Call the Boys in Philly

Jacqueline records live from the greatest hotel in Austin and maybe anywhere, The Hotel St Cecilia. Kate just returned from a trip in a no-name hotel where the sole responsibility of a hotel was not fulfilled. Litigiousness. Bringing joy to the suits. When the card is down and it’s going on the tab. Poog Law begins.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Kate Berlant, I'm Jacqueline Novak, And this is
Poog and the ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends,
two untamable intellects. This is our hobby, this is our hell,
this is our naked desire for free products. This is PUG.
Today's topics, loosely speaking, the boys, the band four Ads
of Years. Hi, bab hi, that's the sweet sound. The

(00:28):
automatic blinds, the hotel Cecilia. Oh my god, ohoa. The
automatic blinds slowly moving up behind my point of gaze
is causing me to feel like I was moving vertical direction,
literal raining. I'm sorry, I see I just I'm on
my second cup of coffee. We were talking about Winter
record Poog and I was like, I need to sleep tomorrow.

(00:50):
I thought maybe I'll wake up at eight six forty
five dollars eyes opening. But again it's because I'm on you.
I knew it would but wow, I knew that would
save me. I have to well. First of all, I
want to first shout out Elmhurst Milk, which is the
nut milk that I had been recommended. I tried. I've
heard the cashe elm Hurst you know, only two ingredients,
very very clean. I heard the cashew Elmhurst was the

(01:13):
way to go. At my local air one, they only
had the hazel nut. Bought the hazel nut. When I
tell you that it's foaming in mine, espresso milk foamer, really,
the foam on it is unbelievable and it's good. And
what I'm gonna do, I'm back on the coconut milk
or royo d Those little pouches. Fuck, they're good. And
guess what if you mix a little bit of that

(01:33):
with the other one, then you have a coconut explosion.
And it's really tastes like coconut. Imagine it does. Royod
is pure cocont makes me most something smelling or tasting
like coconut. It's one of the biggest examples of plus
or minus depends do you mean wanting it or not
wanting it? Like I don't want my coconut oil to
taste like coconut, because I'm not. I'm trying to use

(01:54):
it to make other things, right, oh, right here to
live this coconut flavored lifestyle. I of the coconut and
I'll say, of course, pena coladas obviously are huge for me, Well,
i'll drop this right now. That John and I went
to Jamaica impromptu for four nights, unbelievable, and I was
drinking incredible pina coladas every day, of course, and John

(02:15):
and I were remarking how we both love coconuts so much, coconut,
a coconut cake, a coconut anything, and that for some
people that don't like coconuts so much, it's difficult for
coconut flavoring flavor lovers to be compata some as friends
and lovers. Yeah, it's hard to embrace them as friends
as lovers because coconut some people to be ambivalent to

(02:36):
the coconut flavoring or even to not like it really
hard for me to con you can see I rarely
hear ambivalence. Oh I hear ambivalence like kind of like
all those we all remember from Girl Interrupted, Vanessa Redgrave
explaining that ambivalence is not like I feel nothing. It's
not apathy. There's a thing feel I feel ambivalent towards it.
It's actually ambi valent, pulling violently into directions. Oh fun,

(03:02):
you remember that? No I don't. It was key If
you can't, I mean what something comes to mean, you know, sure, right,
but if you're being pulled equally in two directions, arguably
you are kind of in this stasis in the middle, inert, unmoving.
But it's not the same as regular not moving. It's
it's alive. Well that, by the way, that is the true.

(03:24):
I have a dear friend who was remarking about you know,
it's like, oh, I can't make my mind right. What
I relate to is like do I want this or not?
It's not oh, I don't know. I'm kind of in
the middle. It's a hundred percent don't and damn. And
that sounds like, well, that's exactly what we're talking about.
I know, right, Um the gut, go with your guts

(03:48):
into Have you heard of duality? Get the fuck out?
You heard of learning to live in the gray? It's
so laughable. Who's gut my day? I think people, Well,
this is why I told you. I have another dear
friend who has a pendulum. I'll tell you what this
id like. I have a lot of information about that,
so I'll tell you about pendulums in a minute. Okay,
talk to you about it. Explain it for people who
maybe who don't know what a pendulum is they know,

(04:08):
it's an object hanging at the end of a string
or a or a chain, and sometimes it's a crystals
and the rocks and as the stones and as a shell,
and you dangle it from one hand, and you may
ask it questions. You may establish a relationship with a pendulum. Okay,
it's a divination tool. Let's say it like that way.
So it can be considered a mere extension of your

(04:30):
body or subconscious or you can choose to feel that
it's coming out of elsewhere, right, or they're all one
and the same because you're part of the one. But
you might establish a kind of language where you decide,
you know, my name is Jacqueline. Okay, and it starts
spinning clockwise. You know my name is duncle our Fredman. Okay, Yeah,
it starts spinning left. Okay. That means you know, no,

(04:52):
essentially whatever, or I'm at peace, and it starts sort
of scrambling in the middle, you know, not going either way,
goes dead still. Could also be used like in debor
king energy healing courses, like to check people's chakras, so
they'd lay down on the table and to hold the
pendulum over okay, and it would pick up the energy

(05:12):
of the spinning wheel of the chakra or like you know,
like they get to like the second chakra, and the
ships did still okay, and they're like yeah, shut down
or it's running counterclockwise, which is like a thing like this.
The chakra is not only just shut down and small,
but it's like you know, circling a negative spiral. And
so they would do things like tone over the chakra

(05:34):
like oh, okay, okay to get the chakra into the
vibration and it would be like C note for chakra
one and like D for chakra two. Whatever. But they're
like oh and like the idea was like some of
them are again like another sort of tool that like
if you were like a master healer, you could just
like look at the chakra and be like okay, through

(05:55):
direct intentionality. But early days, when you're learning and you
have less confidence or whatever, this is just all in
kind of language of this idea. What do you believe
it in or not? It's like, yeah, use the tool.
Later the tool might become irrelevant, you know what I mean. Well,
you can imagine, for me, someone crushed by uncertainty. You know,

(06:16):
you can imagine a tool like that for me is
it's it's a slippery slope. My friend who has one,
who she's very not okay, okay, I think because she
has a very close relationship with her pendulum. She like
always has it in her pocket always and she will
do little things from you know, dinner reservation help all
the way to like, you know, are you when this
person meant to be? It sounds like you're looking for

(06:38):
a magic stone, like you're looking for a certainty stone
a pendulum. I know, I just heard about it. Yes,
no machine, Yes, no machine. I mean you're you're, you know,
certainty looking for God in all the wrong places. Yeah,
it feels like it. Um dare I tapped into my
own sense of wisdom. But my sense is no tool
is inherently good or meant for anyone or everyone, right imagic,

(07:03):
you create yourself, you know, like someone can be a
hairdresser and they're doing like work on your top four
chakras and like whether they and like they might say
like I can't do it without giving you a hairclan
who cuts my hair as a riki master. Yeah yeah,
Now you're supposed to ask for permission to do any
healing or can I enter your force field or can
I enter enter your energy field? I don't don't want
the dork hit you have. I told you by the

(07:27):
time I overheard at this crystal shop slash healing place
in like Chicago's in there, and I went in and
there was a crystal bar aka you know, bowls of crystals,
and the kind of idea I was within the time
it was like that you like, you know, move your
hand across it and you stop where you feel compelled
to stop, or you feel energy whatever, engaging with the mystery. Fantastic.

(07:48):
And then of these women in the store who are
like the healers who work in the back, you know,
work in a cash register and they do a healing
shit back, you know. And I do a session with
one woman. She does a lot of sound stuff with
the singing bowls, and she says that, like, my energy
field really reacted to that, which makes sense, I mean,
and you feel the note by the way, I told

(08:09):
you I was a singing bowl person for us. Yeah,
and when you say that, you mean the person who
does the singing bowl that we're going to go to
their studio and lie there. Yeah, it's never done. True.
Question if sound is sound and music is music. Then
is a recording of a singing bowl? Whoa not the same,
because honestly, it seems like it actually might be. Like

(08:29):
sound is sound, vibration is vibration. I mean, I think
then you just get into the aura of the presence
of the ring. Well, I knew you were gonna. I
knew you were gonna not yeah, but wait, wait, wait,
don't go away, hold on here, something's fallen away. I
was distracted. I was looking at the rain because the
rain just started to drizzle at night. Was moved by
it continued when the rain comes in. I mean, well,

(08:52):
because by the way, I've been sitting here going I
was gonna go on a walk, and I'm like, well
it looks like I can't. Oh no, okay, keep going.
Maybe today's Tracy the first time of the drama of
your the walk you've been planning for all morning hours
when you wake up at six forty five, nine thirties
practically dinner time. Yeah, I know. And also, um, but
did you say something about Tracy or deny? I did.

(09:13):
I said, well, maybe it's an opportunity space by inau
girl Tracy day. See there it is again. It's about
narrative and storytelling and certainly, okay, the walk wasn't meant
to be. The rain means that today was the Tracy inauguration.
It is for me. I'm not saying that's negative. I'm

(09:34):
just it's become something we've been chatting about in text.
You did something this morning where I was like you
were like, well no, but what's insane is that that's
not insane and it's like and you wanted it to
be insane so that it would mean like you know,
you're meant to do something or not or whatever, like
oh wait, I want just want to tell you abou
the ladies in the store. Okay, So you go and
then remind me to say something about trial. Okay, keep going.

(09:58):
So I get worked by one lady who was fantastic.
She told me to get a copper ball, which I
did to roll under my feet to pull me into earth.
She also was like talking about like because like going
on stage and like the audience comedy audiences that they're
like drunk and they're like they're down in chakra one
one too, you know what I mean? And like and

(10:20):
like I don't know almost like how do you bridge
the gap? I had someone send me I was actually
trying to find it. I had someone send me like
a warning kind of on Instagram when I started doing
my show New Work, I mean, like loving LYE was
like careful, She's like, you're giving a lot of yourself
out there, and like she just sent me some like casual,
some like gentle warning. Do your energy maintenance. I was like,

(10:42):
don't talk about my crab that way. Oh well, yeah,
And also I do think there's something to like energy
hygiene or whatever. I find kind of compelling, Like you know,
I had to realize that I thought I was okay, okay,
I want to just say the one thing about the
lady and then I want to say something about throwing
your energy out into the world. Okay, help me, help me,
because I'm I'm reconsidering once again add medication. I'm like,

(11:04):
there's must have been advancements in the last ten years. Yeah,
I'm like, maybe it's time, Maybe it's time. So this
one lady I heard kind of being like whatever about
her skill as a healer versus like the other lady
in the shop, And I was like, I actually prefer
the other lady in the shop and the one who
worked for me was fabulous because I didn't hear the
ego that I heard the cash register from this one. Okay. Literally,

(11:28):
she goes, She's like some healers like they do this
and they do that whatever. However she described you know
the others where I just like to get in there,
fix it and get out. Wow. Yeah right. I was like,
and let me guess you leave the dust of a
thousand egos with you. Yeah. Yeah, like the person who
acts like everyone does it differently, but I just do it,
you know, I just do it the best way. Yeah,

(11:48):
come on. And then the whole thing with these healers
is that they have to replenish, right like if they're
like not at the master level yet, right like these
early like in their process intuitives, you know, they don't
manage their own energy. They don't look after themselves. They
just run energy through them in into the client because
they're trying to do it so good and whatever, and
then they get depleted and they get sick. So there's

(12:09):
this like story with Debora King where she was like
she for the first time was doing a live streaming
and I like tuned in this like live streaming healing
workshop and she was putting it out to the live streamers.
And so she did this thing that she normally does
where she builds this sort of energy template around the
workshop right usually in the room that the people are
all in, but this time it was like, okay, it

(12:29):
has to go out globally to you know, all the
students everywhere who you know. So she essentially expanded her
field around the earth okay, and then was like knocked
on her fucking ass after and she had to learn like, oh,
like her shit was like flying out in like the Bardo,
Like it was like like her energy field was just

(12:50):
like a net. And so then she had to learn
to if she's going to do the live stream thing,
to like focus the template more like, no, it goes
directly from my computer to that person's computer. This when
she didn't say that, But there's my interpretation. I know,
I still have trouble robbing my head around because I've
done it, but the the energy workers that do it
on Zoom and all that, because you're not alone and

(13:11):
then and then we'll talk about it. But tell me
explain to me. So that's natural doubter believer. Well, I remember,
here's the thing, this mean psychic who've been to a
couple of times. Yeah, I lost. I went to him
most years and years ago. Um, he's like a fucking asshole.
But he's right, but he's so harsh, it's like really brutal.
And he I saw him once in person. I mean

(13:33):
this is almost ten years ago that I saw him
in person. First of all, he told me that he
told Princess Dinna she was going to die. That's always
a good sign when he when he lists his credits
successful death predictions. He remember, he was like the website.
I grabbed her thighs and I told her to get out.
She was going to die here. He said thighs. Yeah,
he was sexual for sure, but he said thighs. About

(13:54):
he grabbed Princess Diana's thighs, grabbed her by the thighs.
He said, he gripped her by the lay by her.
He said that he was with her in person. No, right,
I just mean she in a skirt suit. Yeah, I
guess the touch of princess. He was sitting across from her,
grabbed her by the thighs and said, get the fuck
out of here. You're gonna die here. Okay. I was like, interesting,

(14:16):
here was the British monarchy. Yeah, because he was at
the freaking palace. And then he told me he was like, oh, yeah,
I don't have to be because I remember at the
time he was like, I could read you on the phone,
and I was like the phone. He was like, I
can get a name in an envelope and I can
write a letter knowing nothing about that person and just
send the letter back. It's funny because I don't doubt

(14:39):
that someone can have that skill, okay, or gift or come.
But he was an egomaniac. I mean, clearly, but the
egomania he was. He was suggested to me, wild, those gifts,
those gifts are gonna leave. No, this is a thing.
This is a thing. This is a real thing I've
heard about. Okay, oh my god, which is if it
falls out of the light, Okay, if you let you

(15:01):
go in too hard, the gifts can leave. Fuck And
you know you must be humble about your gift. And
I don't think that means, like, I don't personally believe.
I've heard people say like, I don't think people should
charge for that kind of work, like spiritual related work.
I disagree. I think you pay people for their time. Yeah,
you're paying people for their time. I mean, if I'm

(15:23):
talking about about labor, I mean the force field, if
you're if you're laid out because you're doing so much
energy work, right, Although they're kind of like if they're
going to go pro, they actually have to learn to
manage that. Well, that's a thing. How many appointments can
you ever, like, go into someone and then there's someone
coming out You're like, wait, there's no time in between,
Like you're going straight from them to me. You're not

(15:44):
taking forty five minutes to lay down. No, I think
that's like a clinical You know, some people I've worked
with that I think are excellent will say we need
to reschedule because I don't believe I I'm depleted or
I'm sick or I'm whatever ever, And I'm like, thank you,
absolutely so cool. So the remote okay, the remote work.

(16:10):
Because I've pitched energy healers to friends and I say,
don't worry. You don't even have to leave your house. Okay,
they don't even have to look at you can just
get on the phone, you know. And it's like this
belief level. This is what I find interesting. It's like
the believer doubter right. We all come up with our
metaphysical rules for what makes sense to us. So I
think for you, you kind of and it's it feels

(16:32):
like you to me, you're like, oh no, it's being
in the presence of the singing bowl teacher, like you
kind of believe it like between like chakras one and
three either, I say, okay, one to four, like almost,
like because those are the ones sort of more connected
to the physical. Yeah, I believe in the theater of
the thing. I don't even know if it's the theater.
I mean it might be the theater. You know, anything
can be theater, I think, like, okay, So for me,

(16:56):
it's sort of like if the ship's real, the ship's real, okay,
And if on the level at which something like radical
and instantaneous like work is being done, time is being
collapsed and space is being collapsed, okay, or if anything,
space is being collapsed. So it's like, if you can't
do it at a you know, at three thousand miles,

(17:19):
why can you do it at one foot? Right? Okay,
I'm not necessarily saying I believe this. I'm just saying
this is a conception I have that I've entertained which
is like, if you're only able to do it at
one foot, it's because you're you are just dumping energy
directly from your personal field to them. Do you see

(17:40):
what I'm saying, You're like scooping up some energy from
the earth under your feet and just hauling it onto
the person. It's relatively more physical if if it's like
like I'm like, it's like lower. No, No, I see
what you're saying. The zoom healing is the the highest form.

(18:00):
I mean, I guess, I am, I guess I am.
I love that you've You've presented a good case. Okay,
I really want to I really want to tell you
a story. Great listen, Okay, listen. As I told you,
John early and I went to Jamaica, very last minute, impromptu.
I went to New York thinking I was coming right
back to LA and basically just convinced John to go

(18:24):
on this vacation. Yeah. And I just want to say
that four nights might as well be seven. Okay, Well,
that's that's big news for you, because you've been huge
news and particularly here. Here's what I'll say. It's all
about the nature of the vacation. But this was a
true resort I mean didn't leave the grounds, right, this
was like and tropical resort vacation. Four nights is actually seven.

(18:48):
And I'll say it again because it's coming mushrooms the
whole time, because I was actually going to say, because
by the way, I said to John maybe six times,
I'm glad not staying for five. But it's so exactly
you were you were. It's like, don't you think four
is actually perfect? Because I remember I said to another

(19:09):
day of lounging by the beach and acknowledge, Yes, I
was like another day laughing, he laughs, he laughs. But
he also agreed because I was like another day of
lounging with the peanut Colotte is on the beach, Like, no,
be too much, I gotta get back to work. Yeah,
I really really couldn't. I mean sure. I just think like,
if the game is to make whatever you chose be perfect,

(19:32):
you'd be capable of doing that. So if you were
forced to have been on that trip for seven days,
imagine if you don't, I don't think you'd be going.
You know, this is too much? Yeah, yeah, you're you're okay.
I don't think you'd be going this is too much.
I think you'd be going. The great thing about when
you do seven because you get there and you do
the peanut cloude, you do the grass, and by day
four it okay, this is you on the next trip. Okay,
this is because having had done this previous rationalization. It's true.

(19:54):
You get to day four, you got I get it,
panic Clotte on the beach. Oh. Then that lays the
base where now you actually feel comfortable leaving the grounds
for a night to even go to the restaurant someone recommendable. Yeah, whatever,
all doubt and you're correct the way and not at
the story. So so here's the thing. So we go
to we're in Jamaica. It's you know, I mean I

(20:18):
went to Jamaica, but really I went to a resort,
you know how I mean, You're like, I was in
the grounds right for a night? Yes, yes, unbelievable me
hesitant to say where it was because they didn't give
me discount. I'm like, you're not getting the on air,
you're not going. Well, that's the whole thing advertisement without
the rate reduction, sweetie, that's the whole thing. And by
the way, here I go dropping. I spent my I

(20:38):
went from Jamaica back to New York for a night,
had a gorgeous day at the Ludlow. And by the way,
going home to the Ludlow, it's like going home. I
get there. Yeah, home to the Ludlow always. Um. It
was my first time staying in a Queen loft by
the way, just one night. Unbelieable. Just to make it okay,
one that will wolf. I stay at the Ludlow for

(20:58):
basically a month in a really really tiny room. Okay,
still loved it. Would side with the light every night
going to sleep. This I have to say, hellly shit.
The loft is quite large. And then in the bathroom,
separate dedicated tub with a window view out. I was
on a high floor, so you know, it's really interesting.
I have a huge tip for the listener if they

(21:19):
go to Letlow. Are you ready for this? Yeah? So
when I was there, I stayed in I think the
Studio Queen, right, Yeah, that's what I was living in.
Pretty sure it was the Studio Queen. And it's just
it feels like the most just romantic, almost like boarding
house in the sense of I mean, like Joe goes
to New York Little Women, Okay, I mean in the

(21:39):
sense of like it doesn't look like a hotel in there.
It looks like a lovely bedroom exactly to me. Yeah, no,
no, no no, the sconces alone. Yeah, the sconce is the lighting.
It's like it's like a normal bed, like like it's wooden,
four poster bed. It's not like bolted into the wall
and everything's like bolted into the wall. So totally it
feels like you're in this like dream amy modest. It's fantastic.

(22:03):
Right now. The room below the studio, queen, you're ready
for this, so I forget what it's called. It's a
studio mini. Yeah, maybe that's what it is, because it's
not the one with the single beds or whatever. That
room does have a bathtub in front of a window.
Well there it fucking is because I've stayed in the
mini with a bathtub. Yep. And I'll say, and I

(22:24):
have to say, I just mean to say bathroom at
a hotel to find the experience, And I'll say it
one more time. The bathroom is the room. The bathroom
is the room that is everything. And that's the Ludlow
has in spades the gorgeous bathrooms. And yes, I stayed
at a mini, very small, well appointed gorgeous. And then
you're in a bathtub with a window. I mean, when

(22:48):
you go for it and use the language. Okay, but
that's a really good tip. And then I'll just say
so home to the Ludlow. I get into the Queen Loft,
loved it beautiful, and I order. I did not get
the burger. What I got was my other favorite thing
on the on the menu, which is the sun choke
kale salad with chicken. Interesting, you would want something with

(23:09):
a sun choke. I mean your name might just will
be sun choke. It's like if caper land was an
item in a in a warm salad, what would she be?
Sun chokes? I had artists. My mom would serve artichokes
constantly in an art choke loving household. Yes, artichoke was
was significant, I feel like in my home. Not she
did not she I don't know. She did not like it,

(23:31):
just a word referring to the farmaid of the house
like my mother. I was just like, it wasn't the
artist choke. It wasn't the artist choke with a thing
of butter. But I feel like artichoke. I was served
the full like my father, my mother and I each
with a huge artichoke eloise and her artichoke and the
leaves piling up. I mean that was That's such an

(23:51):
image of my childhood. Wait really, back to the Ludlow. Yes, no,
I'm not done, So you got your sun choke. Back
home at the Ludlow, I took a gorgeous bath, looking

(24:13):
out over the city in my robe, moaning eating the
sun choke salad. I just was like, this is it's
eat it the salad in the bathtub. Eat the salad
in the bathtub. Now you heard me? Because you know
I'm I'm into that sort of thing at times. I
ate it on the bed and even asking in the bed,
eating in the bed. I don't know if I dropped
all of the photos that I had from staying at
the San Francisco, the proper San Francisco, which is one

(24:35):
of my absolute favorite experiences. I've never stated at a
proper you should San Franz. I would highly recommend, and
I want to try them all, but I literally will
never probably try the one in Austin, because I will
never not do what I can to get to the
hotel Saint Cecilia and look, I told them I would.
I wouldn't hide the fact the existence of the hotel
because they deserve the recognition. Yes, I remained terrified. The

(24:58):
only thing I can be at PEC is that I
don't know how many poog hags can roll through Austin
at a given time. So last time I was here,
it was ecstasy. They have this Turkey club that I
was getting by the pool. Okay, the espresso over ice
is pristine. And I get here and I'm like, I
wonder if Cassie's still there. Okay, a woman who works

(25:19):
here and named Cassie, who just I just remember the
words like Nobel Peace Prize coming to mind when I
thought about her service. Okay, when people understand customer services
such a fucking degreat customer service sign the word hospitality,
you know, there are people who get it and then
there are people who fake get it. It's like literally
the difference between it's souvenir tiger versus tiger. Okay, it's

(25:42):
doing an impression of an impression versus like organically the thing. Okay,
having the eye to adapt in the moment. There is
no one true choice, there's no one thing where it's
better for them to do this. They just know it's
having the fucking hospitality gift to make the right choice.
So I'm thinking about, like, I wonder if she's still there.

(26:02):
I hope she is. By the way, a lot of
the people recognized we're still here, and I think that's
a good sign. Absolutely, But the people like it enough,
so who knows. But I go in and I'm like,
there's no way she's gonna remember me. I just go like,
I go, Cassie, you're coming in the first morning. Okay.
She's like, yeah, how are you? Okay? And I'm like,
gonna order She's like, Espresso's rocks. No, yeah, why you're yeah, okay.

(26:29):
I could write a paper about okay, And I want
to even be dead clear, she didn't do espresso rocks.
She didn't perform the fact of her own knowledge as
though it was. So let's cut back to I'm in
New York two summers ago, on my daily trek to
the theater. Okay, on day two, in a cafe, they

(26:51):
start making my drink. They're seeing me. You'll recall wrong,
dead wrong, right, the wrong order, but that you And
then I went to correct and then someone shushed in
the back and said, no, no no, no, that's not the drink,
and still set out the wrong drink. Okay, So let's
just comparison to say an old Poog episode. Dig through
the archives if you have to, Okay, Okay. And it
wasn't about showing off that she knew it. And even better,

(27:12):
I didn't even feel pressured, which can happen to get
the regular order when maybe this timber one something else.
Of course, you don't want to break the it's so cool.
They remember you're like the usual and you just want
to have the usual experience. So it wasn't like especial.
Oh and that will lengthen your life, and that will
lengthen your life. And I will say that Cassie there,
she's going to live to be one hundred and four. Yeah,

(27:32):
because that will lengthen your life. Those kinds of interactions.
And I sent you some fucking interview about this. But
it's like, but this is huge. Everyone has to hear it.
That one of the ads years rapport as years, let's say,
one of the major things that they can look to
as lengthening one's life, adding longevity to one's life, it's not.

(27:55):
It's community. And by the way, it's positive social interaction.
And they're not even talking about deep friendships and family.
I repeat, God, they're not talking about friendships and family.
They are talking about and they even say the conversation
with the barista. Feeling connected to people in that way
that adds longevity. It's not about your relationships, which you

(28:16):
know is murky. Territory involves a lot. They're talking about
those daily interactions, those feelings of ripa with around you.
That is what adds year years. So Cassie at the hotel,
she'll live to be one hundred and nine. I just
added a few years to the life expectancy because she

(28:38):
has a people and there are such a poetry to
moving to the world that way, it's it's the whole
thing in Saint Cecilia, and Cecilia is the saint of
travelers and musicians. Okay, no, And then it's small and
it's sort of on this like this old house. Celia
has a gorgeous name. Absolutely have you ever met Cecilia.
I don't think Celia, but Cecilia, yeah, and uh, cecil

(29:02):
isn't another one. But I was like walking around going okay,
which I don't know if if that's a pronunciation anywhere,
but I was like, I was like, oh, daughter, I
don't know. Cecilia though, almost feels a little too on
the nose for your daughter. The Cecilia word is like
curls to me, like in as soon as Theesia way,

(29:25):
like Cecilia is curls like the curling hair. So I
just want to say. So, there's an old house kind
of kind of thing, right, and there's a little gate
and you walk in. There's a little neon sign that
like suggests you're at the right place. And then you
you walk in the gate old house and then they've
built the newer poolside bungalows, and they don't try to
make the newer poolside bungalows look like some fake version

(29:46):
of the old house. They're like, no, these are new,
and there's elegance and confidence in that choice. Next, there's
these two ancient trees. Okay, that was confirmed last time, okay,
and they are exactly just I mean, I'll post a picture.
There are a big part of the property. There is

(30:06):
a vibe. Chris and I sit there on the patio.
There's this gorgeous patio area. Every time this happens, I
mean this time, in the last time, we sit there
trying to analyze why it's so good trying to locate
where another place would have gone wrong. Okay, here's one example.
So there's this lawn kind of in the center. This
lawn area's sloping. It's natural like because it's just like

(30:26):
a property where the tree, the two trees are. We
were like any other hotel would have felt the need
to stick a few chairs down there or something. Chris
was like, or worse chessboard, big chessboard. Okay. Oh, Chris
was like, yeah, of course, and Chris hates the chess board.
And Chris was like, even I would have put a
chessboard there. He was like, I don't know if I

(30:47):
would have known not to. We're staring and we're fuck.
It's they didn't have to hotel up that part. Oh
there it is. I get home. I race from the show.
I'm hurrying things up at the merchant table because I
want to get in in time, okay before the kitchen clothes,
et cetera. Whatever, and the cocktails are divine and normally
get there there it's just see sort of margarita or whatever.

(31:09):
It's time. I'm sitting there and I go, all right,
I'm gonna change it up. I'm studying the menu, and
there's something called the Mystic Lady on it, okay, and
I'm like, it's like referencing burgamot and like foam. I
love foam in a cocktail. It's referencing camemeal. And I
think the spirit is gin, which is not usually where
I go. Okay, okay, but the overall thing, Cassie comes over.

(31:31):
I call, you know, I usually get just like the margarita,
but something about the Mystic Lady is calling me and
she goes it's really good, and she's like, actually, that's
that One's mine. She invented it. I love Okay, it's okay, yes,
I'm getting it. She walks away. When she comes back
bringing it back, it's it's like a you know, coope glass,
a soft purple liquid with a foam and then these

(31:53):
little stars, these little gold stars sprinkled across the top. Okay,
and like I don't even know what they're they're made
of but something that melts, but not immediately the stars remain.
I have photos of it good and I just go.
When she came back, I just go, are you the
Mystic Lady? She just kind of was like, yeah, you
know what I mean. But it was so not you

(32:15):
go that. I don't even know how to understand. I
can't wait to get you to we should do exact
to do something here. And then again this is my illness.
But as you're talking, I'm just like, I'm excited for
our vacation. I know, okay, And again I want to
make it clear the Cecilia, the Ludlow listen to the
treatment they're getting on the podcasts. From the heart. I
will not utter the name of the place I stayed

(32:36):
in Jamaica if they did not offer it, if they
did not want it. It's not about punishing those places.
So it's not it's about honoring the ones that do
yes to maintain the value for the Cecilia or for
that to maintain the value right or the proper gave
me a glorious discount, Yeah, in San Francisco, to maintain
the value for them. We cannot honor the other the partners,
PUG partners, because they have the PUG stamp, and we

(32:58):
are going to work on trademarking that. Okay, we are
in Jamaica. So the final night, John, the night and
by the way, beautiful bar. Again, you said that the hotelification,
the bar overlooking the ocean. Beautiful, not hotelified, just very again,
just romantic, not fussy, really really pretty. Okay. The point
is final night, we're leaving dinner. We hear incredible music playing.

(33:20):
We're like, what's going on? Like where is this band
coming from? We stumble upon what is clearly a private party.
There's a long table and there are like fifteen so
we had heard from because of course you made friends
with um Don who took him out, you know, snorkeling,
and he was like, oh there's these there are lawyers.

(33:42):
He was donkey hotel or a guest sorry hotel. Okay,
so what the point is? It was like, I have
some lawyers staying here. Oh my god, I clocked the lawyers.
We've been tracking them. We go, we stumble upon what
is a private lawyer. We can charm their asses? Well
the band fucking rules okay, talk seven piece band, and
the lawyers aren't dance, sing as you can imagine. They're

(34:05):
by the bar getting hammered. You know. It's like all
these it's like these like men, these like little sweat
on the back of an overly long shoulder, like white
guys like yeah, you know, I go John we're crashing
this party, right, my god. Of course we go in.
We start dancing from the heart again. We're not dancing
because it's like, oh, we're dancing because we're fucking moved

(34:26):
by the fucking game. And you know what, did you
see someone catch a glimpse their eye kind of over
their buddies blue shirt and shoulder. Yeah. A few people
start looking at us because but it's not a big party.
I want to be clear, twenty people a small party.
John and I clearly don't belong. Very risky, highly risk
people are looking over at us. We're dancing. The band goes,

(34:48):
this is our last song, and it's that thing too
where it's like, oh no, like they're used to performing
for tourists, so it's like a reggae like and they're
playing like you know, every little thing's going to be
all right right or something. And I was like, no,
that can't be it no more more more. Were you
actually calling out? I'm calling it out, don't stop. So
one of the guys, of course, one of the gay lawyers,

(35:08):
came up to us something like, are you guys those
comedians or whatever? We're like yeah. So then I start
chatting him up and I go listen, the band cannot
be done. You need to tell your boss to like
add a couple more hours to the fucking thing or whatever.
I watched this happen in real time, sweetie. Okay, you
sorry exactly. I watched this partner with a cigar in

(35:28):
his hand. Something creativetle negotiation happens. They start playing partner
the gay lawyers. Not no, the gay lawyers, not the
part to be clear. Yeah, this other guys spoken to
the cigarment. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting too excited. I'm
forgetting the order. I'm getting into the order. Okay, So
the gay guys like da da da. I'm like, you
gotta tell your boss to get the band to play
more because it was like ten o'clock. I'm like, they
can't be done. This is you know, I am by

(35:50):
the bar cigar man lawyer. I hear you guys are comedians, right,
and I'm like, yeah, we start trying to and go
you gotta get that. He goes, We're you know, we're
a law firm in Philadelphia. By the way, this like
hammer drunk and this is my until will come later.
This hammer drunk lawyer comes over to me or the
best law firm in the world. No, no, no no, this

(36:10):
is too much. Okay, okay, drunk out of his fucking
mind leaves. I'm talking to the lawyer and he's got
the cigar at one points and then the were in
those sales. I'm wearing my Target, so again, want to
be clear, when did jamake it from New York? All
I had were winter boots and winter coats. I had

(36:31):
this only winter gear. I emergency ran to Target, which
is where you go when you have a trip to swimsuits,
flip flop and the only places everything and honey, it
was dead winter thirty percent off and the Exhilaration brand
continues to surprise and delight every season. That's all all
I know is I had the only thing I needed
for my trip. So I'm wearing but okay, but the

(36:51):
partner is talking to me. He's got a cigar. He goes,
does this bother you cigar? Okay? I go, No, I go,
and where I go It reminds me of my childhood.
Oh my god, he goes, oh, did your dad smoke
his cigar? I was like no, but his friend used
to I'm like you I know, no, No, I'm loving
what am I doing? No, No, he was. He and

(37:13):
John and I both felt he was flirting with both
of us. We're like, we're like, wait, he's like okay, okay,
I'm sure. So I'm like, we gotta get the band
to play more. And then I watch in real time managing.
This is you. You've locked in that tonight. There's more
like you've decided the band has to play more, and
you're like a dog with a bone. Okay, keep going, Sorry,

(37:34):
it's just essential part of your personality. Well, I locked
it in. I watch him go over talk to the
lead singer, they work it out, they start playing. I
go over to the bar and I go, I want
seven beers for the band right now. Oh my god,
you're not getting them beers. And I carry over red
stripes to the bands. So fun on the company task.
They're also needless to say, I know they start drinking

(37:58):
beer on the company tab. Wait, hold on, yes, yes,
it's on the company top. Did you say it's on
the company to Did you know it was just happening
by virtue of I just knew. I knew that it
was a private party. I knew that it's a twenty
person party. And he sees that you've been talking to
the partner. I had a tequila soda on the company.
Yeah yeah, no, no no, no, I'm in. I'm in. What
are they gonna do? Hey, you can't have drinks here? No, no, no, no,

(38:21):
not after we're dancing and making them experience. I literally
the entire reason they came in the beginning, the entire
reason they came on the vacation is spontaneously. Sometimes you
have to be for someone else, the entire reason they
came on the vacation. You have to actually serve that
up a lot in life. Oh, I mean, if you're
if rapport, you know. So I so, I I go
over and give them beers, and I'm like, you know,

(38:43):
I want to go. I want to hear what you
guys want to play? Oh my god, Kate, they got
me com playing anything. I'm like, I know, but like,
what do you guys like? I'm just like, I'm sure
you get They start to fucking, Oh my god, crank
it out. I'm on my knees at one point, dancing
so hard. I'm I'm feeling it's so hard. I'm on
my knee. Story, and I want to be clear that
ocean the ocean is at night. Crash. God, we're on

(39:04):
the beach. The music is unbelievable cool. We're getting down
so hard. I and then and by the way, people
are starting to dance. Suddenly some of the lawyers are
starting to dance. Oh my god. Then it goes even
further and I go up and I go, what do
you guys want? You want a shot? Who the band again? Yeah?
They go, yeah, we'll te tequila shots. I go to bargle, Hey,

(39:25):
I'd like to buy. Yeah. I didn't say I'd like
to buy, because but I was just like, can we
get some tequila shots for the band? I watched them
open a brand new bottle of Petrond and they pour thick,
heavy shots. Holiday poor Holiday, poor shots. I take them
over the band. I just want to say that it
was a joy to buy tequila for the band on
the company card. We're dancing, having a great time. Everything's great.

(39:46):
The partners like, oh, if you're ever in Philadelphia and
all of this forever in Philadelphia will represent you. Yeah. Um.
John of course was like, I'm trying to schoo someone
in Philadelphia, and like I thought it was real. Of course,
Oh my god, Like no, we're Joe, Okay, I guess what.
I thought it was real when you just said it,
despite John constantly telling lies, okay as gags, I believe

(40:08):
every single one. Yeah, yeah, Well, the same thing happened.
We were talking about one of the lawyers and the
lawyer was like, what do you like? What's up with
you guys? And John was like, we're here with our kids,
oh my gospel. No it's not real, but they think
it's real, you know, just it's constant, Okay, So the
point is he's not a control. Finally, the band closes. Finally,
the band really does end, incredible set loving. You were like,
that's the perfect time to the the end. You're like, that

(40:29):
was the perfect time to end. I couldn't have danced
the single more time. If they played one more song,
that night would have been ruined, ruined. Ru Yeah. Yeah,
we've been over so great night, John, The Knight's our

(40:53):
final night. We're like remarked, We're like, we cannot believe
that the Knight ended with that, Like the trip ended
with that, just unbelievable. We go back to our room,
we're sharing this room. It's round twelve thirty. I hear
all of a sudden, wait, wait, you know, so it's scarier.
So okay, So we're in this unbelievable lagoon cottage on
the watery, fucking psychotic Okay, it's the nice suspice I've

(41:15):
ever stayed. And we're in there and we hear something.
We're brushing our teeth together, his and her sins, and
we hear like something that is enough to make us
both kind of turn around and go what was that?
And it kind of kind of ooh, a little scary, like, oh,
you know, is it a fucking like animal? Like what
the hell? So we hear that, we're kind of scared,

(41:37):
but then we immediately dissolves. We're brushing our teeth. John
goes into the bedroom area. I'm in the bathroom and
I hear I hear John say, whoah you guys. I
go in. Two drunk lawyers are standing in our wait no, no,
no, no no. My adrenaline shoots through the roof. Two drunk

(41:58):
men in the room here to clearly rape and murder.
I start to scream. I don't scream. I go get
the fuck out of it. The hell. John goes out. First,
you're still in the bathroom, and then you hear John say, guys,
John I'm in the bathroom, but it's like one open.
I hear John go, I cheered John, as if a
puppy has wandered in. I heard John say like, whoa

(42:19):
you guys, like, what are you doing here? I go in.
So they entered. The fear out at the door they entered.
They entered. So they're standing at the door and people
have kind of argued that walked in. They've already walked
on shann guys. So John really is like, guys. I
was like, okay, so give me, let's give it. Give
it to me for real. I say, what the hell?
And I'm like and one of them, so one of

(42:41):
them is the gut one best long firm in the world,
the super hammered guy, and then a less hammered but
still very hammered guy. The very hammered guy is walking
in and he's fully in. The other guys still kind
of lingering out the doorway, and they're like, this is
our room. This is my room. I go, this is
not your room. They're like, this is our room. And
I'm like, scary, it's not your fucking room. I was like,

(43:03):
you need to get the hell out of here right now.
And I walk outside, encourage them to get outside and
to be in more public space. And just because I
didn't feel I soon realized, Okay, they're not being aggressive drunk.
They're actually so hammered, and I think they actually are confused,
like something's going on that I don't understand. But this
is the scariest thing in the world, and there's a
good chance they are staying in a lagoon room. Yeah,

(43:25):
I don't feel they need to scream, like, but because
it's also the resort's small. It's like if I were
to scream, everyoneould here or whatever, but this one guy
won't get the fuck out of here. And he's like,
this is my suitcase, Like that is not your suitcase
and it's our Like is John John not protecting me?

(43:47):
I peacocked, I was pumping. I was like you, and
I was like you would like the masculine energy switch
got churned and I was like, get the if that hell?
Do I not have this on film? This is devis
I know, I know. So I'm like yelling loud enough,
being like get your fucking get the hell out of it.
Whatever they wander out, we close. You're not ducking conversational

(44:09):
at all. You're not like I feel like I would
just know, get the fuck out. You know, I'm pure anger.
I have the adrenaline surging. I'm like, how the hell
are they in here? What's going on? Are they? You know?
But then I'm again I'm also clocking, Okay, they're not
being like physically aggressive or anything like they're they truly
are so hammered. But I there's nothing worse on earth

(44:30):
than drunk people. Like it's just the scariest. It's like
like the last of us, like the zombies, like just alcoholism,
like if it's all around, and it's like and I'm
just like so scared of them because they're so out
of their minds. And so I immediately call the front
desk and I'm like, Hi, there are two drunk lawyers

(44:50):
lawyers because I know they're from the ritreat. I'm like,
they're two drunk men from the lawyer retreat. They're in
our room. They got in. The guy's like, okay, lock
your door, like many sense security. I was like, yes,
you do need where they out? Yet? Where they where
they out? Yeah, they're out, they're out. But I closed
their door and by the door, and I'm like, and
you call the hell did they get in there, how
the hell? And then and John was like, was the
door open? Maybe the door was open. I was like,

(45:11):
the door was not open. I opened the door and
closed it. There's no fucking way that door was open.
So I call the front. I hear and then I
hear one of them outside the our key worked for
your room or something like, well, how did we get in?
So there's a there's an identical lagoon cottage directly across. Okay,
I think, okay, this is so I'm like, maybe the
lawyers becomes First of all, wait, don't forget their lawyers,

(45:32):
so watch their defense closely. What work? So because I'm
still like, we can't. Well, by the way, I'm like,
imagine being dead asleep and the door opens and there
are men in there. I mean, that's literally your life's ruined.
Can't sleep over again. I mean, but the point is
they're gone. So I watched them. I go, Okay, they're in.

(45:54):
I go, so clearly that still can't across the way
that is their room. But like what the hell? They
weren't angry like I wasn't. I was like, Okay, we're
going to sleep, sleep like a baby. But oh, I
said to John. So as soon as they left, I go,
this room is free, I say to John, And I'm
walking around. I'm walking around the room, so sure I go.

(46:15):
If they think we are paying for this night? Now,
is your belief and tell me if this isn't even
coming into it? Okay, But is your belief that the
key of the of men was the keys were made
in situation that there's no security because these other guys
keys does open our door? Is that what you'd be
coming at the hotel is in your mind? Yeah, I'm
just kind of like, how is this possible? But yeah,

(46:36):
their keys worked hard. If that's true, right, that's insane,
that's true. Then the night yeah, okay, anyway, you know,
wake up, have coffee fucking breakfast on the lagoon, diving
right into the water from the room. What in the
bout in the morning, do you see the lawyers or anything? No?
So I so I'm terrified of seeing the lawyers, right,
And I was like, because I was like, John and
I are gonna be swimming all morning outside the lagoon,
and the lagoon if they come out and try to

(46:57):
talk to us, I'm going to be like, hey, hope
You're like but then I'm also realizing, Okay, this was
a mistake, Like they weren't intruding, thinking it was his
suitcase isn't. Here's what I can't get over them walking
in and the one guy not leaving, not leaving. That's
where I'm like burning hell. There's a woman screaming at
you get the fuck out, and you're just standing there
and they're just trying to argue the case. Yeah, I

(47:18):
mean he wasn't he the one guy, you mean, the
less drunk, the more drunk guy. The more drunk guy
wouldn't leave, and the other one did like that, he
left like trying to get the one is in the
doorway and I start screaming at him, get your fucking guy,
get get him. And he's like he's like, oh, whatever
his name is, Like, let's go right. I'm like, no, physically,
go get him right now. Physically go get didever occur

(47:40):
to you and or did you. I'm not suggesting this,
I'm just curious because my mind, I'm putting myself in
the cercas to physically like push his drunk body towards
the door. So I didn't want to touch. No, So
I didn't want to touch at all. And I was
waiting in the door and I stimulate yeah, And I
just like even in the moment, I was like, he

(48:00):
was so drunk, he still wasn't fully leaving, and I
had the urge to kind of John said, he like
put his hand on his back kind of firmly to
lead him out, but didn't push. And I'm still like,
when it comes out, I'm like, is he gonna like
turn around sock me? Like, I just don't know, like
he's because he so fucking XS in his eyes. Gosh, yeah,
might as well be dead, right. I'm like, anyway, in

(48:21):
the beautiful glow of the morning, I'm like, maybe we
won't get the room free. I'm like maybe No, Here's
what I want to know. What do you think or
aren't you still wondering what happened and why they got in?
And are you dead sure you closed the door, because
I would assume knowing you, you're pretty fucking sure if
you closed the door or not. The door was closed
and that is fully confirmed, the door was completely closed.

(48:42):
What do you think I'm entitled to? Was there any
follow up by the hotel and morning? No? That was
checkout day. What do you feel? I mean, how much
outrage or is there not? Am I overreact? Did you
feel outrage at the hotel? Because do you believe the
key opening? Yes? And I felt I felt yeah, I

(49:03):
guess at that point I thought their key opened our door.
You know, would be an ugly I don't know what
this would prove or do. An ugly little thing would
be to switch your room key at the party so
that the lawyer switches his room key with yours, pulls
it out of your little purse, okay, whatever, and then
uses that to get in your room and be like,
but my key work. Look look no, oh my god.
I know, like i'd be like curious about like security camera.

(49:24):
I don't know, I would be curious about what happened. Okay.
So we go to check out. Everyone's been lovely that
works there. It's been a great experience. And I say
to the woman at the front, did they talk to
you about what happened last night? And she's like, no,
what happened? I tell her, and she's like, oh, be honest,
she's not as horrified as I would like her to be.

(49:46):
I was like they were like drunk and like wouldn't
get out. We had to like scream at them. I
was like, it was pretty awful. It was like pretty
scary there when they first came in. It was like,
you know, but I'm like, well, she can't like these guys.
Whatever she says they're is a thing because our cottage
is normally it's like people are renting that whole area.
So it's like I don't want a batchelor weekend or

(50:07):
whatever the fuck. So the two villas the key word
for both, that's and she she alerted you to that.
She just admitted that, yes, Kate, I'm in shock. That
is absolute negligence. That is absolute. That's insane. What do
you hear? What do you what is the proponsibility a

(50:30):
room with a lot. So it's like, you don't pay
for the room, you know? So I said, I said,
you pay for the horror to leave, you know, said
I said. And she kind of said that like she
was like, I'll alert the it people. I was like yeah,
and I kind of because she so relaxed about it,
I was like I te people, oh my god, yeah
or something and I was like whoa and I and
I wasn't you know, I just said, is there anything

(50:52):
you can do for us? I was like, that's that
seems pretty you know, crazy that their key would work
for room. She goes, I'll be right back. I hear
on the phone talking to someone and she comes back,
and she goes, I talked to our manager. He's sincerely sorry.
He wanted to give you everything. We're going to take
two of your dinners off the tab. I'm sorry. Nope,
this is bad enough that I don't Oh my god,

(51:13):
I didn't get like, oh you didn't get it in
a moment right there, and I think you still have recourse.
This is insane, this fucking rules. I'm gonna email them today.
I'm gonna email them today, like I feel like they're
because listener, correct me if I'm wrong. Hold in another
guest key doesn't work for your exactly, it's the number
one at a roadside motiel. Also like there must I

(51:34):
mean not to but not to have to call the
boys in Philly, but like legally surely like to run hotel.
There are certain like basic things. Okay, actually it's an
interesting idea. You should get the Philly boys themselves represent you.
I know, we sue them. We could have assaulted her
in the courtroom, by the way, that's almost the difference

(51:56):
I'm like, if I had been if I had been alone,
I would have lost my fucking mind and I would
have Okay, so you're saying this is huge jackrid. So
you're saying I should email and say it just doesn't
sit right with me paying for that final Oh my god. Okay, No,
it just doesn't sit right with you're not calling the
cops in my opinion, and taking massive legal action final night.

(52:21):
I mean, okay, there's a couple thoughts. One, I've never
taken legal action. Okay, I know nothing about legal action.
I'm I'm speaking nearly in the world. I would never whatever,
Like what happens if the hotel has bad wiring in
their room, okay, and a minor fire started and they
put it out, and it's because they had bad wiring
like that they installed. Because here's the thing, it's not

(52:43):
even accidental. It's like essentially a policy. I'm actually, as
you're talking, I'm like, oh, we're not paying for that
final night. Honey keep saying final night, whole trip plus
plus a free one next year their sister property. I know, night, Kate.
What I'm trying to suggest to you is that you

(53:04):
were put in literal danger literal danger. I know, okay,
I know, by the way, we could have John and
I could have been having sex. Well you know what
I'm just saying. Yeah, they came in twelfth three, we
could have been by that it wouldn't been the case.
And under any circumstance, could have been naked, could have
been fucking, could have been asleep, could have been could
have been mid proposal I could we could have been
mid breakup. Well, these are not again again, I go

(53:26):
back to assault, Kate. You're like, it's not about like
we could have been having the finest steak dinner of
our lives. Okay, by the way the lawyers say we
would the lawyers getting on my side, we could have assaulted.
I mean, well, this is what you said. You're the lawyer. Boys,
you had done to Philly, Okay, okay, and you roll
in and you say, boys, there's two options. You can
either be dragged into this case as a witness, or

(53:51):
you can take the case and you'll fight your goddamn right,
You'll just fight your goddamn ass off to get me
a settlement. Or I don't know, I don't know. There's
there's something, there's something poetic to be gleaned here. But
but to me, it's one thing if there's negligence, I
mean I think it even goes more than the negligence
because it's like systemic. It's how they so the key

(54:13):
thing because what she said was key, the key work
for both. She goes, you're staying on this part of
the It's like, so, okay, picture this the cottages. Right,
there's one like big main house that's between the two cottages.
It was not occupied. No, I get it. Us and
the drunk guys had the little front cottages. Yeah, so

(54:34):
it's just always at those keys. The keys should not
work for other room to the two flanks. But do
talk to me, Talk to me, Talk to me. I mean,
what would you do? So I email they're safe in
the room. Yeah, that was safe, and they're really pushing
the safe. They were like, lock up. I've never used
the safe in a hotel in my life. Like the
safe is there and there was little it was like

(54:54):
you know, but I was like using the we're not responsible,
yeah no, and that. But I point that out to me,
like like hotel rooms recognize the danger, like the secondary level,
which is like a key work for drunken lawyers. On
Kayton John's room and they came in and in the
night and the keys programmed to work that way. They
explained it too, and there was we had just scream

(55:15):
at them, scream at them to get out because it's
part of this area that normally people will rent, like
they'll rent all four cottages, okay. And so these guys
drunkenly stumbled into their room and they're like, the key work,
the key work, what do you mean this is our room,
that's my suitcase okay? And the hotel And next morning
is like, yeah, well actually the keys do you work

(55:37):
for both of those? I actually was genuinely terrified they
could have been fully beaten up anything. Yeah, so tell Chris,
Tell Chris, we got two dinners. Calm, two dinners, Chris.
That's when you start using the word unacceptable. Does Chris
think we should get a free knight? So Kate is asking,
does Chris think Kate and John's get a free night?

(55:58):
There it is, but the whole thing he said shocked this. Okay,
kids obsessed with that night. Well I wasn't almost assaulted
the previous night. Yes you were, Yes you were. They
just happened not to stumble in that night. Oh my god,
I mean whatever to me, it's not about like playing
like the Pug game, about about free stays, because of

(56:19):
course I am like, it's an egregious safety failure, by
the way. Imagine, and I'm not gonna do this. Imagine
if I go to Yelp or even right here, fuck Yelp,
even here on Puog, I go, hey, if you stay
at this place, other people have a key to your robe. Yeah,
so enjoy, enjoy. Oh it's gorgeous, it's amazing. But anyone
can get in there and getting rid m Yeah, by design,

(56:42):
by policy, not it can happen due to Okay, I'm
sweating because I'm so excited too. So I'm basically I'm
gonna text I'm scared. Are you scared? No, Like, I'm
almost like scared You're gonna go too soft again, and
like just be like, can we get the cocktails free?
To I just like, I know what should I say?
Which I think I'm gonna says, Hi, we had a
beautiful stay, blah blah blah, this happened. I'll talk about

(57:05):
how terrifying it was, what shit fucking was, and then
I'm just gonna say it just doesn't sit right with me, Like, see,
it's still not quite there where it is for me.
I'm not sure what the beautiful stay thing is all
about for you at this point. I mean, I guess
is it because you want to go back and you're
hoping that they give you, like you know, a tower
of perfideral with like a at the top. So you're saying,

(57:26):
you're saying, I remember it almost happened last time. So
what would you do un the hotel? What would you
do if you were me? Well, I would probably google
a little bit about what legally because if you think,
you know, questions of when safety has not been brought
up before in a hotel, you know, there's a world
of stories out there. So it's sort of like I'd

(57:47):
probably google a little and just be like, you know,
the primary expectation of a motel six is that you know,
I'm not at home, but I can stay somewhere where
I can guarantee a roof over my head that no
one but me as the key do as the primary
expectation of a hotel, Yeah, and um, I was alerted

(58:08):
not that a glitch or some kind of error of
mere negligence had occurred but that by design and policy,
the adjacent you know rooms had access to my room
for the entirety of this day. Uh. If I had
found that out, I would have been, you know, really upset,
like if nothing had happened. But I found that out. However,

(58:29):
I did find it out to find drunken, profoundly drunken
men had entered my room using a key, would not leave,
see like, because I almost what I try to focus
on carefully confused, They were right, it's funny, it's it's funny,
like you know by by way by by Jaculine Jackulin Chacko.

(58:51):
I left their careers and lives could be ruined if
you'd like, well, fucking year. But I should take my
phone out and start filming them. That's a huge mistake
not to, I know so. And this is further in
the confusion. When they were outside and they were talking
to the door, and I screamed, you better get the
fuck away from that door right now, because they were
out there. And then and one of them, the lest
junk clu goes, could we just he goes, we just

(59:15):
come inside and look for our backs. He still saw us,
so he still though That's what I almost felt bad.
I was like, oh damn, yeah, See, this is actually
where maybe you do. The lawyers are not the villains here.
Let's start with that. This is where you and the
lawyers you, John, You and John and the lawyer boys

(59:36):
team up, okay, and get a settlement because like, like
what if you had you know, they could argue that
their their careers and lives were almost ruined, because what
if you had immediately pulled out a camera and put
them on TikTok going these lawyers from Philadelphia firm whatever
broke into Marley Marge into my room at night. I'm

(59:57):
just saying like, like, it's very funny, okay. By my adrenaline,
I am so excited to write this email. I'm not
actually joking about I'm actually thinking it might be interesting
to reach out to the law firm their law firm. No,
I know, but wait, listen, would you and I'm not
gonna do that do that. I'm not going to reference

(01:00:17):
the law in my email, but listen, if you were me,
would you put in the email something on the lines
of being built for the stay feels pretty egregious or
would you just let them come forward with it? You
know what I'm saying yeah, I. Um. I once heard
someone say something like um, when we said I had

(01:00:39):
a nut allergy, I was delivered a nut in a cocktail.
Oh yeah, and I had an immediately alergic reaction, ran
to the store or whatever. And the end of the meal,
when they try to take the round of drinks off
the ones that had the nut in the drink, okay, Yeah,
are you already composing the email psychopaths? Okay, because you're

(01:01:03):
afraid of losing the words that just came to you
that you feel are the golden ticket. Okay, you need
to breathe and realize that, like I'm not gonna forget,
like I'm only going to get better as I love you. Okay,
thank you. But I heard the person I was dyning
with say something like, um, I was shocked when the

(01:01:24):
bill came out. Yeah, I assumed in no way was
I going to pay for this meal. Yeah. I was
astounded when I was handed at a bill and by
putting it through to that way, the manager was like,
oh shit, you're right. Like basically it was like you're right,
and then um, are you for this? And this is
where we differ or where you know, the people I

(01:01:46):
was with and I think you might might differ, okay,
is that is that he goes, we are absolutely paying
for the meal. This is not about like I'm not
gonna be the asshole doesn't like, we're we're paying for
the entire meal and we're even if you wouldn't let
us would be tipping the wait staff, you know, heartily. Whatever.
But he's like, we're we're paying for the meal. Like,
but I just want you to know. I was completely

(01:02:08):
shocked that a bill came. Oh, there it is. And
then they're going, no, no, we'd really like to comp
the meal. You're absolutely right, and we'd really like to
comp to meal, comp to meal. The person's gonna be
going absolutely not no, we're paying, and I'm going can
we yeah, because like you know, I was paying for
the meal like whatever, Like it was hysterical that one
person who's like making the big scene is like still

(01:02:32):
like it's opting for all of us that know, in
fact we will pay, but setting aside trying to get
it for free or whatever. I actually don't think the
answer lies and talking about how terrified you were and
all that, okay, because to me, that's that's like it's
like if if someone breaks into your house. If someone
does something like blatantly illegal, m you don't have to

(01:02:56):
claim terror for it to have been illegal. Do you
see what I'm saying. It almost makes it like you're
trying to seek emotional damages for something that was kind
of vaguely like to me, all of the as you
can imagine, this was very disturbing or whatever. It's a
little bit like it's like it's like suggests you think
you don't have a case. Yeah, yeah, exactly, as though
you don't have a case. Yeah. And to me, it's

(01:03:16):
just like I would never pay a single dollar to
stay in a hotel where I didn't have a room
that locked. That's that's all you can say. Or that
gave access to my room to strangers or whatever you
want to say. Yeah, I mean, and also maybe you
don't care and who gives a shit, And it's like
it's funny and egregious and and maybe you're kind of like,

(01:03:37):
I don't even hate the hotel. I don't hate the hotel.
That's why I'm like, because I don't hate the hotel,
and I even have the thing, I'm like, well, I
don't want to cause a fuss, and why not we're
on the boat. They're talking about, Oh, Justin Bieber and
Jimmy Fallon come here. I'm like, really pretty sure Jimmy
and Justin wouldn't want anyone to have a key to

(01:03:57):
their fucking room to come in the very least have
a glimpse of their wife's tits, at the bare minimum,
at the very least. I mean, there's nothing more dangerous
in this world than a pack a pack of drunken
Philly lawyers. They disappear body and worse on a work vacation.

(01:04:19):
They're not there with their family. They do a huddle
in the morning. How do we do this? Yeah, my
body is sent down the lagoon, into the open ocean,
into the Caribbean Sea. Never like, wow, okay, well this
is now a lot. Usually it's like a series of
errors where you could be really pissed at a series

(01:04:41):
of errors. They didn't do this, they didn't do this,
and you just go, I'm really disappointed overall because every
step of the way, you know, these things happen and
I could have been killed, right, that kind of thing.
This is not that this is the most What is
the most If you had to come up with the
most egregious, you know, just just blatant fuck up. You
could have? What more could it be that they it
out the space under your bed for someone I didn't

(01:05:02):
tell you. It's as close as that. So we'll see
Chris in the background going the whole stage is free
or whatever. That's amazing. I needed support. I can't wait
to draft this fucking I'm gonna consult my friend who yes,
because I first of all with nut allergy. Even though
I said I have nut allergy and I was knowing John,
John's gonna go leave it alone. I think John's gonna

(01:05:25):
go leave it alone. I'm gonna go I don't know
about that. Well, there is the thing with where it's
not just you paying, like it's like it's not just
something you bought for the two of you. It's like
you both paying. So yeah, it's this weird thing where
you're almost like, you know, it's sort of both of
your names being dragged with the mud. I also, you know,

(01:05:46):
don't pay twice, right, like yeah, yeah, Like I don't
count energy discussing. I'm poogs failed energy. This is a
conversation because listen, here's what it is. I'm not gonna
get into a back and forth. I have no urge
to like like, I'm fine. Three line, I think it
should be free. I think we should be refunded. It's
three lines. I think we should be refunded for this day.
Other guests had access to my room the entire time,

(01:06:07):
unknowingly to me and ultimately knowingly when the worst thing
that could possibly happen, a group of drunken men forced
their way into into our room. We're lucky that violence
didn't occur. You're lucky the violence didn't occur. I could
have taken out of a fucking knife and you could
have taken out a gun and shot them, Okay, and
then they'd be dead when it wasn't even their fault.

(01:06:30):
Violence could have occurred. Such a fucking good point. So
violence was narrowly escaped. Ye okay, Well this is we
got a log off. But this is a bonus poog law.
My god, imagine I'll be represented by poog power suits.

(01:06:51):
Nine inchields. They marched in. Oh my god. So I
texted John. By the way, I'm at Milliam Hotel. We're
getting more money off with your blessing, more money off.
You're hysterically, you're softening it for John Can you're just
saying saying, except John thinks I'm like John things. I
always think I'm being robbed. I know, Jacqueline whole stays free, Jacqueline,

(01:07:13):
thanks the whole stay. They're lucky violence didn't occur. I'm
not saying to devote your lives to it. I'm not
I'm not gonna lose sleep. I'm not going to engage
in a bit. I don't want to fight. But I'm
gonna write an email and just go. You know what.
I was shocked to receive the bill. Just just run

(01:07:34):
it past me. Okay, I don't need any softening language.
I'm definitely running it past for you kidding me. And
you said you're going to contact someone else to consult
a friend who said the thing at the restaurant. Okay, great,
all right, well thank you. I'm gonna write that. I'm
gonna pass the email in front of your eyes first
before I send it, and here we go. I just
think it's yeah, I think it's worth worth noting the danger.
Well it's possible now, that's for sure. Maybe there's something

(01:07:56):
that can be done. Yeah, danger, Okay, love you. That
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