. It's like so hard, especially with
the pet like that. But it also I had to
say this, there's this massive business behind it.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
How do I know?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Because when we broke up, I had to think through this.
So I started calling people and I see there are
many attorneys out there all over the country that literally
make their entire careers in living of dog ownership, custody battles.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That is like, this is a massive thing.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
So if you think about that, And I also want
to make sure it's very clear, like by accident, I
have a great situation right now, we're in agreement, we're
in lockstep. We actually had a joint account for the
dogs we both funded that we used for the dogs.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
So like it all worked out.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
But this type of example also leads to pre numps
and post nups.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, are you a fan, huge fanky.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Huge fan.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
And one thing I want to say I'm a huge
fan of is because of what you said, protection of
some of Like we know that in higher household incomes,
according to research today, it's seventy percent of the men
that are taking control of the finances. We also know
that women are out living men. We also know that
the wage gap is closing and I think it's going
to turn. So the importance of your message to be
(12:31):
like we as like new thought leaders and women in
leadership need to own this, take responsibility of this and
have visibility to it is so so important. And this
ties into post nups at pre nups for pre nups.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Here's my take.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Every single state, anybody that's married right now, you have
a pre nup. Okay, People are like, no, I don't know,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You do.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Your state law is a prenup California law. It's different
than Florida, different than New York, different Tennessee. They're all
customized state by state. So the only question is do
you want to look at those laws and then customize
them to your situation because everyone's situation is different. We
already talked about that, so you have the opportunity to
do that now if you're married and you haven't done that.
This is why I think postnups are huge. Think about
(13:13):
a caretaker, Think about their career track. They now stay
at home. They're forgiving potentially huge income earnings, acceleration within
their career and their own money. What happens if there's
a divorce after the marriage and they're not protected even
though they provided so much value to their family, but
they don't have that income source anymore. They don't have
(13:36):
the senior vice president title because they're not the caregiver.
So post ups can help protect individuals that are giving
to their family but maybe not earning. And so I'm
just a huge fan of because it forces us to
have these conversations. And we know historically fifty percent of
relationships unfortunately don't work out, So why not protect ourselves
so dark, I know it's sad, it's harrd to get there.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
You got this.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
At what point do you think it's important when you
start dating somebody to bring up these questions like what's
your credit score, what's your income? Like at what point?
And then how would you kind of bring it up
on a date where it's not so intense.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, it's like first day, you're not going to be
like what's you're not worth?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Right?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Like? That's so I was. I was second secondary actually,
but I was. It was.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
It was definitely one of the early ones where I
was like, talk money to me.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I love it. I'm going to answer the question.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I have a I have a question for you though,
when you had those conversations, what was like the intention
behind it, Like what made you say, like day one,
day two, because this is rare and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What was some of your thought process behind it?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I think for me, I've always been very uh I say,
I'm gonna say careful, but like smart with my money.
I've not I don't spend a ton. I'm not against
anybody that spends a ton. I don't judge, but like,
I'm very intentional about my finances. I also want to
have a security like thing in place. So, and I
dated a ton as you as you know you're trying
(15:22):
to try to send me. I was dating a lot
of men and I felt like they're like men. A
lot of men are kind of like you think men
have finance all figured out, a lot of them do not.
And so I was learning that that, like a lot
of men have no freaking clue what they're doing. And
so I was like, Okay, I'm not I just don't
want to end up like again, I'm not sitting here
(15:42):
saying I know exactly what I'm doing and I'm really
good with all this financial stuff, but I'm I think
I'm a little bit more than the norm. So I
was like, I want somebody that's kind of at my
level in this kind of sense. And also, my fiance
had two kids and I'd gone through a divorce, so
I was just like I need to know kind of
what that situation is, you know. I just wanted to
like know what was going on before I was like
(16:05):
too deep in.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, it's so important.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I think one thing that's big is like, for anyone
out there that's having financial challenges, like your net worth
is not your self worth, right, And the idea is like,
when you have these conversations, never let anyone shame you,
because having the conversation is the hardest thing to do.
Most people in relationships. We talk about red flags all
the time, gas lighting, manipulation, lying, right. The problem with
(16:29):
the finance talk is we all bury our flag so
we can't even see them. Yeah, So if you're even
showing your red flag when it comes to finance, like,
hats off to you, because every person in here in
some capacity can improve their finances at some level. So yeah,
first and foremost, that's that when it comes to the credit,
it's a huge point because you can look at someone
with like a six hundred to seven, like under six
(16:50):
twenty credit score and someone that is a seven to
sixty credit score and for the same house three hundred
thousand dollars mortgage thirty years, the person with a seven
sixty year above is going to pay one hundred and
ten thousand dollars less an interest over thirty years for
the same exact asset. So you think about what that means. Yeah,
and if you have less than a six twenty, it
doesn't mean you shouldn't be dating someone that has a
(17:12):
seven hundred.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Talk about it. She can get on the same page.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Another example in this book that's eye opening, and I
looked at all the financials to make sure it was true.
Before I put in I have a buddy owns a
car dealership. Okay, guy comes in, perfect credit score and
he buys one hundred and fifty thousand dollars g Wagon.
He gets a two percent interest rate. A girl comes
in that same day and buys a Toyota Corolla for
(17:36):
twenty one thousand dollars. Her credit was buried because other
people used her good credit at one point co signed
when she didn't know and their credit went bad, so
her credit was less than six hundred. So you have
one guy one hundred and fifty k g Wagon, his
monthly payments around twenty one hundred dollars twenty one thousand
dollars Toyota Corolla, terrible credit. Because of that, the insurance
(17:58):
monthly went up signific Her monthly payment for the twenty
one thousand dollars Toylet Corolla was more than the G Wagon. Yeah,
and the dealer showed me this right. So the impact
of credit is huge on what we pay over time,
and the visibility to this stuff is important so that
we can help one another improve it. But it goes
back to your question. A lot of people aren't gonna
(18:19):
step into this. So in the book, I have ten
questions that you can go on your first date and
have fun with money discussions because money is usually like itcky,
weird and we want to run from it. So like
a good one would be like you go on a
first date. You know, if you win a million dollars
today and you have to spend every dollar, like where
are you spending it?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
How are you spending it? And why.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
It's a fun one because it's like get a creative
and it also tells me about your patterns, like it's
important to you?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Is it like an exact.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Book, a trip? I'm gonna invest it?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
And then like yeah, or is it a mom and dad?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
So you can learn and have conversation. Another fun one
is like, unless you go broke today, what is one thing?
Like you know, Donnie, you overspend on, but like what
is it? And why do you spend it on that?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Or like in the.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Last year, what's the most outrageous purchase you made?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
In what was it?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
You could start to learn about people's behaviors and have
fun with it. Yeah, and then I think from there
you can get further into the conversation. I have a
fun little stupid cheesy saying that's like if you can
have sex, you can start talking about checks, like at
least to have the conversation going. But I think like
the absolute golden rule is like you cannot go and
(19:26):
cohabitate with someone until you know the eight numbers that
we talk about in this book. If you want to
set yourself up for success.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Yeah, it's so true because like I was reading through
kind of your book and the things that you say
to like find out about early on. And it's funny
because I'm like I talk with my fance about money
a lot, but I didn't even know his credit score
until like recently. It didn't even like cross my mind,
you know what I mean. But then like we talk
about finances a lot, and like as we're trying to
you know, get married and like merge siding, I think
(19:53):
also to deciding if you want to keep your finances
separate or keep something separate and do a joint thing,
or if you just all all both want to just
make a joint thing and kind of go from there.
It's like everybody does things a different way. And like
I talk to a lot of I talk to a
lot of other women who are in households, you know,
where there's other children, involved, you know, like step kids
(20:15):
and how that financial situation works, and it's like everybody
deals with stuff in a different way, and so it's
I think it's important because there's not You can't sit
here and say there's one way that everybody has to
do it. Everybody's circumstances are different. But I think having
the conversation is so, so so important. And I just
I love this book because I feel like it is
(20:36):
it's I don't know, I've never really seen anything like it.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, I think there's so many like self help books
with love, and there's so many with money, but like
marrying the two, there's not much out there. And like
you said, there are so many people in the personal
finance space that have these like cookie cutter solutions. There
is nothing cookie cutter in finance, absolutely not. And I
always like to take like if we talk about all
these different investments and mutual fun and ETFs and I
(21:00):
bore you with that or lose you with that, I
like to bring it down to analogies we know, think
about like you go into a grocery store, and then
your average grocery store is through thirty nine thousand, five
hundred items.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
In a grocery store.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
You, yours cart's gonna be looking different than mine than his,
based on your occasion, what you need, the price points,
et cetera. That's like picking out investments. So if I'm
going to tell you what investments you should be in,
it's so it's like me telling you exactly what should
be in your cart with thirty nine thousand, five hundred
different items.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Like I have to know so much more about you.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Yeah, And I think, like even think about our wine
drinkers back there. I'm sure there's a ton of those
listening to this. Right, you don't have to be the Somalia.
You don't have to know everything about wine. But when
it comes to money, like kind of like when you're
going to buy a bottle, you gotta know a little bit, right,
You gotta know that, like Organ's got good pinos and
Napa's got good cabs. And I think that's the thing
with finances. It's boring. We weren't taught it in our system,
(21:51):
and so we run from it. But I come on
here not to be an alarmist, but to just be like,
we know what we're doing when it comes to love
and money and talking about it.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
We know today.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It's not working. It's not all these statistics show us.
So like, let's step into it a little bit because
it's impacting so much.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Of our lives.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm curious because you said that you and
Caitlin didn't discuss all these things before you got engaged.
Do you think if you guys had gone like forensic
on this that it could have worked out or was
it just other stuff too?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I think I wouldn't point the finger at that, but
what I would tell you is this is that for sure,
because certain conversations weren't had it left an area for gray,
and then that gray was left to interpretation, and then
as a result of that, resentment was built. And two
good people had two different perspectives that couldn't meet in
(22:42):
the middle on certain things. And so this is now
going into more like therapy than actually finance. But financial
circumstances build resentment, and we all know in the therapy
world like resentment leads to massive issues within relationships. It's
like baby paper cuts that don't get taken in care
of become infected. Right, And so I think, like, you know,
there are a lot of moving parts, but that you know,
(23:03):
there were a couple of things there that definitely led through.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, it's interesting because, like my fiance and I talked
about kind of where our priorities lie in terms of money.
He's very very passionate about private school, like that's really
important to him. I went to public school my whole
life really aside from a little couple of years. So
to me, that's not a priority. I spent probably the
equivalent amount of money on appearances, you know, I like
(23:29):
on my hair, on my nails. When you add it
all up, like and you don't realize, Like I never
realized any of that stuff until I started adding it
all up, how much I spend on my hair, nails, clothes, facials,
you know, like all that stuff that I just do therapy,
you know, Like it all just adds up. And so
it's like sometimes I think it's having grace for like
(23:49):
difference in opinion and a relationship and just kind of understanding, Okay,
this is your priority, this is my priority. Where do
we meet in the middle. You have to compromise, And
so I just think it's it's really really important, and
I think everybody. So the book is called Talk Money
to Me, The Eight Essential Financial Questions to discuss with
your partner. It comes out April second, yep April second,
So where can everybody pre order it?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yes, you could pre order it on Amazon, Barnes and
Noble Target. If you go to my Instagram page, it's
on my bio and and everything you said is so
bang on about just the importance of these stuff, these
conversations like they just have to be had. And you
also think about like the life you want to live, right,
like you think about retirement.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
So a scenario I give people is like when you
plan for a vacation, like a week vacation, think about
all the things that go into it. You know your flight,
what do you bring in, how are you packing? Like
all the different parts. When you're planning for retirement, that
is a thirty year vacation, that's over fifteen hundred weeks
you're planning for.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And so many of us continue to put that off
and put that off.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
And it's having right, but it's having conversations like that
that allow us to take a step back and say, Okay,
if I can reduce my spending today, that thirty year
vacation I go on will be an absolute dream. And
I do have in this book, I have a benchmark.
So anyone listening people always say, okay, well where should
I be with retirement? So I'll give you a little
bit of a benchmark here. According to this table in
(25:13):
my book, if you have household income of i' let's
say one hundred and fifty thousand, and you are what
would you say your average age of your listener is.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Thirty three?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Okay, so we'll round up to this table. We'll do
thirty we'll do thirty five. So if you have household
income of one hundred and fifty k and you are
thirty five years old right now, to give you a benchmark.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
By the way, Jason has calculator out right now, he's
really good, real time.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah, three hundred and thirty thousand dollars in your retirement
if you're thirty five with a household income of one
hundred and fifty k. Now, let's take a breather. Not
everyone's there, So there's another chart in here. So if
you're thirty five years old at one hundred and fifty
k household income and you don't have that in they're
saying to catch up, you need to put twenty one
(25:59):
percent of your income into retirement. So The point here
between both of these tables is to know where you
are compared to where you should be, and if you're
not there, what you could do today to get there.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Right, That's that's the thing like I and that's the
thing I struggle with a lot because I'm like, oh, retirement,
Like I want to live my life now. I'll get
that when I get to it. But I'm like, I'm
starting to feel like it's coming a lot sooner. Like
life just happens, and it happens fast.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
You know it happened.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
But like there's so much with finances, Like I feel
like it's not just your income, it's not just your spending.
It's are you investing? Are you keeping money in the
bank and having it just do nothing for you in there?
Do you have student loans?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
You know?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Like there's just so much to it that it feels
so overwhelming. Yeah, is does the book kind of like
give people a good like digestible, How do I if
I'm starting at zero? How do I get started?
Speaker 3 (26:50):
It's literally made for that. So it's one oh one
basic analogies. If you are a financial expert, this book
is not for you. If you get like basic basic,
we gets dumped up with words. I have a it's
called literally the no bullsh Glossary at the end. So
it is like the basic one on one to get
you where you need to be and to like know
everything you got to know to be dangerous with it.
And I think even like when you think about spending,
(27:12):
so there's a little equation out there for retirement. You
take your annual spence, so whatever you spend annually, and
then you multiply that times twenty to twenty five. So
let's just say you spend I'm gonna just make this up.
Doesn't for anyone back home. I'm making it up. You
spend thirty thousand dollars a year on stuff? Okay, I'm
sure it's probably more than that, but you know, let's
just say, let's just say it's one hundred thousand. We'll
do a clean number. You have to have saved twenty
(27:36):
five times that conservatively to retire, so that would be
two point five million for you to retire and live comfortably.
So when we're thinking today and we're not thinking about retirement,
a good way to think about it is if I
spend less. So I just said two point five But
if we could bring that number down to eighty thousand.
You now have to save two million. You just instantly
have to save five hundred thousand less for your retirement
(27:57):
if you just bring it down twenty percent save.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I have two rapid fire questions when it comes to
buying or leasing a car. What would you recommend?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
It depends on the circumstances, because right now it's just changed.
But here's what I would tell you anything with the
car buying process, do not ever go in there and
say I have a monthly amount I can spend. Get
the payment to that amount, because a good salesperson is
going to be able to structure it so they make
the most money. But your monthly payment is what it's
going to be now. The toughest part about your question
(28:44):
is two years ago, when cars were appreciing it the
way they were, the answer was lease, But today the
answer would be use car. But it changes by a used, certified,
pre owned car is the answer today. That can change
in a month from.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Now, because like I was always taught, never lease a car,
buy a car, stop paying rent, buy a home, you know,
like that type of stuff. And I feel like it
kind of went the other way for a while, where
it was like, don't buy a car lease don't. Now
it's like, don't buy a house rent you know. I'm like,
you never know. It's like, I guess you just have
to really be like tuned into what's on the economy.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Well, for leasing, when you lease a car, your buyout
value is determined the day you execute the lease. So
like I actually lease my car for tax purposes because
the dollar that I could write off, but that amount
the day I leased the car. Three years later, when
my lease was up, I could have sold the car
for more than the number that was agreed upon three
years before because of appreciation. So it changes. Here's someone
(29:40):
you have to have on your podcast. Have to your
listeners will love her. She's the car mom. She has kids,
share her dad owned dealerships. She came out of my
podcast training Secret shares every little hack that you should
know if you have kids, when you're consuming when you
go to dealerships, how to beat them. She's incredible. Now,
with renting, there's a ratio. People, it's very This one's
(30:01):
easier to understand. It's called the rent to own ratio.
Because fluctuation of pricing is changing significantly. It is a
ratio that tells you how many years of your current
rent you would be renting until you own the house
based on the price of the house. Okay, so in
big cities you can rent. Yeah, I mean you could
(30:22):
rent for fifty years and you still won't own the property,
like New York City because the values are so high.
In this book, I have a chart that tells you
if your rent to own ratio is a certain multiplier,
you should be renting or you should be owning it.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (30:37):
So if you could own your house with what you're
paying for rent in five to ten years based on
the value of what the home is, you should not
be renting.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You should be buying it, right.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Because if you rented that place for five to ten years,
you would owned the property. So there are ratios out there,
like rent to own ratio that can help people.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
One other thing really quick too, are scrubbers A lot
of them have I'm a blinking on what it's called
debt from student loans debt? Yeah, how do you go
about tackling that in like the best way?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Okay, So anything debt related. First of all, there's good
debt and there's bad debt. We classify this as good
debt are tied to things that are appreciating assets, bad
debt are things that are tied to non appreciating assets.
Example of good debt a house. You have a house
tied to it. History tells us it's appreciating. Bad debt
credit card debt. When you go by you know, you
(31:34):
do the hair, the nails, the makeup. You have no
asset tied to that. So with all these forms of debt,
what I say is there's an avalanche model. Take an
Excel file, put all your debt, and then put all
your interest rate, and whatever your highest interest rate is.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I need you to take any.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Excess cash flow you have after your expenses and pay
the highest interest rate off first. It likely won't be
student that if you have credit card debt. Now, credit
card debts, it's kind of good and bad. If you're
you know, if you're a surgeon, you're going to We
know that your likelihood of getting the return on education's high.
We also know there's a lot of degrees out there
you're not getting a return. So the overarching theme is
(32:13):
you have to know how much cash you have after
your fixed and variable expenses, and then how you're taking
that cash and applying it to the debt, and there's
different debt programs and how to pay it back here.
But what I'll tell people is like, do not wait
for a government ballout because they've been talking about it
forever and it keeps getting pushed.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
It keeps getting pushed so much.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
I literally feel like I can talk to you for
a million years because like there's and I'm like, don't
even get me started on investments because I could ask you,
I could probably spend an entire hour going into that.
I know you have places to be and things to do,
so I really want to quickly before I let you go.
Are you moving forward in your next relationship? Is this
(32:55):
like a priority for you? Like to have these discussions
early on?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Oh at one hundred percent practice what I preach?
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Like that's it's a non starter.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, Like all these conversations will be had.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
And again, network's not self with so it's not like
if they don't meet a certain level, right, It's like,
these are conversations that must be You're only protecting yourself
and setting yourself up for success.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And now you live in Nashville. Do you think you're
going to live in Nashville forever.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I don't know, Like I don't think I'm going to
live in Nashville forever.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
So I'm working on that.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
There's a lot of moving parts with the dogs and
everything else. Yeah, so that's something that's like, you know,
really top of mind right now.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
One thing I'll tell people where they live is I
call it the third degree priority pro personal financial, professional
rate one through ten. What that city does for your
personal happiness, financial gain, and professional success, And based on that,
determine if it makes sense to live there or not,
because the city has to give back to you what
the cost is in one of those three categories.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Also, our scrubbers need to know because there's rumors that
you're dating a TikToker named Cat Stickler.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Those rumors, you hear those rumors.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Right here are scrubbers. You gotta ask them about dating
TikToker Cat Stickler.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah. Here's here's what I'll say to that question, is, like,
I think, after my last relationship, I'm in the space
of like kind of keeping things a little bit more
private right.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Now because it was so public, Because it was.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
So and there's so much there's a lot that comes
with that good and bad and so like the whole
the whole dating aspect, which I'm relatively new to. I'm like,
you know what, for right now today, I'm going to
kind of keep things private.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Until it becomes more serious.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yeah, until things become yeah yeah, but right now, I'm
keeping things a little private, keeping things private.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Okay, Okay, you know that that's me. I'm doing my.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Thing, not keeping things private. This is the place I'll
come back to and then we'll talk all about it.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
I totally get it because when I was dating, like
when I was just like you know, dating and a
rapid pace, I was like, you get you know, like
when you are public about it, then there's expectation put
on it, and so then you kind of weirdly feel
like you're like letting people down, letting yourself down, but
you're just dating. Like that's what dating is. Like, you
go out with someone a couple of times, it doesn't
work out, but I think that there's there's this expectation.
(35:24):
It does kind of make you feel a certain type
of way. So I do understand that. Yeah, sure, but
I've heard this cat Stickler is a good girl.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
She's coming on my podcast actually, and she's a great girl.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
She's amazing, she's very special, she's awesome, she's great.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Did you come on your podcast or she's great.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I interviewed her in Chicago at the episode's coming out
like a few weeks or so.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Is that how you met or No, No, we met prior.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, we met prior. Yeah, we met prior.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
I'm trying to. I'm trying to. We need to getting
the wraps. No, No, you know, I love you, and
so I respect I respect your privacy obviously have to
ask and people want to know. But I think I'm
really I love what you're doing, and I really want
to encourage you everybody listening to get the book. It's
called Talk Money to Me. They eight essential financial questions
to discuss with your partner. It comes out April second,
(36:18):
and you have the link in your bio.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
I'm asson, Yeah, the link in my bio. And the
other thing too, is we're on a book tour right
now with Capital One. They're sponsoring a Capital One cafe.
So did Denver, Austin, Philly, Chicago, del Rey, Boston, and
then I think we're going to add I don't know
if I said DC, but DC and then we're going
to probably add New York in Nashville, so that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So everybody, if you're in those cities, go out meet Jason.
Tell them you're a scrubber. Send your love and thank
you so much for being here.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I love the Scrubbers. I love you guys. Thank you
guys for having me.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Thank you all right, Ethan, what'd you think?
Speaker 4 (36:54):
I love Jason Tarctick. I just love him so much.
I do too, And you know, we don't have these
kind of conversations enough, and so I think it's so
important to me to destigmatize this.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
It makes you feel so comfortable about that.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I do too. And I think that like, obviously he's
a financial expert, so he maybe sometimes can get a
little in the weeds of things that may seem overwhelming
to you because they were overwhelming to me. But I
think at the end of the day, we all deal
with finances, you know, how to save, how to spend
income versus expenses, investing, what's smart what's not. And I
(37:28):
just think being involved in the conversation, having those conversations,
you know, like, are just so important. What you know
you were saying, somebody asked you what is being rich
mean to you? Right? Was it that?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Yeah, there was. I don't have his name in front
of me, but there's a guy who had on another
podcast and he was talking about like what, like what
what is being rich? Like what does that mean to you?
And like for some people it's like, oh, I want
to like a big house and I want a nice car,
and uh, he said to him, it's going to the
grocery store and not looking at what food can just
getting getting whatever I want and like not really caring. Yeah,
(38:03):
and I that really changed, like how I look at
how I spend money and how I save and like
the goals I have because I was thinking about that,
and I'm like, because I you know, I don't really
I don't need like a vault full of gold coins
like Screege McDuck has, but like, yeah, you know, like
being able to take a vacation a couple of times
a year, Like that's to me, that's that's rich.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
And the thing is too, it's all relative, you know,
it's all what matters to you. You could maybe want
to live in a smaller home and take more vacations
in a year, or if you don't really care about vacations,
you just want to live in a big, lavish home,
then that's more important to you, if you you know
what I mean. Like, it's kind of just figuring out
what's important to you, how you want to live your life,
where you want to spend your money, where you want
to save it, And it's different for everybody. So I
(38:44):
feel like that's what makes the conversation so interesting. And
I again, like I was telling Jason, I talked to
a lot of my friends, especially friends who are in
relationships with other people with kids and stuff, because the
conversation is very it's different, and so I just I
want to encourage everybody listening to have those conversations. It's
(39:05):
not weird. Talk to your friends about it, see how
they do it, what they're planning on doing, just so
that you're more aware of kind of different ways to
do things.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Money, whether we like it or not, money is a
part of our lives. Everybody has to think about it
and deal with it. And it's not It doesn't have
to be weird. You can just you know, if you
have anxieties about it, like if you talk to your
loved ones or your friends, yeah you feel better about it.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, I love listening to podcasts about it too, Like
I listened to Lewis Howe's a lot because I think
he has a lot of financial experts on and they
say a lot of things that I never really thought
about before. So I just want to encourage you to
have that conversation and just love Jason Tarctic. And I'm
gonna say, based off his body language, he's not single.
Yeah I would say that too. Yeah, I got a
(39:50):
little for me, but you know, respect, respect the privacy.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Yeah, so we love Jason and his significant other who
may or may not exist.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yes, exactly. We love you and talk to you guys later.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Bye. Mhm.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya n An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everyone, we are scrubbing in. We are songs Becca today.
But it is no problem because we have a very
special guest that I'm so excited to talk to. His
name is Jason Tarctic, and actually he's in today because
(00:22):
of you the Scrubbers. So I'd brought up an article
that I'd found of his the other day on the podcast,
and it's about talking about money and finances with your
partner inside your relationship. And Jason Tartick has a podcast
called Trading Secrets. He also is just a financial expert.
He's an entrepreneur and he created OR. He has a
(00:42):
new book coming out called Talk Money to Me, The
Eight Essential Financial Questions to Discuss with your Partner. It's
coming out April second. And so we have Jason Tartik
here today to talk about love, finances and all the things.
So please welcome Jason Tartick. Wow, Jason Tarctic scrubbing into
(01:04):
the Or.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
This is an honor you guys.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'll tell you what your fans are deep and committed,
because I think there was one time you guys had
mentioned something about a finance podcast, and my dms were
flooded with your fans. Like they're talking about money, they're
talking about finance. You got a DMM, you.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Got a DS.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, So no, it wasn't. I thank you. First of all,
our scrubbers are very loyal. They're amazing and they are
they're really like the cream of the crop when it
comes to like humanity. But that aside, I wasn't just
talking about finance. I was talking about you in particular.
Oh nice, because I saw this article I think it
was uh I'm not sure exactly where it was printed,
(01:39):
but it was all about you and talking about finances
with your significant other. Okay, yes, And I am such
a big advocate for that, and like I talk about
it all the time because I think it's something that
women don't necessarily talk about. People aren't comfortable talking about it,
and I think it's so it's a fundamental thing in
a relationship to discuss and be on the same page with. Yeah,
(02:00):
and so I talked about all the times. So I
was bringing up this article that you had heard that
you were in and kind of going through all these things.
So I definitely want to I'm glad that you DMD
us because I wanted to have you in and like
really get into your new book and really kind of
get into the nitty gritty of that because I think
there's so much to learn. But before we get into
(02:20):
the book and everything, I want to catch up.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Because I was getting excited. I was like, we'll get
right into it, but let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I want to catch up because it's been a really
long time. I know, in an alternate universe, yes, we
could be married.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I know. I was wondering to bring this up.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I think it's so funny because I feel I obviously
this was we figured I was twenty eighteen, yes, and
we've come a long way. I really just adore you
as a as a person. I've always been like a
big fan of yours, and so I'm just it feels
really nice to like have you on the podcast and
like us do it. Yeah, Easton, there we go.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh that's I got some behind the scene you know
something I've never told I answered behind the scenes dirt
on that interview. What Yeah, okay, so this is good. Yeah,
I forgot about this. So when you know how they
like kind of like set it up, like Ryan was
gonna ask you and I to go on date.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Well I was told by someone like behind the scenes,
like you don't know what's it, you don't know what's next,
so don't like they told me to like deflect and
kick hunter. I swear to god, I swear I've never
told about like, hey, we don't know, like you know,
there's some talks about what's going on, and like it
was someone that was like deflected, kick like, don't don't
accept the date, I swear to god. So I was like,
(03:35):
and they told me that as I walked in, and
I'm like, what, you're probably well, I didn't know how
to like deal.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I was like what did I say? What did I say? Well,
you're going back to seat. I was like okay, it's
like I'm going back to work. Yeah. So Ryan was like,
I'll have you guys go on a date tomorrow. It'll
be great. And I was like, ah, I guess I
gotta go to see from work.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I guess I guess I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
That is very very funny.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It's so funny, but you know what, it's all good
stuff and congratulate thank you so much. I've met your
now fiance. Such a beauty. Yeah, such a great guy.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
He is.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
He's just like salt of the earth, like a really
really good guy.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And meet someone and like you can instantly feel like
just good, like clean energy.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, instinct. Yeah, that's a good guy.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And he's not in the industry, but he can just
be around everybody and it's like very chill and so
I really like that about him because he just can
connect with people in a very normal way.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But I feel that same way about you, Like I
feel like you have that energy that's just like good,
especially like I think coming off of like reality TV,
there is this like stigma, but I feel like you
really are just like you are who you are. You're
very genuine assault of the earth.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
That's really nice you say that, But I'm thinking, like
when you say that, what is it? I think it's
I think my family and friends just keep me so
grounded with everything, right, Like they check me with anything
from personal issues to professional things. What the hell are
you doing here? What do you say in here? And
I actually think that's like a huge life lesson. It's
like making sure the people in your corner are not
(05:00):
an echo chamber. You need to be held accountable by
the people you love in the door, and when they
give you that feedback, you have to be willing to listen.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, and I think that's been that's been huge.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
So okay, so I want to pivot into kind of
I think the article that I found it was you
kind of discussing things. Obviously you were engaged to Caitlin.
That engagement ended and I'm really sorry. Yeah, and no, no
matter what goes on behind the scenes, it sucks for
both people involved. So I'm just wanting I'm really really sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
But one thing I wanted to get into was something
that you mentioned in the book Talk Money to Me,
and it's in the investment that you guys made in
your dogs.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Making an investment in sharing something that you know before
you are married is very interesting because then you break
up and like, what do you do with the dogs?
I'm very curious of your situation how you split the time.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah, okay, So to give some background here forone listening.
So the books Talk Money to Me in the first
two chains are all about things like I screwed up
and I talk about some of my you know, my resume,
just to build credibility in the finance space to say
he listen, like if I'm doing it, you know, maybe
others are doing it too. And so you know, I
was a banker, NBA and accounting and finance, own several
(06:15):
businesses stuff like that, So this is like I'm a
personal finance expert, at least I tell myself I am.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And I still missed a lot of this.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
So that's kind of like the first two chapters, and
in these chapters, I talk about the.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Fact that it's not The thing is finance isn't like sexy.
You know, when you start dating someone, you don't really
bring it up, You don't really think to bring it up,
and then it's like you're so far in, yeah, that
you're just in, and then you kind of don't realize
that you didn't really cover all the bases. So it's like,
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself because it's like
you are this financial guy, but it's it makes sense
that you didn't bring it into your relationship.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
It's it's not sexy. It's quite frankly hard to talk about. Yeah,
most of us don't even know what to talk about
because we weren't taught it in our system. So imagine
you have to talk about something that we know has
a very deep tie to success relationships and even has
a connection to intimacy. So, and I promise I'm going
to answer the doc question. But seventy three percent of
(07:06):
couples say that money is a material point of contention
in the relationship. Of this study, more than half of
them said that the money issues are connecting to decreased intimacy.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
So these money topics.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Are not only impacting like our wallets and how we're
living in our arguments, they're impacting our physical intimacy within
our relationship. So it's such a huge topic. It's what
I'm passionate about, and I could talk all day.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I could too, because I also think that the way
that you handle your finances as an individual is one thing,
but then you're never going to find another individual that
handles finances the exact same ways. We're individuals for reason,
you know. So it's like learning how somebody else deals
with their financial situations and then kind of compromising, coming
to like a middle ground because it's just impossible, you
(07:52):
know what I mean, to find someone that's exactly on
the same page as you.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Impossible, which means it's even that much more important.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
We're talking about that you know it's a huge ass
we know it's weaponized, we know it's leveraged, we know
there's massive financial deception. Forty three percent of all relationships
at least one person is committing what's called financial infidelity.
So that's like cheating and manipulation through money. So we
know that there are all sorts of issues with it.
So the overarching theme of like, we don't have a choice.
(08:20):
You want to get comfortable. We need to get comfortable.
And then I'll even tie it back to your question
with the dog. So you know, it's so hard to
think about these like fur babies you're obsessed with as
an asset, but a lot of things with finance you
don't think about. It is like contracts or assets, but
they are. According to law, a dog is an actual asset, right,
So the idea is when you get a joint asset,
(08:42):
you got to have some type of contract in place,
even if it's like super high level you go to
legal zoom, you just.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Draft it up yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
The idea of like coming up with what happens today,
what do we do with expenses?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And if tomorrow doesn't work out, what does it look like?
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, is so preventive and so important that also to
like post nups and pre nups, and with both the dogs,
we didn't have any type of contracts and you can
imagine though, yes there's handshake agreements, but then when things
get ruffled a little bit, you know, that can change
the tide too. So the importance whether it's with dogs, assets,
et cetera, is huge, and so in this book too. Unfortunately,
(09:20):
we learn from just massive mistakes. Yeah, so I put
a survey out there on my Instagram. I was like,
if you know someone who's experienced financial fraud in a
relationship or a loved one, shoot me the story, send
me an email.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
We got over a thousand emails.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Thought like, I've never put anything on Instagram that's gotten
that much response.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
And the stories I couldn't believe them. But one specific
in this book, she went by Jane Doek. She wanted
to be anonymous, but she gets married to this guy quickly.
She doesn't have the income he does, but he says
his credit is bad, so she takes out the mortgage
and then he puts his name on the deed with
her because he said he'll venmo her. Okay, so the
(09:59):
mortgage in her name and the deed, they both have
ownership of the house.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
The day they close.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Irs sends a letter the Irs owns the entire house
because he has back taxes he owed. They end up
getting divorced. She and her new husband had to pay
off all of his back taxes to get ownership of
their house, and she lost over one hundred thousand dollars.
And this is someone who had earnings of fifty five
thousand dollars. So this is the stuff that's happening day
in and day out, and like, we have to protect ourselves.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
We have to.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I know, it's crazy, so crazy, but I remember before
my fiance and I were engaged, we got our puppy together,
and a lot of people were telling me, like, this
is a mistake. You shouldn't do that before you're married,
you know, like this is what happens if you guys
break up, like who gets the dog? And I was
like me, of course, but like, but I never thought
(10:49):
of it in that way, you know what I mean,
Like because you're when you're in a relationship, you don't
think about it ending, and then but it is like
it's like and I also think too, not even just
like custody of the dog, but also like finances, what
if they need surgery, Who's going to pay for the surgery?
What if they need like you know, all this stuff
that they needed the vet, you know, like where does
that go? Is it just whoever's there with that day
that that's to take care of it? You know, like
(11:10):
there's all this stuff that kind of comes into play.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Oh, so many things that come into play with that.
And the idea of like thinking about breaking up and
the idea of think about like who gets the pet
and how it works. It's like so hard, especially with
the pet like that. But it also I had to
say this, there's this massive business behind it.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
How do I know?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Because when we broke up, I had to think through this.
So I started calling people and I see there are
many attorneys out there all over the country that literally
make their entire careers in living of dog ownership, custody battles.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That is like, this is a massive thing.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
So if you think about that, And I also want
to make sure it's very clear, like by accident, I
have a great situation right now, we're in agreement, we're
in lockstep. We actually had a joint account for the
dogs we both funded that we used for the dogs.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
So like it all worked out.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
But this type of example also leads to pre numps
and post nups.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, are you a fan, huge fanky.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Huge fan.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
And one thing I want to say I'm a huge
fan of is because of what you said, protection of
some of Like we know that in higher household incomes,
according to research today, it's seventy percent of the men
that are taking control of the finances. We also know
that women are out living men. We also know that
the wage gap is closing and I think it's going
to turn. So the importance of your message to be
(12:31):
like we as like new thought leaders and women in
leadership need to own this, take responsibility of this and
have visibility to it is so so important. And this
ties into post nups at pre nups for pre nups.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Here's my take.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Every single state, anybody that's married right now, you have
a pre nup. Okay, People are like, no, I don't know,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You do.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Your state law is a prenup California law. It's different
than Florida, different than New York, different Tennessee. They're all
customized state by state. So the only question is do
you want to look at those laws and then customize
them to your situation because everyone's situation is different. We
already talked about that, so you have the opportunity to
do that now if you're married and you haven't done that.
This is why I think postnups are huge. Think about
(13:13):
a caretaker, Think about their career track. They now stay
at home. They're forgiving potentially huge income earnings, acceleration within
their career and their own money. What happens if there's
a divorce after the marriage and they're not protected even
though they provided so much value to their family, but
they don't have that income source anymore. They don't have
(13:36):
the senior vice president title because they're not the caregiver.
So post ups can help protect individuals that are giving
to their family but maybe not earning. And so I'm
just a huge fan of because it forces us to
have these conversations. And we know historically fifty percent of
relationships unfortunately don't work out, So why not protect ourselves
so dark, I know it's sad, it's harrd to get there.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
You got this.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
At what point do you think it's important when you
start dating somebody to bring up these questions like what's
your credit score, what's your income? Like at what point?
And then how would you kind of bring it up
on a date where it's not so intense.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, it's like first day, you're not going to be
like what's you're not worth?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Right?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Like? That's so I was. I was second secondary actually,
but I was. It was.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
It was definitely one of the early ones where I
was like, talk money to me.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I love it. I'm going to answer the question.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I have a I have a question for you though,
when you had those conversations, what was like the intention
behind it, Like what made you say, like day one,
day two, because this is rare and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What was some of your thought process behind it?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I think for me, I've always been very uh I say,
I'm gonna say careful, but like smart with my money.
I've not I don't spend a ton. I'm not against
anybody that spends a ton. I don't judge, but like,
I'm very intentional about my finances. I also want to
have a security like thing in place. So, and I
dated a ton as you as you know you're trying
(15:22):
to try to send me. I was dating a lot
of men and I felt like they're like men. A
lot of men are kind of like you think men
have finance all figured out, a lot of them do not.
And so I was learning that that, like a lot
of men have no freaking clue what they're doing. And
so I was like, Okay, I'm not I just don't
want to end up like again, I'm not sitting here
(15:42):
saying I know exactly what I'm doing and I'm really
good with all this financial stuff, but I'm I think
I'm a little bit more than the norm. So I
was like, I want somebody that's kind of at my
level in this kind of sense. And also, my fiance
had two kids and I'd gone through a divorce, so
I was just like I need to know kind of
what that situation is, you know. I just wanted to
like know what was going on before I was like
(16:05):
too deep in.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, it's so important.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I think one thing that's big is like, for anyone
out there that's having financial challenges, like your net worth
is not your self worth, right, And the idea is like,
when you have these conversations, never let anyone shame you,
because having the conversation is the hardest thing to do.
Most people in relationships. We talk about red flags all
the time, gas lighting, manipulation, lying, right. The problem with
(16:29):
the finance talk is we all bury our flag so
we can't even see them. Yeah, So if you're even
showing your red flag when it comes to finance, like,
hats off to you, because every person in here in
some capacity can improve their finances at some level. So yeah,
first and foremost, that's that when it comes to the credit,
it's a huge point because you can look at someone
with like a six hundred to seven, like under six
(16:50):
twenty credit score and someone that is a seven to
sixty credit score and for the same house three hundred
thousand dollars mortgage thirty years, the person with a seven
sixty year above is going to pay one hundred and
ten thousand dollars less an interest over thirty years for
the same exact asset. So you think about what that means. Yeah,
and if you have less than a six twenty, it
doesn't mean you shouldn't be dating someone that has a
(17:12):
seven hundred.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Talk about it. She can get on the same page.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Another example in this book that's eye opening, and I
looked at all the financials to make sure it was true.
Before I put in I have a buddy owns a
car dealership. Okay, guy comes in, perfect credit score and
he buys one hundred and fifty thousand dollars g Wagon.
He gets a two percent interest rate. A girl comes
in that same day and buys a Toyota Corolla for
(17:36):
twenty one thousand dollars. Her credit was buried because other
people used her good credit at one point co signed
when she didn't know and their credit went bad, so
her credit was less than six hundred. So you have
one guy one hundred and fifty k g Wagon, his
monthly payments around twenty one hundred dollars twenty one thousand
dollars Toyota Corolla, terrible credit. Because of that, the insurance
(17:58):
monthly went up signific Her monthly payment for the twenty
one thousand dollars Toylet Corolla was more than the G Wagon. Yeah,
and the dealer showed me this right. So the impact
of credit is huge on what we pay over time,
and the visibility to this stuff is important so that
we can help one another improve it. But it goes
back to your question. A lot of people aren't gonna
(18:19):
step into this. So in the book, I have ten
questions that you can go on your first date and
have fun with money discussions because money is usually like itcky,
weird and we want to run from it. So like
a good one would be like you go on a
first date. You know, if you win a million dollars
today and you have to spend every dollar, like where
are you spending it?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
How are you spending it? And why.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
It's a fun one because it's like get a creative
and it also tells me about your patterns, like it's
important to you?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Is it like an exact.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Book, a trip? I'm gonna invest it?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
And then like yeah, or is it a mom and dad?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
So you can learn and have conversation. Another fun one
is like, unless you go broke today, what is one thing?
Like you know, Donnie, you overspend on, but like what
is it? And why do you spend it on that?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Or like in the.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Last year, what's the most outrageous purchase you made?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
In what was it?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
You could start to learn about people's behaviors and have
fun with it. Yeah, and then I think from there
you can get further into the conversation. I have a
fun little stupid cheesy saying that's like if you can
have sex, you can start talking about checks, like at
least to have the conversation going. But I think like
the absolute golden rule is like you cannot go and
(19:26):
cohabitate with someone until you know the eight numbers that
we talk about in this book. If you want to
set yourself up for success.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Yeah, it's so true because like I was reading through
kind of your book and the things that you say
to like find out about early on. And it's funny
because I'm like I talk with my fance about money
a lot, but I didn't even know his credit score
until like recently. It didn't even like cross my mind,
you know what I mean. But then like we talk
about finances a lot, and like as we're trying to
you know, get married and like merge siding, I think
(19:53):
also to deciding if you want to keep your finances
separate or keep something separate and do a joint thing,
or if you just all all both want to just
make a joint thing and kind of go from there.
It's like everybody does things a different way. And like
I talk to a lot of I talk to a
lot of other women who are in households, you know,
where there's other children, involved, you know, like step kids
(20:15):
and how that financial situation works, and it's like everybody
deals with stuff in a different way, and so it's
I think it's important because there's not You can't sit
here and say there's one way that everybody has to
do it. Everybody's circumstances are different. But I think having
the conversation is so, so so important. And I just
I love this book because I feel like it is
(20:36):
it's I don't know, I've never really seen anything like it.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, I think there's so many like self help books
with love, and there's so many with money, but like
marrying the two, there's not much out there. And like
you said, there are so many people in the personal
finance space that have these like cookie cutter solutions. There
is nothing cookie cutter in finance, absolutely not. And I
always like to take like if we talk about all
these different investments and mutual fun and ETFs and I
(21:00):
bore you with that or lose you with that, I
like to bring it down to analogies we know, think
about like you go into a grocery store, and then
your average grocery store is through thirty nine thousand, five
hundred items.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
In a grocery store.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
You, yours cart's gonna be looking different than mine than his,
based on your occasion, what you need, the price points,
et cetera. That's like picking out investments. So if I'm
going to tell you what investments you should be in,
it's so it's like me telling you exactly what should
be in your cart with thirty nine thousand, five hundred
different items.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Like I have to know so much more about you.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Yeah, And I think, like even think about our wine
drinkers back there. I'm sure there's a ton of those
listening to this. Right, you don't have to be the Somalia.
You don't have to know everything about wine. But when
it comes to money, like kind of like when you're
going to buy a bottle, you gotta know a little bit, right,
You gotta know that, like Organ's got good pinos and
Napa's got good cabs. And I think that's the thing
with finances. It's boring. We weren't taught it in our system,
(21:51):
and so we run from it. But I come on
here not to be an alarmist, but to just be like,
we know what we're doing when it comes to love
and money and talking about it.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
We know today.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It's not working. It's not all these statistics show us.
So like, let's step into it a little bit because
it's impacting so much.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Of our lives.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm curious because you said that you and
Caitlin didn't discuss all these things before you got engaged.
Do you think if you guys had gone like forensic
on this that it could have worked out or was
it just other stuff too?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I think I wouldn't point the finger at that, but
what I would tell you is this is that for sure,
because certain conversations weren't had it left an area for gray,
and then that gray was left to interpretation, and then
as a result of that, resentment was built. And two
good people had two different perspectives that couldn't meet in
(22:42):
the middle on certain things. And so this is now
going into more like therapy than actually finance. But financial
circumstances build resentment, and we all know in the therapy
world like resentment leads to massive issues within relationships. It's
like baby paper cuts that don't get taken in care
of become infected. Right, And so I think, like, you know,
there are a lot of moving parts, but that you know,
(23:03):
there were a couple of things there that definitely led through.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, it's interesting because, like my fiance and I talked
about kind of where our priorities lie in terms of money.
He's very very passionate about private school, like that's really
important to him. I went to public school my whole
life really aside from a little couple of years. So
to me, that's not a priority. I spent probably the
equivalent amount of money on appearances, you know, I like
(23:29):
on my hair, on my nails. When you add it
all up, like and you don't realize, Like I never
realized any of that stuff until I started adding it
all up, how much I spend on my hair, nails, clothes, facials,
you know, like all that stuff that I just do therapy,
you know, Like it all just adds up. And so
it's like sometimes I think it's having grace for like
(23:49):
difference in opinion and a relationship and just kind of understanding, Okay,
this is your priority, this is my priority. Where do
we meet in the middle. You have to compromise, And
so I just think it's it's really really important, and
I think everybody. So the book is called Talk Money
to Me, The Eight Essential Financial Questions to discuss with
your partner. It comes out April second, yep April second,
So where can everybody pre order it?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yes, you could pre order it on Amazon, Barnes and
Noble Target. If you go to my Instagram page, it's
on my bio and and everything you said is so
bang on about just the importance of these stuff, these
conversations like they just have to be had. And you
also think about like the life you want to live, right,
like you think about retirement.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
So a scenario I give people is like when you
plan for a vacation, like a week vacation, think about
all the things that go into it. You know your flight,
what do you bring in, how are you packing? Like
all the different parts. When you're planning for retirement, that
is a thirty year vacation, that's over fifteen hundred weeks
you're planning for.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And so many of us continue to put that off
and put that off.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
And it's having right, but it's having conversations like that
that allow us to take a step back and say, Okay,
if I can reduce my spending today, that thirty year
vacation I go on will be an absolute dream. And
I do have in this book, I have a benchmark.
So anyone listening people always say, okay, well where should
I be with retirement? So I'll give you a little
bit of a benchmark here. According to this table in
(25:13):
my book, if you have household income of i' let's
say one hundred and fifty thousand, and you are what
would you say your average age of your listener is.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Thirty three?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Okay, so we'll round up to this table. We'll do
thirty we'll do thirty five. So if you have household
income of one hundred and fifty k and you are
thirty five years old right now, to give you a benchmark.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
By the way, Jason has calculator out right now, he's
really good, real time.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah, three hundred and thirty thousand dollars in your retirement
if you're thirty five with a household income of one
hundred and fifty k. Now, let's take a breather. Not
everyone's there, So there's another chart in here. So if
you're thirty five years old at one hundred and fifty
k household income and you don't have that in they're
saying to catch up, you need to put twenty one
(25:59):
percent of your income into retirement. So The point here
between both of these tables is to know where you
are compared to where you should be, and if you're
not there, what you could do today to get there.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Right, That's that's the thing like I and that's the
thing I struggle with a lot because I'm like, oh, retirement,
Like I want to live my life now. I'll get
that when I get to it. But I'm like, I'm
starting to feel like it's coming a lot sooner. Like
life just happens, and it happens fast.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
You know it happened.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
But like there's so much with finances, Like I feel
like it's not just your income, it's not just your spending.
It's are you investing? Are you keeping money in the
bank and having it just do nothing for you in there?
Do you have student loans?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
You know?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Like there's just so much to it that it feels
so overwhelming. Yeah, is does the book kind of like
give people a good like digestible, How do I if
I'm starting at zero? How do I get started?
Speaker 3 (26:50):
It's literally made for that. So it's one oh one
basic analogies. If you are a financial expert, this book
is not for you. If you get like basic basic,
we gets dumped up with words. I have a it's
called literally the no bullsh Glossary at the end. So
it is like the basic one on one to get
you where you need to be and to like know
everything you got to know to be dangerous with it.
And I think even like when you think about spending,
(27:12):
so there's a little equation out there for retirement. You
take your annual spence, so whatever you spend annually, and
then you multiply that times twenty to twenty five. So
let's just say you spend I'm gonna just make this up.
Doesn't for anyone back home. I'm making it up. You
spend thirty thousand dollars a year on stuff? Okay, I'm
sure it's probably more than that, but you know, let's
just say, let's just say it's one hundred thousand. We'll
do a clean number. You have to have saved twenty
(27:36):
five times that conservatively to retire, so that would be
two point five million for you to retire and live comfortably.
So when we're thinking today and we're not thinking about retirement,
a good way to think about it is if I
spend less. So I just said two point five But
if we could bring that number down to eighty thousand.
You now have to save two million. You just instantly
have to save five hundred thousand less for your retirement
(27:57):
if you just bring it down twenty percent save.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I have two rapid fire questions when it comes to
buying or leasing a car. What would you recommend?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
It depends on the circumstances, because right now it's just changed.
But here's what I would tell you anything with the
car buying process, do not ever go in there and
say I have a monthly amount I can spend. Get
the payment to that amount, because a good salesperson is
going to be able to structure it so they make
the most money. But your monthly payment is what it's
going to be now. The toughest part about your question
(28:44):
is two years ago, when cars were appreciing it the
way they were, the answer was lease, But today the
answer would be use car. But it changes by a used, certified,
pre owned car is the answer today. That can change
in a month from.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Now, because like I was always taught, never lease a car,
buy a car, stop paying rent, buy a home, you know,
like that type of stuff. And I feel like it
kind of went the other way for a while, where
it was like, don't buy a car lease don't. Now
it's like, don't buy a house rent you know. I'm like,
you never know. It's like, I guess you just have
to really be like tuned into what's on the economy.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Well, for leasing, when you lease a car, your buyout
value is determined the day you execute the lease. So
like I actually lease my car for tax purposes because
the dollar that I could write off, but that amount
the day I leased the car. Three years later, when
my lease was up, I could have sold the car
for more than the number that was agreed upon three
years before because of appreciation. So it changes. Here's someone
(29:40):
you have to have on your podcast. Have to your
listeners will love her. She's the car mom. She has kids,
share her dad owned dealerships. She came out of my
podcast training Secret shares every little hack that you should
know if you have kids, when you're consuming when you
go to dealerships, how to beat them. She's incredible. Now,
with renting, there's a ratio. People, it's very This one's
(30:01):
easier to understand. It's called the rent to own ratio.
Because fluctuation of pricing is changing significantly. It is a
ratio that tells you how many years of your current
rent you would be renting until you own the house
based on the price of the house. Okay, so in
big cities you can rent. Yeah, I mean you could
(30:22):
rent for fifty years and you still won't own the property,
like New York City because the values are so high.
In this book, I have a chart that tells you
if your rent to own ratio is a certain multiplier,
you should be renting or you should be owning it.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (30:37):
So if you could own your house with what you're
paying for rent in five to ten years based on
the value of what the home is, you should not
be renting.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You should be buying it, right.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Because if you rented that place for five to ten years,
you would owned the property. So there are ratios out there,
like rent to own ratio that can help people.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
One other thing really quick too, are scrubbers A lot
of them have I'm a blinking on what it's called
debt from student loans debt? Yeah, how do you go
about tackling that in like the best way?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Okay, So anything debt related. First of all, there's good
debt and there's bad debt. We classify this as good
debt are tied to things that are appreciating assets, bad
debt are things that are tied to non appreciating assets.
Example of good debt a house. You have a house
tied to it. History tells us it's appreciating. Bad debt
credit card debt. When you go by you know, you
(31:34):
do the hair, the nails, the makeup. You have no
asset tied to that. So with all these forms of debt,
what I say is there's an avalanche model. Take an
Excel file, put all your debt, and then put all
your interest rate, and whatever your highest interest rate is.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I need you to take any.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Excess cash flow you have after your expenses and pay
the highest interest rate off first. It likely won't be
student that if you have credit card debt. Now, credit
card debts, it's kind of good and bad. If you're
you know, if you're a surgeon, you're going to We
know that your likelihood of getting the return on education's high.
We also know there's a lot of degrees out there
you're not getting a return. So the overarching theme is
(32:13):
you have to know how much cash you have after
your fixed and variable expenses, and then how you're taking
that cash and applying it to the debt, and there's
different debt programs and how to pay it back here.
But what I'll tell people is like, do not wait
for a government ballout because they've been talking about it
forever and it keeps getting pushed.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
It keeps getting pushed so much.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
I literally feel like I can talk to you for
a million years because like there's and I'm like, don't
even get me started on investments because I could ask you,
I could probably spend an entire hour going into that.
I know you have places to be and things to do,
so I really want to quickly before I let you go.
Are you moving forward in your next relationship? Is this
(32:55):
like a priority for you? Like to have these discussions
early on?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Oh at one hundred percent practice what I preach?
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Like that's it's a non starter.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, Like all these conversations will be had.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
And again, network's not self with so it's not like
if they don't meet a certain level, right, It's like,
these are conversations that must be You're only protecting yourself
and setting yourself up for success.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And now you live in Nashville. Do you think you're
going to live in Nashville forever.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I don't know, Like I don't think I'm going to
live in Nashville forever.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
So I'm working on that.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
There's a lot of moving parts with the dogs and
everything else. Yeah, so that's something that's like, you know,
really top of mind right now.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
One thing I'll tell people where they live is I
call it the third degree priority pro personal financial, professional
rate one through ten. What that city does for your
personal happiness, financial gain, and professional success, And based on that,
determine if it makes sense to live there or not,
because the city has to give back to you what
the cost is in one of those three categories.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Also, our scrubbers need to know because there's rumors that
you're dating a TikToker named Cat Stickler.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Those rumors, you hear those rumors.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Right here are scrubbers. You gotta ask them about dating
TikToker Cat Stickler.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah. Here's here's what I'll say to that question, is, like,
I think, after my last relationship, I'm in the space
of like kind of keeping things a little bit more
private right.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Now because it was so public, Because it was.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
So and there's so much there's a lot that comes
with that good and bad and so like the whole
the whole dating aspect, which I'm relatively new to. I'm like,
you know what, for right now today, I'm going to
kind of keep things private.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Until it becomes more serious.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yeah, until things become yeah yeah, but right now, I'm
keeping things a little private, keeping things private.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Okay, Okay, you know that that's me. I'm doing my.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Thing, not keeping things private. This is the place I'll
come back to and then we'll talk all about it.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
I totally get it because when I was dating, like
when I was just like you know, dating and a
rapid pace, I was like, you get you know, like
when you are public about it, then there's expectation put
on it, and so then you kind of weirdly feel
like you're like letting people down, letting yourself down, but
you're just dating. Like that's what dating is. Like, you
go out with someone a couple of times, it doesn't
work out, but I think that there's there's this expectation.
(35:24):
It does kind of make you feel a certain type
of way. So I do understand that. Yeah, sure, but
I've heard this cat Stickler is a good girl.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
She's coming on my podcast actually, and she's a great girl.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
She's amazing, she's very special, she's awesome, she's great.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Did you come on your podcast or she's great.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I interviewed her in Chicago at the episode's coming out
like a few weeks or so.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Is that how you met or No, No, we met prior.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, we met prior. Yeah, we met prior.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
I'm trying to. I'm trying to. We need to getting
the wraps. No, No, you know, I love you, and
so I respect I respect your privacy obviously have to
ask and people want to know. But I think I'm
really I love what you're doing, and I really want
to encourage you everybody listening to get the book. It's
called Talk Money to Me. They eight essential financial questions
to discuss with your partner. It comes out April second,
(36:18):
and you have the link in your bio.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
I'm asson, Yeah, the link in my bio. And the
other thing too, is we're on a book tour right
now with Capital One. They're sponsoring a Capital One cafe.
So did Denver, Austin, Philly, Chicago, del Rey, Boston, and
then I think we're going to add I don't know
if I said DC, but DC and then we're going
to probably add New York in Nashville, so that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So everybody, if you're in those cities, go out meet Jason.
Tell them you're a scrubber. Send your love and thank
you so much for being here.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I love the Scrubbers. I love you guys. Thank you
guys for having me.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Thank you all right, Ethan, what'd you think?
Speaker 4 (36:54):
I love Jason Tarctick. I just love him so much.
I do too, And you know, we don't have these
kind of conversations enough, and so I think it's so
important to me to destigmatize this.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
It makes you feel so comfortable about that.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I do too. And I think that like, obviously he's
a financial expert, so he maybe sometimes can get a
little in the weeds of things that may seem overwhelming
to you because they were overwhelming to me. But I
think at the end of the day, we all deal
with finances, you know, how to save, how to spend
income versus expenses, investing, what's smart what's not. And I
(37:28):
just think being involved in the conversation, having those conversations,
you know, like, are just so important. What you know
you were saying, somebody asked you what is being rich
mean to you? Right? Was it that?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Yeah, there was. I don't have his name in front
of me, but there's a guy who had on another
podcast and he was talking about like what, like what
what is being rich? Like what does that mean to you?
And like for some people it's like, oh, I want
to like a big house and I want a nice car,
and uh, he said to him, it's going to the
grocery store and not looking at what food can just
getting getting whatever I want and like not really caring. Yeah,
(38:03):
and I that really changed, like how I look at
how I spend money and how I save and like
the goals I have because I was thinking about that,
and I'm like, because I you know, I don't really
I don't need like a vault full of gold coins
like Screege McDuck has, but like, yeah, you know, like
being able to take a vacation a couple of times
a year, Like that's to me, that's that's rich.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
And the thing is too, it's all relative, you know,
it's all what matters to you. You could maybe want
to live in a smaller home and take more vacations
in a year, or if you don't really care about vacations,
you just want to live in a big, lavish home,
then that's more important to you, if you you know
what I mean. Like, it's kind of just figuring out
what's important to you, how you want to live your life,
where you want to spend your money, where you want
to save it, And it's different for everybody. So I
(38:44):
feel like that's what makes the conversation so interesting. And
I again, like I was telling Jason, I talked to
a lot of my friends, especially friends who are in
relationships with other people with kids and stuff, because the
conversation is very it's different, and so I just I
want to encourage everybody listening to have those conversations. It's
(39:05):
not weird. Talk to your friends about it, see how
they do it, what they're planning on doing, just so
that you're more aware of kind of different ways to
do things.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Money, whether we like it or not, money is a
part of our lives. Everybody has to think about it
and deal with it. And it's not It doesn't have
to be weird. You can just you know, if you
have anxieties about it, like if you talk to your
loved ones or your friends, yeah you feel better about it.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, I love listening to podcasts about it too, Like
I listened to Lewis Howe's a lot because I think
he has a lot of financial experts on and they
say a lot of things that I never really thought
about before. So I just want to encourage you to
have that conversation and just love Jason Tarctic. And I'm
gonna say, based off his body language, he's not single.
Yeah I would say that too. Yeah, I got a
(39:50):
little for me, but you know, respect, respect the privacy.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Yeah, so we love Jason and his significant other who
may or may not exist.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yes, exactly. We love you and talk to you guys later.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Bye. Mhm.
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