April 12, 2024 • 20 mins
Welcome to an introspective discussion on womanhood, self-authenticity, strength, and resilience as inspired by our host, Ennelih. With personal experiences, she delves into the complexities of womanhood in her podcast, "Embracing Vulnerability". Ennelih draws strength from her mother's authentic life, her resilience and her courage, and aspires to serve as a beacon of influence to other women. She uses the metaphor of driving to describe her journey towards self-realization and life navigation.
The episode further delves into the roles, responsibilities, and burdens that women uphold in society, while highlighting their innate leadership qualities that enable them to balance life seamlessly. A dedicated segment appreciates work-from-home mothers and wives, acknowledging their efforts and struggles, reminding them of their worth.
Struggling with technology dependence is a topic discussed at length. Learn how to cultivate balance and boundaries in your life, and the importance of disconnecting from the internet for peace of mind. Annalie shares insights into dealing with the persistent intrusion of work into personal time and establishing boundaries for better mental health.
The discussion also navigates the importance of a strong support system and the power of nurturing reciprocal relationships in all aspects of life. It warns against toxic relationships and work environments, emphasizing the importance of pruning negativity. The episode concludes with a book recommendation - 'An Authentic Human Guide to Finding Meaningful Work' by Deborah Morey - that offers profound insights on work-life balance.
This soulful episode is not just for women seeking reassurance and encouragement, but for anyone looking to understand the complexities of womanhood and life balance better. Join us as we grow through our experiences, hoping you find inspiration along the way.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Embracing Vulnerability. I'm your host, Annalie. I feel like my intros are the most unserious.
I'm not sure why I can't get it together and get something memorized and say
it every single time I start this podcast.
For some reason, the outro, I memorized it, I edited it, I thought about it,
(00:21):
I tried to make it sound cohesive, and I'm not sure.
I don't really know what's going on with my intros, But the way I can describe
it is I feel like I know my beloved ones, everyone who's listening.
I feel like I'm too comfortable and too safe and too vulnerable to even bother.
Let's say if I went into your house or we went to the park, the library,
(00:44):
a convention, I feel like I've known you my whole life.
And I don't need to be formal and the most smart person in the room and the
person that takes up the most space.
I feel like I don't have to give you say hello
to you with a handshake I feel like I don't have to give you a kiss when I when
I see you I feel like I don't have to give you a hug I feel like you know me
(01:07):
so well that I can just be myself and come and come on here and be like hey
then so this happened nah because this is what's happening to me for example
this very morning I was hoping to watch.
To wash six loads of clothes and I ended up
only washing two because one of the washing machines decided
to eat up my quarters and that same very
(01:28):
washing machine that was broken for over seven
months now the I'm assuming
the quarter holder is full and I was just like you know what I'm gonna do these
two loads and call it a day I'll continue washing clothes on Monday on Tuesday
whatever it's not that serious most of the clothes that's in here I made sure
that it was underwear wear and the basic clothes that we need for the next few days.
(01:53):
I'm not going to stress myself out. This washing machine is not about to take me out for the day.
I'm going to keep it moving. I'm not going to call anybody and complain about
it. When they fix it, they fix it.
Whatever. I'm going to use one washing machine. That's fine.
Now the clothes, one load is in the dryer and in about an hour,
I gotta go back and put the next load in the dryer to be done with that.
(02:16):
So today I want to read, not read, I want to talk about womanhood.
Womanhood is a serious endeavor.
I am thankful my mother had her own life, separate from being a mother and a wife.
I feel like the reason I can holds up space on earth
is because I saw her be her most authentic self and
(02:38):
I never saw her crying even though
she was going through terrifying things behind the doors with
my father he never let it show he was always very strong in front of her children
and I'm so thankful for that because I didn't see her in shambles I'm able to
understand what it looks like being whole what it looks like appearing to be
(03:00):
whole what it looks like working towards being whole.
I know many of us don't have that. There's no women around you that are pillars
of your education, of your self-worth, of validation, of love, of empathy.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that many of us don't have an example of what
(03:23):
womanhood should look like.
So we have to start from scratch and we have to make ourselves be the woman
that we want to be because we never saw it modeled for us.
Now my mom used to go on dates with my father she used to hang out with her friends,
yes my mom was at the disco dancing to
michael jackson in the 80s and the 90s she used
(03:44):
to play spades with her friends i never saw
her suffering while behind the scenes again my father used
to cheat on her all the time my mother being her
authentic self and not passing her traumas on to me is
very admirable and it's very challenging to do that because
of the simple fact that i see the other women
in my family who let their kids see their trauma fully
(04:06):
and now a lot of my cousins if not most their
mental healths are in shambles now they have
to do the work and I hope they're able to do the
work to find the skills to heal I am
hoping to be able to come on here and be as myself as possible I yearn to be
as whole as possible I yearn to be so authentic that other the people around
(04:30):
me have to question what it is that they're doing that they don't feel that
they're being their most authentic self.
Honesty time. I have been driving for over seven months now.
I am a rookie driver. I am still eating, kissing, and hugging the curves.
I am not an expert driver.
I'm doing my best. What helps me is I don't live in a congested area.
(04:51):
I don't live in a crowded area so I can take my time to continue to learn how to measure space.
I can be transparent and vulnerable to say I am not good at measuring space while I'm in the car.
For now, I believe I can get there. I trust myself to get there.
(05:13):
I trust myself to take my time to be a better driver. Every time I get on here,
I am afraid of not being my most authentic self.
I am being vulnerable for myself first, then for my daughter,
because she's looking up to me. I cannot take my mental health lightly.
I need and want my daughter to look at herself in the mirror daily and have
(05:35):
the tools to be able to love herself, respect herself, and show up for herself.
I take becoming whole and healed very seriously.
I hope that you are taking Becoming Whole and Healed very serious as well,
because womanhood is a serious endeavor.
We are women who are holding space. We are holding families.
(05:55):
We are holding loved ones. We are holding jobs.
We are holding generations. We are holding respect. We are holding empathy. We are holding careers.
We are holding love. We are holding vulnerability. We are holding generosity.
We are holding the community. We are holding many things, and then we do it
the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day.
(06:18):
We are able as women to balance many things beautifully.
We are natural managers. We are natural leaders. We are natural supervisors. It comes easy to us.
It comes very easy to us. And I'm saying this boldly as a woman who has been
able to figure out many things on her own.
And usually the women that I surround myself also know how to do that.
(06:40):
If you are a woman who doesn't know who doesn't know how to do that that's okay
you can get there if that's what you choose to do you don't have to model yourself
necessarily exactly as another woman but i am hoping to build a community where
we can hold ourself accountable and cheer up.
Cheer on each other. Be each other's cheerleader and truthfully and honestly
(07:03):
be there for each other because I'm tired of seeing so many women be in a space
where there's, I'm going to give an example.
10 women in a room, they'll kiki, they'll haha, and then behind each other's
back, they're cutting each other's throats.
I've seen too many women that they talk so much crap behind each other and then
they go out and hang out every single weekend.
(07:25):
Can they doing things with they doing places with
their kids they're getting matching tattoos but behind the
scenes they're criticizing each other over the tiniest things and it's not right
i'm not saying you can't comment on certain things that you don't agree on about
your friend it's the way that you comment about it if it's coming from a hateful
(07:45):
spiteful jealous place you're not really really that person's friend.
You're not really there for them. You're a hater and you're disguising yourself
as a friend and it's not cute.
Now, another thing, if you're a work-from-home mother or a wife,
never let anyone tell you that you are doing less.
(08:06):
If you are not a work-from-home mother or wife, this does not apply to you. Keep it moving.
Work-from-home mom or wife, life. You're allowed to be overstimulated.
You are allowed to be burnt out. You are allowed to be cranky.
You're allowed to dissociate yourself from the world from time to time.
I understand you are not able to leave work at the door or separate home life from work life.
(08:30):
I'm doing this podcast first for me, then my loved ones. All of you around the
world who are listening are my loved ones.
If you are listening to me right now, you are my loved one.
This podcast has helped me so much
in creating my space and making myself vulnerable and remembering to be.
(08:52):
The best that I can be, giving my 1% daily so that I can improve my mental,
physical, and spiritual life, giving myself a platform also for the days I'm not my best self.
I am allowed to feel tired of making sacrifices.
I'm allowed to doom scroll at night, but I also have to listen to the part of
me that reminds me, aka my intuition.
(09:15):
Hey, Hey, remember six hours or more of sleep. Hey, remember you've suffered
labor pains for almost two years and you're making the changes now to do your
16-8 fasting technique in order to improve your pain.
Hey, remember that you are doing a good job. Hey, remember to try not to fold
(09:35):
into old beliefs and old patterns.
Hey, remember it's okay not to be okay. we have
to remind ourselves many things every day and it's
challenging and it's difficult because there are
days for example when the sun is not out and it's
cloudy and it's raining I want to stay in bed cuddling on
my sheets on my pillow closing my eyes and waking up at 1 p.m but I have responsibilities
(10:00):
I have things that I need to do and come 10 30 p.m at night that's my my time
where I need to disconnect and rest.
I want to create a space with my family where we can disconnect from devices
and genuinely bond with each other.
Some of my family members don't really agree on doing that. It's very challenging
(10:23):
for them to remove themselves from devices.
Sometimes I feel like I want to delete Instagram.
And the reason why I don't delete Instagram is because I have people on there
that I don't necessarily want to have their numbers to keep keep in contact
of acquaintances from middle school that I don't have a deep connection,
(10:43):
a deep connection or a deep bond with where I would give them my number so we can keep in touch.
Just keep an Instagram for entertainment because I let go of Facebook nine years
ago and I haven't looked back.
It's okay to disconnect from the internet, from the world, from comments, from your job.
But when you're a work-from-home mother or wife or when you're a work-from-home
(11:06):
person in general, you cannot disconnect your life and your work.
And what you need to do, and I hope that you're doing this, is you're creating
boundaries and you're not answering emails after 5 p.m.
If your work life is from 9 to 5 or from 6 to 3 or 8 to 4, whatever the schedule is,
(11:26):
make sure when it's clock out time, do not answer emails, do not answer phone
calls, because that's how you are causing yourself to not have boundaries between
work and your personal life.
You're continuing to be available when you don't want to be available deep down in your soul.
You're being a people pleaser. when you're
doing that whole answering an email at 9 p.m when
(11:48):
you clocked out at 2 p.m you're being a people pleaser
stop doing that nobody's paying you for
you to be out the clock working we're not
doing that here me i'm not doing that i've never done it i've been very clear
with my job and my boundaries after it's clock out time i'm not answering emails
till the next day or phone calls people have tried it over the years to call
(12:13):
me to reach out they said no and And if anyone has anything to say, my answer is always,
oh, you called me outside of business hours.
That simple. Nobody on this earth, on this planet can make me answer a phone
call or email after I no longer am on Mr. Sam's time.
Okay, not doing it. I'm not sacrificing my mental health for a paycheck.
(12:34):
I'm not doing it. I've never needed money so much that I needed to stop.
Not sure. I'm trying to think of an example. but I've never needed money so
much that I needed to stop.
Being at the grocery store or that I needed to have or that I needed to in the middle of my brunch.
Oh, hey, give me a second. My boss is calling me. I'm not doing that.
(12:56):
I don't care if you're the CEO, general manager, president of the United States.
I'm not answering when I'm not available and I'm not available after clock out time.
Whatever that time is for you, please respect Why don't you respect yourself?
Why don't you respect yourself enough to not answer emails after your clock out time?
(13:21):
Sweetie, you're not being your most authentic self. You're not being kind to
yourself. You're not respecting yourself.
Please try to love yourself a little bit more. That job that you have,
I understand, is paying your bills. and never feel like it's too late to enforce boundaries.
If you're a person that are already doing that and it's burning you out and
(13:44):
you hate it, start thinking of a way to respectfully, this is why we have ChatGPT.
Go to ChatGPT, insert your feelings
on there about how to tell your boss or a
coworker or any facility that you
do not answer after a certain
time and chapter gpt will spit
(14:06):
out a professional way to tell
those people that you're not going to answer things after a certain time the
internet is there to help us we have the tools in our hands if we don't know
how to do something we can search it up i am not afraid to ask questions but
i also like to do my research before i ask anyone anything thing.
(14:28):
And if I feel like the research that I'm getting, I'm not understanding,
I will ask someone in a heartbeat, like, hey, this is what I researched, but I still don't get it.
I was hoping that you can help me with this.
And guess what? My loved ones always have an answer for everything,
for every question that I have.
Everyone around me is a resource for me.
(14:51):
And I love that for myself. I I love that I can go to my brother,
to my sister, to my bestie, to my mom, my grandmother.
I love that I can go to the 15 people closest to me, to my heart,
to my soul, to the root of my being.
I can go to those 15 people and each one of those people has something to contribute to my life.
(15:17):
Somebody is better at finances, the other person is better with cars,
the other person is better with tech, the other person is better with communication,
the other person is good with medicine.
Every person in my family, in my closed dome, in my loved one circles,
I don't want to say family because a lot of the people in my close circle are not family.
(15:41):
I feel like they are part of my family because we've created a bond of respect
and mutual mutual love that makes it feel like they're family.
But I like to call them loved ones because it feels, to me, it feels better. It feels more genuine.
So the 15 people in my life that are the nuclear center of me,
(16:01):
if that's even a correct term, the people who are part of my DNA,
my structure, my genes, who are pillars in my life, they each have something
to contribute to to me, whether it's art, love,
mental health, physical health, finances,
you name it.
You name it and there's someone in my close tightness circle that knows something
(16:23):
really well, that they do something so well that I can count on them being a reliable resource.
They are my reliable resources. I don't need to go to Google for anything.
I can ask any of my loved ones and And they will have the answer for it.
That's what we're here for. We're here to uplift each other,
to learn something and to pass it on and pour it onto others.
(16:45):
That's what I'm hoping to do.
I'm hoping to pour it onto others so that they can pour it onto me.
Never be in a relationship where all you do is give, give, give and the other
person doesn't give you anything.
It has to be equivalent exchange. It has to be reciprocal.
Serve them so they can serve you. But if the person is not serving you back,
(17:06):
you got to cut them off, cut them out.
Plants get pruned, right? Plants get pruned and they go through propagation, is the word.
And a lot of them make it growing beautifully, new leaves.
The conditions that some of them are on, people are able to bring them back
to life when the leaves are drooping and this and that and the third.
(17:28):
If plants can do it, we can do so as human beings. Cut those parts out of you that don't benefit you.
Cut those people out of you that don't benefit you.
If your mental health is getting deteriorated by that job, apply to a job daily. One job daily.
If you can, please find the time. There's time for everything under the sun.
(17:48):
Find the time to apply to a job daily.
Find the courage. Find the stamina. Find the self-love, self-care,
self-value to push yourself to do that.
Sacrifice yourself now so that you have a better life later.
Later because later you will thank yourself that you made
the sacrifices while you had the energy and the stamina and
(18:10):
just then the
yearning the craving for prosperity for generational wealth for creation for
overabundance while you have all those thoughts make sure you do something with
them don't just leave the thoughts in your brain put them on paper and bring
them to life now i want to say today,
(18:32):
I want to recommend, this is not a sponsor.
I need to try to remember to say that I'm not sponsoring any of these.
I'm just recommending them because I like them.
The recommendation for this week is a book called An Authentic Human Guide to
Finding Meaningful Work by Deborah Morey.
I'm going to repeat the name of the book. You can find it in Amazon.
(18:52):
That's where I got it. I'm pretty sure you can get it everywhere else.
The name of the book is An Authentic Human Human Guide to Finding Meaningful Work by Deborah Mori.
If you used to watch Jenna Marbles in YouTube, the author of this book,
Deborah Mori, is Jenna Marbles' mom. Oh, how I loved Jenna.
(19:13):
I miss her so much. I hope she's doing well.
Thank you so much to everyone who is listening.
I did my best to communicate how I feel today, what I wanted to talk about.
If how vulnerable I have been today with you has helped in any way,
please download the episode and follow me.
I release new episodes every Wednesday and Fridays.
(19:36):
My podcast is now available on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio,
Player FM, Listen Notes, Samsung Podcasts, Podchaser, Boomplay,
Deezer, and Podcast Addict.
Find me wherever you get your podcasts. I am growing through every experience. I hope that you are too.
(19:57):
See how serious that outro was? Jesus. Get it together, intro.
Welcome to Embracing Vulnerability. I'm your host, Annalie. I feel like my intros are the most unserious.
I'm not sure why I can't get it together and get something memorized and say
it every single time I start this podcast.
For some reason, the outro, I memorized it, I edited it, I thought about it,
(00:21):
I tried to make it sound cohesive, and I'm not sure.
I don't really know what's going on with my intros, But the way I can describe
it is I feel like I know my beloved ones, everyone who's listening.
I feel like I'm too comfortable and too safe and too vulnerable to even bother.
Let's say if I went into your house or we went to the park, the library,
(00:44):
a convention, I feel like I've known you my whole life.
And I don't need to be formal and the most smart person in the room and the
person that takes up the most space.
I feel like I don't have to give you say hello
to you with a handshake I feel like I don't have to give you a kiss when I when
I see you I feel like I don't have to give you a hug I feel like you know me
(01:07):
so well that I can just be myself and come and come on here and be like hey
then so this happened nah because this is what's happening to me for example
this very morning I was hoping to watch.
To wash six loads of clothes and I ended up
only washing two because one of the washing machines decided
to eat up my quarters and that same very
(01:28):
washing machine that was broken for over seven
months now the I'm assuming
the quarter holder is full and I was just like you know what I'm gonna do these
two loads and call it a day I'll continue washing clothes on Monday on Tuesday
whatever it's not that serious most of the clothes that's in here I made sure
that it was underwear wear and the basic clothes that we need for the next few days.
(01:53):
I'm not going to stress myself out. This washing machine is not about to take me out for the day.
I'm going to keep it moving. I'm not going to call anybody and complain about
it. When they fix it, they fix it.
Whatever. I'm going to use one washing machine. That's fine.
Now the clothes, one load is in the dryer and in about an hour,
I gotta go back and put the next load in the dryer to be done with that.
(02:16):
So today I want to read, not read, I want to talk about womanhood.
Womanhood is a serious endeavor.
I am thankful my mother had her own life, separate from being a mother and a wife.
I feel like the reason I can holds up space on earth
is because I saw her be her most authentic self and
(02:38):
I never saw her crying even though
she was going through terrifying things behind the doors with
my father he never let it show he was always very strong in front of her children
and I'm so thankful for that because I didn't see her in shambles I'm able to
understand what it looks like being whole what it looks like appearing to be
(03:00):
whole what it looks like working towards being whole.
I know many of us don't have that. There's no women around you that are pillars
of your education, of your self-worth, of validation, of love, of empathy.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that many of us don't have an example of what
(03:23):
womanhood should look like.
So we have to start from scratch and we have to make ourselves be the woman
that we want to be because we never saw it modeled for us.
Now my mom used to go on dates with my father she used to hang out with her friends,
yes my mom was at the disco dancing to
michael jackson in the 80s and the 90s she used
(03:44):
to play spades with her friends i never saw
her suffering while behind the scenes again my father used
to cheat on her all the time my mother being her
authentic self and not passing her traumas on to me is
very admirable and it's very challenging to do that because
of the simple fact that i see the other women
in my family who let their kids see their trauma fully
(04:06):
and now a lot of my cousins if not most their
mental healths are in shambles now they have
to do the work and I hope they're able to do the
work to find the skills to heal I am
hoping to be able to come on here and be as myself as possible I yearn to be
as whole as possible I yearn to be so authentic that other the people around
(04:30):
me have to question what it is that they're doing that they don't feel that
they're being their most authentic self.
Honesty time. I have been driving for over seven months now.
I am a rookie driver. I am still eating, kissing, and hugging the curves.
I am not an expert driver.
I'm doing my best. What helps me is I don't live in a congested area.
(04:51):
I don't live in a crowded area so I can take my time to continue to learn how to measure space.
I can be transparent and vulnerable to say I am not good at measuring space while I'm in the car.
For now, I believe I can get there. I trust myself to get there.
(05:13):
I trust myself to take my time to be a better driver. Every time I get on here,
I am afraid of not being my most authentic self.
I am being vulnerable for myself first, then for my daughter,
because she's looking up to me. I cannot take my mental health lightly.
I need and want my daughter to look at herself in the mirror daily and have
(05:35):
the tools to be able to love herself, respect herself, and show up for herself.
I take becoming whole and healed very seriously.
I hope that you are taking Becoming Whole and Healed very serious as well,
because womanhood is a serious endeavor.
We are women who are holding space. We are holding families.
(05:55):
We are holding loved ones. We are holding jobs.
We are holding generations. We are holding respect. We are holding empathy. We are holding careers.
We are holding love. We are holding vulnerability. We are holding generosity.
We are holding the community. We are holding many things, and then we do it
the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day.
(06:18):
We are able as women to balance many things beautifully.
We are natural managers. We are natural leaders. We are natural supervisors. It comes easy to us.
It comes very easy to us. And I'm saying this boldly as a woman who has been
able to figure out many things on her own.
And usually the women that I surround myself also know how to do that.
(06:40):
If you are a woman who doesn't know who doesn't know how to do that that's okay
you can get there if that's what you choose to do you don't have to model yourself
necessarily exactly as another woman but i am hoping to build a community where
we can hold ourself accountable and cheer up.
Cheer on each other. Be each other's cheerleader and truthfully and honestly
(07:03):
be there for each other because I'm tired of seeing so many women be in a space
where there's, I'm going to give an example.
10 women in a room, they'll kiki, they'll haha, and then behind each other's
back, they're cutting each other's throats.
I've seen too many women that they talk so much crap behind each other and then
they go out and hang out every single weekend.
(07:25):
Can they doing things with they doing places with
their kids they're getting matching tattoos but behind the
scenes they're criticizing each other over the tiniest things and it's not right
i'm not saying you can't comment on certain things that you don't agree on about
your friend it's the way that you comment about it if it's coming from a hateful
(07:45):
spiteful jealous place you're not really really that person's friend.
You're not really there for them. You're a hater and you're disguising yourself
as a friend and it's not cute.
Now, another thing, if you're a work-from-home mother or a wife,
never let anyone tell you that you are doing less.
(08:06):
If you are not a work-from-home mother or wife, this does not apply to you. Keep it moving.
Work-from-home mom or wife, life. You're allowed to be overstimulated.
You are allowed to be burnt out. You are allowed to be cranky.
You're allowed to dissociate yourself from the world from time to time.
I understand you are not able to leave work at the door or separate home life from work life.
(08:30):
I'm doing this podcast first for me, then my loved ones. All of you around the
world who are listening are my loved ones.
If you are listening to me right now, you are my loved one.
This podcast has helped me so much
in creating my space and making myself vulnerable and remembering to be.
(08:52):
The best that I can be, giving my 1% daily so that I can improve my mental,
physical, and spiritual life, giving myself a platform also for the days I'm not my best self.
I am allowed to feel tired of making sacrifices.
I'm allowed to doom scroll at night, but I also have to listen to the part of
me that reminds me, aka my intuition.
(09:15):
Hey, Hey, remember six hours or more of sleep. Hey, remember you've suffered
labor pains for almost two years and you're making the changes now to do your
16-8 fasting technique in order to improve your pain.
Hey, remember that you are doing a good job. Hey, remember to try not to fold
(09:35):
into old beliefs and old patterns.
Hey, remember it's okay not to be okay. we have
to remind ourselves many things every day and it's
challenging and it's difficult because there are
days for example when the sun is not out and it's
cloudy and it's raining I want to stay in bed cuddling on
my sheets on my pillow closing my eyes and waking up at 1 p.m but I have responsibilities
(10:00):
I have things that I need to do and come 10 30 p.m at night that's my my time
where I need to disconnect and rest.
I want to create a space with my family where we can disconnect from devices
and genuinely bond with each other.
Some of my family members don't really agree on doing that. It's very challenging
(10:23):
for them to remove themselves from devices.
Sometimes I feel like I want to delete Instagram.
And the reason why I don't delete Instagram is because I have people on there
that I don't necessarily want to have their numbers to keep keep in contact
of acquaintances from middle school that I don't have a deep connection,
(10:43):
a deep connection or a deep bond with where I would give them my number so we can keep in touch.
Just keep an Instagram for entertainment because I let go of Facebook nine years
ago and I haven't looked back.
It's okay to disconnect from the internet, from the world, from comments, from your job.
But when you're a work-from-home mother or wife or when you're a work-from-home
(11:06):
person in general, you cannot disconnect your life and your work.
And what you need to do, and I hope that you're doing this, is you're creating
boundaries and you're not answering emails after 5 p.m.
If your work life is from 9 to 5 or from 6 to 3 or 8 to 4, whatever the schedule is,
(11:26):
make sure when it's clock out time, do not answer emails, do not answer phone
calls, because that's how you are causing yourself to not have boundaries between
work and your personal life.
You're continuing to be available when you don't want to be available deep down in your soul.
You're being a people pleaser. when you're
doing that whole answering an email at 9 p.m when
(11:48):
you clocked out at 2 p.m you're being a people pleaser
stop doing that nobody's paying you for
you to be out the clock working we're not
doing that here me i'm not doing that i've never done it i've been very clear
with my job and my boundaries after it's clock out time i'm not answering emails
till the next day or phone calls people have tried it over the years to call
(12:13):
me to reach out they said no and And if anyone has anything to say, my answer is always,
oh, you called me outside of business hours.
That simple. Nobody on this earth, on this planet can make me answer a phone
call or email after I no longer am on Mr. Sam's time.
Okay, not doing it. I'm not sacrificing my mental health for a paycheck.
(12:34):
I'm not doing it. I've never needed money so much that I needed to stop.
Not sure. I'm trying to think of an example. but I've never needed money so
much that I needed to stop.
Being at the grocery store or that I needed to have or that I needed to in the middle of my brunch.
Oh, hey, give me a second. My boss is calling me. I'm not doing that.
(12:56):
I don't care if you're the CEO, general manager, president of the United States.
I'm not answering when I'm not available and I'm not available after clock out time.
Whatever that time is for you, please respect Why don't you respect yourself?
Why don't you respect yourself enough to not answer emails after your clock out time?
(13:21):
Sweetie, you're not being your most authentic self. You're not being kind to
yourself. You're not respecting yourself.
Please try to love yourself a little bit more. That job that you have,
I understand, is paying your bills. and never feel like it's too late to enforce boundaries.
If you're a person that are already doing that and it's burning you out and
(13:44):
you hate it, start thinking of a way to respectfully, this is why we have ChatGPT.
Go to ChatGPT, insert your feelings
on there about how to tell your boss or a
coworker or any facility that you
do not answer after a certain
time and chapter gpt will spit
(14:06):
out a professional way to tell
those people that you're not going to answer things after a certain time the
internet is there to help us we have the tools in our hands if we don't know
how to do something we can search it up i am not afraid to ask questions but
i also like to do my research before i ask anyone anything thing.
(14:28):
And if I feel like the research that I'm getting, I'm not understanding,
I will ask someone in a heartbeat, like, hey, this is what I researched, but I still don't get it.
I was hoping that you can help me with this.
And guess what? My loved ones always have an answer for everything,
for every question that I have.
Everyone around me is a resource for me.
(14:51):
And I love that for myself. I I love that I can go to my brother,
to my sister, to my bestie, to my mom, my grandmother.
I love that I can go to the 15 people closest to me, to my heart,
to my soul, to the root of my being.
I can go to those 15 people and each one of those people has something to contribute to my life.
(15:17):
Somebody is better at finances, the other person is better with cars,
the other person is better with tech, the other person is better with communication,
the other person is good with medicine.
Every person in my family, in my closed dome, in my loved one circles,
I don't want to say family because a lot of the people in my close circle are not family.
(15:41):
I feel like they are part of my family because we've created a bond of respect
and mutual mutual love that makes it feel like they're family.
But I like to call them loved ones because it feels, to me, it feels better. It feels more genuine.
So the 15 people in my life that are the nuclear center of me,
(16:01):
if that's even a correct term, the people who are part of my DNA,
my structure, my genes, who are pillars in my life, they each have something
to contribute to to me, whether it's art, love,
mental health, physical health, finances,
you name it.
You name it and there's someone in my close tightness circle that knows something
(16:23):
really well, that they do something so well that I can count on them being a reliable resource.
They are my reliable resources. I don't need to go to Google for anything.
I can ask any of my loved ones and And they will have the answer for it.
That's what we're here for. We're here to uplift each other,
to learn something and to pass it on and pour it onto others.
(16:45):
That's what I'm hoping to do.
I'm hoping to pour it onto others so that they can pour it onto me.
Never be in a relationship where all you do is give, give, give and the other
person doesn't give you anything.
It has to be equivalent exchange. It has to be reciprocal.
Serve them so they can serve you. But if the person is not serving you back,
(17:06):
you got to cut them off, cut them out.
Plants get pruned, right? Plants get pruned and they go through propagation, is the word.
And a lot of them make it growing beautifully, new leaves.
The conditions that some of them are on, people are able to bring them back
to life when the leaves are drooping and this and that and the third.
(17:28):
If plants can do it, we can do so as human beings. Cut those parts out of you that don't benefit you.
Cut those people out of you that don't benefit you.
If your mental health is getting deteriorated by that job, apply to a job daily. One job daily.
If you can, please find the time. There's time for everything under the sun.
(17:48):
Find the time to apply to a job daily.
Find the courage. Find the stamina. Find the self-love, self-care,
self-value to push yourself to do that.
Sacrifice yourself now so that you have a better life later.
Later because later you will thank yourself that you made
the sacrifices while you had the energy and the stamina and
(18:10):
just then the
yearning the craving for prosperity for generational wealth for creation for
overabundance while you have all those thoughts make sure you do something with
them don't just leave the thoughts in your brain put them on paper and bring
them to life now i want to say today,
(18:32):
I want to recommend, this is not a sponsor.
I need to try to remember to say that I'm not sponsoring any of these.
I'm just recommending them because I like them.
The recommendation for this week is a book called An Authentic Human Guide to
Finding Meaningful Work by Deborah Morey.
I'm going to repeat the name of the book. You can find it in Amazon.
(18:52):
That's where I got it. I'm pretty sure you can get it everywhere else.
The name of the book is An Authentic Human Human Guide to Finding Meaningful Work by Deborah Mori.
If you used to watch Jenna Marbles in YouTube, the author of this book,
Deborah Mori, is Jenna Marbles' mom. Oh, how I loved Jenna.
(19:13):
I miss her so much. I hope she's doing well.
Thank you so much to everyone who is listening.
I did my best to communicate how I feel today, what I wanted to talk about.
If how vulnerable I have been today with you has helped in any way,
please download the episode and follow me.
I release new episodes every Wednesday and Fridays.
(19:36):
My podcast is now available on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio,
Player FM, Listen Notes, Samsung Podcasts, Podchaser, Boomplay,
Deezer, and Podcast Addict.
Find me wherever you get your podcasts. I am growing through every experience. I hope that you are too.
(19:57):
See how serious that outro was? Jesus. Get it together, intro.
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