THE START THE STEAL TOUR: D.C.! (with Tony Woods, Paris Sashay, and Jamel Johnson)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My Mama told me Presents the Start to Steal Tour.
We're very excited about it. Yeah, I'm not about to
bite my tongue. We want to sell it out and
the dates are coming up fast, and so if you
live in one of these areas, we want you to
buy your tickets now. It's all available on our instagrams,
on our websites, on our link tree. We'll be in

(00:21):
Atlanta on Halloween, October thirty first. November one, We're in Houston,
November two, Austin, November three, Dallas. We're in Brooklyn on
November seventh. We're in Somerville, Massachusetts. It's Boston, bitch, get
over it. November eighth, November tenth, we're in Philly. November seventeenth,
we're in San Francisco. We want y'all to come out.

(00:42):
We want y'all to kick it. We will be doing
our coveted live show with special guests, with just me
and David. Depending on the city, it'll be a great time.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
All that meet and greets you've been Chris Brown has
a good meet and greet.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Bro Let's be clear, I'll take a weird picture with
you for free.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
She say, Hey, Okay, what the fuck is up?

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Everybody?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Hi?

Speaker 4 (01:28):
All right, bang bang bangs Keet Skeith skeet.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
There it is there it is.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to a phenomenal live show of
My Mama Told Me.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy theories.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
And we finally work to prove that Kevin Durant's bald
spot is perfectly aligned with the voter redistressing they put
up in Project twenty five.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
Let's go. He's not losing his hair.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
He's warning about a future where black people are rendered
even more meaningless in their voting.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Let's go. This is not ball is life.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Hair is our last shot at democracy. I'm like stink German,
I'm David. And that's that's some of the most beautiful
work you've ever done.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Thanks that they seem mostly indifferent about it, but I
think I was.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
It's early. It's not really fucking nailing it. That was
you hit them with a lot of knowledge. Yeah, sinking.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
I made you aware of stuff that I haven't read. Yeah,
I worked really hard on that bit.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
It's good. We're we're excited to be here. This this
is uh and we.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Should have probably went with a one hundred and fifty seater.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
But this is what. Yeah, so it's it's good job
we're here is uh, yeah, it's not something I was
hoping to hear someone yell that's a good show when

(03:05):
they have to remind you, hey, we can't.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
Don't worry.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Don't worry. It's more full than it seems. No, I
think it's pretty good. Thank you, Thank y'all for coming out.
This is the first night. It's the first night of
the Start to Steal tour.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
This is David and I have been doing this podcast
now for two years together, and uh and we couldnot
be more grateful that you guys would come and listen
to us talk some bullshit about conspiracies and the whatnot.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
Truly true. It's a good tour. Or two. We got
Fiji water. That's a big that's huge.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
That's a big upgrade from the last one that gave
us a hose out back last year. Do you like
Hoose water. You don't seem like you would like hoose No, nigga,
what don't do that to me? Don't do that. No,
don't do that to me. Hose water hits pretty good. No,

(04:05):
you're outside playing excuse me. Wait, a fit was inside
like a fucking nerve. Start chiming in, you nobody chiming.
Shut the fuck up, because this is psychotic what he's doing.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
It's not, it's not.

Speaker 6 (04:21):
I am thirty seven years old. He is thirty seven
years old. This nigga don't like hose water anymore. You
mean liked hose water. Give me a cun you tasted
filtered water.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
I could blind taste test hosed water right now. You
give me hose water, tap water and Fiji eyes closed.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
I get it. And that's got a metallicy hose flavor
to it.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
That's fifty feet When was it? You don't even you're
disconnected from your roots, That's what I think. When was
the last time he drink out of a host? Langston? Brother?

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Brother, It's been some time, and I'm not going back.
I'm better than that.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Last me. When's the last time you drank out of?

Speaker 4 (05:09):
Last week?

Speaker 2 (05:09):
When I was watering the new peach tree we bought,
it's good to have.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
I think you thought that was gonna be the bomb
drop of this. I really thought I was gonna win
with that. I was a lady going, oh, oh, that's okay,
that's all right, big man. It's probably hot outside. That's
why you did that. You were hot and you were scared.
You didn't know how to grow the peach tree.

Speaker 7 (05:35):
H huh.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
That is a worry about But that's not.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
The point we we should get we haven't even really started.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
If this is your first time at the show.

Speaker 8 (05:45):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
We we talk about black conspiracy theories. That's our whole ship,
and David and I love to kick this thing off.
We like to get you nice and warmed up by
unpacking a conspiracy we've been wrestling with and this is
d C. We we want to do a d C
specific a conspiracy theory is due to.

Speaker 9 (06:02):
A feces thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling,
and a stunk so bad.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
He also does that periodically throughout the shows of If
you hear Michael Jackson talking about Dookie near you, you're
not being haunted.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's David doing his job. But this is DC.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
We have a conspiracy that is very DC centric and
it is the d C sniper was all a distraction.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
This is not a town for him. Brother, Your feedback
is not necessary just yet. There will be a Q
and a at the end. But right now you need
to shut the fuck up.

Speaker 10 (06:50):
Now.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
I'm sorry that happened to you.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
You're in my prayers, but they're quiet prayers. Okay, let's
be careful with this. Right from the start.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
I thought it was a bad idea when we brought
it up earlier, I'll be honest.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
But then I was like, it could be funny.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
When I pitched it to him, he was like, oh, yeah, okay,
it was real, like I'm not sure, and I was
just no, you probably don't get it yet because well,
because last tour we got that guy who yelled us
about Cosby's. He was very upset about our We were
on the right side.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
Don't get quiet. I like his eyes. I'll say it.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
When we say a distraction, I want to be clear
we are not suggesting even for a second.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
And this isn't necessarily my theory.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
If you know the way I played the game in
the podcast, I don't pick sides. I play it real
down the middle and let the let the people decide
for themselves. But in this case, the DC sniper being
all a distraction is not suggest people weren't murdered, that
the danger wasn't real. It's suggesting that perhaps this DC

(08:07):
Sniper's popularity was manipulated by the media in a way
that we're not talking about.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
That's okay, we got now we could talk about it.
He got it out, he said, what he Here's my
first pushback to this conspiracy, was the DC Were they
that popular, like in the realm of how other serial
killers are like idolized and they make TV shows? Were
the DC Snipers that popular in the Keep in mind

(08:38):
where you are from DC, y'all are like, my mama
is the most popular lady at work.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
I assure you, everybody likes her. She told me herself.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
I actually do think it was more popular than you're
giving credit.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
I think I.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
Think, and this is maybe unpacking some of the conspiracy
that happens here. I think they were real excited about
the DC Sniper when they thought it was one dude,
and then they found out it was just two niggas,
and they were like, Oh, this isn't the story we
thought it was gonna be. They wanted like a dork
with his shirt tucked in his pants too high, and
instead it was just niggas And they were like, oh,

(09:25):
I don't I don't know if this is right.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
How did you feel when you found that out? I didn't,
I'll be honest.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
I didn't find it out until I started researching this
bad boy.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
That's crazy. I did know that.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
I didn't know that my hose drinking ass.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
But that's hose talk, do you.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Know what I mean? I was learning about him when
he was still a brit of killer. The metaphor tracks,
don't bail on me.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Just because you ain't woke enough to get it doesn't
mean I fucked up. I I did not know, and
we talked about this. I didn't know for certain that
it was even two dudes. I think at one point
I had heard that it was that the other dude,
the kid, was his son, which wasn't true.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
They weren't related at all.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
It was just a dudes, like you were trying to
kill some people here, Like, yeah, I killed some people,
which as someone who's been tricked by an older dude
into bad behavior, I do understand. Yeah that's relatable. Yeah,
I meant smoking weed.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
I'm not like a psychopath.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, we were throwing pennies off a bridge, you know, Yeah,
not killing people.

Speaker 4 (10:38):
Yet.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
But I didn't realize that it was two dudes that
they weren't related fully. I think even additionally, and this
is something I learned in doing the research. DC sniper
killed a lot of people that weren't in DC. That's
how he got started. He wasn't even fucking with y'all
at first. He had like started in Seattle or some shit.

Speaker 4 (10:59):
Wow, So was this way across.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
The country killing people and then took a break, like
just took like a siesta for a minute, and then
was real focused on y'all for like a like a
couple of weeks. He was like, I'm gonna beat the
fuck out of this town, and he went to town
on y'all.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
What was the overall length of his because that's where
we need to start, right if he's gonna be, if
they're gonna be prolific serial killers.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
He he I think made it like six to eight months,
if I'm not mistaken. It was a long run because
they couldn't figure out in the beginning that this was
a serial killer. They thought this was just random shootings
that were taking place, and then suddenly they were like,
oh shit, I think that's just one dude or multiple
dudes doing this.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
I gotta be honest, I feel like the room hates this.
I thought we would engage in exciting discas. Why didn't
one of y'all step up and stop him?

Speaker 4 (12:02):
You knew this was happening.

Speaker 6 (12:03):
You were zig zagging to school, start your John Wick training.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
Where are your good guys with guns?

Speaker 2 (12:18):
I'm a genuine psychopathe you.

Speaker 4 (12:21):
What a crazy thing to yell at people.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
He's not like a gun on it. If I was
in DC, it would have undered different. Put me on
that plane. I'm the Mark Wahlberg of this podcast. No,
I one of the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
I didn't realize that he that he had done done
so many killings outside of this. But I'll make the
point that I think is worth talking about for the
for the conspiracy as a whole. I think that something
strange happened when the DC sniper became this big public
figure in that he suddenly became like sort of the
taste of serial killers for a minute, and that reset

(13:02):
the image of what a serial killer is in this country,
right that for the longest, it was just white dude,
white dude of a certain ilk was gonna be serial killer.
And now suddenly anybody could be a serial killer. And
that's not what they used to do with us. They
used to we shot at each other and that was
just our problem. And it's like, oh no, we either

(13:22):
unpack what's happening in our communities or don't give us
this weird label that then makes your life different but
not ours.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Do you give what I'm saying?

Speaker 4 (13:31):
Right?

Speaker 2 (13:31):
So you think it was more of people using it
as an opportunity to change the face of serial killer.
I think there's an argument to be made there to
diversify serial killer, a sector that had been far too
white for far too long.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
It's a part of what they marched for. On Selma,
I would say it was in the fine print. If
you look, God, don't read.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I do agree with I do agree with you on
that point, though. I do think that there was a
tone shift in the idea of what a serial killer
could be as opposed to being this thing that before
the DC sniper was always primarily white men, Like that
was it right? That is what they do? It's white?
And is it still mostly white men? I think though,

(14:23):
So they really tried to pull a fast one there. Yeah,
it could be anybody.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
No, it couldn't. It's the one in the glasses.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, nine out of ten times.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, No, I think that's I think that feels real
to me to some extent. Is let's let's broaden the
definition of serial killer and force people to wrestle with it.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
And I'm I'm with that because I'm your partner in this,
all right, So I think you I think you can.
I think this is real. I think it was truly
a distraction. I don't also know that next serial killer
in line who was famous? I'm not a black one
a period. Who was the next right, like, yeah, who
was the next big one post that that came after?

Speaker 7 (15:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (15:12):
Was it white or was it?

Speaker 2 (15:13):
No?

Speaker 1 (15:13):
The only I don't know that there's been another white
serial killer of note. Yep, sure so sure, yeah they
found the freaking man with the little penis.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah I remember, yeah, yeah, wait wait what you know
what I'm talking about? This sounds like I couldn't be like.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
The highway uh in California? What's his name, Golden State Killer?

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Yes, that description, if you watch the documentary, is not
not wrong.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
He was a freaking man.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
He put on a fucking mask, and he had apparently
these small, strangest penis, to the point that people were
being sexually assaulted and noticed. Do you know what I
mean goodness.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
They were like, I'm not going to forget this.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
There's a lot I want to put out of my mind,
but this is permanent in me.

Speaker 4 (16:20):
That is how they described it.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
And I would say that, yes, more people have been revealed,
but not anybody like, who's just hooping at a young age?

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Damn? How big was this, dick? It's pretty funny.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
Well, well this came to a weird all time.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
I thought this would be more fun, silly riffing, and
David showed up, responsible and ready to work.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
So I don't know. Yeah, I'm sorry. I really shut
you down on that one. I was a bad partner.
I'm gonna get it back. It's the first show of
the tour. We gotta like, we gotta ease into we
gotta get back in our rhythm. Weybe, don't start with
like one of the most traumatizing memories for a specific area.
It'll be different in Dallas. I promise you can talk

(17:29):
about the cowboys or something. Duk Priscott, what a weird.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Guy, right, all right, we have some amazing guests that
we want to bring up to the stage to play
some very fun games with us. Our first guests this
evening I truly cannot think of a better, funnier motherfucker,
but also a better way of kicking this thing off.

(17:54):
He is a legend in DC. You've seen him on Netflix,
You've seen him on goddamn Everything.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know him, you love them.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Give it up for Tony Wood.

Speaker 11 (18:06):
Something's going on?

Speaker 4 (18:07):
Can snap?

Speaker 2 (18:14):
You know where you were coming from? Ya?

Speaker 4 (18:21):
I got terrified. I was like this nigga left.

Speaker 7 (18:23):
You know, you can crab that micro which way to
come in? See?

Speaker 12 (18:31):
I saw that? That's that looks like official? Like that's
y'all's way. Yeah, you know, like Johnny Like I was
gonna say Johnny Carson, but you know, like Jimmy Fallon.

Speaker 9 (18:41):
Like.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
I like the way you say his name.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
I know that.

Speaker 7 (18:46):
I have an Oval bike. What's good man?

Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, we're excited to hear. We we have a brand
new game that we've never played before that we want
to do with you. It's a fun game called.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
America's fun Shittiest Home Video.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
Is.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
The way this is gonna work is we've collected some
of the finest materials from both famous and not famous
hoteps on the Internet.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
Okay, yeah they're big fans.

Speaker 12 (19:21):
Yeah, I mean would like that you know because my
son's talk like, y'all do.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
I mean.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
Respected in my life?

Speaker 7 (19:33):
I'm saying, how does everybody call him Jimmy Fallon?

Speaker 2 (19:37):
Yes?

Speaker 7 (19:38):
How does everybody know what a hotel? What is it?

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (19:41):
That's a great question. I'm sorry for getting defensive.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
That was on us. What a hotep? Uh? And and
feel free this can.

Speaker 7 (19:51):
Be everybody clap they knew I would say.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Hotep is a person who takes Pan African ship and
then elevates it to the point that they us send
black men and women. Sometimes some black men tell the
gods that we are We are gods amongst a lesser
race of humanity, and that is the the That's.

Speaker 4 (20:14):
Not so terrible what you're saying.

Speaker 7 (20:15):
That's a big ass explanation.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah, I feel like, well you described them really cool. Okay,
what am I missing? It's just nonsense. They're just they're
in conspiracy. Who is the whole TEPS?

Speaker 4 (20:28):
The whole TEPS?

Speaker 7 (20:31):
All right? I thought he was. I thought he was. Okay, man,
be quiet listening. I was on the phone. I wouldn't
telling to.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
You Tony the way this game is gonna work. We're
gonna show you some videos.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
You feel free to talk riff stop us whenever the
first thing comes to mind.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
We're gonna talk a little shit. Okay, we're gonna show
you a video.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
This first video actually comes from doctor Umar Johnson, one
of the finest doing it. I'm a big fan, maybe
the funniest hotep in history. We're gonna watch a video
of a recent conspiracy that he's unpacking for us.

Speaker 4 (21:18):
He'll explain it better than I.

Speaker 8 (21:20):
Can, and did.

Speaker 10 (21:21):
He had an agreement with them where they would help
him market his Daily Owned tequila brand, and Diddy took
issue with Diego because they had described the Daily Owned
tequila liquor Puffy's brand. They described it to their customer
base as if it was an inner city urban quote

(21:46):
unquote ghetto hip hop type of liquor, and Puffy took
issue with that because he said, I'm a global icon,
I'm a hip hop mogul.

Speaker 8 (21:55):
Don't limit my product just to black people.

Speaker 10 (21:58):
And by doing that, you're dissuading white people and nine
blacks from.

Speaker 8 (22:03):
Buying my liquor. You're cutting my cells low.

Speaker 10 (22:06):
And I think you're doing it on purpose because you
don't want Daily On Tequila to outsell all your other
European control brands.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
I'm gonna positive Diego.

Speaker 8 (22:17):
Of racial discrimination in marketing.

Speaker 10 (22:22):
Diego got upset with Puff British space company.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
I have no idea. It's terrifying me. I felt tramped.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
No listen, nigga, I'm telling you, Puffy didn't do nothing
to nobody.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
I truly don't. He had to mute it. I don't
know what to do, Tony, Do you have thoughts on this?

Speaker 13 (22:52):
On you?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Are you following what he's Yeah?

Speaker 12 (22:58):
I couldn't hear shit he was saying. I just washed
his hands, Like, come on, what the fuck is what?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Alright? Dog?

Speaker 7 (23:08):
I mean yeah, I heard what he was saying. But
I don't drink t quiling ship. I don't funk it.
Shit don't matter, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah? What pretty good answer as far as answers go.
It's a pretty good answer your thoughts. I can't I
can't tell if it's looping or if this nigga is

(23:40):
still going.

Speaker 4 (23:43):
It hasn't even looped back yet.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
He's still just explaining how this was a dastardly plan.

Speaker 14 (23:51):
Bro where easy He's at a discovery zone that's they picked.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Up the fuck.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
I also didn't know Malcolm X had a military h.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Tony, where where are you in it as a conspiratory?

Speaker 15 (24:24):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Are would you consider yourself a conspiracy theorist? No, you
believe in stuff.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
No.

Speaker 12 (24:31):
I tell people things and they go the fuck out here. Yeah,
I know, like like I hate comedians always go hey,
I was in the Air Force, I was in this,
and they go, thank you for your service, and I go,
I was in the Navy and the Marines.

Speaker 7 (24:44):
People go for real.

Speaker 4 (24:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (24:48):
And when I was seventeen, I saw a UFO like,
oh yeah, I think that's not in alicomter and.

Speaker 7 (24:59):
And uh uh.

Speaker 12 (25:00):
Then then like recently, I was in Africa, like okay,
well not Silver Spring like she she's thinking Ethiopia. No, no, listen,
I don't even know what it means for her, and yeah, yeah,
it's a it's a it's an area of uh it's

(25:23):
the suburbs of DC, but it's really Silver Spring, Maryland.
But it's a big concentration of Ethiopian people, not that
many forks.

Speaker 7 (25:32):
But yeah, my bad listen.

Speaker 12 (25:42):
Yeah, I think the juice from the greens got on
my bread.

Speaker 7 (25:45):
Bread with what she and I have to say stuff
like this.

Speaker 12 (25:53):
To yeah, misdirect people from what I'm really saying because see,
you know, because I was in Africa, but it's not
like the continent, not like not like what not that.

Speaker 7 (26:10):
This is I was. I was in a place called
the Shells.

Speaker 12 (26:13):
It's a group of islands which is a thousand miles
off the west the east coast of uh Africa.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah you know the one.

Speaker 7 (26:24):
Yeah yeah, yeah, he's next.

Speaker 12 (26:27):
And and I was there doing a doing a show.
And we stayed at a really nice resort and like
the had like bamboo gates but they were as tall
as that balcony like Jurassic Punk.

Speaker 7 (26:42):
They come in and ship you have to be out.

Speaker 12 (26:45):
And you see like lights like shadows on the because
nightclubs put out their little logo and we kept saying
all these logos like Batman, but you look up, like,
oh ship it was bats Yeah no, no, not like
the little them ones. It was like big band, like
like a little dog got wings. But that's not the

(27:07):
part I'm talking about. I'm just distracting you. Pretend I
moved my hands lot. So uh we were there was
really nice resort. They had three pool like a pool
for like people want to exercise, a pool for like kids.
You can pee in and and an adult pool like boy,
you can yeah, yeah that the beach was a lagoon,

(27:34):
like like that was the beach proba.

Speaker 7 (27:36):
It's only open during the day, only open during.

Speaker 12 (27:39):
The day, and they tell you not to go, but
they tell you, they.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Tell you, you.

Speaker 12 (27:45):
Know, like how your grandmother said, now listen, don't eat
the chocolate that's in the medicine cabinet on the third
shelf behind the aspen. Would you tell you you gave
me the court like like, why would you tell me?

Speaker 2 (28:01):
Y'all?

Speaker 12 (28:01):
Probably it used to be some medicine that with chocolate. Anyway, listen,
but she would tell you that just to see how
much of a little lass hole you were, because I was.
I ate the chocolate.

Speaker 7 (28:13):
But listen a whole nother story. It's shitty.

Speaker 9 (28:18):
There was due to little feces on all over the walls,
the floor, the ceiling.

Speaker 11 (28:23):
And a stump.

Speaker 7 (28:24):
This is okay, we're not what she said. I came here.

Speaker 12 (28:28):
But no, So we're all hanging out and they have
they have gates or whatever, so you don't go to
the beach tonight. And we say, hey, can we go
to the beach, and they go, you're not supposed to
like that nobody said no, don't. They said you're not
supposed to. So we go down and there's a group
of us and there's just a little boy. And his

(28:49):
mother had always said she said he's autistic. I'm like, whoa,
I'm like, wow, what does he paint? And she had
an accent listen, but he but he liked me, you know,
because I'm slightly on the spectrum myself. So we were

(29:09):
kicking it and just everybody's having a good time and
me and him having a good He was non verbal.
It's like maybe ten or eleven years old, but everybody's
having a good time. Then we all go, hey, let's
go down, you know, fuck them, let's go down to
the lagoon and swim. And so you know, we're gonna
go down, and so I'm like, all right, we're gonna race,
just playing around. So me and him end up being
the first ones in the lagoon, and we probably about

(29:30):
as far as that curtain into the water. But you
have to have those little shoes on because it's kind
of rocky. In the daytime, you can see it, you know,
but at night anyway, so we see something coming, Yeah,
this is the serious part. We see something coming and
it's coming from maybe a mile away. And you ever

(29:51):
be out on the belt Way and you see something
that small, but it's like.

Speaker 7 (29:56):
Like a motorcycle, Like.

Speaker 12 (29:57):
Mother Fuckerry, that's how this is how fast it was coming.

Speaker 7 (30:01):
And it's coming. I'm like, whoa, you know, I'm turning around,
like let's get out of the water, let's get out,
let's get out the water, let's get it. And it's coming.

Speaker 12 (30:07):
But there's no fin right because like it's not a shark,
it's not a dolphin. But I'm thinking I've seen that
little specials with the killer whales, and you know the
shit they do the seals, Like a seal be sitting
here on a piece of ice and he do like
this until they get there.

Speaker 7 (30:21):
Gonna got you, bitch, right. So I'm like, but I'm like,
this water too warm for those killer whales.

Speaker 12 (30:29):
But anyway, I'm thinking a lot of shit because we're
scared and tried, which we ain't got put that far
to go. But this thing got as close as that
curtain to us, like from a mile and then what
that way, I'm like, oh shit, And then came back
and jumped out of the water, and first his arms
came out. Yeah, I know his arms came out. He

(30:52):
was at least twelve feet long, wingspan maybe ten feet.
And he didn't say it, just kind of looked at us.
Don't nobody said, ooh, didn't have titties? Whoa, It wasn't
done sexy about this mother he was. And he just
kind of gave us a look, which get the fuck
out the water and he went back in the water
was only like this deep but no splash. And that's

(31:13):
how big he was. Because the other people came in
there go, oh, look a submarine. That's how Biggie was.
And I was running out and the little boy who's nonverbal,
was talking like shit. And I went back to my
room crying with the Bible and called my mom and
she said how much you had to drink?

Speaker 7 (31:33):
See exactly.

Speaker 12 (31:33):
Everybody's like, oh, that was a powerful story, but y'are like, oh,
he crazy, But it's that's it's that that's not a
conspirad because it's true.

Speaker 7 (31:40):
Right Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Brother, I'm gonna take your word for it.

Speaker 7 (31:54):
Am I hip tip?

Speaker 4 (31:54):
Now?

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (31:56):
Your hotip a hotel, hip tip, hip tip. I won't
be holding I think.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
You're hip tip. You gotta train a little harder to
get hotel, but hip tip is sort of the yellow
belt of hotel. Hip tip. Then you get ribbed.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Tip, then you stop eating rib tip, boom, then you hotel.

Speaker 12 (32:13):
I'm gonna tell you, this is the best podcast I've
been on today. Man, this is.

Speaker 7 (32:20):
Hurt people. Hurt people. Listen.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
So you you you do not see yourself as a
conspiracy theorist. Where do you fall in doctor Umar's claims
of Diddy somehow being sabotaged.

Speaker 12 (32:37):
I do feel like he's been sabotazed because they're trying
to make all of his money. It'll gotten game, like
like all of us from dirty shit. That way they
can take it on. Yeah, he had some record money,
didn't he.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
I heard someone say everybody else's records, and I think
that's a bold claim.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
I think I think Bad Boys two soundtrack is the
greatest soundtrack to ever exist in humanity. Yeah, that's crazy
and rush hour to soundtrack obviously.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
And I'd go so far as to say did he
had a pretty nasty hand in making sure that that
was possible?

Speaker 12 (33:22):
But it was greasy. I had to say that my bad,
my fad. It was it was too easy sound, It
was too easy, My bad.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah, I think I get what you're saying, though that
that there does seem to be this instinct of like, oh,
you're a billion dollar person, we're taking all of the
billions rather than a whatever version of the cut that is,
I guess part of your actual crimes. But it's hard
to know how much.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Of his shit is mixed up with other shit, right,
I wasn't even thinking about he's going to jail. I
wasn't thinking about anybody taking his money. Yeah, no, I
mean the jail is the more important part.

Speaker 15 (34:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah, this was a great game. It was the first
time we tried it out. Should we do one more?
Should we try one more?

Speaker 4 (34:16):
Video?

Speaker 7 (34:20):
All?

Speaker 2 (34:20):
Right? This next one.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
I'm excited about this one, especially since you're so hip Tony.

Speaker 4 (34:26):
I think.

Speaker 7 (34:28):
It's a scary.

Speaker 11 (34:29):
Theorist that monsters Ain't.

Speaker 16 (34:30):
It's actually a movie about a dream of See now,
monsters ain't. They have to go through doors to get
to our world to scare children to get their screams.

Speaker 11 (34:38):
These screams power their city.

Speaker 17 (34:40):
Now.

Speaker 16 (34:40):
The crazy party is they actually have a ranking system
in the movie to see who can collect the most
screens scare the most children. Right when they place the
screams in the tubes, they eerily look like blood filling up.
Now you know how the elites supposedly get the purest
a dream of is by scaring children and scaring them
enough so that they're adrenaline spikes. They use all different
measures to scared the children to get their adrenaline going,

(35:02):
including torture. Then on suspice enough, they take the blood,
no matter if it means the victim is live or not.
Now in the movie, the munsters even create a torture
machine called the scream Instractor, and they decided to kidnap
the kids and put them in that machine. And at
its full capacity, it's even capable of torturing the kids
in order to get.

Speaker 11 (35:18):
The scream out.

Speaker 16 (35:19):
Doesn't matter what it does, as long as it gets
the stream, even if it means that child will meet
their end. Anything the power the city, Right, But what
do you think is this one big reach or something
more sinister going on?

Speaker 4 (35:33):
You gotta tell your cousin to stop eating in the car.

Speaker 7 (35:35):
Yeah that wild?

Speaker 4 (35:40):
Ye, my man did that with a whole pizza. Yeah,
I don't, I'm not.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
I don't want to discuss it. That was stupid, is the.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
Basis was a child's movie.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, but he's saying that they're they're making these children's
movies to expose us to a deeper truth. Oo, Disney,
Disney's on our side, secretly, that's what he's saying.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
Yeah, that's what the man with the light eyes said.

Speaker 7 (36:07):
Yeah, what what?

Speaker 8 (36:10):
What?

Speaker 4 (36:11):
What?

Speaker 7 (36:11):
What was?

Speaker 12 (36:12):
It was another movie with monsters And I saw that.
I think I was high, but I saw that Monsters
ball No, and it was this monsters boy called monsters.

Speaker 7 (36:21):
It was what's it? The Gremlins?

Speaker 12 (36:24):
Oh yeah, yeah, anybody say that? And it was like
we had just moved into a different neighborhood, like everybody
was lighter m and and the Gremlins. Did you see
how they act in the movie theater?

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Thank you?

Speaker 7 (36:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 12 (36:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (36:47):
They played cards, smoke newports, shoot each other.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
Oh this is a good that's yes.

Speaker 12 (36:53):
And they were motherfucker what they wasn't drinking coke? Everybody
drinking knee hot orange and grape shoulders and ship wrong.

Speaker 7 (37:00):
Yeah, and they can Jimmy Riggs ship.

Speaker 12 (37:01):
They had the little scooter wool go out of the
road boom, and it was like, you know, like people
who move out of the neighborhoods go look at him.
You know they eat at the dog Da Haven brabies.
That's how that's how the grimins. You getting wet.

Speaker 7 (37:18):
Yeah, that's what racialists people say about other people. I
have an over bite.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
So you're bought into what Tony fucking boys about that?

Speaker 1 (37:32):
So them them, you're saying that that them belittling us
as a race. They'll put in a movie, just not
secrets about adrenochrome, which I don't know why he had
to bleep that out. That felt weird to me. But
you're saying you buy into that conspiracy.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
I think that's a lot more reasonable than whatever.

Speaker 12 (37:51):
He would about the one where they expecting to see
all these fucking flowers.

Speaker 7 (37:55):
They said the color purple, but it was really about
colored people.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Well here's where I get off the bus. But I've
been having a good time. Yeah, how do you feel
about it? Langston?

Speaker 1 (38:10):
It's stupid. It's stupid. I think that's fair to say.
It's there's no reason to unpack monsters inc. And if
any of y'all want to talk about monsters Inc. After
the show, I'll walk away from you in a second.
There's no moment in me that's like, let's take this
seriously as Monsters, inc.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
But I don't know. I thought the Man with the
light eyes was funny.

Speaker 9 (38:32):
That's.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
All right. I think that I think we did that game.
I think we did that game. That was game.

Speaker 7 (38:41):
Game was dope, bro.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
One more time for Tony Woods.

Speaker 12 (38:47):
Everybody that that was that, Like, you can go now.

Speaker 7 (38:55):
That, y'all. You could say word the way y'all just said,
oh man, this Well, if.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
They would have stood up and applauded like I thought
they should, it would have been weirder.

Speaker 12 (39:14):
That's all right, man. They tripping on the Monster movie.
I think they still thinking about the mermn. But listen, man,
I've been kicked out of a better podcast. I'm fucking
with you. O man, Thanks you guys, Thanks Tony Woods.

Speaker 8 (39:33):
Everybody was y'all.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
My mama told me presents the Start to Steal Tour.
We're very excited about it. I'm not about to bite
my tongue. We want to sell it out and the
dates are coming up fast and so if you live
in one of these areas, we want you to buy
your tickets now. It's all available on our instagrams, on
our websites, on our link tree. We'll be in Atlanta.

(40:06):
On Halloween, October thirty first, November one, we're in Houston.
November two, Austin, November three, Dallas. We're in Brooklyn. On
November seventh, We're in Somerville, Massachusetts. It's Boston, bitch, get
over it. November eighth, November tenth, we're in Philly. November seventeenth,
we're in San Francisco. We want y'all to come out.

(40:26):
We want y'all to kick it. We will be doing
our coveted live show with special guests, with just me
and David. Depending on the city, it'll be a great time.
All that meet and greets you've been Chris Brown has
a good meet and greet.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Bro Let's be clear.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
I'll take a weird picture with you for free.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
I think that was a success. I marked that under
a win baby.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
Yeah, that was crazy. I go home.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
I eat a couple extra chips cause that one. I
don't think they understand your complicated history with snacks.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Well, you just treat yourself to a few extra snacks
because you did good that night.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Y'all. Don't do that. You don't get home from work
and be.

Speaker 4 (41:14):
Like, damn, I sent a lot of emails.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
I should I should go ahead and give myself a
candy bar or some I deserve it, So then why
did you bail on me? That was so relatable. My
comedy is so relatable. Our Next Game, I'm having a

(41:35):
gat time. This is the best podcast on Our Next
Game features a comedian I love so much, You love
so much.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
She's hilarious.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
She's been on She's been on Comedy Central, She's been
on so much cool shit.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
A DC native, a fan favorite. She's also give it
up for Paar of Sachet. Everybody, Hey, Paris, everybody, Yeah, Hey.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
Hey, Thiga wore the most expensive coat I've ever seen
in my.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
Life just to embarrass us.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Paris. We're excited you're here.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
Where do you?

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Where do you stand on conspiracy theories? Are you a
conspiracy theorist?

Speaker 18 (42:30):
A little bit? A little bit?

Speaker 4 (42:32):
It depends Okay, what does it depends on?

Speaker 5 (42:35):
I get high and then make a decision.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Okay, you don't just jump at it straight away. You
give it some time and a little bit of weed
and choice.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
I like that. That that feels right to me. I'm
high right now, so I get it absolutely to eat
some chips.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
We want to play a game with you. It's a
brand new game and it's called.

Speaker 11 (42:59):
There's Scary Theory.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
Yes, that's the game. Okay, that's the game.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's a game.

Speaker 4 (43:10):
The game is called hero or a hotel, and it's okay.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Sometimes if you mess up, maybe you don't get a
few chips after, but that's okay.

Speaker 4 (43:23):
Here are a hotep. The way this game will work.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
We are going to introduce you to some famous quotes,
some quotes from history that we would just like for
you to decide whether these are quotes of heroes or hoteps.
Completely your decision and we'll talk about it afterwards. First quote,
just because I feel sympathy, compassion, and forgiveness for others

(43:48):
such as Hitler, means I am now a monster all
for trying to open your eyes to the truth that
Hitler was not as bad as he was painted out
to be.

Speaker 5 (44:00):
I'm gonna say, whole tip, you get it.

Speaker 19 (44:04):
But no, you know, as some ship you like, I
understand where you was coming from, but you should you shouldn't.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
Have came, you should have went back over there.

Speaker 18 (44:12):
No.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
No, so this has been like a hotep to you,
not a hero hotep. Okay, let's get do you know
I have to say hotep that's you're going hotel. I'm
not gonna say heer, Okay, fair enough.

Speaker 4 (44:26):
I only gave you two categories. There's no wiggle room
on this. It's actually Tila Tequila.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Wait, so what's the answer. I just wanted to see
if you were paying attention full tap all right?

Speaker 19 (44:47):
Huh how about just whole, not even tep just just
ho take all.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
This Teala tequila for those that are uneducated?

Speaker 9 (44:58):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (44:59):
After her show? Are you ignorant? Motherfuckers out there? After
her her very successful show A Shot at Love two seasons,
I believe she then pivoted pretty hard into white supremacy.
She took a very hard left turn into white supremacy.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
Right turn right, turn right.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
I get confused sometimes, Okay, all right, damn, all right,
come on, man, he's at work. You don't got to
choose to Paris all full of chairs. I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
Beat her up, listen. I can't do nothing but beat
her up. You saw how she spoke to me.

Speaker 19 (45:42):
She spoke to you like she got kids going to
help you. Listen, so you won't asks again.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
I like it.

Speaker 18 (45:48):
I like it.

Speaker 4 (45:50):
Enough is enough.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
I told you twice, Tela Tequila, So your over won
both of you on your hotep. Here we go. Next,
next quote.

Speaker 5 (46:04):
I thought we were warning, oh for one, How we
didn't it was a hotel. She's a hero, bro, she
is not a hero.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
We gotta fact this.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
The game is the game.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
When you make your own game, brother, you call it
whatever you want.

Speaker 4 (46:23):
They had their choice. They chose hotep. The bitch don't
like black people. That's fundamentally wrong.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Now, I'm sorry I raised my voice.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
I didn't want it to come to this. But if
you're gonna act up hilarious, all right, one, here we go.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
I don't even wear a watch no more. I ain't
got time to be checking white Man time. I'm on
Divine Time.

Speaker 5 (46:55):
Hero. That's a hero. That's a hero. Agreed, white Man Tom,
that is a hero right there?

Speaker 2 (47:02):
Come on, say more?

Speaker 20 (47:03):
What?

Speaker 2 (47:03):
What? What?

Speaker 4 (47:04):
Why does this attract you so much?

Speaker 19 (47:06):
It sound like future. I ain't gonna lie you put
on a beat. It sounds it sounds good. Yeah, and
I like the fact that they ain't checking white Man Tom.

Speaker 18 (47:17):
That's good too. The Bond Time, Yeah, that's that's a
hero right there.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
We talked about this once before on the podcast that
time is a is a fiction that was created by
white people, which is a conspiracy theory that I think
some people genuinely believe that the calendars are all based
off of you know, Judeo Christian principles that measure time
in a way that we're not even supposed to be doing.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
Here's how I feel.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
Yeah, go ahead, defend the white man's watch. No, I
do think minutes are a white invention. Okay, that's where
you get tripped up. Is the minutes.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
If we were just on ours, I would never be late.
It's the minutes.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
I agree. It's mad. Whoa I like that.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
So this is hero for both of y'all. Okay, doctor
Umar Johnson.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
Listen, he's got some points.

Speaker 19 (48:17):
Every crazy person says some honesty at least one.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
That's how he gets people to listen to give him
your grits money.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
Remember when he said that, he was so mad. He
was like, just give me your grits money. I'll start
this school. He ain't never start the school.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
So still we're still hero for you, despite despite some
of his shenanigans.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
I mean, for this quote alone, Yeah we can't.

Speaker 4 (48:43):
This is a crazy game.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
Okay, Yeah, I'm so confused. I like that you made
it and I'm having fun with you.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Back to you assured me in a way that doesn't
feel good, all right? Next quote dinosaurs they find one
and make up ninety eight percent of it digitally.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
I mean, you're a hero and from the crowd.

Speaker 5 (49:13):
I want to say Hero, it's kind of in the middle.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
I'm that's a hero. I'm I'm also in the middle
because we all scoffed. But do you know how dinosaur
bones work? Actually, no, Hero, lock it in.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
It's surely crazy for us to presume that something that
was fifty eight million years ago looks like a thing
we see today. There's no fun, right, they're just making
that shit up sort of like, I'm fine. I think
they find the bones, but I don't think they find
them all in a row like that.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, Like if I died doing something good, I don't
think my shit's gonna be all together.

Speaker 4 (50:03):
All right.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
We're hearing Hero twice Kyrie Irving.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
Wait, what's the answer. That's what makes this game fun?
That's true, I'm back on. Yeah, this is so fun
because we don't know what he is. No, he's a hotel. Okay.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Next next quote quote, you know.

Speaker 19 (50:27):
What this is a paragraph from a woman when she's upset.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
I am actually not that much into voting. I think
it's kind of crazy that a woman is running because
I think that women deal with a lot of emotions
in menopause and PMS and stuff like I'm so.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Moody all the time.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
I know I couldn't be able to run a country
because I'd be crying one day and yelling at people
the next day. You know, a lot of grumbles from
the ladies this evening. It was funny when we were
making fun of black men, but now it's important work.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
You're a devil.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Maybe you need to reflect why you think our ship
is funny, but yours is it?

Speaker 18 (51:22):
As a gay woman, honestly, I'm I'm on both sides.

Speaker 19 (51:26):
This is true, but we are. We could, we could
be better. I'm not saying that I date them, y'all don't.
Y'all don't understand what's happening.

Speaker 4 (51:37):
But we we do know.

Speaker 5 (51:39):
The men do men, men do, not the women. That's
what they have saying.

Speaker 19 (51:42):
Men get it. Women are like, that's not us. But
you date these bitches and you be like, that's us,
not y'all those bitches, This is not women.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
We're having the conversations that need to be had.

Speaker 19 (51:57):
But I still want to say Hotep because I don't
feel like a can't run the country. I feel like
because they deal with all these emotions, they know how
to deal with shit.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
You're saying, it's it's the literal elimination of women from
that job that makes you think that's a Hotep's position.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I had to say Hotep as well.
That's Hotep for you? Is well, it is like there's
no job this not like outside of like like a
linebacker some shit. There's no job I've ever seen that
a woman can't do that a man can do. You
know what I'm saying, there's no like you see the potential.
I've never seen a job that. Y Oh, it's of course.

Speaker 4 (52:33):
Let's take a vote from the audit.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Where do y'all fall hero Hotep?

Speaker 4 (52:39):
Who's the brave person? Who's gonna say? Hero? Who amongst you?

Speaker 2 (52:45):
All? Right? The big reveal Brooke Hogan, Hogan's daughter Hotep
than a man who wore du rag for thirty years,
never took it off.

Speaker 19 (53:02):
Still a Hotep. She don't count. Maybe she can't run
the country, but.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
She's a real dumb dumb everybody's debating what happened.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
That they focus on the way, Oh your daddy don't
palm your ass.

Speaker 6 (53:27):
Hey, oh you don't jerk off your daddy.

Speaker 4 (53:29):
A little bit in pastures.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
No, Oh, you're so much better than Brooke Hogan cause
he don't dig in your booty.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Why you take a picture with him? Yellers something else?

Speaker 2 (53:44):
That is a one? Yeah, there's that. Well, I picked
it for a reason. They had more appropriate pictures, but I.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
Said, no, she said some awful things. I'm gonna pick
a bad.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
One of her.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
I thought I was doing the right thing.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
I don't know why you hit it with I've been
to the beach so many times with my mom.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
That's now, get your skin against my skin.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
It's not a picture.

Speaker 4 (54:16):
Wait, so what is the official answer? I think?

Speaker 1 (54:19):
I think unfortunately we only have two options in this game.
I think I never expected us to hold ourselves accountable
to the being heroes.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
It just is the title of the game.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
Okay, that's better.

Speaker 7 (54:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
I don't believe Brooke Cogan to be a hero.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
If that was at all confusing for you the audience.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
I find her to be detestable, much like her daddy.

Speaker 19 (54:44):
That's the picture, Yeah, pictures like this. I'm like, thank God,
my dad wasn't there. Don't touch me, honestly.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
Saying just pictures like this though, all right, we have
we have one more that I want to and is
now for you to decide the final hero, So excited,
here we go. Oh no, I have two more. I
have two more. I thought this was my big closer.

(55:20):
This is just stuff you say. The quote is motherfucker's lucky.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Michael Jackson ain't come out with some damn robot arms,
Paris hero, Hero, tell me a little bit.

Speaker 19 (55:44):
More, because I feel like they're saying that Michael Jackson
was already the best, so if he had some robot arms,
it only.

Speaker 18 (55:51):
Could have been better.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Damn wow.

Speaker 5 (55:54):
So and then he said, motherfucker's lazy. Oh no, motherfucker's lucky. Yeah,
all right, motherfuck yeah. So if he had robot arms,
it would have been even better.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
It would have liked this could have gone even worse
for y'all. Yeah, if the King of Pop had robot arms.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Because then I think we're thinking about it. I think
we're thinking about different I think we're thinking about different
parts of his legacy.

Speaker 19 (56:22):
What parts you're thinking about? I think they lied. I
don't even speak on that part.

Speaker 18 (56:27):
They lie.

Speaker 5 (56:28):
God damn if he had robot arms, it would have proved.

Speaker 19 (56:31):
It because nobody never got touched with robot arms.

Speaker 4 (56:36):
They haven't invented that technology.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
So you're saying, you're saying this is a Heroes quote. Okay, David,
I'm saying, regardless of what side the ballt it that
this lands on, it's a hotel.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
What was he going to do with robot arms. He
wasn't gonna write a better thriller, like you know. So
I think I think it's a hotel, and obviously the
other one.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Yeah, now there are some other details for sure. Wait
what do you think it doesn't matter? I know the
answer is.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
From Bobby Himmett, famous famous hotel Bobby Hemmett. I can
tell by your reaction you don't listen to our many episodes.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
We talked about Bobby Ymmett all the time. Paris checking
her phone, she tired.

Speaker 19 (57:32):
No, No, that's I still think it's.

Speaker 4 (57:35):
A hero quote Bobby Himmett.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
If you're unfamiliar, I think it's just a big, big
fan of all all things hotep pery, And this is
an example of one of his famous quotes.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
I have no idea what he meant when I have.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
To hear the first I have to hear what he
said before and directly after that.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Yeah, I have no clue. I truly just sometimes listen
to him and write things down and disassociate because it's silly. Okay,
our final quote comes to you.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
Here we go.

Speaker 4 (58:13):
They want you to believe the sun is hot.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
I urge you to ask yourself, have they ever touched it?
Think about it?

Speaker 18 (58:22):
Hotep?

Speaker 2 (58:24):
Hotep?

Speaker 18 (58:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
Yeah, this is the most outlandish one.

Speaker 5 (58:28):
Yeah, this is believe it.

Speaker 4 (58:30):
Believe it or not.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
This is crazy for you. I yeah, this is nuts. Okay,
this is Jaden Smith. God damn it.

Speaker 4 (58:46):
Jaden Smith wants you to.

Speaker 5 (58:48):
Touch looks like he said this, I go together.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Have you ever touched it?

Speaker 18 (58:56):
Think about it?

Speaker 2 (58:56):
No, think about it.

Speaker 18 (58:58):
I don't want to think about that.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
That's the that's the product of being too wealthy. You
start questioning, why can't I touch the son?

Speaker 4 (59:06):
Yeah, so I think it's profound think about it. Well,
I'm not gonna.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Say like that isn't a thought that hasn't crossed through
my mind at some point.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
Yeah, I will say, big old ball of gas does
feel very unsatisfying.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
After a while.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
No, we're just like, so the gas just stays there
the whole time. There's just nothing, and I know that
heat is leaving off of it. I understand their science
behind it. But when you're dumb like I am, you
start going, why can't it be a ball that I
can touch? Like I found out you can't touch Jupiter
and that blew my mind.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
Did y'all know that?

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (59:49):
I don't think you know that. That's crazy. Jupiter is
just mostly gas. Oh, I think I actually might have
known that.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
I'm sure there's some solid mixed in there, but you
if you try.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
To touch like a there's like I think there's more
than one. Guess planet. That's my point.

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Jayden's onto something, all right, I'm trying my best.

Speaker 4 (01:00:16):
You're doing good.

Speaker 7 (01:00:17):
This is great.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
This was a good segment.

Speaker 18 (01:00:20):
This was really good.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Any final thoughts on on the segment or Jaden Smith
as long.

Speaker 19 (01:00:25):
I'm in the news space where it's like I want
to ask questions, but I don't want to answers because
I want to know where you found all this shit,
but I don't even want to know.

Speaker 18 (01:00:33):
So I no, I think I don't want to touch it.
I get hot. I look at it. It looks hot.

Speaker 19 (01:00:42):
Some shit, you don't need to know it looks hot.
I don't want to touch it to get burned.

Speaker 5 (01:00:45):
Like it's true, it looks okay.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
I think we can all agree it looks hot.

Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
It looks hot as hell?

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Can we at least agree on that it looks hot?
And so Jaden Smith is wrong and that's the end
of the game. I guess that is a good.

Speaker 21 (01:01:00):
Gamebody, we might not ever see her again, a lady
in that fine of a coat.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Don't come and hang out with riff raff like us,
but but once in a blue moon.

Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
How are you feeling?

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
I feel like I feel like I'm not there for
you as I should be.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
This I'll be honest, I feel that way as well. Yeah,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
I feel like you keep bailing on me. As if
we're not bombing together.

Speaker 4 (01:01:34):
We are.

Speaker 8 (01:01:34):
We are.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
We're in this together, and we're both gonna eat chips
after this. I pray to God we do our final game.
Our final game features features a comedian we both love.

Speaker 4 (01:01:47):
Dearly love this guy. I'm wearing shoes he gave me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Oh fuck, I didn't even know that detail. Their gorgeous shoes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
By the way, you'll see him after the show, and
we'll be out there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
We'll say how to folks and ship after the show.

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
But you're no.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Your next game feature is a comedian we love so much.
He's been on Comedy Central, he's been on Advice.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
I oh, kind of Jamel the Jamel and Brandon podcast,
which which I've done, David's done.

Speaker 4 (01:02:12):
It's a brilliant, brilliant thing. He's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
Give it up for Jamel, John, Stay, what.

Speaker 20 (01:02:26):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
What's going on? What was our on Vice?

Speaker 4 (01:02:28):
Don't do that?

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
Hold up, th bro, you know what you know. We're
dying up here.

Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
Don't come up here and do that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
We lie?

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
Is that what we lied?

Speaker 8 (01:02:37):
We lied?

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
I don't. I looked at my friend. God, damn it, Bro, No,
goddamn Vice.

Speaker 20 (01:02:43):
You you said comedy Central like you wasn't sure, but
you like have been.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
I guess that was the one. I knew everything after
that I was making up And even as I said it,
it's the Brandon and Jamel show. It's not even isn't
it wrong? If you get the two names right, good
enough for me?

Speaker 4 (01:03:03):
Baby, both of you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
Come on.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
I know you all show now exactly hard. That's been
the energy this way the whole time.

Speaker 20 (01:03:13):
Bro, I'm sorry, it's for show. You guys are doing
a fantastic job. I don't peed my pants up there.
When Tony said Silver Spring was Africa, I lost it. Oh, nigga,
I was finished. I've been having a ball ever since then.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Jameelle, we have we have a classic game that we
want to play with you. This is our favorite game
of the last tour, and we hope it will be
our favorite game of this tour.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
It's a game we call oh it'd pro ho yamla
with the blamla all right?

Speaker 20 (01:03:57):
Can you imagine getting shot thing hysterically in your face?

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Oh, that's just sound. That's what I been telling you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
Her recipe for greens. Don't kill me like that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Lady, Paris, where are you going?

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
Y'all should have tackled her. She could have been coming
back up here to hurt us.

Speaker 20 (01:04:24):
I'm right after and me and Paris order food, So, Harry,
you know what I'm saying. She's going to see what's
up with them?

Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
Wait? Is that for real?

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
No?

Speaker 20 (01:04:31):
No, I thought it was gonna be. Nobody laughed. I
thank you for checking. No, I just could have texted
me thank you for checking I should I should have.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
H the way this game works. Do you want to
explain the game? Yeah? I thought you explained it better
than I explained it.

Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
It's a pretty simple game. We give you two options.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
Both will affect humanity greatly, and you choose the greater option.
You choose the greater of two evils. Okay to blessings.
They could both be blessings. I like that.

Speaker 10 (01:05:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
Yeah. First off, we're gonna start out light. What is
it you want to read it? You want me to
read them? Can you send me this picture too while
you're on your computer?

Speaker 12 (01:05:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
Air drop.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Steve Harvey finally admits that he's worn a wig, but.

Speaker 4 (01:05:24):
So does Martin Lawrence.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
O what do you mean?

Speaker 7 (01:05:28):
No?

Speaker 20 (01:05:30):
Listen, all right, hold on, I'm I'm one of the
biggest Martin fans in the world. But hey, Martin had
some fucked up years too. Man them CGI seasons. When
the theme song that Martin was when he was CGI
and he was jumping out of that TV cartoon, Martin
is not great Martin when it when that's fair. All
I'm saying is if he was wearing a wig, that
would explain the CGI.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Martin era for me.

Speaker 20 (01:05:53):
Okay, I hear you, and honestly, Steve Harvey's wig devastating.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
That that broke your heart.

Speaker 20 (01:06:01):
When you're devastating, almost broke my home in half my family.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
WHOA, wow, yes, because y'all were fighting about this.

Speaker 20 (01:06:08):
Yes, what and you were pro whole Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving nineteen
ninety nine fucked the fuck up?

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
WHOA?

Speaker 20 (01:06:15):
You found out early? Well, listen, there was people had
we you know, there was doubts.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Some of us who wrote this joke still haven't found out. Yeah,
I'll be honest, I didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
I don't know that I found out until like the
early like twenty tens.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
Well, it was you know what it was.

Speaker 20 (01:06:33):
It was I was a big fan of the show,
and I'm like bragging at home. I'm at home, like, man,
you don't nobody got a line up like that? Can
you believe me? Can you see your Skit's gotta be lasers.
It was, he gotta be going to get lasers. And
then my dad was like, man, shut your with like,
what are you talking about? Man, Go cut the grass.
You worried about another niggas line up? Go out there

(01:06:53):
and cut the grass.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
Man.

Speaker 20 (01:07:00):
Hell yeah, yeah, I would love it if if Steve
Harvey did that in a town square in front of everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
So you and you want him to admit this, I'm
assuming because you want apology or retribution.

Speaker 4 (01:07:11):
Where what is this?

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 20 (01:07:13):
Yeah, I'm looking for like two bucks back on the
cable bill.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 20 (01:07:18):
I'm looking for a full on rebate yep, in a
paper check, and I want it from Steve Harvey. And
at the same time, if that means Martin's got to
say he had a way going when he feels rebound, fine, woa, fine, wow, fine,
I'm just saying that would explain some of the years.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
Yeah, I hear you. I think I feel similarly. I'll
be real with you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:42):
I think, uh, there would be this beautiful Catharsis that
would come out of Steve Harvey finally admitting his greatest trauma.

Speaker 4 (01:07:52):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
I understand what you're saying, Like I think, but they're
taking all our heroes. I want to live in the lie. Okay,
don't tell me. Don't I want to think greenpeel he said,
give me both of them.

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
I don't want to. I don't want this Christmas and
my belly. I don't want to know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
Okay, wow, all right, audience, where do y'all fall? You
want to find out? You know, is Martin worth the trade? Look,
the audience was not feeling me instantly. It feels I
gotta stand on it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Raise your hand, Raise your hand if you want to
like that. Brother, Yeah, I'm here for the truth, I think.

Speaker 20 (01:08:30):
Raise your hand if you want to stay in the lie.
See here's why. Here's what I need a hero. We
need heroes.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Here's what I'm gonna warn you about.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
And I mean this genuinely, and I know this is
a lot of shenanigans, but I mean this. Steve Harvey
is about six years away from running for president.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
Whoa you know it and I know it.

Speaker 20 (01:08:58):
Six years he will run for some version of Offstart.

Speaker 4 (01:09:02):
He's gonna start starting in about.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
Six years, and then we're gonna start talking about a
Steve Harvey.

Speaker 20 (01:09:08):
Those episodes of his radio show are gonna be fired,
Tommy when you make the announcement, and Uncle Tommy's like, yeah,
it's gonna be and he's doing print call.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
It's gonna be very Treasury Office. Governor Harvey has a
nice n He'll be like, I'm trying to talk to
Steve munching.

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
Point being Steve Harvey admitting that he was in fact
ball the entire time, that he is a fallible character
might delay and or stop that presidency completely. But if
he be runs for president, he's gonna win, and then
we're gonna be stuck with Steve Hark.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
That's how hard as hell. Though, honestly, I might take
it back.

Speaker 4 (01:09:57):
You guys want Steve Harvey as president.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
President Steve Harvey goes nuts? Man, are you kidding? I
don't know suit level alone, the suit level alone, and
be able to get much better guests on the feud,
that's true. The Cheney's the Cheney's on the feud. Yeah,

(01:10:23):
Cheneyese versus Clinton's. Goddamn, that is good. All right, Well
I'm wrong. Yeah, I guess I was wrong to y'all.
My bad.

Speaker 20 (01:10:30):
I still don't really, I've just struggled with the c
g I Martin era, that's all I ask.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Personal issues. No, I agree, I don't think he was
always this crisp and frankly, he looks like shit because
if you really real, because if you really.

Speaker 4 (01:10:43):
That's bad boys for life. That doesn't count.

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
No, you're still a hero. But come on, what do
we see you said, I think he looks great. I
think he looks so handsome. Look, and I think he
hasn't lost his step at all.

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
All Right, next one, you're ready?

Speaker 2 (01:11:03):
Okay, you got it. Student loan eradication for all American
descendants of slaves upon twenty three in mes results. But
find out twenty three in me is actually an FBI
racial database.

Speaker 20 (01:11:20):
This is complicated as hell. I mean, this is already
what you telling me. This is not already confirmed. This
is I thought this was what it was.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
I you wrote this, and I didn't want to yuck,
you're young, but this is already what it was.

Speaker 4 (01:11:37):
I got some bad news to play boy. You should
have told me in the car, bro you let me
sit up here.

Speaker 2 (01:11:44):
In front of my friends. Yeah, it's it's I never
even thought about doing a twenty three in me because
I'm you know, yeah, you know, you know where you're from.
Ain't no Scottish in there, Nope. Yeah. Unfortunately twenty three
and me. Uh, and this is actually a pretty recent

(01:12:06):
article that maybe some of you have seen. Twenty three
and me.

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
Just it became a sort of clear that they're going
into bankruptcy, that they're losing all their money. And there
is a ton of speculation about which essentially government agency
is going to buy them up and mine the data
from that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
Would it be funny if it was NAFTA or not
that NASA.

Speaker 20 (01:12:30):
What if NAFSTA came and got the niggas you know
what I'm saying that I'd be crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:12:33):
I thought you mean NAFTA and being like, hey, no
minimum wage you Mexican, We ain't gotta pay you that much.
Also worse, I'll give you option routes you did. But no,
they're they're specifically very worried, very worried. Nobody's worried. We're

(01:12:54):
very worried that the.

Speaker 1 (01:12:55):
FBI, in fact is one of the So it hasn't
happened yet, it hasn't happened yet.

Speaker 4 (01:13:00):
It like it was confirmed.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
Well, here's the other part that is actually confirmed is
that the the fear around twenty three and meter that's
existed the entire time is that they already have the
potential to sell your data to third party companies. And
those third party companies can include insurance companies who can
deny you home loans, fucking insurance in all forms. Because

(01:13:23):
you have a history of diabetes in your family and
there's less likelihood that you're gonna make it thirty years
more to be able to pay off your mortgage.

Speaker 20 (01:13:33):
Look at your hair, they see if they find two
strands of your hair and then find out how much
you like Cgi Martin episodes, and there's shut her ass
right on down.

Speaker 4 (01:13:47):
Yeah, it's bad out here, dude, Man, this is terrible.
I just saw.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
I was like, this is a funny dystopian future that
would never what a funny What a funny joke, David
go on a bike ride or some dump shit, David,
you something else. You're crazy for this one. This is
I know you're the devil because you read it. You
were like, yes, yes, put it in the show. I

(01:14:12):
was like, he's gonna look so stupid later.

Speaker 20 (01:14:15):
I mean, listen, my personal standpoint is they got our
shit anyway, so fuck it. Yeah, go ahead and give
us some give us that loan money back.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
And that's that's a that's a fair position. At this point,
a bunch of you have face tuned and filtered your
way into giving away all the information they need from you,
and frankly, we can get at a little rebate on
the other side of that, So be it.

Speaker 20 (01:14:36):
GI me something man a coupon book something, because I
already know I'm finished.

Speaker 2 (01:14:42):
Man.

Speaker 20 (01:14:42):
The only reason nothing a happened is because I don't
really got no bread like that. But right as soon
as I walked in the Safeway and touched the box,
my shit was cooked.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
Baby, I knew that. Damn I never pictured that the
FBI was sweeping Safeway for Prince.

Speaker 4 (01:15:01):
But you're right, you're right, all right. Next one, Oh oh.

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
The bat, the BT Awards overtake the Grammys as the
relevant top music awards show, but.

Speaker 4 (01:15:19):
Post Malone sweeps in all categories.

Speaker 20 (01:15:23):
All categories, just for he wins Best Gospel, he wins,
he wins Best Gospel, he wins Female R and B.

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
That's right, all categories, right, and even if he isn't
like the singer, he gets like writing credit right for.

Speaker 20 (01:15:40):
But just for one year, he gets like a does
he do this ship like did he did last year?
Where he just takes over half the show, and he's like, hey.

Speaker 1 (01:15:51):
I think when you win that many awards, you do
take over this year? You know, bot Malone, two hours,
you keep coming up and then by the like the
third one, you're riffs. You're riffing silly, you know, what
I mean, like, Okay, you're just having fun, but it's
back to business next year.

Speaker 2 (01:16:05):
But it's just one year, just one year. That's not
even crazy. Somebody's that does he also get the tribute?
You mean he does get the tribute?

Speaker 20 (01:16:14):
Yeah, and he does, and he sings that, he sings
his own ship for his own death joint, and he's.

Speaker 7 (01:16:24):
R and B.

Speaker 4 (01:16:24):
These are semantics.

Speaker 2 (01:16:29):
This is a tough one. It's been the toughest one.

Speaker 4 (01:16:32):
But remember he also made that Spider Man song.

Speaker 20 (01:16:35):
So I'm not even gonna get into that with you.
You pro the spider song. You don't even know that.
Let me know when you do some Hulk songs. A
nigga fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
One year, one year, that's gonna be a rough ast year.
Though he's gonna be smoking cigarettes in there.

Speaker 20 (01:16:53):
That's gonna be a tough ast year because you're not.
What I'm thinking about now is the shakedown from that.
You know what I'm saying. I think it's twice as
many white running backs after this happened.

Speaker 4 (01:17:09):
Somebody said that's a skilled position.

Speaker 1 (01:17:12):
Fuck, that's a wild thing to say out loud in
response to white running backs.

Speaker 4 (01:17:20):
Listen, they can't handle it. They ain't got that extra tendon.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 20 (01:17:27):
Brother, The inverted racism on white running backs has been
very interesting. That is because motherfucker's be like, oh, christmcaffrey,
he the best, but it should only be one of them,
like he really Jesus or something.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
So you're saying, and I think a lot of us
should be reminded how hard to fallout from like Macklemore was.

Speaker 2 (01:17:50):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:17:51):
Man.

Speaker 20 (01:17:52):
You think Adele would have had them band two knots
before any of that.

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
Do you see what the type of doors unlock? Yeah,
you're right, You're right, You're right.

Speaker 4 (01:18:02):
I hear you.

Speaker 20 (01:18:03):
You see the Dominos is too crazy. It's I'm out,
you can't do it. I'm out, matter of fact, I'm out.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
I think I feel the same. I think this is
too much, This comes a too high a cost. I
think I think I think you're truly building an army
behind this dude.

Speaker 2 (01:18:22):
If you let him get this and and now, we'll
never be free.

Speaker 20 (01:18:26):
So no, I can't let a little a little a
little kid named Declan with a koofi on. That's where
you're headed. If you want, I'm out.

Speaker 4 (01:18:36):
I'm I'm so. This was an evil, dirty question is.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Is there anybody here who would be in, who could
make a case for being in on this conspiracy or
quid as it were.

Speaker 2 (01:18:51):
Please show yourself, cowards.

Speaker 4 (01:18:57):
That's not how you vote.

Speaker 2 (01:18:59):
We are very, very weird version of a benediction. Okay,
next up, Oh, Kamala wins the next election flat out,
but two, but she swaps Tim Wallas for Charleston White.

(01:19:23):
I think I'm in. That's the truth is I'm in. Yeah,
I'm super in.

Speaker 20 (01:19:30):
I'm super in because that debate, Oh, the debate alone
is crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:19:38):
Charleston White versus jd vance Bro. At one point, he
pulls out a night stick just because he's like, you
talk to me like that again, playboy. I'm a ma shit,
the fuck you to the moderator. The moderator.

Speaker 4 (01:19:55):
You can't do that, Charleston.

Speaker 2 (01:19:58):
I'm kind of hand.

Speaker 4 (01:20:00):
That's pretty crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:20:01):
I could go up. Charleston White's in charge of telling
kids to go play I'm in VP.

Speaker 4 (01:20:14):
What do they do?

Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
You know, That's all they do is tell kids to
go to the playground.

Speaker 4 (01:20:18):
I think.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
I'll be honest the I think there's plenty of arguments
to be made for Charleston White being a hilarious option.
I worry about how it'll infect affect our environment.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
Oh you think he's gonna take away the e p A.
I don't know that this nigga has any thoughts whatsoever.
All the departments is gone on. The all the departments
is gone on.

Speaker 4 (01:20:43):
The department is gone.

Speaker 1 (01:20:46):
I think if we are in fact in an existential
crisis in the way that we claim to be, you
gotta at least have somebody who pretends like global warming
is a new department.

Speaker 20 (01:20:55):
It's gonna be like the office of back Page, the
department of pardon.

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
Me, barbershops. We got the barbershop department, so you're you're out.

Speaker 4 (01:21:10):
I think it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
I think it's a dangerous game we're playing to just
I know it doesn't end with a little white child
and a coofee if he doesn't to to two elections.

Speaker 1 (01:21:19):
Just doesn't feel like enough for me to feel like
we've made it through the Charleston White years.

Speaker 4 (01:21:25):
You said, and with Kamala.

Speaker 20 (01:21:29):
Okay, yes we all we all have to Yes, yes
everyone here.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
Wait, can we take an audience? I want to see
the audience pull on? Oh why you show you? Not
the not the Kamala Park, not the Kamala Park.

Speaker 4 (01:21:49):
He's only the Kamala Park.

Speaker 2 (01:21:51):
I don't know. I don't want to know whatever you
got for you. Hey, let's focus. I can't tell with
you termes. I think you want to take this thing
down to hell and then we're not trying to really
pop shit off now you don't want to.

Speaker 1 (01:22:08):
I'm terrified of what the answer is gonna be. But okay,
as far as Charleston White is concerned as an exchange
for VP, in exchange for getting Kamala twice more, where
are y'all a round of applause if you're willing to
take on Charleston White?

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
Wow, nasty work. Yeah, okay, I think we have one more.

Speaker 4 (01:22:34):
Yeah, I think we have one more. Okay, last one?

Speaker 2 (01:22:39):
Okay, as I am wearing some today. Yeah, white women
finally stop disgracing Air Force ones. But Trump top. Now,
Now that's specific. That is that is for that is
for you, This is specific. This is crazy. I wrote
it for you. Upset this brother, Yeah, you hold on it, y'all.

Speaker 20 (01:23:04):
Ain't tell me I was coming here to have me fucked.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
Up in front of it, in front of the whole city.

Speaker 12 (01:23:12):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
Hey, wait, nah dog, you know you want to know
what's crazy. It gets even crazier because they're actually kind
of fly. I kind of want to put that ship
on you know what I mean, you kind of want

(01:23:33):
to do that, right, love it.

Speaker 20 (01:23:35):
You gave him the alpha bits from alpha bits.

Speaker 4 (01:23:41):
Please answer the question, mister Johnson, you got a responsibility
to your people.

Speaker 20 (01:23:49):
Well, first of all, I mean the next thing is
five fifties is not an issue here. Trump can have
all the fucking five fifties.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
He's won.

Speaker 20 (01:23:54):
We wear the five fifties. No, nigga, we wear the
real orthopedic ones. Nigga, we don't wear that fucking whatever
it was Shi that is on Olivia she made the slide.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
Yeah, hell nah, you can keep them, okay, but imagine,
imagine whatever you like with maga written on them. Some
Trump nine two's the Trump nine two's. Yeah that number.

Speaker 20 (01:24:18):
Nah, that's just disgraceful, dog, nah man. Because another thing is,
I don't even think we really on forces like that.
I these is this is emergency. Dog. I wore these
because I was on the Peter Pan bus earlier. These
was like, there are some shoes I could just.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
What you're saying, I'm sorry that happened to Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 20 (01:24:37):
It was an ordeal. That's why I put the forces on.
These are the shoes of joy.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
You know what I'm saying, And like, hey.

Speaker 20 (01:24:45):
Nah, man, you can't listen. Man, Nah, White ladies y'all
can have them. Dog, y'all canna have them because this
is us. Dog we the we We come on.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
Man.

Speaker 20 (01:24:56):
You you know how many guys I bought weed from
in nine nine twoes. You know what it means to me.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
I love how Italian you are about it, because I'm
dead that serious. This is ridiculous. Boy.

Speaker 20 (01:25:13):
No, you can't make that exchange every white lady in
you talk of set a pair of forces on fire
and then wear them out the house. I don't give
a shit. You're not giving truck no note nine two's
on my watch.

Speaker 2 (01:25:26):
I respect that. I think I feel the same.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
I've I've fallen in love with New Balance in a
way that that certainly isn't historical for me.

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
But I do care for them quite a bit.

Speaker 20 (01:25:37):
I mean, it's been bullshit that they even went national. Yeah,
because we was on it like a decade before.

Speaker 2 (01:25:41):
Now. Everybody like, no, they.

Speaker 4 (01:25:43):
Were and when I was growing up.

Speaker 1 (01:25:44):
And I don't mean any disrespect DC, but they were
like truly cornball shoes.

Speaker 20 (01:25:49):
I've never cornball shoes here. We've been selling doping them
shoes since the nineties. Bro, We've been selling doping them
shoes since the heyes putting me, I've only I only
been out since the nineties, all right, that's when I
saw him.

Speaker 2 (01:26:03):
I can't really speak to the eighties really like that.
I'm badly I'll be literally a shoe to cook Cracking Langston.

Speaker 20 (01:26:13):
It's not for him. If if any of you tell
you you gotta stand on your feet for hours, you
gotta stand on your feet for hours, chuck, don't god
stand on this. We gotta stand up for what one hour? No,
I refuse.

Speaker 4 (01:26:30):
I'll say this.

Speaker 1 (01:26:31):
If any of your finest crack salesmen would have shown
up to the Chicago Land.

Speaker 2 (01:26:36):
Area wearing these shoes, we would have pushed you down.

Speaker 1 (01:26:42):
We would have pushed you down and gave you a
fucking wedgie, you dorky piece of shit. It wouldn't have
even been feared. We don't need to shoot you. You're
a loser, just a shove. You're a shovel dude.

Speaker 2 (01:26:55):
We wouldn't have respected you even in the slightest But
I should also tell you is one of the tackiest cities. Yeah,
y'all be wearing them, dumb ass g in this country,
and throughout most of high school, I was wearing black k.

Speaker 4 (01:27:08):
Swiss I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:27:10):
Oh fuck no, you mean you got the nerve, brother,
You got the nerve, brother.

Speaker 4 (01:27:16):
I'm not bragging.

Speaker 2 (01:27:19):
I'm being vulnerable with you in the audience.

Speaker 20 (01:27:22):
Okay, okay, go to Benning Road with them, k swiss On,
Go to Benning Road with them, k swiss On.

Speaker 2 (01:27:27):
I've put in front of the street.

Speaker 4 (01:27:30):
Car, nigga.

Speaker 1 (01:27:31):
No, no, that sounds like whimsy. We would have made
fun of you. But the streetcar, my man.

Speaker 2 (01:27:41):
The street car is way more dangerous.

Speaker 4 (01:27:44):
If you hear that ring of ding, I know they're
about to bust some things.

Speaker 20 (01:27:50):
You ain't been over off Oklahoma Avenue it but you
ain't been and I never will.

Speaker 2 (01:27:57):
That's why I'm talking ship here. If any of y'all
niggas from over there are in here, I'm sorry. I'm
sure it's a scary street car.

Speaker 20 (01:28:09):
Haunted. I bet it's actually his big handed like I
about to stand up, sit down. You got niggas tighten here,
dog brother, get your hand out of my pocket really
really said you work case was like volunteer. I'm telling
you that wasn't like an after school you did that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:31):
I'm saying that Chicago has a complicated history with with fashion,
so I don't know that we get to be the
big judge. Hell no, im with the lady.

Speaker 4 (01:28:41):
No fair enough? Well that was the game?

Speaker 2 (01:28:48):
All right? Pretty good?

Speaker 4 (01:28:49):
Pretty good?

Speaker 2 (01:28:51):
Yeah, Jamul Johnson, everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:29:01):
My mama told me presents the Start to Steal Tour.
We're very excited about it. Yeah, I'm not about to
bite my tongue. We want to sell it out and
the dates are coming up fast, and so if you
live in one of these areas, we want you to
buy your tickets now. It's all available on our instagrams,
on our websites, on our link tree. We'll be in

(01:29:23):
Atlanta on Halloween, October thirty first. November one, we're in Houston.
November two, Austin, November three, Dallas. We're in Brooklyn. On
November seventh, We're in Somerville, Massachusetts. It's Boston, bitch.

Speaker 8 (01:29:35):
Get over it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:37):
November eighth, November tenth, we're in Philly. November seventeenth, we're
in San Francisco. We want y'all to come out. We
want y'all to kick it. We will be doing our
coveted live show with special guests with just me and David.
Depending on the city, It'll be a great time. All
that meet and greets you've been Chris Brown has a
good meet and greet.

Speaker 2 (01:29:58):
Bro. Let's be clear.

Speaker 8 (01:30:01):
I'll take a weird picture with you for free.

Speaker 4 (01:30:07):
We have one more thing. Yeah, let him move, walk
out of here.

Speaker 2 (01:30:10):
I didn't think that last one was gonna go as
turn up as big as it did.

Speaker 4 (01:30:15):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 2 (01:30:16):
I was hoping, but that was man. Y'all went crazy.
You really love damn. I apologize. Yeah, comfortable footwear first selling, crack.

Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
Your final uh. The final thing we like to do
with these shows is we like to open it up
to you. The little Mama's uh here.

Speaker 2 (01:30:42):
We want to hear from you if there if there
are questions you all have, there's actually a microphone right there.

Speaker 4 (01:30:48):
If you want to, you can volunteer or if you
want to yell. It don't matter. We truly don't give
a fuck.

Speaker 20 (01:30:53):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:30:54):
You know, take turns. Be polite, you decent people. Look
at this gentleman he stood up for That's not nice. Hey, Hello,
what's your name?

Speaker 15 (01:31:06):
Ivuka Okaka?

Speaker 8 (01:31:10):
Yes?

Speaker 15 (01:31:11):
Fuck yeah, thank you so, longtime listener, big fan of
you both. But I've always been curious if you guys
are familiar with any like afrodiasporic myths about mermaids just
a little black like background context. I'm Nigerian and Jamaican,
and I've heard both sides from my families about mermaid
bore when I was in Nigeria, Like I don't know, however,

(01:31:34):
many years ago, my cousin was asking me what I
wanted to do while I was there, and I mentioned
going to the beach. He looked at me like I
was insane and crazy and then proceeded to tell me
this very long story about how his friend got kidnapped
by a mermaid at the beach and his body washed
up on shore, and that people don't go to the
beaches because there's mermaids and they will take you and
like have their way with you and then like you're

(01:31:57):
just gone to the ocean and fuck you. I don't
know if they like did a like a rape kid
or anything, but like they were just like they said,
they didn't bring his body back to do the traditional
burial that you do for when people like that.

Speaker 2 (01:32:13):
Because the fishman Blue is out whole.

Speaker 15 (01:32:15):
Out, I think, so they just bury him at the
beach and I'm laughing at him, but he's very serious
and kind of scared, and.

Speaker 4 (01:32:24):
I was scared telling the start, I was scared.

Speaker 15 (01:32:27):
And then on the my Jamaican side, I've heard similar
stories kind of from my mom and like other aunts
and just elders in my family where there's like Mimi
water and like she'll come and take men specifically and
like pull them down to the water to like to
actually meet with them. So I'm just curious if you've
heard this or if you're familiar with it at all.

Speaker 1 (01:32:45):
Well, I'll say this, I know why Jamaicans believe in
mermaids because they don't need pussy.

Speaker 4 (01:32:50):
That that makes sense to me. I need you to
draw the lines.

Speaker 2 (01:32:57):
How are you gonna eat a mermaid's pussy?

Speaker 4 (01:32:58):
I don't know. Do you guys have the schematics I've had.

Speaker 15 (01:33:04):
I've heard in different iterations that they're shape shifters. According
to my cousin, they will come up out of the water,
have legs like kind of like the little mermaid like,
and then they try to like seduce you back into
the ocean. Specifically, only men seem to be the targets.

Speaker 2 (01:33:21):
But I'm serious there, Sierra Leone. I was literally thinking
about me and like twelve of my cousins went to
Lonely Beach together one time. We don't have any I
never heard anything like that. You never heard any mermaids.

Speaker 4 (01:33:33):
Oh, I'm excited. I'm gonna look it up now.

Speaker 1 (01:33:35):
Here's Here's what I like about it is that it
does feel connected to like traditions of like the sirens
song we hear in you know, Greek mythology, and that
to me reminds us, if we may make this conspiracy
a little connected.

Speaker 4 (01:33:51):
It reminds us how ancient the black man is, right,
come on, and that we used to be green.

Speaker 2 (01:34:02):
These stories that get hailed as sort of like, oh,
these are from ancient texts that we had to transcribe
and translate generation and generations ago, are in fact also
black stories and may have originated as black stories. It
might not have been sirens on rocks luring men on
their ships. It might have just been a shape shifting

(01:34:24):
bitch on the beach. He wanted a little bit ass
and then headed back in the water. So I don't
have any expertise on your Mermaid story, but I do
know how to bullshit it, and I think we're gonna
do some research. Yeah, well yeah, we'll definitely do that.
That's great, that's beautiful.

Speaker 7 (01:34:45):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:34:48):
Hey you were You're on fire? You are crazy?

Speaker 2 (01:34:54):
Hello? Yeah, Hey, what's your name?

Speaker 18 (01:34:56):
Jasmine?

Speaker 2 (01:34:57):
Hey Jasmine?

Speaker 9 (01:34:58):
Hi?

Speaker 2 (01:35:00):
Have you all heard from Carlos X? You should talk
about this?

Speaker 4 (01:35:05):
Why should I talk about it?

Speaker 1 (01:35:06):
Because I think you have more more sort of solidified
feelings on it than I do.

Speaker 4 (01:35:13):
What I think it's fait.

Speaker 2 (01:35:14):
We got an email saying that he's in jail and
that he wants us to put money on his books,
which is gracey. Yeah, it was from his brother. I
don't think it's real. I think it started off real maybe,
and then I think it's somebody trolling us. Yeah, we
got an email that basically was somebody being like Carlo,
damn Carlos.

Speaker 4 (01:35:35):
They got him and were just hitting up all his friends.

Speaker 2 (01:35:39):
His closest, his closest pay Yeah, and we just would
love if you would send some money for Carlos.

Speaker 1 (01:35:47):
And immediately David and Olivia I would say, We're like,
this is fake.

Speaker 2 (01:35:51):
This is a big ruise. Uh, And I was like,
I don't know, man, I kind of want to give
some money just to see what happens. We did it.

Speaker 4 (01:36:02):
The part of me is just like I just want
to see.

Speaker 2 (01:36:05):
How far this story could go. But I also know
that if I give some money, they'll get my bank
account and then I'll never be free of whatever. You
know what I mean, I'd be endangering myself and my
family for millennia to come. But but in my heart
of hearts, I really want to see how this story goes.
So we've heard from him, we haven't tapped back in.
Yeah that was like six months ago, so he might

(01:36:26):
still be down. We're sorry, we don't have a better
answery for you, but thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:36:32):
Like people wanted to be like, he's here right now,
it is.

Speaker 2 (01:36:37):
And if you look under your seats, all of you
have a Carlos X to take home tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:36:43):
Thank you.

Speaker 20 (01:36:49):
Hi.

Speaker 5 (01:36:50):
Hey, I had no idea what this was.

Speaker 4 (01:36:53):
I'm so sorry, great introduction.

Speaker 13 (01:36:56):
I didn't know it was a podcast and that it's
about black conspiracy. So this is really exciting.

Speaker 7 (01:37:01):
Thank you.

Speaker 13 (01:37:01):
Oh I'm so leave Oh no no, no, no no no,
I'm too much of a troll to leave. So I
was with fin entertainable Mama, let's go. No, no, no,
But I am gonna ask a question on behalf of
one of my best friends who is in Chicago. She
lives in Bronzeville, and we have intended argument about aliens.
And so she believes, as I guess an entire community does,

(01:37:26):
that if we were more in tune with our subconscious,
that we can summon aliens. And essentially this is the
theory behind the movie Nope, which there's like all these
groups of people who go into the desert, they meditate,
they get right with their subconscious. They believe that all
of these movies like Independence Day and name any other

(01:37:46):
alien movie are really about the military industrial complex and
if we don't like fight against this machine, we're just
gonna be conditioned to see aliens as invaders. And so
she and her Bronzeville neighborhood has been trying to get
right with herself so she can summon an alien. So
I'm just so curious.

Speaker 4 (01:38:08):
Oh no, she's in no, no, no, no, she was.

Speaker 13 (01:38:12):
Yeah, So I am so excited. This is a black
about black conspiracies.

Speaker 4 (01:38:17):
This has probably been weighing on you for a little while.

Speaker 2 (01:38:19):
It has been, it has been.

Speaker 13 (01:38:21):
I was in Chicago twice this summer and she was like,
you gotta watch this documentary. We be watching The War Room. No,
she's in it, and she's like, you know, so yeah,
and I.

Speaker 2 (01:38:33):
Really want us to answer this question. How close of
a friend is this?

Speaker 13 (01:38:38):
So here's the thing, I here's the thing. No, she
is a funny, charismatic, talented professor. No, no, no, no,
no no. She would also be on the right side
of history and choose air forces over new balances, because
let's be real, that's.

Speaker 17 (01:38:58):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:38:58):
And so like no, she's like, she's legit.

Speaker 13 (01:39:01):
She's she's legit, she's legit. So she's a she's a
dear friend. So you know how when you believe something
that's conspiratorial, I'm like, you got to become an evangelist.

Speaker 1 (01:39:10):
Well, that's that's what makes it troubling, right, is this
sounds like this sounds like a person you care about
a lot. This sounds like a person you consider to
be a close friend. Yes, and now this person is
telling you that when you're not around, she said in
criss Cross Apple Sauce, so that aliens can come visit her.

Speaker 2 (01:39:29):
Yeah, what is That's my question? What is getting into me?
Is it like meditation?

Speaker 13 (01:39:36):
There are yes, mushrooms, meditative practices, traveling to other parts
of the world, sperience.

Speaker 4 (01:39:45):
I've done all of those things. I never see no aliens.

Speaker 13 (01:39:50):
But have you heard of this conspiracy?

Speaker 2 (01:39:52):
This is the one? This is you're from Chicago, Daky,
tell me what you think.

Speaker 4 (01:40:00):
Let them speak to me like that.

Speaker 2 (01:40:05):
I I have never heard of this before.

Speaker 1 (01:40:08):
I will say that there is something really fascinating about
the depiction of aliens. We've talked about this a lot
on the podcast that like, even if aliens do exist,
and I'm one of the people that believes that there's
intelligent life outside of our space, I don't know that
they're visiting us, but maybe they are. Either way, I
don't think these motherfuckers look like us. I don't think

(01:40:29):
they look anything even remotely close to us. I don't
even think that's close in the slightest to what aliens
would actually look like.

Speaker 2 (01:40:37):
I think they're much closer to like weird, unimaginable blobs. Yeah,
it's for what we define as intelligent life is not
how they would even define it.

Speaker 1 (01:40:51):
So it's all nonsense, right, our depiction of aliens. And
so when I start to unpack what your friend is
saying and she goes, well, you know, they're the aliens
that they're telling us about are sort of like just
metaphors for the dylence that's happening on this planet. Them
being humanoid and essentially replicating that look for the point

(01:41:14):
of creating the metaphor makes a lot more sense to
me because they're distracting us from a real alien we
could discover in ourselves.

Speaker 2 (01:41:22):
Wow, okay, yo crazy, I don't but again, I'm not
gonna hang out with your friends, you know what I mean?
And I honestly I think you gotta start thinking about
how you get away from her, you.

Speaker 4 (01:41:42):
Know what I mean, because you don't want to with
her tap back in she's bad for you?

Speaker 2 (01:41:46):
Yes, probably.

Speaker 1 (01:41:48):
I think she sounds like a lovely girl who's maybe
uh taking things a bit too far and maybe she
needs a few years to like get.

Speaker 4 (01:41:55):
That out our system and go back to work.

Speaker 2 (01:41:58):
It sounds like the pandemic was hard on a lot
of them.

Speaker 4 (01:42:02):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:42:04):
Some people lost families, some people lost themselves, and it
sounds like baby Girl might have been the latter.

Speaker 13 (01:42:11):
I'll I'll report you.

Speaker 4 (01:42:15):
That was amazing. You're going nuts. Got time for one more?

Speaker 2 (01:42:21):
Yeah, yeah, we we I'm Vernon. Thank y'all very much
for the nights. Okay, what's up Vernon?

Speaker 22 (01:42:27):
Yeah, So I wanted to know what are y'all thoughts
on this, like increasing the amount of people that think
that they're they have telekinesis. Like, I don't want to
diminish I don't want to diminish the power of the
black man, but I see a lot of motherfuckers moving
cars with their hands.

Speaker 2 (01:42:40):
We need to invest in our school system. That shit
is straight up for stupid people. It started as a
joke and then there's like I feel like the content
got flooded to the point where now I'm worried. If
I'm at a point where I'm worried there's people who
think they actually have telekinesis by doing something that we

(01:43:02):
all used to do with pieces of paper when.

Speaker 4 (01:43:05):
We were bored in school. That shit sucks.

Speaker 2 (01:43:09):
The car will somebody try to move a car?

Speaker 22 (01:43:11):
And then also they were like out near the water
and then like augusta wind happened there.

Speaker 2 (01:43:15):
I did that ship. Yeah, it's like a fundamental lack
of understanding of how the world works.

Speaker 1 (01:43:22):
He kept swirling his hand over and over again until
eventually the wind did kind of swirl, and then it
was like yo, and it's like you didn't do that,
big dog. It's like the wind be swirling sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:43:37):
Yeah, it's truly truly a real sign of late stage.
We're over, we're done. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:43:44):
There's this one couple specifically that I saw a light
skin one not I don't mean that well, they have dreads.
I just mean that as a quality. They're like light
skin with dreads. And the dude always has his shirt off,
and the girl always looks like she don't know what
she doing, but he gonna help. She looks like she's
been taken. Yeah, she like is she has a head

(01:44:04):
wrap on, but it's too tight, you know what I mean.
It's just something ain't right in whatever this energy is.

Speaker 2 (01:44:09):
And he's like standing behind her showing her you know,
fucking kemea Maya techniques.

Speaker 4 (01:44:15):
Yes, it's tough.

Speaker 2 (01:44:16):
I I look. I like to buy into a lot
of conspiracy theories. It's fun for me. That one feels embarrassing.
It's it's truly embarrassing where I'm like, come on, bro,
we can't be the face of telekinesis Yes, but what
if we miss it out on something?

Speaker 4 (01:44:33):
Don't do that.

Speaker 2 (01:44:37):
You better move your ass back to your seat.

Speaker 1 (01:44:43):
Appreciate it, bro. I think we can do both of these.
There's two more. Yeah, okay, we can handle two more.

Speaker 2 (01:44:53):
My name is Ramoo.

Speaker 4 (01:44:55):
Came in powerful, I came in strong.

Speaker 2 (01:44:57):
I came in strong.

Speaker 23 (01:44:59):
Baby, you got me a little inspiration?

Speaker 2 (01:45:01):
I got it.

Speaker 23 (01:45:01):
So what do y'all like best about being back on
the road together and back out doing this tour together?
Like what I'll love most about it? What do you
hate most about being back together on the road.

Speaker 2 (01:45:10):
I mean, we've been back together for three hours, but
I think what we love is really really killing shows.
We love selling out venues. Yeah, every word, we just
murder on I'm signing titties.

Speaker 4 (01:45:25):
We did a lot of that.

Speaker 2 (01:45:26):
No.

Speaker 4 (01:45:27):
I will say though, that it is nice.

Speaker 2 (01:45:29):
I think personally, I don't we do the podcast from
our houses, so we don't really get to see what
the listenership is and see like I don't ever run
into people on the street or anything like that. So
it's really nice to see everybody, you know, we're not
just talking to each other.

Speaker 1 (01:45:43):
Yeah, it truly sometimes feels like we're doing this and
avoid and the fact that y'all listen or accidentally come
here because you thought something else was happening it.

Speaker 2 (01:45:54):
I don't know. We appreciate the fuck out of that.
And who's funnier than this dude? I'm just happy to
be in.

Speaker 8 (01:46:00):
Both of y'all specials are killer right now.

Speaker 23 (01:46:02):
So we appreciate y'all being here. Seriously, if you haven't
bought him, go get him. But like y'all been also,
I appreciate y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:46:07):
Thank you, man, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:10):
We planted him.

Speaker 4 (01:46:11):
You gotta beat you gotta beat that though.

Speaker 2 (01:46:13):
Oh shit, okay, wait a minute, I told him and
then oh he was okay, Yeah, I don't I don't
want anybody. Yeah, we got it.

Speaker 11 (01:46:22):
Okay, what's up?

Speaker 8 (01:46:23):
A big fan?

Speaker 17 (01:46:24):
Y'all are awesome. So I know you guys have talked
about Jamaican black cast oil on the show before. Yeah,
you were saying back, yes, So my grandma used to
talk about how she would drink it as like kind
of like a robotusting type thing, like a cop seer.
I was wondering if y'all like ever heard anything about that.

Speaker 2 (01:46:48):
That's wild.

Speaker 4 (01:46:49):
That is thick.

Speaker 2 (01:46:50):
Yeah it is it is?

Speaker 4 (01:46:53):
Oh, no, is she okay? I never heard it. I
never it never even crossed my mind to put it
in my mouth.

Speaker 17 (01:47:01):
Yeah, it seemed like it was a punishment or something.

Speaker 2 (01:47:04):
I don't know. But I think you can drink castor oil.
I don't think I was talking about the same one though,
that I was putting on my That's not this, it's
a different No, I think it's the same one. Yeah,
I don't think you. I don't think you.

Speaker 1 (01:47:18):
I think you can drink castor oil in the same
way that you can technically drink peroxide.

Speaker 4 (01:47:24):
But you can peroxide.

Speaker 2 (01:47:30):
What do you mean?

Speaker 4 (01:47:31):
What's happening?

Speaker 2 (01:47:34):
This is really what you want to shout out about.
This is the stance you're taking. Tell us more.

Speaker 4 (01:47:46):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:47:48):
But you're not supposed to drink the mouthwash either. You
just switch it around and then you get that out
of you. We're talking trace some mounts, all right. I
don't ever drink that ship, I.

Speaker 1 (01:48:07):
Think, and and if I may, I think absolutely you're
correct that trace amounts, or at least small amounts of
these products can go.

Speaker 2 (01:48:14):
Down your belly and you'll be fine. I wouldn't encourage it,
and I think you took a hard stance, as if
to say, brother, I just had a peroxide tea this morning,
and I've never felt better drink.

Speaker 4 (01:48:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:48:38):
And I think there's a you know, mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:48:45):
And I think there was also a generation where you
could uh hit your wife a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:48:52):
You know what I mean, You just hit her. She
knew she wasn't gonna tell nobody, so the fun got bitch.
You'd say, you know what I mean? And she knew
and everybody knew, and it wasn't a big deal because
that was the way it was. And I'd say, now,
maybe don't do that, don't do either of those. Maybe
don't drink the cast oil, and don't hit your wife

(01:49:15):
and lay let's you. You go up and then you
go so far down. I like it, but I'm sick too.
Hey what's up, yo?

Speaker 8 (01:49:34):
My name's Corey.

Speaker 24 (01:49:34):
I actually submitted one of the episode prompts, I've got.

Speaker 2 (01:49:39):
The tickled baby. Oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 24 (01:49:42):
So my mom actually like said that ship like two
hours before I sent that message, because that was oh okay,
yeah yeah. So there was a night where I took
where we took our son to do you don't have to.

Speaker 2 (01:49:56):
Tell the whole story. You're like, well, I was born
in nineteen eighty seven.

Speaker 4 (01:50:05):
It was a dusty.

Speaker 24 (01:50:10):
The conspiracy is if you tickle an infant, they become
a stuttering adult.

Speaker 7 (01:50:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:50:16):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 24 (01:50:18):
My mom says shit like that all the time. It's
it's it's nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:50:21):
Matter of fact.

Speaker 24 (01:50:21):
I've got another crazy thing that she said, because she's
watching our son right now, make.

Speaker 2 (01:50:28):
Sure he's talking good.

Speaker 4 (01:50:29):
When you get.

Speaker 2 (01:50:33):
You better tip her good because if she tickle them,
you're in trouble. So the thing.

Speaker 24 (01:50:43):
So I told her about the episode and she listened
to and she thought it was hilarious. But then she
text me immediately after and was like, what about cutting
a baby's hair before they're won?

Speaker 2 (01:50:52):
Then they'll never grow? M that I have heard. Yeah,
it hasn't. Nobody's done it to my family. They don't.

Speaker 4 (01:51:01):
I feel like it's very It's like cut you would
you do it?

Speaker 2 (01:51:05):
No? No, My daughter's hair went not gonn. She she
went to school the other day and told everybody she
got a haircut. You're like, what are you talking about it?

Speaker 18 (01:51:13):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:51:14):
She like told everybody in a way that we were
like we me and my wife had to check in
to be like, did you do something.

Speaker 1 (01:51:21):
Teachers were coming up to us and when they were like,
we like her haircut, and We're like, she didn't get
a fucking haircuts.

Speaker 2 (01:51:28):
Kid is a psychopath. She had made up a lady.

Speaker 1 (01:51:31):
She was like, yeah, miss Petunia, you took me to
the salon and miss Petunia did it. I was like, Kensey,
I've never been to the I don't know how miss
but she.

Speaker 4 (01:51:40):
Was like, no, you did that.

Speaker 2 (01:51:42):
Yeah. It feels like she's testing you. She she might
be a genius.

Speaker 4 (01:51:47):
I don't know. But point being, we would never cut
her hair, my son, I don't think.

Speaker 2 (01:51:51):
We would cut it. I've heard that in barber shops
that with lining up a little boy, you line up
a little boy and you're gonna.

Speaker 24 (01:51:57):
Perfectly push soft spots and you can't cut over that.

Speaker 1 (01:52:01):
As baby hairs, So you can't cut that baby hair
too earlier. It ain't gonna grow back. It's what I've heard,
But I don't I don't know that.

Speaker 4 (01:52:07):
I well ve bunny. If a baby had a cold light.

Speaker 2 (01:52:10):
Up, I have. I have seen that. I've seen it,
but nobody.

Speaker 24 (01:52:15):
The theory is that if you cut a baby's hair
on their head, their body doesn't grow like they're.

Speaker 2 (01:52:20):
So no, No, your mother is sick, my man. Yeah,
that's country nonsense.

Speaker 13 (01:52:29):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (01:52:29):
She's from Indiana. There's ship like this that she just
makes up every brother that's too much codd live oil
or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:52:36):
Y'all be drinking.

Speaker 2 (01:52:39):
A thank you, thank you, but it I think we
did it.

Speaker 4 (01:52:48):
Thank you guys so much for being here.

Speaker 2 (01:52:51):
This was great.

Speaker 1 (01:52:53):
We we cannot thank you enough for kicking off the
tour this way. Tell your friends to come see shows
another city like subscribe.

Speaker 4 (01:53:03):
I don't know, bye, bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:53:07):
My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:53:14):
Creetd and hosted by Langston Kreukin, co hosted by David Bori.
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon. Co
produced by Bee.

Speaker 8 (01:53:24):
Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin Kahmon.

Speaker 2 (01:53:27):
Music by Nick Chambers.

Speaker 8 (01:53:29):
Artwork by Dogon Kriega.

Speaker 1 (01:53:31):
You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me
on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe
to our channel

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Hosts And Creators

Langston Kerman

David Gborie

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