May 14, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been married for thirteen years and my wife and I work from home. I do food deliveries two nights a week just so I can get out of the house and give her some space. She goes walking with ladies in our neighborhood to give me space. I love that she's lost weight and kept it off, and so have I. We don't have sex as much as we used to, but when we do we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem to be great with us, but it's not because my wife has let herself go in a lot of ways....................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Thank you if you subject. My wife used to keep
herself up. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for thirteen
years and my wife and I work from home. I
do food deliveries two nights a week just so I
can get out of the house and give her some space.
She goes walking with ladies in our neighborhood to give
me space. I love that she's lost weight and kept
(00:46):
it off, and so have I. We don't have sex
as much as we used to, but when we do
we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem to
be great with us, but it's not because my wife
has let herself go in a lot of ways. I
know you're going to say, I'm being petty, and I
might be the one with the problem, but check this out.
Whenever my wife and I are about to be intimate,
(01:08):
I encourage her to take a nice bubble bass to
get in a mood. I have to do that for
more reasons than one. When she's going walking with the
other ladies, I suggest that she wear a baseball cap
instead of her hairscarf that she wears to bed every night.
I ordered her exercise clothes so she will stop walking
in my big T shirt and her old jogging pants
(01:29):
with holes in them. I want her to present herself
better than that. When she's waving at our neighbors as
she walks by, I have asked her if she realizes
her nails are grown out and need to be redone,
and she's told me that they're fine since she doesn't
have plans to go anywhere. Same with the toeenails, because
she stopped trimming them herself. Maybe I'm being too hard
(01:49):
on her, but I want her to be my cute,
sexy wife at all times, and if I have to
keep reminding her to do certain things to maintain herself,
it's a problem. Why do I have to tell her
to bathe? Am I wrong for how I feel. Please help. Well, no,
you're not wrong. How you feel is how you feel.
And if your wife is not bathing bathing, you have
(02:11):
an obligation as her husband to tell her period. I mean,
that's not being petty. Now, why she's not bathing is
a whole other issue. It sounds like just plain laziness
at this point. She works from home now see, and
has nowhere to go, so she doesn't feel the need
or the purpose of doing anything like getting dressed or
(02:33):
getting her hair done or getting her nails done. That
requires a lot of effort for nowhere to go and
nothing to do. And I'm just gonna say she's stuck
right now.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
She really is. She's kind of in a rut. She's stuck.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But she has to remember that men have egos, they're visual,
So please you know this could lead into other things like,
you know, causing him to cheat or giving him a
reason to cheat, and that's what you do. I don't
want him to do. Not keeping yourself is reason enough
for some men not to cheat. If you don't keep
(03:06):
yourself up. Marriage is work. We all know that, and
part of that work is not letting yourself go. So
you husband I need you to start planning some date nights,
some dinners out, get back to doing things with friends
outside of the house, so your wife will have a
reason to get dressed and start feeling good about herself again.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Steve, Wow, surely, great answer, great answer, great answer. I
am going to disagree with damn near everything you said
because I think we need to have a counter to this.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Surely, your answers are always.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Pretty much close to the vest, and you know you more,
you know, you know, you try to be more. I
guess diplomatic in your responses out. On the other hand,
that ain't my job. That ain't my job. So I
will show you what my job is.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Do your job.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I've been married.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Thirteen years and my wife and I work from home,
so he do food deliveries two nights a week so
he can give his wife some space, and she go
walking in the daytime with her ladies to give him
some space since they work from home. They tied each other. Yeah,
see that space. Even though everybody needs space. I don't
(04:34):
care who you are. Everybody needs space. But you're trying
to get out of the man and she trying to
get out of that. And I understand that because y'all
working from home, y'all around each other all the time.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Now she goes walking with the ladies in our neighborhood
to give me space. And I love the fact that
she's lost weight and kept it off, and so have I.
We don't have sex like we used to. Nobody does, sir,
but we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem
to be great with us, but it's not.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And why is it not?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Because my wife to let herself go in a lot
of ways. Let me stop right here. If a man
writes into a radio show, he and his wits in.
Men don't write in seeking help unless they really need help.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
He over this help, this little routine she pulling. He
done with her?
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Now, Like he said, some people be talking about, well,
you got to be the problem.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You love your wife the way she is.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I don't know who keep telling you all that, you know,
especially when women say, man have to take me as
I am.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
No, he don't. That ain't in our book nowhere.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Whenever my wife and I about to be intimate, I
encourage her to take a nice bubble bath to get
in the move. I have to do that for more
reasons than one. Now, he's trying to be nice.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Right here.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I try to encourage her to take a bubble bath
to get in the mood for more reasons than one. Now,
the man don't want to out his wife, but we
all know what that means. You you then walked. Come
on now, friction, Come on now you're up in hill
(06:33):
lot it it got hot, all right?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Hang on your response?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Uh uh?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Coming up on twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry letter,
subject my wife used to keep herself up. We'll get
back into it right after this.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You're listening.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. The subject is my wife you used to
keep herself up?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
This is a letter about a man who won't been
married thirteen years and they work from home, so they
run each other all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
They need some space.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
He makes food delivered twice a week at night to
give her some space, and she go walking with the
ladies in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Give him some space. Everybody needs space.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Uh. You know, when they intimate, they don't have sex
like they used to, but when they intimate, the chemistry
still there. And then I say, you know, but now
here go problem. Whenever we about to be intimate, I
encourage her to take a bubble bath to get in
the mood. I have to do that for more reasons
than one. First of all, let me tell you something.
(07:39):
Men don't need a bubble bath to get in the mood.
Something is wrong here, Something is wrong. I ain't ever
got ready to go in there and say, baby, you
wanna go on in there and take a bubble bath now,
because I don't need nothing to cause you to change
your mind. And if we hear now, it looks like
(07:59):
it's pop off. In the words of Marvin Gate, let's
get it home. Come on all right now, Now you
have to encourage her to take a nice bubble bath
for more reasons than one, because she at walking with them. Ladies,
see friction are now here, we are. We need to
(08:27):
get in this water. Then, he says, I suggest she
wear a baseball cap on her head instead of that
hasscoff that she wear the bed every night. Now hold on,
hold up now, now this scarf is doing double duty.
We all know about that scarf. It's y'all's favorite. It's
(08:48):
the one you won't It's a silk scarf. Keeps your
hand place and keeps it from breaking off. But you
can't wear it that night and all day too, and.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Then wrap it in a night This too much back
in the day when you had.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
The sofa ad and the Glover's Maine, you know, stuff
like that. You know it's tied right here, this thing
bergamont ulchrasine pro line.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
You know, it just was just wrong. It was just wrong,
you know, sporting waves all this here.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Now, I ordered her some expensive I ordered her some
exercise clothes so she can stop walking in my big
T shirt and old jogging pants with holes in them.
Because I want her to present herself better than that
when she waving at our neighbors as she walked by.
Because a man's job is to protect and provide. He
protected his image, her image. He provides her with new
(09:46):
workout clothes so she can walk by the look more decent.
I have asked her if she realizes that her nails
have grown out and they need to be redone. She
told me, they find since she don't have plans to
go anywhere, Shirley said, and then she said same with
the toenails, because she stopped trimming herself sly Shirley said,
(10:07):
she's lazy.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
This is not lazy, this is trifling.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
There's a difference between lazy and trifling.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Then she said, maybe we ought to take out on
date night? Anybody taking her?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
No, damn well, you got these claws on your hands
and feet, you looking like an eagle snatching a fish.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Up out of lake. And now you think I'm finna
get you dressed up and we going somewhere. We ain't
gonna know where. I'm gonna tell you what's really wrong.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Maybe I'm being too hard on her, but I want
her to be my cute, sexy wife at all times,
and I have to keep reminding her to do certain
things to maintain herself as a problem. Why do I
have to tell her to bathe? Am I wrong for
how I feel? Please help? No, you're not wrong for
how you feel. Everybody want their girl to be fresh.
(11:06):
Most men's wives are cleaner than them. Most women that
I've seen and met, they really in the up take
care of their business women. For the most part, man
they know how to put it on. I very rarely
see women that ain't trying.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
To do right. I just don't yours. Then gave up.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
To say ladies's just trifling, and she being a little
bit trifling right now. But I'm gonna tell you what
the real reason is. Shirley says she's stuck. She's not stuck.
She has taken him and the marriage for granted. And
(11:49):
that is what I talk to women about all the time.
The thing that hurts a man most of all is
when we get taken for granted and we are not appreciated.
If you got a man that's out here working, you
got a man buying you new exercise coach. You got
a man in here wanting you to take a bath,
reminding you to clip your toenails, to clip your This
(12:12):
man is doing all he can. But you are sitting
up there thinking, you my husband, you ain't going nowhere.
So now you've taken your marriage and your man for granted.
And so now once you take us for granted and
you stop showing appreciation, you stop fixing up the package, Well,
(12:35):
I got news for you.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Oh, I'm gonna tell you right now. He looking around.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
He ain't just wrote this letter because he trying to
stop the wandering eyes he got because he looking around,
he's seeing what put together look like.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Y'all got I g sir. Yes, hit that little circle
that say search Lord Mercy. That's what he's seeing.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
All right, and that's what you want.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Your day's raby.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Are you gonna lose hell? Period?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVFM
on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never Sounded So good.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
You can download it today now.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we
got Junior and sports talk.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Right after this. You're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Thank you if you subject. My wife used to keep
herself up. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for thirteen
years and my wife and I work from home. I
do food deliveries two nights a week just so I
can get out of the house and give her some space.
She goes walking with ladies in our neighborhood to give
me space. I love that she's lost weight and kept
(00:46):
it off, and so have I. We don't have sex
as much as we used to, but when we do
we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem to
be great with us, but it's not because my wife
has let herself go in a lot of ways. I
know you're going to say, I'm being petty, and I
might be the one with the problem, but check this out.
Whenever my wife and I are about to be intimate,
(01:08):
I encourage her to take a nice bubble bass to
get in a mood. I have to do that for
more reasons than one. When she's going walking with the
other ladies, I suggest that she wear a baseball cap
instead of her hairscarf that she wears to bed every night.
I ordered her exercise clothes so she will stop walking
in my big T shirt and her old jogging pants
(01:29):
with holes in them. I want her to present herself
better than that. When she's waving at our neighbors as
she walks by, I have asked her if she realizes
her nails are grown out and need to be redone,
and she's told me that they're fine since she doesn't
have plans to go anywhere. Same with the toeenails, because
she stopped trimming them herself. Maybe I'm being too hard
(01:49):
on her, but I want her to be my cute,
sexy wife at all times, and if I have to
keep reminding her to do certain things to maintain herself,
it's a problem. Why do I have to tell her
to bathe? Am I wrong for how I feel. Please help. Well, no,
you're not wrong. How you feel is how you feel.
And if your wife is not bathing bathing, you have
(02:11):
an obligation as her husband to tell her period. I mean,
that's not being petty. Now, why she's not bathing is
a whole other issue. It sounds like just plain laziness
at this point. She works from home now see, and
has nowhere to go, so she doesn't feel the need
or the purpose of doing anything like getting dressed or
(02:33):
getting her hair done or getting her nails done. That
requires a lot of effort for nowhere to go and
nothing to do. And I'm just gonna say she's stuck
right now.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
She really is. She's kind of in a rut. She's stuck.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But she has to remember that men have egos, they're visual,
So please you know this could lead into other things like,
you know, causing him to cheat or giving him a
reason to cheat, and that's what you do. I don't
want him to do. Not keeping yourself is reason enough
for some men not to cheat. If you don't keep
(03:06):
yourself up. Marriage is work. We all know that, and
part of that work is not letting yourself go. So
you husband I need you to start planning some date nights,
some dinners out, get back to doing things with friends
outside of the house, so your wife will have a
reason to get dressed and start feeling good about herself again.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Steve, Wow, surely, great answer, great answer, great answer. I
am going to disagree with damn near everything you said
because I think we need to have a counter to this.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Surely, your answers are always.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Pretty much close to the vest, and you know you more,
you know, you know, you try to be more. I
guess diplomatic in your responses out. On the other hand,
that ain't my job. That ain't my job. So I
will show you what my job is.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Do your job.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I've been married.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Thirteen years and my wife and I work from home,
so he do food deliveries two nights a week so
he can give his wife some space, and she go
walking in the daytime with her ladies to give him
some space since they work from home. They tied each other. Yeah,
see that space. Even though everybody needs space. I don't
(04:34):
care who you are. Everybody needs space. But you're trying
to get out of the man and she trying to
get out of that. And I understand that because y'all
working from home, y'all around each other all the time.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Now she goes walking with the ladies in our neighborhood
to give me space. And I love the fact that
she's lost weight and kept it off, and so have I.
We don't have sex like we used to. Nobody does, sir,
but we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem
to be great with us, but it's not.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And why is it not?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Because my wife to let herself go in a lot
of ways. Let me stop right here. If a man
writes into a radio show, he and his wits in.
Men don't write in seeking help unless they really need help.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
He over this help, this little routine she pulling. He
done with her?
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Now, Like he said, some people be talking about, well,
you got to be the problem.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You love your wife the way she is.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I don't know who keep telling you all that, you know,
especially when women say, man have to take me as
I am.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
No, he don't. That ain't in our book nowhere.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Whenever my wife and I about to be intimate, I
encourage her to take a nice bubble bath to get
in the move. I have to do that for more
reasons than one. Now, he's trying to be nice.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Right here.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I try to encourage her to take a bubble bath
to get in the mood for more reasons than one. Now,
the man don't want to out his wife, but we
all know what that means. You you then walked. Come
on now, friction, Come on now you're up in hill
(06:33):
lot it it got hot, all right?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Hang on your response?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Uh uh?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Coming up on twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry letter,
subject my wife used to keep herself up. We'll get
back into it right after this.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You're listening.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. The subject is my wife you used to
keep herself up?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
This is a letter about a man who won't been
married thirteen years and they work from home, so they
run each other all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
They need some space.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
He makes food delivered twice a week at night to
give her some space, and she go walking with the
ladies in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Give him some space. Everybody needs space.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Uh. You know, when they intimate, they don't have sex
like they used to, but when they intimate, the chemistry
still there. And then I say, you know, but now
here go problem. Whenever we about to be intimate, I
encourage her to take a bubble bath to get in
the mood. I have to do that for more reasons
than one. First of all, let me tell you something.
(07:39):
Men don't need a bubble bath to get in the mood.
Something is wrong here, Something is wrong. I ain't ever
got ready to go in there and say, baby, you
wanna go on in there and take a bubble bath now,
because I don't need nothing to cause you to change
your mind. And if we hear now, it looks like
(07:59):
it's pop off. In the words of Marvin Gate, let's
get it home. Come on all right now, Now you
have to encourage her to take a nice bubble bath
for more reasons than one, because she at walking with them. Ladies,
see friction are now here, we are. We need to
(08:27):
get in this water. Then, he says, I suggest she
wear a baseball cap on her head instead of that
hasscoff that she wear the bed every night. Now hold on,
hold up now, now this scarf is doing double duty.
We all know about that scarf. It's y'all's favorite. It's
(08:48):
the one you won't It's a silk scarf. Keeps your
hand place and keeps it from breaking off. But you
can't wear it that night and all day too, and.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Then wrap it in a night This too much back
in the day when you had.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
The sofa ad and the Glover's Maine, you know, stuff
like that. You know it's tied right here, this thing
bergamont ulchrasine pro line.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
You know, it just was just wrong. It was just wrong,
you know, sporting waves all this here.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Now, I ordered her some expensive I ordered her some
exercise clothes so she can stop walking in my big
T shirt and old jogging pants with holes in them.
Because I want her to present herself better than that
when she waving at our neighbors as she walked by.
Because a man's job is to protect and provide. He
protected his image, her image. He provides her with new
(09:46):
workout clothes so she can walk by the look more decent.
I have asked her if she realizes that her nails
have grown out and they need to be redone. She
told me, they find since she don't have plans to
go anywhere, Shirley said, and then she said same with
the toenails, because she stopped trimming herself sly Shirley said,
(10:07):
she's lazy.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
This is not lazy, this is trifling.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
There's a difference between lazy and trifling.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Then she said, maybe we ought to take out on
date night? Anybody taking her?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
No, damn well, you got these claws on your hands
and feet, you looking like an eagle snatching a fish.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Up out of lake. And now you think I'm finna
get you dressed up and we going somewhere. We ain't
gonna know where. I'm gonna tell you what's really wrong.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Maybe I'm being too hard on her, but I want
her to be my cute, sexy wife at all times,
and I have to keep reminding her to do certain
things to maintain herself as a problem. Why do I
have to tell her to bathe? Am I wrong for
how I feel? Please help? No, you're not wrong for
how you feel. Everybody want their girl to be fresh.
(11:06):
Most men's wives are cleaner than them. Most women that
I've seen and met, they really in the up take
care of their business women. For the most part, man
they know how to put it on. I very rarely
see women that ain't trying.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
To do right. I just don't yours. Then gave up.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
To say ladies's just trifling, and she being a little
bit trifling right now. But I'm gonna tell you what
the real reason is. Shirley says she's stuck. She's not stuck.
She has taken him and the marriage for granted. And
(11:49):
that is what I talk to women about all the time.
The thing that hurts a man most of all is
when we get taken for granted and we are not appreciated.
If you got a man that's out here working, you
got a man buying you new exercise coach. You got
a man in here wanting you to take a bath,
reminding you to clip your toenails, to clip your This
(12:12):
man is doing all he can. But you are sitting
up there thinking, you my husband, you ain't going nowhere.
So now you've taken your marriage and your man for granted.
And so now once you take us for granted and
you stop showing appreciation, you stop fixing up the package, Well,
(12:35):
I got news for you.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Oh, I'm gonna tell you right now. He looking around.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
He ain't just wrote this letter because he trying to
stop the wandering eyes he got because he looking around,
he's seeing what put together look like.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Y'all got I g sir. Yes, hit that little circle
that say search Lord Mercy. That's what he's seeing.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
All right, and that's what you want.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Your day's raby.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Are you gonna lose hell? Period?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVFM
on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never Sounded So good.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
You can download it today now.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we
got Junior and sports talk.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Right after this. You're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show.
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