August 9, 2022 • 32 mins
Michelle is using her personal experience from this weekend to talk to her fellow creatives. Sometimes we lose the motivation to do the things we love - that can be a sign of depression. Get yourself the help you need to live! CHECK IN to this episode for a loving push to keep working towards your dreams!
To read the full article by Dr. Gonzalo Ramirez that Michelle references in this episode, visit: https://www.tuasaude.com/en/depression-symptoms/
Make sure you’re following Michelle on social media!
Instagram: @MichelleWilliams
Twitter: @RealMichelleW
Still haven’t read Checking In? To order the book and/or the journal, visit: https://www.thomasnelson.com/p/checking-in/
Tickets are now on sale for the FIRST ever Black Effect Podcast Festival happening on August 28th in Brooklyn, NY! Come check us out with The 85 South Show, All the Smoke, and more of your favorite Black Effect Podcast hosts. Get your tickets today at BlackEffect.com\PodcastFestival
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
My Heart Radio and The Black Effect. Hey, everybody, welcome
to another episode of Checking In. I am your host,
(00:24):
Michelle Williams. It's always good to be able to check
in with you guys week after week. You guys keep
blowing our minds with listening and downloading the episodes. So
I'm really kind of excited about this week's episode. It
is another solo episode which I just get to share
from the heart and talk with you guys. It's been
(00:47):
a wonderful summer. I can't wait for y'all to see
what has been going on. Um. I've been working on
a lot of stuff personally and a lot of things
for the brand of Michelle Williams. So I'm just excited
that you guys continue to rock with me week after
week showing your love and support. Today's episode is exciting.
(01:11):
I am recording in a very very very very special place.
Just excited. So this past weekend, I had the opportunity
to be in New York City where we were celebrating
Beyonce's number one album Renaissance, and y'all are probably have
(01:33):
already seen pictures. Now let me tell you something, The
only person that don't really have to abide by the
no phone policy is miss Tina. Okay, so I know
I left my phone upstairs in my room purposely because
I was like, you know what, I just want to
just enjoy, because what happens is when I take my
(01:53):
phone with me places, I'm tempted to learn, I'm tempted
to look at stuff, or I'm tempted to fish up
a business email at the most inappropriate time. So Friday night,
I said, no, leave your phone, just take your key
and just go on and have a good time. And
a good time was had by all. The album played
(02:18):
hours and hours straight. I was excited because Course Love
said something to me. He was like, Yo, this is
probably like the first time I've ever heard an entire
album play in a club and it not feel weird.
Everybody now my I literally had on some ungodly height hell,
(02:41):
so I couldn't release my wiggle as much as I
wanted to because I didn't want no more one O
six and park situations out on that floor. But it
was so good to see everybody celebrating and yes, this
is my second week kind of talking all things Renaissance
but it was wonderful. Got a chance to also go
(03:02):
to see Kendrick Lamar in concert, and if you have
not gone to see his tour, please make sure you
go and see the show. I posted something in my
story is about how beautiful the staging was, but at
the same time, it was minimal. He is a true artist,
(03:22):
absolutely absolutely amazing, and it takes someone super confident to
be able to kind of command the entire stage alone. Yes,
he has dancers. The band is kind of in a pit,
so really all you see is Kendrick Lamar. And normally
you're used to seeing a lot of action on stage,
(03:43):
which is fine because that every artist has their thing.
But it was cool to see his show be so theatrical.
It was dope, and the type of movements that they
were doing. I said, oh, that's my speed. I'm applied
to be one of his dancers one day. I'm just playing.
But it was so, so, so, so cool. And then
(04:04):
I had to go see his show again at the
Ubs Arena in Long Island, so the first night was
ever Arclays. Then we had it to actually Dumble House
in Brooklyn. He did an amazing intimate set of just
him and it's like three musicians for like, maybe I
don't know a hundred hundred fifty people, So that was
kind of cool. It inspired me in a different way.
(04:27):
It didn't necessarily inspire me to go on the studio
and make music, but it inspired me to remain creative.
And I will always love music. I am gonna be
forever a consumer of music. But I do keep little
things in the back of my mind for the time
in which I do decide, you know what, let me
(04:48):
put down the podcast mike and actually pick up a
mike for singing, a mic for vocals, and we will see.
But I will say this weekend reminded me to keep
my creative juices from going. I was so inspired in
so many different ways to see so many people that
I love, so many people that admire. I got to
see Cynthia Revo, Janelle Monne, Tyler Perry, who's absolutely amazing
(05:15):
and hilarious. So just being in a mixture of people
from all genres of creativity, whether you're a filmmaker and
artist and actor or producer director. So good to have
a weekend surrounded by so many other creatives. And I
also want to dedicate this show to someone listening right now.
(05:40):
You were once creative. You were an artist, an artist
as in like a painter. Maybe you were an artist
as a singer of rock music, jazz, R and B gospel.
Maybe you were a chef. Chefs are creative. Maybe you
were a baker. Maybe you were an amazing classically trained dancer.
(06:04):
And something happened, something I guess, took away your creativity.
Whether it was some type of loss, maybe a relationship loss,
or something traumatic possibly happened and you just lost everything
in you to be creative. So I was wondering. I said, listen,
(06:26):
I have well produced shows, and this time I said no,
let me dedicate this show to creatives, honor you, let
you know that you're loved, and to encourage you to
get back out there and to do what you were
born to do. And one of the main reasons why
(06:48):
a person can lose their creativity is depression. So I
want to talk about the eleven depression signs and symptoms,
and these are things that you should not ignore. Those
of us that are creative. There are those who can
take their energy and sometimes even in a state of depression,
(07:12):
and use it and push through. And then there are
sometimes there are some of us where it just takes
the wind out of you. So y'all already know that
my podcast was founded on mental health. The history of
Checking In was based off of my book Checking In,
and it was also to honor but at the same
time take the power back in the moment where I
(07:34):
did have to check into a treatment facility July eighteenth
or nineteen of two thousand eighteen, it was it's August,
and wow, I didn't even realize, you know, the past
couple of years, I kind of knew when that time
was coming, but life has taken an amazing turn. But anyway,
(07:57):
that could be another episode of how you could have
an event in your life that changes your life and
then when you do the healing work, you almost you
almost forget what happened. And I think that's what's taking
place with me because of the work that's been done.
But I want to talk about creatives and depression. So
I'm reading something online by Dr Gonzala Ramirez, who is
(08:22):
a general practitioner and psychologist. This is a fresh medical review,
it's a fresh article. It just came out this month,
and so I want to talk about the eleven signs
and symptoms because those of us that are creative. I
want you to notice these signs and symptoms so that
you can possibly get ahead of it. I know I do,
(08:46):
like I am already anticipating that dreaded month of October
ish November. I get sad when summer ends, but maybe
around October November, maybe I should be someplace still warm.
For some reason, those months, my energy or mood can
(09:07):
get low. So I'm already ahead of it. I already know,
And it's actually a term for it. It is called
s a D. Seasonal effective disorder is a type of
depression that's related to changes in seasons. S a D
begins and ends at about the same time every year.
(09:29):
If you're like most people with s a D, your
symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months,
sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Now, before
I became really intentional on my mental health journey, I
did kind of notice. I was like, man, why is
it like around October November I get sad? Or this
(09:52):
is at the time when I was living in Illinois
and around that time, Yes, it's the fall, and there
are sometimes the trees can look very beautiful, the leaves
have fallen or the leaves have turned color. But then
there's a certain time where that fall kind of turns
into winter and it's gray outside, it's drabby, it's cloudy,
(10:13):
it's cold. Oh. I don't like the cold. Even being
born in Illinois, I am not a winter girl at all. Now.
If the sun is shining and it's cold out, I
can take that. But when it's cloudy out and it's cold,
it's like, man, pick a struggle. It's cloudy and cold again.
(10:37):
I want to go through some signs and symptoms of depression.
I'll never forget when I first started noticing signs and
symptoms of depression. We traced it back to when I
was in the seventh grade. I did not get a
diagnosis of depression until I was in my thirties. So
I went from let's say you're like eleven or twelve
(10:57):
in the seventh grade. So I went all of those years,
eighteen plus years, probably twenty plus years of coping with depression.
Can you live with depression, you absolutely can. Can you
go on and have a great career and have depression,
you absolutely can't. I'm raising my hand because I am
a person who has lived with depression. I have been
(11:18):
blessed with a great career and have had depression. It
was not until I became more intentional all my mental
health journey that I had been able to get in
front of it and really really really like not feel
severe symptoms of depression for the past three years. Does
(11:41):
life happen? Yes? Do people try me occasionally, But I've
curated such a life of peace that I don't even
let it like end. I don't let chaos. I have boundaries.
Speaking of boundaries, there was this amazing poet by black
female therapists that says, my boundaries are non negotiable, and
(12:06):
I will no longer feel bad for those that are
angered by me honoring them. I will be clear about
my capacity and will not waiver on my decision due
to someone being displeased. I make peace that everyone will
not understand my reasoning, and that's okay. So when I
say I curate a life of peace, it's mostly because
(12:26):
I've drawn a line in the sand. I've drawn a
line in the sand of what I listened to. I've
drawn a line in the sand of people dumping on
me all of their problems and issues. Now, do I
want somebody that I can talk to. Yes, Should I
be a safe person for somebody to also to talk to. Absolutely,
But you gotta draw a line where you're like, Okay,
(12:49):
I can hear you out, but maybe you should talk
to somebody qualified, like a therapist, especially if it is
the same issue over and over and over again in
because obviously what I'm saying in return to you does
not help. I can be listening ear, but at the
same time, I want you to overcome this thing that
has you so consumed, and the therapist can help you
(13:12):
process it. I think a lot of us talk about
the same thing over and over and over again because
we're stuck there and we don't know how to get
out of it. So when I say I've curated a
life of peace, because I have definitely enforced the boundaries,
and it can seem I don't even want to say lonely,
but it can seem like a boring life because I
(13:34):
don't know all the tea that be going on, and
I don't have tea to share it with nobody, because
that's just not how I live. I I just don't
live a life consumed with drama. I just know where
I come from emotionally and mentally, and I don't want
to go back. I don't want to go back. And
you are not a dumpster. So don't let anybody continuously
(13:57):
emotionally dump trash on you or in you, especially those
of us that are like sponges, and we're so empathetic
because we find ourselves wanting to help and help with
the solution to everybody's problems, and that can be kind
of draining. I'm not saying don't be a friend, and
I'm not saying don't be a safe person, because that
(14:18):
speaks so well of you for someone to feel like, no,
I can talk to you about my problems and you're
gonna listen and you're gonna be there. So I'm not
saying don't do that. But you always got that one
or two persons where you're like, man, dude, man, we've
been talking about this for two years. Man, we've been
talking about this for eight years. I'm tired, ain't you? Okay?
(14:38):
Back to the eleven depression signs and symptoms, So I'm
just gonna read some of this. It says the main
symptoms that characterize the beginning of depression are constant fatigue,
lack of energy, and lack of motivation to partaking activities
that were once pleasurable. Like I said, this episode is
dedicated to my creatives who have lost motivation and you
(15:02):
no longer partaking activities that were once pleasurable. This is
an emotional issue. This isn't for people who have decided
to say, you know what, this doesn't work for me,
I'm gonna go on another path. This is for the
creative who's probably listening to this episode now, who cannot
get out of the bed, or who just you're so
afraid to walk out of your house and walk down
(15:24):
the street to the park and get some fresh air.
This is for you. These symptoms may be mild in
the beginning, but can worsen over time and eventually affect mood,
ability to work, and the ability to maintain relationships. Now,
I wasn't worried about ability to maintain relationships back in
(15:46):
the seventh grade when I kind of noticed some symptoms,
but definitely the constant fatigue I remember allways sleeping and
at that time, the word depression wasn't even in my
word bank It's not even and something that I thought
about at the seventh grade and back at that time,
mental health wasn't talked about. And if it was talked about,
(16:07):
if mental illness was talked about, it was talked about
in such a negative way, or they made you feel
like anybody that was depressed was in a straight jacket
or was walking around twitching. And it is not that
I was looking at something the other day where Jay
Barnett and how we talked about the depression does not
have a look. He does not have a specific look.
(16:31):
It is something internal. But yes, mood can be affected
ability to work, an ability to maintain relationships. People that
are depressed have anxiety, even bi polar anybody also that
deals with rejection. Your ability to maintain relationships has to
be intentional and it needs some work. But the great
(16:53):
thing about depression is that it is treatable with the
right diagnosis and with treatment. Treatment can be taking an antidepressant.
Don't let anybody make you feel bad for having to
take medicine for depression and our anxiety. If I have
a headache, I'm gonna take possibly some I view profit.
(17:16):
It depends on how bad the headache is. Sometimes I
try to sleep it out because I really don't like
taking medicine, But if I have to, I will, so
I want to tell somebody if you have to go
forward or you might find other holistic ways to treat depression,
to me therapy, changing certain things in diet. They have
(17:39):
linked our gut health with our mental health. Yes, there
are certain foods that you eat that contribute to your
depression and or anxiety. The most common signs and symptoms
of depression include okay, here we go Number one, a
feeling of emptiness or sadness. Feeling empty or sad can
(18:02):
sometimes be physically visible, and a person can appear to
have like sunken, listless eyes and a curved or hunch posture. Now,
remember I said depression does not have a look. For
the majority, it does not, But I understand what they're
saying that it sometimes can be physically visible sometimes, and
(18:23):
I'm glad they have the words sometimes in there. Those
effective with depression will often have crying spells or cry
very easily. Will often have feelings of pessimism, blame, and
low self esteem. Number two a reduced interest in activities
that you used to enjoy. This is one of the
main signs of depression. It is normally present right at
(18:44):
the beginning of this disorder and can worsen as depression develops.
So for that creative you no longer have interest in
playing that instrument. You no longer have interest in singing anymore,
You no longer have interest in baking, You no longer
have interest in like painting, And people often explain that
(19:07):
they simply don't feel like it. Number three lack of
energy and constant fatigue. We know what that is. You
just want to sleep and I will never forget back.
In like two thousand twelve ish, I think I just
remember needing to sleep for like two weeks straight. And
(19:28):
what happens is, as I'm reading this, a lack of
energy and constant fatigue impedes a person's ability to perform
activities of daily living, such as personal hygiene. Like I
just remember wanting to just all I could do was
just to get up and go to the bathroom. I
felt like that took all my energy just to get
up and go to the bathroom. But lots of times
(19:50):
when you are depressed and that you use yourself fatigue.
You don't want to shower, you don't want to eat,
you lose weight. Oh mm hmmm. It's often a sign
of the rression and the additional lack of motivation to
perform these activities may mean the depression is worsening. Severe depression.
Irritability is a sign and symptom a number five pain
(20:12):
and other physical changes. Number six a sleep disorder. Some
people with depression you have trouble sleeping, which means you
wake up early in the morning, around three or four AM,
and you're unable to fall asleep again until at least
ten am. This contributes to the fatigue experience because it
messes with your sleep cycle. Now let me tell you something.
(20:34):
I have found that CBD oil works for me. I
love the many, many medicinal benefits of CBD oil. It
takes away inflammation, It calms, it relaxes. It is a
beautiful thing. Make sure that it's real. Everybody got CBD oil, No,
(20:54):
but just make sure that it comes from a real, real,
real place, a real place. Loss of appetite is a
symptom lack of concentration. Thoughts of death and suicide A
combination of all depression symptoms can lead a person to
have thoughts of death and suicide. As many of the symptoms,
(21:14):
experience can lead someone to think that there is no
reason to live, and a depressed person may rationalize that
death is a solution to escaping the situation they are in.
Sometimes a person doesn't want to necessarily escape, like actual
living life. Sometimes you feel like you just want to
(21:34):
escape the hurt, the pain, the neglect, the rejection, the abandonment,
the loss after loss after loss after loss after loss.
And sometimes you can think, well, why am I here?
I'm experiencing all this pain? Why am I here? That
(21:57):
just saddens me. As far as you know the thoughts
of death and suicide, I have certainly been there, and
you're like, why you have it all together? You've got
everything you need. So my heart goes out. I just
be wanting to shout with a bullhorn to somebody, no,
live live. I'm telling you. I'm telling you you curate
(22:19):
a life of peace. Do the work, take medication if
you have to, whatever it is you have to do.
Ah live Live. Another symptom of depression is alcohol and
drug abuse. Now, it does not occur to all people
(22:39):
with depression, but it is important to be alert to
any rapid change in a person's personality that could indicate
signs of addiction. Look out for the person that's like,
I don't need rehab I don't need therapy. That's the
person that needs it, especially if you're noticing changes in
the person now, city like they're being more obnoxious or
(23:03):
more angry. Just an interruption, and they'll walk into an
event and just embarrass themselves and you're like, wait a minute,
what's going on a lot of the route to addiction
is someone going through something, and so you use the
drugs or the alcohol or the heck, you might gamble,
you might get really really really promiscuous because you're trying
(23:27):
to do anything to cope with the pain. Mostly a
route of addiction is pain. Slow thinking is another signing
symptom of depression. Depression can and at times interfere with
psychomotor processing, which can range from agitation to slowness. This
(23:47):
can affect thoughts, movements, and even speech, causing the person
to respond with short answers, or on the contrary, to
speak very rapidly with twitching in the hands and legs.
Now they have a cool depression symptom checker. Now, don't
be like me. There are times I've googled signs and
symptoms of something, and there are a few times stuff
(24:10):
I have you during your near death and be like wait,
is just a paper cut. But let's confirm some symptoms below.
So yes or no? Do you feel happy when you
watch TV or read a book? Yes or no? Are
you excited about good things that are coming your way?
Yes or no? How you look is important? What about?
(24:34):
Do you feel like your mind is sharp? Yes or no?
Are there moments throughout your day that bring you happiness?
Can you laugh spontaneously and have fun? Yes or no?
Do you like to keep up with your old hobbies?
So let me do that. Let me see I feel
happy when I watched you and say, yes, I'm excited
about good things coming by a way. Yes. How I
(24:56):
look as important to me? Yes, but it's not like
don't have to be like face beat, hair professionally done.
Every time I go out, I feel like my mind
is sharp. There are moments throughout my day that bring
me happiness. Now, So, if you're feeling a little blue
or worried today, this is suggesting that you should engage
(25:18):
and lead your activities like going out with your friends,
do some yoga, listen to music, meditate, exercise. Another great
way to feel better drink tea camel mill passion flower. Okay,
it is important to highlight that a depression diagnosis can
only be confirmed by a psychologist and or psychiatrist following
(25:43):
a thorough assessment that evaluates your symptoms, lifestyle habits, healthy history,
and family history. Wow. I remember back in eighteen after
I was released from the treatment facility for depression, how
thorough the psychiatry was. And I promise you, guys, I'm
(26:04):
sharing this because I don't want you to have any shame.
If you feel like you know what, I probably should
go to a doctor. I probably should go and see
what's going on. I probably should enlist the help of counseling.
There are so so many online resources. Like I said,
I read something to you guys today from Black Female Therapist.
(26:27):
If you go to Black Female Therapist dot com, you
can find a therapist. You can go to Psychology Today
dot com. I just want to normalize this discussion. I
just want, like I said, those of you that have
been creative and you feel like you lost your driver.
You feel like you've been doing this for five years
(26:49):
and no one cares. You've been doing this for a
while and knowing is paying attention. You didn't get signed
by the label or your YouTube numbers are low, I'm
tell and you keep going. You know, I'm gonna interview
my manager one day, Jonathan A. Zoo, and he was saying,
how it can take a new artist five years minimum
(27:10):
to break minimum. It can take five years. So yes,
you might have been singing in the clubs and stuff
for five years, but from the time it takes of
the release of an album for it to possibly hit
radio or for folks to really pay attention, that can
really change the trajectory of your career takes five years.
(27:33):
So some people, you're getting discouraged after five months. And
I think what happens is when you look at social
media and you look at where you are, you begin
to compare who you are to where someone else is.
And the saying is true. People ain't showing you their
struggles on social media. You see the good pictures, honey,
you see the touched up pictures. No one is showing
(27:56):
you the sleepless nights, the stress, the reject shin. Creatives
go through so many rejections. Sometimes you will hear one
hundred knows before you hear one yes. But keep going
because that one yes can change your life. I'm telling y'all,
(28:21):
please stay with it. Please, stay encourage and do not
let what somebody else is doing affect what you're doing
and how you should be doing your how it should look. No,
I'm telling you stay with it again Psychology Today dot com.
You can find a therapist there better help as well.
(28:45):
I know the past few episodes, you know, I try
to keep them lights and even in the topics of
mental health. But this episode, there's so much going on.
It just seems like week after week, day after they
were seeing something going on. So I just wanted to
do this episode to have this quick little reminder for
(29:06):
you to just be one step ahead of yourself and
check in on your loved ones or that person close
to you. You notice something is different, you notice something
has changed in them or with them, just check in
on them and be a safe person. And what is
a safe person. A safe person is they might not
admit to you right away that they're feeling depressed. They
(29:29):
might not, but just say okay, or just maybe read
off some of these signs and symptoms and just say hey,
I just kind of noticed a change and you I
just want you to know that I'm here for you.
This is a judgment free zone. If you want me
to go to an appointment with you. I'll go. I'll
even set up the appointment for you, because sometimes you
don't have the energy to pick up the phone and
(29:50):
do anything, so it might just take an angel that
can say, you know what, I'm gonna set up this
appointment for you, I'm gonna go to this first one
with you. And that could not only change someone's life,
it could possibly save their life. I'm thankful for you, guys.
I am thankful for your love and your support. Thank
(30:10):
you for allowing me to be so open. Thank you
all for being my safe place. Thank you for being
a safe person for me to share. I care about
each and every listener. That's why I was able to
do this episode today because I really really, really really
really care. Yes, you see folks smiling. Heck, you see
(30:30):
me smiling. But it's taken me a lot too, and
it's cost me a lot to have a consistent smile,
to be in a constant state of peace. So just
know that I love you. Know that you are absolutely loved. Okay,
(30:51):
all right, take care such Chuchus Tree Checking In with
(32:13):
Michelle Williams is a production of I Heart Radio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts, from I heart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
My Heart Radio and The Black Effect. Hey, everybody, welcome
to another episode of Checking In. I am your host,
(00:24):
Michelle Williams. It's always good to be able to check
in with you guys week after week. You guys keep
blowing our minds with listening and downloading the episodes. So
I'm really kind of excited about this week's episode. It
is another solo episode which I just get to share
from the heart and talk with you guys. It's been
(00:47):
a wonderful summer. I can't wait for y'all to see
what has been going on. Um. I've been working on
a lot of stuff personally and a lot of things
for the brand of Michelle Williams. So I'm just excited
that you guys continue to rock with me week after
week showing your love and support. Today's episode is exciting.
(01:11):
I am recording in a very very very very special place.
Just excited. So this past weekend, I had the opportunity
to be in New York City where we were celebrating
Beyonce's number one album Renaissance, and y'all are probably have
(01:33):
already seen pictures. Now let me tell you something, The
only person that don't really have to abide by the
no phone policy is miss Tina. Okay, so I know
I left my phone upstairs in my room purposely because
I was like, you know what, I just want to
just enjoy, because what happens is when I take my
(01:53):
phone with me places, I'm tempted to learn, I'm tempted
to look at stuff, or I'm tempted to fish up
a business email at the most inappropriate time. So Friday night,
I said, no, leave your phone, just take your key
and just go on and have a good time. And
a good time was had by all. The album played
(02:18):
hours and hours straight. I was excited because Course Love
said something to me. He was like, Yo, this is
probably like the first time I've ever heard an entire
album play in a club and it not feel weird.
Everybody now my I literally had on some ungodly height hell,
(02:41):
so I couldn't release my wiggle as much as I
wanted to because I didn't want no more one O
six and park situations out on that floor. But it
was so good to see everybody celebrating and yes, this
is my second week kind of talking all things Renaissance
but it was wonderful. Got a chance to also go
(03:02):
to see Kendrick Lamar in concert, and if you have
not gone to see his tour, please make sure you
go and see the show. I posted something in my
story is about how beautiful the staging was, but at
the same time, it was minimal. He is a true artist,
(03:22):
absolutely absolutely amazing, and it takes someone super confident to
be able to kind of command the entire stage alone. Yes,
he has dancers. The band is kind of in a pit,
so really all you see is Kendrick Lamar. And normally
you're used to seeing a lot of action on stage,
(03:43):
which is fine because that every artist has their thing.
But it was cool to see his show be so theatrical.
It was dope, and the type of movements that they
were doing. I said, oh, that's my speed. I'm applied
to be one of his dancers one day. I'm just playing.
But it was so, so, so, so cool. And then
(04:04):
I had to go see his show again at the
Ubs Arena in Long Island, so the first night was
ever Arclays. Then we had it to actually Dumble House
in Brooklyn. He did an amazing intimate set of just
him and it's like three musicians for like, maybe I
don't know a hundred hundred fifty people, So that was
kind of cool. It inspired me in a different way.
(04:27):
It didn't necessarily inspire me to go on the studio
and make music, but it inspired me to remain creative.
And I will always love music. I am gonna be
forever a consumer of music. But I do keep little
things in the back of my mind for the time
in which I do decide, you know what, let me
(04:48):
put down the podcast mike and actually pick up a
mike for singing, a mic for vocals, and we will see.
But I will say this weekend reminded me to keep
my creative juices from going. I was so inspired in
so many different ways to see so many people that
I love, so many people that admire. I got to
see Cynthia Revo, Janelle Monne, Tyler Perry, who's absolutely amazing
(05:15):
and hilarious. So just being in a mixture of people
from all genres of creativity, whether you're a filmmaker and
artist and actor or producer director. So good to have
a weekend surrounded by so many other creatives. And I
also want to dedicate this show to someone listening right now.
(05:40):
You were once creative. You were an artist, an artist
as in like a painter. Maybe you were an artist
as a singer of rock music, jazz, R and B gospel.
Maybe you were a chef. Chefs are creative. Maybe you
were a baker. Maybe you were an amazing classically trained dancer.
(06:04):
And something happened, something I guess, took away your creativity.
Whether it was some type of loss, maybe a relationship loss,
or something traumatic possibly happened and you just lost everything
in you to be creative. So I was wondering. I said, listen,
(06:26):
I have well produced shows, and this time I said no,
let me dedicate this show to creatives, honor you, let
you know that you're loved, and to encourage you to
get back out there and to do what you were
born to do. And one of the main reasons why
(06:48):
a person can lose their creativity is depression. So I
want to talk about the eleven depression signs and symptoms,
and these are things that you should not ignore. Those
of us that are creative. There are those who can
take their energy and sometimes even in a state of depression,
(07:12):
and use it and push through. And then there are
sometimes there are some of us where it just takes
the wind out of you. So y'all already know that
my podcast was founded on mental health. The history of
Checking In was based off of my book Checking In,
and it was also to honor but at the same
time take the power back in the moment where I
(07:34):
did have to check into a treatment facility July eighteenth
or nineteen of two thousand eighteen, it was it's August,
and wow, I didn't even realize, you know, the past
couple of years, I kind of knew when that time
was coming, but life has taken an amazing turn. But anyway,
(07:57):
that could be another episode of how you could have
an event in your life that changes your life and
then when you do the healing work, you almost you
almost forget what happened. And I think that's what's taking
place with me because of the work that's been done.
But I want to talk about creatives and depression. So
I'm reading something online by Dr Gonzala Ramirez, who is
(08:22):
a general practitioner and psychologist. This is a fresh medical review,
it's a fresh article. It just came out this month,
and so I want to talk about the eleven signs
and symptoms because those of us that are creative. I
want you to notice these signs and symptoms so that
you can possibly get ahead of it. I know I do,
(08:46):
like I am already anticipating that dreaded month of October
ish November. I get sad when summer ends, but maybe
around October November, maybe I should be someplace still warm.
For some reason, those months, my energy or mood can
(09:07):
get low. So I'm already ahead of it. I already know,
And it's actually a term for it. It is called
s a D. Seasonal effective disorder is a type of
depression that's related to changes in seasons. S a D
begins and ends at about the same time every year.
(09:29):
If you're like most people with s a D, your
symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months,
sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Now, before
I became really intentional on my mental health journey, I
did kind of notice. I was like, man, why is
it like around October November I get sad? Or this
(09:52):
is at the time when I was living in Illinois
and around that time, Yes, it's the fall, and there
are sometimes the trees can look very beautiful, the leaves
have fallen or the leaves have turned color. But then
there's a certain time where that fall kind of turns
into winter and it's gray outside, it's drabby, it's cloudy,
(10:13):
it's cold. Oh. I don't like the cold. Even being
born in Illinois, I am not a winter girl at all. Now.
If the sun is shining and it's cold out, I
can take that. But when it's cloudy out and it's cold,
it's like, man, pick a struggle. It's cloudy and cold again.
(10:37):
I want to go through some signs and symptoms of depression.
I'll never forget when I first started noticing signs and
symptoms of depression. We traced it back to when I
was in the seventh grade. I did not get a
diagnosis of depression until I was in my thirties. So
I went from let's say you're like eleven or twelve
(10:57):
in the seventh grade. So I went all of those years,
eighteen plus years, probably twenty plus years of coping with depression.
Can you live with depression, you absolutely can. Can you
go on and have a great career and have depression,
you absolutely can't. I'm raising my hand because I am
a person who has lived with depression. I have been
(11:18):
blessed with a great career and have had depression. It
was not until I became more intentional all my mental
health journey that I had been able to get in
front of it and really really really like not feel
severe symptoms of depression for the past three years. Does
(11:41):
life happen? Yes? Do people try me occasionally, But I've
curated such a life of peace that I don't even
let it like end. I don't let chaos. I have boundaries.
Speaking of boundaries, there was this amazing poet by black
female therapists that says, my boundaries are non negotiable, and
(12:06):
I will no longer feel bad for those that are
angered by me honoring them. I will be clear about
my capacity and will not waiver on my decision due
to someone being displeased. I make peace that everyone will
not understand my reasoning, and that's okay. So when I
say I curate a life of peace, it's mostly because
(12:26):
I've drawn a line in the sand. I've drawn a
line in the sand of what I listened to. I've
drawn a line in the sand of people dumping on
me all of their problems and issues. Now, do I
want somebody that I can talk to. Yes, Should I
be a safe person for somebody to also to talk to. Absolutely,
But you gotta draw a line where you're like, Okay,
(12:49):
I can hear you out, but maybe you should talk
to somebody qualified, like a therapist, especially if it is
the same issue over and over and over again in
because obviously what I'm saying in return to you does
not help. I can be listening ear, but at the
same time, I want you to overcome this thing that
has you so consumed, and the therapist can help you
(13:12):
process it. I think a lot of us talk about
the same thing over and over and over again because
we're stuck there and we don't know how to get
out of it. So when I say I've curated a
life of peace, because I have definitely enforced the boundaries,
and it can seem I don't even want to say lonely,
but it can seem like a boring life because I
(13:34):
don't know all the tea that be going on, and
I don't have tea to share it with nobody, because
that's just not how I live. I I just don't
live a life consumed with drama. I just know where
I come from emotionally and mentally, and I don't want
to go back. I don't want to go back. And
you are not a dumpster. So don't let anybody continuously
(13:57):
emotionally dump trash on you or in you, especially those
of us that are like sponges, and we're so empathetic
because we find ourselves wanting to help and help with
the solution to everybody's problems, and that can be kind
of draining. I'm not saying don't be a friend, and
I'm not saying don't be a safe person, because that
(14:18):
speaks so well of you for someone to feel like, no,
I can talk to you about my problems and you're
gonna listen and you're gonna be there. So I'm not
saying don't do that. But you always got that one
or two persons where you're like, man, dude, man, we've
been talking about this for two years. Man, we've been
talking about this for eight years. I'm tired, ain't you? Okay?
(14:38):
Back to the eleven depression signs and symptoms, So I'm
just gonna read some of this. It says the main
symptoms that characterize the beginning of depression are constant fatigue,
lack of energy, and lack of motivation to partaking activities
that were once pleasurable. Like I said, this episode is
dedicated to my creatives who have lost motivation and you
(15:02):
no longer partaking activities that were once pleasurable. This is
an emotional issue. This isn't for people who have decided
to say, you know what, this doesn't work for me,
I'm gonna go on another path. This is for the
creative who's probably listening to this episode now, who cannot
get out of the bed, or who just you're so
afraid to walk out of your house and walk down
(15:24):
the street to the park and get some fresh air.
This is for you. These symptoms may be mild in
the beginning, but can worsen over time and eventually affect mood,
ability to work, and the ability to maintain relationships. Now,
I wasn't worried about ability to maintain relationships back in
(15:46):
the seventh grade when I kind of noticed some symptoms,
but definitely the constant fatigue I remember allways sleeping and
at that time, the word depression wasn't even in my
word bank It's not even and something that I thought
about at the seventh grade and back at that time,
mental health wasn't talked about. And if it was talked about,
(16:07):
if mental illness was talked about, it was talked about
in such a negative way, or they made you feel
like anybody that was depressed was in a straight jacket
or was walking around twitching. And it is not that
I was looking at something the other day where Jay
Barnett and how we talked about the depression does not
have a look. He does not have a specific look.
(16:31):
It is something internal. But yes, mood can be affected
ability to work, an ability to maintain relationships. People that
are depressed have anxiety, even bi polar anybody also that
deals with rejection. Your ability to maintain relationships has to
be intentional and it needs some work. But the great
(16:53):
thing about depression is that it is treatable with the
right diagnosis and with treatment. Treatment can be taking an antidepressant.
Don't let anybody make you feel bad for having to
take medicine for depression and our anxiety. If I have
a headache, I'm gonna take possibly some I view profit.
(17:16):
It depends on how bad the headache is. Sometimes I
try to sleep it out because I really don't like
taking medicine, But if I have to, I will, so
I want to tell somebody if you have to go
forward or you might find other holistic ways to treat depression,
to me therapy, changing certain things in diet. They have
(17:39):
linked our gut health with our mental health. Yes, there
are certain foods that you eat that contribute to your
depression and or anxiety. The most common signs and symptoms
of depression include okay, here we go Number one, a
feeling of emptiness or sadness. Feeling empty or sad can
(18:02):
sometimes be physically visible, and a person can appear to
have like sunken, listless eyes and a curved or hunch posture. Now,
remember I said depression does not have a look. For
the majority, it does not, But I understand what they're
saying that it sometimes can be physically visible sometimes, and
(18:23):
I'm glad they have the words sometimes in there. Those
effective with depression will often have crying spells or cry
very easily. Will often have feelings of pessimism, blame, and
low self esteem. Number two a reduced interest in activities
that you used to enjoy. This is one of the
main signs of depression. It is normally present right at
(18:44):
the beginning of this disorder and can worsen as depression develops.
So for that creative you no longer have interest in
playing that instrument. You no longer have interest in singing anymore,
You no longer have interest in baking, You no longer
have interest in like painting, And people often explain that
(19:07):
they simply don't feel like it. Number three lack of
energy and constant fatigue. We know what that is. You
just want to sleep and I will never forget back.
In like two thousand twelve ish, I think I just
remember needing to sleep for like two weeks straight. And
(19:28):
what happens is, as I'm reading this, a lack of
energy and constant fatigue impedes a person's ability to perform
activities of daily living, such as personal hygiene. Like I
just remember wanting to just all I could do was
just to get up and go to the bathroom. I
felt like that took all my energy just to get
up and go to the bathroom. But lots of times
(19:50):
when you are depressed and that you use yourself fatigue.
You don't want to shower, you don't want to eat,
you lose weight. Oh mm hmmm. It's often a sign
of the rression and the additional lack of motivation to
perform these activities may mean the depression is worsening. Severe depression.
Irritability is a sign and symptom a number five pain
(20:12):
and other physical changes. Number six a sleep disorder. Some
people with depression you have trouble sleeping, which means you
wake up early in the morning, around three or four AM,
and you're unable to fall asleep again until at least
ten am. This contributes to the fatigue experience because it
messes with your sleep cycle. Now let me tell you something.
(20:34):
I have found that CBD oil works for me. I
love the many, many medicinal benefits of CBD oil. It
takes away inflammation, It calms, it relaxes. It is a
beautiful thing. Make sure that it's real. Everybody got CBD oil, No,
(20:54):
but just make sure that it comes from a real, real,
real place, a real place. Loss of appetite is a
symptom lack of concentration. Thoughts of death and suicide A
combination of all depression symptoms can lead a person to
have thoughts of death and suicide. As many of the symptoms,
(21:14):
experience can lead someone to think that there is no
reason to live, and a depressed person may rationalize that
death is a solution to escaping the situation they are in.
Sometimes a person doesn't want to necessarily escape, like actual
living life. Sometimes you feel like you just want to
(21:34):
escape the hurt, the pain, the neglect, the rejection, the abandonment,
the loss after loss after loss after loss after loss.
And sometimes you can think, well, why am I here?
I'm experiencing all this pain? Why am I here? That
(21:57):
just saddens me. As far as you know the thoughts
of death and suicide, I have certainly been there, and
you're like, why you have it all together? You've got
everything you need. So my heart goes out. I just
be wanting to shout with a bullhorn to somebody, no,
live live. I'm telling you. I'm telling you you curate
(22:19):
a life of peace. Do the work, take medication if
you have to, whatever it is you have to do.
Ah live Live. Another symptom of depression is alcohol and
drug abuse. Now, it does not occur to all people
(22:39):
with depression, but it is important to be alert to
any rapid change in a person's personality that could indicate
signs of addiction. Look out for the person that's like,
I don't need rehab I don't need therapy. That's the
person that needs it, especially if you're noticing changes in
the person now, city like they're being more obnoxious or
(23:03):
more angry. Just an interruption, and they'll walk into an
event and just embarrass themselves and you're like, wait a minute,
what's going on a lot of the route to addiction
is someone going through something, and so you use the
drugs or the alcohol or the heck, you might gamble,
you might get really really really promiscuous because you're trying
(23:27):
to do anything to cope with the pain. Mostly a
route of addiction is pain. Slow thinking is another signing
symptom of depression. Depression can and at times interfere with
psychomotor processing, which can range from agitation to slowness. This
(23:47):
can affect thoughts, movements, and even speech, causing the person
to respond with short answers, or on the contrary, to
speak very rapidly with twitching in the hands and legs.
Now they have a cool depression symptom checker. Now, don't
be like me. There are times I've googled signs and
symptoms of something, and there are a few times stuff
(24:10):
I have you during your near death and be like wait,
is just a paper cut. But let's confirm some symptoms below.
So yes or no? Do you feel happy when you
watch TV or read a book? Yes or no? Are
you excited about good things that are coming your way?
Yes or no? How you look is important? What about?
(24:34):
Do you feel like your mind is sharp? Yes or no?
Are there moments throughout your day that bring you happiness?
Can you laugh spontaneously and have fun? Yes or no?
Do you like to keep up with your old hobbies?
So let me do that. Let me see I feel
happy when I watched you and say, yes, I'm excited
about good things coming by a way. Yes. How I
(24:56):
look as important to me? Yes, but it's not like
don't have to be like face beat, hair professionally done.
Every time I go out, I feel like my mind
is sharp. There are moments throughout my day that bring
me happiness. Now, So, if you're feeling a little blue
or worried today, this is suggesting that you should engage
(25:18):
and lead your activities like going out with your friends,
do some yoga, listen to music, meditate, exercise. Another great
way to feel better drink tea camel mill passion flower. Okay,
it is important to highlight that a depression diagnosis can
only be confirmed by a psychologist and or psychiatrist following
(25:43):
a thorough assessment that evaluates your symptoms, lifestyle habits, healthy history,
and family history. Wow. I remember back in eighteen after
I was released from the treatment facility for depression, how
thorough the psychiatry was. And I promise you, guys, I'm
(26:04):
sharing this because I don't want you to have any shame.
If you feel like you know what, I probably should
go to a doctor. I probably should go and see
what's going on. I probably should enlist the help of counseling.
There are so so many online resources. Like I said,
I read something to you guys today from Black Female Therapist.
(26:27):
If you go to Black Female Therapist dot com, you
can find a therapist. You can go to Psychology Today
dot com. I just want to normalize this discussion. I
just want, like I said, those of you that have
been creative and you feel like you lost your driver.
You feel like you've been doing this for five years
(26:49):
and no one cares. You've been doing this for a
while and knowing is paying attention. You didn't get signed
by the label or your YouTube numbers are low, I'm
tell and you keep going. You know, I'm gonna interview
my manager one day, Jonathan A. Zoo, and he was saying,
how it can take a new artist five years minimum
(27:10):
to break minimum. It can take five years. So yes,
you might have been singing in the clubs and stuff
for five years, but from the time it takes of
the release of an album for it to possibly hit
radio or for folks to really pay attention, that can
really change the trajectory of your career takes five years.
(27:33):
So some people, you're getting discouraged after five months. And
I think what happens is when you look at social
media and you look at where you are, you begin
to compare who you are to where someone else is.
And the saying is true. People ain't showing you their
struggles on social media. You see the good pictures, honey,
you see the touched up pictures. No one is showing
(27:56):
you the sleepless nights, the stress, the reject shin. Creatives
go through so many rejections. Sometimes you will hear one
hundred knows before you hear one yes. But keep going
because that one yes can change your life. I'm telling y'all,
(28:21):
please stay with it. Please, stay encourage and do not
let what somebody else is doing affect what you're doing
and how you should be doing your how it should look. No,
I'm telling you stay with it again Psychology Today dot com.
You can find a therapist there better help as well.
(28:45):
I know the past few episodes, you know, I try
to keep them lights and even in the topics of
mental health. But this episode, there's so much going on.
It just seems like week after week, day after they
were seeing something going on. So I just wanted to
do this episode to have this quick little reminder for
(29:06):
you to just be one step ahead of yourself and
check in on your loved ones or that person close
to you. You notice something is different, you notice something
has changed in them or with them, just check in
on them and be a safe person. And what is
a safe person. A safe person is they might not
admit to you right away that they're feeling depressed. They
(29:29):
might not, but just say okay, or just maybe read
off some of these signs and symptoms and just say hey,
I just kind of noticed a change and you I
just want you to know that I'm here for you.
This is a judgment free zone. If you want me
to go to an appointment with you. I'll go. I'll
even set up the appointment for you, because sometimes you
don't have the energy to pick up the phone and
(29:50):
do anything, so it might just take an angel that
can say, you know what, I'm gonna set up this
appointment for you, I'm gonna go to this first one
with you. And that could not only change someone's life,
it could possibly save their life. I'm thankful for you, guys.
I am thankful for your love and your support. Thank
(30:10):
you for allowing me to be so open. Thank you
all for being my safe place. Thank you for being
a safe person for me to share. I care about
each and every listener. That's why I was able to
do this episode today because I really really, really really
really care. Yes, you see folks smiling. Heck, you see
(30:30):
me smiling. But it's taken me a lot too, and
it's cost me a lot to have a consistent smile,
to be in a constant state of peace. So just
know that I love you. Know that you are absolutely loved. Okay,
(30:51):
all right, take care such Chuchus Tree Checking In with
(32:13):
Michelle Williams is a production of I Heart Radio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts, from I heart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
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