May 3, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a thirty eight year old married woman. This is my second marriage and my husband's first marriage. I have a twenty one year old child and an eighteen year old child, but I felt obligated to have a child with my husband because he didn't have any kids. We've been married four years and we have a three year old daughter. He used to be my world, but now my children are my world. After my daughter's iPad exposed my husband as a cheater, it was caught on videos, so there's no way he can make me believe what I heard was not what I heard. My husband runs a tax prep business and he does the payroll for his brother's business......................................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours. It could be yours. Buggle up
(00:22):
and hold on tight. We got it for you. Here
it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Subject. It was
all recorded on her iPad. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a
thirty eight year old married woman. This is my second
marriage and my husband's first marriage. I have a twenty
one year old child and an eighteen year old child,
but I felt obligated to have a child with my
(00:43):
husband because he didn't have any kids. We've been married
four years and we have a three year old daughter.
He used to be my world, but now my children
are my world. After my daughter's iPad exposed my husband
as a cheater, it was caught on videos, so there's
no way he can make me believe what I heard
was not what I heard. My husband runs a tax
(01:05):
prep business and he does the payroll for his brother's business.
His office is down in our basement, so our daughter
stays home with him every day. It has saved money
on daycare, so we have a tutor come by two
days a week to do activities with our daughter on
her iPad. But most of the time my daughter is
in the basement making videos of herself, cooking, doing her
(01:29):
doll's hair, and trying to do TikTok dances. Last week,
she was doing a cooking video and my husband was
in the background on the phone. My daughter shushed him
in her sweet little way, and he winked at her.
Then he told whoever he was on the phone with
that he had to go and he'd see her At
twelve thirty. While the baby was taking a nap, he
(01:51):
was grinning from ear to ear. He also told the
person to bring her bonnet so she wouldn't sweat her
hair out like last time. That evening, my daughter wanted
to show me her video, but all I heard was
my husband talking to his side chick. The people closest
to me think we can get past this. So does
he can a cheater? Ever? Change? Do I owe him
(02:14):
a second chance? First of all, I got to say
this about your little three year old daughter. She's amazing. Okay,
she's quite advanced with her technical skills and all that
filming herself, cooking during Odal's hair, doing TikTok dances. I
like that. But no, you don't owe your husband a
second chance. Why don't you owe him a second chance
(02:36):
because he's cheating on you and you have the receipts period,
And where's he going at twelve thirty when your daughter
takes a nap. I mean he's supposed to be watching
her write? Can cheaters change? You ask? I believe people
can do whatever they put their minds to. The problem
is will he change? Can he control himself? Or does
(02:59):
he even want to stop cheating? Those are the questions.
And it's not a matter of him changing. It's not
even that he broke the trust you had in him.
So it's about you now. Do you want to give
him a second chance? Do you want to do that?
Will you ever be able to trust him again? You
don't want to be constantly worried about him cheating and
whatever else he's doing. He said, he believes you guys
(03:22):
can get past this, just like family members did. So
What is he willing to do to make sure of that?
Do you want to give him another chance? Like I said,
will he stop cheating and do the hard work it's
going to take to fix this marriage? If it can
be fixed, how does he plan to make it up
to you? These are more of the questions that you
need to ask him if you decide to try and
(03:44):
work this marriage out. I will caution you to be
careful though, because at this point I'm sure he's going
to say anything he thinks you want to hear. So
trust what he does, not what he says. Steve, he
was caught at.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, oh, let me just start by saying, damn dog. Yes,
I mean, just damn dog.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
First of all, why are you talking in front of
your child, y'all? I mean, and how loud were you
talking that whatever your daughter was doing on the iPad
you could be heard in the background. None of this letter,
(04:37):
none of this information in the in the letter is
important about her being married before this.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
His first marriage.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Uh, he never he never had a child, so you
felt obligated to have a baby. And now y'all got
a three year old, You got a twenty one year
old and eighteen year old, and you know that's not important.
It ain't even important that his husband runs a tax
prep business. That your husband runs a tax prep business
(05:08):
and he does payroll for his brother's business. What do
that got to do with anything? All this information is
so irrelevant. It has nothing to do with the letter.
His office is down in our basement. Now this is
what becomes important. The office is in the basement, so
our daughter stays home with him every day. It has
(05:31):
saved money on daycare. So we have a too to
come by two days a week to do activities with
our daughter.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
On her I pad.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
You have what so you pay somebody to come by
the house two days a week, not to study, but
to do activities with your daughter on how I pad?
So I guess you're supporting the daughter.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It's probably educational stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
No, no, no, we have a tutor come by two
days to do activities on our daughter's iPad. Yeah. For
most of the time, my daughter is in the basement
making videos of herself cooking, doing her doll's hair, or
trying to do TikTok dance. At what the hell I
need a tutor to come by for that for two days?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
What I think it's educational.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, no, anyway, she was doing a cooking video and
my hunt was in the background on the phone. This
is where the letter gets good. This is all we
need to do, and after that, I'll tell you whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
All right, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's strawberry letter.
Subject is it was all recorded on her iPad. We'll
get back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show.
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is it was all recorded on her iPad.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The first part of this letter is unimportant. She's been married,
Her husband has it. They've been married four years. She
got two kids that's grown eighteen twenty one. He wanted
a child, felt obligated. They got a three year old daughter.
He works from his basement. He do his brother's taxes.
The daughter stays home with them to save money on daycare,
and she do TikTok videos. And y'all got a two
(07:22):
to come by twice a week to do activities on TikTok.
They ain't got damn thing to do with this letter
except set us up. Your baby is always doing stuff
on TikTok. Now, last week she was doing a cooking video.
She's three years old. Yes, y'all gonna set the house
on fire. And my husband was in the background on
(07:43):
the phone. My daughter shshed him in her sweet little way,
and he winked at her. Oh, some daddy daughter time.
Then he told whoever was on the phone with that
he had to go and he would see her at
twelve thirty. Now, whoever he was on the phone with,
(08:04):
you don't know. So we got a small out here,
We got a loop, a chance to lie, you said,
he told her. But you don't know it was her
because all he said was I'll see you at twelve
thirty while the baby is taking a nap. It could
have been a business meeting, it could have been anything.
(08:25):
We had it opening. But now your ass stayed on
the phone and gave the incriminating evidence.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yes, he was grinning here the end.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, if I'm gonna make some money, I'm grinning too.
He also told the person to bring your bonnet so
you donna sweat your hair out like last time. What
is you saying this for? In front of the damn baby.
(09:00):
That evening, my daughter wanted to show me her video.
All I heard was my husband talking to his side chick.
Now it wasn't a side chick until he's saying, bring
your bonnet so you don't sweat your hair out come
on like last time. God, this is the information that
(09:26):
is incriminating and the part that we must deal with immediately.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I have a solution. No way, Yes, no way, Steve.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
That evening, my daughter wanted to show me the video
and I heard my husband talking to his what you say,
this side chick. The people closest to me think we
can work past this, and so does he cound of cheetah?
Ever change? Do I owe him a second chance? Now,
First of all, you left out a lot of information
what he said about the phone call, how he explained it, everything.
(10:03):
But obviously he must have told her that it was
a chicken. Surely's ridiculous question was where is he going
at twelve thirty? He ain't going nowhere. He leaving that
baby at home about himself, it's twelve thirty. When the
baby take a nap, he don't leave the house. She
(10:25):
need to bring that bonnet so she don't swear her
hair and lead no hand on these sheets that he's
going nowhere. His dumb ass is at the house. What
he should have said was that was not a woman
on the phone. I did say, come over at twelve
thirty so the baby could be sleep. And I told
(10:46):
him to bring his bonnet because sometimes he goes to
the soner. It was my brother, and my brother go
to the soner and I told him to bring his
bonnet with him because what you don't know was my
brother just got a parent.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Uh uh No, nobody's buying that. Well, what else she got?
What else she got?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
But she at least he would have had it because
you didn't know who he was talking to when he
said come by a twelve while baby sleep. The problem
he had was he told her to bring a bonnet
so she wouldn't sweat her hairt man, all we got
to do is cover this bonnet and sweating hair. And
that would be a man who has a James Brown
(11:37):
parent that he was perm in his hair. And that's
all it got.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
All you got gonna work.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Absolutely, not absolutely, but you need to have a shadow
of doubt because in Nigeria of twelve, you just need.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
One reasonable You just need one for reasonable doubt is
the key word reasonable That didn't work. Yeah, and everybody
people closer. You think y'all could get past that. And
so does he kenne Cheetah ever changed? She just changed
all the time. Do I owe him a second chance?
I don't know that you owe him anything. It's just
(12:16):
a matter of do you want to? But you left
a lot of information out of this. I'm assuming you're
writing because you want to work it out. If you
didn't write us, you would just say I'm done. I'm
going boom boom boom, boom boom. But you have some
doubts and you want to try to work it out
with this man because he used to be your world.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
She was thinking in her head that it could be
the brother with the perm.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
No, she's not thinking that at all. Because you are
smart enough to interject that doubt early on, it's too
late to double back.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
He's already ever, there's no doubt he did it.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
He's already admitted it.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Charley.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Why don't you listen sometime? Oh we just go with
your home wrecking advice.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
And you're just mad because he got caught, and you know,
I have a life for it.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
I'm man because he didn't think anyhing about that.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Dro I known a day's letter on Instagram at Steve
Harvey FM and check us out on the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up next to
his Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours. It could be yours. Buggle up
(00:22):
and hold on tight. We got it for you. Here
it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Subject. It was
all recorded on her iPad. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a
thirty eight year old married woman. This is my second
marriage and my husband's first marriage. I have a twenty
one year old child and an eighteen year old child,
but I felt obligated to have a child with my
(00:43):
husband because he didn't have any kids. We've been married
four years and we have a three year old daughter.
He used to be my world, but now my children
are my world. After my daughter's iPad exposed my husband
as a cheater, it was caught on videos, so there's
no way he can make me believe what I heard
was not what I heard. My husband runs a tax
(01:05):
prep business and he does the payroll for his brother's business.
His office is down in our basement, so our daughter
stays home with him every day. It has saved money
on daycare, so we have a tutor come by two
days a week to do activities with our daughter on
her iPad. But most of the time my daughter is
in the basement making videos of herself, cooking, doing her
(01:29):
doll's hair, and trying to do TikTok dances. Last week,
she was doing a cooking video and my husband was
in the background on the phone. My daughter shushed him
in her sweet little way, and he winked at her.
Then he told whoever he was on the phone with
that he had to go and he'd see her At
twelve thirty. While the baby was taking a nap, he
(01:51):
was grinning from ear to ear. He also told the
person to bring her bonnet so she wouldn't sweat her
hair out like last time. That evening, my daughter wanted
to show me her video, but all I heard was
my husband talking to his side chick. The people closest
to me think we can get past this. So does
he can a cheater? Ever? Change? Do I owe him
(02:14):
a second chance? First of all, I got to say
this about your little three year old daughter. She's amazing. Okay,
she's quite advanced with her technical skills and all that
filming herself, cooking during Odal's hair, doing TikTok dances. I
like that. But no, you don't owe your husband a
second chance. Why don't you owe him a second chance
(02:36):
because he's cheating on you and you have the receipts period,
And where's he going at twelve thirty when your daughter
takes a nap. I mean he's supposed to be watching
her write? Can cheaters change? You ask? I believe people
can do whatever they put their minds to. The problem
is will he change? Can he control himself? Or does
(02:59):
he even want to stop cheating? Those are the questions.
And it's not a matter of him changing. It's not
even that he broke the trust you had in him.
So it's about you now. Do you want to give
him a second chance? Do you want to do that?
Will you ever be able to trust him again? You
don't want to be constantly worried about him cheating and
whatever else he's doing. He said, he believes you guys
(03:22):
can get past this, just like family members did. So
What is he willing to do to make sure of that?
Do you want to give him another chance? Like I said,
will he stop cheating and do the hard work it's
going to take to fix this marriage? If it can
be fixed, how does he plan to make it up
to you? These are more of the questions that you
need to ask him if you decide to try and
(03:44):
work this marriage out. I will caution you to be
careful though, because at this point I'm sure he's going
to say anything he thinks you want to hear. So
trust what he does, not what he says. Steve, he
was caught at.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, oh, let me just start by saying, damn dog. Yes,
I mean, just damn dog.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
First of all, why are you talking in front of
your child, y'all? I mean, and how loud were you
talking that whatever your daughter was doing on the iPad
you could be heard in the background. None of this letter,
(04:37):
none of this information in the in the letter is
important about her being married before this.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
His first marriage.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Uh, he never he never had a child, so you
felt obligated to have a baby. And now y'all got
a three year old, You got a twenty one year
old and eighteen year old, and you know that's not important.
It ain't even important that his husband runs a tax
prep business. That your husband runs a tax prep business
(05:08):
and he does payroll for his brother's business. What do
that got to do with anything? All this information is
so irrelevant. It has nothing to do with the letter.
His office is down in our basement. Now this is
what becomes important. The office is in the basement, so
our daughter stays home with him every day. It has
(05:31):
saved money on daycare. So we have a too to
come by two days a week to do activities with
our daughter.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
On her I pad.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
You have what so you pay somebody to come by
the house two days a week, not to study, but
to do activities with your daughter on how I pad?
So I guess you're supporting the daughter.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It's probably educational stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
No, no, no, we have a tutor come by two
days to do activities on our daughter's iPad. Yeah. For
most of the time, my daughter is in the basement
making videos of herself cooking, doing her doll's hair, or
trying to do TikTok dance. At what the hell I
need a tutor to come by for that for two days?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
What I think it's educational.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, no, anyway, she was doing a cooking video and
my hunt was in the background on the phone. This
is where the letter gets good. This is all we
need to do, and after that, I'll tell you whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
All right, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's strawberry letter.
Subject is it was all recorded on her iPad. We'll
get back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show.
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is it was all recorded on her iPad.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The first part of this letter is unimportant. She's been married,
Her husband has it. They've been married four years. She
got two kids that's grown eighteen twenty one. He wanted
a child, felt obligated. They got a three year old daughter.
He works from his basement. He do his brother's taxes.
The daughter stays home with them to save money on daycare,
and she do TikTok videos. And y'all got a two
(07:22):
to come by twice a week to do activities on TikTok.
They ain't got damn thing to do with this letter
except set us up. Your baby is always doing stuff
on TikTok. Now, last week she was doing a cooking video.
She's three years old. Yes, y'all gonna set the house
on fire. And my husband was in the background on
(07:43):
the phone. My daughter shshed him in her sweet little way,
and he winked at her. Oh, some daddy daughter time.
Then he told whoever was on the phone with that
he had to go and he would see her at
twelve thirty. Now, whoever he was on the phone with,
(08:04):
you don't know. So we got a small out here,
We got a loop, a chance to lie, you said,
he told her. But you don't know it was her
because all he said was I'll see you at twelve
thirty while the baby is taking a nap. It could
have been a business meeting, it could have been anything.
(08:25):
We had it opening. But now your ass stayed on
the phone and gave the incriminating evidence.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yes, he was grinning here the end.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, if I'm gonna make some money, I'm grinning too.
He also told the person to bring your bonnet so
you donna sweat your hair out like last time. What
is you saying this for? In front of the damn baby.
(09:00):
That evening, my daughter wanted to show me her video.
All I heard was my husband talking to his side chick.
Now it wasn't a side chick until he's saying, bring
your bonnet so you don't sweat your hair out come
on like last time. God, this is the information that
(09:26):
is incriminating and the part that we must deal with immediately.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I have a solution. No way, Yes, no way, Steve.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
That evening, my daughter wanted to show me the video
and I heard my husband talking to his what you say,
this side chick. The people closest to me think we
can work past this, and so does he cound of cheetah?
Ever change? Do I owe him a second chance? Now,
First of all, you left out a lot of information
what he said about the phone call, how he explained it, everything.
(10:03):
But obviously he must have told her that it was
a chicken. Surely's ridiculous question was where is he going
at twelve thirty? He ain't going nowhere. He leaving that
baby at home about himself, it's twelve thirty. When the
baby take a nap, he don't leave the house. She
(10:25):
need to bring that bonnet so she don't swear her
hair and lead no hand on these sheets that he's
going nowhere. His dumb ass is at the house. What
he should have said was that was not a woman
on the phone. I did say, come over at twelve
thirty so the baby could be sleep. And I told
(10:46):
him to bring his bonnet because sometimes he goes to
the soner. It was my brother, and my brother go
to the soner and I told him to bring his
bonnet with him because what you don't know was my
brother just got a parent.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Uh uh No, nobody's buying that. Well, what else she got?
What else she got?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
But she at least he would have had it because
you didn't know who he was talking to when he
said come by a twelve while baby sleep. The problem
he had was he told her to bring a bonnet
so she wouldn't sweat her hairt man, all we got
to do is cover this bonnet and sweating hair. And
that would be a man who has a James Brown
(11:37):
parent that he was perm in his hair. And that's
all it got.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
All you got gonna work.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Absolutely, not absolutely, but you need to have a shadow
of doubt because in Nigeria of twelve, you just need.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
One reasonable You just need one for reasonable doubt is
the key word reasonable That didn't work. Yeah, and everybody
people closer. You think y'all could get past that. And
so does he kenne Cheetah ever changed? She just changed
all the time. Do I owe him a second chance?
I don't know that you owe him anything. It's just
(12:16):
a matter of do you want to? But you left
a lot of information out of this. I'm assuming you're
writing because you want to work it out. If you
didn't write us, you would just say I'm done. I'm
going boom boom boom, boom boom. But you have some
doubts and you want to try to work it out
with this man because he used to be your world.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
She was thinking in her head that it could be
the brother with the perm.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
No, she's not thinking that at all. Because you are
smart enough to interject that doubt early on, it's too
late to double back.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
He's already ever, there's no doubt he did it.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
He's already admitted it.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Charley.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Why don't you listen sometime? Oh we just go with
your home wrecking advice.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
And you're just mad because he got caught, and you know,
I have a life for it.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
I'm man because he didn't think anyhing about that.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Dro I known a day's letter on Instagram at Steve
Harvey FM and check us out on the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up next to
his Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
Harvey Morning Show
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