April 1, 2024 • 41 mins
In this riveting episode of Embracing Vulnerability, we unpack the host's recent insights into dealing with legal nuances related to trademarks and LLCs and how it might impact the podcast's name. We shine a spotlight on their learning journey, as they weigh the pros and cons of hiring a lawyer versus personally handling these challenges.
The episode shifts seamlessly from exploring legal complexities to sharing intimate personal experiences. Discussing the potential for bilingual episodes inspired by a close friend's language barriers, the host emphasizes the importance of a sound support network.
Addressing personal growth and financial responsibility, our host provides a reality check through their personal experiences. They candidly discuss family misconceptions about their financial status and underscore the need for discretion in sharing personal financial details.
The host passionately talks about setting personal boundaries, recognizing self-growth, and the importance of having a supportive tribe during tough times. They share anecdotes from their early career struggles, emphasizing the value of seeking better opportunities, maintaining a healthy perspective on one's journey, and never comparing oneself with others.
This episode also sheds light on mental health, with the host sharing a personal narrative about her sister's struggles. It emphasizes the importance of patience, understanding, and a strong support system.
The episode, filled with inspiring anecdotes and valuable lessons, wraps up with our host promising to prioritize her wellness. It highlights her journey towards a healthier lifestyle through dietary changes, ample rest, and positive lifestyle alterations. She encourages listeners to break free from procrastination and commit to necessary changes.
From tackling trademark issues to navigating personal relationships, achieving a healthier lifestyle, and championing mental health, this inspiring episode is packed with a wealth of insights. Tune in now and join this journey of transformation, resilience, and personal growth.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:26):
Today's episode is titled In Us. Welcome to Embracing Vulnerability.
I am learning to, how do I say, I'm trying to learn about the trademarks and the LLC.
And I've learned that it's a possibility that I might
have to change the name of this podcast because
I have to check in the trademark and
(00:49):
LLC website if someone
else didn't already trademark this
name or something like that we'll see we'll
see i don't know yet i haven't and the process
takes a year for you to be approved to
the trademark and loc i'm not sure if copyright is different but i'm looking
(01:15):
into it i'm looking into it i've looked at the fees as well that i need to get
a lawyer to do this for me A lot of people are saying I can do it myself.
But some people are saying that they did it by themselves and it got denied
because they weren't answering the question in the manner that they were asked or something.
(01:36):
So trial and error, I guess I have to see how we do this.
But for now, it's still embracing vulnerability.
I'm not making any profit off of it, so I'm not stressing out about it.
I've learned along the way that,
for example, if I was making some type of profit, if I am going to report this
(02:01):
to taxes, if someone else has this name, I can't, I can't do it.
And so I'm hoping, you know, that I don't have to change the name of the podcast.
And also I'm dabbling into the idea of making one episode in Spanish and one
in English because one of my closest friends, one of my childhood friends,
(02:24):
she wants to listen to my podcast and she doesn't speak English.
So I'm going to try to accommodate her into these things that I'm talking about.
And I'll see
how I go about that but for sure I want to
make something for her because she's a
child friend of mine and she lives
(02:46):
in DR and she found my page and she was like oh my god that sounds like her
but she's never told me that she's doing this and she told me she was glad that
I was doing it because a lot of a lot of us on a day-to-day basis we're just
always talking nonsense Why not just put it on a platform and make something of it?
So I'm really thankful for her for giving me those encouraging words.
(03:09):
I really love my unit, my support system, my village. I really love them.
Now, today's title is enough.
Pastor Michael Todd from Transformation Church said, this is the year of the
fruit. I believe I have been working on my mental health, physical health,
(03:31):
and relationship with God.
When you get fresh fruit, you will be tested.
Okay, so sidebar. Okay,
so my AC unit that came to this apartment, when I first moved in here,
the something in the back, like a back screen on the outside facing the street fell out.
(03:56):
And I believe one of the tenants, one of the neighbors, they gave it to us,
and they're like, oh, we think this is from your AC, and we looked outside,
and it, in fact, is from our AC. It just fell out.
I don't know why it fell out or how it fell out, but the point is that it fell
out, and now that it's springtime, there's birds trying to make a nest in the AC.
(04:17):
I don't really know if if they will mess with anything in the AC.
I don't know. So I haven't really complained to anyone.
When I really complained, I haven't reported it to the building management line
and know, hey, this fell out and now there's birds in the AC.
Because I feel like at the end of the day, if the AC messes up,
(04:38):
They have to replace it. So I don't, it's not my AC. I think that's why I don't care.
And also the birds are not bothering us. It's just sometimes,
like just now, I was in a train of thought.
And because I heard something, I was thinking a critter was in the apartment.
And then I remember, okay, let me activate my listening ears.
(05:01):
It sounds like chirping.
And I just remembered the other day, my daughter told me the same thing.
She's like, oh, mom, there's like ruffling noise.
There's something coming by the heater.
And then when I look by the window, because there's a heater by the window where
my daughter was close to, there was a bird that flew into the AC. And I was like, oh.
(05:23):
When I banged on the AC, a couple of birds flew out.
I don't know what type of birds they are. I don't really know nature that much.
I just know i hear them now every day tweeting and ruffling in the ac anyways let me continue.
Okay so it says when you get fresh fruit
you will be tested read up on james chapter one verse two have you found your
(05:49):
tribe yet this is important right because when you have a support system usually
any goal that you may have they will be there to tell you the pros and cons if they care about you.
For example, it could be about your job. If you want to quit your job,
if you have someone that you rely on heavily that you can text or call and say,
(06:11):
hey, I'm having a really rough time and I want you to help me decipher this.
If that person knows that it's not good for you to to put your job.
Because you don't want to they know deep down inside your soul
you don't want to be financially unstable and you don't have
a backup income they're gonna tell
you hey you know let's breathe in let's breathe out let's go
for a walk let's go on a girlfriend date
(06:34):
or whatever they will tell you you know let's gather
our thoughts tell me you know trauma dump basically
and i know my therapist best one told me to
be careful when i use the word trauma dump because it's
not mine but if you are a person that doesn't
like being trauma dumped on thank
(06:54):
you for your patience so it's important
to have a tribe it's important to have a valley because they will be there.
For you when you're having a mental breakdown when
you're having a difficult time when you're
feeling like you're you're drowning in sorrows if
you reach out to them they can pour into you and shine
the light at the bigger picture and they
(07:17):
will help you stay focused shout out to my
tribe shout out to my valley right now
i consider my valley to be my mother my
grandmother my grandmother just turned 72 in
march shout out to my grandma i love her
so much my sister my husband my
(07:38):
best friend so i'm just gonna go ahead and name them because i'm gonna have
to name some friends so my sister clara my mom miguelina my grandmother osefina.
My best friend sorry my friend micah my brother-in-law Alex,
who else my cousin O'Neal and his wife Awilda I'm trying to make sure I don't leave anybody out.
(08:06):
I got to think because I don't have just, I don't count my tribe with just one hand.
It's, it's, it's multiple people. And I know that a lot of people don't have
this and I'm truly blessed to have, how do you say this?
A hardy, I'm going to say hardy, like oatmeal.
(08:26):
Like the great Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, may he rest in peace.
I know that's not his real name, but his name on the show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine was Holt.
Like the great Captain Holt said, my support system is like oatmeal. It sustains me.
So, do you have trusted friends? That's the next question.
(08:47):
Have you found your tribe? Do you have trusted friends?
The thing about friends is you may have 50 friends, but out of those 50 friends, who do you trust?
Come on, let's be vulnerable here. Out of those 50 friends, who do you trust?
You cannot sit here and tell me that you trust every single person that is in
(09:08):
your friends group because I know you lying.
Out of those 50 people, how do you divide your attention equally?
How do you update all 50 of your friends at the same time in one day?
I want someone to explain to me.
Right. OK, then. So I believe that people use the words friends too loosely.
(09:30):
Lastly, there's some people that are your acquaintances.
I can tell you that I have acquaintances, I have friends, and I have close friends.
There are three different things.
You know that there are things that you don't tell your friends.
You know that there are friends that you can't talk to them about certain things.
There's friends that you, and I wouldn't say use, but I'm going to say,
(09:54):
okay, there are friends that you share.
I'm going to use the word share. You share certain moments with,
for example, you have your friends that you club with, you have your friends
that you go shopping with, you have friends that you go to school with,
you have friends that you work with.
So it's all different genres, right?
(10:16):
You're not telling me that the friends that you club with, you tell them the
same information that you tell your work friends.
Because some work friends are just work friends. You don't talk to them outside
of work, and that's okay.
I'm not saying you need to make your work friends, your everything friends. That's what I'm saying.
For a fact, you know there's those coworkers that you should call them coworkers
(10:39):
because they're snitches. They're just there in the job to kiss the booty of the upper management.
I'm not friends with people like that. That's why in my job,
I can tell you that I have one friend because she left the company.
The reason why I consider her my friend is because she left the company.
Probably a year ago, and she has still sustained conversation with me,
(11:02):
personal conversation.
I'm not talking about she shares all memes and reels and that's it.
She shares personal stuff with me as well. And that's what makes her my friend
because I can share reels and memes with anybody all day.
Now, am I a trusted friend? I know that I'm a trusted friend if you share things with me.
(11:23):
For example, if you tell me, hey, I just bought my first car and the down payment
was this this much, and this, that, and the third.
Or, hey, I just started high yield savings account, and it's this much,
and I put this much monthly.
Or, hey, you know, that stuff is not stuff that you should be telling everyone.
(11:43):
I think some people blab too much, where they might tell anyone who asked them
how much is their income,
how much is their saving, how much is their credit line some
people blab too much you shouldn't be blabbing your money
situation with everyone you should be blabbing your money
situation with your close friends trusted friends your tribe okay mind you i
(12:07):
trust my grandma she's part of my tribe but i've shared in past episodes that
i had to stop sharing my income with my grandmother because my grandmother was
divulging my income information to some family members and some of my family members members,
they don't, they're not exactly, I want to, I want to choose my words correctly here.
(12:27):
They're not exactly financially intelligent or financially savvy,
whichever word you want to use.
And I knew some family members in that group chat, because it was in WhatsApp,
were going to start reaching out to me and saying, oh, can I have $10? Can I have $30?
Can I have $50? And it's not Not borrowed is they want it for them, right?
(12:49):
And I knew that they would tell me, oh, but you make this much and your man
makes this much, this and that and the third.
I don't need to be giving you money just because I have money.
Just because you're a loved one, I don't have to give you money because you're a loved one.
Just because you're my loved one, you're not entitled to my time or my resources.
If you are my loved one, you know that I am a naturally given person.
(13:12):
So if I'm giving you things, if I'm buying you gifts,
you know that already I know you're the type of person that's not going to sit
there and just ask for my money to ask for it because I'm earning my money the
same way you're earning your money, right?
We all have struggles, right? I'm not saying if you're struggling financially
(13:34):
not to reach out to me, but I'm saying the people,
some people in my family struggle financially because they want to.
You cannot tell me otherwise.
It's because they want to. They're not making smarter decisions.
I was not making smart decisions when I was 21, but I'm able to say that because
I've grown from that person. I'm no longer the person I was in 2013.
(13:56):
Thank God I grew in many areas of my life, but I chose to do that. My mom encouraged me.
My husband encouraged me to go to college, get an associate degree in medical
assistant, and then the pandemic hit.
Thankfully, I was done with my associate degree as soon as the pandemic entered.
During the pandemic, I didn't want to go work at a hospital and expose my newborn
(14:19):
baby. I just had given birth when the pandemic happened.
I was not going to expose my family. Shout out to all the health care workers
who did it. I'm glad that you did it.
Unfortunately, the health care system in the United States, because I can't
speak outside of the United States, a lot of those people were fired.
They were not compensated well.
(14:40):
They were at risk day in and day out.
That's not the way that I wanted to start my career.
Then one lovely lady called Lisa Rainey in Mildorelli.
Yes I'm gonna name drop people in my
podcast what are the chances that they're gonna
find out that they said something that I said something about them shout
(15:03):
outs to Lisa Rainey from Mildred at least she hooked me up
with a job and I've been in that job for four years now no my job is not perfect
there's a lot of toxicity and there's a lot of cheapness going on because this
company doesn't pay well but it's still a job a win is a win right a win is
a win and I when I first got at this job. I had many dreams and aspirations.
(15:25):
And then I started seeing that they don't really like to compensate or give you raises.
What they like to do is give you bonuses. I'm thankful that every year that
bonuses come, I'm always eligible.
But a bonus is a bonus and a raise is a raise. Those are two different things.
They're not the same thing.
So all of my friends that I'm close to,
(15:46):
they have elevated financially in so much shape or
form because they work in companies that are
giving right and yes my
friends are not all where they want to be i guarantee you that they're not but
their company have given them more than this company has given me right so i
(16:07):
am thankful for the job but i'm working towards something better right i've
discussed this already before,
And this is all a long sidebar to say my close friends to me, they know.
We make jokes about it because, you know, trauma bonding or whatever.
We make jokes about it that I won't get a 17% raise.
(16:27):
Working in a company that gives you a 17% raise is not cute.
And it's not funny in 2024.
I was going to say 2014. Jesus. It's not cute. you.
And I'm thankful that I have the strong mindset to not compare myself to my
friends and feel bad because my friends are at a certain level.
I know I have the skill sets and I know that I will learn what I need to learn
(16:51):
to get to where I need to go.
I'm not putting myself the pressure of saying, oh, this friend of mine is making
this money, this other friend of mine is making this money, that other friend.
Mind you, I know what a lot of my friends are making.
Making i know what a lot of my friends are making but my
mindset is if they can do it i can do it too
as cardi b once said the rapper
(17:14):
she once said don't be a why them
and not me type of person be a if they
can do it i can do it too type of person that's the mentality that's
the mindset said i have so moving
on pastor michael todd from
transformations church also said
a brother is burned is burned
(17:36):
english is my second language please bear
with me thank you he said a brother is
born out of adversity what a beautiful beautiful
statement if how do i
even begin to break that down my sister goes through
a lot of things and i also go through a lot of things right so there's
a lot of times that my sister apologized to me and tells me that she's sorry
(17:57):
about her mental health and this and that in the third and I would like to say
80% of the time I'm understanding I'm not gonna say 90 95 or 100 because I'd
be lying sometimes I do get frustrated at her sometimes I do get mad at her
for making the same mistakes over and over but I do recall.
Being in that state of mindset that she had I recall going through that in the
(18:20):
ages of 15 to 23 23, everyone goes through different things at different stages in life, right?
So what my sister's going through now, I went through that already.
The heartache that she's going through, I went through that from the ages of 15 to 23.
That's what she's living right now. I already lived it. Except I would say that
(18:43):
hers is a little more intense.
It's a little more intense because a lot more variables are included than what I went through.
But yeah, I still try to be understanding. And when I get out of line,
I tell her, listen, I'm about to get nasty.
And instead of calling you dumb and all these things, I'm going to just step
back and pause and give us some space.
(19:04):
I'm already getting mad that you You keep going through this.
So we take space between each other because of that.
So a brother is born from adversary. It's true because a lot of the time when
you're going through great things and beautiful things,
some people don't have people, loved ones around them to say,
(19:28):
oh, hey, remember that time that you went through this and that? Wow, you've come so far.
Look at you now. a lot of the times people when they're in a great spot in their
life they don't have a cheerleading team they don't have a support system and
that sucks that sucks real bad.
And I'm saying it sucks because I've never been in that space so I cannot even
(19:50):
imagine what it feels like it must be terrible I'm glad for my loved ones and
I will never get tired of saying I'm happy to have a support system because
it is imperative to me to get to where I'm going And because the way my mindset
work is, where I'm going,
I want to take my whole support system with me.
I don't want to have to hire outsiders.
(20:10):
If I have to hire outsiders, of course I will do so, but I would like my whole
support team to follow me in my journey and be there in my growth.
Because they will be there when it's time to collect fruits.
When it's time to collect the fruits, my support ones will be there.
My support ones will be there. My support system, my loved ones, they will be there.
(20:34):
Again, English is my second language,
so if some stuff don't make sense to you, read between the lines.
My support ones, my support system, tomato, tomato.
Everyone is waiting for a class on how to patent their goals. Thank you.
Unfortunately, as much as we have resources online, if you have an idea that
you've never heard of, chances are there is no classes to teach you how to start that business.
(21:01):
Chances are there is no resources out there to support what it is that you're trying to bring to life.
So you have to try to be creative. Creative, I wish for abundance of creativity
for everyone who's watching this, overabundance of love, overabundance of joy,
overabundance of generational wealth.
(21:22):
And that's what I wish for, for everyone who's listening to this.
Any idea that you have, please go for it. Go for it.
Go for it. You don't have anyone on your corner, message me.
I will be your cheerleader.
I'm down for being a cheerleader. I'm really good at cheering people up.
Up I'm really good at rooting for people words
of affirmation are my thing I will
(21:44):
cheer you up go ahead and message me and tell me you don't have to
tell me the details go ahead and message me and say hey I have I have
an idea and this and that just tell me the basics that you're able to say online
and I will cheer for you I will gladly cheer for you because I know that if
you plan it out if you write down your steps and you achieve your goals one
(22:05):
by one giving your one percent every day, I know that you can achieve it.
You versus you. You are your biggest competitor.
Always, always, always compare yourself to yourself. Never compare your life to others.
Faith plus friend plus spiritual formation equals fruit.
So I'm working right now on my spiritual formation, meaning I'm trying to get closer to God.
(22:31):
I haven't found a church yet, but I would like to find a church that has people
around my age and not just... The thing is that everywhere I live at,
I see mostly the older generation in the church.
And what happens with that is I've already attended churches that were like
that. and those churches are very, they think a certain way, right?
(22:52):
They think their relationship with God needs to look a certain way.
And I don't believe that.
The way I see my relationship with God now is not the same way I saw my relationship
with God when I was 17 years old.
It's not. There's a lot of things that have shifted in my brain and in my mindset
that I need God to show me clarity on.
(23:12):
Whatever God wants to take from me, he can take it from me. I'm just not letting a man in a church.
Tell me what I need to remove out of my life.
God has to be the one to show me what it is that he wanted to remove from my
life and how to remove it.
Because sometimes you might tell someone to do something, but unless you show
them how to do it, they might not understand the instructions.
People are visual learners, right? So I'm working on my physical health,
(23:37):
my mental health, and my spiritual formation, right?
So I do believe that I'm in my season of growth, my season season of reaping what I've sowed.
So I've been sowing a lot of blessings, a lot of fruits for a while now. I've been sowing seeds.
You don't say sow fruits.
I've been sowing a lot of seeds here and there.
(23:59):
And I believe this is my season for growth and reaping what I sow, right?
So believe in that, I'm going to continue to work on my mental,
physical, and spiritual life.
I'm I'm just giving you an update on my life. Let me see what else.
Also, making a fresh commitment to myself. So make a fresh commitment to yourself
that you will improve that area of your life that's like in discipline,
(24:22):
faith, strength, education, endurance, stamina, value, etc.
Right? So I made a commitment to myself that I was going to improve my mental
health, my physical health, and my spiritual health.
So I've made the proper steps in every area and they've become a routine, right?
Right i lost four pounds this month
during the 16-8 fast technique it
(24:42):
wasn't my original purpose to lose weight on this fast it was to try to regulate
my menstruation thankfully i haven't been in pain on my period i would say 30
days 30 days labor pain free i had my period on.
March 15th. March 15th was my last period and last of five days. That's my normal cycle.
(25:07):
I'm in my normal cycle already. I'm no longer bleeding outside of my period. My body feels great.
I have more energy. I'm sleeping more. So I'm fixing a lot of areas in my life,
right? So because I started the 16-8 fast, I discovered the last time that I
did it, a few months ago, it didn't work out because I was getting a lot of headaches.
(25:27):
And then I decided to organize myself and say, okay, I'm going to do 21 days.
I started with 21 days and I said, if in 21 days I don't get a headache,
I will continue with the days.
Then 30 days went on and I said, okay. Okay, I turned on the monitoring,
how much I sleep, reading on my phone, on my iPhone.
(25:50):
So my iPhone is set to, for me to sleep between 10.30 p.m. New York time.
Don't ask me which, don't ask me the logistics of that, whatever.
So I'm supposed to be sleeping from 10.30 p.m. until 6.20 a.m.
Every single night, that's what I'm supposed to be doing. Now,
(26:11):
do I complete this every day? No, I do not.
There's some days, depending on what's going on, that I might go to sleep at
1230 or three in the morning.
Some days, not every day, not every day.
Usually if I am doing something between 1230 and three in the morning,
it's probably spiritually praying and things like that. If I do that,
(26:34):
that's what's happening.
Instead of me, I've reduced a lot of death scrolling, doom scrolling.
I think it's doom scrolling. I said death scrolling. I reduced a lot of the
doom scrolling that night and used it for prayer and sleep now.
So once I added that, I'm getting six hours or more of sleep.
(26:54):
I'm doing the fast and I'm no longer getting the headaches.
So now I'm on day 64 sorry
I'm on day 64 of my 16A fast if
I had a soundboard right now and I knew how to work a soundboard I would enter
a plus right here I'm doing a great job I'm doing a good job I'm putting in
(27:15):
my one percent daily to improve myself I'm proud of myself I'm going going to
continue doing the work that I need to do to reach where I want to be at.
Okay. So let's see, let's see, let's see. So please, you know,
make a fresh commitment today.
It's the first of the month, April 1st, 2024. Make a first commitment to yourself
that you're going to do something about your life.
(27:37):
Whatever area do you've been procrastinating for years and years and years,
or whatever time it's cost you.
If you've been procrastinating, make a fresh commitment right Right now that
you're going to do that thing that you've been saying you're going to do and you haven't done it.
We all know what's good for us. It's just we don't do it. And I'm not going
to say it now because I've been mistreating myself for too long.
(28:01):
I've been disrespecting myself for too long.
And because I started working on my mental health a year ago,
I'm realizing that my life is better than it has ever been because I made a
commitment to myself that I was going to be a better person for me and my children.
Do I get angry every day? Yes. Do I get upset every day? Yes,
(28:21):
I do. I have normal human being emotions. I'm not saying that I don't get angry.
I know that I'm managing my anger because I come from a family that has a lot of anger issues.
I know my inner child and my teen self and my current self want different things.
I know that they do. So I'm trying to align my life so that we're all on the
(28:42):
same page. That's what I'm doing here.
So I'm going to say that again. Make a first commitment to yourself that you
will improve that area of your life.
That's like indiscipline faith strength education endurance stamina
and value etc etc means that
whatever area in your life that you're lacking that you're trying to improve that's
the area that you should be improving look at you responding differently in
(29:04):
these difficult times that's another thing you're doing a good job if you're
responding if you're responding differently to things that are happening to
you that when they used to happen to you before you used to explode Dota, good for you.
I know the littlest things used to get me angry before don't get me angry anymore.
For example, I'm just giving an example.
(29:25):
If I step on some toys, like that will get me heated.
Or if I am fixing the light from the curtain and the curtain pole falls on my head, I'm heated.
You know, I worked through all of that. I worked through all of that.
And I had to look at my life and say, why are these tiny little things upsetting me so much?
(29:48):
Why am I letting one tiny little thing dictate the whole rest of my day?
It shouldn't be like that.
It shouldn't be like that. It's just causing strain on my heart for no reason.
I was a very, very, very spicy, angry teenager.
I'm no longer that teenager. I'm an adult now, right?
I'm in my 30s now, right? So let's get it together. Let's get it together.
(30:10):
You're in the space that you want to be in, right?
I start immediately tracking my life and saying, you have this,
you have this, you have this, you have this, you have this, you've done this, you're doing a good job.
I'm listening to your anger. I'm holding you in the space that you want to be
held in, but I just want to let you know that you're just passing by. You got to move it along.
(30:31):
I feel my feelings and then I work through them. I don't bottle them.
I don't shoo them away. I don't close them away. I work through my emotions.
I apologize to my children when I'm wrong. That's another thing, too.
Immediately. I don't wait until the next day. It doesn't take me 24 hours anymore
to apologize. I apologize the same day. I work through my emotion.
(30:52):
If it takes me 30 minutes, 2 hours, 3 hours, it'll take me as long as it takes me within a day.
I make sure that I don't go to bed angry with my husband or my kids.
I make sure I don't go to bed angry with anyone in general. know if
I give myself space with my sister I let her know hey I
don't agree with how things went down
between us I need more time yes it might
(31:15):
take me a month or two with my sister but I'm
not going to bed angry at her I said my
piece to her I said what I needed to say and I don't think about that when I
go to sleep because I've already told her I need some time to accept your apology
because I I just don't want us to fall back into the same pattern of we do stuff
and then we apologize and then we go back to doing the same stuff. I don't want to do that.
(31:42):
Now, again, look at you responding differently in these difficult times. This is a rough one.
The trending topic that I was seeing that my sister brought up to me,
this was my sister's idea.
She doesn't know that I'm doing this, but she gave me this idea.
There's a trending topic online about things my exes did but i still stayed
(32:03):
please everyone listening,
hope you get a laugh out of this. I hope you get a laugh out of this and I'm
gonna try to say this however I can possibly say this.
Now this is a story all about how I used to be a pygmycia.
If you don't know what a pygmycia is don't worry about it. I
used to wait by the house phone when an ex used
(32:24):
to tell me yes we will hang out and I
would wait all day long by the phone and he
would never call me the phone would never ring and i'd go cry myself
to sleep story number one story number
two one time i got a fake number online
pretended to be his ex to catch him flirting with
her he fell for it when i confronted him he cried and begged me to stay i caught
(32:49):
that some guy what hold on hold on hold on let me see okay oh yeah yeah that's
what i meant to say that's the second Second story.
I caught that same guy another time flirting on social media.
He said that flirting ain't cheating. To me, it is. So I went out and I cheated as well.
(33:12):
That's story number two. Story number three.
One time we slept on the same bed. Check out how protecting God is with me.
The bed had bed bugs and they only used to bite him, not me.
I asked a friend. This is another story. this
is a fourth fifth story fifth story i asked
a friend to lend me seven hundred dollars for a deposit to move
(33:33):
into a room this boy never helped
me pay her back i eventually paid her back i was very blessed to have a friend
like that at the time then this same guy got kicked out of the room for failure
to pay rent making my friend look bad because she was our reference to get that
(33:54):
room. I am so sorry to that girl.
I was so embarrassed when this happened. I couldn't believe that boy was not paying rent.
So he got kicked out and she looked bad. And mind you, we lived in the same house.
She lived in the basement of the house and we lived in the same floor.
(34:15):
I'm not the same floor, sorry. She lived in the basement and we lived in the
first floor. The first floor had, I believe, two rooms, if I'm not mistaken.
And we lived in one of the rooms and the other rooms was other people that lived there.
That guy and I, we broke up and we went our separate ways. But he stayed in
that room. He stayed in that room.
(34:35):
I found out that what he did.
And again, I'm very thankful. I'm very thankful for my friend that she continued
being my friend after that. because I would have not been mad at her if she
would have stopped being friends with me there and then.
That's grounds for not being friends with someone right there.
(34:56):
You do not burn bridges with references.
You don't do that. As a grown adult, you shouldn't do that.
I have never done that to a friend where I have burned the bridge with a reference.
I've never done that. So when people do that, that baffles me.
And it's crazy to me why you would do that anyway.
And then people wonder why their life is going the way they're going because
(35:16):
they're doing things like this.
You're not thinking about the person who hooked you up with that job.
Don't make them look bad.
That is so stupid. Don't make them look bad.
They hooked you up with a job. The decent thing to do is for you to give a two
weeks notice and say, you no longer want to be there.
Don't just quit and never show up. That makes the person who hooked you up with that job look bad.
(35:38):
And this is why a lot of people, it's not that they don't want to hook you up with stuff.
It's that they already experienced someone who they gave the benefit of the
doubt to, who they thought was solid, who they thought was responsible,
who looked good on paper.
And then when push came to shove, those people made you look bad.
It's not cute. cute 2024 stop making
(35:59):
your friends or your references or whoever hooked you up with something stop
making them look bad it's not cute that's why your life is going miserable in
the way that it's going because you are out there burning bridges okay thankfully
i didn't live with him when he got kicked out of that room again that friend
of mine was there for me at my lowest,
(36:19):
she a real one she know who she is she listens to
the podcast i was such a pig misha i used
to leave hickeys on a guys on guys necks
so they would get in trouble with their girlfriends i used
to leave underwear in their book bags so they would
get in trouble that way also please notice
i did all these things because i was a player who
(36:41):
was not working on healing did not think what i
was doing was wrong could not accept i had
daddy issues so on and so forth if
this is you just know no man will ever complete you
okay so hopefully by what i've shared you understand what a pygmy is i'm going
to try to explain it to the best of my ability a pygmy is a girl that is a pygmy
(37:04):
girl it's a girl that will not respect herself will lower her values just to be chosen by by a man.
It's a person who caters to others, even if it's detrimental to them.
I think that's the best way that I can describe what a pygmy shah is.
(37:25):
And again, I would like to.
A disclaimer i did this in my teens i'm
no longer that person if you want to judge
me by my past go judge me by my past i don't care recommendation
for this week is supermarket simulator on
steam if you are a pc gamer not a sponsor i need to start saying not a sponsor
(37:47):
because i'm over here recommending my stuff i'm not you might think i'm being
sponsored i'm not sponsored i just just think the stuff that I recommend is
really good and has helped me and things that I enjoy doing.
If you're a PC gamer and you like chill vibe games, like I do,
I like chill vibes games. I like Animal Crossing.
Shout outs to Walter. My friend Walter was the one that put me on to Animal
(38:11):
Crossing and it has been an obsession of a game for me.
I put it down, I pick it back up, i put it down i pick it back
up when i get bored i put it down and when
i get into my i don't know how to describe
it but that's the game i've been able to pause and pick
back up and i haven't been able to do that with other
(38:32):
games in a long time and very very
long time i'm thinking about picking back up horizon zero dawn
for the playstation 5 i'm not
sure yet i i'm thinking about it i'm debating it but
for now go ahead and see if
you like supermarket simulator on steam if
(38:52):
how vulnerable i have been today with you has helped
in any way please download the episodes and follow me i release new episodes
every wednesday and friday i got my podcast now i'm butchering the ending but
what has motivated me to doing more episodes is number one i got an email from
podbean Shout out to Podbean.
(39:14):
This podcast, this website is really easy for me to maneuver.
I'm not really deep into the text of anything, but little by little,
I'm learning things, right?
Learning the tools of this Podbean platform.
I got an email from Podbean letting me know that Friday is a popular day that
people listen to my podcast.
(39:35):
Now, this might be because of my best friend, Sori. She listens to my podcast
when she's doing her skincare routine.
I can't really say why Friday is a popular day.
I haven't really looked at the statistics to know how many people are listening
and downloading on Friday. But I know Sori, my best friend, is one of them.
So that encouraged me, number one, that email from Podbean. Shout out to Podbean
(39:58):
and Sori. And number two, my stepfather.
I love that man to death. like that man
is so supporting so supporting so smart
so wise my mom told him that i was doing a podcast and she told him every wednesday
and he answered her and he said only one day why so little so shout out to my
(40:20):
stepfather chacho shout out to chacho thank you so much for being so supportive
even though he doesn't know English,
he likes the idea of me doing this.
So my stepfather, Podbean, and Sori have encouraged me to do more episodes.
Now, let me try doing the outro again. If Abonagua has been today with you,
(40:43):
has helped in any way, please download the episodes and follow me.
I release new episodes every Wednesday and Friday.
My podcast is available now on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio,
Player FM, Listen Note, Samsung Podcast, Podchaser, Boonplay,
Deezer, and Podcast Addict.
Find me wherever you get your podcasts.
(41:05):
I am growing through every experience. I hope that you are too.
Today's episode is titled In Us. Welcome to Embracing Vulnerability.
I am learning to, how do I say, I'm trying to learn about the trademarks and the LLC.
And I've learned that it's a possibility that I might
have to change the name of this podcast because
I have to check in the trademark and
(00:49):
LLC website if someone
else didn't already trademark this
name or something like that we'll see we'll
see i don't know yet i haven't and the process
takes a year for you to be approved to
the trademark and loc i'm not sure if copyright is different but i'm looking
(01:15):
into it i'm looking into it i've looked at the fees as well that i need to get
a lawyer to do this for me A lot of people are saying I can do it myself.
But some people are saying that they did it by themselves and it got denied
because they weren't answering the question in the manner that they were asked or something.
(01:36):
So trial and error, I guess I have to see how we do this.
But for now, it's still embracing vulnerability.
I'm not making any profit off of it, so I'm not stressing out about it.
I've learned along the way that,
for example, if I was making some type of profit, if I am going to report this
(02:01):
to taxes, if someone else has this name, I can't, I can't do it.
And so I'm hoping, you know, that I don't have to change the name of the podcast.
And also I'm dabbling into the idea of making one episode in Spanish and one
in English because one of my closest friends, one of my childhood friends,
(02:24):
she wants to listen to my podcast and she doesn't speak English.
So I'm going to try to accommodate her into these things that I'm talking about.
And I'll see
how I go about that but for sure I want to
make something for her because she's a
child friend of mine and she lives
(02:46):
in DR and she found my page and she was like oh my god that sounds like her
but she's never told me that she's doing this and she told me she was glad that
I was doing it because a lot of a lot of us on a day-to-day basis we're just
always talking nonsense Why not just put it on a platform and make something of it?
So I'm really thankful for her for giving me those encouraging words.
(03:09):
I really love my unit, my support system, my village. I really love them.
Now, today's title is enough.
Pastor Michael Todd from Transformation Church said, this is the year of the
fruit. I believe I have been working on my mental health, physical health,
(03:31):
and relationship with God.
When you get fresh fruit, you will be tested.
Okay, so sidebar. Okay,
so my AC unit that came to this apartment, when I first moved in here,
the something in the back, like a back screen on the outside facing the street fell out.
(03:56):
And I believe one of the tenants, one of the neighbors, they gave it to us,
and they're like, oh, we think this is from your AC, and we looked outside,
and it, in fact, is from our AC. It just fell out.
I don't know why it fell out or how it fell out, but the point is that it fell
out, and now that it's springtime, there's birds trying to make a nest in the AC.
(04:17):
I don't really know if if they will mess with anything in the AC.
I don't know. So I haven't really complained to anyone.
When I really complained, I haven't reported it to the building management line
and know, hey, this fell out and now there's birds in the AC.
Because I feel like at the end of the day, if the AC messes up,
(04:38):
They have to replace it. So I don't, it's not my AC. I think that's why I don't care.
And also the birds are not bothering us. It's just sometimes,
like just now, I was in a train of thought.
And because I heard something, I was thinking a critter was in the apartment.
And then I remember, okay, let me activate my listening ears.
(05:01):
It sounds like chirping.
And I just remembered the other day, my daughter told me the same thing.
She's like, oh, mom, there's like ruffling noise.
There's something coming by the heater.
And then when I look by the window, because there's a heater by the window where
my daughter was close to, there was a bird that flew into the AC. And I was like, oh.
(05:23):
When I banged on the AC, a couple of birds flew out.
I don't know what type of birds they are. I don't really know nature that much.
I just know i hear them now every day tweeting and ruffling in the ac anyways let me continue.
Okay so it says when you get fresh fruit
you will be tested read up on james chapter one verse two have you found your
(05:49):
tribe yet this is important right because when you have a support system usually
any goal that you may have they will be there to tell you the pros and cons if they care about you.
For example, it could be about your job. If you want to quit your job,
if you have someone that you rely on heavily that you can text or call and say,
(06:11):
hey, I'm having a really rough time and I want you to help me decipher this.
If that person knows that it's not good for you to to put your job.
Because you don't want to they know deep down inside your soul
you don't want to be financially unstable and you don't have
a backup income they're gonna tell
you hey you know let's breathe in let's breathe out let's go
for a walk let's go on a girlfriend date
(06:34):
or whatever they will tell you you know let's gather
our thoughts tell me you know trauma dump basically
and i know my therapist best one told me to
be careful when i use the word trauma dump because it's
not mine but if you are a person that doesn't
like being trauma dumped on thank
(06:54):
you for your patience so it's important
to have a tribe it's important to have a valley because they will be there.
For you when you're having a mental breakdown when
you're having a difficult time when you're
feeling like you're you're drowning in sorrows if
you reach out to them they can pour into you and shine
the light at the bigger picture and they
(07:17):
will help you stay focused shout out to my
tribe shout out to my valley right now
i consider my valley to be my mother my
grandmother my grandmother just turned 72 in
march shout out to my grandma i love her
so much my sister my husband my
(07:38):
best friend so i'm just gonna go ahead and name them because i'm gonna have
to name some friends so my sister clara my mom miguelina my grandmother osefina.
My best friend sorry my friend micah my brother-in-law Alex,
who else my cousin O'Neal and his wife Awilda I'm trying to make sure I don't leave anybody out.
(08:06):
I got to think because I don't have just, I don't count my tribe with just one hand.
It's, it's, it's multiple people. And I know that a lot of people don't have
this and I'm truly blessed to have, how do you say this?
A hardy, I'm going to say hardy, like oatmeal.
(08:26):
Like the great Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, may he rest in peace.
I know that's not his real name, but his name on the show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine was Holt.
Like the great Captain Holt said, my support system is like oatmeal. It sustains me.
So, do you have trusted friends? That's the next question.
(08:47):
Have you found your tribe? Do you have trusted friends?
The thing about friends is you may have 50 friends, but out of those 50 friends, who do you trust?
Come on, let's be vulnerable here. Out of those 50 friends, who do you trust?
You cannot sit here and tell me that you trust every single person that is in
(09:08):
your friends group because I know you lying.
Out of those 50 people, how do you divide your attention equally?
How do you update all 50 of your friends at the same time in one day?
I want someone to explain to me.
Right. OK, then. So I believe that people use the words friends too loosely.
(09:30):
Lastly, there's some people that are your acquaintances.
I can tell you that I have acquaintances, I have friends, and I have close friends.
There are three different things.
You know that there are things that you don't tell your friends.
You know that there are friends that you can't talk to them about certain things.
There's friends that you, and I wouldn't say use, but I'm going to say,
(09:54):
okay, there are friends that you share.
I'm going to use the word share. You share certain moments with,
for example, you have your friends that you club with, you have your friends
that you go shopping with, you have friends that you go to school with,
you have friends that you work with.
So it's all different genres, right?
(10:16):
You're not telling me that the friends that you club with, you tell them the
same information that you tell your work friends.
Because some work friends are just work friends. You don't talk to them outside
of work, and that's okay.
I'm not saying you need to make your work friends, your everything friends. That's what I'm saying.
For a fact, you know there's those coworkers that you should call them coworkers
(10:39):
because they're snitches. They're just there in the job to kiss the booty of the upper management.
I'm not friends with people like that. That's why in my job,
I can tell you that I have one friend because she left the company.
The reason why I consider her my friend is because she left the company.
Probably a year ago, and she has still sustained conversation with me,
(11:02):
personal conversation.
I'm not talking about she shares all memes and reels and that's it.
She shares personal stuff with me as well. And that's what makes her my friend
because I can share reels and memes with anybody all day.
Now, am I a trusted friend? I know that I'm a trusted friend if you share things with me.
(11:23):
For example, if you tell me, hey, I just bought my first car and the down payment
was this this much, and this, that, and the third.
Or, hey, I just started high yield savings account, and it's this much,
and I put this much monthly.
Or, hey, you know, that stuff is not stuff that you should be telling everyone.
(11:43):
I think some people blab too much, where they might tell anyone who asked them
how much is their income,
how much is their saving, how much is their credit line some
people blab too much you shouldn't be blabbing your money
situation with everyone you should be blabbing your money
situation with your close friends trusted friends your tribe okay mind you i
(12:07):
trust my grandma she's part of my tribe but i've shared in past episodes that
i had to stop sharing my income with my grandmother because my grandmother was
divulging my income information to some family members and some of my family members members,
they don't, they're not exactly, I want to, I want to choose my words correctly here.
(12:27):
They're not exactly financially intelligent or financially savvy,
whichever word you want to use.
And I knew some family members in that group chat, because it was in WhatsApp,
were going to start reaching out to me and saying, oh, can I have $10? Can I have $30?
Can I have $50? And it's not Not borrowed is they want it for them, right?
(12:49):
And I knew that they would tell me, oh, but you make this much and your man
makes this much, this and that and the third.
I don't need to be giving you money just because I have money.
Just because you're a loved one, I don't have to give you money because you're a loved one.
Just because you're my loved one, you're not entitled to my time or my resources.
If you are my loved one, you know that I am a naturally given person.
(13:12):
So if I'm giving you things, if I'm buying you gifts,
you know that already I know you're the type of person that's not going to sit
there and just ask for my money to ask for it because I'm earning my money the
same way you're earning your money, right?
We all have struggles, right? I'm not saying if you're struggling financially
(13:34):
not to reach out to me, but I'm saying the people,
some people in my family struggle financially because they want to.
You cannot tell me otherwise.
It's because they want to. They're not making smarter decisions.
I was not making smart decisions when I was 21, but I'm able to say that because
I've grown from that person. I'm no longer the person I was in 2013.
(13:56):
Thank God I grew in many areas of my life, but I chose to do that. My mom encouraged me.
My husband encouraged me to go to college, get an associate degree in medical
assistant, and then the pandemic hit.
Thankfully, I was done with my associate degree as soon as the pandemic entered.
During the pandemic, I didn't want to go work at a hospital and expose my newborn
(14:19):
baby. I just had given birth when the pandemic happened.
I was not going to expose my family. Shout out to all the health care workers
who did it. I'm glad that you did it.
Unfortunately, the health care system in the United States, because I can't
speak outside of the United States, a lot of those people were fired.
They were not compensated well.
(14:40):
They were at risk day in and day out.
That's not the way that I wanted to start my career.
Then one lovely lady called Lisa Rainey in Mildorelli.
Yes I'm gonna name drop people in my
podcast what are the chances that they're gonna
find out that they said something that I said something about them shout
(15:03):
outs to Lisa Rainey from Mildred at least she hooked me up
with a job and I've been in that job for four years now no my job is not perfect
there's a lot of toxicity and there's a lot of cheapness going on because this
company doesn't pay well but it's still a job a win is a win right a win is
a win and I when I first got at this job. I had many dreams and aspirations.
(15:25):
And then I started seeing that they don't really like to compensate or give you raises.
What they like to do is give you bonuses. I'm thankful that every year that
bonuses come, I'm always eligible.
But a bonus is a bonus and a raise is a raise. Those are two different things.
They're not the same thing.
So all of my friends that I'm close to,
(15:46):
they have elevated financially in so much shape or
form because they work in companies that are
giving right and yes my
friends are not all where they want to be i guarantee you that they're not but
their company have given them more than this company has given me right so i
(16:07):
am thankful for the job but i'm working towards something better right i've
discussed this already before,
And this is all a long sidebar to say my close friends to me, they know.
We make jokes about it because, you know, trauma bonding or whatever.
We make jokes about it that I won't get a 17% raise.
(16:27):
Working in a company that gives you a 17% raise is not cute.
And it's not funny in 2024.
I was going to say 2014. Jesus. It's not cute. you.
And I'm thankful that I have the strong mindset to not compare myself to my
friends and feel bad because my friends are at a certain level.
I know I have the skill sets and I know that I will learn what I need to learn
(16:51):
to get to where I need to go.
I'm not putting myself the pressure of saying, oh, this friend of mine is making
this money, this other friend of mine is making this money, that other friend.
Mind you, I know what a lot of my friends are making.
Making i know what a lot of my friends are making but my
mindset is if they can do it i can do it too
as cardi b once said the rapper
(17:14):
she once said don't be a why them
and not me type of person be a if they
can do it i can do it too type of person that's the mentality that's
the mindset said i have so moving
on pastor michael todd from
transformations church also said
a brother is burned is burned
(17:36):
english is my second language please bear
with me thank you he said a brother is
born out of adversity what a beautiful beautiful
statement if how do i
even begin to break that down my sister goes through
a lot of things and i also go through a lot of things right so there's
a lot of times that my sister apologized to me and tells me that she's sorry
(17:57):
about her mental health and this and that in the third and I would like to say
80% of the time I'm understanding I'm not gonna say 90 95 or 100 because I'd
be lying sometimes I do get frustrated at her sometimes I do get mad at her
for making the same mistakes over and over but I do recall.
Being in that state of mindset that she had I recall going through that in the
(18:20):
ages of 15 to 23 23, everyone goes through different things at different stages in life, right?
So what my sister's going through now, I went through that already.
The heartache that she's going through, I went through that from the ages of 15 to 23.
That's what she's living right now. I already lived it. Except I would say that
(18:43):
hers is a little more intense.
It's a little more intense because a lot more variables are included than what I went through.
But yeah, I still try to be understanding. And when I get out of line,
I tell her, listen, I'm about to get nasty.
And instead of calling you dumb and all these things, I'm going to just step
back and pause and give us some space.
(19:04):
I'm already getting mad that you You keep going through this.
So we take space between each other because of that.
So a brother is born from adversary. It's true because a lot of the time when
you're going through great things and beautiful things,
some people don't have people, loved ones around them to say,
(19:28):
oh, hey, remember that time that you went through this and that? Wow, you've come so far.
Look at you now. a lot of the times people when they're in a great spot in their
life they don't have a cheerleading team they don't have a support system and
that sucks that sucks real bad.
And I'm saying it sucks because I've never been in that space so I cannot even
(19:50):
imagine what it feels like it must be terrible I'm glad for my loved ones and
I will never get tired of saying I'm happy to have a support system because
it is imperative to me to get to where I'm going And because the way my mindset
work is, where I'm going,
I want to take my whole support system with me.
I don't want to have to hire outsiders.
(20:10):
If I have to hire outsiders, of course I will do so, but I would like my whole
support team to follow me in my journey and be there in my growth.
Because they will be there when it's time to collect fruits.
When it's time to collect the fruits, my support ones will be there.
My support ones will be there. My support system, my loved ones, they will be there.
(20:34):
Again, English is my second language,
so if some stuff don't make sense to you, read between the lines.
My support ones, my support system, tomato, tomato.
Everyone is waiting for a class on how to patent their goals. Thank you.
Unfortunately, as much as we have resources online, if you have an idea that
you've never heard of, chances are there is no classes to teach you how to start that business.
(21:01):
Chances are there is no resources out there to support what it is that you're trying to bring to life.
So you have to try to be creative. Creative, I wish for abundance of creativity
for everyone who's watching this, overabundance of love, overabundance of joy,
overabundance of generational wealth.
(21:22):
And that's what I wish for, for everyone who's listening to this.
Any idea that you have, please go for it. Go for it.
Go for it. You don't have anyone on your corner, message me.
I will be your cheerleader.
I'm down for being a cheerleader. I'm really good at cheering people up.
Up I'm really good at rooting for people words
of affirmation are my thing I will
(21:44):
cheer you up go ahead and message me and tell me you don't have to
tell me the details go ahead and message me and say hey I have I have
an idea and this and that just tell me the basics that you're able to say online
and I will cheer for you I will gladly cheer for you because I know that if
you plan it out if you write down your steps and you achieve your goals one
(22:05):
by one giving your one percent every day, I know that you can achieve it.
You versus you. You are your biggest competitor.
Always, always, always compare yourself to yourself. Never compare your life to others.
Faith plus friend plus spiritual formation equals fruit.
So I'm working right now on my spiritual formation, meaning I'm trying to get closer to God.
(22:31):
I haven't found a church yet, but I would like to find a church that has people
around my age and not just... The thing is that everywhere I live at,
I see mostly the older generation in the church.
And what happens with that is I've already attended churches that were like
that. and those churches are very, they think a certain way, right?
(22:52):
They think their relationship with God needs to look a certain way.
And I don't believe that.
The way I see my relationship with God now is not the same way I saw my relationship
with God when I was 17 years old.
It's not. There's a lot of things that have shifted in my brain and in my mindset
that I need God to show me clarity on.
(23:12):
Whatever God wants to take from me, he can take it from me. I'm just not letting a man in a church.
Tell me what I need to remove out of my life.
God has to be the one to show me what it is that he wanted to remove from my
life and how to remove it.
Because sometimes you might tell someone to do something, but unless you show
them how to do it, they might not understand the instructions.
People are visual learners, right? So I'm working on my physical health,
(23:37):
my mental health, and my spiritual formation, right?
So I do believe that I'm in my season of growth, my season season of reaping what I've sowed.
So I've been sowing a lot of blessings, a lot of fruits for a while now. I've been sowing seeds.
You don't say sow fruits.
I've been sowing a lot of seeds here and there.
(23:59):
And I believe this is my season for growth and reaping what I sow, right?
So believe in that, I'm going to continue to work on my mental,
physical, and spiritual life.
I'm I'm just giving you an update on my life. Let me see what else.
Also, making a fresh commitment to myself. So make a fresh commitment to yourself
that you will improve that area of your life that's like in discipline,
(24:22):
faith, strength, education, endurance, stamina, value, etc.
Right? So I made a commitment to myself that I was going to improve my mental
health, my physical health, and my spiritual health.
So I've made the proper steps in every area and they've become a routine, right?
Right i lost four pounds this month
during the 16-8 fast technique it
(24:42):
wasn't my original purpose to lose weight on this fast it was to try to regulate
my menstruation thankfully i haven't been in pain on my period i would say 30
days 30 days labor pain free i had my period on.
March 15th. March 15th was my last period and last of five days. That's my normal cycle.
(25:07):
I'm in my normal cycle already. I'm no longer bleeding outside of my period. My body feels great.
I have more energy. I'm sleeping more. So I'm fixing a lot of areas in my life,
right? So because I started the 16-8 fast, I discovered the last time that I
did it, a few months ago, it didn't work out because I was getting a lot of headaches.
(25:27):
And then I decided to organize myself and say, okay, I'm going to do 21 days.
I started with 21 days and I said, if in 21 days I don't get a headache,
I will continue with the days.
Then 30 days went on and I said, okay. Okay, I turned on the monitoring,
how much I sleep, reading on my phone, on my iPhone.
(25:50):
So my iPhone is set to, for me to sleep between 10.30 p.m. New York time.
Don't ask me which, don't ask me the logistics of that, whatever.
So I'm supposed to be sleeping from 10.30 p.m. until 6.20 a.m.
Every single night, that's what I'm supposed to be doing. Now,
(26:11):
do I complete this every day? No, I do not.
There's some days, depending on what's going on, that I might go to sleep at
1230 or three in the morning.
Some days, not every day, not every day.
Usually if I am doing something between 1230 and three in the morning,
it's probably spiritually praying and things like that. If I do that,
(26:34):
that's what's happening.
Instead of me, I've reduced a lot of death scrolling, doom scrolling.
I think it's doom scrolling. I said death scrolling. I reduced a lot of the
doom scrolling that night and used it for prayer and sleep now.
So once I added that, I'm getting six hours or more of sleep.
(26:54):
I'm doing the fast and I'm no longer getting the headaches.
So now I'm on day 64 sorry
I'm on day 64 of my 16A fast if
I had a soundboard right now and I knew how to work a soundboard I would enter
a plus right here I'm doing a great job I'm doing a good job I'm putting in
(27:15):
my one percent daily to improve myself I'm proud of myself I'm going going to
continue doing the work that I need to do to reach where I want to be at.
Okay. So let's see, let's see, let's see. So please, you know,
make a fresh commitment today.
It's the first of the month, April 1st, 2024. Make a first commitment to yourself
that you're going to do something about your life.
(27:37):
Whatever area do you've been procrastinating for years and years and years,
or whatever time it's cost you.
If you've been procrastinating, make a fresh commitment right Right now that
you're going to do that thing that you've been saying you're going to do and you haven't done it.
We all know what's good for us. It's just we don't do it. And I'm not going
to say it now because I've been mistreating myself for too long.
(28:01):
I've been disrespecting myself for too long.
And because I started working on my mental health a year ago,
I'm realizing that my life is better than it has ever been because I made a
commitment to myself that I was going to be a better person for me and my children.
Do I get angry every day? Yes. Do I get upset every day? Yes,
(28:21):
I do. I have normal human being emotions. I'm not saying that I don't get angry.
I know that I'm managing my anger because I come from a family that has a lot of anger issues.
I know my inner child and my teen self and my current self want different things.
I know that they do. So I'm trying to align my life so that we're all on the
(28:42):
same page. That's what I'm doing here.
So I'm going to say that again. Make a first commitment to yourself that you
will improve that area of your life.
That's like indiscipline faith strength education endurance stamina
and value etc etc means that
whatever area in your life that you're lacking that you're trying to improve that's
the area that you should be improving look at you responding differently in
(29:04):
these difficult times that's another thing you're doing a good job if you're
responding if you're responding differently to things that are happening to
you that when they used to happen to you before you used to explode Dota, good for you.
I know the littlest things used to get me angry before don't get me angry anymore.
For example, I'm just giving an example.
(29:25):
If I step on some toys, like that will get me heated.
Or if I am fixing the light from the curtain and the curtain pole falls on my head, I'm heated.
You know, I worked through all of that. I worked through all of that.
And I had to look at my life and say, why are these tiny little things upsetting me so much?
(29:48):
Why am I letting one tiny little thing dictate the whole rest of my day?
It shouldn't be like that.
It shouldn't be like that. It's just causing strain on my heart for no reason.
I was a very, very, very spicy, angry teenager.
I'm no longer that teenager. I'm an adult now, right?
I'm in my 30s now, right? So let's get it together. Let's get it together.
(30:10):
You're in the space that you want to be in, right?
I start immediately tracking my life and saying, you have this,
you have this, you have this, you have this, you have this, you've done this, you're doing a good job.
I'm listening to your anger. I'm holding you in the space that you want to be
held in, but I just want to let you know that you're just passing by. You got to move it along.
(30:31):
I feel my feelings and then I work through them. I don't bottle them.
I don't shoo them away. I don't close them away. I work through my emotions.
I apologize to my children when I'm wrong. That's another thing, too.
Immediately. I don't wait until the next day. It doesn't take me 24 hours anymore
to apologize. I apologize the same day. I work through my emotion.
(30:52):
If it takes me 30 minutes, 2 hours, 3 hours, it'll take me as long as it takes me within a day.
I make sure that I don't go to bed angry with my husband or my kids.
I make sure I don't go to bed angry with anyone in general. know if
I give myself space with my sister I let her know hey I
don't agree with how things went down
between us I need more time yes it might
(31:15):
take me a month or two with my sister but I'm
not going to bed angry at her I said my
piece to her I said what I needed to say and I don't think about that when I
go to sleep because I've already told her I need some time to accept your apology
because I I just don't want us to fall back into the same pattern of we do stuff
and then we apologize and then we go back to doing the same stuff. I don't want to do that.
(31:42):
Now, again, look at you responding differently in these difficult times. This is a rough one.
The trending topic that I was seeing that my sister brought up to me,
this was my sister's idea.
She doesn't know that I'm doing this, but she gave me this idea.
There's a trending topic online about things my exes did but i still stayed
(32:03):
please everyone listening,
hope you get a laugh out of this. I hope you get a laugh out of this and I'm
gonna try to say this however I can possibly say this.
Now this is a story all about how I used to be a pygmycia.
If you don't know what a pygmycia is don't worry about it. I
used to wait by the house phone when an ex used
(32:24):
to tell me yes we will hang out and I
would wait all day long by the phone and he
would never call me the phone would never ring and i'd go cry myself
to sleep story number one story number
two one time i got a fake number online
pretended to be his ex to catch him flirting with
her he fell for it when i confronted him he cried and begged me to stay i caught
(32:49):
that some guy what hold on hold on hold on let me see okay oh yeah yeah that's
what i meant to say that's the second Second story.
I caught that same guy another time flirting on social media.
He said that flirting ain't cheating. To me, it is. So I went out and I cheated as well.
(33:12):
That's story number two. Story number three.
One time we slept on the same bed. Check out how protecting God is with me.
The bed had bed bugs and they only used to bite him, not me.
I asked a friend. This is another story. this
is a fourth fifth story fifth story i asked
a friend to lend me seven hundred dollars for a deposit to move
(33:33):
into a room this boy never helped
me pay her back i eventually paid her back i was very blessed to have a friend
like that at the time then this same guy got kicked out of the room for failure
to pay rent making my friend look bad because she was our reference to get that
(33:54):
room. I am so sorry to that girl.
I was so embarrassed when this happened. I couldn't believe that boy was not paying rent.
So he got kicked out and she looked bad. And mind you, we lived in the same house.
She lived in the basement of the house and we lived in the same floor.
(34:15):
I'm not the same floor, sorry. She lived in the basement and we lived in the
first floor. The first floor had, I believe, two rooms, if I'm not mistaken.
And we lived in one of the rooms and the other rooms was other people that lived there.
That guy and I, we broke up and we went our separate ways. But he stayed in
that room. He stayed in that room.
(34:35):
I found out that what he did.
And again, I'm very thankful. I'm very thankful for my friend that she continued
being my friend after that. because I would have not been mad at her if she
would have stopped being friends with me there and then.
That's grounds for not being friends with someone right there.
(34:56):
You do not burn bridges with references.
You don't do that. As a grown adult, you shouldn't do that.
I have never done that to a friend where I have burned the bridge with a reference.
I've never done that. So when people do that, that baffles me.
And it's crazy to me why you would do that anyway.
And then people wonder why their life is going the way they're going because
(35:16):
they're doing things like this.
You're not thinking about the person who hooked you up with that job.
Don't make them look bad.
That is so stupid. Don't make them look bad.
They hooked you up with a job. The decent thing to do is for you to give a two
weeks notice and say, you no longer want to be there.
Don't just quit and never show up. That makes the person who hooked you up with that job look bad.
(35:38):
And this is why a lot of people, it's not that they don't want to hook you up with stuff.
It's that they already experienced someone who they gave the benefit of the
doubt to, who they thought was solid, who they thought was responsible,
who looked good on paper.
And then when push came to shove, those people made you look bad.
It's not cute. cute 2024 stop making
(35:59):
your friends or your references or whoever hooked you up with something stop
making them look bad it's not cute that's why your life is going miserable in
the way that it's going because you are out there burning bridges okay thankfully
i didn't live with him when he got kicked out of that room again that friend
of mine was there for me at my lowest,
(36:19):
she a real one she know who she is she listens to
the podcast i was such a pig misha i used
to leave hickeys on a guys on guys necks
so they would get in trouble with their girlfriends i used
to leave underwear in their book bags so they would
get in trouble that way also please notice
i did all these things because i was a player who
(36:41):
was not working on healing did not think what i
was doing was wrong could not accept i had
daddy issues so on and so forth if
this is you just know no man will ever complete you
okay so hopefully by what i've shared you understand what a pygmy is i'm going
to try to explain it to the best of my ability a pygmy is a girl that is a pygmy
(37:04):
girl it's a girl that will not respect herself will lower her values just to be chosen by by a man.
It's a person who caters to others, even if it's detrimental to them.
I think that's the best way that I can describe what a pygmy shah is.
(37:25):
And again, I would like to.
A disclaimer i did this in my teens i'm
no longer that person if you want to judge
me by my past go judge me by my past i don't care recommendation
for this week is supermarket simulator on
steam if you are a pc gamer not a sponsor i need to start saying not a sponsor
(37:47):
because i'm over here recommending my stuff i'm not you might think i'm being
sponsored i'm not sponsored i just just think the stuff that I recommend is
really good and has helped me and things that I enjoy doing.
If you're a PC gamer and you like chill vibe games, like I do,
I like chill vibes games. I like Animal Crossing.
Shout outs to Walter. My friend Walter was the one that put me on to Animal
(38:11):
Crossing and it has been an obsession of a game for me.
I put it down, I pick it back up, i put it down i pick it back
up when i get bored i put it down and when
i get into my i don't know how to describe
it but that's the game i've been able to pause and pick
back up and i haven't been able to do that with other
(38:32):
games in a long time and very very
long time i'm thinking about picking back up horizon zero dawn
for the playstation 5 i'm not
sure yet i i'm thinking about it i'm debating it but
for now go ahead and see if
you like supermarket simulator on steam if
(38:52):
how vulnerable i have been today with you has helped
in any way please download the episodes and follow me i release new episodes
every wednesday and friday i got my podcast now i'm butchering the ending but
what has motivated me to doing more episodes is number one i got an email from
podbean Shout out to Podbean.
(39:14):
This podcast, this website is really easy for me to maneuver.
I'm not really deep into the text of anything, but little by little,
I'm learning things, right?
Learning the tools of this Podbean platform.
I got an email from Podbean letting me know that Friday is a popular day that
people listen to my podcast.
(39:35):
Now, this might be because of my best friend, Sori. She listens to my podcast
when she's doing her skincare routine.
I can't really say why Friday is a popular day.
I haven't really looked at the statistics to know how many people are listening
and downloading on Friday. But I know Sori, my best friend, is one of them.
So that encouraged me, number one, that email from Podbean. Shout out to Podbean
(39:58):
and Sori. And number two, my stepfather.
I love that man to death. like that man
is so supporting so supporting so smart
so wise my mom told him that i was doing a podcast and she told him every wednesday
and he answered her and he said only one day why so little so shout out to my
(40:20):
stepfather chacho shout out to chacho thank you so much for being so supportive
even though he doesn't know English,
he likes the idea of me doing this.
So my stepfather, Podbean, and Sori have encouraged me to do more episodes.
Now, let me try doing the outro again. If Abonagua has been today with you,
(40:43):
has helped in any way, please download the episodes and follow me.
I release new episodes every Wednesday and Friday.
My podcast is available now on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio,
Player FM, Listen Note, Samsung Podcast, Podchaser, Boonplay,
Deezer, and Podcast Addict.
Find me wherever you get your podcasts.
(41:05):
I am growing through every experience. I hope that you are too.
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