Lucy Walsh on Fame, Family, and Her New Book, Remember Me as Human

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to Studio twenty two.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome to Studio twenty two. I'm your host, Will Meldman
here as always with Rock O'Hern.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Good morning people, feeling good, feeling great.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
We have an incredible guest today. We're here with actress
Lucy Walsh, author of Remember Me as Human and daughter
of rock and roll legend Joe Walsh.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Welcome, Lucy, Thank you for having me. I'm really excited
to meet you both.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Thanks for coming on.

Speaker 4 (00:34):
Yeah, you're welcome.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I feel like we missed a couple of accolades though.
I mean, you've got singer songwriter, you've scored film. Yeah,
at least the author are working on a screenplay as well.

Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yeah, it sounds like I never wanted do you know
what I mean about? Like being a jack of all
trades is kind of like silly. Yeah, like you're kind
of people don't take it seriously. So when people I've
been doing some interviews and people are listing off things
I've done, and I'm like, oh my god, I sound

(01:06):
like I'm dabbling in so many different things, but it's
really very basic. It's acting, music, and writing. I always
knew I wanted to be an actor. I always loved performing,
and I obviously grew up in a musical family and
I and I hoped to write a book someday. And
that's really what I've spent my life doing and it's
taken me some crazy places.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, it's all like a form of creation and expression
right in that category.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
Yeah, the performing arts is just where my heart's always been.
What about you, two musicians?

Speaker 3 (01:38):
I wish I wish I was when I was younger. Yeah,
and I kind of fell out of it because just
I moved somewhy with play. I played drums and I sang,
and I moved around all the time, never lived in
the same place more than a year, so I would
move and lose pieces of the set, and I couldn't
afford to buy more.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
God, you couldn't replace. You were down to like.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
One drum, one high head, and I'm like, this is
not working out for me. The same thing with my
voice when I hit puberty, I couldn't sing after that.
Oh wow, yeah yeah. But I also I was I
want to ask you this because were you able to
sing like right out of the gate or and then
obviously you work at it as a singer, but or
did you did you have to work at it from.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
That's a really great question. Before I answer it, Are
you a musician?

Speaker 2 (02:19):
A pretty similar story. I took guitar and drums and
sang in a band, and.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
You lost all your instruments and gave up when you
hit puberty.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Definitely gave up after puberty. It was kind of like
fourth to sixth or seventh grade. We do like bar
mitzvahs and talent shows and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
He got farther than you did, way farther.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
He did some performing a little bit, if you could
call it that, but just always been a huge music fan.
I went to a lot of shows with my mom
at Shortline Amphitheater, and you know, just loved rock and
roll and you know, a little bit of hip hop.
But just music's been a huge part of both our lives.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Yeah, for sure, a huge part of everyone's life, I think.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
To answer your question, that's a great question. No, I
could not sing in the beginning. I grew up singing gospel,
like three part harmonies with my grandmother, Wanda, who my
book is about. But I didn't have any training to
speak of until I was nineteen. And when I hit nineteen,
my dad made it possible for me to study with

(03:22):
a private music coach every day who was this master
from Julliard. His name is Joel Ewing, and he coaches
all the rock stars, all the opera singers. And I
only I could barely sing Mary had a little lamb.
To be honest, I had no voice to speak of,
and he built my voice from the ground up. And
I was with him five days a week, every morning

(03:45):
at nine o'clock for about ten years when my father
made that possible. So I have about a half million
dollar music education in my brain and it's given me
quite a life as a musician that's gone on to
do many different aspects of the craft. But no, I
had no voice in the beginning.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
That's amazing.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
I did love it though.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, I think that's one of the biggest things. You
got to love it right, The passion for it is.
I've seen so many people that don't know or don't
have it, you know, in with it, right, even if
it's not like you don't have friends that play instruments,
family or anything like that, but there's something about music
in some form that pulls to them.

Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
I had that in high school with a friend and
she was like when she started couldn't like tone deaf. Yeah,
put invested in herself and by the end of the
you know, four or five years with vocal coaches, she
was amazing.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
You're right, it is an investment in yourself. I have
my own performing arts studio now, the Lucy Walsh Performing
Arts Studio that I created a few years ago, and
U and I coach all kinds of singers. And I
know because it happened to me that you can build
the craft from the ground up. They say you can't
teach certain things, you know, they say, like you can't

(04:57):
teach timing in comedy, you can't teach one to have
a voice, But there are ways to build these things
within yourself. And yeah, it's pretty exciting to get to
see singers grow like that because I've taken many people
from being tone deaf to having a gorgeous voice and
being able to go out into the professional arena.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
I love hearing that.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I think that's a really inspiring message for people to
hear out there.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
I do too. It's important that people know that because
then there's hope, definitely, And like you said, Brock, if
the love is there, that goes a long way. That
is your way in. That's where to begin, and you
can craft everything else. That's why it's called a craft
because it's been crafted.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's a good point.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's like, you know, Malcolm glad Wilson thousand hours, right,
you can have talent and God given talent, but it's
only going to get you so far. The people who
have work ethic that's right, well eventually outwork the talent absolutely.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
And I really got to experience that growing up around
my dad's band, because I saw those guys go out
on stage and make it look so easy, and I
also saw the hundreds of hours that they put into
making it look effortless. And I'm so grateful I got
to witness that work ethic because I've applied it to

(06:14):
my own life and it's very important. It doesn't happen
by accident. Man. Anyone can book a job. Anyone can
book a couple jobs. You can be the hot thing
for a second, but you can't have a long term career.
You can't make a lifetime of it.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
That's such good advice to give people too, because I've
seen that in careers as well, and it's some advice
I got from a friend as it's hard to get
to the top, and it's even harder to stay there.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Yeah, and it's.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
That it's how hard are you willing to work? What
are you willing to do to earn that place? Because
you can get there, you can get that shot, you
can get lucky and catch a break, or you did
work to get to where you're at. But if you're
not going to continually keep at it, then.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
Yeah, And that just comes from the love of it,
wouldn't you say? If you can't sustain something long term
unless there's a true love.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Of it, it'll eventually weed itself out.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
And I apologize for in the title.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
It's hard to list everything out, so yeah, but we're
making up for it by talking about it.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
No, that's what I mean. Like, I am first and
foremost an actress. That's what I love the most. If
I had to say, so, I love your title. Is
that what you mean how you introduced me?

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (07:23):
No, I'm very proud to be an actor.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
That's amazing.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Where did that love for acting come from? Or when
did it first show in your life?

Speaker 4 (07:30):
The first time I remember having that epiphany or that
recognition was must have been about five and I would
just watch gone with the Wind over and over and over.
I don't know why. It's like a very heavy movie
for a five year old, but I saw Vivian Lee
on that screen and I just honestly like pointed and
was like, oh my god, that's I just had this

(07:53):
total recognition. And I've heard other actors talk about it.
I heard Mark Ruffalo say recently that he had that
with Brando about the same age, and you don't really
know what it is, but you're just like, Oh, that's it,
that's me. And I was never wanted to do anything else.
That was it. I kind of made up my mind
at five, even though my mom wouldn't let me do

(08:14):
it until I was an adult because she wanted me
to have as normal a childhood as possible.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Oh that's interesting.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, that's pretty cool, because, yeah, if you see it
in a lot of times with child actors that really
can get pretty heavy, put a toll on them, you.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
Know, it's definitely Yeahposu're so young. You wouldn't wish it
on your child unless they were well, I guess some
people would. There's a lot of stage parents. Huh.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, it's also too like what other kids like work
like that? Right?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
So it's also just the concept.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Of having a job that young, I guess, right, and
like it's an interesting but yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
It's also one of those things where you to have that.
I think it's a gift to know what you want
to do that early on. You know, there's people in
the thirties, forties, fifties, it's.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
Still I know so many of my friends went through
that where they got out of high school or college
and they just kind of flailed and floated. And still,
I mean, it never ends. It never ends because we
have so many different chapters to our lives, and I
believe that our lives really move in seasons, and when
those chapters close, it's okay. It doesn't mean you failed.

(09:22):
You're onto a new chapter. You're not in that season anymore.
And for a long time I thought that like life
was meant like success meant like an accumulation of something
to like a huge degree of it. But now I
don't think of life like that. I think I think
it's okay to move through to different things that you're

(09:42):
curious about. Like what I was curious about five ten
years ago is not what I'm curious about pursuing today
or next year, And like not to be down on
ourselves because we feel like we failed at something because
we didn't see it through for the next twenty years.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Okay, But truthfully, it's exactly you said life. It's ebbs
and cloths of life, right and seasons and that thing
might have led you to what is really bringing you
joy and happiness and fulfillment and success, the real form
of success that you're looking for, and it maybe it's
I mean, look at how many people go to college,
right and then they think they want to be a
doctor or this or that. You know, they realize, oh,

(10:20):
I really want to be a musician, or I really
want to you know, start a career doing something else
completely different, but that path leads you there and you.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
Need I don't think anything is wasted. Yeah, I think
it's just a beautiful journey.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah, that's what I think.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Definitely agree with that.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Speaking of a beautiful journey, it was a huge treat
to be able to, you know, go through this early.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
I know it's not out yet.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
But it's not.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
You've got exclusive copies and extremely grateful for that.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
And honestly, like I mean, there are some things in
here that you know, I really did get emotional reading it,
and you know it definitely was a huge tree. What
inspired you to start this project?

Speaker 4 (11:03):
So when I was seventeen, my grandmother Wanda, thank you.
It looks so it's so surreal to see you holding that.
It's amazing. When I was seventeen, my grandmother Wanda gave
me sixty three of the love letters that my grandfather

(11:24):
Dale had written to her during World War Two, and
they had written hundreds back and forth, but only these
sixty three remain. He had to burn all of her
letters that she sent him, and he talks about it
in one letter. How devastating that was a lot of
most men had to burn all the letters because they
couldn't carry them. They were right on the front lines

(11:45):
and they were moving a lot. So I only have
my grandfather's side of the letters. So when I got
them at seventeen, I knew that they were a really
big deal, and I knew that I wanted to turn
them into a film someday, but I didn't know how
to do that. The only thing I did know was
that I wanted to get Ron Howard to tell you it.

(12:06):
And so, like I say in the book, I literally
I really did. I carried the letters in my purse
for like years in case I ran into him at
the store or something and pitch him my film. But
even though I didn't know how to go about making
the film yet, I knew that what I needed to
do was start to ask questions of my grandparents and

(12:29):
fill in the story, find my story around these letters.
And in the midst of those thoughts developing, my grandfather
Dale died with Alzheimer's before I got a chance to
speak with him, and that really scared me and shocked
me because I saw his memories and his thoughts stolen,

(12:51):
like taken before his body even died. And I think
my trauma response to that, I know, I know my
trauma response to that to go into overdrive asking questions,
And in a way, I started to try to collect
all my loved one's memories because I didn't know where
Alzheimer's would strike next, and I thought, like, Okay, if

(13:12):
I can just gather everyone's memories and document everything, then
Alzheimer's can never win again. And I think that's a
big part of why it was so important to me
to write my grandparents' story surrounding these letters, was to
make sure that Alzheimer's didn't win again and that they

(13:32):
get to live forever. And so that led me ultimately
to interviewing my grandmother in her nursing home for three
days when she was ninety seven, and I taped the
whole thing, and she died four months later. So this book,
Remember Me as Human, is the story of those three
final days that I spent with her in her nursing home.

(13:56):
And what started as asking questions about the letters really
became a master class in what it means to be
human and how to truly live and embrace that and
celebrate that. And that's a very important message that I
stand for sharing with others, especially at a time like this,

(14:18):
when AI and technology are stealing our humanity and our
connection of sitting here and staring into each other's eyes.
I think it's more important than ever. It's a timeless
story that must be told at a time like this.
Such a strange juxtaposition.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Yeah, I feel like there's so much self identity and
knowledge of finding yourself in that exactly what you're saying
right there. That's so important for people because I think
when you know yourself, the world opens up to you
in a different way. You know what I mean. Yeah,
And to take that like, I had an experience with

(14:55):
a neighbor of mine. So I lost my grandfather before
I was born, and then three days later my mom
found out she was pregnant with me. I never got
to know him.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
It was her father, her father.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yeah, so I didn't grow up with grandfathers, but I
and I still have my grandmother's. But something happened before
about three four years ago, I had a neighbor who
when I first moved to this new house in this neighborhood,
we didn't like each other. I was gone filming for
about a month, so I hadn't even moved in a
single piece of furniture when I got the house, and
he parked in my driveway, and I like, after a

(15:27):
month I came back, I'm like, who the heck is
in my driving?

Speaker 4 (15:29):
Your age?

Speaker 3 (15:30):
No? No, he was in his seventies. Oh well, what
happened is we didn't like each other for the first
like six months, and then we sat down and actually talked.
The guy was awesome. You know, he showed me his
knife collection, We talked about life. He showed me, you know,
his places up in Tahoe and how much he loved
nature and all this stuff, and he like became like
a grandfather figure to me.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
And I remember towards the end of the four years
of me living there, he got really sick. And I
loved this guy, Larry, I love this guy.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
And I remember I saw him age twenty years in
like three weeks, Wow, he was diagnosed with two different
forms of terminal cancer and completely just changed everything. And
I remember I wish I had written down or gotten
a book and asked him all these questions about life.
And it was at that point it was too late.
He was too sick, he was too tired, he had

(16:17):
no energy left, you know. And I think about that
with my family a lot too. Like you know, you
got to interview your grammar at ninety seven years old,
I know, which is an incredible long life. The things
that she has seen experienced, Oh, I.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
Know, extraordinary. Yeah, I'm really happy you shared that story.
That's exactly my wish for what people are inspired by
with this book. And I'm hearing the same thing as
what you just said from everyone who's read it. Men
and women. They have to share their own story of
where they felt the most connected with another and where

(16:52):
they wish that they had asked more questions. Not that
you weren't curious about this man. I know you loved
him very much, but we can always look back and
have regrets about how much we didn't ask of someone.
We take each other for granted because we think we
have all the time in the world. But when we're gone,
we're gone. All those stories, all those memory, an entire

(17:15):
world that exists in another person is gone. And that's okay.
Obviously that's the point of life and death, you know,
birth and death and all that. But to celebrate each
other while we're here instead of just taking each other
for granted and putting each other in boxes and just going, oh,
I know, I know who my mom is. Oh yeah,
it's just my mom. No no, no, no, no no.

(17:36):
There's an entire world in that person. And I think
that again, AI and technology is robbing us of our curiosity. Yeah,
would you agree with that? Do you think that we're
headed in a good direction? You know, with with like
because it's isolating, it is that.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
It is, And I mean, I think the notion of
not letting Alzheimer's when is beautiful and making sure to
preserve and record that is something that now you can
pass down and for generations and generations and it can last.
And I think that's a beautiful notion. And you know,
one of my favorite parts of that is when you know,

(18:15):
you go to the piano and the nursing home and
you talk about the importance of music. And by the way,
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be sharing like
spoilers or yeah, but that moment was so beautiful because
it kind of tied into the rest of your life
as well, with music playing such a big role and
you know, seeing the impact of that. What was that

(18:37):
moment like And can you kind of expand on.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
That, the moment of playing piano in the nursing home. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
So I grew up going to this nursing home and
it really does it's like another character in the book.
It's the setting where where a lot of the book
takes place. And it was always very upsetting for me
to be in that place. And every time I would go,

(19:01):
my grandmother would make me sit at the piano and
play for everyone, and it was really and I do
describe it in the book. It was very scary. I
think that we are very afraid by old age we're
very afraid of old people when we see them sitting

(19:21):
in a corner drooling. I don't think people know what
to do with that. It's very overwhelming, and I'm going
to talk in a bit about an association that I've
joined with to bring more awareness to that. But that
experience at the piano in the nursing home changed my life,
the one that I write about where I saw people

(19:43):
who were sitting there with their head and their lap
lift their head up and start to move to the
music and come back. They came back, and I saw
the power not just of music that happens to be
something I bring to the table because I'm a musician,
but whatever it is, just sitting with someone, looking at

(20:04):
them in the eye, treating them like a human being,
reminding them that they are human. It makes me very
emotional because you forget as you get older that you're
still human, and people treat you differently because they're afraid
of what's happening. And it's this very ignored area of society,

(20:25):
I think, where people just don't want to fucking look
at it. Yeah, but guess what it's going to happen
to all of us, And it's okay. And what I
learned in that moment of playing music for them and
seeing them have that reaction and that piece in the
moment and some healing, even if it only lasted for
thirty minutes, was that it's very easy to change someone's

(20:49):
life for the better. I think people get overwhelmed by thinking, oh,
who am I to make a difference in the world.
But let me ask you if it were you in
that nursing home and someone came in and played a
song that you recognized from your childhood and it made
you go, oh my god, yeah, oh my god, would
that make a difference in your life? Absolutely, So we

(21:13):
can make a difference in people's lives one at a time.
That's all it takes. And that's enough. You don't have
to go out there and change the world. You can
walk into a nursing home and say, Hi, I'd like
to sit with someone and play cards. Hi, I'd like
to read a book with someone for a half hour.
That's enough. And that's what it taught me. Was like,

(21:33):
because I'm the adult child of an alcoholic so I
struggle with like trying to save everybody. You know, I'm
sure you can relate, but you don't have to save everybody.
We can't. You can't. All you can do is bring
somebody a smile and a moment of peace. So that's
what that taught me, kind of a roundabout answer to like,
I'm really grateful that she pushed me to do that,

(21:55):
because I would say, no, no, I don't want to
uh no. But it's not as scary as you think
to just connect with another person and give them a
little happiness for a second.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
That's beautiful. I think it's incredible. You got that perspective,
you know. And yeah, I think that people forget like
when we're young, we are surrounded by so many other
kids our age. You know, you go through school, you're
in high school, yeah, to school, elementary, all that. You
go through that and then college for a lot of people.
But as you get older, it gets more and more lonely.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
Yeah, you know, and more and more scary.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Exactly because you know you're getting closer.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
Aging is scary. Man. I have so much respect for
my elders because it takes courage to embrace aging. It
really does. And I heard a great thing that kind
of keeps it in perspective for me. Im and I
misquote it but it was like old age isn't them,

(22:50):
It's happening to them. Yeah, because we get like annoyed
with an older person or like disgusted or scared or whatever,
and oh I don't want that near me, But they
don't want it either. It's happening to them. They're twenty
years old in their brain. I just have so much
respect for aging. I mean, we're young, we're young, but

(23:12):
we're much older than we were. And the older I grow,
I just see every day I wake up, I go, oh, fuck,
life is not what I thought at all. Yeah, I'm
gonna have to reevaluate what I thought this journey is
because every single day the shadows are shifting and new
things are coming into my consciousness that I never considered before.

(23:34):
It's quite extraordinary. It's awesome in the true sense of
the word. Yeah, life is fucking I mean, you know what.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
Jesus, I think it's great too, real quickly before you
go in Western cultures, yeah, to have these reminders too,
because a lot of Eastern cultures, you know, treat their
elders with a little bit more respect.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
They do, and they're much more at peace with the
aging process. But not us, and especially not in this town.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Well that's why these you know, books like this and
stories like this are so important, I think for us
in the West.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
I truly believe that.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
I think there's when you realize how precious life is.
It gives you a different perspective of like aging is scary.
You know, we don't know how much time really I
have here. But at the same time, it's I've shifted
over the years, the past couple of years specifically of
just having this extreme gratitude for it today. I know,

(24:33):
because it's at the end of the day, like all
we have is today we won.

Speaker 4 (24:37):
We woke up today, we made it. That's a successful life.
You want to know what success is. You woke up
today and what do you do with that day? And
if you're lucky, you get to do something you love
in amidst all the other stuff you have to do
to keep your life on track, you know.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
And I love what you said about, you know, not
being able to realizing you want to save everyone, but
not being able to do that right.

Speaker 4 (25:00):
Do you know what I do feel that in your
own lives. Do you struggle with that?

Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, Well that's I had to get to the point
where you realize you you have to I had to
start realizing that I can only help people do a
certain point. And that point for me is to the
point that when it starts to hurt me, if it
starts to affect me or hurt me negatively, that's when
I pull back, because before I just keep going, and
then they would drain me, take from me whatever it is,

(25:25):
and then I'm left with nothing, and well, then I
can't help anybody at that point. And one thing on
the topic of what you just said for me that
resonates is I saw this quote a long time ago
and it just sat with me, you know, and it's
if you want to change the world, you have to
first change yourself. Yeah, because I wanted to save the world.
I wanted to help everyone that's ever been hurting, you know.
And you talk about doing these small things for people.

(25:45):
It doesn't have to be that you're saving everyone. You
have to save somebody's whole world. It's I've had moments
in my life where a single smile or a single
conversation saved it, I know. And then realizing that power
that you don't know what someone else is going through,
you don't know what someone's dealing with. You don't know
what they're struggling with. If you can do one kind
act for them, it could be as simple as opening
door for somebody.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
Don't underestimate the power of a small act.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
I you know, a friend come to me asking for
like a small loan, right, and you know he has
kids and I don't, right, and he's going to pay
me back. You know, I've known him forever. It's not
a big deal. But it's like there was no part
of me that was going to say no to that, right.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
It's like that's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
It's like, you know, it's one of those small things
that you just you realize you're not the only person
in the world, and like one small thing can can
help someone else, And.

Speaker 4 (26:41):
It's just yeah, if you can help, then you must.
And like Brac isaying, like you arrive at a boundary
where you're like this, I can't do this, and it's
I think listening to yourself. That's what my journey through
people pleasing has been is like yeah, of course you
know a run out, Yes, yes, you know here of course,

(27:04):
but then you you got to listen to yourself when
it's like no, actually I can't do that right, you know,
And that's okay, And it doesn't mean you're selfish or
terrible person or anything. It's just I think knowing ourselves
in terms of boundaries and what's good for us is
like the key to authentic relationships, right.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Because if you're helping someone while being detrimental to yourself, then.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
It's yeah, because you've got to come first in a way,
we always have to put ourselves first. Like you said,
it has to begin with the self for sure.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
If you're if your cup isn't full, hell, can you
feel yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (27:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (27:44):
With La too. How important is growing up in La?
And then I know you've lived in La a lot
of your life.

Speaker 4 (27:51):
Right now, we're all kind of La kids here.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
How how much do you value authenticity in a person?

Speaker 4 (27:57):
Oh my god? Well I've had such a trippy life.
Oh my god, growing up in a famous family the
way I did, with not just my dad but my uncle.
I mean, because Beatles fans are a whole different level
of interesting. I think it gave me the perfect learning

(28:22):
ground to be able to turn around and write about
what it means to be human because I've seen the
depths and the bowels of fame, and I've seen that
everybody's the exact same. No famous person is any better
than anyone else or any different from you and I.

(28:43):
It's all smoke and mirrors. And I mean that in
a good way. I don't mean that as like angry
at anything about fame. I I've had a wonderful life
with it all. It's not been easy, but I do
value authenticity now in my life above anything else. For

(29:05):
a long time, I wasn't even aware of what it
meant to have authentic relationships, because, like I was saying
before we started recording, I had a lifetime of like
walking into rooms and people already knowing who I was.
And I wasn't aware of that because I was just

(29:27):
being me, existing in my life and you're not aware
of other people feeling that way. But it made me
very susceptible to predators. And I'm able to spot that
much better now, Like I can really feel it immediately
if somebody is overly, you know, like close with you

(29:49):
too soon, or if it's strange, Yeah, you can start
to spot it. So I used to not be able
to see it. And and I've really changed my life around.
I've really allowed a lot of relationships to leave my
life gently, you know, and move along. And I've really

(30:12):
tightened up the circles of those I trust for my
own safety as well. I had a very serious stalker
situation that I still have a restraining order on. So
I take personal safety and very seriously, not for just myself,
but my loved ones and my friends. I take that
shit so seriously. Man, don't you tag me in a

(30:35):
picture somewhere that I'm at, Don't you You know what
I mean. I'm very serious about privacy and you.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
Shoul it's your safety, it's your yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
And also I work with kids through my performing arts studio,
and now more than ever, I've got to protect those kids.
Like I don't tag people, I don't post anything without asking.
You've got to be very very careful for you too
as well. Be careful boys, because you're public figures and
people are strange, and in this day of technology, we

(31:05):
have more access to each other than ever and people
feel like they know you. And it's not just celebrities,
but it's normal people. I mean, people are weird everywhere.
You just have to keep your wits about you and
never assume that no one's paying attention.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Because they are there's attention, so you definitely were able
to kind of spot who's authentic and who's not.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
I mean, I'm not saying I'm like, I'm an expert,
you know, but I can I can what I what
I what I can do now is trust my instincts,
whereas before I wasn't even in touch with my instincts
to even know what they were telling me.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
It's not something that you just know right off the bat, right, Yes,
an exposure thing. It's like it's not a normal thing
to need to feel aware of everyone's authenticity.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Now it's just like trusting and spot and like listening
to red flags when they come up, you know what
I mean. And we're so so we've so trained ourselves
to ignore red flags in life. We just have, all
of us have. We're idiots when it comes to picking
up on red flags. But like you gotta.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Protect yourself, yeah, you know. And I went through, I've
gone through the many different phases of life, and friendship
is something that I value very very much now. And
I've told this to many of many of my friends,
Like I don't care truly, I don't care what you
do in life, how much money you make what your
status is, and it's like, if you're not a good person, yeah,

(32:33):
I don't have space or time for you in my life.
And it's just the way it is, because at the
end of the day, my quality of life goes down
if I have to deal with some billionaire that says
he's my friend, that's trying to take it in and
it's like, there's no point of that.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
That's what it is. It's the quality of life, and
it's the amount of energy and time that you spend
because as you grow old or your time and energy
becomes the most precious thing you've got. And if this
person is going to be a yah know, waste my
time and energy and cause me to be upset for
a year, then no thanks. I'll spot the red flags early.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
One one of the best lessons I've ever learned was
you have to teach people how to treat you.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
It's when you do that, they're going to do one
of two things.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
You know.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
It's they're either going to treat either way you deserve
to be treated the way you know and where your
boundaries are at, yeah, or they're not. And now it's
up to you, what are you gonna do? At that
point you either get rid of them completely keep my
arm arms leaned. Yeah, but then you create this ecosystem
for yourself of a healthy life that's a more enjoyable life.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
And it doesn't mean you have to have a fight
with people. You don't. You don't even have to say anything.
It's just a knowingness inside of you and a decision, Okay,
I don't need to invest any more my energy there,
I'm going to take it elsewhere. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
A big part of what I've done, kind of, you know,
growing up, is I eliminated a lot of my kind
of social life honestly to spend more time on work
and family, right, because it just kind of like I
may have had too much social life imbalance, you know,
in my twenties. But essentially it's reel that in and

(34:00):
now I'm pretty much all, you know, work and family.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, it's like, yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Gotta be careful. All work and no play makes Jack
a dull boy, though.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
But you're totally right, and then you have to find
those little times to fit that in.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
For sure. I completely agree with that.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Yeah, And I'm getting more in tune with knowing when
I need to play instead of work because for a
long time, my ego told me that I didn't deserve
to rest unless I had won an oscar. And until then,
I couldn't take a walk, I couldn't take a nap,
I couldn't have a good meal, I couldn't get my

(34:38):
hair done, you know, And we I think we rob
ourselves of a happy, joyful life because we feel like
we need to do something first to deserve it. And
that's not true at all, not true at all. Do
you think you have a pretty good like can you
listen to yourself when you need to go for a

(35:00):
walk or take a day off or do you just
kind of plow through?

Speaker 1 (35:04):
I'd say, I'm getting better.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (35:08):
Really hard?

Speaker 1 (35:09):
For some reason.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Writing for me is literally like nine to four am
is like when I'm most productive, writing so good.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
It's tough.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
I can't do it all the time, obviously, but if I,
like am trying to finish something.

Speaker 4 (35:23):
You just got to push through. Sometimes deadlines do exist.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
But yeah, or deadlines in my own head.

Speaker 4 (35:29):
Right, I self imposed deadlines?

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Ah good though?

Speaker 3 (35:33):
Yeah, you mentioned joy? What what's brought you the most
joy in life?

Speaker 4 (35:37):
This book? Finishing this book.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Hell yeah.

Speaker 4 (35:41):
Honestly, this was such a hard birthing process for me.
I always thought that to be a writer you had
to go to some fancy school and have a degree,
and I didn't have that, so I shied away from
it for a long time. But it was something that
was so important to me, and ah God, I just

(36:04):
had to at a certain point just say, you know what,
just it doesn't have to be perfect, just get it
out there.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Just fuck it.

Speaker 4 (36:13):
Sorry, Can I cuss on your sh Like when you're
being called by something to pull it into existence, and
you don't have to be an artist. Anybody listening can
relate to this. That voice is going to tap you
and it's going to whisper to you, and then if
you don't listen, it's going to start poking you, and
then it's going to start hitting you and punching you,

(36:35):
and then it's going to knock you on your ass.
And that's really where I got with the book. I
was like trying to deny it for so long. It
took me fourteen years to finish, but it's been the
greatest joy of my life to bring it into existence,
and it means so much to pass on because I

(36:57):
truly believe that the message of it is what people
need for healing as a human, and I'm grateful to
have contributed something that might help some somebody else. But
aside from that, like things in life that bring me joy,
Oh my gosh, I'm all about joy these days. If
it doesn't bring me joy, get it out of my face, honestly. Like,

(37:20):
I think that I've arrived at having a love affair
with myself because for so long, like I said, until
I if I didn't book that acting job, I didn't
deserve a bubble bath. I didn't deserve those those candles lit.
I didn't deserve the perfume. I don't know if you're
like this, maybe this is more a woman thing. I'm sure.

(37:40):
I'm sure you do this, Julia, Like my publicist is here, Hello, Hello,
gorgeous for me as a woman, I went through this
phase in life where like, oh, I can't light my
candle because I'm home alone tonight and I don't want
to waste it on myself, like I need to save
the candle for when I have a guest, or like oh,

(38:01):
I'm not going to wear my perfume today because I'm
home alone and no one's gonna smell me. Fuck that.
I want the perfume, I want the candle. It's for me.
I come first, you know. So that's where I'm at
in my life, just this love affair with myself. And
I am married to a wonderful, romantic man who makes
my life very joyful. But before any of that, I

(38:24):
come first with me. And I deprived myself of that
for so many years, trying to chase like booking a job,
until I was worthy. And if I stand for anything
to tell people now, it's like, you are worthy right
now as you are. You don't have to fix anything,
you don't have to achieve anything. We're all worthy and lovable.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
Yeah, And into that. I love that that advice because
the problem with people not believing they're worthy is then
all of a sudden, all those things that are meant
for you, you're gonna just not let them in your life, exactly, relationships,
the jobs, the conversations, you know, like if you don't
think you're worthy to be there, you know, And I've
been in rooms that I'm like, who, what, how how

(39:12):
did I get here?

Speaker 4 (39:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:13):
And then it took someone saying you're supposed to be here? Yeah,
you know, and then I realized I got to the
point where I'm like, no matter where life takes me
in this path, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be
when I'm supposed to be there, and I just have
to believe that.

Speaker 4 (39:27):
And you so deserve to be wherever you are because
the world needs your light.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Yeah, you know that.

Speaker 4 (39:34):
That's how I feel with this, Like I'm describing the
book as like, oh, I'm so excited to share it
with people, but it's not because I have any ego
about it. It's because the world needs this story. The
world needs your story. Each of us. How's a story
inside of us that is valuable? Yeah, very valuable. Yeah,
and that's why everyone in the world belongs in whatever

(39:55):
room they're in.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
Yeah. And that's that's like you said, it's bringing light
into the world. It's your or one. Even if only
one person read this book exactly lit a spark in
them to change the life of millions and millions of people.
It's like, you don't know what your impact or your existence,
your light, your you know, mindset, whatever it is your
existence is going to impose on somebody else, and they
could change the world in what you may not see

(40:18):
is a big thing. But that's you changed the world
of one person, one person.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
That's exactly right. And if anybody ever forgets that or
feels overwhelmed by not being able to make a difference,
just take it back to my question. If it was
you and you needed that loan, if it was you
and you needed that song or that smile or that
open door, would it change your life?

Speaker 1 (40:38):
That's the answer.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
The I mean, we are coming up on Valentine's Day
actually in February, and you know one of the letters
that was written home, you know, was a Valentine's Day letter.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Were you able?

Speaker 2 (40:56):
I know he had to earn a lot of your
grandmother's letters. There's some stories in there. Were you able
to put together some of the pieces, Like there's a
story about a mouse and her sister and Wanda's sister.
I think yeah, and like things like that, Like were
you able to ask Wanda some of those things to
fill in the blank on the stories.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
It's funny you say that. The way that I filled
in the blanks was my writing partner, A Dta Potwarden.
He's a filmmaker and we've finished the screenplay for this
film we're doing based on these letters, thank you. Him
and I we tried to do that. We tried to
fill in the blanks because we were so fascinated by

(41:38):
what her answers might have been. So we like went
through each letter and wrote down what he said and
the questions he asked her. Those were our clues. He'd
be like, honey, you said you went to the dentist,
like is your tooth still hurting? Or you said you'd
been down to my mom's farm or whatever. Do you
still have enough money? You know? Did you go to

(41:59):
the club again, whatever? And we would write down all
his answers chronologically and see how many how much time
had passed in between each one, And then we were
able to like not get her writing back, which is
heartbreaking that I'll never have that, but we were able
to piece together a lot of what she might have
said to him. As far as her piecing together anything

(42:23):
in our interview, no, she was not very helpful when
it came to information like that. But I had to
go really deep with her on some really big questions
that I had about things I knew had happened in
our family. The book covers a lot of ground man

(42:44):
It's hilarious because Wanda May Boyer was a hilarious character,
but it's also pretty dark stuff that we all have
in our families, everything from mental illness and alcoholism to
suicide to molestation, you know, to the good stuff too.
But I really tried to be as gentle as I

(43:09):
could with her and focus on what I knew I
needed answers for most right at the same time keeping
her comfortable and not making her too upset. But it
was it was an interesting balance. I had to keep
her safe through the interview while getting what I wanted.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Yeah, I mean reading some of those letters, like guard
duty on Christmas Eve and we believe it, I can't imagine,
you know, and New Year's Eve and yeah, and you
know what he did on Christmas.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
Talks about being freezing and how the clothes wouldn't dry
because of the cold, and these laundry women in Paris
trying to do these these guys' clothes and little kids
in the room and the clothing wouldn't dry. They were
the French people were so freezing the winters, and just
what he describes is an incredible look life in the

(44:01):
army in World War Two.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
It's amazing, and you know, I definitely got emotional of
the parts where he's talking about how much he loves
her and you know, if he had a rowboat, he'd
go all the way home and see her, and it's
it's just amazing. These these letters are are incredible. I
could see why just immediately you were like, you know,
we need to do.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Something with you.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
You have letters in your families because this is very common.
Many of us have artifacts and family letters.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Honestly, this inspired me to you know, I'm next time
I see my father, I'm going to try to go
back and do something or you know my parents.

Speaker 4 (44:39):
It worked.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
It inspired me to go investigating.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
I am so happy that is my success. Honestly, if
it never does anything else. To hear you say that
like I made it, that's it. That was the point.
I'm so happy to hear you say that. I can't
wait to see what you find. Can you please check
in and tell me what you find, because I guarantee
you're going to.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
Be surprised, definitely, and I think it's going to have
that effect on every single person that reads it.

Speaker 4 (45:07):
And I also think that your parents will be blown
away to have these conversations because nobody ever asks people
as they're getting older about their life. Yeah, like I
think it'll be. It's really healing. I think opening up
those channels within our families and asking more questions and
being more curious about each other will like cause a
lot of miracles, I hope.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Definitely. Definitely, Broc. Do you have any letters or anything
like that that you can think of.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
I don't know about letters. I know there's I'm sure
there's something, but I think there's a lot of stories.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:39):
I mean what you were telling me before we recorded
was like a book in itself.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
Yeah, And that's that's the beauty of like even even
my grandfather, right, Like I have my knowledge of him
is through my family, right right, Yeah, So I've got
stories and he was such a great man who passed early. Wow,
you know, he passed very early. And my grandma has
never been remarried to this day, never dated anybody. She's

(46:04):
waited And I remember having this conversation with my aunt
my mom, and they're like, I just wish, you know,
she's in her seventies now, I just wish that she
would find somebody, you know, and like just be happy
in this. And I'm like I'm sitting here and I'm
the kid, you know at this time, and I'm sitting
here like like, you guys don't get it. I was like,
she found her soulmate, Like she's still in love with

(46:25):
him to this day. They are still going to be
together after this, you know, Like I know that and
and that kind of love. I was like, that's the
kind of love that I want. Yeah, And I sat
there and I remember my aunt she was like, wow,
I never thought about it that way. I'm like, yeah,
I get to see an example of love that's so
pure and so true and so real through a couple

(46:48):
that one's in a different place and the other ones
here on.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
Honoring it for the rest of her life is what makes.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
Her happiest My entire life. So it's been over thirty
years that she's you know, been this way, and you know,
she's just fully committed. I think it's one of and
so for me, I've had this example of like what
kind of man was he? And anybody that's ever talked
about of my family's talked so highly of him, how
hard he's worked. And I've carried that with me my

(47:14):
whole life and to try and follow in that example
of a man uh footsteps, you know, and he's got
the saying that I got to do something with one day.
But he used to say sore.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
With eagles, and it was I believe you don't have
that tattooed.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Yeah, well I don't have tattoos yet.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah I have an eagle tattoo.

Speaker 4 (47:33):
Yeah you do.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Yeah, But it was in that, it was in the
ethos of you know, the reason he said it was
eagles fly higher than any other bird, right, and to
keep company and to be the highest version of yourself.
You know. For me, it's just like, okay, how do
I do that every day? How do I become that version?
And uh, you know, And in some ways I've got
a guardian angel that is there with that example. Even

(47:56):
if if that's the only info I have, well.

Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yeah, I mean you can have as it's a beautiful
relationship you have with him, even though he's in a
different place. That doesn't mean relationships stop when somebody passes.
You know. My relationship with my grandmother has deepened since
she passed. She won't leave me alone, you know, and
they're always with us. Are you are your grandparents living?

Speaker 2 (48:20):
Yes, I have a grandfather on my father's side, and
both on my mother's side, but my mom's sorry, my
father's mother passed away fifteen years ago. But yeah, I mean,
you know, it's that connection and hearing these stories, it
always brings joy, and it tells you about yourself, right,

(48:43):
like knowing where you come from.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
That's right, And I think that that is an ache
that we all share to understand ourselves through who and
where we've come from.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Definitely, And like you know, brock to speaking of the
love his grandparents had and reading about the love they had,
that is the picturesque version of love we all want,
right like that is you know, I forget the line exactly,
so forgive me for maybe misquoting, but it's okay, you know,
it's we don't maybe we don't have everything, but we

(49:15):
have each other and that's the best for me, right Like,
just like our love is all I need, right yea?

Speaker 1 (49:21):
And like that just hit me hard.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
Yeah, I mean it's never going to be perfect. And
I guarantee your grandparents' relationship Rock was not perfect. I'm
sure they went head to head a lot, which we
tend to forgive all that when somebody passes. But yeah,
it's not perfect, and That's the point that is the title.
Remember Me as Human. My grandmother said, you got to
tell the truth because I was human, and that's how

(49:46):
I want to be remembered. You know how at like funerals,
they're always like, oh, they were the most amazing person
and they weren't this, and they weren't that. It's like, no,
I don't want all that. Yeah, just remember me as human.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
That's great.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
There's a lot of relief in that, don't you think, like,
oh God, I don't have to be some perfect thing.
It's okay. We're still lovable. We're still worthy, even if
we're serial killers. I hate to say that, but on
a very sole level, you know, for sure, you're still worthy.
I take back what I no, I don't take that's

(50:22):
a whole conversation. That's a whole other karmic level conversation
that we're not here to have. Ask me more Hollywood questions.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Yeah, what are your favorite experiences in Hollywood?

Speaker 4 (50:33):
Oh? My god, you're really going for it.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Yeah, what are my.

Speaker 4 (50:37):
Favorite experiences in Hollywood? Well? What is Hollywood?

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Let's say, on a movie sat Ter, on a TV show, saturn,
and an acting experience.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
Oh my gosh, Well, I had this great Okay, yeah,
I had this great experience with Fiona Apple once in
a restroom at a club. I was at that club, Largo,
and she was in theom with me, and as a tiny,
like two person restroom, you can't even move, you have
to like scoot around each other. And I was wearing

(51:07):
these gold shoes that were Gwen Stefani and she looked
down and she said, I like your shoes and I said, thanks,
I like yours too, and she said I stole them
in seventh grade.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (51:23):
And then she just walked and I said nice. She
just walked out. We've never met, but we had this
moment and then about her stolen shoes. Wow. Oh yeah.
It was a very human moment. It really was. Oh God,
I've had some surreal shit. I've had some surreal stuff.

(51:44):
I mean. I was talking the other day about like
playing the Orange Bowl halftime show with Ashley Simpson. I
was in her band at one point, and it was
like seventy thousand people in this arena plus live on ABC,
and we had like a thousand cheerleaders on the field
with us, and the Orange was huge, huge, and Kelly
Clarkson and Trace Atkins and us were playing, and we

(52:07):
get to the field and there's just static in our
in ears. There was noe. We couldn't hear a click, music, nothing,
and the band was playing to a track, and then
her and I were singing live and everyone's running around.
I guarantee everybody got fired that day. And Kelly goes
up and performs and not just static, just a train wreck.

(52:30):
And then we were last, and we get up there
and couldn't hear anything except like a four second bounce
back from the stadium. So I just looked at her
from like twenty feet away and tried to stay in
time with our voices at least, And when you watch
it on YouTube, were like four seconds behind the band,
and it just sounds so bad. And then when we

(52:51):
got done, the entire arena was booing. The whole place
erupted in booze. They had been booing since Kelly started,
but because we were last, it looked like it was us,
and I just put my hands on my hips and
just turned slowly around and I just thought, take this in, baby,
because this when would you ever experience something like this?

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Right?

Speaker 4 (53:12):
It was so insane? Yeah, Yeah, that's like what being
a seasoned performer means I think is like you, anything
that could have gone wrong has gone wrong, so you
know how to do your job now and deal with
anything that could happen.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
Yeah, you get a thicker skin, right.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Absolutely better. And that is why the music business is
a mess now because people are getting signed from their
TikTok's going viral and they don't have that performance experience,
so they don't know what they're doing on stage. And
my father always told me, you must be able to
deliver live. That is the rule, and that doesn't exist

(53:51):
in the music that I'm seeing. Yeah, I think it's
in the toilet.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Yeah, I mean, I mean he would definitely know.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Like if you're you know, coming in to the Eagles
and bringing that live guitar rock and roll, like you're
you're basically like stepping up the best band of all time, right,
you're improving it?

Speaker 4 (54:13):
Yeah yeah, I mean they just come from another generation,
and yeah, so do I I'm old fashioned in the
respect I have for the craft, and I see it
being you know, just bastardized constantly in today's Hollywood, as
we as you said.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
But there's an element of that in film and TV,
oh I know.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
Yeah, for sure, it's a mediocrity abounds, I mean.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
More and more of it.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
Yeah, it's really it's really disheartening. It's really it's really
quite quite depressing. But what are you going to do.
All you can do is make sure that your own
stuff is quality as quality as can be and yeh yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
And with music, like you said, too, right, it's like
normally you would go you know, maybe you start like
doing dive bars or smaller clubs, and then you kind
of work your way up and then you like meet
an agent and then like you said, by that time,
you've already performed hundreds of times.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
And like with acting, they do this in England a
lot where a lot of the kids will go into
theater and do plays like their whole childhood, and then
they come up and.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
You know, like an Anthony Hopkins or something like that.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
And not only that, but in drama school they have
to perfect an American accent before they can graduate, which
fox American actors because their Brits have their training and
then they come over and knock us out of the
water with their perfect accents and get all the jobs
because they actually still have respect for the craft.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
That's my buddy. I'm not going to say who, but
he just lost a role like that to an English
actor in like a Navy seal role. I'm like, I'm sorry, dude.
I mean, yeah, well, the guy's good constant.

Speaker 4 (55:53):
That's why little mean, little la actor has done as
much theater as possible and as much Shakespeare under my
belt I can, because this is what we're competing with.

Speaker 3 (56:02):
I'm just going to ask you about that. How do
you like a play or live performing in that sense
versus on film?

Speaker 4 (56:08):
I love it because it scares the shit out of me,
and I love to like put myself through the ringer.
That's why I like to sing the National anthem and
things like that, because I just like it's like a
cold plunge, and you've got to do that for your
system every once in a while, you know, Like I figure,
if I can get through a two and a half
hour Shakespeare play, I can do pretty much anything I

(56:29):
put my mind too. And it's good to test your
limits like that, so you know where you're capable of going.
And we're always capable of more than we think. Yeah,
there's a great quote I saw recently which I will
also miss. Quote is like when you've reached your limit.
You're really only at about forty percent of your capacity.
And it's so true. And that's why I love like

(56:53):
stories about humans and these extraordinary circumstances like climbing Mount
Everest or like a shipwreck, because man, we have no
idea what we're capable of. We're all like housecats when
our souls are really puma's in the jungle. We just
don't know our true selves. We just don't know our
true selves. And that's okay, that's what being human means.

(57:16):
That's the limitation of being human. But to me, it's
like about pushing those limits or like on board.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
Yeah right, it's it's one thing to be the first
person to do it. But then the thing that I've
noticed over the years is I grew up skateboarding and
surfing and a lot of extreme sports.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Yeah you're the same, you both are. I know you are.
You guys have these like massive resumes of all these
crazy things you've you've pursued. And that's why. It's because
your puma's in the jungle.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
That's right, we all are.

Speaker 4 (57:44):
We all are.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Sorry I interrupted, no, Yeah, it's okod you. I'll do
it again. But it's you see like Everest for example, Yeah, no,
we'd ever done it. Finally one person does it, and
then thousands do it after. That's right, and then the
boundary of I've seen in extreme sports, you know, even
you see it in normal sports too, the Steph Curies,
and you know there's people out there that are just

(58:07):
taking it to a whole other point.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
Ryana and Iyad this film is out right now about
her life the swimmer. Yeah, that was extraordinary.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
It's and that's the thing is that we can It's
somebody believing in themselves enough to go do it. But
then when when someone else sees you do it, that's right,
you're opening up the floodgates for everybody.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
Else you are and it's no easier for them, the
thousandth person than it was for you. But I think
being willing to test those limits and go for it
is a huge gift to the world because you're right,
it does give other people hope and permission and freedom
to do the same. And I would I would bring
that back to our emotional health. When you cry or

(58:48):
when you are emotionally available, you are allowing others to, yeah,
to do it as well, and that's a huge gift
to pass on, and especially for big, strapping men like you, like,
it's even more powerful coming from you because men have
been so suppressed throughout history with their emotions. That's why

(59:10):
the rates of suicide and men are higher than women,
because you have to deal with all these societal rules
that say you're not allowed to cry, that's weakness. When
I got with my husband, his mother told him not
to cry in front of me because it would scare
me away. And pretty early on we got in a
fight and he cried and he said, I'm not supposed

(59:30):
to be crying in front of you. This is what
my mom said. And I said, that's one of my
favorite things about you. Like, it's not weak. Please know
that from a woman's mouth, we do not see that
as weak. We see that as powerful and exciting and
safety and all the good things. So I hope that

(59:53):
men really, like, please be beacons of hope for these men.
Please be emotionally free with yourself. And it's just such
a loving, generous, generous thing too to walk around with. Yeah, well,
why did I say that? What were you talking about
right before that?

Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
I don't know, I don't know. I'm just said that
I actually forgot. But I mean that's that has been.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
Like pushing boundaries and like having the courage to go
for it. But it's yeah, and then that's physical stuff
as well as emotional stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
Psychological is the emotional part of it. And that's exactly
what you're saying. For me is I've had these conversations
with other male actor friends of mine, and the reason
I want one it's obviously, again like since a young
age fell in love with film and I grew up
with the TV, and you know, I tried all these
different things that I just I've I've always been gravitating
towards it my entire life, and then finally I committed

(01:00:48):
to go do it. But for me, I look at
it as like I'm a big guy physically, I'm a
large guy, and you know, I'm masculine, and you know,
I know what I want and i know what I'm
going to go do to go get it. And there's
this element of we grew up in the nineties and
eighties and seventies and watching all of these action heroes
that were just these big tough guys. None of them

(01:01:09):
were talking really about their emotions, their feelings anything exactly
what you're saying with these high suicide rates, and I've
dealt with that, you know, since an earlier early age,
and I got to the point where I was like,
you know, I don't know where this life is going
to take me. I don't know if my career is
going to go where I wanted to. I'm going to
give everything I got and I'm going to try everything,
and I'm going to put myself out there. I'm never
going to quit and hopefully, you know, God willing, it

(01:01:29):
takes me where I'm supposed to go. But at the
end of the day, if I have this vessel of
this shell right, the embodies let's say, a masculine guy,
and then I'm also vulnerable. I take what these guys
did in the seventies, eighties, nineties, early two thousands, and
then I add in a layer of it's okay to
be vulnerable to what you were saying. It is actually more,
in my opinion, a stronger trait in a male. It's

(01:01:52):
a more power exactly, it's more masculine than the latter's right,
And if you're able to do that, then it gives
other men permission to do the same. And then we
start to heal exactly. And that's where I'm like, again,
I don't know where my career is going to go,
but I feel called. We're talking about calling our callings, right,
and that tapping, poking, punching, and eventually I want to
get knocked out if I don't go do it. But

(01:02:15):
for me, it is that it's because I know what
it's like. I grew up with a single mother and
a bunch of sisters, and I grew up around these
women all the time. Who are those were the strong
ones to me? Those are the ones that taught me
everything I knew about being a man, funny enough, and
then also how to be vulnerable, how to communicate, how
to you know, not shove everything down. And it's scary

(01:02:36):
to do that. I don't like to talk about my
feelings all.

Speaker 4 (01:02:38):
The time, you know, but not comfortable for anyone exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
But if you get to the point where you're so
confident in living in your truth that you show up
and like, I'm okay if somebody knows a deep, dark
secret about me, like you don't need to know everything, right,
but the things we do talk about, if I'm vulnerable
about that, and then that gives you permission and you
get to heal that part. Like, I've had conversations with
so many men over the years. They're like, I've never
told this to anybody, and I can't even explain you

(01:03:01):
how much this has helped me. And it's just those
one that one little conversation, that one little act of
me being vulnerable allowing them. And I'm okay with that.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
That's right. And I think people confuse vulnerability with telling
someone your life story, and that's not what it means.
It means showing up and taking the risk of sharing
something personal and not knowing how the other person's going
to respond. They could take what you just said and
stomp on it and kill it and make fun of you.

(01:03:31):
That's the risk you take.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Yeah, And I'm okay with that because I can stand
commonly as and I think it's so important what you're
saying for men to hear that from a woman's perspective
of like, no, that is more powerful.

Speaker 4 (01:03:42):
That is that's what we want a man, that's what
women want. What about you, do.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
You, boy?

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
I had an experience there's a there's a lift driver
who kind of is in this area and he's driven
us to a premiere he's kind of you know, he's
driven us a few times. Great guy, super nice, and
he drove me the other day. And basically at the
very end of the ride, I mentioned the podcast and

(01:04:14):
how we were kind of talking about, you know, kind
of similar topic men and feelings all that, and it's okay,
and he goes, yeah, you know, I broke up with
my girlfriend or she broke up with me, and I've
been depressed for a month. And I literally sat outside
talking to him for like twenty minutes at the end
of the ride yea, and literally goes, I'm gonna go

(01:04:34):
check out the podcast and listen more. But honestly, like,
thank you so freaking much. Wow, And it's like I
never would have known that he was actually very nice
and energetic and positive. And but then one little question
and that's just a random day within a week, you know. Yeah,
but I agree, it's like he never would have said

(01:04:57):
anything regardless, but or not regardless, but if we didn't
actually get into it, and yeah, I think it's a
it's an interesting topic for sure. I definitely think how,
you know, what would what would the letters be like
if they didn't include his emotional state and what he

(01:05:19):
was feeling right and expressing how much he loves Wanda
and how much he misses her and how much he
wants to get home. Is that, literally, he admits, that's
what keeps him going and like able to fight in
the war and able to keep going is the thought
of their love. And if you're not emotionally available, then
then you're not going to write about it, right.

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
So that's right. That's why so many men when they
were leaving for war asked a woman, even if they
weren't dating yet, can I write to you?

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:05:49):
Because it's life saving. Yeah, it really is. I mean,
you're right, there's no other point for him to have
written letters except for emotion. That's what keeps people going.
Knowing that human connection, that's what we all need. And
I would pose like a challenge to everyone, especially in
this city of Hollywood. I challenge you to have a

(01:06:14):
conversation and ask the other person questions. I cannot tell
you how many conversations I have or the other person
doesn't ask me a single question, and it is so
confusing and disgusting. I don't understand that we are trained,
because of technology and social media, to talk at each

(01:06:36):
other about ourselves and we think that that's a conversation.
Don't come near me with it. We are harming ourselves
by doing that, and it's not okay. I really have
a problem with it. So I want to put that
challenge out there. Let's see if our conversations change. Huh,

(01:06:59):
Because if you ask that guy, he never would have
you never would have unraveled that beautiful world that's inside
of him and changed his life that day. Yeah, I
just and that's just one little thing.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
Yeah, So yeah, I know I agree in La especially,
I think we gotta we gotta do that a little
bit more.

Speaker 4 (01:07:16):
Absolutely, if we've lost the art of the handwritten letter completely,
at least we can still be interested in each other.
Is that too much to ask?

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
Are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Are you doing anything fun to like promote the book
before it comes out, or are you doing anymore?

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
Is doing it right now?

Speaker 4 (01:07:33):
Wonderful conversations with lovely people like you. I'm having so
much fun with you. I know we could talk all day.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
But yeah, but it's a month.

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
It's like a couple of months, so there is a
lot more time before the book comes out.

Speaker 4 (01:07:44):
Brack March twelfth. March twelfth, We've got about five weeks.
I don't even know what day. I don't even know
what when, what day of the week it is or anything.
But yes, March twelfth, we have a lot going on,
him having some some wonderful release parties which I would
love you to come to year around, and I will
be I can't spill the beans yet, but I'll be

(01:08:05):
on some incredible television shows talking about all this and
very exciting. What's happening. There's something. Yeah, there's a lot
in the works. It's be coming out gradually. But just
really reminding myself to celebrate this part of the process
because it's been something that has taken me a lot

(01:08:28):
of years of sitting in front of my computer, as
you know as writers, just spending that time in isolation,
and now for it to be out and sitting here
with us is a miracle to me, and like things
move so quickly, and there will be more phases to
it where it is reaching critical mass and touching a

(01:08:49):
lot of people, but right now it's new and it's
just happening. So I got to remind myself to slow
down and enjoy that season of the process. Because the
beginning is of anything in life, the beginning is so
magical and so special and it's gone before you know it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:07):
Yeah, you only get it once.

Speaker 4 (01:09:08):
You only get it once, and it's it's the most
fleeting bit of the experience. And so to really just
memorize the way that feels and just take as much
joy as I can from that, that's my month ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
That's amazing. I mean, I'm so grateful you're here and
we're able to talk about.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
This was so surprising. I thought we would talk about
sports and sports drenths and BC and like, I don't know,
you just you're both such powerhouses of like entrepreneurship that
I didn't know where our conversation would take us. But
I'm glad that we went where we went.

Speaker 3 (01:09:44):
Yeah, and we couldn't have done it without you. And
we're grateful for you coming here and sharing your time
with us, stories and making this writing this book, putting
so much of yourself into it and sharing what you
are Because I know everything I've seen so far, the
parts that I've read so far, and then your stories
that you've shared, it's going to change and help a
lot of people, and we're very grateful for that.

Speaker 4 (01:10:03):
Thank you. Can I mention one organization I'm working with regarding.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
All this absolutely.

Speaker 4 (01:10:08):
So I just partnered with an association called the National
Association of Long Term Care Volunteers, and what they do
is they help bring volunteer companions into nursing homes to
spend time with the elderly population. It's super easy to
get involved. It's a national organization. So whatever your community is,

(01:10:29):
wherever you live, I guarantee there's a nursing home at
the end of your road and you can easily go
through this training program that's online to be able to
walk in there and volunteer an hour to sit with somebody,
to play cards, to sing music, to just ask them
about their lives, whatever. It's super easy to get involved,
So I would like to invite everybody. You can DM me,

(01:10:51):
you can reach out for more information, you can follow
me on socials the Lucy Walsh and the book is
available March twelfth on Amazon, so amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
That's incredible, And we'll put that link in the description
to the organization and all that and for the book
and all that.

Speaker 4 (01:11:07):
Yeah, I hope to see your faces in the nursing homes. God,
the little old ladies with fun.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
Yeah, well, we'll see when we get there.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
That's hilarious. I love it. I'm gonna take you with me.
We'll make a documentary of it. That'll be the next podcast.
It'll be live from Uh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
I love that. I love that. Thank you, Thanks for
tuning in to Studio twenty two.

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