AI Girlfriend Chatbots, UFO Cosplay Drones, and Dihydrogen Monoxide

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February 8, 2024 • 16 mins

Back in the day, before robots and the internet, guys and gals who longed for the company of a significant other had one move up their sleeve: pluck up the courage to leave the house and talk to another human. Nowadays-ish, people search for love from home aided by computers and a social media background check (thanks Wayback Machine). Nowadays proper, the pool from which to select a lover has expanded to include artificial intelligence. In today’s post-ChatGPT age, AI girlfriend chatbots are on the market but you better keep it hush-hush… apparently, OpenAI don’t want you to meet their digital darlings, especially Tiffany or Nadia.

Speaking of intelligence, the former director of the Pentagon’s All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO), Sean Kirkpatrick, squashed our dreams in a recent interview, candidly admitting that UAP sightings (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena - we don’t call them UFOs anymore) were likely just top secret military intelligence drones. Awesome. So why make such a big deal about releasing the UFO files? We don’t buy it. They’re definitely hiding something.

On the topic of misinformation, in 1997, 14-year-old junior high school student Nathan Zohner warned his fellow students about a dangerous substance called dihydrogen monoxide, or DHMO. It’s colourless, odourless, tasteless and yet kills thousands of people every year through accidental inhalation. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage and in its gaseous form, DHMO causes severe burns.

It’s found in cancers and infected wounds, and large quantities have been confirmed in every river, stream, lake and reservoir in America. But most terrifying is that everyone who drinks DHMO goes on to eventually die. How can this be legal??

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