Rewind: Dare to Be Outspoken

Originally released March 20, 2023. 

This week we discuss what it means to be outspoken, how Jon loves a secret menu and why all debt should be forgiven. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey everyone, it's John, also known as doctor John Paul,
coming to you letting you know that this week we
are taking a small break. However, we didn't want to
leave you hanging, so take a listen to one of
our most famous and favorite episodes, honey, and we will
be back next week with a new flavor in your ear.

(00:22):
Until then, stay black, fat, fin and fabulous. And remember
you may not be someone's cup of tea, but that's
all right. Tell them to drink some water because they
probably need it anyway. I love us for real, and
I'll see you next week.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Mine.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
The Black Fat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the Black Fat Film Podcast, where all the
intersections of identity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John,
also known as doctor John Paul, and this week we
are recording from a boat because it is still raining

(00:59):
in southern calif the eighteenth week of rain. And I'm like,
you know what, I know, y'all are tired of us
complaining about all of this rain, but it literally has
not rained like this since I was a kid, and
I just keep thinking like I can't even dress. Cue
every time I try to throw sometimes or trying to
throw a key shoo, rain, rain, rain. All we're getting
is rain, And I'm just I'm I'm really over it.

(01:21):
If I really, like I said before, if I really
wanted all this rain, I would move to Seattle. I'm done.
I'm just I'm over it.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Oh my god, I'm screaming. Did this say I like
the twentieth week of rain? Like God heels all or something?
This is this what we're waiting for? Like Corinthians er
Rainians like what happens when you rain?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
And lot amunt of times? Do we get? Does Jesus
save us? Do we get like?

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Do we get? Do we get all debt? All debt released?
I just need to know what rain? No, girl, I'm
just I'm really done. But anyway, enough with me complaining
about how wet my pants are?

Speaker 1 (01:59):
How how are you this week? Girl?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'm screaming, Hey, family, is you're an akajah?

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Your other co hosts and honestly, John speak for thyself, sister,
because rain or Sean, I am turning a fucking look.
That's why I have raincoats. I have raincoats for the
exact reason I have rain boots. I don't have rain boots,
but I'll just wear brickleshoes the rain and I will
fuck them up, but I will still do it for
the gram and the look this big area that he
feels right at home because I am cell us of
this rain. But I will say it has been you

(02:27):
were right, it has been too long a rain because
I am now the point where I'm like, why did
I move?

Speaker 2 (02:32):
What did I leave the Bay Area to come to
all this wedness?

Speaker 3 (02:36):
So I'm not about how much rain it has been
because I feel like I feel like the promise that
was made to me about something California and San Diego.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Is a lot and rain all that much. Yeah, it's
a lot, a lot. It is a lie. The frustrating
pro I'm gonna say is so for by the time
you all hear this, this will probably be what maybe
the I would say, maybe the good eighth or ninth
week of like straight rain we've had. And what I
will say is this the frustration, the frustrating part of
all of this is is that it'll rain for like

(03:06):
four or five days straight and then it'll go back
to being like warm.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Beautifully sunny.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah, like oh, Chris, and then it just and then today,
like today is beating on my face and gonna be
a cloud in my head, and I'm like, why God.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
That's the frustrating part, And that's the reason why you're
probably hearing me and I sound like I'm underwater because
I am still trying to get over this cold. But
I'm gonna save my converse. I'm gonna save my thoughts
about this whole cold and what I've been through with
it for the end of the show. But with that
being said, we're gonna go ahead and we're gonna push past.
So before we jump into this week's show, I really

(03:44):
wanted to say, first off, I wanted to give us
a big up because, Honey, the last two weeks our
show has been doing it. Okay, can we talk about
christ off, Let's let's do it. Let's do it. First off,
let's talk about us being moved to the new Outspoken
Network for iHeart yes, yes, so thinking of so for

(04:11):
folks who are probably like, what is outspoken? Outspoken? If
you have not followed us on social media, if you
have not been following the show we initially started when
Next Up, Next Step was moved over into Iheart's uh slate.
Now we're on the Outspoken slate, and the Outspoken Slate
is focused on all the LGBTQ shows that iHeart has
to offer, And so we're on the network with folks

(04:31):
like Lance Bass, like Laverne Cox. There's a new show
called Squirrel Friends where they talk about all of the
Rue Paul drag races. Yes and yeah, so we're they're
literally our sister like they literally are our sisters on
the network. And even cooler is that one of the
folks who started this program with me. And I'm not

(04:53):
sure if you had a chance to hold to meet them,
but Carmen Laurent. They are also a part of the
Next Step program. They are also on that Outspoken network. Now,
so again, we've been shouting it out all week from
the high heavens, but we definitely wanted to say shout
out to Jay Brunson and Rachael Willis who really worked
their ass off to make all of this happen into
line all of these shows. So that's the first cool part,

(05:15):
and thank.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
You for having us be a part of it as well, right.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Right, They could have easily told us to kick us
enjoy They could have easily said you can't sit here,
but no, they they brought us in and they really
have made us feel like we have a home with
iHeart and on this new vertical. So thank you so
much for that. And I also want to say to
a shout out to Bridget Todd who's also on it.

(05:39):
They are the host of There's No Girls on the Internet,
and so with that, it's been really really cool and
to kind of tie all of that into a really
beautiful bow. By the time you all hear this, it
will be two weeks ago. I was in Las Vegas
at the Pod Movement conference. We specifically talked a lot
about the Next Up initiative, and for folks who are
coming in, they're actually getting ready to start the new
round of Next Up. So shout out to those who

(06:01):
are getting ready to start. They'll have the same opportunities
we have to start their show. But I got a
chance to meet Bridget, I got a chance to sit
on a panel with both Bridget and Lance Bass and
it just really you know, I'll just say all of
this and this is kind of off of you know,
I know you all know that we have kind of
like this thing we go off of for each of
the show. I'll say off the cusp, it's been really

(06:21):
cool to really feel like iHeart believes not only just
in this show, but believes in the voice of queer people,
and really thinking about to this idea of being able
to take us to Vegas allow us to have some
fun in the process of actually celebrating us and our
success as well. I did get a chance to see
that Magic Mic show, So for those of y'all who

(06:43):
want to go to Vegas and watch it, it was good.
It was actually good. So it wasn't as much so
and again this is the reason why the show is explicit.
It wasn't as much dick and ass as we probably
would have hoped or imagined for a Vegas show. But
it was really good. It was very I will say
it was done very tastefully. And the Real Housewives were

(07:05):
actually filming the same night that we went and saw
the show, so the will Housewives of Beverly Hills where
they're filming it was it was It was a lot
of fun, huh. But I did it to meet the stylist.
I did get a chance to meet the stylist of
Okay Erica James stylist. He came out right as we
were getting ready to leave, and I snagged him and

(07:25):
was like, hey, can I just get a corky photo
and just you know, thank you and you know whatever
whatever you say. Usually need see someone who's like, you know, famous,
No shade girl, because I would say right now, I'm
f famous. But with that being said, like it was
really cool to be able to just know that they
were in the same space and we were all having
a good time.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
So we are we are not FLEs famous because I
just met someone yesterday who was like, oh my god, yeah, y'all,
y'all the other black fat famb show. So we are
at least at least not.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Understanding us.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
I would I would go as and say we are seedless.
People are saying our name on the.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Streets, so I'll take sealist, I'll take se list. But
with that being said, it was just really cool all all,
you know, all the way around. So again, I know
we're bragging, but I think the one thing I did
want to say before we kind of like hop into
the show the way we do. I think the bigger
part of why we're spending so much time talking about
all of this is really because folks like us don't

(08:21):
get these opportunities, right, It's very rare that you see
two black, fat fem girls who are not only you know,
on the front page of Apple Podcasts, but you know,
really happy we're we're doing it, and we were putting
out consistent shows every single week. We're pulling in really

(08:41):
amazing guests, we have amazing producers who really support us,
down the house, down Boots, and so I just felt
the need to like kind of just take a quick moment.
We're on like episode thirty eight. You know, it's been
literally thirty eight weeks of us working our behinds off
to make this go, and finally it feels really good
to see the world actually starting to kind of like

(09:02):
take notice. So I'm laughing because I see one of
the super producers in the comments talking about how they
felt me about the about the Magic Mind movies.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
But all that to be said, yeah, no, number two
is it none of my two XXL.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
That was that that was the movie to me, Like
when they.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
I've never seen any of them, I haven't. I just
don't feel they need to watch them. I just okay,
it's fine. It's just saying, Okay, I get what you're saying, okay,
I see that. Okay, it is I mean number number
two was I think the best one I am.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
But it's okay, it's okay, okay, John, Next time I
see you, I will make you watch with me.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Will not. But anyway, thank you so much, thank you,
thank you. I appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Well, we have to show like we usually do with
our own you, miss Tisha Campbell, because as I said
last week, but yeah, get flowers to icons while they
are still here. And so the question, thank you, so
the question this week, and I wanted to get a
little some idea, but well, let's be real here.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
I'm deep every week, so kind of get really deep
with you.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
What is something that has recently happened that has changed
your values? And by this I mean something that has
made you question a value and shifted a bit or
maybe even create a whole new value for you.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
I'll share first, then we'll pass it to you. John.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
I used to pride myself.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
On being quick, like moving quickly getting things done, like
when everyone has to do something, I was always doing
it really really fast. Yeah, always did my work quick,
whether it's my schoolwork or my actual job. And every
but I realized that moving too fast was a trauma
response to a disappointment and failure. But if I move
too slow, then I was going to fail at something.
And I think that comes in like like being like

(10:55):
being the facting class, right, I'd be quick witted, quickly,
quick quick with response, be smart person because if I'm not,
those things that I'm not worthy of, like being existing
in life. And so it's so so I realized I
do that to like to have a defense mechanism. In return,
I sacrificed intention and attention to details. So I think
the value that I've come to really value now is

(11:17):
patients with myself and with others, and like there are
times in which I extra exercise patience. I'm like, damn,
I would not have been this patient with like like
ten years ago when you know, like I mean, I
feel like I can be patient with the most rambunctious
of Karens in the world and just like mm hmmm,
and be patient with myself and how I respond to
it too, Like I think I had to respond to

(11:40):
things like that and I always have something to say,
but like, actually nothing is that urgent.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
You know.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Urgency is a huge thing within nonprofit work. And a
lot of life and action don't be as urgent as
I thought I would. So I've come to really value
patience for myself and for others.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, like John, you know, I appreciate you mentioning that,
because I think that one thing that we don't talk
enough about is the value of patience. And I even
say it in the sense of like not only just
being patient with ourselves, but being patient with the process
in regards to life. Right, And so I know for
myself I can just you know, again, I'll say this
being in full transparency, because that's what people know. Here

(12:14):
at the Black Fatfilm Show, We're gonna be transparent. I
think there's even a point sometimes where we look at
our show and we're not valuing the patience of watching
this thing grow and watching the world come into it.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Right.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
You instantaneously want the fame, you instantaneously want the numbers,
but the world builds that up, right, Like everything in
this world, everything, there's always a monetary piece to everything
that you do. Time, money, you know, numbers of people
responding to it. So I think seeing you talk very
openly about valuing patients within yourself and in others is

(12:47):
actually something that I'm going to not only just like
pack away, but it's gonna be something that I'm more
intentional about, as you know, as I'm thinking about not
only just my own growth as a person, but I
think with everything that I'm doing what I will say
so I know when I when I initially read this question,
I have put that I you know, I think one
of the things in terms of value where things for

(13:09):
me has changed is really thinking about how we don't
talk enough about the ways that we get older and
we get into new situations, our values change. And I
know for me, one of the things that I know
I've learned to value more, and I say this in
so many different regards, is I value silence a lot
more than what I used to. And what I mean.

(13:29):
What I mean by that is I used to feel
the need to be the person to walk into a
room and always have an answer, to be the one
being able to give all, you know, basically coming in
as like you know, I got to come in being
the dictionary. I gotta give every I gotta be Google
for everybody, right. And I think one of the biggest
thing for me that I've learned as of late is
I don't always have to have a thought on an opinion.

(13:52):
I don't always have to be the person to know everything.
I don't always have to be the expert, and just
being good with just sometimes even being quiet it right,
Like I put as an example, you know, I remember,
or I can recall the last couple of weeks being
in a space where folks were talking really terribly about
someone that I knew, and I opted to not engage it.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Right.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
I knew in that moment that silence was going to
benefit not only just me, you know, and I just
kind of said, you know, I don't really have anything
add to this conversation. And I think folks kind of
got the cue by me doing that that I wasn't
going to engage in the tearing down of this person, right,
and just really being like, you know, we're all, we
all have faults, we're all struggling, we're all trying to

(14:33):
do the best that we can with what we have.
And when I was able to kind of say it
that way and I didn't really engage the conversation, it
was kind of like, Okay, I can see like while
it used to be cool for me to kind of
tear down people and talk terribly about people. I think
for me now, as I've getting as I'm getting older,
and like I said, my values around not only just silence,
but being kinder and being more intentional and being more

(14:55):
affirmative in different spaces. I think folks kind of just
got the notion of like, oh, John is not going
to talk shit with us. Okay, let's change the subject, right,
And so I think that that's been the biggest thing
for me is really just learning that none of us
are Beyonce, none of us are at a place where
we're above critique, and so just really valuing the importance
of extending grace not only to others, but also to ourselves.

(15:18):
And then sometimes, like my mama said, if you ain't
got nothing to say, don't say nothing at all. And
so that's literally what I kind of move on now.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yes, I love.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
So we got patience, we got valuing silence, we got
leving grace for ourselves. You know what else, the value
Jehan time, particularly our listeners time. So let's give them
a quick break, y'all, and we'll be back in.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Just a moment, all right, everybody. So this week, I
when I initially brought kind of to the table what
we were going to be discussing, you know, I told
joh I said it would it would not make sense
for us the same week that Outspoken to launch for

(16:01):
us to not have a whole entire episode that really
celebrates not only just the Outspoken network, but really celebrates
kind of the things that make us proud to be
who we are. And I think a big part of
who we are are our folks who are truly outspoken
or we say what we mean and we mean what
we say. And one of the reasons why I kind
of wanted to posit this conversation in this segment. So

(16:24):
I don't know if any of you know, but this
year they're up in the Bay, they're they're doing a
lot to not gonna say, memorialize because Angela Davis is
still with us, but they are really focusing a lot
on the work that Angela Davis has done and pretty
much celebrating it. And one of the things that comes
with that is that with a lot of the museums

(16:44):
and a lot of the different you know, social justice
places that are looking at Angela Davis's work, they are
really looking at the notion of radical change. And with
the conversation of radical change, really celebrating and Angela Davis
for being outsie spoken and really kind of pushing the
envelope and really kind of retelling the ways, or not

(17:06):
even retelling, I would say, reshaping the ways that we
think about voice as folks who are marginalized and are
pushing for change. And so with that being said, I
wanted to kind of create a space for us to
talk about what has it meant for us to be
quote unquote outspoken or to have that moniker put on us,
and what are the benefits, what are you know, what

(17:26):
are some of the negative things that comes with it,
and really thinking about like why we should be thinking
about why we all should be outspoken at this point
in time, specifically with everything that's going on. So I
guess Joha, I'll throw it to you first, like wanting
to ask you when you hear the word outspoken, what
does that mean for you?

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah, that's a lot, you know. When I've heard the word,
I've heard the word outspoken wielded typically for myself in
a very condescending way, like when outspoken is the same
way as saying I'm articulate, Like you're so articulate, you're
a out spoken you're so like courageous, and it's all
those things to me that I was always felt like.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
And I've had to take take.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
A step back and be patient with myself and understanding
how I how I write, how I.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Like process this.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
I've realized that what I take as condescension is like
actually my power, Like people say that. People will say
that to me in a concerting way because they're afraid
of my power or you know, this person's power, and
so it shows that I actually, I actually am those things,
like I am articulate and I am not spoken, and
I am powerful. And I think I think a lot
about Audrey Lord when she wrote, when I dare to

(18:36):
be powerful, to use my strength and service of my vision,
it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
And I think about that so much of like when
I when I do to be powerful and I do
to be articulate and not spoken, it's it's not important
that I'm fearful. It's more important than I am doing
this in service of the vision that I have. And
so I honestly, I think naming this network Outspoken is

(18:58):
so perfect because it highlights how much, particularly how much
queer and transcreator is there to be powerful, especially right
now in a time where like we're like the legalities
of our daddies and our humanities are being questioned and
brought up to Congress and governments around all states and
cities about whether we can even exist in public. And
so I'm I'm thankful and I'm thankful in this moment

(19:21):
now to say yes, we are outspoken.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
I And the reason why I one, I love your
comment so much, and I love that you included Audrey
Lord because during one of the sessions that we had
at you Know This at the Pod Movement conference, it
was actually during the next up part of of the
of the initial conference, someone had asked, you know, why
is it such a big deal for you specifically, or

(19:47):
anyone who's marginalized to have you know, this platform. And
I think one of the things that happens is oftentimes
we get so locked up in the fear of being
who we are because we're constantly being told that we
need to tuck ourselves away. And so when we think
about being on the Spoken network, when we think about
the title of the show, right, black Fat fam we
could have titled the show anything right, We could have

(20:09):
called it anything but we came out with three identities
that the world oftentimes is trying to make us tuck away.
And so being on the Outspoken network means we're talking
openly and honestly about those three identities, right, and talking
about I think I want to name to be very
I want to be very intentional about naming the idea too,

(20:29):
that we're not just talking about the bad that comes
with it, right, the idea that folks can celebrate who
they are through the lens of being black or fat,
or fim or all three of them, and screaming that
loudly in a world that's telling you, hey, you're too much.
And I think that's the thing about outspoken that's very

(20:50):
You know, when I hear the word outspoken, I know
for myself that's something I grew up with, right, I
grew up with the notion of being outspoken is a
negative thing because you're quote unquote two much for someone,
or you're saying too much, or you're taking up too
much space. And it's like, damn, right, I'm taking up
space because it's it's my space in the first place,
Like I should have already had this space. And so

(21:11):
now you know, we're kind of reclaiming that, and so
I put a note here that I think the word
has a new meeting for me these days, especially not
just with this show, but specifically with where we are
in the world. We're seeing people get banned for the outspokenness,
and I put outspoken in quotation, the outspokenness of being
trans the outspokenness of being black and proud, the outspokenness

(21:34):
of being queer, right, or being different in any sense.
It seems like everyone is kind of on the chopping block,
and so with all of these injustices that are happening,
I think it is so imperative for us to think
not just about this being like, yeah, let's celebrate this vertical,
but there are a lot of people who are putting
their livelihood and their lives and their experiences on the

(21:59):
line to give you a show every single week. And
I think that's the thing that makes me so like
intent about what does outspoken mean for me?

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Right?

Speaker 1 (22:07):
It's it's knowing what could happen and you doing it anyway.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
It's really company to know that we have summer experiences
with the sport and that we feel the same way
about it. And I really appreciate how you brought up
like just just just our name as a show. Yeah,
because like the show is that the name is so
on the nose for for us, and there there we
can discuss the ways in which on the nose is
not great and all the knows is great but for us.
I so like I didn't think about that to this moment,

(22:33):
like oh, we're called black fat fem that in itself
is inherently outspoken.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Be just your point.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
We are putting our dandies at people have not just
asked us to tuck away, but have tried to be
out of us, or have tried to force us to
not even tuck but to kill like when you people
are for tried to force us to kill these parts
of ourselves. And so it is so rightly audacious, own
spoken to be to be called this show. And I

(22:59):
mean I really yeah, I think private in this show
when people when people ask like what I do want
to talk about my identified job because it's a very
niche job, I like, I you know, I say, I, oh,
I coast a podcast.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
I'm like, it's because everyone has a podcast these days,
as what it feels like.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
But you know, the then I talk about it and
I'm like you know that someone says, what's the show
called my BFF, Black Flat Family, Like, oh, that's not
like it's very on the nose. It's also very important
that we are on the nose, like we are standing.
We stand so firmly rited in ourselves and in our daddies,
and we aren't trying to hide ourselves.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Like the whole point is that the show takes up space.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
As you said, And I think I've obviously been on
my my Betty who tip because.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
We're seeing her yes two weeks.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yeah, I'm so excited for And it's that song Big
where you know, yeah that Betty says that you want
apologize for taking his Facebook apartment is like, okay, well
I go calm down. But also well the song for us,
right right, right, so you know so, so i'd love
to ask, now, as we begin to shift what this
word means to us, and we know that we want
people to take the.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Value of being spoken with them, why do you think.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
It is so important for our listeners to not be
afraid of what needs to be said as well.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
I'm laughing because you said okay, white girl, calm down.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
I mean because I'm.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Sorry, I don't know why right, no, right, right, and
we and we will support you. I'm wearing my shirt.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
But okay, were.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Right, we are there. But no, you know, you ask
a really good question. You asked a question, right, Why
is it so important for listeners right now to not
be afraid to be outspoken? And I think about and
I think that that's the thing of why I love
this show like I love I look forward to doing
the show every single week. It's because there have been
so many of our ancestors who didn't get a chance

(24:48):
to say the things that we we said, Like they
set the precipice. They you know, they they did the work,
but you know, whatever happened to them in life, whether
it be you know, they got got by you know, oppression,
or you know, they eventually just said, hey, I don't
think the world's paying to me anymore, so I'm gonna
just go ahead and go over here and be quiet
and just you know, let the world do whatever it's

(25:09):
gonna do. Because they got burnt out or whatever the
case may be, it's set the precipice for us as
people to come forward and say, you know what, I'm
I'm not gonna let whatever happens to me, happen to me, right,
or whatever happened to them happened to me. And it's
not to say, you know, I want to make sure
I make it very clear that I'm not dancing with
the idea of like, oh, I'm not my ancestors. I

(25:29):
am my ancestors, right. I tell people all the time,
before I do any talks, before I go anywhere, you know,
and I do any trainings, I always say, my ancestors
come in the room with me, and they're the ones
telling me, this is how you do the work, girl, right.
And so what I mean by the work is is
that if I have to tell a white person that
they're being racist, I have the power to do that.
If I have to tell someone that they're being homophobic

(25:51):
or transphobic, or if I'm having to kind of go
to bat with somebody about some type of injustice, the
ancestors are the ones that are giving me the power
to do that. And so I think that that's why
it's so important for folks to understand, you know. I
I guess the I'm processing like multiple thoughts at one time,
but I think the biggest thing for me is really
I want folks to understand in this moment when we're

(26:12):
talking about being outspoken, we're in twenty twenty three and
folks are moving at a rapid pace to try to
eradicate us. We don't have the luxury to be quiet.
We don't have like your voice is your biggest weapon.
And I think that your voice, you know, when you
can incite others. And I think that's the reason why.

(26:33):
I mean, you think about it. If and I've said this,
if enslave people knew how to read, I mean I
always ask this question, like why do we think that
enslave people didn't They didn't want enslave people to read.
Was because knowledge was power and knowledgement being able to
share it with your peer, you were able to share
freedom or the route to freedom with your peer. Right,

(26:53):
So being outspoken is just that when I stand up
and I say, this is an injustice, and it's not
just an injustice for me, but it's an injustice for
trans people, it's an injustice for people in Palestine, it's
an injustice for people that are you know, that are
in that are being oppressed in China, it's people who
are being oppressed wherever, right on a global scale. When

(27:14):
I say that an injustice is an injustice period. I'm
giving other people the opportunity to to feel like they
can change something or can do something about the said
systems that are that are harming them. So all that
to be said, you know, I just think that it's
so important for folks to know, like we don't. I

(27:35):
say all that to say, we just we're not in
a place right now. And this is the social justice
tip that I'm on these last few weeks. I've just
been sitting here and I'm going, we don't have the
luxury to be quiet right now. We just don't. We
we really don't, because if we do, we are doing
ourselves a true disservice, especially in an age where information
is getting out so rapidly.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
So I it's I love that you said because I
often think of the quote that you am part to me,
and that's right from from Herston that if I'm selling
about my pain, they all killings that I enjoyed it.
Like yes, I mean I've never known that quote if
it wasn't for you, And I think about that instantly.

(28:18):
So here you say, we don't have the luxury of
being silent. It's also goes hand in hand with that,
like we if we're selling about our pain, they will
kill us and tell us that we enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
And that is I'm not just saying that anymore in
this lifetime.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
But yeah, the journey, no, and it's not the journey
for any of us. But I think that it's also too,
like you know, kind of switching lanes in the same
vein right, the same way, I'm talking about all of
the bad things that can come, and that's needed to
be outspoken about that. I think the one thing I
love about the show too is that we are outspokenly
talking about the joy that it is to be us, right, Like,

(28:53):
I want people listening to the show and not be like, Okay,
here comes another week of them talking about how bad
things are. Yeah it's bad, but girl, it's also bomb
to be us right. It's bombed to sometimes it's you know,
it's really cool to be able to sit with my
duties and be like, hey, you know, this is what
makes us so cool as black feat you know, film folks.
And so I think about that too, Like a big
part of being outspoken is also you know, pointing out

(29:16):
the joy. But I guess kind of going back like
to a point that you made earlier. I guess I
wanted to ask you, is you know, in talking about
being outspoken or the risk or the push that it
takes to be outspoken, whether you're celebrating yourself or whether
you're talking about injustice, what for you has I guess

(29:36):
I'll ask you this personally, like, because you do do
a lot of like social justice work and you're in
the community, what has it been for you to know
that using your authentic voice when you're outspoken, Like, how
has that helped you in doing all of the work
that you do?

Speaker 3 (29:52):
Mm A love love this question because it has absolutely
helped everything with it me and I if I so so
one I'll name like as I think since before maybe
the last episode, like language has been hard for me

(30:14):
growing up because I talking was hard for me growing
up with my stutter in the way I process and
the way my brain processes in my mouth like speaks
or doesn't speak it and so I have had to
fight through my voice shaking a lot to say things
and to that spoken. And and you know, so I
think so much about even if my if even if

(30:35):
my voice shakes, like I must speak and I must
say something and it has.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
It has a locked every door for me.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
I so a less that I was raised by two people,
my parents, who really believed in a better world. In
some ways, it was like you believe in the world
that isn't existing at present, but you believe in a
better world, and like an actually want to see it happen,
and you know, and I think you know my parents,
I think they I think this is a little bit woogo.

(31:03):
But I think sometimes when people have kids, I think
I think part part of birthing something right is that
you plant this little seed of what you help for
the future in that child, you know, And I I
feel a responsibility for that. I feel a tug towards that,
Like I feel like that's part of my destiny and
that's not for my purpose as to help that seed
bloom into something whatever that looks like. And so it

(31:24):
has absolutely opened every door. If I wasn't this outspoken,
quote unquote curious, as they would say in my elementary school, right,
curious kid who asked a lot of questions and spoke
up and spoke spoke out for things like I wouldn't
be I wouldn't be anywhere, Like I think so much
about I think so much about my my first like
my my first big career job. And I remember in

(31:44):
my interview, they asked, what you know, what what do
you what do you have, questions do you have? And
I am My mom had said to maybe consider not discussing,
like not talking as much about being black or queer
because it was for a Jewish organization. And I said,
I am black, I'm gay, and I'm queer, and I
haven't do what that means that I want to figure
it out.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Can't figure that figure that out here?

Speaker 3 (32:04):
And I think and like, you know that the person
who responded like was like it says amazing people think
and then they're like, if we hire you, Wink Wing,
then we'd look to show you what your community can't like.
And I honestly truly think if I didn't not say
that in that interview, that they would not have seen
how passionate I was to be in to be in
this work. And you know, and then and and I

(32:25):
think I mean even at school, John right, if I
wasn't outspoken, you would have never met I would ever connect,
like it would not have been so everything I have done,
like and I I would love to hear your thoughts
on it too, But I think for myself that it
has gained everything for me in the best authentic way.
I mean, I used to want to be an influencer,

(32:47):
and I then stocks I realized it wasn't authentic to me,
Like it wasn't that the college do my voice, it
was authentic how I was showing up, like it wasn't
fitting well with me and I and I that moment
was like it may never happen, and that's fine, or
happened the way it's meant to in four years later,
like I'm on like I'm on this show with someone
who I love so much, who has taught me so
much and is making me realize how much of an

(33:09):
activist I am and how much of a person who
fights for freedom, liberation and seeks it and wants to
practiciate in himself and in the world, Like how much
of that and how that influences me. So I think,
you know, it's gives so much ex certainly and also
for internally, it gives me joy, like it helps me
practice self advocacy, It makes me intention with the people
that surround myself with, like my friends, my fucking friends,

(33:31):
like my chosen family, are the.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Most self advocating people I've ever met.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Like they they advocate themselves in their jobs and their relationships,
and their sex lives, and their personal lives and.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
In their families. And I think that's so special.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
It shows them how to love themselves, you know, it
shows ourselves that we matter. And and I think back,
you know, back the point a few episodes of that,
we talked about loving yourself versus liking yourself being it
is an active love for yourself because.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
You're teaching others what you well you will and will
not stand for.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
I mean, you speak authentically, you gain some awareness power,
and keep a connection to yourself. So I said a
lot those things.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yea, it's all necessary. And I think that that's the
thing that if there's if there is not one thing
I'm getting from people who not only follow the show
on social but also listen to the show weekly. A
lot of folks love when we get into what I like,
you know, with some people think, oh, it's very long winded. No,
I think people are listening and they're taking notes from

(34:32):
you and from me and from a lot of other
individuals who are showing up authentically. And I think that
that's a part of being what what being outspoken is right?
Outspoken in itself right, Not only is it just a vertical,
but when you look at each of the shows that
and again, and I want to make sure I make
this very clear, I heart did not tell me that
we had to do this show. Like, so if people

(34:53):
are listening and they're going, oh my god, this is
just a plug, it's really not. It's me thinking about
what when we hear the word outspoken. When I heard
or when I saw the when I saw the actual like,
what's the word I'm looking for? When I saw what
the word was gonna look like, when I saw the branding,
the logo, the logo is what I was looking for.
It hit me because outspoken was never a word that

(35:16):
I associated wanted to associate myself with growing up. Right,
Whenever I heard people talk about Jonathan is outspoken or
Jonathan you know they got a big personality, right that.
There are all of these little words and monikers that
people said about me growing up that I've had to
as i've gotten known, I've had to reclaim and outspoken

(35:38):
was one of them, right, And it's like, yeah, I
am outspoken, and the reason why I'm outspoken is because
I know that if I don't say or if I
don't like you said the self advocacy piece, if I
don't speak up for me, y'all, niggas are going stop
me out and literally run like run right past me
and say, girl, you brought that on yourself, right. And
that's the thing like I keep thinking about, like we're

(36:00):
thing in a time now where it's like people The
only word I could keep coming up with this gas lighting.
People gaslight the hell out of you, especially when you're marginalized.
They like to they literally like to say, everything that's
happening to you is your own fault. Right, So if
you sit with it, if you're sitting here and you're
going something that's happening around me is making me feel

(36:21):
a certain type of way, and you're not gonna be
outspoken about it. You can't get mad like no shade,
but you can't get mad when the intended outcome is
not what you want it. I'm not gonna be that girl,
because I'll say it like this, Everybody at I heart
knows who I am. Everybody in this world knows who
I am. I'm gonna say what one needs to be
said and if you don't like it, I'm sorry. Then

(36:42):
you know, I don't know what to tell you, girl.
But I think the big part of being outspoken really
comes down to this notion of knowing that life has
never been like we said a few episodes ago. Life
No Crystal stays for me, honey, And a big part
of that is me having to advocate for myself because
I knew that if I did not, that this world
was going to swallow me whole and then say, oh,

(37:04):
you brought it on yourself, girl. You good, you find
So I think that that's the biggest thing for me
is that I think we really have to like I
guess this is kind of like a call to action
episode where I'm really trying to get folks to not
just tear and not go, oh, you know, it's so
cute and so cool that John and Joho, you know,
really love who they are. Yeah, we want that for

(37:25):
you too, right. We want you to love who you are,
and we want you to speak up for yourself and
own all of the great things that you are. But
I also think a big part of being outspoken is
making sure that you just you know, you don't take
no shit from nobody. And this is like and and
and and when I'm when I say that, I mean
that from anybody. If it's your job, it's your family,

(37:45):
it's it's it's a friend who you know is doing
you wrong. And you can't actually you can't seem to
self actualize why you can't muster up the courage to
say you're being a terribly shitty friend. And I don't
need your you need your friendship anymore? Say something, girl,
say something.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
I just you know, John, I I I I know,
I know we have to cut to cut to break soon.
But when I just I have I feel like so
gonna say this, but one of my really good friends Kelsey,
who was also.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
On the show before, Yeah, like like for I don't
know that.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Like a full chance, I want a chance by or
that I'm I forget all of it. But it ends
with like you have nothing to lose but your chains.
And I think so much about what comes to being outspoken,
and I and your point about called action for anyone
listening to this right now, being outspoken, you have nothing
to lose but your chains. Amen, we have nothing to

(38:37):
lose by our chains, and we have but we have
and we have everything else to gain. We have everything
else to gain, power, self respect, self love, care for others, community,
respect for others, change in this world, like we have
so much to gain by but by doing that and
the only thing became one of the only thing we
were losing us for chains here. So amen, like amen, people, please,
if you are listening to this, like like they, dare,

(39:01):
dare to do it. Dare to be outspoken for yourself,
be spoking for community, be utspoken, you know, for your ancestors,
for the people people before you, because they brought.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Us here and they did not like hop pas right
right a.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Man today and I was gonna say, now now you
got me and it's not getting ready to title it.
Dare to be outspoken, because that's gonna be the title
of this episode. Faint.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
So I love when we I love when immediately we're
in the show and the title for the show immediately
comes up because it's so it's like laying at us
and it's like, well, that's gonna be the title. So
thanks for giving us that. Joho, and and and again,
thank you for I mean, thank you for engaging this
conversation with me, because it's like I know people probably
like a yeah, here they go with they seut box

(39:50):
talking about change, and it's like, you can't. You're not
gonna you cannot come to the BFF podcast and not
get a social justice lens or.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
I don't think.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
I don't think anyone who I don't think anyone who
listens to our show is like.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
Oh no, no again. I think like they come here
for this.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
There I received that. I received it because I'm gonna
tell you right now, that's all we're gonna do over
here is we're gonna we go on our sore boxes
and we're gonna be encouraging people to say what needs
to be said so we can get shit done. But
with that being said, I got to be outspoken about
the need for us to take a commercial break. So
when we get back, we are going we are going

(40:27):
to talk about what's on our plate and what's given
us life more. In a second, Hey, Sam.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
We are back and for today's What's on your Plate,
We're letting loose slips spell as we talk about our
favorite secret menus.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
Baby.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Now, I'll be.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Honest with you, John Positive, this question actually was stumped
because I don't know any secret menus. I was like,
secret menus what's more secret than what they gone the
menu from my face of the drive through, Like but
I can say and out, but like I mean, and
they have and they have animal fries, but maybe it's
all I got and we're we're gonnaday in age where.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
It's no longer secretly because the time.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
Was googling secret menus and and uh and and I
literally said not so secret menu on their website.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I was like, oh, no, they know the secrets. I
I have nothing. So John and Light talk about menu.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
You know I'll be there for that. Yet not you
being Whitney Houston talk about you. We havenathacha No, I
would go say, so this this actually spawned from shout
out to our super producer Anna Hosnia, who we were
when we were out in Vegas. We were talking about
like just different things we like to do when we
go out to eat and all of these things, and
they had brought up I guess, And again I didn't

(41:44):
even know this there. I guess. In a lot of
Chinese food places, especially sit down Chinese food places, they
have separate menus. So when you go into a restaurant,
they will hand you like the traditional like Americanized Chinese menu.
But if you asks for like a secret menu, a
lot of Chinese food restaurants and they said the same
thing with like Thai restaurants, a lot of like Korean restaurants,

(42:06):
they have like actual secret menus. And so I was
telling them we were talking about it. They were like, oh,
you should actually have a conversation about like what are
some secret menus or what are some secret things? And
for me, considering where I live or where I should
say where we live because we both live in southern California,
there's no real like secret you know, under underscore a

(42:27):
lot of the secret stuff that we talk about and
stuff everybody knows. But there are little things that I
love to do as a big girl. And I shared
this with somebody and they said, oh my god, this
changed my life. So I told somebody, I said, next
time you go to Wendy's, like, these are all my
secret menus, the secret things that I know. Next time
you go to Wendy's. Uh, before they put like if
you say, oh, I want to frosty, before they put

(42:47):
the frosty in the actual cup, you take pecans. They
because they have these pecans in the bag and you
ask them to drop the pecans, or you ask for
two bags of the pecans, and you ask for a
separate cup, and then you put your pecans in the cup,
and then you moved the frosty over into it and
put the pecans on top of it. Baby, let me
tell you something something about those pecans and that frosty,

(43:10):
the way it mixes it all change of life. It
literally is like and again. And I have always have
to tell people. The reason why I know this is
because when I first, like, my second job, was working
at Wendy's, and so I was one of those girls
who would always like, how do I say this? I
wasn't stealing food, but I was always thinking I was

(43:37):
taste testing, and so when I would taste test, that
was one of my favorite things to do. But a
lot of the stuff that I actually just learned random tangent.
Did you did you hit it? They got rid of potatoes.
Wendy doesn't make make potatoes.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Anymore, Wendy. I mean me, I do not like Wendy's.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Okay, you know, I don't know you. I really don't
know me.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Sorry not for me, armies with you.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
But if we go Wendy's and that last time I
had Wendy's as When I went to Wendy's, I had
drove my friend and I was and she was on Monday's.
I said, girl, I don't want none of that ship.
And then she got sick that night from Wenday's. I
was like, that's why I want none of those ship.
Oh live laugh love. Their social media game can never
give me to buy something from them. Wow, I never

(44:21):
do about you, but but the potatoes. I'm so I'm
so sad about about the potatoes. I will never buy.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
But tell me not, you said, being sad for potatoes
I've never buy. Yeah, I don't know, but a lot
of their stuff has changed, so I don't know if
they're still doing chili. I usually only go through there
and get like one. The way I do Wendy's is
the way that I do McDonald's. I'm only going to
go through Wendy's and get the same thing I always
get the Asiago Club the same way. When I go
to McDonald's. The only thing I'm ever gonna get is

(44:47):
the fish filet or the filet fish. I'm never I
rarely deviate from that. Like if I'm gonna go to McDonald's,
I'm only probably nine times out of ten gonna get
the filet fish. I might get some nuggets, but I'm
not gonna do anything else on their menu. It's just
the holy But all that to be said. So that
was one of the secrets. And then the other secrets

(45:08):
that I have for those of you who are Starbuckings
like myself. So one thing that I always like to
tell people is, yes, the refreshers have a lot of caffeine,
but if you really want to oof your caffeine or
you wanna take your caffeine to the next level without
your drink tasting weird, I always sub out the water
or the lemonade for green tea because green tea has

(45:31):
the most caffeine in it. And the reason why I
know that is because when I worked at Starbucks, they
sent us to like a Starbucks like green bean coffee
thing and we had to like remember how much caffeine
certain teas and things have, And so they still use Taso.
And because they still use Taso, Taso is one of
the few brands that still like they pump a lot

(45:52):
of caffeine into that green tea, honey. And so if
you're gonna do the refresher. And if you're gonna do
a refresher with the green tea, that's that's the if
you're not an expresso girl, because I'm not. I've never
been like a coffee expresso girl, but like a Starbucks
refresher with like green tea and something.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Man, you don't give a bit your heart attack.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
You want to talk about heart text? Have you ever
had one of those uh charge lemonades from Panera? Bread?

Speaker 2 (46:18):
No? And I and because you talk about that's not
gonna be me. I have. I have one shot of
caffeine and I'm like, it's like.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
My heart is too much.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
Yeah, that you want to talk about you want to
talk about something, but no, I feel like the refresher
situation from Starbucks with like the green tea. It's just
enough caffeine. It's not gonna it's not gonna put you
to It's just enough. It's not it's not one of
those situations where you're like, oh my god, I'm gonna
die because I feel like I'm gonna jump out of

(46:50):
my skin. But yes, it's it's just enough.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
Okay, so so so so on I'm getting is that
not everything is a secret menu as it is like
a like a like a customization that we do because
if we're on that tip, let me tell y'all, you
can go a taco bell and you can sub all
your meat for potatoes and black beans. Because that's why
I do every motherfucking time. Okay, I'm like, okay, please get.

Speaker 1 (47:11):
Me a.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
Supreme, but sub the beef for beans or just potatoes.
So if you want to see your money for tacoboll, y'all,
just sub your ship out. Because and that's someone who
was a practicing vegetarian slash local war as someone would
call me, I was like I would I would not purchase.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
I would not purchase a beef. FILLED would always.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
Sub the fuck I'm gona tacobo stuff. So that's a
secret right right right there for y'all. And now that
you know all of our secrets, y'all, we gotta take
one more.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
Break to uh repent for but we will be right back.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
All right, everybody, So we're getting ready to get into
our yes, ma'm and I no man PAMs for this week.
And I did want to say real quickly about like
last segment, So I did want to say like kind
of a call if you have I know you said
that it's not necessarily a secret menu, but if you
have like something that you want to customize, share it
with us. We would love to like talk more about
what and are What are the things that we are missing,

(48:18):
what are the things that were like, Okay, girl, you
need to try this when you go here, you need
to go that. And what I will say is this
Starbucks a lot of those drinks that y'all make on
TikTok when you're like, oh, it tastes like this, it doesn't.
It doesn't. It doesn't taste like any of the things
that you're talking about. It just tastes like a whole
bunch of mixed up flavors.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
John is there side of question? Is there a Dutch
Bros Near you at all? Yes?

Speaker 1 (48:41):
And I've been there once.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Okay, so they just so Dutch Bros.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
It literally has not touched anywhere near San Diego, but
they opened one at Ocean Side. And so if anybody
has a cigarette for Dutch Bros, let it bitch now, okay,
because that shit is what growing up was only in
like stocked it. It was only like in Central Valley,
so you can never go. So if you all have
Dusch brows, tricks and tips and trades.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Let me know.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Okay, yeah, but please yeah, if you have that, please
please send it to us. We love getting to it.
But anyway, getting into our yes maams this week, I'm
gonna go ahead and start so this week, I definitely
just wanted to say, like I don't really have like
a a very direct yes ma'am. Obviously we're gonna say
yes ma'am to a lot of the folks by the
time you all hear this, and it will be a
week since that has passed. About this whole Oscar conversation,

(49:27):
there are a lot of folks who won last night,
a lot of folks who didn't. I don't want to
spend a lot of time talking about it because y'all
all know my thoughts on it. I wrote about it
for BT. If y'all want my thoughts on the oscars,
you can go read the article. With that being said,
I just wanted to definitely say, like, shout out to
people who are who are winning and all of that
being said, but I did want to say specifically, yes
ma'am to anybody and everybody who is doing the best

(49:49):
they can what they got. I think Maria Carrey, Right.
I think the reason why I bring that up is that,
you know, I've been saying a lot in these last
couple of weeks, is that a lot lot of the
stuff that folks are seeing in this world is so massly,
heavily curated, and there are a lot of people who
are beating themselves up for not you know, Oh, I

(50:10):
you know, I didn't get this book deal, or I
didn't get this opportunity, or you know, I didn't get
this job, and I'm a loser because I didn't get in.
It's like, nah, girl, Like, yeah, they may be it
may look like everything's going good for some people online,
but there are people who are over here struggling. So
I definitely just wanted to send a shout out to
folks who are genuinely, like you know, really doing the
best that they can, whether it be financially, whether it

(50:31):
be mental health wise, whether it be physically. Like, everybody
is dealing with something, and all of us are dealing
kind of with the same things, especially marginalized folks. Right,
We're all dealing with bands, We're dealing with you know, money,
everything is high. I'll just say this. I went grocery
shopping with my husband this weekend. My god, what like,

(50:53):
literally we did not We got maybe six bags and
we spent one hundred and fifty dollars. What. Yeah, it
is definitely giving struggle bus. So I definitely want to
say that shut we are driving the struggles straight to
hell because everything is awful and we are all doing

(51:15):
the best that we can. Now, where I'm about to
go off, how much time is that we got about?
I'm looking at the time here and I wanting to
make sure that I don't take all of the time.
So my no man, pam this week I normally, So
I'll say this, I want to I want to start
here and then I want to go somewhere with this story.
Where I'm going to start is this, I recognize heavily

(51:38):
that we are not out of a pandemic. Totally get it,
totally respect it, totally understand it. I am still masking.
I am doing the best that I can to mask
wherever I can mask. I'm also recognizing that people are
not taking They never have, but people are not taking
the pandemic seriously. Okay, So I say that to say

(51:59):
to this point that I also recognized that during the
pandemic there were a lot of folks who were nurses, doctors,
care providers, you name, anybody who worked in the medical
industry has been inundated with the ship. That is either
what happened during COVID, that that time in that window
where everything was shut down, and it's still even rectifying

(52:22):
and dealing with all of the shit that came from that. Right, So,
there are a lot of folks who are burnt out,
a lot of folks who dealt with a lot of death,
a lot of people who are just a lot of
people are dealing with a lot of stuff across the board.
Where my no Man Pam comes in this week is
specifically with the situation and the incident that I had
with Kaiser. And the reason why I'm naming them is

(52:45):
because I think it is imperative for us to be
transparent about I would I wouldn't call it injustice, but
I think I and again. And if you want to say, John,
you're reading too much into a girl, dial it back
or not. You can. But I think for me, it's
just it's hella frustrating when you say you're not well.
So I have not been well. I'll say this, I've

(53:06):
not been well since March lies. I've not been well,
probably since February twenty sixth. That was the last time
that I felt like myself right where I felt like
I wasn't like cloud headed, that I felt like I
wasn't wheezing, that I didn't feel sick, was around February

(53:26):
of twenty six So I called Kaiser a week later
and said, hey, girl, something's wrong. I know my body.
I know that I have had pneumonia before. I need medication.
I need help. They oh, well, we're not giving you antiotics.
We're only going to prescribe you this, this and the other.
And I'm going, okay, I understand that y'all are not
wanting to give people antibiotics really nilly, but I'm telling

(53:48):
you that this is going to turn into on set
pneumonia if you do not do anything about it, because
I know my body. I have been dealing with asthma
and sickness for years. A hold for me can kill me, okay.
And I'm telling the doctor's this because I can't get
into my primary and that's one of the other issues
that I have with Tayser. You can ever see your primary,

(54:09):
but you can always see in some other some other provider. Okay, fantastic, right,
so see them. They prescribe me stuff doesn't work. I
go into the hospital. When I see the doctor, she
basically treats me as if I'm making all of this up. Well,
your lung sound fine, but I can't breathe sis like,

(54:31):
I like, you're not even giving me time to explain
to you what my symptoms are. You're so quick to
trying to get out of here, and so without just
without going on for too long. I guess my biggest
thing is and I'm just gonna say this, and this
is gonna be my no. Ma'm, pam, no ma'am to
anybody who is doing a job that feels like they
can't give their best at their job. If you hate

(54:53):
your job, if you hate the people that are coming
into your job, specifically, if you are in like if
you're in the medical field and you're treating people like shit,
I don't care what the pandemic. I don't care what
happened to you during the pandemic. I get it, we
all went through it. But when it comes down to
me and my health, especially since I'm paying a copay

(55:13):
and on top of that, I'm having to pay all
of these different things to make sure I have coverage,
like we gotta do better, we gotta do better, sis.
And it's not just this is not again, I'm not
pointing specifically at Kaiser. I'm talking about everybody who's in
the medical industry. If you hate your job, if COVID
has pushed you to hate your job, quit find something else.

(55:38):
Because I know a lot of educators who have left
the field. I can't teach kids anymore because I'm not
happy here, so let me go find something else, Okay,
And again, I know it's not so easy to do,
but I'm just saying like that, that's my no, ma'am.
Anybody who was staying in a job where they know
they're not happy and are making clients or people who
need a service from said job miserable because you are miserable.

(56:01):
That's where I'm at.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
And it's so real, Like I totally hear you on
that that. I mean, it's a great ko chika.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
The healthcare system in general, like the healthcare system all
around the US is and I have often been in
an nutricious system, and it's so weird because like when
you get you get bad care, You're like this is
typical when you get good kill like I'm gonna have
good care and like you I know, I was like,
right as you got better. And I had twelve days
of this, like the most exclusion story through in my life.

(56:29):
And I had went to urgent care and they would
just like here some cost every girl. And I was
like that guy, and then and then and then and
then a week later, I'm like, okay, well now I'm
coughing and dry heaving for no reason, like I'm throwing
like I'm not throwing up out of them, like I'm
just dry heaving every two hours, and like and like
and you know, it's it's like it's like it's it's
like a like I gave up like Russian Roulette, when

(56:50):
you when you go to a clue, it's.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
Because you have no who you get.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
And the thing the doctor I had last time was like,
you have bronkotis, here's some ambiotics.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
And in three days, bitch I.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Was the only person I said, Oh my god, yeah,
I truly, I truly thought. I was like, I will
never know what it feels like wallow again without pain.
It was like to go one night without coughing. I
was like to sleep a full night without waking up
four times, and like, wow, you know three days and
obviously like y'all if you even feel better, if you
feel better in two.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
Days, take your ambioce intake.

Speaker 3 (57:24):
But like I was, like, bitch, I am back by
popular demand, So you know, I totally feel you on
that healthcare system is flowed in so many ways and
people don't get the care that people don't get the
care that they need.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
And to the point about dogs not listening to you,
like people die. People die because.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
They're not listening to buy their healthcare professionals, and that
is really really messed up. So yeah, I hear you
and feel you on that. Oh I'm gonna take a
quick breath for that, because that is like really real ship.
If anyone can help our healthcare system get better and
let us know, I'm gonna say my yes, ma'am.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Pam is gonna go as so a gen name.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
By the time it comes out, it will be a
week two weeks past the oscars, and I will all
a lot of thoughts as well, but I will say
I will give it yes, me and Pam to the
Daniels except in speech or bet for for best, for
best directors.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
Everything can ask are they a couple?

Speaker 2 (58:21):
No they're not. No, No, they're not.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Okay, I.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Hoped I had, well, I hope that.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
I hope that they know Palm was queer and like
like like could very well be queer as well as
they could be queer as well.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
I was just wondering because when everyone's been they.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Could be cheers. Well.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
But yeah, but and so I don't but the the
white one, I don't think his name is Daniel.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
So I'm like, where the Daniels.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
I mean, I don't get it, but whatever, but I'll
all have to say, like there was a team live laugh,
love them. I love them both. They you know, they
create a great film. So and I will give them
for sure that and everything.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
I will everything.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
All of us got mad Awards and so the simple
in their in their award speech, the I'll say, why
Daniel his simple comment about drag not hurting anybody were
to Tennessee and all the other states, and I just
have to say yes because and they said that, because
it was how doing that got them into film and

(59:20):
how it got.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Them to this point.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
Like I think they said something around to I think
like to their families or to their educators, like who
who who let them make horror things and dressed up
in dragged to make them feel that they're creative, and how.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Dragons are anybody?

Speaker 3 (59:33):
That was so so simple but powerful and effective in
my opinion.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
And then Daniel Kwan.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
His speech about immigration and how that was to protect
this particular film and like how that is his own
story as well as dreams like and dreams.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Immigrants and immigrant families and migrant families were just so
so so powerful.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
It was just such a beautifully, truly beautiful speech. Like
I really enjoyed their speech. I really enjoyed Michelley's speech.
I really enjoyed. Oh I forgot his name, but the
but the leading mal after in that film as well
for his name, but I love him so much. But
both and all this speeches spoke on the immigrant experience
I think is still special because you don't hear that
a lot, so ues Mampam to that huge, huge, you know, yes,

(01:00:14):
mem Pam, for the first time that the Asian experience
has really one in this way. The Asian making experience
is one in this way in the show like this,
So don't thankful, I say that while also holding that
progress could look so different as well than when it
has been, and I really hope it continues to change
in a faster ray in which it has. My now, man,
Pam is just to the silicon that we bank, buy out, bail,

(01:00:39):
whatever the fuck it's called, and our banking system as
a whole, like healthcare, banking system is flawed. I'm not
an economist, so someone please fel free to correct me
and give me some clarity. But to my's sending into
our government still debating the debt seating the debt ceiling crisis,
like is.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
It right now?

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Progress?

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
And Congress debating however to raise our debt ceiling, and
we're work will be do we have the time or
the money to buil out these banks that have done
nothing but like nothing but contribute to gentrification, to loss
of jobs, to like to create tech, just create gig
workers that then don't have access to health care.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
Like why are we bailing people out.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
And also not paying off of and like if you
don't cancel, if y'all say that shit, then at least
cancel our student debt, like do something how money to
guarantee deposits for people, but nobody to supports social services.
It just makes it makes sense, and so so nomn
pam to Silicon Valley. I I I won't say, I
will never say I take pleasure or joy and seeing things.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
Crumble, but I definitely don't feel sadness for seeing things
crumble like this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
So live, laugh, love that for you, good luck, And
I really hope that if if y'all get saved, we saved,
we cancel sit in debt you all the things as well?
Or just some say that because they like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
Just need my money back, My little two hundred thousand
dollars is not go do nothing for what trillions of
dollars wearing debt?

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Girl, let it go just or just canceling them together,
like Verius say, just cancel money, because clearly it's like,
clearly is fiction, Like clearly it's not real if we
are talking about about begging and basically jet ceiling that
we already have borrowed too much and we're million like
does not exist.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
But like who am I?

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Who am I besides besides the bitch who just says
that ship on the shelf, that's fine, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
I agree what you say is valid. Girl, cancel it all,
cancel everything, honey, cancel all debt.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
I don't love cancel culture, but cancel that death.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
You're right right, yes, support me, bitch, yes, support me
in cancel these loans. Lord Jesus, we would that. Being said,
this has been another another amazing conversation and episode. For
those of you who enjoy what we all have to say,
please send us your thoughts, feedback and email to blackfatfempot

(01:02:56):
at gmail dot com. You can also send us your
thoughts via social media by interacting with our post on
Instagram and Twitter by using the handle black Fat fem Pod.
And for those of you who are who listen who
don't really ever listen to the end of the show,
you can. For those of you who are like, oh,
I go now you able to catch it or I
didn't get it, It's in the actual description botch. I'm

(01:03:17):
just gonna keep saying that everything to reach us is
in the description box. And also, if you want to
send us a message on social media and you're like,
I'm not gonna sit down and send an email, but
I'll shoot you a message on social media, we read
those two, so please feel free to do that. Queen Joho,
where can the dolls find you?

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Are usual friends and fam and lovers. You can find
me at Joho Danel's.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Across social media, or you can find me talking father
time and asking him why he chose twenty twenty three,
this beautiful year to move so fast, because how in
the hell is already almost April? I don't understand. Also
ask him why did he or why did why did
anyone the US event the night saving this time? I
am tied as hell my body and ain't we just

(01:04:00):
found out we sent out from from from our good
friend of the show, doctor James, the more people twenty
five percent chance of heart attacks and during the Monday
thought like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Why do you want to kill us? So Backley, it's
not worth that. I don't understand. BB girls so all
the time get together and government as well.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Random question, did you have you watched this past week's
drag race?

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
You know it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Okay? I just wanted to make sure before I so
when so spoiler alert, we are going to be talking
about the who were in the bottom two. But when
Akiria was dancing against Marcia, and remember when Marcia attucked Nira,
sorry remember when she touched and she said, well yeah,
everybody said that was time going was a Nietzsra ducking

(01:04:52):
over Marcia so also that lip sync was should have
been a double chante. I truly have.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
For saving a white girl like this, but I was
like they both.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
Be literally literally truly, God, Marsha save her.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
Annitra did needed to be. Let mean, okay, I'm gonna
just I'm gonna take a moment to just say this
real quick and then we gotta wrap up. If you
are going to lip sync, that is how you do
a lips That is how you go out. You go
out like I'm I'll never go up for a white

(01:05:30):
queen like that. But Marcia ate down that entire performance,
that not one crumb. If you are going to fight
to save your life on a show, that is how
you do it. That is how you do literally how.

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
That is how you do a lip sync. I was
so pleased, kid you not if they if they bring
her back next week, it will be well deserved to
bring her back, truly, because she fought for her life
on that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Stage and.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Paid her dust. But anyway, I'm off my route. Paul
drag Race soaf. But anyway, all that to be said,
you can catch me down to the rallies. Girl, girl.
They just opened the Rallies two blocks away from me. Yea,
I have never been so really really yeah, this weekend,
I think that's gonna be one of the places I
slide through. So this week I'm gonna go down to

(01:06:29):
the Rallies. Hopefully I feel a little bit better. I've
been really trying to limit how much like junk I
take in as I'm trying to get better, especially being
that I have not been home for like I've only
probably been home. But it's we're halfway through the month.
I've probably only been home for like four days out
of the month, and so I'm really trying to like
be mindful about how much junk I put into my body.

(01:06:50):
With all that being said, though, I might tip down
tip tip tip on hard room floors down to the
Rallies to try and to check out and see what
they have. But anyway, and if there's anything also that
y'all think I should try when I go down to Rallies,
you can let a girl know on the social media's anyway,
all that to be said, you can also follow me
at doctor John Paul and you can visit my website

(01:07:11):
at ww dot doctor John Paul dot com. We want
to thank our supervising producers Rebecca Ramos and Bei Wang,
and our executive super producer Anna Hasnia. We would also
love to give a special shout out again to everyone
who helped make Outspoken happen, specifically Jay Brunson and Roquel Willis.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
We love y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:07:30):
We would like to also shout out our wonderful editor
Chris Rodgers, who just had something amazing happened to them.
We might talk a little bit about it, nay, but
I'm sae Chris. You let us know if we can
talk about it next episode. I don't want to put
all your business out on Frustrat, but anyway, I'm just
so proud of you, and I know that we talked

(01:07:50):
about it last week, but I just want to make
sure that we know that we celebrating you again. Is
here because you officially so last week. You got the call,
but you fually start. I want to make that clear.
You officially started this week, and so I want to
make sure that I'm saying congratulations on your new journey
and all of that. Anyway, we love you and we're

(01:08:10):
proud of you and thank you for all of the
amazing work you do. On this show. This has been
another show. Thank you all for listening and remember just
because they aren't clapping doesn't mean they watch it. I
love us for real. You have a nice one. Love you,
bye bye