May 8, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, My husband and I have been together for three years and married almost one year. When I met him, he was just getting a divorce and he was struggling with being alone. He said he was still really cool with his ex-wife, even after she cheated on him. They have a four year old daughter, so he has no choice but to talk to her to co-parent with her. He's thirty five and his ex-wife is twenty eight. He explained to me that he started dating her when she was twenty two, and when they moved in together, he had to teach her the basics like money management and how to take care of their household. I couldn't imagine how much he had to prepare her to be a mother. He made it sound like she had no home training................................................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARBFM dot com by
clicking submit Strawberry Letter, we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject I'm tired of raising his child
and his ex wife. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and
I have been together for three years and married almost
one year. When I met him, he was just getting
a divorce and he was struggling with being alone. He
said he was still really cool with his ex wife,
even after she cheated on him. They have a four
(00:47):
year old daughter, so he has no choice but to
talk to her to co parent with her. He's thirty
five and his ex wife is twenty eight. He explained
to me that he started dating her when she was
twenty two, and when they moved in together, he had
to teach her the basics like money management and how
to take care of their household. I couldn't imagine how
much he had to prepare her to be a mother.
(01:09):
He made it sound like she had no home training.
But she's sweet and mild mannered. I haven't had any
issues with jealousy or how I discipline her child in
my house. The only issue I have is that she
constantly calls my husband and I for advice on how
to do certain things. My husband and I always tell
her to google stuff, and she always says she's not
(01:31):
good with that. I have told her that she's in
the real world and as a single mother, she has
to be on top of her game and know what's
going on around her at all times. I cannot raise
her and her four year old daughter. I think I'm
going above and beyond what any new wife would do
in regards to an ex wife. My husband keeps telling
(01:52):
me that God will bless me for having a kind heart.
I want God to bless me with a husband that
I can have all to myself. I have to remind
my husband that she knew enough to cheat on him.
So her quote Damsel in Distress act is getting old.
Does he feel sorry for her? Or is he doing
this because he still loves her. Well, it could be
(02:13):
a combination of both. He may love her, he may
not be in love with her like he's in love
with you, and he might feel a little sorry for her.
He's known her since she was twenty two. She didn't
know how to do anything. He taught her the ropes
and all that.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
But I have to.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Say to you, you are really, really a good person.
It sounds like and because who does this? I mean,
what your husband should do and should have done, is
to tell his ex that she's got to start figuring
these things out for her for herself, just like you did.
Because your husband has moved on, and that's the key.
He has to move on with you. They can co parent.
(02:49):
She needs to stay out of his current marriage, though
I don't know any wife who would be this patient
with her husband's ex wife. But then again, and let's
get down to it, Like you said, she had enough
sense to cheat on him, So her damsel and distressed
act is a bit played. Now she's by herself. She
sees his hard out here in these single streets. The
(03:11):
one good thing is that you said she calls you
and your husband, not just him. Are you okay with
that though, I don't think so, because at twenty eight
she ought to be able to google anything. If not,
she needs to start learning some basics and leave you
guys alone.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Steve, Ain't nobody got time for this foolishness right here.
I don't know who put up with this type stuff
right here. This ain't regular. Go find your ass something
to do. First of all, I'm tired of raising his child.
Did Steven Shirley? My husband and I have been together
three years and married a year. When I met him,
(03:49):
he was just getting a divorce and he was struggling
with being alone. Okay, he said he was still really
cool with his ex wife even after she cheated on him.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Okay, right there.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Can I tell you how impossible that statement is. I'm
really cool with my ex wife even after she cheated
on him. Okay, see right there, that's abnormal.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
You can forgive a person all this here.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
But I don't know too many men though that's really
cool with they ex after they cheated on them. I
don't really know too many that our sum I just
don't know none. And since she all said, did Steven Shirley,
all I can do is tell you my world, and
that ain't in my world because I'm not doing that.
(04:49):
She was thirty five, he twenty eight. When she met him,
she was twenty two. They moved in together. He had
to teach a basic money management to take care of
the household in She said, I couldn't imagine how much
he had to prepare her for motherhood and how he
gonna do that?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
What?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
What teaching he finna do to prepare her for motherhood?
What he say? What was the motherhood meeting that this
man had with this girl? I sure want to hear that.
You want to talk about a wasted ass conversation, Fellas,
try to tell a woman something about having a baby
(05:33):
or being a mother, and you ain't one that that's
some more wasted If I'm telling you right now, they
gonna tilt they head and look at you like that
little dog on that r C A label used to
be what I'm a dogged him? How you start that conversation?
Then she turned around and says, but she's sweet in
(05:55):
miud manner. I ain't got no issues with her yellows
sea or how disciplined her child in my house.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Excuse me.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
The only thing she says that bothers me is she
constantly calls my husband and I for advice on how
to do certain things. Well, she don't need a husband,
She need a daddy and a mama.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
That's what she needs.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
She needs some more friends and look like y'all it
we come back. We do the rest of it, but
I'll be taking questions on this from the laby.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
All right, we'll have heard two of Steve's response coming
up to today's Strawberry letter. The subject is I'm tired
of raising his child and his ex wife. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show.
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is, I'm tired of raising his child and
(06:52):
his wife his ex wife.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Well, this lady that married this man and they got married.
They've been married about three year years. When she met him,
he was lonely and struggling with the breakup he had
with this girl. He was married to Dayton and he's
just he was, oh, well, first of all, they were married,
(07:14):
he was married to this young girl, and after the
divorce he was struggling being alone. Budd He said it
was really cool with his ex wife, even after she
cheated on him. That's an impossible statement, because we ain't
cool no more.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Once you take the cookie.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
M and dunking in somebody else's milk, that's your cookie.
You can keep that cookie, And I don't want that
cookie no more, say because to me now your cookie
is spoiled. Wow, you don't messed your cookie up. It
(07:55):
don't crumble the same no more to me now it does.
But I'm saying for me.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
You still got good cookie, somebody still wanting you, still
beautiful person, all like that, just not to me, No,
damn mode.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
That's all you know. God and the forgiving beer.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Since I might have been wrong and pushed you into
the arms of another man, all that all that could
be true, d ain't I don't.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Will look at it though.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, it's.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Lord that ain't.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
That ain't what I'm goin to do. I'm finna hate hate, hate, hate,
hate hate.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Women forgive.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So now you all have a relationship, and she's mild manner,
She ain't bad. You don't have no issues with her
with jealousy. She don't talk about how you discipline her
child in the house. And the only issue you have
is she constantly calls my husband and I for advice
on how to do certain things. See, she don't need
ex husband, She needed daddy. She needs daddy and the
mamma and y'all, y'all old, and y'all help me my
(08:56):
husband and and well she'll call and ask vice on
how to do things. My husband and I always tell
her the Google stuff. And she says she's not good
with that. Well, now we're talking about stupid person. Now,
See we gonna we can gonna elevate this whole letter
up now because now she ain't needed she's stupid. I
ain't good at Googling. Well you good at asking questions?
(09:19):
What you think Google for? Yeah, Google is far asking
question what you just asked us? Type that in and
Google gonna give you several options. It's gonna be some
good advice, gonna be some bad advice, gonna be some
stuff you need to listen to. It's gonna be some
stuff that's familiar, some stuff you've never heard. Google is
damn So now she says she ain't good at that,
(09:45):
And I told her that she's in the real world
now as a single mother. She gotta get on top
of a game and know what's going on. Around her.
I cannot raise her and the four year old daughter.
I'm thinking I'm going above and beyond what any new
wife will do. And yes you are. You are way
over the top in regards to an ex wife. My
(10:08):
husband keeps telling me that God will bless me for
having a kind heart. I want God to bless me
with her husband, I can have all of myself up. Yeah, see,
we got problems. Now, see you in here telling you
that God gonna bless you dog. You know, look, man,
you need to take all that old that stuff you got,
You take all that church mess you got and go
(10:29):
on somewhere with it. You gotta stop this man, because
whoever she cheated on you with, she ain't with him
no more. I think she trying to weazle her way
back in with kindness. Would and if you just come
(10:50):
over here and take care of me every now and then,
and then you and your wife. The reason I'm being
cool with your wife so she can know that you
can ease on him back over here. She ain't even
gonna think nothing of it. And in a minute this
advice is gonna turn into a financial requests now, and
I have to remind my husband that she knew enough
(11:11):
to cheat on him, So that damnsel in distress act
is getting old as it should be. You can't keep
being the damnsel in distressed when you was cheating. See,
you can be both of them for me. Once you
cheat on me, you can be the damsel that's fine,
And you could be in distress, that's fine. But I
(11:34):
ain't got a damn thing to do with that, because
first thing, when you come and ask me, I'm going
whoa where homeboy?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Ad?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You know, you know, you know, you know, use over
that pass and now cook it? You know, letting somebody
you know, dunking into somebody else milk?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
You know where he at? Ask him? You ain't got
to google nobody. Ask him.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
You're out here passing. Now cook it like the tato chips.
You can't eat as many cooks because says you can't
take the chips.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
That's true. Let me ask you this, Steve, do you
think is the husband still in love with her? Somewhat?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah? Uh huh, and he's stupid and he's stupid.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Okay, because he's letting this go on and he needs
to dog.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
You're not fin to cheat on me and then need
me now need.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Who you cheated with? Yeah, yeah, where he at?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You know we're gonna get a divorce and break up
because you was with him. Now you find out he
ain't nothing. Now you back over here needing me because
you knew I was gonna help you.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You ain't that fine? I'm sorry though.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Oh he got a great wife. But what the wife
ought to do is slide over there. Not in her
d MS on her dose, step ding dong Avon called
him full of brush around herby. Remember when all them
old people used to come by your house.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Comments on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM,
and check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on
the Free iHeartRadio app where free never sounded so good.
Coming up next to as Junior with Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARBFM dot com by
clicking submit Strawberry Letter, we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject I'm tired of raising his child
and his ex wife. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and
I have been together for three years and married almost
one year. When I met him, he was just getting
a divorce and he was struggling with being alone. He
said he was still really cool with his ex wife,
even after she cheated on him. They have a four
(00:47):
year old daughter, so he has no choice but to
talk to her to co parent with her. He's thirty
five and his ex wife is twenty eight. He explained
to me that he started dating her when she was
twenty two, and when they moved in together, he had
to teach her the basics like money management and how
to take care of their household. I couldn't imagine how
much he had to prepare her to be a mother.
(01:09):
He made it sound like she had no home training.
But she's sweet and mild mannered. I haven't had any
issues with jealousy or how I discipline her child in
my house. The only issue I have is that she
constantly calls my husband and I for advice on how
to do certain things. My husband and I always tell
her to google stuff, and she always says she's not
(01:31):
good with that. I have told her that she's in
the real world and as a single mother, she has
to be on top of her game and know what's
going on around her at all times. I cannot raise
her and her four year old daughter. I think I'm
going above and beyond what any new wife would do
in regards to an ex wife. My husband keeps telling
(01:52):
me that God will bless me for having a kind heart.
I want God to bless me with a husband that
I can have all to myself. I have to remind
my husband that she knew enough to cheat on him.
So her quote Damsel in Distress act is getting old.
Does he feel sorry for her? Or is he doing
this because he still loves her. Well, it could be
(02:13):
a combination of both. He may love her, he may
not be in love with her like he's in love
with you, and he might feel a little sorry for her.
He's known her since she was twenty two. She didn't
know how to do anything. He taught her the ropes
and all that.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
But I have to.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Say to you, you are really, really a good person.
It sounds like and because who does this? I mean,
what your husband should do and should have done, is
to tell his ex that she's got to start figuring
these things out for her for herself, just like you did.
Because your husband has moved on, and that's the key.
He has to move on with you. They can co parent.
(02:49):
She needs to stay out of his current marriage, though
I don't know any wife who would be this patient
with her husband's ex wife. But then again, and let's
get down to it, Like you said, she had enough
sense to cheat on him, So her damsel and distressed
act is a bit played. Now she's by herself. She
sees his hard out here in these single streets. The
(03:11):
one good thing is that you said she calls you
and your husband, not just him. Are you okay with
that though, I don't think so, because at twenty eight
she ought to be able to google anything. If not,
she needs to start learning some basics and leave you
guys alone.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Steve, Ain't nobody got time for this foolishness right here.
I don't know who put up with this type stuff
right here. This ain't regular. Go find your ass something
to do. First of all, I'm tired of raising his child.
Did Steven Shirley? My husband and I have been together
three years and married a year. When I met him,
(03:49):
he was just getting a divorce and he was struggling
with being alone. Okay, he said he was still really
cool with his ex wife even after she cheated on him.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Okay, right there.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Can I tell you how impossible that statement is. I'm
really cool with my ex wife even after she cheated
on him. Okay, see right there, that's abnormal.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
You can forgive a person all this here.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
But I don't know too many men though that's really
cool with they ex after they cheated on them. I
don't really know too many that our sum I just
don't know none. And since she all said, did Steven Shirley,
all I can do is tell you my world, and
that ain't in my world because I'm not doing that.
(04:49):
She was thirty five, he twenty eight. When she met him,
she was twenty two. They moved in together. He had
to teach a basic money management to take care of
the household in She said, I couldn't imagine how much
he had to prepare her for motherhood and how he
gonna do that?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
What?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
What teaching he finna do to prepare her for motherhood?
What he say? What was the motherhood meeting that this
man had with this girl? I sure want to hear that.
You want to talk about a wasted ass conversation, Fellas,
try to tell a woman something about having a baby
(05:33):
or being a mother, and you ain't one that that's
some more wasted If I'm telling you right now, they
gonna tilt they head and look at you like that
little dog on that r C A label used to
be what I'm a dogged him? How you start that conversation?
Then she turned around and says, but she's sweet in
(05:55):
miud manner. I ain't got no issues with her yellows
sea or how disciplined her child in my house.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Excuse me.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
The only thing she says that bothers me is she
constantly calls my husband and I for advice on how
to do certain things. Well, she don't need a husband,
She need a daddy and a mama.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
That's what she needs.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
She needs some more friends and look like y'all it
we come back. We do the rest of it, but
I'll be taking questions on this from the laby.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
All right, we'll have heard two of Steve's response coming
up to today's Strawberry letter. The subject is I'm tired
of raising his child and his ex wife. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show.
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is, I'm tired of raising his child and
(06:52):
his wife his ex wife.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Well, this lady that married this man and they got married.
They've been married about three year years. When she met him,
he was lonely and struggling with the breakup he had
with this girl. He was married to Dayton and he's
just he was, oh, well, first of all, they were married,
(07:14):
he was married to this young girl, and after the
divorce he was struggling being alone. Budd He said it
was really cool with his ex wife, even after she
cheated on him. That's an impossible statement, because we ain't
cool no more.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Once you take the cookie.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
M and dunking in somebody else's milk, that's your cookie.
You can keep that cookie, And I don't want that
cookie no more, say because to me now your cookie
is spoiled. Wow, you don't messed your cookie up. It
(07:55):
don't crumble the same no more to me now it does.
But I'm saying for me.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
You still got good cookie, somebody still wanting you, still
beautiful person, all like that, just not to me, No,
damn mode.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
That's all you know. God and the forgiving beer.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Since I might have been wrong and pushed you into
the arms of another man, all that all that could
be true, d ain't I don't.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Will look at it though.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, it's.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Lord that ain't.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
That ain't what I'm goin to do. I'm finna hate hate, hate, hate,
hate hate.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Women forgive.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So now you all have a relationship, and she's mild manner,
She ain't bad. You don't have no issues with her
with jealousy. She don't talk about how you discipline her
child in the house. And the only issue you have
is she constantly calls my husband and I for advice
on how to do certain things. See, she don't need
ex husband, She needed daddy. She needs daddy and the
mamma and y'all, y'all old, and y'all help me my
(08:56):
husband and and well she'll call and ask vice on
how to do things. My husband and I always tell
her the Google stuff. And she says she's not good
with that. Well, now we're talking about stupid person. Now,
See we gonna we can gonna elevate this whole letter
up now because now she ain't needed she's stupid. I
ain't good at Googling. Well you good at asking questions?
(09:19):
What you think Google for? Yeah, Google is far asking
question what you just asked us? Type that in and
Google gonna give you several options. It's gonna be some
good advice, gonna be some bad advice, gonna be some
stuff you need to listen to. It's gonna be some
stuff that's familiar, some stuff you've never heard. Google is
damn So now she says she ain't good at that,
(09:45):
And I told her that she's in the real world
now as a single mother. She gotta get on top
of a game and know what's going on. Around her.
I cannot raise her and the four year old daughter.
I'm thinking I'm going above and beyond what any new
wife will do. And yes you are. You are way
over the top in regards to an ex wife. My
(10:08):
husband keeps telling me that God will bless me for
having a kind heart. I want God to bless me
with her husband, I can have all of myself up. Yeah, see,
we got problems. Now, see you in here telling you
that God gonna bless you dog. You know, look, man,
you need to take all that old that stuff you got,
You take all that church mess you got and go
(10:29):
on somewhere with it. You gotta stop this man, because
whoever she cheated on you with, she ain't with him
no more. I think she trying to weazle her way
back in with kindness. Would and if you just come
(10:50):
over here and take care of me every now and then,
and then you and your wife. The reason I'm being
cool with your wife so she can know that you
can ease on him back over here. She ain't even
gonna think nothing of it. And in a minute this
advice is gonna turn into a financial requests now, and
I have to remind my husband that she knew enough
(11:11):
to cheat on him, So that damnsel in distress act
is getting old as it should be. You can't keep
being the damnsel in distressed when you was cheating. See,
you can be both of them for me. Once you
cheat on me, you can be the damsel that's fine,
And you could be in distress, that's fine. But I
(11:34):
ain't got a damn thing to do with that, because
first thing, when you come and ask me, I'm going
whoa where homeboy?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Ad?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You know, you know, you know, you know, use over
that pass and now cook it? You know, letting somebody
you know, dunking into somebody else milk?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
You know where he at? Ask him? You ain't got
to google nobody. Ask him.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
You're out here passing. Now cook it like the tato chips.
You can't eat as many cooks because says you can't
take the chips.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
That's true. Let me ask you this, Steve, do you
think is the husband still in love with her? Somewhat?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah? Uh huh, and he's stupid and he's stupid.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Okay, because he's letting this go on and he needs
to dog.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
You're not fin to cheat on me and then need
me now need.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Who you cheated with? Yeah, yeah, where he at?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You know we're gonna get a divorce and break up
because you was with him. Now you find out he
ain't nothing. Now you back over here needing me because
you knew I was gonna help you.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You ain't that fine? I'm sorry though.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Oh he got a great wife. But what the wife
ought to do is slide over there. Not in her
d MS on her dose, step ding dong Avon called
him full of brush around herby. Remember when all them
old people used to come by your house.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Comments on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM,
and check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on
the Free iHeartRadio app where free never sounded so good.
Coming up next to as Junior with Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.
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