April 1, 2024 • 18 mins
In this episode of the Stress-Less Living Podcast, we'll be taking a look at five major time wasters that may well be holding you back from reaching your full potential and living a balanced life.
Our 'time' is one of the most valuable assets that we have yet we often spend unwarranted portions of it on things that either don't matter or don't move the needle forward in the important areas of our life.
In this episode, you'll discover 5 key 'time-wasters' that most people engage in (at some point of their lives).
By cutting out these 5 things, you'll start to free up your life so that you can spend your time on the things that matter most to you.
SHOW LINKS:
– Free Online Training on Meditation (IMPORTANT NOTE: Enter the code: SLLOFFER at checkout to enrol for free): https://mind-school.newzenler.com/courses/chaos-to-calm-finding-inner-peace-in-your-working-life-through-meditation?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I don't know about you, but for me, the older I get, the more respect I have for my time.
When I was in my 20s and 30s, I acted as if time was endless.
Old age was something that happened to other people. And hey,
when I get to 60 or 70 or 80, they'll have cured old age anyway.
They'll give you a pill that will give you an extra 30 years of life.
(00:20):
But when I turned 40, which horrifyingly is now six years ago,
I was suddenly acutely aware of my mortality. mentality.
I was like, oh, I don't like where this is going.
And since then, I've been so much more respectful of how I use my time.
And if there are things that waste my time, then I'm a lot less tolerant of
them. I look to cut them out as much as I possibly can.
(00:42):
So in this episode of the Stress Less Living podcast, we're going to be taking
a look at the five biggest time wasters that you need to cut out of your life.
At the end of the day, life is not a trial run and how we choose to spend our
time is one of the most important considerations that we can ever make.
(01:03):
Hey there and welcome to the Stress Less Living Podcast.
My name is Stephen Burns and I've been a practicing coach, trainer and hypnotherapist for 25 years.
Each week I'll share easily digestible bite-sized ideas that you can immediately
put into practice so that you can live a more harmonious and balanced life.
On this podcast you can expect mindset advice, strategies for dealing with big
(01:25):
modern day problems like stress, overwhelm, burnout, perfectionism and procrastination,
and also insights into tools like meditation and mindfulness.
So if you're looking for the perfect antidote for the chaos of modern life,
my friend, you are absolutely in the right place.
So let's get started. What are these five big time wasters?
(01:46):
Well, this is not an extensive list, you may want to add your own things to
it, but these are five that I've found have come up frequently with clients and colleagues.
So time waster number one, not knowing what your values are.
So just in case you don't know, a value is an aspect of life that is important to you.
(02:07):
And we often allocate keywords to these values.
So things like growth, satisfaction, safety, security, connection.
Belonging, making a difference, significance, the list goes on and on.
And what we tend to do as human beings is we arrange most important values into
(02:28):
a league table into a hierarchy so these are like areas of life that we decided
are more important than other areas and we arrange them into like i said this
league table so for me my top.
Five values are as follows. So number one is growth, number two is freedom,
number three is connection, number four is to make a difference and number five is fun.
(02:54):
So the reason why this is important when it comes to time is because in general
when we live life in alignment with our most important values that's when we
are at our happiest and it feels like we are making the very best use out of our time.
So if I'm living a life that is not in alignment with growth,
(03:15):
freedom, connection to make a difference and fun then it's going to make me really unhappy.
It's going to feel like I'm completely wasting my time and this by the way is
why people can be really unhappy in a job because it doesn't align with their most important values.
So it feels like they're being forced to do something that deep down they just don't want to do.
(03:38):
So you want to have a think if you're looking to figure out your own important values.
The key question you want to ask is what are the things that are most important to you in life?
And you want to ask that question a few times. Usually when you ask it once
you get the social answers but if you ask it several times and you deeply reflect
(03:59):
on it you're going to start to get some of these keywords.
So if you you want an example of these keywords or if you want a list of them,
then I've included a link to a list of values in the show notes if you want to check that out.
And then from there, you want to have a think, okay, so what are my most important ones?
So if I was to come up with three or five of my most important values, what would those be?
(04:23):
If you were to arrange them into a hierarchy, a league table,
what would that league table look like?
And then from there, you want to ask yourself, OK, so how can I then organise
my time around those things?
Now, of course, there's going to be a bit of leeway. There's going to be a bit of give and take.
You can't always do everything that you want. Life, of course,
(04:44):
does require compromises. It does require trade-offs.
But you want to be spending most of your time in alignment with your most important values.
So how can you go about doing that? So, you're a busy person,
you have a demanding job or a hectic lifestyle and you've heard that meditation
is a great way to reduce stress and create calm within the chaos that is your life.
(05:07):
But you've tried meditation a few times, maybe with an app or from a book or
a YouTube video and it's just not really worked for you and you've maybe jumped
to the conclusion that meditation isn't for you.
Well, if that's the case, I just want to say that it's most most likely not your fault.
A lot of the time when meditation doesn't really work that well,
it's because you're missing a couple of key steps.
(05:30):
And if you want to learn what those key steps are and some of the fundamentals
of meditation, then I have a free video training that you can enroll on.
If you want to check that out, I've included a link to it in the show notes
and all the information that you need.
So that is time waster number one. Time
waster number two is being in a a relationship that makes you unhappy.
(05:52):
This one is a biggie. So for me, I was in a long-term relationship in my early 20s up to my early 30s.
And the weird thing was, at the time, I knew I wasn't fulfilled.
In fact, I knew the relationship wasn't really for me after about year two,
but I stuck around anyway just to see if it would change. And guess what? I
(06:15):
it didn't change at all. In fact, it got worse. And that's time that I can't ever get back.
So nowadays, I'm very mindful about not making that mistake again in the future.
And the thing is, I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here.
I'm talking about friends and work relationships too.
Maybe you belong to a circle of friends that don't support you,
(06:39):
or even worse, bring you down to make them feel good. That's pretty common, if we're being honest.
So I think it's very important to examine and look at the relationships and
then choose wisely the people that we spend time with.
And if there's a relationship that's not working for you, there's three options you want to take.
So option number one is what I call the pep talk.
(07:03):
So this is where you call it out. So you
let them know that you're not happy with the way this relationship
is set up or the way that you're being treated in
the relationship and if that works fantastic if not
you can then progress to option number two and
this is where you limit the relationship so say
for example you have a circle of friends and you feel like it's maybe not the
(07:27):
best group to be hanging about with all the time but you still value some of
the people in it and you do on the whole value that relationship then maybe
you want to just limit the amount of time that you spend with them.
You know you don't have to cut them out completely that's very much a last resort
but you maybe won't just want to restrict the amount of time that you spend in that relationship.
(07:48):
So that's option number two and if that doesn't work you can then go to the
extreme version that's option number three and that is where you cut them off.
Now I'm not usually an advocate for you know cutting off from personal or work
or family relationships but sometimes it needs to be done if you are in a toxic
(08:08):
relationship and it's showing absolutely no signs of changing and deep down
you know it's not going to change.
Got to cut it off and I know that does sound extreme but sometimes we just have
to do that and I think just appreciating that there are so many people on the
planet and you're not going to be a good fit for all of them and all of them
(08:31):
are certainly not going to be a good fit for you and that is perfectly okay.
I think that's a really powerful realisation to make
so I think sometimes it's just best to admit that
you've got to go your separate ways and it's time to cut
things off so that's time waster number two
time waster number three trying to
multitask so this is something i
(08:53):
am really really big on and that is you
want to avoid attempting to multitask as much as you possibly can so many people
try to multitask and this is where you attempt to spin lots of plates at the
one time you take on far too much you fragment your attention across across
(09:13):
several different tasks.
So maybe you're sending a message at the same time as answering an email or
you're surfing the internet while you're having dinner with a friend,
or maybe you're doing something else.
You're maybe juggling three or four projects at the one time and it's starting to overwhelm you.
Well, the thing is, research has shown that multitasking isn't just not effective,
(09:37):
it's actually not something that we can even do or at least do effectively.
That when you get down to it, you can only ever focus on a single thing properly at the one time.
So when we attempt to multitask, what you end up doing is you just end up doing
lots of single things really badly.
So instead of multitasking or attempting to multitask, you want to single task instead.
(10:03):
So this is where you give something your full undivided attention.
You fully immerse yourself in the activity that you're
doing and then when you're finished you move on to
the next thing and give that your full undivided attention
hey it's kind of like the advice that your
granny used to give you you can only focus on one thing
(10:23):
at a time i don't know if your granny gave you that advice i think mine did
but maybe i'm misremembering let's not go there so that's time waster number
three time waster number four is trying to plan everything out and then attempting
emptying to make the world conform to your detailed plans.
So this one is for you control freaks out there.
(10:47):
And I'll be honest, I'll hold my hand up for this one. I'm a recovering control
freak. It is still something I have to keep on top of.
So there's a famous quote from Eisenhower, and he said that plans are worthless,
but planning is everything.
And I love this quote because the The thing is, it is good to plan, isn't it?
You want to be prepared so that you can do your very best to influence your environment.
(11:12):
But when we spend ages, large volumes of time planning out every single detail
of a project or a day or a week, and attempt to force the world to conform to these plans.
It starts to become counterproductive and a big, colossal waste of time.
Because here's the thing, life is unpredictable.
(11:35):
We like to think as human beings we can entirely control our environment but
we just can't and actually one of the most useful skills that we can develop is the ability to adapt,
to improvise, to change what we do based on what's happening in our environment.
To give you an example of this, so when I first started doing public speaking,
(11:57):
So we're going back quite a few years here.
I was very nervous in front of an audience.
In fact, I was recovering from fairly intense public speaking phobia.
And my way round this fear was to prepare every single word of the presentation beforehand.
And then I would practice it over and over again until my voice hurt.
(12:19):
And this, as I'm sure you can appreciate, took an enormous amount of time.
Also, when I stood up to speak and give these presentations,
it was pretty flawless, but it was also super rigid.
There was just no creativity and I wasn't adjusting based on the feedback of the audience.
If they were giving me feedback that I should go in a different direction,
(12:42):
I would just ignore it and stick to my script.
So it was kind of like a monologue rather than a dialogue, which is not good
if you do presentations, especially if you're doing workshops.
Workshops but then I decided to do an acting class and in the class we did something called devising.
So devising is basically pure improvisation
(13:05):
so you're given very loose ideas no scripts and you're asked to come up with
a scene so maybe they hand you a tube of toothpaste an umbrella and maybe a
jacket and as a group you've got a couple of minutes to come up with with a
scene and then you have to present it back very quickly.
So when I was first asked to do this I was utterly terrified.
(13:26):
I was like I don't have a script. I need at least two days to go away with my
fellow actors and come up with a script and some characters and all of that stuff.
I need time to go away and prepare.
But the teacher took me aside and said no Steve that you've missed the whole
point of devising, you've missed the whole point of improvisation.
(13:48):
You've got to just put yourself into the situation with some loose guidelines
and then just create and see where it goes.
So I went with it and after the initial terror I started to relax and then I
still remember the moment.
It was like all of a sudden I realised I was becoming so much more comfortable
(14:08):
comfortable not knowing where something was going, but just going with it anyway.
And it was a beautiful place. It was a really nice feeling of relaxation and
comfort of knowing that I didn't have to plan out every single detail.
And the thing is, some of the scenes and snippets that we created in that class, they were amazing.
(14:29):
They were far more innovative than anything that I could create if I sat back
and planned out every single detail.
Because that's kind of how creativity works, isn't it? It's where we do throw
ourselves into something and then just go with it, just run with it and see where it takes you.
So now when I do presentations, face-to-face ones, I do still plan.
(14:50):
I do still have a list of things I want to talk about, but I always leave scope
for improvisation based on what happens in the moment.
And my presentations are way better, even if I do say so myself,
than what they were way back when I scripted everything out.
But on the whole, though, I
think it's important to remember that we can't predict everything in life.
(15:13):
So it's a big waste of time to try to do so.
Life is organic and we need
to adapt and adjust in the moment as the famous philosopher Mike Tyson used
to say plans are great until you get punched in the face so that's time waster
number four and the fifth and final time waster and this one is a big one and
(15:35):
that is saying yes to everyone.
So this one is for you people pleasers out
there and look I get it some people
don't really care about what other people think but I
think most people at some level want to be
accepted they want to be liked even if it's
a deep need that they maybe don't want to
(15:56):
consciously acknowledge and sometimes this
can go into overdrive into what is often referred to
as people pleasing so if you're
the kind of person who is saying yes all the time
when deep down you know that you should be saying no then a lot of the time
you're doing it because you want to be liked or you don't want to let someone
(16:16):
down which is kind of the same thing as wanting to be liked but you have to
remember that anytime you say yes to something you are actually indirectly.
Saying no to something else because you don't have an infinite amount of time and energy do you?
So if you're saying yes to things just because you don't want to offend people
(16:37):
then you're also saying no to spending time on the things that really matter.
So saying no is a crucial part of setting healthy boundaries,
isn't it? It's important to let people know what to expect.
And look, you don't have to justify either with a big, long, lengthy explanation.
You simply just have to say, thanks for asking. I really appreciate that.
But unfortunately, I've got other things on at the moment. And people will respect that.
(17:02):
And if they don't, then hey, maybe that's not a healthy relationship and it's
time to reevaluate that.
So there we have it, five big time wasters you need to cut out of your life. Let's do a quick review.
Number one, not knowing your values. Number two, being in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.
Number three, trying to multitask when you should be single tasking.
(17:25):
Number four, trying to plan everything out and then attempting to make the world
conform to your detailed plans.
And number five, saying yes to everything.
And as a closing comment, I just want to reiterate how you spend your time is
the most important choice that you can ever make.
There was a study done in the 1980s by Angus Campbell and it was on happiness.
(17:49):
Happiness, and they wanted to figure out what were the most important factors
when it comes to living a happy life.
And they found that lots of things came up, most people had their own definitions
of what happiness meant to them, but one theme kept on popping up.
They found that the people who were the happiest were those who felt that they
were most in control of their time, so please choose wisely.
(18:13):
I mean, at the end of the day, we only get get one life, so to spend it on things
that don't matter is a huge waste of time and a colossal tragedy.
I don't want you to get to the end of your life and look back and feel regret.
So I'd recommend if you find these relevant to you, cut these time wasters out
of your life, but mostly be more prudent over how you spend your time.
(18:36):
So thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode,
I would love it if you you could leave a review and follow or subscribe wherever
you listen to your podcasts it
really does help so thanks again and we'll speak soon in the next episode.
I don't know about you, but for me, the older I get, the more respect I have for my time.
When I was in my 20s and 30s, I acted as if time was endless.
Old age was something that happened to other people. And hey,
when I get to 60 or 70 or 80, they'll have cured old age anyway.
They'll give you a pill that will give you an extra 30 years of life.
(00:20):
But when I turned 40, which horrifyingly is now six years ago,
I was suddenly acutely aware of my mortality. mentality.
I was like, oh, I don't like where this is going.
And since then, I've been so much more respectful of how I use my time.
And if there are things that waste my time, then I'm a lot less tolerant of
them. I look to cut them out as much as I possibly can.
(00:42):
So in this episode of the Stress Less Living podcast, we're going to be taking
a look at the five biggest time wasters that you need to cut out of your life.
At the end of the day, life is not a trial run and how we choose to spend our
time is one of the most important considerations that we can ever make.
(01:03):
Hey there and welcome to the Stress Less Living Podcast.
My name is Stephen Burns and I've been a practicing coach, trainer and hypnotherapist for 25 years.
Each week I'll share easily digestible bite-sized ideas that you can immediately
put into practice so that you can live a more harmonious and balanced life.
On this podcast you can expect mindset advice, strategies for dealing with big
(01:25):
modern day problems like stress, overwhelm, burnout, perfectionism and procrastination,
and also insights into tools like meditation and mindfulness.
So if you're looking for the perfect antidote for the chaos of modern life,
my friend, you are absolutely in the right place.
So let's get started. What are these five big time wasters?
(01:46):
Well, this is not an extensive list, you may want to add your own things to
it, but these are five that I've found have come up frequently with clients and colleagues.
So time waster number one, not knowing what your values are.
So just in case you don't know, a value is an aspect of life that is important to you.
(02:07):
And we often allocate keywords to these values.
So things like growth, satisfaction, safety, security, connection.
Belonging, making a difference, significance, the list goes on and on.
And what we tend to do as human beings is we arrange most important values into
(02:28):
a league table into a hierarchy so these are like areas of life that we decided
are more important than other areas and we arrange them into like i said this
league table so for me my top.
Five values are as follows. So number one is growth, number two is freedom,
number three is connection, number four is to make a difference and number five is fun.
(02:54):
So the reason why this is important when it comes to time is because in general
when we live life in alignment with our most important values that's when we
are at our happiest and it feels like we are making the very best use out of our time.
So if I'm living a life that is not in alignment with growth,
(03:15):
freedom, connection to make a difference and fun then it's going to make me really unhappy.
It's going to feel like I'm completely wasting my time and this by the way is
why people can be really unhappy in a job because it doesn't align with their most important values.
So it feels like they're being forced to do something that deep down they just don't want to do.
(03:38):
So you want to have a think if you're looking to figure out your own important values.
The key question you want to ask is what are the things that are most important to you in life?
And you want to ask that question a few times. Usually when you ask it once
you get the social answers but if you ask it several times and you deeply reflect
(03:59):
on it you're going to start to get some of these keywords.
So if you you want an example of these keywords or if you want a list of them,
then I've included a link to a list of values in the show notes if you want to check that out.
And then from there, you want to have a think, okay, so what are my most important ones?
So if I was to come up with three or five of my most important values, what would those be?
(04:23):
If you were to arrange them into a hierarchy, a league table,
what would that league table look like?
And then from there, you want to ask yourself, OK, so how can I then organise
my time around those things?
Now, of course, there's going to be a bit of leeway. There's going to be a bit of give and take.
You can't always do everything that you want. Life, of course,
(04:44):
does require compromises. It does require trade-offs.
But you want to be spending most of your time in alignment with your most important values.
So how can you go about doing that? So, you're a busy person,
you have a demanding job or a hectic lifestyle and you've heard that meditation
is a great way to reduce stress and create calm within the chaos that is your life.
(05:07):
But you've tried meditation a few times, maybe with an app or from a book or
a YouTube video and it's just not really worked for you and you've maybe jumped
to the conclusion that meditation isn't for you.
Well, if that's the case, I just want to say that it's most most likely not your fault.
A lot of the time when meditation doesn't really work that well,
it's because you're missing a couple of key steps.
(05:30):
And if you want to learn what those key steps are and some of the fundamentals
of meditation, then I have a free video training that you can enroll on.
If you want to check that out, I've included a link to it in the show notes
and all the information that you need.
So that is time waster number one. Time
waster number two is being in a a relationship that makes you unhappy.
(05:52):
This one is a biggie. So for me, I was in a long-term relationship in my early 20s up to my early 30s.
And the weird thing was, at the time, I knew I wasn't fulfilled.
In fact, I knew the relationship wasn't really for me after about year two,
but I stuck around anyway just to see if it would change. And guess what? I
(06:15):
it didn't change at all. In fact, it got worse. And that's time that I can't ever get back.
So nowadays, I'm very mindful about not making that mistake again in the future.
And the thing is, I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here.
I'm talking about friends and work relationships too.
Maybe you belong to a circle of friends that don't support you,
(06:39):
or even worse, bring you down to make them feel good. That's pretty common, if we're being honest.
So I think it's very important to examine and look at the relationships and
then choose wisely the people that we spend time with.
And if there's a relationship that's not working for you, there's three options you want to take.
So option number one is what I call the pep talk.
(07:03):
So this is where you call it out. So you
let them know that you're not happy with the way this relationship
is set up or the way that you're being treated in
the relationship and if that works fantastic if not
you can then progress to option number two and
this is where you limit the relationship so say
for example you have a circle of friends and you feel like it's maybe not the
(07:27):
best group to be hanging about with all the time but you still value some of
the people in it and you do on the whole value that relationship then maybe
you want to just limit the amount of time that you spend with them.
You know you don't have to cut them out completely that's very much a last resort
but you maybe won't just want to restrict the amount of time that you spend in that relationship.
(07:48):
So that's option number two and if that doesn't work you can then go to the
extreme version that's option number three and that is where you cut them off.
Now I'm not usually an advocate for you know cutting off from personal or work
or family relationships but sometimes it needs to be done if you are in a toxic
(08:08):
relationship and it's showing absolutely no signs of changing and deep down
you know it's not going to change.
Got to cut it off and I know that does sound extreme but sometimes we just have
to do that and I think just appreciating that there are so many people on the
planet and you're not going to be a good fit for all of them and all of them
(08:31):
are certainly not going to be a good fit for you and that is perfectly okay.
I think that's a really powerful realisation to make
so I think sometimes it's just best to admit that
you've got to go your separate ways and it's time to cut
things off so that's time waster number two
time waster number three trying to
multitask so this is something i
(08:53):
am really really big on and that is you
want to avoid attempting to multitask as much as you possibly can so many people
try to multitask and this is where you attempt to spin lots of plates at the
one time you take on far too much you fragment your attention across across
(09:13):
several different tasks.
So maybe you're sending a message at the same time as answering an email or
you're surfing the internet while you're having dinner with a friend,
or maybe you're doing something else.
You're maybe juggling three or four projects at the one time and it's starting to overwhelm you.
Well, the thing is, research has shown that multitasking isn't just not effective,
(09:37):
it's actually not something that we can even do or at least do effectively.
That when you get down to it, you can only ever focus on a single thing properly at the one time.
So when we attempt to multitask, what you end up doing is you just end up doing
lots of single things really badly.
So instead of multitasking or attempting to multitask, you want to single task instead.
(10:03):
So this is where you give something your full undivided attention.
You fully immerse yourself in the activity that you're
doing and then when you're finished you move on to
the next thing and give that your full undivided attention
hey it's kind of like the advice that your
granny used to give you you can only focus on one thing
(10:23):
at a time i don't know if your granny gave you that advice i think mine did
but maybe i'm misremembering let's not go there so that's time waster number
three time waster number four is trying to plan everything out and then attempting
emptying to make the world conform to your detailed plans.
So this one is for you control freaks out there.
(10:47):
And I'll be honest, I'll hold my hand up for this one. I'm a recovering control
freak. It is still something I have to keep on top of.
So there's a famous quote from Eisenhower, and he said that plans are worthless,
but planning is everything.
And I love this quote because the The thing is, it is good to plan, isn't it?
You want to be prepared so that you can do your very best to influence your environment.
(11:12):
But when we spend ages, large volumes of time planning out every single detail
of a project or a day or a week, and attempt to force the world to conform to these plans.
It starts to become counterproductive and a big, colossal waste of time.
Because here's the thing, life is unpredictable.
(11:35):
We like to think as human beings we can entirely control our environment but
we just can't and actually one of the most useful skills that we can develop is the ability to adapt,
to improvise, to change what we do based on what's happening in our environment.
To give you an example of this, so when I first started doing public speaking,
(11:57):
So we're going back quite a few years here.
I was very nervous in front of an audience.
In fact, I was recovering from fairly intense public speaking phobia.
And my way round this fear was to prepare every single word of the presentation beforehand.
And then I would practice it over and over again until my voice hurt.
(12:19):
And this, as I'm sure you can appreciate, took an enormous amount of time.
Also, when I stood up to speak and give these presentations,
it was pretty flawless, but it was also super rigid.
There was just no creativity and I wasn't adjusting based on the feedback of the audience.
If they were giving me feedback that I should go in a different direction,
(12:42):
I would just ignore it and stick to my script.
So it was kind of like a monologue rather than a dialogue, which is not good
if you do presentations, especially if you're doing workshops.
Workshops but then I decided to do an acting class and in the class we did something called devising.
So devising is basically pure improvisation
(13:05):
so you're given very loose ideas no scripts and you're asked to come up with
a scene so maybe they hand you a tube of toothpaste an umbrella and maybe a
jacket and as a group you've got a couple of minutes to come up with with a
scene and then you have to present it back very quickly.
So when I was first asked to do this I was utterly terrified.
(13:26):
I was like I don't have a script. I need at least two days to go away with my
fellow actors and come up with a script and some characters and all of that stuff.
I need time to go away and prepare.
But the teacher took me aside and said no Steve that you've missed the whole
point of devising, you've missed the whole point of improvisation.
(13:48):
You've got to just put yourself into the situation with some loose guidelines
and then just create and see where it goes.
So I went with it and after the initial terror I started to relax and then I
still remember the moment.
It was like all of a sudden I realised I was becoming so much more comfortable
(14:08):
comfortable not knowing where something was going, but just going with it anyway.
And it was a beautiful place. It was a really nice feeling of relaxation and
comfort of knowing that I didn't have to plan out every single detail.
And the thing is, some of the scenes and snippets that we created in that class, they were amazing.
(14:29):
They were far more innovative than anything that I could create if I sat back
and planned out every single detail.
Because that's kind of how creativity works, isn't it? It's where we do throw
ourselves into something and then just go with it, just run with it and see where it takes you.
So now when I do presentations, face-to-face ones, I do still plan.
(14:50):
I do still have a list of things I want to talk about, but I always leave scope
for improvisation based on what happens in the moment.
And my presentations are way better, even if I do say so myself,
than what they were way back when I scripted everything out.
But on the whole, though, I
think it's important to remember that we can't predict everything in life.
(15:13):
So it's a big waste of time to try to do so.
Life is organic and we need
to adapt and adjust in the moment as the famous philosopher Mike Tyson used
to say plans are great until you get punched in the face so that's time waster
number four and the fifth and final time waster and this one is a big one and
(15:35):
that is saying yes to everyone.
So this one is for you people pleasers out
there and look I get it some people
don't really care about what other people think but I
think most people at some level want to be
accepted they want to be liked even if it's
a deep need that they maybe don't want to
(15:56):
consciously acknowledge and sometimes this
can go into overdrive into what is often referred to
as people pleasing so if you're
the kind of person who is saying yes all the time
when deep down you know that you should be saying no then a lot of the time
you're doing it because you want to be liked or you don't want to let someone
(16:16):
down which is kind of the same thing as wanting to be liked but you have to
remember that anytime you say yes to something you are actually indirectly.
Saying no to something else because you don't have an infinite amount of time and energy do you?
So if you're saying yes to things just because you don't want to offend people
(16:37):
then you're also saying no to spending time on the things that really matter.
So saying no is a crucial part of setting healthy boundaries,
isn't it? It's important to let people know what to expect.
And look, you don't have to justify either with a big, long, lengthy explanation.
You simply just have to say, thanks for asking. I really appreciate that.
But unfortunately, I've got other things on at the moment. And people will respect that.
(17:02):
And if they don't, then hey, maybe that's not a healthy relationship and it's
time to reevaluate that.
So there we have it, five big time wasters you need to cut out of your life. Let's do a quick review.
Number one, not knowing your values. Number two, being in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.
Number three, trying to multitask when you should be single tasking.
(17:25):
Number four, trying to plan everything out and then attempting to make the world
conform to your detailed plans.
And number five, saying yes to everything.
And as a closing comment, I just want to reiterate how you spend your time is
the most important choice that you can ever make.
There was a study done in the 1980s by Angus Campbell and it was on happiness.
(17:49):
Happiness, and they wanted to figure out what were the most important factors
when it comes to living a happy life.
And they found that lots of things came up, most people had their own definitions
of what happiness meant to them, but one theme kept on popping up.
They found that the people who were the happiest were those who felt that they
were most in control of their time, so please choose wisely.
(18:13):
I mean, at the end of the day, we only get get one life, so to spend it on things
that don't matter is a huge waste of time and a colossal tragedy.
I don't want you to get to the end of your life and look back and feel regret.
So I'd recommend if you find these relevant to you, cut these time wasters out
of your life, but mostly be more prudent over how you spend your time.
(18:36):
So thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode,
I would love it if you you could leave a review and follow or subscribe wherever
you listen to your podcasts it
really does help so thanks again and we'll speak soon in the next episode.
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