April 24, 2024 • 20 mins
Dolly Parton once said "Don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."
In this episode, I'll be sharing with your 5 HUGE Game-Changing Insights that can lead to a greater Work/Life Harmony.
It's something that we all want right? That perfect balance between work & life...
Well, if you're finding it difficult to balance work demands with your personal life & it's affecting your happiness then you'll find that these 5 powerful insights will make an immediate positive difference.
SHOW NOTES & LINKS:
Statistics on work/life balance talked about on the show can be found here.
If you'd like to download the the FREE Full Life Audit Worksheet then you can do so here:
The Full Life Audit Download (Free PDF Worksheet)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So I want to start off this episode by sharing an amazing quote that I love
from American singer songwriter Dolly Parton.
So she said that you should never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
So I love that and given I am a bit of a workaholic every now and again I think
I'm going to pin that on my refrigerator.
(00:20):
But it is a great quote isn't it and one that will hit home for many people.
There was a study done in 2021 in the US and it found that only 60% of employees
were able to effectively balance work with personal commitments.
The study also revealed that 77% of employees experienced burnout at some stage in their current job,
(00:44):
and a whopping 83% of workers say that their personal relationships are negatively
affected by excessive demands and burnout from work.
So that is pretty mental. Houston, we have a problem here.
So in this episode of the Stress Less Living Podcast, we're going to take a
look at five powerful insights that will help you obtain this golden but often
(01:04):
elusive elixir that so many people want, and that is work-life balance.
Hey there and welcome to the Stress Less Living Podcast. My name is Stephen
Burns and I've been a practicing coach, trainer and hypnotherapist for 25 years.
Each week I'll share easily digestible bite-sized ideas that you can immediately
put into practice so that you can live a more harmonious and balanced life.
(01:28):
Because life is challenging, but whatever we encounter, we always have a choice.
We can take the easy routes or the hard routes, the low stress way or the high stress way.
Well, the Stress Less Living podcast is about always looking for the easy routes
in life, the low stress ways to accomplish your goals, get more of what you
want, and ultimately live a happy and more effortless life.
(01:50):
So if you're looking for the perfect antidote for the chaos of modern life,
my friend, you are absolutely in the right place.
So let's get started so i just
want to start off by saying that this is actually quite
personal for me i do class myself as i
mentioned at the start there as a bit of a workaholic and also
as a business owner because i create my own schedule i don't have a boss telling
(02:13):
me when i should be working that boss is of course me but there is a tendency
for me to not know when to stop so because of this the lines between work and
personal life can begin to blur a little bit it for me.
So if I don't keep on top of it then I will just keep on working and this will
eventually catch up on me.
I start to notice my productivity dropping, I feel tired and a lot more easily distracted.
(02:39):
But even if you personally don't run a business I would say most people at some
stage struggle with balancing the demands of their jobs with the other aspects of their life.
And also even aside from work we live in a world where we now have access to
everything through social media like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter or X which
(03:00):
is of course great but that does come at a cost.
It also means that everything has access to us 24-7 so it can be super easy
to become overstimulated and this leads to a lack of rest, not being able to switch off.
So even when we're in downtime we're often not completely switched off.
So I think at this point in time it's even more crucial than ever that we make
(03:24):
work-life balance a priority.
And that's what we're going to be looking at in this episode.
We're going to take a look at five powerful insights that will help you create
more balance and harmony in your life.
So, insight number one. Realising that the perfect work-life balance is actually a myth.
You know, at the end of the day, life will always require trade-offs.
(03:47):
One obvious example is whether or not you decide to have kids.
You know, if we go back like 40 or 50 years, my parents' generation,
the objective was fairly simple.
You meet someone, get married by the age of 18, get a job for life,
have kids by the age of 21, and you live happily ever after.
I'm simplifying it, of course, but that's kind of what everybody did.
(04:09):
But nowadays, people are actively choosing whether or not to have kids and there
will be trade-offs both ways.
If you have kids, you get the amazing sense of satisfaction and love that kids
bring. But you also have to make sacrifices.
You can't live your life exactly the way that you did before.
You can't go on two or three day drinking benders. You have responsibilities now.
(04:32):
I'm sure you didn't do that anyway, but maybe that was just me as a teenager.
But you have to give certain things up There are trade-offs and of course on
the other side if you don't have kids you can live a very free life You can
do what you want You can go on holidays to your heart's content if of course
you have the finances to support that but you miss out on that Special connection
(04:52):
that you get with kids and of course,
there's no right or wrong here. It's all choices and
But at the end of the days, there will always be trade-offs.
And that's quite an obvious example, but most of life is like that, isn't it?
If you want to have an amazing career, then you're going to have to prioritise that.
You might miss out on some social things that other people are doing.
If family is more important to you, then you may have to sacrifice some of your career goals.
(05:17):
If you want to get in shape, then you're going to have to stop eating cakes
and spend more time in the gym or going out for runs.
Again, life is all about trade-offs. So the perfect work-life balance isn't
really a thing and I'm going to suggest that what you're looking for here is
an overall sense of harmony where not everything is perfect but there's just
(05:39):
an overall sense of contentment in your life.
And if something feels like it's out of sync or if there's a big piece that
just feels like it's missing from your life That's when you need to take a look
at things and do something about it so that you can get back to that place of
natural harmony Are you someone who struggles with work-life balance?
(05:59):
You find it difficult to maintain harmony between career ambitions and your
personal well-being You're doing your best to balance demands and deadlines
with the other important aspects of your life But things like burnout,
stress and a nagging sense of guilt seem to forever lurk in the background.
Well one of the very best first steps that you can do to create more balance
(06:20):
is to do a full life audit.
This is a powerful process that helps you highlight areas of your life that
are a little bit out of sync and need to be addressed so that you can return
to a more harmonious place.
So if you want to do a life audit then I have a free PDF that will take you through the.
To get access to that, please check the show notes. You'll see a link and all
(06:42):
the information you need.
So that's insight number one. The perfect work-life balance is not actually a thing. It's a myth.
So you don't want to ever set that as your goal.
So powerful insight number two, work-life balance is a process.
It's not something that we acquire.
So the reason why I've included this one is that the way some people often talk
(07:04):
about work-life balance is they talk about it as if it's an end goal,
that you do x y and z and then all
of a sudden you have work-life balance and that's you all sorted
you can stick your feet up you've accomplished work-life balance
tick it off the objectives and you know jobs are
good in but that's not the way life works is
it work-life balance isn't like an achievement that
(07:26):
you get in a video game by completing a level creating balance
in your life is a continual lifelong process and
something that we have to always keep on top of there's a
great story that I like to tell about Albert Einstein
and it was at a time when he was asked to
design a set of questions for a local university so
he went away and he designed this set of questions and he handed them back to
(07:49):
the head of the department and the head of the department took one look at them
and said Mr Einstein these questions they are exactly the same as they were
last year and Einstein said yes yes you have noticed but the answers have changed and I love
this story because I think the only thing that ever remains constant in life
is the fact that everything is changing and will be changing all the time and
(08:12):
you know everything is a process and if we don't change with it then it's eventually
going to bite us on the ass.
So work-life balance or work-life harmony is a process like everything else
and we need to continually keep on top of it.
So just to dig a little bit deeper into that there's usually two main ways that
we can get knocked off balance.
(08:32):
The first is whenever we experience some kind of dramatic event in our life.
So maybe you lose your job or you're in a new job or perhaps it's the end of
a long-term relationship that was meaningful to you.
Something big and emotionally, maybe it's a bereavement or something else.
I know for me in my early 30s I ended a long-term relationship and the experience was.
(08:57):
Unsettling to say the least but at the same time it was super exciting because
it took my life in a completely different direction and I'm very thankful for
that but I definitely experienced a huge shake-up in my values,
my beliefs, my worldview and also my lifestyle and while this was very exciting
it did create a lot of disharmony, it knocked me off balance for a while.
(09:19):
So if you are experiencing something big in your life, something dramatic and
emotional then that's always a good time to take a closer look at your priorities in life.
So the second way that we can be knocked off balance is what I refer to as the drift factor.
We're not talking about bodyboarding or surfing or anything like that.
So I'm talking about the small incremental changes that happen in our life over a longer period of time.
(09:45):
And the thing is, we don't often notice these while they're happening,
but they eventually creep up on us. They eventually build up.
And then all of a a sudden we realise that we're significantly off course,
something is out of sync and potentially we're not as happy as we can be.
To give an example of this, so it's a wee bit like if an aeroplane was to be one degree off course.
(10:05):
You wouldn't really notice it at the time but when you look at the whole journey
you're going to eventually end up being miles off.
You might end up in Austria rather than Australia.
Incidentally you see this quite a lot in relationships. You you both gradually
change over time, maybe over years or potentially decades.
And then you hit a point where you look at each other and you're like,
(10:26):
why are we together again? We're completely different people now.
And this also of course happens in working life too. You change and you eventually
outgrow your job over time
And all of a sudden you realize you're not happy and you're like,
I need to change. I need a new job.
So these are two ways that we can be knocked off balance in life.
But the key takeaway is that work-life balance is a process and it's something
(10:50):
that we need to keep on top of. So that's number two.
Insight number three is recognizing the importance of prioritizing your values.
So just in case you don't know, a value is an aspect of life that is important
to us. And we tend to give keywords to these values.
So things like success, growth, freedom, significance, excitement,
(11:12):
connection, belonging, security, safety.
The list can go on and on. And what we also have a tendency to do is we arrange
these values, these aspects of life that are important to us in a league table.
And this happens subconsciously.
We don't have to think about it. Some aspects of life will just naturally be
more important than others. and a really useful practice is to figure out what
(11:36):
your top five values are.
So for me, just to give you an example, my top five values in this order.
Growth, freedom, connection, to make a difference and fun.
So in general, when we live life in alignment with most important values.
That's when we are at our happiest and it's also when we feel the most amount of harmony and balance.
(11:58):
In fact, when we're doing things that aren't fulfilling our most important values,
or even worse, when we're forced to do things that are in conflict with them,
that's when our life feels totally out of sync, when it feels out of balance.
If you've ever felt that something is just fundamentally missing from your life
or something is just very much out of sync, then it's almost always because
(12:21):
one or more of your most important values are not being fulfilled. filled.
So if I'm having to, for example, live my life in a way that doesn't fit with
growth, freedom, connection, to make a difference and fund my top five values,
then I'm going to be unhappy. I'm going to feel really out of balance.
And this is also why people can often feel very unhappy in their job,
(12:41):
because they've just found themselves in a situation that doesn't align with their values.
Maybe the company that they're working with just isn't a good fit for their
top five areas that are most important to them.
So they can't get motivated and it's like, ah, I just don't want to do this.
I don't want to get out of bed.
And the whole thing just feels a real struggle and they feel out of sync.
(13:02):
It feels like they're being forced to do something rather than actually wanting to do it.
So I'm not going to go too much more into values, but if you do want to explore
this further, then I have a free PDF that you can download that will help you do a full life audit.
And a big part of that is where you figure out your values. You've maybe heard
the advert at some point during this episode.
(13:24):
But ultimately, you're looking to live life more in alignment with your values.
And when you do that, that's when you feel this wonderful sense of harmony and
a sense of balance in your life. So that's insight number three.
Powerful insight number four is more of a realization.
And that is the idea that when you love your job, work-life balance becomes
(13:45):
way less of an issue. So this is actually a bit of a follow-on from the previous one about values.
When we love our job or career or our business, whatever it is that you do,
the boundary between work and life in general becomes a little bit more blurry,
especially if your job is also your passion.
(14:06):
You know, if you're fortunate enough to be in that position,
it kind of feels like you're doing a hobby and you're getting paid for it.
It's absolutely amazing. And this almost always leads to you having more energy,
being able to work more with less rest and feeling a natural sense of balance
because it feels like you're doing what you're meant to do.
Essentially, what is going on with this is you've found a career or a business
(14:29):
or a job that fits beautifully with your most important values.
So that's why it's a bit of a follow on from the previous insight.
And this also works the other way as well.
When we dislike or even hate our job, then work-life balance tends to all of
a sudden become a massive issue. It becomes a huge priority.
You'll hear people say things like, you know, I work to live rather than living to work.
(14:52):
I actually used to say that myself when I worked in the oil and gas industry.
And there's nothing wrong with that, but there are some inbuilt problems.
Disadvantages with it. You will feel more tired, what you do outside of work
will become acutely more important and you do increase the chances of burnout.
In fact if we go back to statistics, the study I mentioned at the start of this
(15:13):
episode, by the way I will include a link to that study in the notes below or
certainly the website that includes all of the information.
It also showed that the chances of experiencing burnout are significantly higher
if you don't like your job which I guess makes a lot of sense based on what
we've been talking about.
So if you don't like your job you have two choices really.
(15:35):
Number one find a way to enjoy it more or number two if that's not possible
find a new job and I know that that is sometimes easier said than done but hey
how we spend our time is one of the most important things when it comes to getting
the most out of life and we do spend a heck of a lot of time at our work so it is important.
So that's insight number four and the fifth and final powerful insight is the
(16:00):
importance of knowing what is enough for you.
So it's crucial to know what you need to do during your working day in order
to feel like you've done enough, where you hit that point where you feel satisfied
that you've done all you can.
So what would be enough for you to be satisfied with your day's work?
Because so often we don't know or what's worse we place unfair expectations
(16:23):
on ourself thinking that we can do way more than what we should be doing.
Disappointment does require adequate planning, frustration requires adequate
planning and that's what happens when we don't think that we've done enough during our day.
The stress and incompletion of all of those tasks carries over into our evening
and that can manifest itself as ruminating thoughts, it becomes difficult to
(16:47):
switch off at at the end of the day, we're still thinking about work.
And this of course is gonna affect your work-life balance.
To link back to what I mentioned previously, you know, in business,
I am my own boss, which sounds great, and it kind of is, but it also means that
you set your own schedule.
So what I was finding was I didn't know when to stop working because I had no set hours.
(17:08):
I didn't know what enough was, especially if I was working from home.
You know, now I have an office that really helps me bookend my day.
I know that when I leave the office, that's the work finished.
I can close off all of the working tasks in my mind. But, you know,
it still is something I have to be aware of.
I have to know what is enough so I can reach that sense of completion and feel
(17:30):
a sense that I'm satisfied with my day's work.
So, by the way, this is based on something called the Zygarnik effect.
So in the 1960s, they did a really interesting study on waiters and waitresses.
And they found that if a bill was left open, then they could remember everything
on that bill, what people had ordered.
But when it was closed off, they pretty much forgot it all and then moved on to the next thing.
(17:53):
And what they deduced from this was that when something is left open,
when there's an open loop, then the mind keeps a hold of it.
So we keep on thinking about it way after the experience.
And this is what happens when we don't have a concept of what's enough.
We struggle to fluidly go from work mode into free time mode.
(18:13):
So to create this concept for yourself, the question you want to ask yourself
is this, what would you need to progress that would make you feel like you've
done enough for that day?
You can also do it on a week-to-week basis as well. What would you need to progress
that would make you feel like you've done enough for that week?
And just answering that question can make such an amazing difference.
(18:34):
You know, it changed everything for me.
So what would be enough for you?
To be satisfied that you've put a good shift in. That's what you're working towards.
And be mindful of unfair expectations, thinking that you can accomplish so many
different things because life is organic.
There's going to be plenty of spanners thrown into the works.
So you've got to be realistic with your concept of enough.
(18:57):
As I mentioned previously, disappointment does require adequate planning.
So if you place unfair expectations on yourself, you're actually planning to
be disappointed pointed at some stage in the future. So be mindful of that.
So there we have it, five powerful insights or realizations that will lead to
greater work-life balance.
(19:17):
So number one, realizing that perfect work-life balance is actually a myth.
Number two, work-life balance is a process, something we have to continually keep on top of.
Number three, recognizing the importance of living life through your values.
And number four, realizing that when you love your job, work-life balance actually
(19:37):
becomes less of an issue. So it's important to like what you do.
And the fifth and final one, the importance of knowing what is enough for you.
You have to create that concept for yourself or you'll just keep on working
or you won't be able to switch off at the end of the day. So that's us for this episode.
I think I'd like to conclude it by looping all the way back to that initial
(19:58):
quote that I started off this episode with. And that is, of course, from Dolly Parton.
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
I think that's a great way to end this episode. Pin that to your refrigerator.
So thanks once again for tuning in. If you enjoyed this and you got value out
of it, then I would love it if you could subscribe or follow wherever you listen
(20:21):
to your podcasts and I shall speak to you in the.
Music.
So I want to start off this episode by sharing an amazing quote that I love
from American singer songwriter Dolly Parton.
So she said that you should never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
So I love that and given I am a bit of a workaholic every now and again I think
I'm going to pin that on my refrigerator.
(00:20):
But it is a great quote isn't it and one that will hit home for many people.
There was a study done in 2021 in the US and it found that only 60% of employees
were able to effectively balance work with personal commitments.
The study also revealed that 77% of employees experienced burnout at some stage in their current job,
(00:44):
and a whopping 83% of workers say that their personal relationships are negatively
affected by excessive demands and burnout from work.
So that is pretty mental. Houston, we have a problem here.
So in this episode of the Stress Less Living Podcast, we're going to take a
look at five powerful insights that will help you obtain this golden but often
(01:04):
elusive elixir that so many people want, and that is work-life balance.
Hey there and welcome to the Stress Less Living Podcast. My name is Stephen
Burns and I've been a practicing coach, trainer and hypnotherapist for 25 years.
Each week I'll share easily digestible bite-sized ideas that you can immediately
put into practice so that you can live a more harmonious and balanced life.
(01:28):
Because life is challenging, but whatever we encounter, we always have a choice.
We can take the easy routes or the hard routes, the low stress way or the high stress way.
Well, the Stress Less Living podcast is about always looking for the easy routes
in life, the low stress ways to accomplish your goals, get more of what you
want, and ultimately live a happy and more effortless life.
(01:50):
So if you're looking for the perfect antidote for the chaos of modern life,
my friend, you are absolutely in the right place.
So let's get started so i just
want to start off by saying that this is actually quite
personal for me i do class myself as i
mentioned at the start there as a bit of a workaholic and also
as a business owner because i create my own schedule i don't have a boss telling
(02:13):
me when i should be working that boss is of course me but there is a tendency
for me to not know when to stop so because of this the lines between work and
personal life can begin to blur a little bit it for me.
So if I don't keep on top of it then I will just keep on working and this will
eventually catch up on me.
I start to notice my productivity dropping, I feel tired and a lot more easily distracted.
(02:39):
But even if you personally don't run a business I would say most people at some
stage struggle with balancing the demands of their jobs with the other aspects of their life.
And also even aside from work we live in a world where we now have access to
everything through social media like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter or X which
(03:00):
is of course great but that does come at a cost.
It also means that everything has access to us 24-7 so it can be super easy
to become overstimulated and this leads to a lack of rest, not being able to switch off.
So even when we're in downtime we're often not completely switched off.
So I think at this point in time it's even more crucial than ever that we make
(03:24):
work-life balance a priority.
And that's what we're going to be looking at in this episode.
We're going to take a look at five powerful insights that will help you create
more balance and harmony in your life.
So, insight number one. Realising that the perfect work-life balance is actually a myth.
You know, at the end of the day, life will always require trade-offs.
(03:47):
One obvious example is whether or not you decide to have kids.
You know, if we go back like 40 or 50 years, my parents' generation,
the objective was fairly simple.
You meet someone, get married by the age of 18, get a job for life,
have kids by the age of 21, and you live happily ever after.
I'm simplifying it, of course, but that's kind of what everybody did.
(04:09):
But nowadays, people are actively choosing whether or not to have kids and there
will be trade-offs both ways.
If you have kids, you get the amazing sense of satisfaction and love that kids
bring. But you also have to make sacrifices.
You can't live your life exactly the way that you did before.
You can't go on two or three day drinking benders. You have responsibilities now.
(04:32):
I'm sure you didn't do that anyway, but maybe that was just me as a teenager.
But you have to give certain things up There are trade-offs and of course on
the other side if you don't have kids you can live a very free life You can
do what you want You can go on holidays to your heart's content if of course
you have the finances to support that but you miss out on that Special connection
(04:52):
that you get with kids and of course,
there's no right or wrong here. It's all choices and
But at the end of the days, there will always be trade-offs.
And that's quite an obvious example, but most of life is like that, isn't it?
If you want to have an amazing career, then you're going to have to prioritise that.
You might miss out on some social things that other people are doing.
If family is more important to you, then you may have to sacrifice some of your career goals.
(05:17):
If you want to get in shape, then you're going to have to stop eating cakes
and spend more time in the gym or going out for runs.
Again, life is all about trade-offs. So the perfect work-life balance isn't
really a thing and I'm going to suggest that what you're looking for here is
an overall sense of harmony where not everything is perfect but there's just
(05:39):
an overall sense of contentment in your life.
And if something feels like it's out of sync or if there's a big piece that
just feels like it's missing from your life That's when you need to take a look
at things and do something about it so that you can get back to that place of
natural harmony Are you someone who struggles with work-life balance?
(05:59):
You find it difficult to maintain harmony between career ambitions and your
personal well-being You're doing your best to balance demands and deadlines
with the other important aspects of your life But things like burnout,
stress and a nagging sense of guilt seem to forever lurk in the background.
Well one of the very best first steps that you can do to create more balance
(06:20):
is to do a full life audit.
This is a powerful process that helps you highlight areas of your life that
are a little bit out of sync and need to be addressed so that you can return
to a more harmonious place.
So if you want to do a life audit then I have a free PDF that will take you through the.
To get access to that, please check the show notes. You'll see a link and all
(06:42):
the information you need.
So that's insight number one. The perfect work-life balance is not actually a thing. It's a myth.
So you don't want to ever set that as your goal.
So powerful insight number two, work-life balance is a process.
It's not something that we acquire.
So the reason why I've included this one is that the way some people often talk
(07:04):
about work-life balance is they talk about it as if it's an end goal,
that you do x y and z and then all
of a sudden you have work-life balance and that's you all sorted
you can stick your feet up you've accomplished work-life balance
tick it off the objectives and you know jobs are
good in but that's not the way life works is
it work-life balance isn't like an achievement that
(07:26):
you get in a video game by completing a level creating balance
in your life is a continual lifelong process and
something that we have to always keep on top of there's a
great story that I like to tell about Albert Einstein
and it was at a time when he was asked to
design a set of questions for a local university so
he went away and he designed this set of questions and he handed them back to
(07:49):
the head of the department and the head of the department took one look at them
and said Mr Einstein these questions they are exactly the same as they were
last year and Einstein said yes yes you have noticed but the answers have changed and I love
this story because I think the only thing that ever remains constant in life
is the fact that everything is changing and will be changing all the time and
(08:12):
you know everything is a process and if we don't change with it then it's eventually
going to bite us on the ass.
So work-life balance or work-life harmony is a process like everything else
and we need to continually keep on top of it.
So just to dig a little bit deeper into that there's usually two main ways that
we can get knocked off balance.
(08:32):
The first is whenever we experience some kind of dramatic event in our life.
So maybe you lose your job or you're in a new job or perhaps it's the end of
a long-term relationship that was meaningful to you.
Something big and emotionally, maybe it's a bereavement or something else.
I know for me in my early 30s I ended a long-term relationship and the experience was.
(08:57):
Unsettling to say the least but at the same time it was super exciting because
it took my life in a completely different direction and I'm very thankful for
that but I definitely experienced a huge shake-up in my values,
my beliefs, my worldview and also my lifestyle and while this was very exciting
it did create a lot of disharmony, it knocked me off balance for a while.
(09:19):
So if you are experiencing something big in your life, something dramatic and
emotional then that's always a good time to take a closer look at your priorities in life.
So the second way that we can be knocked off balance is what I refer to as the drift factor.
We're not talking about bodyboarding or surfing or anything like that.
So I'm talking about the small incremental changes that happen in our life over a longer period of time.
(09:45):
And the thing is, we don't often notice these while they're happening,
but they eventually creep up on us. They eventually build up.
And then all of a a sudden we realise that we're significantly off course,
something is out of sync and potentially we're not as happy as we can be.
To give an example of this, so it's a wee bit like if an aeroplane was to be one degree off course.
(10:05):
You wouldn't really notice it at the time but when you look at the whole journey
you're going to eventually end up being miles off.
You might end up in Austria rather than Australia.
Incidentally you see this quite a lot in relationships. You you both gradually
change over time, maybe over years or potentially decades.
And then you hit a point where you look at each other and you're like,
(10:26):
why are we together again? We're completely different people now.
And this also of course happens in working life too. You change and you eventually
outgrow your job over time
And all of a sudden you realize you're not happy and you're like,
I need to change. I need a new job.
So these are two ways that we can be knocked off balance in life.
But the key takeaway is that work-life balance is a process and it's something
(10:50):
that we need to keep on top of. So that's number two.
Insight number three is recognizing the importance of prioritizing your values.
So just in case you don't know, a value is an aspect of life that is important
to us. And we tend to give keywords to these values.
So things like success, growth, freedom, significance, excitement,
(11:12):
connection, belonging, security, safety.
The list can go on and on. And what we also have a tendency to do is we arrange
these values, these aspects of life that are important to us in a league table.
And this happens subconsciously.
We don't have to think about it. Some aspects of life will just naturally be
more important than others. and a really useful practice is to figure out what
(11:36):
your top five values are.
So for me, just to give you an example, my top five values in this order.
Growth, freedom, connection, to make a difference and fun.
So in general, when we live life in alignment with most important values.
That's when we are at our happiest and it's also when we feel the most amount of harmony and balance.
(11:58):
In fact, when we're doing things that aren't fulfilling our most important values,
or even worse, when we're forced to do things that are in conflict with them,
that's when our life feels totally out of sync, when it feels out of balance.
If you've ever felt that something is just fundamentally missing from your life
or something is just very much out of sync, then it's almost always because
(12:21):
one or more of your most important values are not being fulfilled. filled.
So if I'm having to, for example, live my life in a way that doesn't fit with
growth, freedom, connection, to make a difference and fund my top five values,
then I'm going to be unhappy. I'm going to feel really out of balance.
And this is also why people can often feel very unhappy in their job,
(12:41):
because they've just found themselves in a situation that doesn't align with their values.
Maybe the company that they're working with just isn't a good fit for their
top five areas that are most important to them.
So they can't get motivated and it's like, ah, I just don't want to do this.
I don't want to get out of bed.
And the whole thing just feels a real struggle and they feel out of sync.
(13:02):
It feels like they're being forced to do something rather than actually wanting to do it.
So I'm not going to go too much more into values, but if you do want to explore
this further, then I have a free PDF that you can download that will help you do a full life audit.
And a big part of that is where you figure out your values. You've maybe heard
the advert at some point during this episode.
(13:24):
But ultimately, you're looking to live life more in alignment with your values.
And when you do that, that's when you feel this wonderful sense of harmony and
a sense of balance in your life. So that's insight number three.
Powerful insight number four is more of a realization.
And that is the idea that when you love your job, work-life balance becomes
(13:45):
way less of an issue. So this is actually a bit of a follow-on from the previous one about values.
When we love our job or career or our business, whatever it is that you do,
the boundary between work and life in general becomes a little bit more blurry,
especially if your job is also your passion.
(14:06):
You know, if you're fortunate enough to be in that position,
it kind of feels like you're doing a hobby and you're getting paid for it.
It's absolutely amazing. And this almost always leads to you having more energy,
being able to work more with less rest and feeling a natural sense of balance
because it feels like you're doing what you're meant to do.
Essentially, what is going on with this is you've found a career or a business
(14:29):
or a job that fits beautifully with your most important values.
So that's why it's a bit of a follow on from the previous insight.
And this also works the other way as well.
When we dislike or even hate our job, then work-life balance tends to all of
a sudden become a massive issue. It becomes a huge priority.
You'll hear people say things like, you know, I work to live rather than living to work.
(14:52):
I actually used to say that myself when I worked in the oil and gas industry.
And there's nothing wrong with that, but there are some inbuilt problems.
Disadvantages with it. You will feel more tired, what you do outside of work
will become acutely more important and you do increase the chances of burnout.
In fact if we go back to statistics, the study I mentioned at the start of this
(15:13):
episode, by the way I will include a link to that study in the notes below or
certainly the website that includes all of the information.
It also showed that the chances of experiencing burnout are significantly higher
if you don't like your job which I guess makes a lot of sense based on what
we've been talking about.
So if you don't like your job you have two choices really.
(15:35):
Number one find a way to enjoy it more or number two if that's not possible
find a new job and I know that that is sometimes easier said than done but hey
how we spend our time is one of the most important things when it comes to getting
the most out of life and we do spend a heck of a lot of time at our work so it is important.
So that's insight number four and the fifth and final powerful insight is the
(16:00):
importance of knowing what is enough for you.
So it's crucial to know what you need to do during your working day in order
to feel like you've done enough, where you hit that point where you feel satisfied
that you've done all you can.
So what would be enough for you to be satisfied with your day's work?
Because so often we don't know or what's worse we place unfair expectations
(16:23):
on ourself thinking that we can do way more than what we should be doing.
Disappointment does require adequate planning, frustration requires adequate
planning and that's what happens when we don't think that we've done enough during our day.
The stress and incompletion of all of those tasks carries over into our evening
and that can manifest itself as ruminating thoughts, it becomes difficult to
(16:47):
switch off at at the end of the day, we're still thinking about work.
And this of course is gonna affect your work-life balance.
To link back to what I mentioned previously, you know, in business,
I am my own boss, which sounds great, and it kind of is, but it also means that
you set your own schedule.
So what I was finding was I didn't know when to stop working because I had no set hours.
(17:08):
I didn't know what enough was, especially if I was working from home.
You know, now I have an office that really helps me bookend my day.
I know that when I leave the office, that's the work finished.
I can close off all of the working tasks in my mind. But, you know,
it still is something I have to be aware of.
I have to know what is enough so I can reach that sense of completion and feel
(17:30):
a sense that I'm satisfied with my day's work.
So, by the way, this is based on something called the Zygarnik effect.
So in the 1960s, they did a really interesting study on waiters and waitresses.
And they found that if a bill was left open, then they could remember everything
on that bill, what people had ordered.
But when it was closed off, they pretty much forgot it all and then moved on to the next thing.
(17:53):
And what they deduced from this was that when something is left open,
when there's an open loop, then the mind keeps a hold of it.
So we keep on thinking about it way after the experience.
And this is what happens when we don't have a concept of what's enough.
We struggle to fluidly go from work mode into free time mode.
(18:13):
So to create this concept for yourself, the question you want to ask yourself
is this, what would you need to progress that would make you feel like you've
done enough for that day?
You can also do it on a week-to-week basis as well. What would you need to progress
that would make you feel like you've done enough for that week?
And just answering that question can make such an amazing difference.
(18:34):
You know, it changed everything for me.
So what would be enough for you?
To be satisfied that you've put a good shift in. That's what you're working towards.
And be mindful of unfair expectations, thinking that you can accomplish so many
different things because life is organic.
There's going to be plenty of spanners thrown into the works.
So you've got to be realistic with your concept of enough.
(18:57):
As I mentioned previously, disappointment does require adequate planning.
So if you place unfair expectations on yourself, you're actually planning to
be disappointed pointed at some stage in the future. So be mindful of that.
So there we have it, five powerful insights or realizations that will lead to
greater work-life balance.
(19:17):
So number one, realizing that perfect work-life balance is actually a myth.
Number two, work-life balance is a process, something we have to continually keep on top of.
Number three, recognizing the importance of living life through your values.
And number four, realizing that when you love your job, work-life balance actually
(19:37):
becomes less of an issue. So it's important to like what you do.
And the fifth and final one, the importance of knowing what is enough for you.
You have to create that concept for yourself or you'll just keep on working
or you won't be able to switch off at the end of the day. So that's us for this episode.
I think I'd like to conclude it by looping all the way back to that initial
(19:58):
quote that I started off this episode with. And that is, of course, from Dolly Parton.
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
I think that's a great way to end this episode. Pin that to your refrigerator.
So thanks once again for tuning in. If you enjoyed this and you got value out
of it, then I would love it if you could subscribe or follow wherever you listen
(20:21):
to your podcasts and I shall speak to you in the.
Music.
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